A cloud is on the top of the mountain-my heart is with her
by Wilddog 13
Summary: Read the entire life of Adam Cartwright. From his arrival in the West to ...? Challenges and adventures, love and affection, which accompany him all his life.
1. Chapter 1

He was glad he had taken the buggy. It had gone cold and the sun hadn't shown up yet. But he had to go to her anyway. No matter how cold it was and how his bones were aching. It was her birthday and he had never missed her birthday. He got off the buggy and went to her grave.

„Hello Koko! Happy birthday to you! I hope you've found someone to celebrate with you! Brought you a little birthday gift."

He put an eagle feather on her grave. Back in those days she had given him a feather as a birthday gift, too. And she had explained to him, that the native people consider the eagle's feather sacred, and that this feather was an icon of truthfulness and faithfulness. Since he couldn't kneel any longer, he got up and sat down on a rock. Now she was only in his heart for the last three months. He smiled. As long as he knew her, she has waited till he got over the death of his wife. It had always been important to Koko, that he was alright. Only then she thought of herself. He would have liked that the two most important women in his life have found their final resting place side by side. But Koko's husband had picked this place, and he would never have dared to tell him his wish.

The wind got stronger and he turned up the collar of his jacket to protect himself from the cold. If his children knew that he was at her grave in this kind of weather they'd tell him something. But he didn't want anyone to accompany him when he visited her.  
He wanted to be alone with her. The wind grew stronger and he looked up.

It would surely snow today. He smiled again.

"Do you remember, Koko? The time the first snow of the year fell."

Deep in thought he remembered the time when they had met for the first time.

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It surely would be snowing today.

Maybe it will start soon, so he could count snow flakes. It would be much more interesting than sitting here and doing all the exercises.

For the fifth time yet! It's been three weeks since he went to school and he hated going there. He had been looking forward to visiting school. But already after two hours he knew that he probably wouldn't have any fun here.

He had to write a test, so Mr. Fletcher could assess what class he'd be in. It was a very simple test. He could solve the tasks within an hour, and he was sure that he hadn't made a single mistake. Mr. Fletcher had examined the test for a long time, then he came to his desk, leaned towards him and talked very quietly to him. „Well boy, I don't know how you could cheat, but if you think that I will put you to the fourth grade, you're wrong! I will keep an eye on you!"

Only a week later, he stood in the corner for the first time, and that's just because he had pointed out to Mr. Fletcher that he had made a mistake in solving a math problem. In the beginning he had worked through the tasks one after the other and was always among the first to be finished.

Mr. Fletcher was not very pleased about this and told him that he had to repeat all the tasks until even the last one was finished. Now he always took his time and looked out of the window, daydreaming.

„ADAM!"

He winced. How many times had Mr. Fletcher called him repeatedly, and he just didn't get it?

„Yes?"

Mr. Fletcher stood right in front of him with obviously enraged.

„Adam Cartwright, how often do I have to tell you! If I address you, you have to get up and say, "Yes, Sir" and not simply "Yes"! Do I have to write another letter to your father, so that he will tell you how to behave towards adults? "

Adam stood up and looked past Mr. Fletcher.

"No, Sir!"

"As punishment for looking out of the window all the time and not following the lessons you will have to clean the blackboard and then you will stay in the corner till school is over."

Adam's first thought was to talk back, that he could clean his stupid board all by himself but he changed his mind. He didn't want to have another serious talk with his father in the barn. So he did what Mr. Fletcher had told him and then stood in the corner for three hours and he was not allowed to go on a break with the others, of course.

At the end of the school day Adam got a letter from Mr. Fletcher which his father was supposed to sign. With his head down he ran to his horse.

"Hey, Cartwright! What are you dreaming about? Lisa's big boobs?"

It was clear that Mitch and his friends had waited for him. He walked on to his horse.

„What's going on, Cartwright! Stay where you are! Or are you afraid?"

Why couldn't they just leave him be! Suddenly Mitch stumbled forward and was just able to prevent falling to the ground.

"What the hell . . !"

He turned around and got even more angry.

"Half breed, you're looking for trouble?"

"Not me, but you and your friends! Leave Adam alone!"

"Oh oh! Adam's got a girlfriend and she's a half breed!

Mitch hadn't finished as he knelt in the snow and held his eye.

"I'd say you take your friends and off you go!"

Mitch looked for his school books and stood up. "You'll pay for this, half breed!"

He nodded to his friends, and disappeared behind the school's shed.

"Thanks, Jessica! T'wasn't necessary! I'd have managed that!"

Adam helped her to pick up her books.

"Why don't you fight back, Adam? Why don't you just hit them? "

He shrugged. "That won't work. I'm here for only three weeks and already got five letters to take home. And if I start fighting them now I probably won't be able to come to school for a week because I just can't sit!"

"It's just the same with me. Except that I don't get any trouble at home. My parents know that Mr. Fletcher doesn't like me, because my father is an Indian."

He put his school books in his saddle bags. "At least you know why he doesn't like you. I have no clue why he didn't like me right from the beginning."

"You're too smart, Adam. He cannot handle it. Children must be stupid in his eyes, especially here. He got the notion that we all came from the cities, because our parents were too stupid to find work there."

"The question is, who's stupid!"

Jessica laughed out loud. "When Mr. Fletcher hears this, you better get yourself quite a thick cushion."

"It is true, Jessica. I don't like school. I'd rather hope we'd move elsewhere."

He leaned his face on his horse. She shouldn't see how sad he was. Jessica came to his side and punched him slightly on the arm. "Oh, Adam! You're only here for a short time.  
Believe me, it is a beautiful country, and we both will have fun here."

Adam turned his head toward her. "We?"

"Well, we're friends after all, ain't we?"

Great! His first friend here in Nevada was a girl, and she was only seven years old. "Yes, we are, Jessica!"

She got on her horse. "Adam, please don't call me Jessica. My Indian name is Koko."

He had mounted his horse, too. "Where do you live, Koko? Maybe we go the same way?"

"We do. I see you every morning when you ride to school. Our house is not far from yours. I have to turn right at the Beaver Creek."

Both made their way home. They agreed to meet at the Beaver Creek the next morning.

XX

Adam tried to ride the last part of the way as slowly as possible. He knew his father would be angry again when he would give him the letter from Mr. Fletcher. It wasn't the worst thing, that his father would be angry with him, but that he would be disappointed by Adam.

But what should Adam tell him. What Mr. Fletcher wrote in his letters, was indeed true.

He daydreamed in school, replied snottily and had fought the other boys right from the start. How could he explain to his father that it was just because Mr. Fletcher didn't like him. Adam knew exactly what his Pa'd tell him.

'Son. You cannot like everyone. But he's your teacher, so be polite, do your tasks and you won't get into trouble.'

If only it was just that simple!

He had stabled his horse and opened the door of the house. When he entered his little brother came running to him and wanted to be picked up and cradled in Adam's arm.

Adam put his satchel on the table and picked him up.

"Hello Hoss! Did you have fun with Hop Sing? "

"Baked biscuits ."

"Is there one left for me?"

Adam teased.

"Oh yes! Even for Pa!"

"Son numbel one is pletty late. Food almost cold. Ml. Caltwlight vely angly. "

His father was already at home? Usually he wasn't home before supper, cause there was so much work to do. "I'll just take my stuff to my room, then I'll be back."

Less than five minutes later, he sat at the table and tried not to look at his father. "How did school go today, Adam?"

Without taking his eyes from his plate he answered his father. "The first few hours were all right."

Ben put the cutlery aside. "The first few hours?"

"I got another letter from Mr. Fletcher for you."

Even though his eyes were still directed downward, he knew exactly how his father looked at him right now.

"Adam would you look at me when I talk to you."

He raised his head. "Yes, Sir!"

"Can you explain to me why you cannot behave any more?" I have to work so much here, so we will get over the up-coming winter, and you've got nothing better to do than to cause even more problems? "

" It won't happen again, Pa!"

Ben's nerves were already strained by the hard work on the ranch anyway, and now his son was stepping out of line all the time. His anger and disappointment about Adam reflected in his voice. "You already said that last time. Was our conversation in the barn not sufficient? "

Most of all Adam wanted to bow his head again. He didn't want to see the disappointment in his father's eyes. "It was enough, Sir."

"Now, did you run into a fight or did you skip school?"

"No Sir. I've been day-dreaming again. "

Ben shook his head and was flabbergasted for the moment. "Adam, I really don't understand! You were looking forward to going to school and now there's nothing but trouble."

Adam gathered all of his courage. "Mr. Fletcher doesn't like me and the tasks that I get are so easy. "

Ben groaned. There it was again - this odd problem of his son. This impatience, wanting to know everything immediately. And if you couldn't explain everything just fast enough his opponent was to blame. "Adam you're new in school. Mr. Fletcher surely will give you other tasks soon. Stop thinking that no one likes you! I expect you to behave well in school from now on. I don't want to receive any further letters. You understand me, Adam? "

"Yes Sir."

Ben took his knife and fork again. "As punishment, you will not only clean the barn for another week, you will also help Hop Sing in the kitchen, and I don't want you to forget about your little brother."

"Yes, Sir."

How happy Adam would be, if they had never found this place!


	2. Chapter 2

„Mitch, come over!"

Mitch strolled to his friends standing in front of the school house. „So what's going on? Do we already have to go inside?"

„No! Look over there! The new lovers! Don't you think we should congratulate them?"

Mitch watched over to Koko and Adam who stood in the yard eating. „Nope! No interest!"

His friend Buck laughed out loud. "Boys, did ya hear that? The great Mitch Sanders is afraid of the half breed! And I thought you wanted revenge for the black eye she gave you two weeks ago!"

But Mitch really was afraid of Koko. What the guys didn't know was the fact that she had threatened him only a day later. If he don't let Adam in peace, she would tell her grandfather. And he would come into his room at night with the whole tribe. But he just couldn't stand there in front of his friends like a little coward. "I'm not afraid. It's just boring, as Cartwright never fights back."

Buck smiled mean. "Oh, I already got an idea how you can have a good fight with Adam. Follow me!"

Koko looked at Adam, "Adam, you got time this afternoon? We could go riding, and I'll show you the best places to go fishing in spring."

He looked at her somehow depressed. "Unfortunately it's not possible. I gotta help my father at the ranch. He wants to continue to build the barn, and so he needs me. And after all I have to take care of my little brother."

"You've barely time for yourself, right?"

"Koko, as you know, we've only been here since spring. So my Pa and I first had to accomplish everything by ourselves because he couldn't afford to hire hands. That's why I didn't come to school earlier. Since the summer Hop Sing has been living with us, and Pa made friends with the neighbors and so got some help for buiding the house and barn. We aren't done yet. He just needs me. In spring, he will start cattle breeding, and then I'll surely get time to go fishing in the afternoon. "

All of a sudden Adam's expression changed. "What's going on, Adam? Something's wrong?"

Mmm, yes! Mitch and his friends are coming towards us."

"Well! Are you making wedding plans already? What will your father say finding out you're in love with a half breed? "

Adam took a deep breath. He didn't want to be provoked by Mitch in no case. "Mitch, why can't you just leave us alone?"

"Why should I? You guys are my friends and you spend your break with your friends, don't you? " He turned to Koko. "Hey, half breed! What you got for breakfast?"

And he pushed her hard so that her bread fell to the ground. "Oh, so sorry!"

He looked at his friends and they all laughed out loud. Adam took a step closer to Mitch. "What's that supposed to mean, Mitch? Pick it up!"

Mitch raised his hands and grinned at him maliciously. "Uhhhh, what're gonna do, Cartwright? Will you tell me off? Because you won't fight me. Your daddy doesn't allow that."

Koko noticed how Adam clenched his hand into a fist. "Adam, come on, let's go. Anyway I'm not hungry anymore."

"Cartwright, you won't listen to a girl?"

Now Adam turned up close to Mitch. „You can't provoke me!"

Mitch looked at Buck. He only nodded. "Half breed, why do you wear this odd cap?" With a jerk Buck tore her cap from her head. „Noone can see your beautiful black hair!"

„Oh Buck, who wants to see that?"

Buck pulled a pocket knife from his pants. The two other friends of Mitch and Buck grabbed Koko by her arms. „You're right! Time for a haircut!"

Adam shoved Mitch aside and lunged at Buck. It didn't take long, and all the children in the schoolyard encircled the two fighting boys.

Suddenly Buck screamed. He had stabbed the knife into his thigh. Adam stood up and looked down at him startled. At that moment, Mr. Fletcher came up and yelled at Adam instantly. "What happened here? What did you do, you stupid boy?"

With a dumbfounded face Mitch stood next to Mr. Fletcher. "Cartwright threatened Buck with a knife and as Buck wanted to take it away from him, he rammed it into Buck's thigh."

Adam had no words. Totally flabbergasted he looked at Mitch and Mr. Fletcher.

„That's not true! That's Buck's knife!"

„Jessica Yuma, you just keep out of this!" Do you think I didn't notice that you've made friends with Adam? But I knew in an instant that nothing good will come out of this. Wouldn't surprise me if you gave him the knife. "

Mr. Fletcher looked back at Buck, who was still lying on the ground whimpering.

"Kids, help Buck and bring him to the classroom. Mitch, you get the doctor. Then go and get Buck's father. "

"Yes, Sir! I'll do it right away!"

However, before he ran off, he grinned at Adam and Koko cheekily.

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Koko and Adam stood at the beaver creek with their horses. "Oh, Adam, your father just has to believe that you're not to blame."

Adam sat in his saddle completely glum. "I'm not quite sure about this! He has so much going on, that he might have no time to listen to me. "

"But he knows you! He must know that you wouldn't lie to him. "

"Since we've been here, everything is just a bit different. We had hardly arrived when he already started to put his dream into practise. He didn't even take the time to ride with me across the country to see everything. My father only works from sunup to sundown. I miss our talks we always had when sitting together on the wagon or in the evening by the campfire. There are moments when I think I'm just a burden to him. "

Koko drew her horse very close to Adam and put her hand on his arm. "Adam, you're surely not. You've told me so much about your father. That's why I know that he loves you. Adam, there are a few words of wisdom my father always tells me. And I think both apply to you at this moment.

One is, 'With tears in your eyes you cannot look into the future' and the other 'In the life of an Indian there are no bad days'. Even if times are difficult. Every day is a good day. Because you're alive, every day is a good one! "

A slight smile crossed Adams face. "Thanks, Koko! I'll remember that on the way to the barn. "

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Adam. I'll think of you."

"See you tomorrow, Koko, and thank you."

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Adam had just gotten Hoss to bed when he heard the front door slam. He took the letter from Mr. Fletcher and made his way to his father. Adam was happy that he still had had time till the evening to tell his father about the incident.

"Good evening, son. Is Hoss already sleeping? "

"Yes, Sir."

Ben knew immediately that something was wrong when he heard the low voice of Adam. "Adam?"

This time Adam didn't look down. He handed the letter over to his father, thinking of the words of Koko. 'With tears in your eyes you cannot look into the future'. He wanted to be strong so his father would believe him.

Ben exhaled. What was the matter with his son? All the years of the long journey he could rarely complain about him. Yes, sometimes he had been very stressful with this greed for knowledge and his many questions, but about his behavior Ben couldn't complain ever before. And now this! No sooner had they reached their destination, than the boy gave him nothing but trouble. Ben opened the letter and with each row Adam could see that his father was getting more and more angry. He did not yell at him. But Adam would have preferred that.

„Where did you get the knife from?"

Adam put his hands in his pocket. Otherwise he would have clenched his hands into fists of anger. He had not even asked him if he was really to blame for the incident. His father believed Mr. Fletcher immediately. "It wasn't my knife, Pa. And I didn't start the whole thing. "

Now his father's voice got louder. "Don't lie to me, Adam. You know that I never accept lies. I expect that you take responsibility for your mistakes. Mr. Fletcher wrote in his letter that the other kids saw that it was your knife and that you've hurt Buck. "

He still looked right into his father's eyes. "They are lying!"

"All of them?"

"Yes!"

"Adam, I'm so disappointed of you. We aren't even here for a year, and my son already got the reputation of a roughneck, who hurts others deliberately. You can already go to the barn, I'll be right there. "

Now Adam stood there, shaking his head. „You don't believe me, Pa?"

"No! Right now I can't believe you! Too much has happened during the last few weeks and now go. "

On the way to the barn Adam tried to convince himself with Koko's second word of wisdom, that every day is a good day. But it didn't quite work.

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Ben wasn't pleased at all that he had to ride to town to see Mr. Fletcher after a busy day on the ranch. But he understood that Adam's teacher wanted to talk to him after this incident. Ben entered the schoolhouse and took off his hat.

"Oh, good evening Mr. Cartwright. I am pleased that you were able to come right now. "

"Good evening, Mr. Fletcher. Please don't mind when I say I could have done without it."

Mr. Fletcher pointed to a chair and Ben sat down. "I'm very sorry that you had to come here, but I think it's important that we talk about Adam's improper behavior. I just want to wait a few seconds, because even Jessica's father is coming. "

"Jessica?"

"Oh, your son didn't tell you that he has befriended the Indian girl? Wouldn't surprise me at all! Since he spends the breaks with her, his behavior has gotten worse, which of course doesn't surprise me. What else would he learn from a person raised among savages. I'm quite sure that Adam got the knife from her. "

Ben was surprised. Adam hadn't told him that he had found a friend. In former times he would have told him instantly. It wasn't easy for Adam to find good friends. Most of them always considered him as a braggart because he already knew so much.

The schoolhouse door opened. Ben froze. The last time he had been so close to an Indian was the day when Hoss' mother died. Even Mr. Fletcher was more reserved. Koko's father was an imposing man, tall and strong with dark eyes, who looked at both men intently.

"Yuma, you can sit there."

Just as his appearance was strong, so was his voice. "Mr. Fletcher! I think during our last meeting I told you that you should call me Amarok or Mr. Yuma! I assume that you just forgot this discussion and you didn't intend to insult me. "

Without realizing himself, Mr. Fletcher took a step back. "Oh, uhm, sorry, Mr. Yuma! Won't you sit down so we can talk? "

"No! Because the conversation will be very short. I do not intend to listen to your untruths."

The teacher drew a deep breath. "What do you mean by that?"

"That you didn't write the truth, and that you weren't willing to believe my daughter or Adam."

"But the other kids have seen what had happened."

"If my daughter says that the knife belonged to Buck, and Adam just wanted to protect her, it was just the way it happened. She doesn't speak with a forked tongue. "

Completely irritated Ben followed the conversation. Mr. Fletcher started to stammer. "Yes, ... uh ... Then I have to ... well ... uh ... .talk again ... uhm ... with the kids."

"So it's all said and I'll go."

Koko's father left the schoolhouse and quietly shut the door behind him.

Ben looked at Mr. Fletcher. "Yes, Mr. Cartwright! What can I say? Could you believe such a man? "

"Mr. Fletcher, I really don't know what to believe at all, but it's your duty as a teacher to talk once more with the kids about this incident and to listen to the version of Adam and Jessica as well. I think as well that our talk is over now!"

Ben took his hat and said goodbye. It was when he reached his horse, that he noticed they hadn't talked about Adams general behavior. The appearance of the Indian had been too impressive.

„Mr. Cartwright?"

Ben was startled. Out of the dark Jessica's father stepped forward.

„Yes?" "Our kids spend a lot of time together. Adam has told a lot about you. I wanted to meet the man who is so wise, so clever and brave that he went through the whole country to make his dream come true. "

Ben wondered what his son had done lately, and when he had the opportunity to talk with the Indians. He had to help on the ranch or take care of Hoss. Ben realized that he didn't know exactly what Adam did all day long. In the evening of every day he only noticed that all chores were done, he had given to his son. Ben didn't know what to answer.

"Mr. Cartwright! As Adam has described you, you're a father with a big heart, but the heart of your son darkens, and you take no notice of it. People who only work, won't find time to dream. Only the one who is dreaming, gains wisdom.

We have to take a rest from time to time and wait until our souls have caught up with us again."

Ben still didn't understand a word of what Jessica's father wanted to tell him. "Mr. Yuma ... I .. "

Koko's father raised his hand. "Think about my words. I wish you a nice evening."

He was about to disappear in the dark, when he turned around one more time. "Mr. Cartwright, there's still something I want to tell you. How my people live with children. We say…. Never hit a child, and if he's sad or scared, take him in your arms. Good night!"

On the way to the ranch Ben thought about the words of this Indian.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben returned to the ranch very late. On the way home he thought about the words of the Indian. What did he mean by that - Adams heart was about to darken? He thought about the previous months and what had changed for both of them. Wasn't his son happy that they had finally reached their destination? Like him Adam had looked forward to settling down, and not longer being on the road during all kind of weather and all alone with the wagon. Now they finally had found a home. So what was wrong with his eldest? He looked into the dark night sky.

"Elizabeth, help me to understand our son. I can answer all his questions, but his feelings and what it looks like in his soul has always been a mystery to me! He doesn't tell me what he's thinking, if he's mad, he's sad or whatever he fears. Elizabeth, your son doesn't even tell me when he's sick."

He wondered when he had seen Adam crying the last time. Ben thought about it a long time. Then he realized that Adam hadn't even cried when Inger died. What did Jessica's father say? He should take his child into his arms, not punish him. But Adam didn't want to be taken in his arms any longer. Shortly after Inger's death Adam told him that he'd be too old for that kind of mothering and the little time Ben had he should spend with Hoss. And what had he done? He had taken care of Hoss.

Did he expect too much of Adam during the last few months? A cold shiver ran down Ben's spine. During the last months, he hadn't talked to Adam longer than ten minutes on every single day, and then he only told him what were his chores for the day. And in the evening he had sent him to bed early. Since he went to school the evenings were different. He scolded him and punished him for the letters, he had brought home from school. Ben realized that he had not even asked him why he could not cope at school. And what shocked him most was that his work had made him blind. In all these years his son had never lied to him. How could he forget about that! When Adam said he had no knife, he had none. He just wondered if Adam could ever forgive him.

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"Adam? Adam ...? ... Are you awake?"

Adam opened his eyes and saw Hoss standing in front of his bed. "Did you have a bad dream again?"

Hoss only nodded. Adam lifted his blanket and Hoss slipped underneath. Hoss still hadn't got used to sleep alone. So every night he went to Adam's room. But it never took long and Hoss had fallen asleep again. Thereafter Adam always needed some time to find the necessary rest. Too many thoughts were buzzing around in his head. Tonight it was really difficult. He knew that his father went to Mr. Fletcher last night, and he was worried about what the morning would bring. For sure a long list of chores he had to do before breakfast and after school. And he surely wouldn't have enough time to ride over to Koko. At least they were able to see each other in the afternoon from time to time. He had taken Hoss for a ride over to Koko when his chores were done. In the beginning he was a bit scared of Koko's father, but after having some talks with him, and Amarok listening to him, he always looked forward to the time at Koko's. He also liked her mother. There was hot chocolate and cakes or coffee and already after the second visit Koko's mother always hugged him hello and good-bye running her hand through his hair, as if Adam was her son.

Every night before going to sleep Inger had taken him in her arms and both had a talk about the day. She then gave him a goodnight kiss and together they said the same quotation.

'When the day is over, I think of everything I've done. Did I waste the day or did I achieve something? Did I make a new friend or an enemy? Was I angry or was I kind? Whatever I've done, it's over. While I'm sleeping, the world creates a new bright day that I can use or waste or whatever I want. Tonight my intention is, I'll be good, I'll be kind, I'll do something that is worth to be done '.

Thinking about it he realized that this quote would suit Koko. He could give her some sage advice, too. Slowly his eyes closed and he fell asleep again. So he didn't notice that his father came into his room and just sat on the bed looking at his two sons and internalizing what a stroke of luck he had to bring them both safe and sound all the way to Nevada. Before he left the room, he smiled and wondered how long it would take Hoss until he could sleep in his own room without Adam.

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His father never needed to wake him up in the morning. Adam always woke up in time. Very quietly, he slipped out of bed, so Hoss could sleep a little longer. He got ready and packed his schoolbag, and then run down quickly, so that he could do his chores in the barn. For punishment he had to muck all the boxes and feed the horses for the rest of the year. When Adam had finished his chores, he returned to his room to wake Hoss and dress him.

"Hoss you have to wake up! The new day is here."

Hoss pulled the blanket back over his head. "No! Won't!"

"Hoss, c'mon. Breakfast is almost ready yet."

"Food?"

Adam laughed. "Yes Hoss, like every morning."

Hoss pushed the blanket away, sat down on the bed and stretched his arms out to Adam. "You carry me?"

"No! You have to clean yourself and to dress first before we go down."

"Why?"

"Because Pa wants it this way!"

Hoss pouted. "Pa's not here!"

Hoss had a point there. Their father almost never had breakfast with them, because he left the house early in order to get as much done as possible during the day. "Yes, Pa is not here. But you dress anyway."

Hoss crossed his arms. "Nope!"

Oh great, Hoss was having his stubborn morning. "Hoss, will I go down alone and eat your breakfast, too?"

Immediately Hoss started to cry. "I tell Pa!"

Adam took his little hand. "So get up now, get cleaned and I'll get your things. If you hurry, I'll carry you downstairs."

Hoss sniffled a bit and then got up. Adam took a deep breath. There were days when Hoss acted up almost half an hour. Those days he could forget about the breakfast and had to start right away, so he wouldn't be late for school. Adam returned with Hoss' clothings and helped his little brother to dress quickly. Adam carried Hoss as promised and went down the stairs. On the landing, he stopped and looked to the table in surprise. His father sat there. This only could mean that Pa's conversation with Mr. Fletcher had gone worse, than he had imagined.

„Pa."

Hoss saw his father sitting at the table, and he instantly wanted to run to him. Slowly Adam followed his brother and sat down at his place. „Good morning, Pa!"

Adam looked at him briefly, then stared at his plate and waited for the things that surely would come.

"Adam, yesterday I met Jessica's father."

Adam just wanted to grab his cup, but froze in motion. He hadn't expected Koko's father at the meeting at school, too, since Koko and he had thought that Mr. Fletcher only complained about Koko's interfering in this letter.

"Why didn't you tell me that you've found a friend in school? Surely not because Jessica is a girl?"

"Her name is Koko, Pa. Only Mr. Fletcher calls her Jessica."

„Adam could you please look at me when we talk?"

"Yes, Sir!"

Ben looked at his son and he was startled again. It had been a long time since he had seen Adam laughing, and his son's eyes had lost their sparkle. He heard the words of the Indian again. Adam's heart darkened and Ben now knew what Koko's father wanted to tell him.

"Son, I know we haven't talked a lot with each other in recent times. But it would have been nice if you'd told me that you've found friends at school. "

Adam looked at Hoss and back to his father. "I didn't dare to tell you about Koko!"

"Why not? I don't care if your friend is a boy or a girl. Important though is that you understand each other."

"You don't even care that her father is an Indian? Mum was killed by Indians."

Ben leaned back in his chair and wondered what answer he could give Adam. "Adam, I have no hatred for the Indians, just because your mother lost her life through them. They didn't want to kill all of us on the station. They were just after one man. On this day, we didn't only lose Inger, but the Indians also mourned their warriors who died by our bullets. I don't judge all Indians therefore. The only important thing is that you have found a good friend in Koko."

"The cakes made by Koko's mum are delicious, Pa."

Hoss stroke his belly. Adam stopped breathing. Surely now his father would scold him knowing he had taken Hoss to Koko's home.

"Pa, I was only with Hoss at Koko's, when I got my chores done. Please, believe me."

Ben was startled. What had he done? Within few months, Adam apparently had completely lost confidence in him. He could see that his son was afraid of being punished again. "Adam, what's really going on at school? Please, tell me why you don't get along?"

Adam was taken by surprise. He had thought that his father would tell him off again but he spoke with a friendly voice to him. Was he still interested in him? "Mr. Fletcher makes me repeat all the tasks until all the other pupils are finished. I started to work very slowly and to look out of the window, cause I don't want to do it all over again."

"I don't understand why your teacher won't give you some other tasks?"

"He thinks I cheated on the test for the assessment, which is why he put me in the third grade."

Ben was indignant. "That's nonsense! You've never cheated before! "

"And because I'm dreaming half of the morning, I'm suppose to stand in the corner almost every day."

Ben closed his eyes. He promised himself never to neglect his boys again because of his work. Even if the construction of the ranch should last a little longer. His dream shouldn't come true at the expense of his two boys.

"I feel so sorry, Adam, that I didn't listen to you."

Ben couldn't believe it - there was a slight grin on Adam's face.

"Pa, standing in the corner no longer bothers me. The corner is on the side of the fourth graders, and Tom reads those tasks so loud I can hear them and then calculate the result in my head. Mr. Fletcher doesn't realize that Tom does this especially for me. In the beginning he admonished Tom therefore, but Tom told him that he's just so stupid and would only understand the tasks if he can speak them out loud to himself. In fact, Mr. Fletcher accepted this. For him all the kids are stupid, you see?"

Ben wondered what kind of a teacher this man was. He decided to ride into the city on Monday and to have a talk to the school board about Mr. Fletcher. "Adam, before you're heading for school, I have to tell you something. I feel really sorry that I didn't have enough time for you during the recent months. And that I didn't listen to and believe in you. I would give anything if I could turn back time and our talks in the barn would never have happened. Once a week I want you to have an afternoon just doing whatever you want to. If you want to meet up with Koko, you can do so and you needn't take Hoss with you."

A cry of indignation came from Hoss almost in an instant. "Wanna go to Koko! Eat cake!"

Ben just thought what would become of Hoss when he kept on thinking about food only. "Hoss, if your brother has done his chores at the ranch during the rest of the week, and I really don't need him, he will go to Koko with you."

Adam couldn't believe what just had happened. Was he asleep and still dreaming? His father was as he used to be! Adam looked at him and just hoped it wasn't a dream.

"Thanks, Pa!"

"Yes, and on Saturday we all will make a trip and have a look what our new home actually looks like."

The nicest thing Ben saw now was his son being happy again. "And now, son, you have to hurry up, if you don't want to be late for school. And don't worry 'bout Mr. Fletcher! I'll see to it next week."

"Yes, Sir!"

With a broad grin on his face Adam stood up and put his jacket on.

"Adam, maybe you'd like to think about how our ranch should be called! We need a name for our home!"

"Pa, I don't need to think about about it, I've already got a name!"

Ben pushed back his chair and walked over to his son. "Oh son, now I'm curious!"

"Ponderosa!"

"Ponderosa?"

"Amarok has told me to honor nature and to be thankful for what she gives us. That's why I think the best way to thank nature is, to name the ranch after that of what it is build of – Ponderosa Pines!" And Pa, when we cut down the next tree, I would like to say thanks by saying the following words,

'Look at me, my friend! I've come to ask you for your clothing. You give us everything we need - your wood, your bark, your branches and the fibers of your roots. I have come to ask you for this – donator of long life, for I want to make a home out of you. I beg you, friend, do not be angry, and not to hold against me what I'm going to do. And I ask you, friend, tell to your friends, why I have come to you. Protect me and give me shelter, my friend.'

Ben was sure. Not only he would learn a lot from Koko's family in the near future, but how they could arrive here in Nevada with heart and soul.

"Thus it shall be! Our home shall have the name 'Ponderosa'."


	4. Chapter 4

"You're so quiet today?"

Koko and Adam lay in the grass in front of her parents' house and looked into the sky. "I'm just a little tired. This morning I had to assist Pa when we branded the calves."

"Your father is satisfied with the animals he bought?"

"I think so. It seems they are all in good health."

Now, for more than a year Adam was in Nevada, and at the end of winter his father had bought the first cattle. Much had happened in that last year. The first few months Adam hadn't felt comfortable here and he wished back the times when they were travelling with their waggon. Only after he had found a friend in Koko, and his father paid more attention to him, things changed. And his initial problems at school were solved by getting a new teacher. Mr. Fletcher had to leave when his father found out that he wasn't a teacher at all. Furthermore, up to this time there has been no school council in the small town of Virginia City, which had meant that anyone who wanted to could do the job of a teacher. Without hesitation, Adam's father had founded a school council. He also had asked Koko's father if he wanted to join there, but Amarok had refused. He said he didn't need to talk for hours about everything, like the white man likes to do. If there was a problem, he'd act, otherwise he'd be a part of the problem.

As often as possible, Adam visited Koko at home. He felt very comfortable with her family. Amarok taught him how to respect and honor nature. He said, only then his father's dream could last forever. Because a frog doesn't drink up the water of the pond in which he lives.

Sometimes Adam didn't understand what Koko's father wanted to tell him. Then he had to think about it for some days, but in the end he sometimes had to ask Koko, what could be the meaning behind the words. Some of it Adam passed along to his own father and he was quite pleased that his father tried to implement some of them.

He loved Koko's mother Rita as if she were his mother. Adam addressed her with her Indian name like all the others. With Aponi he didn't have to be strong all the time. He could tell her when he was afraid of something, or when work on the ranch was getting too rough. She then took him in her arms, humming softly a little song. She said nothing. She just kept him in her arms.

On the long trip to Nevada Adam had overheard a conversation between his father and another man. His father had told the man that one cannot get ahead in life with lament and tears. Only someone strong can reach his goal. This is why it started, that Adam was trying to be strong, as not to disappoint his father.

Mostly Adam took Hoss to the farm. Just like him, his little brother was happy here, too. Then Hoss played outside the house and listened to the stories of Aponi. After this year, Adam didn't want to leave Nevada any more. The more he learned about this country, the more he loved it.

"Koko, did your father get new horses?"

"Yes, they have captured them yesterday. Just go over there. He'd surely like to show them to you."

Adam turned over on his belly, then watched Amarok and the horses, and again Hoss. "Would you take care of Hoss again? At the moment he runs away whenever he sees an animal somewhere. Recently I'd been looking for him for over an hour!"

"Sure, go ahead! I'm gonna play with him."

Adam walked to the paddock, where Amarok had the horses and sat on the fence. "Come, Wynono."

Adam still had a grin on his face when Amarok called him so. Already in winter he had got this name from the Indians. He told him, since he was a part of his family now, he also needed an Indian name. From that day on Adam was Wynono what meant "the firstborn". Adam had learned from Koko, that every Indian name had a meaning. Her name meant "The Night". She had got it from her parents, because she had hair that was as blacker than night. Adam jumped down from the fence and cautiously approached to Amarok and the horses.

"Wynono, do you remember what I recently told you about the animals?"

"I shall learn to communicate with an animal, like I do it with my little brother. I should watch it, see how it lives, and tryi to feel its dreams. Then it will give me love, but also his strength."

"So take this horse and show me that you understood my words."

In disbelief Adam looked from the horse to Amarok. "But it's still wild! How can I tame it just with words?"

The Indian put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Wynono, again you watch this horse but with your eyes in your head. Look at it through the eyes of your heart."

Amarok looked at him briefly and then left the paddock. Adam stood there and didn't know what to do. As Koko's father didn't return, he sat back down on the fence, watching the horse. After a while Koko sat down beside him.

"You don't know what to do, right?"

"No! Sometimes I do not understand your father. How can I tame a wild horse without breaking it? What am I supposed to do now?"

„Adam, he doesn't expect anything of you. He wants you to learn to respect animals as well as humans and the rest of nature. The horse shouldn't be only a useful or a pack animal for you. It should be a friend and a companion for you."

"I've understood that, but I don't know how to break it with words only!"

"You shall not only work with words, but as you have learned to thank the trees, you should as well honor the horses."

Adam was thinking about her words. And so the next problem turned up. "Koko, even if I gain the trust of this horse, my father will never allow me to ride a wild pony."

"If you do everything right, you won't have many problems in breaking the horse. My father wants you to take the horse home, and then one day to bring it back to him sitting on its back!"

"Will you help me?"

Koko laughed. "That's what I just did."

Adam jumped off the fence and tried to look angry, but without success. "Thanks a lot!"

He took his horse, mounted, took the other horse on the rope and led it to the house. "Come on Hoss, we have to go home."

They said goodbye and rode back to the Ponderosa.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was Saturday and Adam has been working all morning with his father in the pasture to build fences. "Adam, on Monday I need to go to Carson city for a week. If we cannot finish work today, I want you to finish work here next week after school. During this time Hop Sing will take care of Hoss."

Adam groaned inwardly. Even now he could see that they wouldn't get ready, but he desperately wanted to work with Amaroks pony during the next week.

During the last weeks it had gone quite well with the horse and so he wanted to try to saddle the pony. "Yes, Sir!"

"What do you think? Should we get two more bulls for breeding?"

Adam thought what to tell his father. On the one hand he liked that his father asked him for advice more and more often, on the other hand he had no idea how to breed a herd. He was only just ten! „Do you think that herd is going to grow so fast that we can sell some of the animals as soon as next year?"

"We have to, son. Only this way the ranch will grow."

"Then we should do it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

His father was gone the third day now. After school Adam always had been riding quickly to the pasture and had worked on the fences. Then he hurried back home to work with the horse.

Today he wanted to do it! He wanted to saddle the horse. But as he still felt respect for the animal, he asked George, the foreman, to help him. "Boy, does your Pa know what you're up to?"

"He knows that I'm working with this horse!"

George knew that Adam hadn't told his father that he wanted to break the horse today. He looked the boy from top to bottom. He had worked for more than half a year on the Ponderosa and surely had wondered right from the start how much his boss involved the boy in the ranch's work. But he had also seen Adam's strong will, and that he already took over chores as the cowboys, who worked for his father. At Adam's physic George could see that the boy was already very strong for his age due to the hard work he had to take care of. So he had faith that Adam could handle the pony.

"OK, boy!" I know you've been watching us enough, but think everything over carefully. I don't want to tell your father that you've been trampled to death by this horse."

Adam nodded and put the gloves on. In the meantime George and another cowboy got the horse ready for Adam. The cowboy watched the foreman aghast. "George, are you out of your mind? You can't let him do that! Cartwright will get your hide, if something will happen to Adam!"

"Mmm. Don't underestimate the boy. I've seen how he has built fences, and how he handles the axe. He's got strong arms and knows how to control a horse."

"He's ten years old!"

"I know that well, and I wouldn't put him on one of our horses. The horse of the Indians he has well prepared. I don't believe that it's going to be a tough ride!".

"If this turns out bad we just can pack up and go home!"

Adam went to the men to tell them he'd be ready. Slowly he sat up in the saddle. "Boy, remember tight grip and legs to the flanks."

"Yep!"

Before Adam gave the signal to open the gate, he leaned to the horse's neck and apologized for what would come right now. Adam thanked the horse for the confidence it had given him so far. Then he sat up straight, took a deep breath and gave the signal. The gate opened, and the horse dashed forward. Adam had no time to think! The horse bucked through the corral. He tightened his grip, trying to bring the horse to a halt with a tight pressure to its flanks. When Adam realized that his strength subsided slowly, the horse luckily calmed down. Carefully, he reduced the pressure until the horse stood still. Adam had no idea how long the ride lasted, but it mustn't have lasted only one second longer. Bathed in sweat, he dismounted. His legs were shaking. With a bottle in his hand George went to Adam.

"Here, drink some water, boy. You've earned it. "

Adam was still trying to breathe easy. The foreman put his arm around Adam and looked to the horse of Amarok. "Boy, do you realize that you haven't done no favors for yourself with this ride?" Adam gave him a questioning look, "Why?"

"Well, as much a hotshot as you are, you will be helping us here within three years at the very latest. Then I expect that you break four or five horses a day." He picked up Adam's hat, and put it on his head. "Can be proud of yourself, boy!"

Adam took another big gulp of water and then led the horse to the paddock.

The next day Adam rode to the farm with Amarok's horse. Koko's father stood in front of his house and waited until Adam had dismounted. "I bring your horse back, Amarok."

"Did you work alone with him?"

"Yes I did. All the time."

"Wynono, you know why I gave you this task?"

"No!"

"I've noticed that you care for horses. But I have also realized that you were afraid of them. Because of their ferocity, their desire for freedom. That's why you should learn how to lose that fear. Wynono, when you talk with the animals, you get to know them. If you do not talk with them, you don't get to know them. What you don't know, you fear. What you fear, you destroy! And this isn't only true for animals. Are you still afraid?"

"Nope!"

"So go into the house. Koko's already waiting for you."

Adam felt real good and was even proud of himself. But when his father would come back tomorrow and find out about this, he knew he was due to muck out the barn all alone for the next few weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

"Koko, watch out! A fish has taken the bait!"

Koko calmly pulled out a fishing line and took the fish off the hook. "Adam, you're just losing your patience again."

„Of course, dad-burnit! We cannot catch as many fish as Hoss throws back into the water."

In an instant Hoss had returned to Koko, picked up the fish and threw him back into the creek. "Oh my God, Hoss! Stop that nonsense! This way we will never take any fish back home. Next time I won't take you with me to go fishing."

Adam was slowly going mad at Hoss and at Koko, too. For about two hours, they'd been sitting on the riverbanks and every fish was thrown back into the water.

Hoss started crying. "The fish shall swim in the water. His mom is looking for him."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Hoss, the fish don't have a mom and dad. Nobody's gonna miss him!"

Koko stood up and comforted Hoss. "Hoss, it's alright! You've understood that there are days when the fish wants to go back into the water. It's important that you never forget to listen to the animals."

Adam had to pull himself together in order not to yell at his friend.

"And now? I promised Hop Sing to bring fish for supper. Should I tell him, today all the fish wanted to return to their mommy?"

Koko turned to Adam. "What's wrong with you today? You've been in bad mood all day long! Did you forget everything you've learned from us? You shouldn't judge whether something is good or bad without questioning your heart. In twenty years Hoss won't remember the fish you ate for supper, but that his older brother took him to go fishing, and that this day no mom had to mourn for her child."

Adam groaned. Koko was so very important for him. She was his best friend. He loved her like a sister. But on days like this, he had no desire to listen to her wise old sayings, even less to live in accordance with them. "Koko, we are talking about fish."

"We are talking about living beings who have a soul, too. Isn't it better to see the smile on your brother's face than to bring home the dead fish?"

Adam grabbed his things and took Hoss at hand. "Oh, c'mon Koko, today I don't feel like you and your Indians sayings. Quick Hoss, we've got to go home."

"Want to stay with Koko!"

"But not me!"

Adam put Hoss on his horse, mounted and rode off.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Those were the last days of summer vacation and soon school would start again. His father did grant Adam these last few days off. Therefore he could do what he wanted to all day long. He rode to the creek and sat down on a rock to throw stones into the water. He still felt very sorry about the yesterday's argument with Koko. Adam knew he wasn't fair to her. But after a talk with his father yesterday morning he only felt rage and just didn't know how to deal with.

"Are you trying now to punish the creek because a storm was raging in your heart yesterday?"

Adam looked up. Next to him stood Amarok. "Please don't tell me that I'm causing pain to the water as I throw stones into it!"

Koko's father sat down next to Adam. "That you don't, but you'll cause a stir in the water. The creek cannot take its rest, thus it isn't in balance. Just like you, Wynono! Koko told me you've lost your balance. Quiet, silence within you, which is the absolute balance of body, mind and soul. Wynono, the man who keeps the unity of his being, remains calm and unshaken for ever amid the storms of existence. On the tree not a single leaf is moving, on the surface of the pond no wave is glistening. For those who know this it's the ideal attitude to go through life."

Adam shrugged. "But I can't! I cannot always keep calm and go through life with a wise saying. If this anger is in me, I have to let it out!"

"Of course, you can do that! Joy and anger, lust and mourning inhabit us in everlasting changes, just like day and night, life and death. But you should ask yourself, Wynono, why is your anger so strong that you're willing hurt others. What's the cause of your anger?"

Adam looked at the water, wondering why he felt so angry about his father. Without looking up, he said very softly. "Guess it's the fear that makes me so angry."

"Do you want to tell me about the fear?"

"Yesterday my father told me that he has to go to New Orleans soon. He will be gone for a few months. During this time I shall take care of the Ponderosa. Of course, George and Hop Sing are there, but he said to me, I'd be responsible for everything." Adam took a deep breath. "Pa laughed and said that I should be proud that he already got so much trust in me."

Adam raised his head and looked anxiously at Amarok. "I've never been separated from my father for so long and I've never been in charge of such a task. What if I do something wrong? If something happens to Hoss? He can't make me to take all the responsibility!"

"What fear do you feel most? The fear that you'll be without your father on the Ponderosa for so long or the fear of responsibility?"

Again Adam reconsidered to find out which fear was stronger. "I guess it's the responsibility. If there's a problem, and I find no solution."

Amarok took a big stone in his hand. "Wynono, if this stone would be even bigger, and in front of you on the street, what would you do? - Turn around?"

"No, of course not! I'd walk around it. He's no obstacle for me."

„Just like the creek! If it encounters on a rock, the river never flows backward. It flows smoothly around it, or it makes a jump into a thousand glittering drops. Wynono, you have to learn to dance with your obstacles, if you want to move on. Don't go backwards! Observe - and you'll find the best way. "

"It always sounds so easy with you."

"Think of the horse, that I've given you. In the beginning you even thought you couldn't make it, but then you took advantage of the moment of silence and listened to yourself. You've pushed aside all the useless thoughts and found your way."

"Your words haven't convinced me completely, Amarok."

"I'm not telling you that it'll be easy for you! You wear many stones on your shoulder, and I can only hope that you're going to cope with this burden a bit better. I can't do anything to ease your burden. But always remember, you're not alone. Our house is your house."

Amarok and Adam stood up. "I'm gonna make it, I promise."

"You shall not promise to me. You have to promise to yourself. Because it's your way."

"I can do it."

"Wynono, next time when you feel this anger again, remember, tantrums are as sharp as arrows flying out of the shooter's hands to his own very surprise. The warrior who got the bow of wisdom, shoots intentional, deliberate arrows, without letting himself being carried away by emotions, without leaving room for the confusion that arises from fear. Turn them outbursts in a song of victory over yourself. I think you should come with me and apologize to Koko."

"I will do that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ben was sitting at the breakfast table with his son. Today, he would go to New Orleans and for the first time leave his sons for so long. But Ben was sure that Adam would have no problems, and if Hoss might be longing for him, his brother would surely comfort him.

Ben didn't worry about the ranch. Adam knew the procedures well, and he had shown him lately, how to take care of the books. Furthermore Hop Sing would have an eye on his boys. Ben was proud of Adam that he could rely on him so well. Ben thought about what would have been if Hoss was his first-born. Then many things wouldn't have been so easy. Hoss lived in his own world. He loved nature and animals. He would forget everything around if a motherless kitten ran into him.

"Adam, do you still have any questions?"

"No, Sir!"

His father left the table and took his bag. Adam followed him and then both stood in the living room and looked at each other. "I'll be back soon, Adam. You'll see, time will pass quickly."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Hugs to Hoss from me when he wakes up."

"Will do so, Pa!"

Ben picked up his bag and put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Take good care of the Ponderosa. Bye, son!"

Then Ben left the house.

Suddenly alone Adam stood in the living room. Nothing was to be heard but the ticking of the grandfather clock. It was Saturday morning and he already felt lonely. Outside the sun was shining and it was going to be a warm day. His father wouldn't be back before fall.

For Adam it felt like an endless long time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Adam, do you and Hoss want to come to us this afternoon? My mother made some cakes."

School was just over and both ran to their horses. "We could do that. Today I don't have much to do on the Ponderosa. Most I've done yesterday."

"Oh, that's just great! Shall we make a race to the beaver creek?"

"First I have to go to the post office. If you come with me, feel free to lose against me thereafter!"

"Dream on!" Both took their horses by the reins and walked the short distance to the post office.

"Adam, does your father come back home soon?"

"Yep. In about two weeks, he should be back. I can't wait to see him again. And I'm really glad that he's back before the next payday. Every time I've been pretty nervous when George and I picked the money from the bank, when I had to get all the envelopes ready and when I had to add all the expenses in the book. It was a lot of money, and I was somehow afraid of a miscalculation."

"As if you could work out anything wrong! I think you could be woken up of deep sleep, and you knew the right answer in an instant. "

"Yes, but it's different when you have so much real money in hand. "I don't want to ride home once more with all this money with me. That's a strange feeling."

"Why didn't your father give George a proxy so that you don't have to go to fetch the money?"

"My Pa wants me to know all about them transactions as early as possible, so I could take over if he is not here or in case something might happened to him. In the near future he needs to go on trips more and more often to sign necessary contracts."

Koko stopped and looked at her friend. "Honestly, Adam? I do not want to swap with you. I get the feeling that your father somehow forgot that you're still a kid."

"Hey, I'm going to be eleven soon!"

Koko snorted with laughter. "Soon is not the word I thought to use! There are still a few months to go."

Both went on smiling. "Can you look after my horse? I'll be right back."

"Of course!"

Adam came out again with a stack of mail and took a quick look at all the letters, before he wanted to pack them in the saddlebag. He hesitated. One letter was addressed directly to him. He read the sender with a smile. "It's from Pa! He wrote me a letter!"

He didn't want to wait until home, so he opened it immediately. There wasn't much in it, but what was written therein made Adam sad. Koko saw that there were no good news and came to his side. "Adam, what's going on?"

He closed his eyes and thought of Amarok's words about anger and arrows. It took Adam a lot of strength to transform his outburst in a song of victory over himself! "He's staying another month in New Orleans."

„Why?"

"He doesn't write. Only that he's got a surprise for me and Hoss. But you know what, Koko? He can keep it to himself!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Adam, we can go to Koko today?"

"No, Hoss. I still have to sort the mail and have a talk with George later about some things. But tomorrow, we can go for a visit to Koko."

Hoss sat on the floor in the living room, playing with a wooden horse. "Adam, I'm bored."

"Hoss, I'm almost done here, then you come along when I go to George. OK?"

Hoss grumbled.

For three days Hop Sing has been at his sick cousin in town, and Adam was about to get problems, how to do the work at the ranch, when no one else could take care of Hoss. He even couldn't go to school the past few days.

He heard a buggy driving into the yard. "Hoss, go and have a look! We got visitors."

Hoss ran to the door and yanked it open. "ADAM! It's Pa!"

Although Adam has still been mad at his father nothing could stop him now. He heard Hoss welcome their father. Adam stepped out the door.

"Adam, my son. I hope you're well?"

Ben hugged Adam. "Boys, did I promise you a surprise?"

Ben turned to the buggy and helped a young lady out of the carriage. "Adam, Hoss, may I introduce your new mother? Marie and I got married in New Orleans."


	6. Chapter 6

"That's my mum?"

Ben knelt in front of Hoss. "Yes Hoss, this is your new mother. Come and welcome her!"

Hoss looked at his father, then over to Marie, ran to her instantly and hugged her. Adam would have liked best to call out to him that this wasn't his mother. However, he was glad that Amarok had taught him to keep his anger short, and so being able to not shoot arrows immediately. But some well-considered arrows, he would certainly shoot. His father couldn't honestly believe that he would say "Mother" to a completely unknown woman. How could he just bring some woman without saying anything beforehand. Why hadn't he mentioned this in his letter? He already had a new mother, Aponi. He didn't need Marie!

"Adam, don't you want to welcome your mother?"

Slowly Adam looked up at his father. "She's not my mother."

That single sentence did it. Ben's good mood vanished and in a serious voice he talked to his son. "Adam, Marie is my wife now and she will live with us on the Ponderosa and thus she is your mother now. I expect you to welcome her accordingly. You do understand me, son?"

Adam didn't back away from his father's gaze. He found it hard to follow his father's command. He had been here the whole time all alone with Hoss. He had to make many decisions, and yet, from one minute to another, he was supposed to obey again? Ben's voice took on a threatening tone. „Adam!"

He still had no intention to go to Marie. Since she came to him. „Bonjour, Adam!" She shook his hand. „Nice to meet you!"

He was surprised. Her voice was soft and had a slight accent. Slowly he took her hand. "Good day, Ma'am!"

"ADAM, you gonna pick up our bags now and then we will have a talk about your manners."

"Yes, Sir!"

Adam ran to the buggy in order to pick up the stuff. Marie put her hand on Ben's arm. "Mon Amour, give him time. He has to get to know me first, and you can't really expect him to love me dearly right away!" She looked at him and smiled. "Ben, he's no longer a little boy like Hoss, and we pretty took him by surprise with our news."

Ben took a deep breath and looked at Adam, who unloaded the buggy. "Maybe you're right! We've just arrived. I only thought he would be more glad, to have a mother again."

"Adam and I will make it. Just wait and see."

The smile returned to Ben's face. "So come on in and have a look at your new home."

He put his arm around her and they both went into the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam rode to Koko's home as fast as he could. He desperately needed to talk to her now. First, his father didn't want to let him go, because they hadn't seen each other for such a long time. But Marie had whispered into Ben's ear, and so he changed his mind. His horse hadn't come to a halt as he already jumped out of the saddle.

"Koko? ... Koko, you're home?"

"Wynono, which storm has come over you?" With concern Koko's father looked at him. "Did something happen at your home?"

"Yes, I have to see Koko now! I have to talk to her!"

"Wynono, try to control the storm within you. A talk shouldn't be started quickly and in haste. Starting a conversation is a time of common silent reflection. Silence has a greater force than the word. Take your time to look at the sky. Search figures in the clouds. Hear the blowing of the wind and touch the cold water to cool you off. Go with quiet and careful steps, then the storm will turn into a slight wind, and you will find your way."

For Adam it was no longer hard to understand and accept Amarok's advices. The months without his father had changed him. Often Koko's father had helped him with his words, whenever he thought he had a big problem, or if he couldn't cope with his feelings. The longer his father was gone, the easier ranch work went. The Ponderosa ranch hands accepted him, even though he was so young, and George had taught him many things that he needed to know in order to work on a ranch. Adam checked his breathing and tried to find his inner silence.

"Thanks, Amarok!"

The Indian smiled. "Wynono, you're like a wild horse, but from day to day you learn better to live in harmony with nature. Koko's behind the house helping Aponi with the laundry."

Adam ran behind the house. "Koko, look, we got company."

Koko just hung up a sheet and peered around it. "Adam, what are you doing here? And where's Hoss?"

"Hoss is at home. My father came back today."

Aponi looked at Adam questioningly. "And so what are you doing here, young man? Shouldn't you be at the Ponderosa? With your father?"

Adam put his hands in his pockets and looked down. Aponi put the clothes aside, went to Adam and took him in her arms. After a while she broke the embrace and looked at him and wondered. She knew Adam for so long and no matter what had happened, she never had seen him with tears in his eyes. "Wynono, do you want to talk to me about it?"

"Pardon me! I know crying is no solution."

"It is no solution, but the soul would have no rainbow if the eyes should not cry. You both sit down at the table, I'll get something to drink and then you tell us what's going on."

Adam wiped away the tears and with Koko he sat down at the table. After Aponi was back, he told them about Marie. "Don't you feel happy for your father? He has found someone whose heart beats in the same rhythm of love like his. This is something beautiful, Wynono! I hope that one day you will find this kind of happiness, too."

"But my heart doesn't beat in her rhythm. I don't want any new mother, and I won't say "Mom" to her."

"I understand the fact that you don't want to call her "Mum", but why don't you want to have a new mother?"

He hesitated. It was not easy for him to talk about these feelings. "What if I like her and she dies also? Like Hoss' mother and mine! I never want to feel this pain in me again and I never want to see my father suffering so much!"

Koko moved closer to Adam and touched his hand. "Adam, death is part of life, as there is day and night. In fall, nature dies, only to bloom in spring in new splendor."

"But night and day are coming back. Inger didn't come back and neither did my mother."

"But they are also not far." She put her hand on his heart. "They are here. They are in your mind. We say death is not the end. You live on in everything that surrounds you. In the trees. In the clouds. In the air. Its the soul that comes with the wind and ruffles the surface of the lakes. Only if you're forgotten your soul vanishes."

"And what about the pain?"

Koko looked at her mother. "The pain of death is part of the circle of life, too. Without it we wouldn't know the joy of birth. Wynono, don't you always think about the future. Enjoy the moment! Give Marie a chance. She may never take the place in your heart as your mother or Inger did, but she may be a good friend to you. And who knows. Perhaps she will manage to open your father's eyes that besides Hoss he has another kid and not a man."

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At supper Ben told of his experiences on the journey and where he had met Marie. Hoss never left Marie's side for a second. Adam listened to his father and looked to Marie now and then. He had planned to be kind to her and to help her feel at home here. But he wouldn't call her "Mum", even if that meant that his father would be mad at him. Supper was over and Adam looked at Hoss.

"Come on, little buddy, let's go upstairs, and I'll take you to bed."

"No! Mum shall take me to bed!"

Ben was so happy when he heard that, although he was already aware that there would be no problems with Hoss and Marie. With Adam he had not been sure, but that he'd rejected Marie completely had surprised him nevertheless. He looked at his eldest. He had changed during his absence. Not only that he had grown but his complete attitude and his way of talking to others was different now. Adam exuded a self-confidence that took Ben by surprise. Then he looked back at Hoss and Marie. "That's a good idea. So, Adam and I can talk about what happened in my absence, and we can have a look at the books."

Hoss was overjoyed at the whole day. He quickly told his father good night and then hugged Adam. "You're not mad at me, Adam, that I go with Marie?"

"Of course not, Hoss. Sleep well, buddy!"

Ben put his arm around Adam's shoulder and walked him over to the desk. Since the Ponderosa still stands, I got the feeling you got along well. Did you have any problems?"

"No, Sir. We only had to hire three more hands."

"How come that George needed more men?"

"I noticed that George was lacking men to drive the cattle to the high pasture before winter. I then asked him, and he agreed with me."

"So then George has listened to you?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Did you make any other decisions, that I should know?"

Adam swallowed. He had made a decision, of which he knew his father wouldn't be very fond of at first. "I had heard that the old Baker wants to sell his property so I took an option to purchase the land."

With a horrified glance Ben looked at his son. "You did WHAT?"

"Pa, would you please not yell at me, but only listen?"

"Adam, careful how you're talking to me!"

"You have charged me with the responsibility for the ranch, and I know that the next year you also want to sell timber besides cattle. At the moment Baker's property has got the best timber stock around here. So I couldn't wait for you. I had to act right away."

"And how do you think to effect payment? We'll sell the first cattle not before next year. Where do I get the money for more land? What's gotten into you? How can you do something like this, or in other words, how can Baker negotiate with a kid? I'd thought he was smarter!"

Adam didn't lower his head as before, even his voice didn't get more quiet. "Now, in your eyes I'm only a kid again? I am wondering, why you left a kid alone with the responsibility for the ranch."

"ADAM, HOW DARE YOU TO TALK TO ME THIS WAY! DO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BARN ON THE FIRST DAY OF MY RETURN, SO YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IS A PROPER BEHAVIOR?"

Adam took some papers and gave them to his father. "This is the preliminary contract, I have worked out with Baker. Of course, it is not valid until you give your consent for. Since I am a kid, I can sign no contracts or buy land, even Baker knows that. But he also knows that you work hard on your dream. That's why he has agreed to this offer because he trusts you. So he doesn't want the entire sum at once, he only wants a small down payment. But that's all in the contract." He looked at this father with self-confidence. "I'm on my way to the barn!"

Adam left his father standing at the desk and left the house.


	7. Chapter 7

Ben stood at the desk, the papers in his hand and watched at his son, as he left the house. He couldn't ask him to stop, he was too stunned about what just had happened. "Ben, what happened? Why do you shout so loudly! Almost the whole house is shaking!"

Marie stood on the stairs and looked at Ben with horrified eyes. "What's about Adam? Why did he say, he's going to the barn?"

Ben's eyes looked from the papers to Marie and then to the door. "He got a purchase option for a piece of land."

Marie came down the stairs to her husband and looked at the contract. "Why did Adam do that? Tell me about the property!"

"Next year I wanna try to get into the timber business. Although we've good timberland on our land, Mr. Baker's poperty's the best that's currently around here, and Adam knew that. But he still can't take a purchase option on a piece of land without speaking to me about it first. He's still a kid! Adam still can't have an overview of such decisions in their full extent, he lacks maturity and experience!"

Marie shook her head and looked at Ben in disbelief. „Ben, are you listening to yourself right now? Since you told me of your sons and the Ponderosa, I wondered how you could leave Adam here all alone with Hoss. Was there no one who could take care of the boys?"

„Hop Sing was here!"

„Was Hop Sing here during the last days?"

Ben gave no answer. "When leaving you've given your son not only responsibility for Hoss, but also for the ranch. Rather than being glad that he's done everything so well, as it seems, you start yelling at him! " She took Ben's hands. "I don't know your son well, but what you've told me about him, and what I've seen of him today, you really should be proud of him and further his talent and not disregard it."

„I don't understand what you mean!"

She smiled at him with love. "Mon Amour, you have a very special son who admires you and will do anything for you, so that you can realize your dream. For a very long time he was here alone, and he has taken his duties very seriously, as it seems. As he has realized that the property of Mr. Baker will be very important to you, he has acted as an adult. Ben, if you'd been here hearing about the sale, what would you've done? I don't think that you would have watched another one buy it, if the property's really as good as you say. Am I right?"

Her husband stayed silent and exhaled loudly. Then he went to the window behind his desk and looked at the barn. "I would've tried to get the property as well. But he's only ten years old! He cannot just go on and negotiate."

"He must have been so convincing that Mr. Baker has even agreed about a preliminary contract with him. You give him tasks that other boys of his age can't even cope with. You ask very much of him, Ben!"

Ben turned to her and his eyes were very serious. "This is a tough and rough land, so my sons have to learn early that life isn't easy here."

„Both?"

"You can't compare Adam with Hoss. Adam has never been so dreamy as Hoss is."

"Today I saw Adam in the late afternoon and evening. He is an exceptional boy. He can express himself very well and is refined for his age, and if he already has the foresight for important transactions, you should praise and support him. This way he'll certainly be a good partner to you and the ranch in future. But if you only give him the feeling that he's done something wrong, he'll follow a different path sooner or later." She pointed to the desk, without looking away from him. "Did you check the accounts? Did he make a mistake? Did he spent money without a good reason?"

Ben opened the records and scanned them briefly, but as he had expected, he couldn't find any mistake. He knew that Adam was very good with numbers. "It seems, he has kept the records correctly."

"And so what has he done to deserve you shouting at him and maybe even a tanning? With this purchase option you don't lose nothing. You can go to Mr. Baker and tell him that you've got no interest in his property, so he might sell it to someone else." Marie slowly walked to her husband and cuddled up close to him. "Ben, he had a rough day today. First we surprised him with a new mother and then you started yelling at him. For all his intelligence you mustn't forget that he's still a kid."

Ben held Marie tightly for a while and thought about her words. Then he let go and kissed her. "I'm going to the barn."

She smiled at him. "And I'll go to Hoss and tell him that his brother's still alive." Marie went upstairs and turned again to Ben. "Mon Amour, when we'll have further children, I hope they are girls. Because I've found out rather quickly, this house is lacking some femininity."

Ben looked up at his wife and grinned. He was so glad he had met her. She's already enriched his life in so many ways. He opened the front door and made his way to the barn.

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Adam had been quite a while in the barn, waiting for his father and wondering why his father never could listen to him. Although Amarok would tell him again to control the storm within, he couldn't help but kick a bucket. Adam had been so happy that his father was finally home, and now the day would end in the barn. Why couldn't his father not even show how proud he was of him. He always tried to do everything right but then again he got the feeling that everything he did was wrong. Why should he even try? Adam thought about returning to the house again, when the door of the barn opened and his father came in. Adam stood upright and tried to find peace and silence in himself, to balance his soul. He knew the fruits of silence are self-control, true courage, endurance and patience. He would come through whatever might await him.

His father sat on a saddle rack and looked at him. „How are you, Adam?"

What did he want to hear from him? „So so."

Ben looked at his son more closely and wondered where time had gone so fast. Adam had just been this little boy who tried to hold the reins of the wagon for the first time, and now he would soon turn eleven. And what was it, Ben had actually promised last year? To take better care of Adam and Hoss and spend more time with them! But instead he had repeated his old mistakes, and charged Adam with too much responsibility.

"Sorry, that I had to stay longer in New Orleans than I intended to, and that I didn't write in the letter that Marie and I got married. I thought you had just to be as happy as I am."

"I am really happy for you, but when I came out the door, I only expected to see you."

"I cannot undo the mistake I made, Adam. I only can ask that you accept Marie as your mother."

The truth is always worth it to be told. That was what Adam came to mind. He used to live for so long with the wisdom of the Indians, and they had helped him in many situations. Adam had decided to apply them to his father, too, even if it might not be easy. "Pa, please do not ask me to call her Mum. I do not know Marie, yet. I want to, but if I am to call her Mum, now, it wouldn't come from my heart. It would be wrong."

Again Ben realized how much his son had changed during the last months. Before his trip to New Orleans Adam certainly wouldn't have talked to him like now and earlier in the house. "Take the time you need, but I want you to talk to Marie about it. She shouldn't think that you don't respect and accept her. She's part of our family now."

"I'll do that, Pa!"

"Adam, I shouldn't have shouted at you like this before. I can't really tell you what was the exact reason. I mean…." Ben searched for the right words. "... .How did you come up with the idea to talk to Mr. Baker about the land?"

His son shrugged. "That was just a coincidence. I heard some men talking about it on the post office, and so I rode to Mr. Baker and asked him. I knew what you're up to next year and if I had waited till your return, the Baker's property certainly would have been sold."

Ben reached for his son's arm and stood up. "I know, Adam, you think you are too old for it, but not me." He took Adam in a warm embrace and held him tight. „I'm proud of you, son!"

What Ben made happy in that moment was, that Adam didn't try to withdraw from his embrace, as he usually did, but rather leaned more into him. Without letting go of his son, he kept on talking.

"Adam, I promise you, I will never leave you alone for so long. While I will also need to go on business trips in future, Marie will be there and take care of you and Hoss. You'll also have more time to spend with Koko because you no longer have to watch out for Hoss. But you still have one obligation left, Adam." Adam took a step back from his father. "You have to complete the contract with Mr. Baker. Tomorrow I'm going to pick you up from school and we both ride out to him."

With a broad grin on his face Adam looked at his father. „Yes, Sir!"

"Well, so tomorrow you can ask Koko whether she'd like to join our little celebration next week. Marie and I want to invite some neighbors, to have a little party due to our wedding. I'd also like to invite Amarok and his wife, but I know he won't come; but perhaps he will allow Koko to stay overnight with us."

"Thanks Pa. I'll ask her tomorrow. "

"So let's go over to the house and sit a bit at the fireplace with Marie."

He put his arm on his son's shoulder and they both left the barn.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'll tell Mr. Conner that you just talk like savages again!"

Loren stood in front of Adam and Koko yelling at them hysterically. "Loren, you can tell Mr. Conner whatever you want to. School's out and Adam and I can talk in any language we want to. You're just mad that you don't understand us and therefore can't tell your parents about it immediately."

"I don't care what you two always talk about. But this'll be over soon anyway. My father said, you won't go to school here for much longer, and Adam's father won't watch his son fooling around with Indians for much longer. He has to think of his reputation."

"Come on, Koko. We don't need to listen to the talk of Loren."

Adam took his girlfriend by the arm and walked with her to their horses. "Let go of me, Adam."

She pulled her arm away and pushed Adam slightly aside. "Hey, Koko, you don't take Loren and her chatter seriously, do you?"

She pushed Adam with both hands against his chest so that he stumbled a few steps backwards. "Of course I've to take it seriously! You know exactly what's going on at the moment, and you really should think about whether you want to be friends with me still."

He was worried. He rarely saw Koko so upset. "Koko, I don't have to explain to you something about thoughtless arrows and storms, you should control, do I?"

Tears streamed down her face. Gently Adam took her hand and pulled her close, to give her a warm embrace. "Koko, a friend comes like a spring breeze with the scent of flowers and the soft light of the sky. He'll stand on the threshold of your soul, always caring and sympathetic. I'll always be your friend. No matter what is or is going to happen. I promise you!"

She punched him with her fist slightly against his chest. "Adam, you surely talk too much to my father!" A shadow fell on her face. "Adam, you can't promise anything! You don't know yet what will happen next. What if someone in your family is concerned? Will you still be able to distinguish, who's your friend and who's your enemy? While you use much of the teachings of the Indians, you're still the son of a white man. You live in your world and not in ours."

For weeks he had suspected that their friendship would be put to the test. It had started not long after his twelfth birthday. Some of the younger warriors of the Kohuanas had attacked and killed some farmers in the area. Treks, which were on their way to California, were raided and almost none of the settlers survived the attacks. Koko and her family got to feel the force of the anger of the town's people. Also the tribe of her grandfather, the Gosiute, was accused of having been involved in the attacks. In school it had never been easy for Koko, but a few weeks ago it became increasingly difficult for her. Adam tried to take her as much as possible from the line of fire and to protect her from the others. So they got used to talking in the language of the Gosiute if others were near. Of course they got in trouble with their teacher, Mr. Conner, but it didn't stop them from doing it again.

"We aren't of the same origin, but I feel closer to your world than any other. You are my second family. You are like a sister to me and it makes me sad that you think I could deny my friendship to you, just because you are Indians. Koko, not every white man is good and not every Indian is bad. After all this time, do we both have to argue about friendship and different cultures at all?"

Both looked at each other for a long time and he noticed how the storm in her tailed off. "However, it won't get easier, Adam. Up to now there are only words, but it surely won't take long till someone loses control. Of this I'm sure and I'm afraid of."

"But there are many who are trying to calm down the situation. Tonight my father is in town again to discuss with several people how to soothe tempers again. We must just hope the renegade Indians can be stopped or come to their senses."

"You're always so optimistic Wynono."

"That's what I learned from you, Jessica."

Again both had a big smile on their faces. They were sure, nothing could shake their deep friendship easily.

"Well, you two ... .., you're planning how to kill the next settlers right now?"

Adam didn't need to turn around to know who stood behind them. "Mitch, why don't you and Buck just go home. There you can continue to chat about stupid stuff."

Slowly Adam turned around. "Stupid stuff? Wanna say, the stories ain't true?"

"I don't want to talk to you about it. There'll be nothing worthwhile coming out of it anyway."

Mitch and Buck looked at each other. "What?"

"You see, Mitch. That's why I've got no interest in talking to you. You don't understand me anyhow."

Adam hadn't expected Mitch and Buck to be provoked so quickly. He wasn't ready, when the two pounced on him. They pushed him to the ground, and started punching him immediately. Adam tried to roll to the side, to escape their blows. He knelt by now and he was lucky that the work on the ranch made him stronger than the two who lived in town. It wasn't difficult for Adam to keep Buck at bay with a powerful elbow strike. Getting up he pushed Mitch with his head in his belly. He immediately took some distance from the two to estimate what they were up to next.

"Now you're in it, Indian lover!"

Buck drew his knife and approached slowly toward Adam. In horror Koko watched the scene happening before her very eyes. She knew she had no chance to defend herself or Adam against Buck and Mitch. Both boys were already thirteen and had grown so much during the last months that they could fight her off easily. She desperately tried to think about how she could help Adam.

Adam watched Bucks movements closely. Mitch also waited for what his friend was up to. Adam didn't move. He wanted Buck to take the first step. And Adam wasn't to be disappointed. Buck lunged forward and pointed his knife toward Adam's belly. Adam took a step aside, grabbed Buck's arm, pulled him down and kicked him with the knee in the belly. The knife fell to the ground and Buck went down, too. Adam hadn't even taken a breath as Mitch ran into him at full force. Koko ran to Buck in an instant and took the knife. Mitch hit Adam in the face again and again, then he put his hands around Adam's neck and squeezed. Without success Adam tried to push Mitch away or at least to get rid of the hands squeezing his throat. Desperately he began to gasp for air. He heard Koko as she called out his name, and Mitch's face became blurred. Suddenly Adam could breathe again and the pressure on his chest subsided. He rolled onto his belly instantly, trying to breathe normally again. Adam felt someone kneeling down next to him and putting a hand on his back.

"Adam ... .., please try to get up!"

"Come up, boy! Then you'll be able to take some deep breaths."

Pretty shaky Adam got back to his feet. Beside him were Koko and Mr. Brenner from the livery stable. Very slowly his breathing got normal. He looked around, but there was no trace of Buck and Mitch. "Koko, where are Mitch and Buck?"

"I shoved against Mitch, so that he would stop hurting you, then Mr. Brenner arrived and helped me. So they both ran away."

"You two should ride home now and tell your parents about it, so that they both can take them guys to task!"

"We will do so, Mr. Brenner and thanks a lot."

"You're surely all right, son?"

Still gasping for breath Adam replied. "Yes! I am."

Mr. Brenner patted him on the shoulder and went back to his stable. Koko put her hand on Adam's back. "Adam, maybe I'd better take you to the shaman. You look terrible."

"No, Koko! It'll be better soon."

"Adam, where did you guys just learn to fight this way?"

Adam cocked his head, looked at Koko and tried to grin. "From your father!"

"What?"

"I once asked him how it could be that the Indians carry knives and fight as good, if they are supposed to always solve their problems with words and calmness. So he explained to me that sometimes the hatchet has to be digged out because the other person cannot or isn't willing to understand the words of peace. Then you have to be strong enough to face up to him. Only this way you can force him to peace. Every now and then he showed me, how I can defend myself, and taught me to see and use the fury and weakness of my opponents."

"If your father will notice that, you may surely not be allowed to visit us any longer."

"He almost never comes to your home, so he won't notice it."

"But he'll see that you've been in a fight today. You know what he'll tell you then."

"I'll tell him what happened, and if he's still mad with me, that's it. I'll never watch others hurt or insult you, Koko. No way!"

"Hopefully he will understand. Adam, come on, let's go home. My parents will be worried if I'm late."

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His father's horse wasn't in the barn and also wasn't tied up in front of the house. Adam felt quite lucky to talk to Marie about the matter first. He only hoped that his little brother Little Joe would just sleep and she would have time for him. Little Joe had just turned one year old, and kept the whole family busy. Nothing was safe from him. He was on tour through the whole house only to see what he could put in his mouth or throw down. His father always said, Little Joe was as a whirlwind like Marie, when she was sitting on a horse. Adam took his schoolbooks and entered the house. Marie already sat at lunch with Hoss. He put the books on the sideboard and went to the table.

"Sorry, I was delayed!"

In shock Marie dropped the silverware when she saw Adam. "Oh, mon Dieu ... Adam, what happened? " She stood up, holding his chin firmly with one hand and looked at his face. "Did you get into a fight at school?"

"Nope. Koko and I were on our way to our horses, when Mitch and Buck came up to us."

Adam didn't go on and looked toward Hoss. Marie followed his gaze. He didn't want to tell the story in front of his brother since Hoss would go to school after the holidays, and he shouldn't get afraid of his future classmates. Marie understood Adams views. "Hoss, I think Hop Sing still has a little dessert left in the kitchen. Tell him that I've allowed you to take it. You can eat it in the kitchen."

Hoss' eyes brightened. "I'm already gone, Mum."

"And now, please tell me what happened, Adam."

"Mitch and Buck made some stupid remarks about the Indians and more or less claimed that Koko's family was part of the murder of settlers and farmers there."

"Nonsense! Not only that they wouldn't do such things, but it's also an entirely different tribe to ply its dreadful trade around here. You wanted to defend Koko and you started a fight?"

"Nope! Mitch and Buck started the brawl. They suddenly were going for me."

She looked at him sympathetically. "It's just not easy in school for you both, isn't it?"

"For me it's ok. I just feel sorry for Koko. Even kids who have been playing with her until now say spiteful things. I just don't understand, Marie. Don't the people realize that the Gosiute have nothing to do with it? Why this sudden hatred at all them Indians?"

"People are afraid, Adam. They don't understand the culture and lifestyle of the Indians, and when something like this happens, they don't look at who is good or evil. They just want to destroy what scares them."

"What if they do something to Koko's family?"

"Adam, your father tries everything possible to get people to handle the matter in a sensitive way and focus on how to fight the renegade warriors of the Kohuana."

"But why do just we and a few others realize that not all Indians are bad?"

"Because people make no efforts to get to know and understand them."

"Yes, Amarok once told me, if you don't talk to them, you won't get to know them. What you don't know, you're afraid of. What you are afraid of, you destroy. Actually it was related to animals, but he meant, that it could also be applied to other things. Now I know what he meant."

"Adam, I truely believe that everything's going to be just fine again. And now we should wash out the dirt of your wounds. "

She looked at him more closely and held her breath. Again she turned Adams head aside. "Adam, are these strangulation marks?"

He just nodded. "That wasn't just a small fight?"

Adam shook his head. "Adam, you tell me all that happened – at once!"

"Buck attacked me with a knife and Mitch was choking me thereafter."

"Your father will be out of his mind!"

"Marie, do we have to tell him? He will want to talk with Buck's and Mitch's parents about it. Then Koko will have even more trouble. If it affected only me, it wouldn't matter to me, I can cope with them two. But I think of Koko. The whole thing upsets her so much."

Marie had sympathy for Adam's desire, but she couldn't meet his demand. "Adam, of course your father will see what has happened. Do you want to lie to him?"

"No, of course not! But I also don't want him to be in rage. Isn't there another solution?"

"I'll talk to him and promise you that he won't rush to the parents of the two. Is that okay for you?"

"Yeah, thanks, Mom!"

She smiled. He rarely addressed her this way. But when he did she knew it came deep from his heart.


	9. Chapter 9

He already had looked for his brother for more than an hour. Soon Marie would come back home with Little Joe, and if he hadn't found Hoss by then, he better be ready to get scolded. First, Adam was looking all over the house, but then noticed that Hoss had gone off on horseback. He had looked at all the hidden places he knew, without success. He was about to ride to Koko, hoping to find his brother there. Then he saw Hoss approaching. His little brother hadn't quite reached him as Adam already started yelling at him. "Hoss, where've you been? What were you thinking? Just riding away without informing anybody? You know, you shouldn't leave the Ponderosa all alone!"

"You was so busy and I was so bored. I thought I could ride around a bit and look for tracks."

Adam was about to burst with anger. Since Koko had shown Hoss how to read tracks, he chased all animal tracks, he could find. Already three times he'd wandered off this week. "Hoss, stop it! If something happens to you, not only am I in trouble, but Pa and Marie would be devastated."

Hoss jumped from his horse with a linen bag in his hand. "Adam here ...! I found something! Look at it just once!"

Adam was sure his brother hadn't really listened to what he had just told him. "I don't wanna see this!"

"Oh, come on, please!"

Hoss looked at his big brother with big blue puppy eyes. Annoyed Adam dismounted and went to Hoss, who happily offered him the sack to have a look. With modest enthusiasm Adam opened the bag, then dropped it with a loud cry, as if he had burnt his fingers. He got so frightened that he stumbled backwards and fell to the ground. Still in shock, he crawled backwards. He tried to get as much distance from the bag as possible. Yelling at Hoss his voice cracked. "Hoss, are you mad!? Have you taken leave of your senses!?"

Even now Hoss didn't listen to him. He was too much outraged at his brother who had simply dropped the sack. "For goodness' sake, Adam! You can't drop the sack like that! What if the babies get hurt?"

"Hoss, do not touch the bag!"

Of course, his brother didn't listen. "Oh, my little ones, I hope you're okay. My brother Adam meant no harm. He doesn't know that you're all alone, since your mom didn't come back."

Adam was flabbergasted. Didn't his brother know how dangerous these animals were? "Hoss, rattlesnakes have no mother to care for them! They've to cope alone. How did you touch them and stick them in the sack? You know how dangerous they are!"

"I got hazel wrapped around my hands and feet. Koko told me that they don't like that. After that I was able to grab their tails and I put them into the bag. Adam, they ain't much older than two or three days! And someone still must take care of them!"

Still perplexed by Hoss' naivety, Adam stood up. Very carefully he walked to his little brother. By now Hoss had tied up the bag again. "Hand me the bag, Hoss. I'll take care of it."

Hoss hid the bag behind his back. "Nope, I know what you're planning. You wanna kill them."

"These are rattlesnakes. One bite and you will die, Hoss. These are no toys."

"But you mustn't kill them! You just said that they already can cope alone. We can still bring them back."

"No, Hoss!"

"Adam, please!"

Hoss was close to tears. Adam knew that if he'd kill the snakes now, Hoss would suffer for weeks. "Give me the bag, Hoss. I'll bring them back while you ride home. Marie should be right back. Tell her I'll be a little late."

"Thanks Adam. I knew you wouldn't kill snake babies."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Hoss, I swear, if you don't ride home without hesitation, I will tear their heads off."

Hoss laughed. "You'll never do that. You're too much afraid of snakes."

„Hoss….!"

Hoss mounted is horse. "See you soon!"

Shaking his head Adam looked at his brother as he rode away. What did Hoss think to bring these snakes home? He had to have a talk with Koko. She should watch out what she was telling Hoss. Adam didn't want to imagine what would have happened if Hoss had hidden the bag in his room. He mounted his horse and wondered where was the best place he could set the snakes free. The Bison Canyon would be a good place. Quite far away from the road and from the Ponderosa.

All the way Adam looked repeatedly to the bag that hung next to his legs. Hoss was right. He hated snakes and was afraid of them. Adam could talk to him as often as he wanted. He'd never understand. He didn't even want to, to be honest.

He reached the Bison Canyon after about half an hour. After another ten minutes, he had found a good place where he could pour out the bag, without fear that the snakes might bite him. Adam exhaled in relief and shuddered. He hoped that a snake would never ever come so close to him again. He looked around and wondered if he should take the same route back or a shortcut through the canyon. It would be a bit more exhausting, but it would certainly save a good fifteen minutes. The growling in his belly triumphed over reason.

Slowly and carefully, he directed his horse down the stony path. After about half of the way he heard voices and faint drumming. Curious where the noise came from, he dismounted and climbed over some rocks. The voices and the drumming got louder. He carefully looked past a large rock. Quick as a flash he pulled his head back. His heart raced. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down. But his curiosity was bigger than reason. Adam opened his eyes and looked again down the small valley. Down there were about forty Indians. A man was tied onto a tree. Judging by his clothes, he was probably a farmer. Adam didn't know what to do. To ride back to the ranch to get his father or even do something himself? He was sure the Indians down there were the warriors of the Kohuana. Adam was about to return to his horse when he heard the farmer shrieking. Mesmerized Adam looked back to the valley. What he got to see and to hear in the next thirty minutes shook him to the core. His mind kept calling ... run away ... run away quickly, and don't you ever look back! But his legs and his eyes didn't move an inch. In the end he saw the Indians cheering and screaming swinging on their horses and riding away. His freezing faded and he leaned with his back against the rock. Adam heard himself breathing loudly. His shirt was soaked with sweat. His heart was in his throat. He didn't need to climb down the valley to know that the farmer hung dead on the tree. What Adam had seen, no one could survive. He put his hand over his ears. He still could hear the man's anguished and pained cries. He had to get away from this place! Away from the horror! Adam pushed away from the rock and ran to his horse as fast as he could. Later, he couldn't tell how he had left the ravine on the rocky path without his horse stumbling.

At the Ponderosa he told Marie that he was back. She was busy with Little Joe and Hoss, and so she didn't ask right away where he had been. Marie just told him that his meal was in the kitchen, but Adam wasn't hungry. His shock slowly turned into an immense anger. He wanted to yell at someone! Even better, if Mitch and Buck were crossing his path! Adam felt the need to vent his anger and his pain to someone. He went to the door, wondering what he could do now. His eyes fell on the firewood, which he was supposed to chop tomorrow. So he pulled off his shirt and went to work. He let his whole frustration out on the wood, but even after he had finished the first batch, he did't feel better. Furiously, he went on.

Ben finished his appointment in town much earlier than suspected, and in the early afternoon he was already back on the Ponderosa. He tethered his horse and noticed that Adam took care of the firewood. On the way to the house, he waved to Adam and asked him how he was doing. "Just fine." Ben nodded and walked on. Just in front of the door he stopped. What had Marie once told him? He should pay more attention to what Adam did not tell him. Marie said that Adam didn't talk, if he had a problem. He always tried to find a solution by himself. So Ben wondered why his son took care of the firewood today. He shouldn't do it until tomorrow. And according to the heap that was already choped, he had already done more than necessary. Why wasn't Adam at Koko's? He had the afternoon off. Ben turned around and went back to Adam.

"Adam?"

His son didn't respond. Before Adam put the next piece of wood on the block, Ben grabbed him by the arm. "Adam?"

With a jerk Adam pulled his arm away and yelled at his father. "Leave me alone, Pa!"

Ben gasped. With wide eyes, he looked at his son. He wasn't only shocked by Adam's reaction, but also how he looked. His face was distorted with rage and his eyes were red from crying. Very carefully Ben touched his son again by the arm. Very softly, he spoke to him. "Adam? What happened?"

Adam looked at his father and dropped to his knees. Ben held him by the arms and together they went to the ground. "For heaven's sake, Adam, what happened?" Adam slapped both hands against Ben's chest. "Why did they lie to me all these years? Why, Pa? Why?"

His father didn't understand a word of what Adam wanted to tell him. He had no idea what might have shaken his son so much. "Adam, I don't understand. Who lied to you?"

"Koko and Amarok!"

Adam leaned against his father and Ben hugged him. Again and again he wondered what could have happened to make his son lose his self-control so completely. Both were kneeling on the ground, and Ben simply held Adam tight until he noticed that Adam calmed down a bit. "Adam, tell me what happened, so I can help you. What do Koko and her father have to do with the fact that you're so upset."

Adam sat on the ground holding his head with both hands. "Why did they tell me again and again, I should solve my problems with words and live in peace with nature and the people, when they themselves can be so cruel? How can they speak of the balance of soul and cut out someone's tongue in the next moment?"

Ben was shocked. "Amarok has cut out someone's tongue? Son, I can't believe that!"

He shook his head. "No, not Amarok. The Kohuana."

"Adam, can you please tell me the whole incident step by step?"

His son put his hands on his ears. "No, Pa! I can't do that! I don't want that!"

He took his son's hands from his ears and looked him in the eye. With very soft voice he tried to sooth him. "Adam, you have to talk about it. I want to help you to understand what has happened. To take away your fear. I'm with you, Adam! Being here with me nothing can happen to you. Adam, please."

The breathing of his son went faster again. "Adam, try to calm down. Look at me and tell me."

Adam hesitated briefly. "I was in the Bison Canyon and heard voices and drums. In the small valley there were Indians. They had tied a farmer to a tree. I was just going to fetch you when ... "

He swallowed. "Go on, son. What happened next."

"They started to shoot at him with arrows and knives, but they tried to hurt him not hard. But when he still screamed louder, they cut out his tongue. Pa, they didn't only cut out his tongue...!"

Adam told his father all the cruelties he had seen. With every sentence Ben was getting more and more pale. "Adam, why didn't you run away?"

"I couldn't, Pa! My feet couldn't move an inch."

He took his son in his arms again. He didn't want to imagine what would have happened to Adam, if the Indians had discovered him. "But why do you have such an anger at Koko and Amarok?"

"Pa, since I know Koko, the two have been telling me, how important it is to find inner peace. To control one's anger and fears. That this is the way of life of all Indians. To keep peace with oneself, with nature, with the people. But what I saw today, had nothing to do with this way of life. I've only seen killing for pleasure. ….Pa, they rode off triumphant."

Thoughts raced through Ben's head. What should ... what could he tell his son now. What he had seen was already difficult to bear for an adult, so how could he help Adam? "Adam, do you remember the talk we had because of Mitch and Buck two weeks ago? Didn't you say you don't understand that there are white people who have such a hatred of all the Indians that they'd kill every one of them who gets near?" Adam nodded. "Likewise, there are some among the Indians that would kill every white man they see. Adam, the Indians have lived together more or less peacefully, until we came into this land. Just as Amarok has told you in recent years. Then their land was taken. They were banished. They were murdered. The White tried to impose them our way of life. The young warriors of Kohuana aren't so angry for no reason. Five years ago the army came and drove them off of their land. So they moved on until they had found a new place in the southwest. In March, however, they were told that they must leave the country again after summer. The elders among them wanted to be reconciled to their fate. But not the younger."

"But what do they expect to gain if they kill others? They won't get their land back this way."

"Fury blinds, Adam. Didn't you once tell me something about thoughtless arrows that surprise even the shooter? If I've understood correctly, it means that your anger and your fear can hit everybody, because you don't think about who's to blame for your anger. In your anger you wanted to blame Amarok and Koko for what you've seen. If Koko was here in this moment, she'd gotten all your anger. Would've that been fair?"

"No. It wouldn't!"

"Look at Amarok. His people had to leave their native land and they've become friends for you all the same. Adam, and that the Indians don't only live in harmony with nature, you know quite well. Think of Inger."

"But that was different. I didn't feel that they had pleasure in killing."

Adam looked at his hands, thinking. "Why Amarok has never told me that they were driven out, too? Why doesn't he hate us?"

"Only he can give you the exact answer. I can tell you what I'm thinking. I suppose that it was important to him that you understand him and his people. How they live, how they think and what nature and the land on which they live means to them. He wanted to be sure that you're not friends with Koko out of pity, and that you won't become like Buck and Mitch. Look what an anger on Indianscthese two have in their young age." Ben took Adams hands, looking into his eyes. "Adam, I hope you'll never see again, what you saw today. But you'll have to live with the fact that there is no real peace between the Indians and us in the near future. Some people will leave you in no doubt that they hate you because you're a friend of the Indians. And the Indians will hate you because you're a white man. Have a talk with Amarok about what you've seen today, and how you feel with those pictures in your head. We both will help you to live with what has happened."

Ben stood up and pulled Adam up. "Will I forget it someday, Pa?"

Ben shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, no, son. It will be a part of you forever."

Adam and his father walked towards the house. "Pa, ... could I leave the light on in my room tonight?"

"Of course, and in the hallway, too."

Thanks, Pa!"


	10. Chapter 10

Amarok laid his tools aside as Adam dismounted in front of the house. He had been expecting him. After Adam's experience with the Kohuana, Ben went to him to ask for help the very same evening. Of course, he was ready to talk with Adam about the incident, and to help him to handle what had happened. But Amarok asked Ben that Adam should decide when it would be the right time for him. So it took more than a week for Adam to visit the farm of Amarok again.

"Good that your path has led you to me, Wynono."

"It wasn't easy!"

"What do you think about going to the creek and talk there?"

Adam nodded and both went there silently. On the shore they sat down on a boulder and only looked at the water for some time.

"Amarok, why don't you hate us? Why am I welcome at your home?"

"Why have you made friends with Koko, although you knew that in her veins flows the blood of the Gosiute, and despite your mother losing her life by the arrow of an Indian?"

Adam didn't have to think twice. "Because it wasn't important for me. I like her the way she is."

"Have you ever felt rage against the Indians?"

He lowered his head and his voice went to a whisper. "Not up until last week."

Again they went silent for a while, listening to the gentle murmur of the creek. "Wynono, what do you know of the history of my people?"

"Not much. Only what my father told me. That many of you have had to leave their land, and that there are always confrontations between us."

Quietly Amarok asked the Great Spirit to find the right words for Wynono. "When the white man came to our country, he was welcomed with open arms. However, it didn't take longfor trouble, because he didn't understand our way of life. The white man strives always for more. He measures the success of a man only on the size of his property, not on the size of his heart. It's not enough for him to live in harmony with nature. Then he came, and wanted to buy our land, and didn't understand that you cannot sell land, because you cannot sell your soul. We all are only guests on this earth for a short time. The land doesn't belong to us. But even that, the white man didn't understand, and so he started to take the land by force."

For a while Amarok only looked at the water, then back to Adam.

"Wynono, many of my brothers lost their lives just because they had a different way of life. As the suffering of my people grew, the old warriors decided to accept the offer of the Great White Man in Washington and to move to another location. Only this way they could save their tribes from a massacre." The Indian took a deep breath. "But even that wasn't enough for the white man. He still wanted more and started to decide where the tribes have to live, and that they were no longer allowed to leave this area. But we're all born free, like you, and don't want to be crammed in. We want to have the freedom to go where we like to go. Do you understand what we had to endure till this very day, so that you could settle down in this country? Would you and your father just watch if someone drove you out of the Ponderosa?"

"I think we wouldn't do so." Adam thought about Amarok's words. "But I still don't understand these two extremes. On the one hand the young warriors of Kohuana, who have so much hatred in them, and on the other hand you and your tribe living peacefully next to us."

"Wynono, in our hearts there are two wolves fighting. One of the two is vindictive, aggressive and cruel. The other is caring, gentle and compassionate. And the wolf, which is fed more will win the battle for the heart and although my family has been wronged, I'm hopeful that I always feed the right wolf."

Adam shook his head. "But we're no different than those who have driven you from your home once."

Amarok smiled gently. "But your family and especially you, are feeding the good wolf in your heart and you listen to us. Your father respects this land. Although he takes more than you need for living, he doesn't destroy it. He wants the next generations to live here, too. Your father understands that all creatures on earth need air, sun and clear water to stay well."

"Our ways of living are so different, so I find it hard to believe that we'll live together in peace someday."

"Yes, it'll be difficult. We say there are three kinds of peace. The first peace, the most important, is the one who moves into the souls of people when they realize their relationship and that they are one with the universe. Then they can feel that within the center of the world a wonderful secret exists, and that this center is really everywhere. This is the most important peace; all others are merely reflections of it. The second peace is the one that shall be made between the individuals. And the third is peace between peoples. But above all, you must understand that there can never be peace, unless the first peace is achieved. It is within the human soul."

Adam tried to grasp Amarok's words and to understand them. Again there was silence between them, but they didn't feel uncomfortable.

"Do you still feel a rage, if you see those pictures in your mind from the day that shook your heart so deeply?"

"It's not anger anymore. It's just a great sadness in me, that there are people who can mutually hurt each other so much, no matter how their ways of living are."

"That's why you have to learn to stay free, Wynono. Don't be a prisoner of set ideas, because they only entail misfortune and confusion. Try to stay as I got to know you. Don't lose the innocence and sensibility in your heart. Only this way you stay open-minded to other points of view." He put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "I know it won't be easy for you, but go upright as the trees. Live your life as strong as the mountains. But be as gentle as the spring breeze. Keep the warmth of the sun in your heart, then you needn't be afraid that you feed the wrong wolf and this way you won't be like the young warriors of Kohuana or as Mitch and Buck."

"Can I do that? Me, the son of a white man? Can I go through life with your Indian wisdom? What if I again experience something that forces the same rage and anger in me as a week ago? What if I can not control myself?" He paused for a moment. "Amarok, that day I wanted to hurt someone. No matter whom ... .. It scares me."

"It's sad that you had to experience very early in your life how cruel people can be. Try to keep learning and try to develop a power within you. Not to be superior to others, but to fight your worst enemy ... yourself. You're right. You'll always be a son of the whites and you'll question at times one or the other of our points of view. But you talk to us, you are trying to understand us and give your knowledge to others. Only this way there might possibly be peace between our peoples some day. Always remember, anger and wrath belong to you as love and tenderness. If you find the balance of your soul, you'll also be able to control your anger in a better way; it can't influence as much as in the past week." He took Adam's hand. "Wynono, was this hand always this big? Could you always walk? Speak? And understand all the things at once?"

"No, of course not. I had to learn first, and my hand has grown."

"Even the young warriors of my tribe have to learn and understand all the things I teach you. For you it's even more difficult, because you don't live among us. Believe me, if you keep listening to us, you needn't to be afraid of your anger any longer."

"But I might not have the time to learn it all. It's so hard to hear repeatedly that the Indians are cruel, and all must be killed. It's hard to see what problems Koko has got at school. I'm still not so strong to fight myself."

"You are! You're already so strong that you're not afraid to speak the truth. You're not afraid to shock or provoke, because your actions and your words come from your heart of hearts. Time and again you stood by Koko, no matter what others did say."

"But sometimes it is very hard for me to speak out. Then I feel so left alone."

"Are you? Think it over, Wynono!"

Adam smiled. "No. I'm not. I have my family and you."

"It's exactly like that. You're not like most kids at your school. You'll never go the easy way. You're like a hawk sitting on the tree with another hawk watching a flock of wild ducks fly by. You won't say to your brother, look, there goes the majority so it must be the right way, we're joining them. You will continue the way of your own opinion."

Adam followed the creek with his eyes. During his trip to Nevada he had seen and experienced so much that was frightening and scary. But what had happened in the past month, had left him quite brooding. Buck hadn't been afraid to attack him with a knife and to hurt him. Mitch would certainly have strangled him until he would have been unconscious or even dead. He had to learn that there are people who are happy if someone gets killed. How could he live in such a world? How should or could he protect himself, not to become like that. Only by learning how to find his inner balance? He looked at Amarok. Koko's father was like a rock. Adam had the feeling that nothing could shake him. He had also seen that he was fast and strong as he showed him how to defend himself. Could he be the same? Just sensible, but ready to defend himself with full force, if necessary?

"Amarok, what do I have to do to get even better, for living in balance with my soul?"

"Do business as usual, and when stones are lying on your way, you know what to do."

"I'm not going back. I'm looking for a way around."

"Learn to enjoy the beauty of the moment, the flight of a bird, the roar of the wind, the murmur of a spring, the mysterious penumbra in the undergrowth. Become like your little brother, who's amazed by all things, and time will stand still. Then you will know the whole world through your own body."

"With your help I want to continue on this path and to learn more from you. I just have one more question…" Adam's voice went quiet. "…..How do I get those farmer's cries out of my head? They're so loud ... just in the night."

"When you learn to watch them not as an enemy, but as a warning companion, the screams become more quiet, but they will never fall silent."

Amarok rose. "Wynono, today we exchanged many words, now your soul may rest in order to understand everything. I think Aponi has our lunch prepared. We shouldn't let her wait."

"It's this late? I have to go home. Marie will be waiting for me."

Amarok laid his hand on Adam's back. "No hurry, my young warrior. Your father and I have agreed, when you come to talk to me, you can stay as long as you want to. I'm assuming that your parents know that you're with us?"

Adam nodded. "So come on. Koko's already waiting for you."


	11. Chapter 11

"Here, Koko, look what I've found."

Hoss had picked up a small stone and watched in fascination as several beetles were trying to dig in back into the earth. Koko crouched beside him and watched. "Do you think they're afraid, Koko?"

"I think a little. You've just taken away their protection from other animals."

"But how can I watch them?"

"By waiting until they come out from under the stone on their own."

Hoss thought for a moment then looked at her sadly. "This'll take forever. By then schoolbreak's already over."

Koko smiled at him. "Now you've already lifted the stone. When we go back to school, you just put it back."

Hoss was pleased, and both watched the beetles again in silence.

"Well, big baby, are you next?"

Hoss turned his head to Mitch and Buck, who stood behind them. "What am I next with?"

Buck hit his friend with a flat hand on the chest. "Didn't I tell you? As great as he is so stupid he is."

Faced with Koko and Hoss both boys laughed loudly. "Well, so what, big baby? As soon as your brother's not here, the half breed is going for the next Cartwright."

"For goodness' sake! Buck, that's just as it is among savages. They always have several men at the same time."

When rising, Koko took Hoss by the arm. "Come on, Hoss, let's go somewhere else. Those two still want to make trouble."

Mitch took a step closer to Koko. "Ain't ya afraid, half breed, because Adam isn't here?"

"I'm not afraid of you, Mitch. And I don't need Adam to defend myself against you both."

Mitch came even closer to her. His voice was almost a whisper. "That's pretty good. Because one day the three of us will have a lot of fun."

Koko took a step back and looked at him in disgust. "Mitch, you just make me feel sick!"

"Mitch, what are you going to wait for? She'll soon turn thirteen. She knows the game. Them filthy Indians take none but such young girls for wife."

While Hoss didn't quite understand what this was all about, he noticed that Koko felt very uncomfortable in this situation. So he stood up between her and the two boys. "I think you should go by now."

Buck hit Hoss against the chest with his fist. "What's the big deal, big baby? Your brother had no chance against us, and now you think you can stand against us? You can't even a hurt a fly!"

"Just bugger off!"

Mitch had meanwhile stepped aside and tapped Hoss on the shoulder. "Big baby, you Cartwrights are so easy to provoke! As for your brother, we only need to threaten his cute girlfriend. And as for you I think I just need to crush your sweet beetles."

While saying this, he went to the beetles, Hoss and Koko had just viewed.

Mitch couldn't react as quickly as Hoss grabbed him by the collar and slammed his fist into his body. Dazed, he remained lying on the ground. Buck wanted to help his friend and jumped Hoss on the back. It wasn't difficult for Hoss to shake Buck off and to send him to the ground with a powerful blow. He wanted to bend down just to grab Mitch again when Koko was at his side and held his arm with both hands. "Hoss, that's enough! There'll be a lot of trouble. Don't make it even worse."

"But Koko, those two are just evil! Always been! I've noticed exactly what they've done to you and Adam the last few years."

Koko dragged Hoss towards the school building. "Hoss, they'll get their punishment one day. I'm sure!"

Hoss stopped and grinned at her. "Yes, they will. Adam will shoot them."

She looked at him shocked. "Why would he do that? Where did you get such a terrible idea?" Hoss held his hand over his mouth. "I can't talk about it."

"What can't you talk about?"

Hoss shook his head.

"Hoss, you tell me now! Why are you sure that Adam will shoot those two!"

Hoss ummed and awwed a little and put his hands in his pocket. "Well, because ... well, he ... .., but don't mention that I told you."

"Hoss, I can't promise. It depends on what you're telling me now."

"He is teaching himself to shoot. Adam told me he needs to practice in order to be faster than the others later. To protect you."

Koko was totally shocked. "Adam doesn't have to protect me. I'm quite able to look after myself. He should leave that. He doesn't need to learn that, and he shouldn't wear any weapon either."

"Are you mad at him?"

"Yes!"

Hoss was completely devastated. He always found it difficult to keep such things for a secret. Why he couldn't keep his mouth shut just for once? Now Adam and Koko would go to argue again, and he was the one to blame. Koko crossed her arms and watched Hoss.

"Hoss, stop looking like that. You know I can't stand it when you're sad. But I can't watch Adam putting himself at risk."

"But all men wear weapons, and he'll turn fifteen in half a year. Then he'll be gifted with his first gun from Pa."

"Then he shouldn't accept it."

Hoss looked at the ground. "Koko, lately you and Adam are arguing so often. Ain't you friends any more?"

"Of course, we are. That's why we argue." Koko took a deep breath and tried to look at Hoss bit friendlier. "Hoss, your brother isn't so easy-going at the moment. He and Tom constantly do some stupid things which I can't find funny at all."

Hoss bursted into laughter. "Oh, I know what you mean. Adam has already gotten into trouble with Pa because of that. Recently those two tried to break a horse, and they picked the most ferocious. When Pa saw it he was going hopping mad, and although Adam had got a hefty punishment, he told me that it was worth it."

"See what I mean, Hoss? Tom and he always put themselves in danger, and now he wants to run around with a gun. I cannot only stand and watch!"

Hoss shrugged. "I don't think you can talk him out of it."

Before Koko could give him an answer, Mr. Connor rang the bell and the break was over.

Of course, Mitch and Buck had complained to her teacher that Hoss had hit them for no reason, but Mr. Connor knew both well enough to realize that they were of course not entirely innocent in the matter. So all three went home with a letter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hoss stood before his father's desk and handed him the letter. Ben looked at his son in amazement. He was used to Adam bringing letters from school now and then, but Hoss starting the very same took him by surprise. But when he read that Mitch and Buck had been involved, he was more mad about the fact that Adam hadn't helped his brother. "Hoss, where was your brother during schoolbreak?"

Hoss looked at the ceiling and shrugged. "Hoss, please look at me when I'm talking to you and reply properly."

Again he looked at his father. "I don't know where he was, Pa."

"Well, the schoolyard isn't so large!"

Hoss already knew in the morning that the whole thing would go wrong, but Adam has talked him into it. "He wasn't in the schoolyard."

"Hoss ... I see, you're keeping something back."

Hoss snorted loudly. "He didn't go to school today."

Ben leaned forward and at Hoss with wide eyes. "But this morning you both left by horse."

"Yes, but we separated shortly after, and he rode into the mountains, to meet Tom there."

Ben leaned back in his chair. At his eyes Hoss could see that it wouldn't be a pleasant afternoon for Adam. "And where's that brother of yours now?"

"I should tell you that he's an hour late."

Ben closed his eyes and tried not to vent his anger at Hoss. "Hoss, you can go upstairs now and do your homework. But don't be loud, Little Joe still takes his nap."

"Yes, Sir!"

Ben waited until Hoss closed his bedroom door and then got up to go to Marie, who sat in the chair and sewed. "Did you just hear what Hoss told me?"

Ben was still beside himself and really tried not to talk loudly. "Yes, I did."

"And? ... ..I mean, how can you stay so calm? I don't know what's going on with the boy lately. Whether I say something to him or not, he doesn't care. It's simply of no interest to him. I thought after the incident with this wild horse he'd pull himself together, but no, now he skips school."

Marie watched in amusement as Ben paced up and down in front of the fireplace. When he saw the face of his wife, he stopped in front of her, put his hands to the side and looked at her with a lack of understanding. "How can you laugh about this?"

"Ben, how were you at his age? Did you do everything your father told you?"

"Yes, of course I did!"

"Yes, of course you did ...!" She grinned again. "And for what reason you left your home at the age of fifteen to stand on your own two feet?"

Ben continued his pacing in front of the fireplace. "It ..., those were different times. This can't be compared."

Marie put her sewing kit back on the table and stood up. "Ben, don't you realize that step by step your son is growing into a young man? He wants to prove himself, and not always listen to his Pa."

"Oh, so that's the reason he must always risk life and limb? Who knows what those two were up to in the mountains. And then skipping school for this nonsense. So I'm supposed to stay calm? He can be sure that this is going to have consequences."

"Yes, you shouldn't simply ignore it, but maybe you could have a reasonable father-son conversation with him for once and give him more responsibility at the ranch."

"Marie, I don't understand you. At times you say, I'm asking too much of Adam and now I shall give him more responsibility."

"Yes, your son had to do much more here aged eleven than now with almost fifteen. Why don't you let him break some horses. Adam's able to do that."

Ben's voice rose again. "Because he brought a horse to a halt last week, you think he can do that?"

"It wasn't his first horse and George thought, Adam could work with the horses by now. And I think if you'd allow it, he will just calm down a bit."

Ben looked at his wife with narrowed eyes. "What do you mean, it wasn't his first horse?" "This month he sat already three times on a Bronco. Adam and George had asked me for permittance, and I said yes."

Now Ben could no longer restrain himself. "You did WHAT? Without talking to me about it? Adam's still too young for that."

"Ben, the older your son gets, the less you trust him. I didn't tell you because I knew that you'd object."

"And that's only right and proper! I don't want anything happen to him."

All the louder Ben got, the quieter Marie went. "Since the incident with the Kohuana, I got a feeling that you want to protect him from everything, but that won't turn out well, Ben. It's quite normal that Adam wants to test his limits with Tom. Give him his freedom, without him being aware that you have an eye on him. Let Adam work with the horses. Take him to a hunting trip before winter. Show him how he can grow up without putting himself into danger headlong."

Ben said nothing, but only grumbled. "Mon Amour. Believe me, when Hoss and Little Joe reach this age you will know what to expect. Then it won't be so difficult for you. Speaking about Little Joe. It seems he has heard your shouting!"

She stood up and went upstairs to look after Little Joe. Ben kept on thinking about her words.

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Adam was in bed and thought about the afternoon. Outside a thunderstorm raged. It wouldn't take long and Hoss and Joe would stand by his bed, because they were afraid. Already in the morning Adam knew that Hoss would tell his father that he had skipped school. But he wasn't angry at him. Adam knew that Hoss always had difficulties keeping such things a secret. Therefore, he had already expected that his father would await him in front of the door. He had been surprised that they weren't heading for the barn directly, but found himself with his father sitting in the garden. Adam found the conversation to be very pleasant, although he surely realized that his father was mad at him. They talked about many things, of course, even the fact that it wasn't right to skip school and to involve Hoss in that. His punishment didn't turn out really bad, which of course was surprising, too. But even more he was amazed about the fact that his father was willing to allow him to work with George and the horses. And if Adam didn't skip school again, they'd go for a hunting trip the next weekend. There'd always be days Adam judged his father completely wrong.

Adam turned his head aside as he heard his bedroom door opening slowly. Hoss held Joe's hand, and both looked at him with wide eyes. Adam said nothing, just raised his blanket and both crawled underneath right away. "Adam? ... Are you angry with me that I told Pa?"

Adam being in the middle placed his arms around each of his brothers. "Nope, Hoss. After all I got the best brothers that ever could be."


	12. Chapter 12

Koko sat in front of the house and weaving a basket when she heard the hooves of a horse. She was a little surprised. After their last quarrel Koko didn't expect Adam to come today. Slowly he got out of the saddle and remained next to his horse. "Am I still welcome?"

Koko put her stuff aside and stood up. "Of course! You know that, but I didn't believe that you'd really come today."

He grinned sheepishly. "I've told you once, I will always come to your birthday. No matter what is or was. And I will always keep my promise."

He took a step toward her and took her in his arms. "Happy Birthday Koko! And forgive me, that I'm an idiot sometimes."

Laughing, she pushed him away. "Yes, you really are at the moment."

Adam took a bracelet out of his pocket and gave it to her. „For you!"

Koko looked at it and realized at once what sort of bracelet it was. "That's a Mountain Range! This bracelet stands for harmony and friendship and is a sign of home!" She put the bracelet on her wrist and hugged him. „Thank you, Adam!" She let go of him and looked at the bracelet more closely. "Did you make this yourself? It isn't so easy to use the colors in the right order?"

"Well, Aponi helped me a little, and explained the meaning of the bracelet to me."

"Even, that the colors represent the cardinal points of home?"

"Yes, everything ..., Koko, my friendship to you is so very important to me, and I have no clue why we're constantly arguing."

Koko sat back down on the bench in front of the house and Adam joined her.

"I know why I'm so mad at you. Because, when you're with Tom, you're just plain stupid. Your jokes about which I can't laugh. And then your constant competition who's better, faster or stronger."

„But it's just funny!"

"Yes, for you, but not me. I like Tom. He's a nice guy, but once you two are together, you are embarrassing."

Adam looked down. "Could be that you're right. That's why I want to do something with him alone, but then you're angry at me because I have no time for you."

Koko played with the bracelet of Adam, thinking. "I'm just sad. The last few years we've spent so much time together and now we barely see each other. If we meet, it doesn't take long, and one is mad at the other."

"I know, but I don't have as much time as before. I'm working more on the ranch than before. The few afternoons I have free, I want to spend with Tom, but on the other hand I miss you, too."

Adam shrugged. "Koko, I don't want our friendship to be broken."

She looked at the bracelet. "Me neither."

"Koko, would you like to celebrate Thanksgiving with us on Thursday? My parents won't mind if you stay overnight again."

"But Tom isn't with you, is he?"

"Nope. Only we, the Anders family and you ... if you want to."

She nodded. „I'm going to ask my mother." For a while they sat silently in front of the house. "Adam ... there's still something I do not like."

He looked at her. "And what is that?"

"The fact that you're learning to shoot. Why are you doing this?"

Adam rolled his eyes. "Did Hoss tell you?"

"Yes. But don't be mad at him. He didn't want to tell. It just slipped out."

„It's okay. But why don't you think it's right? All men wear guns, and I want to be used to it when I need it someday."

She looked at him irritated. "Why? To shoot Mitch and Buck?"

"Nonsense! I wouldn't do that. You know very well that I wouldn't hurt anybody on purpose."

"Yes – NOW! But what if you're older, and you'll be probably provoked by them? You just freak out every time they are close to me."

"Yes, that's true, but I am doing nothing. I'd only defend myself by every means, if I have to. I'll never ever tolerate that Mitch can come so close to me again."

"Do you realize what anger you have towards the two of them? What will happen when you all wear weapons? Are you sure you're not going to draw first?" With anxious eyes she looked at him. "Adam, I don't want something happening to you because of me."

He took her hand and pointed to the bracelet. "Koko, the bracelet is only a symbol for our friendship. The bracelet may break, or you lose it, but the real friendship can be seen by the fact that we are there for each other ... always. And if someone, who ever, wants to hurt you, I'll be there for you. If I have to, I'll defend you even by force. I did that during the last few years and will do so in future. We both know that the time of schoolyard brawls is over one day. Then I want to be ready. This doesn't mean that I'm running through the town like a gunslinger. I've learned from you and your people all too well, how to control this kind of anger."

She looked at him still sadly. "I can't stop you?"

"Nope! Koko, your father wears a knife, and would defend you and your mother without hesitation. Do you tell him, he should put away the knife?"

Koko crossed her arms. "Of course, I wouldn't do that! But somehow that's different. I don't know why, either."

"Well, you two!" Aponi looked out of the front door. Doesn't it get cold out there? I got fresh cakes and hot chocolate here, so if you feel like you want ... "

"Of course we want to!", Koko and Adam called out at the same time. "So come on in!"

Before Koko entered the house, Adam grabbed her arm. "Koko ... before I walk through town with a weapon, it'll take two or three more years. Who knows how you'll think about this then, but please, don't be worried about me."

"I shouldn't be afraid about you, but you can be afraid about me?"

He grinned at her. "Of course! Men are always worried about their women."

With a teasing smile Koko shook her head and went to the house.

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Adam was on his way home. Twice a week he stayed at school an hour longer. In one of these hours Mr. Connor taught him how to play guitar and the other hour they talked about books or newspaper articles which his teacher had given him before. He had the opinion that Adam was so well in school that he was one of the few who could make it to the university later. That's why he had started to give Adam more tasks than all the other pupils.

Adam was looking forward that Koko was allowed to come to Thanksgiving to him tomorrow. He just wondered what they could do together, when he saw his father's horse not far from the road. However, his father, he couldn't see anywhere. Adam dismounted and approached the horse carefully. After first examination he couldn't notice any injuries on him. Since Adam thought the whole situation to be strange, he resisted the wish to call for his father. How Amarok had once told him? He should listen to what his senses tell him. And they told him very clearly that something was wrong. He ran a little further in the direction of a small group of rocks. Suddenly he saw something flashing on the lawn. Adam bent down and with eyes wide open, he picked up the gun of his father. Again he thought of Amarok's words. 'If you face an unknown situation, try to keep your soul at balance. Don't get distracted by emotions or fears. Concentrate on what you know.' Adam looked back at the horses. What did he know? That his father would never leave his horse that way. That he would never just leave his gun lying on the lawn. Again his eyes fell on the group of rocks. Everything in him said that his father was right there. All of a sudden a chill flashed through his mind. Didn't his father mention at breakfast that he wanted to pick up the payrolls from the bank today? Slowly he approached the rocks. Carefully, he looked past them. There was his father kneeling on the ground. A stranger putting his gun to his head. Adam leaned against the cold stone. In his head he heard Amarok's voice. 'If you decide to attack, you have to be one with your senses and your soul. Your feelings fade to the background. Do not show your fear. Observe your enemy. Wait for his reaction, even if it's only the brief flash in his eyes ahead of his attack. Do not be provoked to take the first step. If you can control your body you're going to be the winner of the fight.'

Adam's eyes went to the gun in his hands. He automatically controlled, how many bullets were in the cylinder. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He tried to push his fear back. Adam concentrated on his breathing. He winced hearing the stranger shout. "I'll kill you here and now if you won't give me the money!"

His father probably had talked very quietly because Adam didn't hear his answer. "You're playing with your life, Cartwright."

Adam started to sweat. -'Let your fear stand back ...You must have control of yourself! Not your emotions ... '- Again Adam took a deep breath. Then he turned around and ran past the group of rocks. He was surprised that the stranger didn't notice him. He must have heard him, as loud as his heart was beating. He looked at his father. -'Leave your emotions behind.- Adam pointed the gun at the stranger. Calm and cool it was in his hand. His eyes were only directed to this man. His voice was strong and without emotion. "Put the gun down."

Ben and the stranger looked at Adam. The stranger first was surprised, but then quickly started to laugh. As Ben saw his son with the gun, he turned pale. His voice failed in horror. "Boy, YOU wanna stop me? '

Don't be provoked into a rash action.'-

"Once again, put the gun down."

The stranger cocked his head and looked at Adam more closely. "I know you! You're Cartwright's son, ain't ya?"

Ben prayed that Adam wouldn't answer the stranger's question. "Yep!"

Again the stranger laughed out loudly. "Boy, put the gun down or I'll shoot your father." -

'Don't show your fear. You control the situation. Don't be provoked. Push your emotions back.'- "Do it. You'll be next, because then I'll shoot you!"

Ben gasped. "You're serious, boy, right?"

-'Watch out for his reaction ... watch out for his eyes ... watch out for his hands ...'- "Yep!"

The stranger thought about what to do. If he shot Cartwright and the boy would pull the trigger at the same time, he wouldn't stand a chance. He kicked Ben in the chest, so that he fell backwards. "So tell your daddy goodbye!"

Saying this, he turned to Adam and pointed the gun at him. He still wondered why he heard a shot, although he hadn't pulled the trigger yet. The last thing he saw was Adam with the gun in his hand and a cold-blooded look.

Ben slowly opened his eyes. They had closed when he heard the shot. With the firm conviction to see Adam lying dead on the ground, he looked around. Still with the gun in his hand Adam stood there. Slowly Ben got up and went to the stranger first. Then he cautiouslly approached his son and spoke to him with soft voice.

"Adam, please hand me the gun."

Without looking at his father, he handed him the gun. His eyes were still fixed on the man on the ground. "He's dead, Pa?"

"Yes, he's dead, Adam."

Now Adam looked at his father. "Pa ..., you always feel so bad after?"

Ben put his hand on Adam's arm. "Adam, I hope you'll never feel good after."


	13. Chapter 13

How long he had been mucking out, he couldn't tell. However, it took longer than usual, because he had so many thoughts running through his head. Did he do the right thing yesterday? Would it had been better to ride back to town to get help? He and his father had gone to get the Sheriff, and Adam had to make a statement. After that he could ride home with Ben. His father hardly spoke to him on the way home, and Adam was quite glad about it. He didn't want to talk. In fact his only wish was to be left alone. To think it all over he would have liked to go to the creek, but his father and Marie didn't let him out of their sight all afternoon. So he stood in the barn and all the pictures of yesterday ran through his head.

Ben opened the barn door and saw Adam standing in a stall, leaning against the pitchfork and lost in thoughts. Should he have talked to him yesterday? He took a deep breath. No, he hadn't been ready for a talk yesterday. He had been too shocked by what had happened. It wasn't only the ambush he was concerned about, but also that his son had shot a man because of him. He still couldn't believe how cold-blooded Adam had stood in front of the stranger. What had shocked him most was the expression on his son's face. No emotion was to be seen when he pointed the gun at the man. Adam was plain cold. Hadn't he been afraid to shoot another man? Ben closed his eyes. With horror, he just thought that if Adam already used a gun so unemotionally, how might he be when got older? Ben didn't want to imagine that Adam would use his gun later without scruple. Ben had hoped so much that his son would handle death in a sensitive way, according to what he had already gone through. Had he been so mistaken? Was there such an anger in Adam towards other people and Ben hadn't just noticed? How could Adam say coldly that it wouldn't matter to him if his father might be shot? What should he tell him now? What could he tell him at all? Adam was already so well established in his points of view that Ben was surprised time and again.

With a deep breath, Ben turned to the wall of the stall. "Adam, how are you this morning?"

"Fine."

Did Ben really expect a different answer? Adam almost never talked about what he was thinking, or what he felt. Once again Ben felt a little jealousy towards Amarok, because he knew that Adam often first went to Koko's father with his problems. Marie had tried to reassure him that it wasn't the fact that Adam had no confidence in him, but for two that were as hardheaded as he and Adam, it would always be difficult to talk about their problems with each other.

"Adam, I'd like to know how you're feeling today."

Again his son started mucking out the stall. "I feel well, Pa. You don't have to worry. The most important thing is that nothing happened to you."

Ben went into the stall and took the pitchfork out of Adam's hand. "Adam, you don't want to tell me you don't care that you shot a man yesterday? You can't be so cold!"

Adam jerked the pitchfork back from his father's hand. "Pa, I'm fine. Would you've liked it better if I had watched you being killed for just a few dollars?"

"No, of course not! And I'm very grateful that you saved my life. But it scares me if you tell me seriously that what happened yesterday leaves you cold."

Adam didn't want to talk about it with his father. He didn't want to talk to him about his feelings. Not to his father. "Pa, please don't you worry about me. I'll get along."

Ben stood in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders. "Adam, I cannot and I will not imagine that it's not bothering you that you killed someone."

He looked in Adam's eyes. No, his son wasn't so cold. Although it took Ben a lot of willpower, the most important matter was that Adam could talk to someone about it. "I understand that you don't want to talk to me about it, but after breakfast you could ride to Koko and think about whether you want to talk to Amarok about yesterday. I guess it might help you to deal better with the incident."

Adam looked at him in astonishment. "You wouldn't mind if I talk to him and not to you?"

Deep inside Ben took a deep breath. It did bother him. "No,I won't mind. For me it's just important that you're talking to someone."

"Thanks, Pa."

He patted his son on the shoulder. "And now, son, you've got to get ready so that we can have breakfast."

Ben went to the door, as Adam addressed him one more time. "Pa ... .., I'm so sorry that it's easier for me to talk to Amarok about things than with you."

Ben smiled at his son. "It's fine, Adam. The only important thing is that you know you can always come to me."

"I know that, Pa."

Ben left the stable with a much better feeling than twenty minutes ago. He wasn't wrong about his son.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam couldn't deny to be a little nervous as he rode to Koko. He wasn't nervous because of the conversation with Amarok, but because of what Koko would say if she heard of yesterday. He knew what she thought about guns. Could she understand him, or would she see her opinion confirmed? He dismounted and knocked at the door. Aponi answered and looked at him in surprise. "Wynono, what are you doing here right now? Koko wanted to come to you all by herself but later. Something happened?"

He just didn't know what to say and so only looked at her. „Come on in!"

Adam wasn't quite inside, as Koko already came out of her room and looked at him just as amazed as her mother was. Adam put his hands in his pockets. He wasn't so sure anymore whether it had been a good idea to talk to Koko's father about it. His friend came to him and looked him straight in the eye. "Adam, what have you done?"

He winced and closed his eyes. How could she know in an instant he had done something? 'The truth is always worth it to be spoken. Never be afraid to shock.' But why did it get more and more difficult to tell her the truth? He didn't want her to be disappointed of him. "I've shot someone yesterday."

Koko covered her mouth with her hands and looked at him in shock. Adam saw her eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Koko. I had no choice."

She shouted at him. "There's always another solution. I told you that you should keep your hands off guns."

She shook her head and the tears ran down her cheeks. "And now? Do you think you're a man now? Invincible? Are you proud of yourself?"

He wanted to take her hand, but she pulled away. "Koko, I ..."

"Oh, just leave me alone, Adam Cartwright!"

She took her coat and ran out of the house. It had been clear to him that she wouldn't listen to him. Adam stood with his head bowed in the middle of the living room. It hurt him to see how much she suffered. Aponi said nothing, but took him in her arms. "Wynono, don't you worry. I'll go after her and talk to her. "

She stepped back and looked at Adam in concern. „How are you?"

"Is it bad if I say, I suffer more that Koko is mad at me than that I've shot the man?"

Aponi shook her head. "I assume that you had a reason why you did that."

Adam nodded. "This man was going to shoot my Pa."

Adam could see in Aponi's eyes that she was shocked, too. "Do you want to talk to Amarok, or did you already talk to your father about it?"He looked to the door. "Wynono, I'll explain it to her. I think at the moment she wouldn't listen to you." She touched his arm gently. "She has no problem with others wearing guns, Wynono, or defending themselves. She's just worried about you."

"I know. I am also afraid all the time that Mitch and Buck might hurt her."

"Amarok should be on his way back from the Gosiute. When you go to the village, you will surely meet him on his way back." She noticed Adam hesitating. "Go, and then you can talk to Koko."

Most of all he wanted to talk with his friend, but he realized that there was no point at the moment. Adam closed his jacket and went towards the village to find Amarok.

He reached the village of the Gosiute and wondered if he had missed Amarok. Then he saw Koko's father standing in the middle of the camp, and talking with his father, the chief of the tribe. Although Adam was not afraid to visit the village, as he had been here with Koko quite often, he didn't know if he should bother Amarok yet. Before he could make any decision, Koko's father had already seen him and waved him closer.

"Wynono, what led your steps to the village of the Gosiute? Are you looking for Koko?"

"No. I was looking for you, but ... " He looked at the chief. "When you're busy, I'll be back tomorrow."

Amarok's father looked at his son. "If your Chaska has found his way to our village deliberately, it must be important for his soul. You should talk to him."

"Come on, Wynono, let's go to the teepee."

They sat around the small fire pit and Amarok waited patiently until Adam was ready to talk to him. Adam looked into the flames, as he began to speak. "Yesterday I shot a man." Amarok didn't say anything. "The man wanted my father's payrolls and threatened to shoot him."

"Did you chose the easy way out?"

"In my eyes, there was no other way. Riding to the city or the Ponderosa would have been too far to get help."

"Do you think it was a fault to help your father?"

Adam raised his head and looked at Amarok. "No! It wasn't! I would do it again if I have to."

"And what concerns your soul now?"

Adam looked back into the fire. "I've kept in mind what you've taught me. I didn't let myself be distracted by emotions. Even though I was scared in the beginning I controlled my body as I stood right before the stranger. So it wasn't difficult to pull the trigger ..." Adam paused. ... and that's what makes me a little scared. It was so easy." He took a few deep breaths. "Amarok, is Koko right, and I'll shoot later everyone who provokes me without hesitation?"

"Wynono what would have happened if you hadn't defended yourself?"

Adam looked up again. "The man would have shot me and then my father for sure."

"What feelings did you have when you shot?"

Adam thought. As a matter of fact he had felt nothing at that moment. He only had kept an eye on what his opponent was doing, but he had no feelings. "I didn't feel anything. My emotions were in the background."

"No revenge? No fun?"

"No."

"Wynono, what are you afraid of? You've decided to help your father, because you've seen no other way out. You made that decision without anger or vengefulness. You felt no joy when you shot. You've defended yourself and your father. I've told you once, there are moments when you have to use force to achieve peace." Amarok let Adam time to think about his words and to understand them. "What did you feel when you saw the man lying dead on the ground?"

Adam still knew exactly what he had felt at that moment. "It hurt that the man had chosen this path, and I had no other way to prevent it."

"That what did hurt was your conscience, Wynono. Conscience is a small triangular thing in your heart. It stands still when you're good. If you do evil, it rotates, and the edges hurt. Worst of all, however, is if you're doing evil out of the wrong motives. Then the edges blunt and you won't feel the pain no longer." Through the fire he looked directly at Adam. "Yes, you've taken a life, but your motives for this were right. I am confident that you'll act wisely again if you have to make such a decision again."

"But how do I explain to my father that I was so unemotional in the moment I shot?"

"Time will do. Even your father will realize that you don't feed the wrong wolf in your heart." Amarok rose and held his hand out to Adam. "Wynono, I hope our talk helped you. We should go back to Aponi and Koko."

They left the village and returned in silence to the house. Adam stopped when he saw Koko standing in front. Amarok looked at him and smiled. "As I do know my daughter, she wasn't pleased about your message."

"No. I've caused a severe storm in her heart."

Amarok looked at Adam understanding. "My young warrior, two friends must resemble the heart, in everything else they may be completely different, and that is what my daughter has to learn. Now go to her."

Adam walked slowly to Koko, who came to meet him. She held out her hand and looked at him. "Friends?"

He smiled. "Friends!"

"Will you help me to saddle my horse, so that we can ride to the Ponderosa?"

"Of course!"

Hand in hand both ran to the barn.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, are you dreaming?"

Koko nudged Adam, who sat on the fence of the schoolyard. He startled so much that he almost fell of the fence. Laughing Koko was standing in front of him. „Just a penny for your thoughts!"

He grinned at her. „I surely won't tell you!"

She sat beside him on the fence. "Will you again stay longer at school today?"

"Mmm ... even the next week I'm going to stay longer every day. I shall not miss too much when I go to the cattle drive with my father in two weeks."

"Don't you remind me of that. You'll be away the whole summer holidays as well and that's so very long."

He put his arm around her shoulder and smiled at her. "Believe me, you're not going to be bored. When Hoss heard that we won't see each other for so long, he told me I should not be sad, cause he'd take care of you. And as I know him, he'll come to visit you every single day."

"What's so funny? I like Hoss and I'm glad if he comes to visit me. For he's not as impossible as you are at times."

"Oh, do I have to worry that you only have time for my brother, when I'm back?"

She slapped him cheekily on his leg. "That's exactely what I mean." They sat on the fence for a while, without saying anything and watched the other pupils in the yard. "Will you go every summer to the cattle drive with your father?"

"If he's satisfied with me this year, I assume so."

"I don't know. Sometimes I'm not looking forward to us getting older. What will be when we don't go to school any more and you really attend college?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Is it only me who listens to your father? You shall not worry about the future." Adam stretched out his arm and looked at the sky.

"Everything passes. The hours, the clouds in the sky, people's lives, gone from birth to death. Don't hang your heart on the way things go. That's a bad way of looking at the world. Make every second an enriching experience without worrying about the time that flies and the dawns that won't return. The present is the only thing that has no end."

Then he looked at her with loving eyes. "If so, I won't be leaving till at least three years. So we've got plenty of time to argue about anything you like."

She slapped him slightly on his arm and pushed him away. "Really, Adam Cartwright, you've developed a sense of humor, which requires me to get used to. How come that you can remember all the things my father said so precisely? Not even I manage to do it, and I'm with him every day."

He shrugged. "I don't know either. I find it easy to keep his words. Perhaps this is the reason why I can easily apply them."

They heard Mr. Conner ringing the bell; the break was over. "What are you doing tomorrow morning? Do you have to help with the preparations for your barbecue or do you have time?"

"I only have to take care of Little Joe and Hoss till our guests arrive. So if we want to do something together, I need to bring the two with me."

"So let's go fishing after breakfast." He looked at her skeptically. "But you know that it won't be as relaxed as with Hoss. With Little Joe you need eyes in the back of your head, he's just mischief."

"We'll manage that. So come on, or we will be told we're late again."

They jumped of the fence and ran into the classroom.

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Little Joe stomped his foot. "But I want to go into the water. Hoss could too."

After less than one hour at the creek Adam was already slightly annoyed with his little brother. "Little Joe, you can play at the water's edge. Hoss already can swim, you can't."

„I'm bored!"

Adam looked at the sky, trying to find his inner peace, which he, however, found was quite difficult when Little Joe was concerned. He was sure that Hoss never was so tiring. "You just wanted to look for stones in the water!"

„Nope!"

Adam looked with desperate glance at Koko, who was sitting with Hoss at the water's edge fishing. "Do you need some help?"

"Yes, and you needn't to grin like that. You have no idea how lucky you are, that you have no brothers or sisters."

She stood in front of him and put her hands on the sides. Oh, and what did I do the last seven years?"

"You can't compare Hoss and Little Joe. Hoss could spend hours watching bugs while Little Joe wants to make something new every five minutes."

She still grinned at Adam and took Little Joe by the hand. "Come on, Little Joe, let's go and look for some crabs."

Adam sat down next to Hoss and looked at the water. "Are you glad that you're soon on the cattle drive with Pa for quite a long time?"

"Oh yes! That sure will be as then when we were on our way to the west. I know it's hard work, but I hope that we'll have time to talk again." Adam looked at his brother. "What's the matter Hoss? You look so sad."

"Well, it's the first time you'll be away for so long. With whom shall I talk when I'm teased at school, or if we have a summer storm. What should I do then?"

Adam knew exactly what his brother meant. Too clear was the memory when his father had gone to New Orleans and had left him alone with his brother. And Hoss was still two years younger than he was at that time. "You're not alone. Mum is there, and she listens always to you, and I'm sure if there is a thunderstorm, Joe and you can get to her."

"But that's not the same."

"Hoss, at the end of summer vacation, I'm back and the cattle drive won't start for two weeks. Then it's only a week till holidays start. Moreover, even Koko is there. She'll help you in school, for sure, and during the holidays you wanted to visit her, didn't you? If you are lucky, Amarok has got new horses." He looked at his brother with a grin. "Koko and you always like to work with them. You two got a very different sense for animals, than I have."

Now Hoss could smile again. "Yes, that's true. You can't really talk to animals. And you're still afraid of snakes."

Adam grimaced. "You need not to be friends with each and every animal. It is enough if one of our family does this."

"You ain't mad if I spend the holidays with Koko?"

"Why should I?"

"Well, Brian says that Koko is your girlfriend, and you'd shoot anyone who will come close to her, and no other should spend time with her."

Adam had to laugh. "You don't believe this nonsense?!"

Slightly embarrassed Hoss splashed with his feet in the water. "Of course the shooting I don't, but ... well ... we all know that you and Koko ..., Brian said, when you come too late from the break that you've been surely behind the school shed to ... umm, to ..., you know what I mean."

Red-faced Hoss looked at his brother and saw him shaking his head. "Hoss, you shouldn't believe what you hear from Brian. Anyone who wants to, can spend time with Koko, if SHE wants that. I'm the last person she'd have to ask permission for. So enjoy the summer holidays with Koko and the horses, beetles or by me, with the snakes."

Hoss looked at him still and Adam could see that he wanted to ask something more. "What else, Hoss?"

"Well, is it true that you're going behind the shed with Koko?"

Adam laughed out loud. "Hoss, concentrate on your fishing pole. Everything else is only Koko's and my concern."

"Are you angry now?"

Adam stood up. "Why should I? But Hoss, don't believe everything Brian tells you."

Adam walked along the banks of the creek towards Koko and Little Joe, who still searched for crabs among the rocks. As he got closer, he saw that his little brother was standing in the water, crying. With a worried expression he reached the two. As Little Joe saw his brother, he started sobbing right away. "He pinched me."

He showed Adam his slightly bleeding finger. "It's not bad, Adam. It was only a small crab and Little Joe wouldn't listen when I said that the crab doesn't want to be disturbed."

Adam knelt down and looked at the finger. "Didn't you listen once again, Joe? You really need to learn. You must think first, before you do something or it might turn out wrong some fine day."

Adam wet his hand and then wiped of the blood from Little Joe's finger. It was really just a small scar and would certainly stop bleeding in a few moments. He kissed the small wound, stood up again and stroked Little Joe's hair. "What about we see what Hop Sing has packed for us for lunch?"

Little Joe's eyes brightened instantly and he ran to be the first to examine the saddlebags.

"Honestly Koko, I think your father shouldn't worry so much about me, but about Little Joe."

She laughed out loud. "Oh no, Adam! Believe me, your brother's a cute little buddy, but he wouldn't understand a word of what my father might tell him. For this he simply got no patience. Little Joe is like a wild bronco, that can never be broken, because it cannot be caught, but he also has a good heart, like your whole family."

"Then we should hurry before the wild bronco has spread the entire contents of the bags on the ground."

On the way to Little Joe Adam wondered why he had ever thought that he would never feel comfortable in Nevada.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam quietly shut the door of Little Joe's room. Already in the corridor he could hear the voices of the neighbors who had all come to join the barbecue on the Ponderosa. Adam loved these parties at the ranch. He ran down the stairs and was glad to spend the rest of the evening only with Koko, without keeping an eye on his little brother all the time. Half way down the stairs he stopped. In the living room his father was standing obviously waiting for him. At his view Adam could tell that he must have been annoyed about something. As he walked slowly down the stairs, he thought about what he might have done wrong today. "Is your brother asleep?"

Yes, very quickly. I hadn't even read three pages, when he was already asleep."

"And what do you want to do now?"

Adam still had no idea what his father was up to. "Actually I wanted to go to Koko."

"Adam, I thought we already had a talk about how to deal with young girls."

"Yes, Sir. We had."

Adam realized that his father was restraining himelf, so not to yell at him. "And why did I have to learn from Brian's father right now that you don't stick to it in school?"

Adam still didn't understand what he did wrong, so he shrugged. "Pa, I really don't know what you mean."

Ben breathed deeply, glanced up and looked at him again. "Adam ..., Koko will soon turn fourteen and surely you have noticed that she's no longer the little girl from last summer."

Adam wondered what his father probably wanted to hear from him. Of course, he had noticed that, he had eyes in his head. But he certainly wouldn't talk about that to his father, so he said nothing.

"I expect my sons to behave decently. If you want to meet Koko alone furthermore, you have to stick to it."

Ben was annoyed that he had to have this conversation with his son today. The evening had started so well, till Brian's father had appealed to him. Adam still looked at him with wide eyes, saying nothing. In Ben's head was the replay of Marie's words, who said that he should show understanding for Adam and not yell at him again. "Adam, I'm plain disappointed of you."

"Pa, can you please tell me what I did wrong?"

"Brian has told his father that you and Koko are always coming late from the break at school because you're behind the school shed with her, and we both know exactly what you're doing there. It's not pleasant to be asked whether we will celebrate the wedding the Indian way."

Adam put his hands in his pockets and tried to swallow his anger at Brian. Hoss's friend gossiped more than any other from town. "Pa, my only hope is that you believe me. Koko and I were only three times late because we missed time. But not because we were behind the shed, but only because we had a talk. Pa, I'd never behave wrongly towards Koko."

"Adam, you're both no little kids anymore." Adam went silent again. "I think it's better to take Hoss along with you, if you meet her hereafter."

Now Adam wasn't only angry at Brian. "Pa, I don't need a chaperone! If I tell you, I know how to behave, that should be it!"

Ben went louder, too. "Don't raise your voice to me, son!"

Adam took his hands out of his pockets and walked to the fireplace, trying to find his inner peace. With moderate success. He felt his father putting a hand on his shoulder. "Adam, if you're telling me I can trust you, I believe you. But I don't want Koko to get a bad reputation because some people tell gossip. If you shall not meet her alone, I only think of Koko."

But Pa ..., I don't want to have Hoss with me all the time when I'd like to have a talk with Koko."

"Let's talk calmly tomorrow about how to deal with the situation, because the guests and Koko are waiting for us. But Adam ... " Now Ben looked at him seriously. "... promise me that tonight you're just always near other people."

"Promised!"

"So let's go and have fun!"

He opened the door and both went out to the guests.


	15. Chapter 15

They were now on the way for two weeks and Adam slowly got used to the work on the trail. On the first days they had set a fast pace to drive the cattle off of the Ponderosa, so that they wouldn't return to those familiar pastures. Adam had the task to ride at the end of the herd to take care of the stragglers and strays. Until now he had never swallowed so much dust, as in those early days. Also he was sure that he could feel every single bone in his body.

After the first week his period of grace was over, and he had to take over the night watch, too. If he hadn't known yet, what it meant to be tired, he had now experienced it firsthand. When they changed watch at dawn, he was no longer able to eat anything, but fell into a deep sleep instantly. He quickly had to learn that it was a mistake, not to eat thereafter. He was awakened and had little time to pack his things, before they started again, and he had to take his place at the end of the herd again. The next meal was but hours later. Adam couldn't even speak much with his father. When they sat by the fire in the evening, he was too done to want to talk at all.

George had hired some cowboys for the trail, who didn't make Adam's first cattle drive much easier. While the men of the Ponderosa accepted him, the others watched Adam only as the son of the boss, who was too young for a trail in their eyes.

Everything Adam had learned from George and Amarok in recent years, he tried to use, and so he actually had no problems with his work. More with the fact that it was physically very demanding, and at that noone could help him. He'd also be careful to tell that he was so deadbone tired that he just wanted to get back into his bed. The constant teasing of the cowboys he put off by trying to find his inner peace, which wasn't quite easy with the lack of sleep. On his return, he wanted to ask for Amarok's advice how he could handle such situations more easily.

Adam was getting his horse ready when George came to his side. "Morning, Adam. Are you ready and above all did you eat something? "

Adam tightened the cinch and looked at the foreman with tired eyes. "Yes, I had watch till two, then I slept a few hours, now I've eaten a bit."

"A bit? Boy, you need to eat when you got the opportunity to do so and then eat enough. Otherwise you won't stick out the trail. So far, everything has gone smoothly, but believe me, it'll be really difficult when the weather turns out bad, and you don't come out of the saddle."

"I'm trying, but I'm not really hungry at times."

"It's common because your body is tired, but then you have to force yourself. I know it's hard, but believe me ... "

Now he grinned at Adam."...after your fifth trail you get used to it."

Adam looked at him in dismay. "Only after the fifth?"

George mounted his horse still grinning at him. "Get up on your horse! This morning you'll ride with me to look out for suitable sleeping places and watering holes."

Adam got on his horse groaning inwardly. Although he wouldn't have to swallow so much dust today, riding with George meant he wouldn't come out of the saddle for just a minute. And if he had to take the first watch, he wouldn't be able to rest until late at night.

They rode for a while and Adam was happy that he could easily follow up his thoughts, and didn't have to watch out for any cattle.

"Hey, son, don't fall asleep on the horse. Even if you don't have to watch out for strays now, you got to stay focused. If you take over my job one day, you're responsible for a whole herd of nervous cattle. You always have to know what's ahead of you, so that you're ready if necessary. You mustn't miss a watering hole, you need to know what other animals are there to find. A little carelessness and your herd will be frightened because of a flock of ducks at the waterhole, then you got a wonderful stampede."

Adam wasn't quite sure about ever going on a trail again. He sat up straight in the saddle, trying to tell his bones that all this would come to an end sometime.

„Won't happen again!"

"It's okay, son. No one expects you to do everything right at your first trail. You're doing very good so far, and I think very highly of you that you don't whine, but finish all work asked of you. Each of us has gone through hell during his first cattle drive, and for you it's even more difficult, because you're the son of the boss. Believe me, I'm quite aware how you get treated by the other cowboys and you did well that you didn't get yourself provoked. So they realize, that you don't allow hard conditions to get you down. They will still plan other things, and then you must show them that you're not a kid any more."

Even Adam had noticed that they no longer made any stupid comments as much. Sometimes his saddle wasn't in its place any more, when he came back from having his meal. Sometimes some cattle was driven away deliberately, to see if he was watching out and not dreaming in the saddle. But what could he do? If he picked an argument with the ringleader of the hired cowboys, he'd hardly stand a chance. That would be far away from any schoolyard brawl. He wasn't sure if he could apply to an adult man what he had learned from Amarok. George realized exactly what was going on in Adams head.

"Don't you worry, son. I'll keep an eye on you, but you have to prove yourself. I cannot take it on for you, but I'll take care to ensure that everything is fair."

"Thanks, George. For everything, even for what you've taught me over the past years."

George nodded and nudged his horse a trot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had made almost half of the way. The pace wasn't as fast as during the first few weeks. Now Adam rode on the edge of the herd, thus he no longer swallowed as much dust as before, however nothing else had been changed at his job. He still had to take care that no cattle left the herd, if this happened, he drove it back.

The cattle had just been watered at a waterhole and moved slowly on grazing. Adam looked back and saw Doug seperating about ten cattle from the herd and driving them back towards the waterhole. Immediately he turned his horse around and was at Doug's side a few moments later.

"If you think that I'll bring them back, you're wrong. I've just seen that you've separated them deliberately so you'll pick them up again."

Doug leaned forward in the saddle and fixed Adam with his eyes. "And why do you think that I'll do that?"

Adam rode closer to Doug. "Because I say so."

Doug grinned at him and looked at the other cowboys who were close to him. "Can you prove that you have the say? For I don't listen to kids!"

Adam knew exactly what Doug meant. "If you're sure that you can stand it?"

Doug laughed out loud and Adam turned his horse away from the herd. At some distance he dismounted and waited for Doug and the others. Till the cowboy was with him, he tried to recall again everything he had learned. Controll breathing. Repress emotions and wait for the first step of your opponent. Doug dismounted and stood in front of Adam. "Not that you run crying to your daddy hereafter!"

Adam didn't answer. He waited. "What's going on, boy? You wetting yourself?"

Doug stood quite close to Adam and pretended smelling him. Laughing he turned his head to the other cowboys. "Oh yes, I can clearly smell."

He was about to turn back to Adam, when he went to his knees. Adam had hit him with his fist in the belly. Doug tried to breathe again and stood up. He threw his body against Adam. Both fell to the ground. Adam tried to get away from Doug. He knew in a direct encounter with Doug he wouldn't stand a chance. As Doug still gasped, Adam was faster back on his feet. Kneeling Doug tried to get hold on Adam's belt. However, Adam turned around and sent Doug to the ground again with a right hook. After that he went back on distance to the cowboy. Adam breathed. He was aware that he had been just lucky. If Doug was going to breathe easy again, he would have to withstand all his fury. He hadn't to wait for long. Very quickly Doug was back on his feet again and went furiously on Adam right away. He was very fiercely, but not as naive as Mitch and Buck. Adam could indeed turn aside, but still got a blow in the belly. Instantly he realized that it was a different kind than the blows he had to put up with in the schoolyard. He hadn't got over the first blow, since Doug slammed him again, and Adam staggered backwards, but didn't go down. The only good thing was that he had some distance to his opponent again. Adam heard one of the other cowboys yelling.

"Hey, Doug, what's going on! The boy's still standing! I thought one blow and he's got no teeth any more!"

The laughter of the other men made Doug even more furious. Again he ran against Adam. But instead of waiting until he was next to him, Adam approached him, turned and bent slightly so that Doug bounced off his shoulder and went back to the ground. The force of the impact was so strong that Adam briefly gasped. He put his hands on his knees and tried to catch up again. He, however, didn't pay attention to the fact that Doug was back and hit him in the face with a sharp blow. Adam fell backward. He hadn't reached the ground when Doug was on him and struck at his chest. In Doug's face he could see a dirty grin. He wouldn't cope with those strokes for much longer. Without thinking about it, he jerked his head forward and met Doug's nose. Blood spurted Adam's face. Doug rolled to the side and held his nose with both hands. Adam remained lying on the ground, because he had no strength left to stand up.

"Oh boy! Where did you learn to fight like that?"

Adam turned his head and watched Doug, sitting next to him. "From such twits as you are."

Doug stood up, reached out his hand and pulled Adam up. "Gosh, I don't want you as an enemy, Cartwright."

Adam grinned. But only to show how little his face and his body hurt. "Doug, stop talking! I've given you an order."

Doug hit Adam on the back. "But not that you're being demanding about it."

"And if so you'll surely be the first that brings me back to the ground."

Laughing Doug went to his horse going to drive the strays back. Adam also mounted his horse and returned to his place at the edge of the herd.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam sat by the fire and tried to eat, when George sat next to him. "To grow up can be painful."

„Yep!"

"The rest of the trail will be a walkover for you, but don't learn too much from Doug. Especially when we are in town at the end of the trail."

"I will certainly not."

George stood up again and returned to his men. As Adam brought his dishes to the kitchen wagon, his father was waiting for him. "Do we need to talk about it?"

"Nope. It's all cleared up."

His father smiled at him. "And what do you think? Would you sit near the fire with your old dad, or do you want to lie down right now?"

"Of course, with pleasure. Today I have no night watch."

Until close to midnight both sat by the fire, something they hadn't done for a long time and had a very pleasant talk.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After six weeks, they had reached their destination. As George had mentioned the last part was indeed a walkover concerning the relationship with the other cowboys. But regarding the chores it had been hell again. Either the sun burned without mercy or it rained all day. One night they had their hands full when the cattle was about to stampede due to a thunderstorm.

In the afternoon Adam went to town with his father to settle the last matters of sale and to receive the money. Fo the first time he was in one of the so-called cattle towns and didn't know where to look first. Everywhere cowboys of different trails could be seen, celebrating the end of the cattle drive. There were also more shops than in Virginia City. Adam was looking forward to the evening, when he was allowed to go to town with all the others. Ben put the proceeds of the sale into his saddle bag and noticed the wide eyes of his son. Most of all he didn't like Adam to go to town with the cowboys today. But after all the exhausting weeks and the good job his son had done, he couldn't stop him.

"Adam, please promise me that you're not up to any nonsense this evening. After an hour most men here have drunk half their wages and will be just looking for a reason to vent their anger on someone. I don't want you to be dragged into anything."

"I'll watch out. I've discovered a bookstore over there. I think I'll spend most of the time there."

Ben couldn't quite believe it, but he hoped that Adam wouldn't be talked into going to a saloon by the others.

"Just remember that you're back in the camp at ten. I wouldn't leave you here alone in the town any longer."

"I'll be back in time."

Ben prayed that he wouldn't regret in the morning, that he already had taken Adam on the cattle drive this year.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam tied up his horse and wanted to go to the bookstore, when he was detained by Doug.

"Hey, Cartwright where are you going? That's the way to the saloon!"

Adam knew that if he told him right now that he wanted to buy books, he would have to listen to stupid comments during the next few days.

"I'm not even allowed to go to the saloon."

"Of course you're going! You look quite older than fifteen. Come on! We'll show you what a fun you can have after the trail."

Adam hesitated briefly, but his curiosity was just too big. So they entered the saloon and sat at a table. Adam was much too nervous to say anything. It was very loud and it reeked of alcohol and cigars. As his father had told him, many of the men were already very drunk. One of the cowboys put a beer in front of Adam. Doug raised his glass.

"To a good end and to our young friend, who will be a big cowboy one day." He took a swig, looking at Adam. "Come on, Cartwright. There's always a first time."

Adam took the glass and drank his first beer in a saloon.

"That's right! Now fun can start! Ladies, join us, tonight we wanna have fun!"

Before Adam could even react one of the girls sat on his lap. "Cartwright, what's wrong? Why this startled look? You have fought dust, cattle and me, then you will surely cope with a sweet gal."

The girl began to play around with the buttons of Adam's shirt. Adam didn't know where to look or what to do. "Lady, be kind to our boy! As it looks like he can handle cattle much better than women. Cartwright, it's like drinking beer. Take a deep breath and get to it. Then you feel great."

"Now that's something cute. Not these dirty drunken cowboys all the time. Sweetheart, you don't need to be afraid. I'll be very nice to you."

Adam couldn't help but start to sweat and it wasn't due to the heat prevailling in the saloon. The saloon girl put her hands behind his head, pulling him closer and kissing him. At first he was surprised that she didn't simply kiss him on the lips, but her tongue rather playing with his, however after a short time he couldn't deny that he liked what she was doing with him. Adam wasn't aware when George joined them at the table and tapped the girl on the shoulder.

"Honey, I think that's enough."

Sadly she ended the kiss and looked at the foreman of Ponderosa.

"That we should leave to the young man, right?"

"Boss, let Cartwright have some fun!"

"I think for his first trail he had enough fun."

George put the girl a few dollar bills in the neckline. "Just get us another round of beer, the rest you can keep."

She looked smiling at the money and kissed Adam again. "Looking forward to seeing you again next year, young cowboy."

She stood up and fetched the men another beer.

"Doug, what do you think of trying your luck at a poker game with your guys in the next room, and I take care of Adam?"

Grinning Doug took his glass and he and his men left the table. George toasted to Adam. "To your good job, son."

Both emptied their glasses before he continued.

"I'm sorry that I spoiled your fun, but you shouldn't learn everything on your first cattle drive. Remember what you promised your father. Two beers and a girl on your lap are enough for your first saloon visit."

Adam wasn't angry with the foreman. The only thing he found somehow bad was that George hadn't come five minutes later; he would have just enjoyed the fun a bit longer. Grinning, he pushed back his chair and stood up.

"So I'll do, what I came to town for. See you tomorrow, George."

George leaned back in his chair and grinned at Adam, too.

"See you, Adam!"


	16. Chapter 16

Koko and Hoss stood with the horses and waited for Adam, who came slowly out of the school building. "Adam, come on, let's go. I'm hungry."

Hoss gave his brother an impatient look, as Adam put his books in the saddlebag. "You can already ride on. I'll follow later."

Koko gave him a questioning look. "How come? Today it's not Thursday. So you ain't staying longer at Mr. Conner."

Adam scratched his head slightly embarrassed. "No, I'm not in for an extra hour. I ... well ... I'm only bringing Betty home." Koko crossed her arms. "Again? Does she again have so much to carry today?"

Adam grinned. "I guess so."

"Well, in that case we go with you, and then we can ride home together."

Hoss laughed loudly and Adam looked at his friend in alarm. "No, no, there's no need. You can already leave with Hoss."

Koko looked from Adam to Hoss. "Can you tell me what's so funny?"

Hoss blushed and tried not to look at his brother. "Well, because ..."

"Hoss, shut up!"

"Hoss, keep talking!"

Hoss looked at the ground not knowing what to do now.

„Adam! You're coming?" Betty stood in front of the school building and looked on Adam, who waved at her briefly, but then turned his attention to Koko and Hoss again.

„I've to go now!"

"Betty doesn't live so far from here that we couldn't wait. And it doesn't seem as if she's got a lot to carry."

Adam cursed inwardly. Why didn't Koko understand him. Hoss tugged at Koko's sleeve. "Come on, Koko. Let's just ride off."

Koko looked at him in disbelief. Then her eyes slowly returned to Adam. "No, Adam ..., not Betty. She doesn't suit you. She'll leave school after summer." She glanced at Betty. "You're too young for her."

"Koko, you don't understand that."

"No, you're right, because you said all these years, she's plain stupid."

Hoss laughed again. "Yes, Adam still says that. But she must be a good kisser."

Angry Adam looked at Hoss. „Gosh, Hoss! Can't you just shut up!"

Koko went a step toward Adam. "Oh no, Adam. Don't tell me that's the reason why you bring her home so often! I thought you learnt the affair with Claire."

Sometimes Adam could have strangled Hoss. He never could keep his mouth shut! Of course, it had been clear to him that Koko wouldn't approve of his behavior. She couldn't understand that he occasionally met with other girls without having great feelings for them. Again and again she had explained to him that he only should kiss a girl, if their hearts beat in the same rhythm. When Adam had told her, that this wasn't quite important to him, she had been mad at him for more than a week. Adam was sure that she only had apologized to him because she had talked with Aponi. Thereafter, they hadn't talked about it any more, and Adam tried to avoid her knowing when he had a date.

"Koko, I don't have to ask you with whom I can date."

"No, you don't have to, but you cannot expect me not to tell you what I'm thinking of. I don't know what you have experienced the last year at the cattle drive, but since you've picked up some habits that aren't ok, especially your handling of girls."

Deep inside Adam knew she was right. He didn't always behave truly in this regard. But why not taking an opportunity when offered. "I think you're just jealous, Koko."

Stunned, she looked at him. "I am WHAT? Dream on, Adam Cartwright! "

She grabbed Hoss's sleeve and pulled him to the horses. "Come on Hoss, let's go home. I swear to you, Hoss, if you are like your brother some day you'll get into trouble with me."

Without saying anything, Hoss mounted and followed Koko. Adam took the reins of his horse and went to Betty, although the desire had passed to bring her home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam was on his way home and his mood hadn't improved much when he had accompanied Betty. She had moaned that she likely would be looking for another guy who would take her home in future if he always was thinking of Koko.

„ADAM!"

He turned in the saddle and saw Marie galloping up on her horse. Adam stopped and waited until she reached him. "Hello Adam. Where are Hoss and Koko?"

"They've already ridden ahead."

She looked at him sympathetically. „Did you have a dispute again?"

Adam shrugged. "So yes. What was it this time?"

They both rode on slowly. "As you don't answer me, I guess, it was about the fact that you meet other girls."

Adam grinned. "I see, I'm right."

"We just have differing views on how to properly ... talk."

Marie grinned at him because she understood perfectly what he meant. "This is quite normal at your age, Adam. You'll see, in one or two years you'll handle things differently. Adam, you both share a very special relationship. Each of you pay attention to the other and this from the very start of your friendship. Koko only wants that you're fine and you're happy. If you always ... talk with different girls, there might be trouble ahead for you some day. Because she knows that, she wants to protect you against this."

"But it's usually so simple. I needn't to say much and then ... "

Marie had to smile. "You're just no longer the little boy of the Ponderosa. Since last year, you've grown into a handsome young man. You'll turn sixteen next month, but you could be considered for two, three years older. The girls in school can see that, too." She smiled at him. "I can understand that you feel flattered and want to try yourself, but you should really watch out. Always remember that you have to live with the consequences of your actions. Sometimes it won't remain just ... talking and I think about you should consider this. As Koko always says so true, 'Two hearts should beat in the same rhythm'. "

Adam looked at her in astonishment. "Yes, she talked to me. She wanted to understand why you had changed quite a bit lately."

"And I thought she was talking to her mother."

Marie stopped her horse and waited until Adam stood beside her. Then she put her hand on his arm. "Adam, don't be so impatient. You want to go to the university in two years. Don't ruin your prospects for the future because you want to grow up quickly. Just take your time till you meet the one who deserves that you give her your heart."

He knew that she was right just like Koko. He had only searched for his fun. Otherwise he had actually had nothing in common with the girls. When he had told Claire that he had no desire to meet her in future, she was so mad at him that she had stirred up her brothers against him, and he was just glad Tom was with him that day and they gained the upper hand over them. He really had lost interest in such experiences.

"Thanks, Mum. I'll think about your words."

Marie sat up straight and smiled at Adam. "Well, then we can make a race back home now."

Adam looked at the road and then to Marie. "Shouldn't we rather let it be? The ground is so muddy from thawed snow and at some places there are still icy."

She laughed and winked at him. "Oh, come on. I think you want to be a wild chap, then show it now."

Without waiting for Adam, she set her horse into a gallop. Adam followed her, but unlike Marie he tried to pay attention to the ground. This way of course he had no chance to win the race. He was almost three horse lengths behind her when they reached the Ponderosa. Adam rode past the barn when he saw Marie joyfully raise her arm. She tore the horse around with full force.

„WON!"

In slow motion Marie's horse slipped on the muddy ground. She couldn't hold on to the saddle any longer and fell heavily to the ground.

„MUM!"

Adam jumped out of the saddle and ran to Marie. He took the reins and tried to get the horse back on its feet, which was lying on her. At once he saw that it had a broken leg. Adam gave him a pat anyway so it hobbled on a few meters. Then he knelt on Marie's side who lay absolutely motionless on the ground. He shook her by the shoulder.

"Mum, say something! Please, open your eyes!"

Ben just pulled off his jacket when he heard Marie. He opened the door and his heart stopped when he saw how she fell to the ground buried under her horse. His head told him to go out and help her instantly, but his legs wouldn't move. Only when Adam helped Marie's horse getting up, Ben was able to move. He ran to his wife and knelt beside her on the ground.

„MARIE…!"

Although one look was enough to see that she was dead, her neck broken, he grabbed Adam by the collar and yelled at him.

"Don't sit around! Ride into town! Get the doctor!"

Adam looked at him wide-eyed.

„Pa, is she …...?"

"ADAM, GET THE DOCTOR !"

Adam jumped up and rode as fast as he could, into town. Ben knew how useless it was that he had sent Adam. He took his wife in his arms and let his tears flow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was raining the day Marie was buried. On one hand Adam held Little Joe, on the other Hoss. His father had hardly exchanged a word with him since the accident. He just wanted to know from Adam, how the fall could happen. Many neighbors came to the funeral, even Koko with her parents was there. His father spoke to noone, and so Adam thanked everyone for coming. As Aponi said goodbye to him, she told him that he could come to them with his brothers any time and if Ben wanted she could as well come to the Ponderosa if she might be of help this way. Adam thanked her and let himself take in a short embrace. Once they were back at the Ponderosa, Ben went back to his room almost at once. First Adam stood somewhat helplessly in the living room with Hoss and Little Joe, but when the door to his father's room slammed, he knew Pa wouldn't come down the next time.

"Take off your jackets. I'll check what Hop Sing has made us for supper."

Hop Sing had left for town after the funeral with the good intention to let the family grieve in peace, and wanted to come back during the day tomorrow. So Adam quickly grabbed the food, Hop Sing had already provided and brought it to the dining room. Then the three sat at the table and poked around at their food.

"Adam? ... is Mum now with Hoss's and your mum?"

Adam swallowed and looked up the stairs. Why was it up to him to sit here and answer Joe's questions? Why couldn't his father be with his kids?

"Yes, they are all together now and watch us."

"Do you think they like each other?"

"Of course, Joe. All three were wonderful and loving."

"Will it stop hurting when we think of them?"

"It's going to hurt for a while, Hoss, but in time it'll get better. Then we will be able to talk with a smile about our mums."

Now Hoss looked to the stairs. "Will it even get better with Pa?"

Adam was glad that he had learned to keep his soul in balance so well, otherwise a few inappropriate words would have slipped out regarding his father. "I think Pa will be back with us tomorrow."

"Will he be back and talk to us?"

Little Joe looked at him sadly. Adam slid back his chair and spread his arms. "Come to me, Little Joe."

His little brother stood up, sat down on Adam's lap and began to cry. "He's back tomorrow to talk to you, I'm sure."

"Can we sleep in your bed tonight, Adam?"

"Of course, Hoss. Also the next few days, if you want to."

Hoss stood up and Adam took him in his arms, too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam had waited until Little Joe had fallen asleep. Even with Hoss he could see that it wouldn't be long until his eyes closed. Then he went down to clean up and put out the light. Surprised, he remained on the landing, when he saw his father in front of the fireplace. He walked slowly down the last few steps. His father turned around and looked at him grimly.

„Are you happy now?" Uncomprehendingly Adam looked at him. Ben came up to him and spoke in a low, but serious voice. "I asked you whether you're happy now?"

Adam's voice was low, too. "I don't know what you're talking about, Pa?"

"You haven't liked her from the very start. You've rejected her from day one. You must be happy now that she's dead."

Adam closed his eyes and told himself that his father didn't know himself at this moment of pain and anger, and so he couldn't actually care for anyone else. In his anger, which was accompanied by fear, he shot arrows, without paying attention to his goal. Adam tried not to take his father's words personally.

"That's not true and you know it."

When his father yelled at him all of a sudden, he stumbled a few steps back in shock.

"YOU HAVE HER ON YOUR CONSCIENCE!"

Adam had to pull himself together again to answer to his father. "Pa, please stop it."

"WHAT SHOULD I STOP? I'M TELLING THE TRUTH! YOU ALWAYS FIND IT IMPORTANT TO TELL THE TRUTH AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

Adam's heart beat faster. He had to use all his strength not to yell at his father.

"It was an accident, Pa."

NO IT WASN'T! IT WAS SURE YOUR IDEA TO MAKE A RACE IN THIS KIND OF WEATHER!"

Adam stood up close to his father. "I'll go to bed now, Pa. I know that you're not serious about what you just said. But I hope tomorrow you're back for Joe and Hoss, because they need you now."

His father was still full of anger and sadness.

"DO YOU WANT THAT? SHOULD I TELL THAT YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR THE DEATH OF THEIR MOTHER?"

„Pa? ...Adam?... "

Adam turned and saw Hoss with anxious and tearful eyes standing at the stairs. Again Adam startled when his father yelled.

„HOSS, GO TO BED …... NOW!"

Hoss looked at his father startled, then turned around and ran into Adam's room. Now Adam's control was over its limit. He turned around, pushed his father with both hands so hard that Ben staggered back a few steps.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MISERABLE FATHER YOU ARE? YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO'S GRIEVING. I'M ASHAMED OF YOU AND MARIE WOULD JUST FEEL THE SAME."

Adam had expected everything, but not that his father would hit him in the face with his fist. The force of the blow turned Adam around and he could prevent himself from falling because he clung to the banisters. He needn't to touch his lip to know that it was bleeding. Adam turned his head backwards. His father stood there with pale face and drooping shoulders and looked at him. Without saying anything else, Adam went up the stairs when he heard his father calling to him in a low voice.

"Adam, please wait ...!"

But he didn't want to wait. Adam shut his door and washed the blood from his face at the washtub. Then he put on his nightie and went to his brothers. "Adam, did Pa hit you?"

"Hoss, everything will be fine again. You'll see. Pa will join us for breakfast tomorrow. Therefore quickly close your eyes and sleep."

Hoss looked at Adam for a while, but Adam only starred at the ceiling. Then he turned and whispered. "Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Hoss."

For a long time Adam lay looking at the ceiling. He firmly believed that tomorrow his father would be his old self again. His look after the blow had been one of horror for what he had done to Adam.

That night Adam didn't sleep well and it was just before dawn when he got up again and got dressed. He quietly left the room and went downstairs. Astonished his eyes fell on the already set table. When he was standing right in front of it, his confusion became even greater. There were only three seats on the table and his own place was left out. On the plate of his father was a letter with his name on it. Adam took the envelope and opened it.

My dear Adam,

I'm heartbroken about what happened last night.

However, it showed me that at the moment I'm not able to take care of Hoss, Joseph and the ranch.

Please understand that I need a break to cope with Marie's death.

Hugs to Hoss and Joseph

Adam had to read the letter again and again until he finally could believe what his father had written him. He had done it again. Adam exhaled and couldn't believe it. His father had really done it again. He had again left him in charge of his dream. How did he imagine it to work? Had his father had any thought about how Adam could manage that? How could he take care of Little Joe and the ranch and go to school? He could feel the wall growing he had built to protect himself from his feelings years ago. Adam had to be strong for his two little brothers so they didn't realize how great his anger at his father was. He would cope with everything that might approach him. Adam looked at his watch and knew he had to hurry to wake Hoss, so he could leave for school in time. He took his jacket and made his way to the barn.


	17. Chapter 17

„Hoss! Wake up!"

Slightly Adam touched his brother's shoulder. Slowly Hoss opened his eyes and looked at Adam.

"You have to get up. Get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast then. But be quiet so Little Joe doesn't wake up."

Hoss nodded, and Adam left the room. Hoss looked out the window. It was dusk and he could hear that it was raining gently. At this moment, the memory of the events of yesterday came back. The funeral, that his Pa hadn't come down all afternoon, and the loud quarrel with Adam. He hadn't understood exactly what it was about. Why would Adam be to blame for the death of his mum? His brother had told him that it was an accident. But then why was Pa so mad at Adam? Why hadn't he talked with Little Joe and him since the accident? What more did happen last night? Why Adam had bled yesterday? When he had woken him, Hoss had seen that Adam's face still was bloodshot and swollen. Then Hoss recalled what Adam had told him yesterday in bed. With a smile on his face, he jumped out of bed. Adam had said, today everything would be fine again. Pa would join them for breakfast and talk to them all. So he hurried to get washed and dressed and ran downstairs.

Like Adam in the morning, he stopped at the foot of the stairs. The table was set, but noone was sitting at their places. When he went on he was surprised that only three plates were on the table.

"Hoss, sit down, I made a hot chocolate for you."

Adam came from the kitchen, put a cup and a plate of scrambled eggs at his place and sat down, too. Still slightly confused Hoss sat down on his chair.

"Where's Pa? Why are you sitting at his place?" Hoss looked around in the house. "You said that he would join us for breakfast."

Adam smiled at him. "Yes that's true. That's what I said. Pa had to leave early this morning, but I shall give you Pa's regards!"

"Where did he have to go so early?"

Adam hated to lie, but what could he tell his brothers? He couldn't tell them that their father had just left, and he had no idea where he had gone, and when he was supposed to be back home. Whether he ever came home again. As he already couldn't really understand the whole matter, how could Hoss and Little Joe. Another wave of anger about his father went through him, but he smiled at Hoss.

"He had to leave for business, because of a timber contract that couldn't wait."

Hoss lowered his head and looked sadly at his plate. "He couldn't even say goodbye to us?"

Adam closed his eyes. 'It isn't always worth it to tell the truth.' "Hoss, he has of course said goodbye to you. He was in my room, gave both of you a kiss and covered you, but you two slept so deeply he just didn't want to wake you up."

His little brother looked at him and was glad. "I didn't even notice."

"Hoss, you don't think that Pa would just go without saying goodbye to you? So go on now. Start your breakfast."

Adam waited with the next bad news for his brother until he had eaten at least half of his breakfast. "I have a letter for you to hand to Mr. Conner. Please give it to him before school starts."

Still chewing Hoss took the letter and looked at him bewildered. "Why don't you give him the letter yourself?"

"As long as Pa is away, I've to take care of the ranch and Little Joe. So I can't go to school. This I've explained to Mr. Conner in the letter, also that he should give to you my homework so that I can do it at home."

„For how long will Pa be gone?"

Adam took a sip first before answering his brother. "He couldn't say, but it might take a while. You know, that in some areas there is still snow. So you can never be sure how to get through."

"Hmm ... you're right, but for your birthday in two weeks he'll be back, won't he?"

"I don't think he'll make it. It's not so important if we don't know when he gets back exactly. We will be pleased when he's back again."

Hoss snorted loudly.

"Adam, someday will it be like before? That we're all sitting together at the table, laughing?"

"Sure Hoss, and we'll start right away. Mum wouldn't like to see us here just sitting sad at the table. For this she liked laughing way too much."

Now Hoss couldn't help laughing. "That's true. Do you remember how Pa always tried to look angry when she was up to some nonsense with us while sitting at the table?"

"That you could see clearly. Therefore Hoss, let us be happy again. That's what she really would like."

"I'll try, Adam. Promised."

"Well, then eat quickly. It rained all night long, so you'll need longer to get to school. Your horse is ready and waiting for you in the barn."

„Thanks, Adam!"

After breakfast Hoss packed up his things and got dressed.

„See you later, Adam!"

"See you later, Hoss, and say hello to Koko from me."

„I'll do!"

Hoss left the house and slammed the door. Adam stood alone at the table and took a deep breath. Then he took a cup and threw it against the wall with full force. With a deep breath, he put his hands to his face and tried to rally. Again and again he tried to convince himself that his father would surely come back over the day. Adam tried to repress, that he had been in his father's room and noticed that his father had taken the large travel bag. As his hand touched the letter in his pocket, he couldn't lie to himself any more. His eyes fell on the broken china on the floor and he laughed cynically. The picture of the current situation was reflected there.

Adam went to pick up a broom from the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam sat down at the edge of his bed. Little Joe was just waking up. Once again Adam took a deep breath. Lying to his little brother would certainly be even more difficult for him, as it had already been to Hoss. Little Joe hadn't reallly understood that his mum would never come back home. How could he now be able to understand that his father had just gone? Little Joe loved both so very much and he was running after his Pa all the time; however the last few days had already been difficult for him because his Pa had ignored him. Often Little Joe had asked Adam why his Pa didn't even take him in his arms. Again Adam breathed deeply. What he would give for understanding his father. Was his grief so deep that he forgot everything around? Why could he continue after Inger's death? In those times he didn't just leave giving up everything.

"Morning Adam."

Adam looked smiling at his brother. "Morning, little buddy. I thought you wanted to sleep through half the day."

Little Joe threw away the blanket and jumped up. "I'm not little. I am already so big. Once I'm six, then I'm as big as Hoss."

Adam chuckled. No matter what time you woke up Little Joe he was wide awaken at once and up to entertain everyone. "If you are sooo big, then you can dress alone and come for your breakfast.

But first you have to clean out the barn."

Little Joe plopped back on the bed and crossed his arms. "I think I'm not so big yet."

"Oh, I thought you want to help and you always can do everything?"

Little Joe looked at him defiantly. "Yes, I can. But without breakfast to the barn? This I can't!"

Adam slapped him on the leg. "You don't have to. I was just joking. But before supper Hoss has to take care of the barn from now on, and I think you should help him if he's doing everything alright."

Little Joe cocked his head and looked at his brother skeptically. "But the barn belongs to your chores. Why should Hoss do it now?"

Adam kept trying to smile at his little brother. "For some time I've to do other chores."

„Why?"

"Pa had to go on a business trip and didn't know exactly when he might be back. While I do his work here you and Hoss have to help me."

Even as Adam told him, Little Joe's mood changed and he looked at him sadly. „Pa isn't here any longer?"

„But he said goodbye to you, don't you remember?"

Little Joe shook his head.

"He was here in the room and talked to you. You've embraced him and wished him a good trip."

Just like Hoss Little Joe was delighted that his father had been in the room.

„He talked to me?"

„Of course! He loves you!"

Adam stood up. "Well, now go on ... we've got a lot to do today."

His brother stood up and looked at him questioningly. „You're not going to school?"

"No, as long as Pa's gone, I'm in charge with the ranch. Since Hop Sing isn't back before lunch, you've to accompany me everywhere. After breakfast, we first need to see George, because I need to talk to him."

Little Joe hopped happily across the room. "Yeah ..., if I help you at work, I'm at least a real cowboy."

"But Cowboys don't need as long to get dressed."

His little brother turned around and picked up his clothes. Little Joe had never dressed as fast as he did today.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George had given his men final instructions and went to his horse, when he saw Adam and Little Joe approaching. „Good morning, you two!"

„Good morning, George!"

Adam shook hands with him. Little Joe looked up at the foreman. "I'm a cowboy now, George!"

The foreman laughed. "So what are you still doing here? Why aren't you out there with cattle? You know, we've to round up all of them."

Little Joe looked desperately from George to Adam. His brother put his hand on Little Joe's shoulder. "Don't worry, Little Joe. George doesn't know that you have a much more important task today."

His brother looked at him with big eyes. "You know that I need to talk to George. Look at his horse, it really wants to join all the other horses. And so you've got to take care that it doesn't start running to them. Because, a foreman without a horse isn't a real cowboy."

„Yes, this I can do!"

With brag Little Joe ran to Georges horse and held it. Adam looked at George, who already suspected that something was wrong. Both walked off from Little Joe a bit.

„What happened, Adam?"

Adam knew George for a long time and trusted him just like Hop Sing. He pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to the foreman. As long as he looked at the lines, Adam was sure that he had to read it several times. Quite perplexed, he gave the letter back to Adam.

"What did your father mean, 'What happened yesterday?' Has it anything to do with your face?"

"Indeed. We had an argument."

The foreman didn't inquire further. He knew Adam too well and realized that he didn't want to talk about it. „What are you going to do now, Adam?"

"I won't go to school as long as my father's gone, and work on the ranch instead. We've got enough to do after winter."

George looked over to Little Joe. "How do you imagine to do that? You can't take him with you all the time."

"Hop Sing comes back today. I'll talk to him, he'll take care of him in the morning and in the afternoon Hoss willl be there. I'll always ride back to the ranch for the meals. Within three weeks we've seen the worst indeed done."

For a while George fell silent. Then he put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Adam, your father has left you a big responsibility. How are you doing with it? How are you doing at all?"

Adam didn't lower his gaze. Nor did he slump his shoulders. "I am fine. My father wouldn't have left if he didn't know that I can handle this responsibility. That he's not here now, is of no concern. I know what to do and have full authority to do the business side. So, let's go to work. We both need the ranch to keep going."

The foreman crossed his arms and looked Adam up and down. "It might be that there are some men who don't want to work for you any longer, when they realize that your father isn't here anymore."

"Then that's the way it is. And they don't belong with us."

George hesitated, but then he shook Adam's hand. "Well, Boss. Then I'll come this evening to talk about the day tomorrow."

Adam accepted and nodded. The foreman went to his horse and mounted. However, before he rode off, he stopped briefly at Adam. "Adam, even the strongest man shouldn't be afraid to admit that he isn't doing well."

He tipped his hat and rode off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Hop Sing came back to the Ponderosa in the afternoon and heard Adam's news, he disappeared into the kitchen. Adam could hear that he grumbled to himself in Chinese for almost an hour. At lunch Adam told his brothers how the future chores would be, and that he'd come home only for dinner the next few weeks.

Hoss looked at his brother from aside. He couldn't quite believe that his father had to leave for a business trip at this time. He was sure that there was more behind it and hoped that Adam would tell him the truth someday.

After supper Adam sat at the desk and looked through the papers his father had edited lately. With disbelief, he realized that his father had apparently not taken care of anything since Marie's death. The books weren't up to date and the letters were unopened. He shook his head and tried to consider calmly what he had to prepare for the cattle drive in summer. Even the timber contracts his father had completed, he had to work through. The longer his list was the more desperate he got. Adam leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. In his mind the images of contracts, cattle and letters swirled. Then he heard a low voice, the voice of Amarok.

'Use the moments of silence to listen into yourself to find the deep sources behind the useless thoughts and the abundance of words. Never be desperate! The days pass by like the leaves of fall flying with the wind, and the days will turn back with the clear sky and the splendor of the forests. Once more every seed is awakened and just extends the life.'

Adam opened his eyes and saw the mess of papers on the table. Then he sat up straight. No, he would accept this challenge. Even being so big he would find a way to go through. With new energy he set to work.


	18. Chapter 18

Quietly Adam closed Hoss' door. Today it had taken him long to find sleep. Adam realized that his brother didn't quite believe the story with his father being on a business trip. But he couldn't tell him the truth. Hoss would suffer for days and Adam didn't want that. He wanted to prevent his brothers to think badly of their father. He went down and looked at his list. He had written down what he had to do in the evening and what to check before he could go to sleep, too. If something might happen because of any carelessness, he could certainly not forgive himself. Adam took his jacket and went outside to see if Hoss had looked after the horses and if all the lights were out.

The rain had finally stopped, and Adam could see the stars. For some time he looked up and wondered if his father watched the sky this very moment thinking of his sons. Or didn't they matter any longer to him so that he didn't miss them?

"Good evening, Adam."

Adam spun around. "George, you scared me."

"I'm sorry. I told you I'll drop by in the evening."

Adam exhaled. "I was deep in my thoughts, let's go inside."

They entered the house, took off their jackets and went to the office. George looked at the papers and records that were on the desk.

"Are you going to cope with it?"

Adam sat down behind the desk. "I think so. I'm currently working through all the contracts that my father has signed, and that we have to meet till summer. For what I need a little more time, are the offers that come in for the cattle that we want to sell. I have to evaluate within the next few weeks, how our stock is after the winter and which offer I'll accept."

The foreman was sitting on the other side of the desk and listened to Adam. He still could't believe that his boss had gone and passed on all the responsibility to his son. He knew Adam had a strong character, but to lead such a large ranch in his age, wouldn't be easy for the boy. George had no doubt that Adam knew what to do, and that he would stand the physical work, but he was concerned about the business partners of his boss who might not take him seriously. Of what use was Adam's knowledge, if no contract was signed because he was so young?

"Can I give you a tip on the contracts?"

"Of course, George. I am fully aware that I will not manage the whole thing without your help. So I'm very grateful that you've stayed. If you had left, certainly more than half of the men would have gone, too."

"Yes, we have to talk about that as well. But first the contracts. Look at them closely. Don't take the next best. You always have to keep in mind which way we have to drive the cattle. How far and how demanding is the trail? Is it worth the good offer if you arrive with only half of the cattle? Also, remember that people will realize that your father isn't there. So they will certainly try to pull a fast one on you. You work like a man, but you're still damned young. If you have bad luck, they won't even sign a contract with you."

The foreman couldn't see how Adam was taking his words. His expression was enigmatic. Only in his dark eyes, he could see how attentive Adam was to his words.

"I will remember your words when I consider signing a contract. The problem with the conclusion I will work out, of course. Whoever doesn't want to sign a contract with the Ponderosa because underneath isn't Ben Cartwright, won't sign any contracts with us in future."

The foreman had to grin and wondered where the boy got this self-confidence. If he got through this rough time and it worked out as he imagined, his future contract partners might have a quite tough negotiator in a few years. This George was sure of.

"Then we have to talk about another problem."

"George, please realize there are no problems that cannot be solved, because otherwise I'm part of the problem, and I certainly won't be."

George leaned forward. "This is one of the clever sayings of your Indian friend, right? You've adopted a lot of him. I find it more and more difficult to see through you, just like him."

"His name is Amarok. Please, call him that way. He's part of my family, and he sells us always his best horses, so we should treat him with respect."

The foreman leaned back in the chair. He wondered if it was good or bad that his boss had gone just now. In front of him sat no longer the young Adam Cartwright, who watched all his words with big eyes. This was another Adam Cartwright, who represented his opinion toughly. But didn't this development come far too soon for him? Would he later be able to trust others, or would he try to fix everything himself?

"Well, lets not say problem, let's call it concern. The men worry that they won't get their pay next week."

"Why shouldn't they get their payment? They get it every month, so this time will be no different."

"Shall I accompany you when you pick up the money?"

"We can't afford it at the moment. At the moment we need every man out there. I'm going to do it alone."

George exhaled loudly. "That's a lot of money, you carry home and it will spread that you picked it up alone. Maybe not now at the first time, but the times after it won't be a secret any longer."

"For me there are no obstacles. Life and work on the ranch must go on, this also includes that I get the money from the bank."

The foreman banged his fist on the table. He didn't surprise himself with his outburst, but that he couldn't detect any reaction of Adam despite the loud noise. Just as if he had known that this would happen.

"Adam, bloody hell, it's not a game, what we're talking about. Think of your father when he was ambushed. It can happen to you, too."

"I'm quite aware of it. But wages must be paid, and so I need to get the money from the bank. You've said that the people may not take me seriously. They certainly won't if I don't show that I can run the ranch and that includes this work."

„I can't change your mind?"

„No!"

They looked at each other in silence.

"George, you help me a lot being here like now and talking with me about everything. You give me advice concerning the work on the ranch. But as soon as I leave this house, I have to show that I get along alone, otherwise we will never manage to keep the ranch going until my father comes back."

The only thing that went through George's head was, that his boss could just be glad that he had a son like this. He stood up and shook hands with Adam, who also rose from the chair and took the offered hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning at half past seven, Mr. Cartwright."

Adam looked at the foreman questioningly.

"Adam, as you want to be taken seriously, we should start with the fact that I treat you as the boss."

"But just out there, George. Here in the house, I would like to stay Adam for you."

George understood why he wanted this. Even if Adam never said it loud - here he needed him as a friend at his side and not as a hired foreman.

"Agreed, Adam. See you tomorrow."

Just as he was closing the door, he saw someone riding to the house. At first Adam thought it might be his father. But then he realized that it was Aponi. He walked over to her, holding the horse by the reins as she dismounted. He looked at her worried.

"Aponi, what are you doing here? Something with Koko?"

Aponi shook her head smiling. "Oh Wynono, that's typical you. What am I here for? Koko told me that you weren't at school today. Is it true that your father is on a business trip?"

Maybe he could lie to his brothers, but surely not to Aponi. Adam looked away and at the horse.

"Yes, he had to travel early today unexpectedly."

Aponi took his chin in her hand and turned his head so that she could look at his face. "What happened, Wynono? And don't you tell me you fell down the stairs."

Adam didn't answer, but he couldn't look into her eyes any longer and turned his gaze to the floor.

"I think you should take care of my horse, and I'm going inside to fix us some tea and then we'll have a talk."

Now he looked at her. "But it's very late."

"I knew that something is wrong, so I waited until I could be sure that your brothers are asleep and I can talk with you in peace. Amarok knows that I'll stay here tonight. So we have a lot of time."

He just nodded and led Aponi's horse to the barn.

XXXXXX

Aponi and Adam sat by the fireplace, drank their tea and looked silently into the fire. After some time, Adam pulled the letter out of his pocket and pushed it across the table to Kokos mother. She only needed to read it once to understand that Ben had left his sons without a thought.

"What could you argue about so that he hit you and had to leave then, Wynono? You realize I'm a little stunned."

Adam held his cup in his hand and ran a finger across the pattern, as he considered his next words. "Aponi, don't be disappointed in him. I've to be blamed, too, that he's gone. I didn't recognize how deep his pain is, and then I lost my temper and provoked him."

"Wynono, it honors you that you're protecting your father, but you're bearing a pain in your heart as well and you sure don't lose your temper for no reason."

"He said in his rage, I am to blame for Marie's death and would be glad about it."

He looked at her, and she only could see sadness and despair in his eyes. "Aponi, believe me, I've tried everything to stay calm because I knew that his words were only stray arrows. But he didn't stop ..., he simply didn't stop ... !"

Adam put down the cup and briefly covered his face with his hands to take a deep breath. "Then he yelled at Hoss, who was standing on the steps above. He hadn't done anything. Hoss was just scared ... and then I couldn't stand it any longer! Everything in me collapsed! All my emotions flooded me and I pushed him away and told him what a bad father he was! ... Then he struck me!"

Adam looked back into the fire, and Aponi tried to understand what she just learned.

"I went to my room, and when I got up the next morning, the letter lay on the table."

"He didn't talk to you after?"

„No."

In the room there was silence. Only the crackling of the fire and the faint ticking of the clock could be heard. Aponi thought about what she could tell Adam now. How should she convey the right words, if she herself didn't understand Ben's reaction? In this letter wasn't even a mention of how long he would be away. What if his grief was so deep that he would stay away for weeks? How could Adam cope with this situation alone? She looked at him. What might go on in the minds of the three boys? The way it looked, they not only had just lost their mother, but their father, too.

"Are you telling everyone that your father is on a business trip?"

"Yes, I will. What has happened only concerns my family. Once he's back, no one shall blame him that he left us alone."

"I haven't got the notion that you're mad at him."

Adam listened to himself wondering how his feelings for his father were. "There's ... no real fury. I am ... angry, not furious. I'm angry about the fact that he has left me alone with Hoss and Joe and the pain since Marie's death. I'm angry about the fact that he's just gone, without thinking of us or the ranch. On the other hand I do understand him. He has never hit me with a fist or yelled at Hoss this way for no reason. I think he was afraid that he might have lost control of his emotions even more often, if he had stayed. Telling myself, he just wants to protect us."

She smiled at him. "And after all what has happened, you only think of protecting him. But with that all you forget about one, Wynono. He's your father. He has a different task in this family than you have. He should be sitting here talking to a friend about his feelings, and you should be up in your room, not worrying about the future."

"Should I hate him now?"

"No, but don't pardon everything. Once he returns welcome him with open arms, but don't simply hold in abeyance what happened. Your father must understand that he did make a mistake. You are in an age when you can tell him that very clearly, without being disrespectful."

"Aponi, I'm not worried about what will be if he comes back. I always think of how to manage all this without Hoss and Little Joe suffering too much because of the situation. In the next few weeks we have to round up the cattle to see how they made it through winter. I will hardly be able to be at home. If my father won't come back till summer, I don't know what to do with Hoss and Little Joe when I've got to leave for the cattle drive. Hop Sing can't take care of the two all day after all."

She sat down next to him and put her arm around him.

"You're not alone. Always remember, we're here for you. Koko will come after school as often as possible to help you, and I'll be here, too. If your father really should stay away so long, we will find a solution for the summer."

He turned his head and looked at her. "What do you think? When will he come back? ... Will he come back at all?"

"Wynono, everyone deals differently with pain and grief. But I'm sure when he has delt with the pain and has wept all the tears, when all of them have fallen to his heart drop by drop, then wisdom will come back to him. He will remember you and where his place is. Promise me that you don't try to fight alone. You won't stand it! Don't be afraid to ask for help. It isn't a sign of weakness if you cannot manage to get around an obstacle all alone. It is a sign of strength to climb the mountain together."

„Thanks, Aponi!"

They still sat about an hour in front of the fireplace deep in their thoughts. Then Adam showed her the guest room, put out the light in the house and went to his room. He wasn't surprised at all that his two brothers had crawled back into his bed during the evening. He was about to undress, when his eyes fell on his desk, where he saw the tasks of Mr. Conner that Hoss had brought him today. He placed the lamp at his table and sat down in order to do his homework.


	19. Chapter 19

Three months ... he kept telling himself. Three months his Pa was already gone. He sat on the fence and threw small sticks to the ground. Not even for his birthday his father had returned. No letter. No telegram. Nothing!

He looked at Joe, who played boisterous with Koko's dogs and wondered if his brother didn't even miss his Pa. They spent every Sunday with Koko and her family, and he was happy here. But little by little he wanted his old life back. Before Mum died. He thought back to the good times when they all went for a picnic at the lake on Sunday. When he tried hard, he could still hear Mum and Pa laughing. But he found it more and more difficult to remember their voices. He looked at his hand and saw that he had no more sticks. Behind him he could hear that the table was set for lunch, but he wasn't hungry, even if it smelled so good. Again he wondered how all the others could be so cheerful. Soon, Little Joe's birthday was to be celebrated, and if even then Pa didn't come back home, he would surely never come back at all. And he knew why. He jumped down the fence and picked up the little sticks again. When he straightened up, Koko's mother stood right in front of him.

"Hoss, what's the matter with you today? Usually you're in the kitchen with me just an hour before meals."

Hoss shrugged.

"Come on, Hoss. The food still needs some time. Let's sit on the bench, and you tell me what's bothering you."

They sat down on the bench in front of the house, and Aponi smiled at him caringly.

"Well, now tell me what's going on and don't pretend saying, it's nothing at all. If you're not hungry, then something's wrong."

Hoss thought to himself whether he should really ask, but he didn't want to wait till Little Joe's birthday.

"Pa isn't coming back, right? He's dead, too ... like Mum."

Aponi was stunned. She had expected anything, but not that Hoss thought his father to be dead. Hoss looked at her with sad blue eyes.

"He must be dead, Aponi. He wouldn't just forget Adam's and my birthday. It looks like he won't even return for Joe's birthday, and I guess I know how he died."

Aponi tried to collect herself. Quickly she considered what to say.

"Hoss, your father isn't dead. He only had to go on a long journey."

Vigorously Hoss shook his head.

"That's not true. If he was alive, he would have written us sometime. That's what he always did when he was away for a longer time. And as long as I remember, he was never away from home without sending a letter."

Now Hoss moved up close to Aponi and only whispered.

"I believe…. I think Adam did something to him."

Aponi's eyes widened.

"Hoss, how do you figure such nonsense?"

"I see that he doesn't tell me the truth, what really happened with Pa. I noticed how he sometimes speaks with Hop Sing and George about Pa in a very low voice, if I or Joe are around. Adam doesn't even tell me what happened that night, when he quarreled with Pa. After that he came into the room and washed the blood off. Aponi ... "

He spoke even lower.

"... Pa said that night that Adam is to blame for Mum's death, what if Adam and Pa ..."

Aponi grabbed Hoss's shoulder.

"Stop, Hoss! Stop it! Adam had nothing to do with Marie's death and nothing to do with your father not being at home at the moment."

Although she had promised Adam to not tell anybody anything of what had happened, she couldn't allow Hoss to think this way about those incidents. Later she would talk with Adam alone. So Aponi took Hoss's hand and looked him in the eyes.

„Hoss, please believe me! Your Pa is currently on a trip, we just don't know exactly where he is, and when he will come home."

"But if he's on a business trip, Adam must know where he is right now."

"He's on no business trip ...! Hoss, do you remember last year, as something has taken all your rabbits out of the burrow, and you were so sad?"

Hoss nodded. Very well he could remember how he went to the burrow and had found only one dead rabbit.

"Your father has been very sad after Marie's death, too. So sad that he had to go on a trip, to cope with the pain."

"But why didn't he take us with him?"

"Didn't you want to be left alone when you cried for your rabbits?"

Hoss kneaded his fingers, thinking.

"But why so long? Why doesn't he come back? What will happen when Adam goes on the cattle drive next week? Then Joe and I are all alone."

She took Adam's brother in her arms.

"Oh Hoss, you're not alone. You know, if Adam isn't at home, Koko and I will stay with you, and your Pa will surely get in touch with you again."

Hoss stood up, put his hands into his pockets and walked back and forth in front of the house. He stopped in front of Aponi.

"And you think, he won't forget us?"

"No Hoss, he won't. It just takes time."

"But what if something happens to Adam on the trail and he doesn't come back? I cannot do all the things he does."

He stood there all a picture of misery. The hands in his pockets and his head hanging. She stood up and took him in her arms again.

"Hoss, you needn't do anything and George will keep an eye on Adam. I think you two should definitely have a talk before the drive starts, so Adam knows what makes you worry so much."

Hoss shrugged and looked at his boots.

"He surely won't ..., you know him. If he doesn't want to talk about certain things, then he doesn't, and with the cattle drive so close, he has surely no time for me."

"He will take the time, I promise you that. And now you come to the kitchen, help me to serve the food and laugh again."

He looked at Aponi, smiled slightly back and put his hand on his belly. Hearing the word food it had in fact started growling. He was so happy that there was Koko and her family.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

His second trail was exhausting, too. It was even more worse in Adams eyes. Additionally he had the responsibility this time, and he didn't want to show by no means, that he was tired and done. It had been very difficult to hire more cowboys. Most had packed up after they had heard who was responsible for the cattle drive. In the end they had got a handful of men, but not really enough. After the first half of the trail it could already be seen how done they were anyway. Adam stood with George at the kitchen wagon and they talked how the next day should run.

"George, I'm worried. The men are already done, and we are only half way. I don't want an accident happening, just because it's more than they can cope with."

The foreman poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Yes, you are right, the men are done, but we have no choice. Adam, we knew from the very beginning what we were getting into."

Adam put his hand over his mouth, his eyes fixed to the distance, thinking.

"And if we take a little break and let the men go to the next town with the promise that they'll have to give everything for the last part of the cattle drive?"

"Actually a good suggestion, but it even involves a risk. If the new men don't come back, we have real trouble."

Before Adam could say anything George raised his hands.

"I know ..., there are no problems and if so, they are solved in an instant."

Adam grinned. George and he had become good partners during the recent months. Partly they understood each other already blind. He was lucky to have him as a friend and foreman. Many things certainly wouldn't have run so easy if George had not been there. But not only to him he owed a lot. When Adam had picked up the payroll of the bank for the first time, he saw on his way to the Ponderosa that Amarok accompanied him at some distance. In the beginning Adam thought that it was just coincidence, but every time he got the payroll Koko's father was near him and it was a good feeling. Adam smiled, but then his thoughts returned to his current problem.

"I got the impression that the new hands did a good job and are reliable. If we provide them a bonus, if we can meet the deadline despite the break, I think they won't pack up."

"You're very confident, Adam. But you're right, they do a good job. I'll inform them about your suggestion this evening. Then we will see what they decide."

All was said and Adam went to his horse, taking a ride once again to see if everything was prepared for the coming night. He looked into the sky and hoped that they would continue to have good luck with the weather. Pretty confident and satisfied with the work of the cowboys, he made his way back to the camp, but first he stood a bit off and looked to the herd. Adam tried to take the silence in, but today it was very difficult for him. Again and again these thoughts came into his head that this was to be his life from now on. What if his father really didn't come back? Adam slowly lost his belief that he would wake up one day and his father might stand at the door again. His power decreased to carry out the work as his father had imagined. He was just worn out from working at the ranch, Hoss and Little Joe and the tasks that he had to do at home for school. He wondered more often why he actually did them. At the moment it looked like he could forget about going to the university. He had lost the joy for school and the work on the ranch.

Adam looked further to the herd. Slowly he felt how he managed to hide everything around and just listen to the silence within himself. The words joy and gratitude haunted his mind. Faintly he heard the words of Amarok.

'When you get up in the morning, then be thankful for the morning light, for your life and the power that you have. Be thankful for your food and the joy of being alive. If you see no reason to be thankful, the fault lies with you.'

The fault should be with him? Adam wondered what he was doing wrong. Why he was already done after more than four months and likely to give up? He tried to understand what he had done, what decisions he had taken, and how he had felt then. And then, very slowly, he became aware of where the fault was. All this wasn't his dream! That was his father's dream! Adam was no longer free in his actions and in his thoughts. He tried to implement only the precast ideas of his father, but this weren't his ideas. Certainly not everything was bad, but if he wanted to be himself again, he had to start to put in his own thoughts and ideas in the work of the ranch. He had to stop to consider what his father might have done in any decision he had to take. He had to step out of the shadow of the great Ben Cartwright. Adam took a deep breath and promised himself, if his father still hadn't get in touch after the cattle drive, he would start to lead his own life again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

George and Adam stood at the stockyard and watched as their last cattle reached their destination.

"Oh Adam, I just don't know how you made it. Noone can have so much luck. Not only that we really made it on time with this few men. No, they stayed all throughout the trail. And regarding the weather you seem to have signed a personal contract."

Adam crossed his arms and grinned at his foreman.

"Didn't you believe in me?"

Grinning the foreman raised his index finger.

"Not that you're showing off, my friend. Well, I'm going to the men telling them that they will soon get their wages, and you, you're going to get your money."

Adam cocked his head.

"Am I not in charge here?"

Laughing Adam walked to the person in charge of the stockyard. The man saw Adam approaching to him and was surprised. He had expected that the elder would settle the business with him.

„Hello!"

Adam held out his hand.

"My name is Adam Cartwright."

The man took his hand and looked at him in surprise.

"You are Mr. Cartwright of the Ponderosa Ranch?"

"Yes, and I guess you are Mr. Collins."

"That's right. I'm a little bit surprised. I had expected to have signed the contract with a man, not with half a kid."

Adam's good mood faded and he watched Mr. Collins closely. If his instinct wasn't mistaken, there would surely be some trouble soon.

"I think it doesn't matter who or what you have expected. You have received your cattle, and I want my money."

Mr. Collins looked past Adam, and had to laugh inwardly. This would surely turn out to be an easy game with the kid. In his eyes, this kid had no idea about the business, and the older one was too far away to notice anything.

"Of course, son. Wait, I'll have a look at the documents."

He took a board, on which was noted how many cattle had arrived at the stockyard from the Ponderosa. He looked at the number, transferred it into the contract and handed it to Adam.

"So you can go over to the office and get the money, my boy."

Adam didn't get provoked by Collins, but looked at the final contract carefully.

"I won't do that, Mr. Collins!"

Mr. Collins looked at him in astonishment and his voice was indignant.

"Of course, you're going to do that now. I haven't got time for you all day. If you don't know how it goes on here, you should send someone who's familiar with it next time."

Adam wasn't impressed by the actions of the cattle dealer.

"I'm not going anywhere until you add the four hundred and fifty cattle, which you probably just forgot."

Mr. Collins went a step toward Adam.

"Do you greenhorn want to claim, that I want to pull a fast one on you?"

"Yep!"

The cattle dealer was slightly nervous. He had thought he would have an easy game with that boy. But he still could have him intimidated.

"You can prove it?"

"Yes. We both only need to look on the count list and then compare the numbers."

Of course, Mr. Collins couldn't allow that because then the fraud would be blown at once. So he went a step toward Adam and pushed him off a bit.

"Listen, kid, if you are looking for trouble here, you can get it. I just need to say one word, and my men will make sure that you crawl out on all fours. Take the contract and go and get your money!"

"No. I want to see the list, NOW!"

Adam noticed that the cattle dealer started to sweat a bit. Mr. Collins turned around and called one of his men.

"Todd, the boy here is looking for trouble. Take him to the office and then make sure that he doesn't stay at the site any longer."

Adam looked at his opponent and knew right away he wouldn't stand a chance against this man. He took a deep breath ... 'Show that the situation is under your control'.

"Mr. Collins, why don't we look at the list. Only one look and the misunderstanding would be settled, or do you want to risk getting the reputation of an impostor?"

"Todd, I gave you an order."

Todd came up to Adam and wanted to grab him by the collar. Adam struck his hands off and gave him a punch in the belly. Todd gasped, then grabbed Adam and send him with a blow to the ground. Still dazed, he was surprised that Todd didn't attack him but he rather was helped up from behind.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Cartwright?"

Adam shook his head to get rid of the dizziness and to see clearly again. Then he looked to the right and left. Beside him stood George with the hands of the Ponderosa and the hired cowboys. With a serious gaze he looked toward Mr. Collins and Todd.

"No problem, George. Only a misunderstanding. Right, Mr. Collins?"

The cattle dealer cursed inwardly.

"Sure, Mr. Cartwright! Only a misunderstanding."

He picked up the contract from the floor and changed the number of cattle supplied.

"I hope next year we might expect you here again, Mr. Cartwright."

Adam took the contract and glanced at it.

"Mr. Collins, I woudn't count on that."

With a grunt the cattle dealer took his papers and went to his next customer. George went to Adam's side.

"Thank you, George. Without you it would have hurt even more."

The foreman crossed his arms and a small smile could be seen on his lips. "Don't think we helped you, because we all love you. No, we only thought of our money."

Adam tried to laugh, but grimaced in pain. "Why don't I just fire you, George?"

"Quite simple! You do not know the way home. And now go and get the money! At last I want to go to the saloon with you and if you are a good boy, I'll permit you even three beers this year."

"George, you're fired!"

The foreman grinned. "I'm waiting outside the office for you, Adam."


	20. Chapter 20

Adam entered the bank wondering what Mr. Williams wanted to talk about. Judging by his books, there should be no problem with the payments. Before Adam could knock on the door of Mr. Williams' office, it had already been opened. "Adam, very kind indeed that you could come so quickly. Come in and sit down."

He took off his hat and sat down on the chair in front of the desk. Mr. Williams sat in his chair and gathered some documents on the table. "Adam, I've a bank transfer from you, but I'm not sure if I should carry it out."

He handed over the documents and Adam had only a brief glance to know, which paying out was the concern. He quickly returned the documents to the manager.

"I don't know where the problem is, Mr. Williams. I cannot find anything wrong. Amount and recipient are correct."

Mr. Williams obviously felt uncomfortable with the conversation. "Adam, this is quite a high amount. I don't know if your father might agree that you're buying this piece of land."

This was one of those moments he wished he was a few years older. Then no one would question his decisions. "Mr. Williams, my father is currently not here, and I've the authorization to carry on the business of the Ponderosa. With all due respect, you wouldn't have asked my father to come to your office."

Mr. Williams leaned forward and looked at Adam insistantly. "Adam, when will your father come back? For more than seven months he's on a business trip now."

"I can't tell you exactly and it's of no matter regarding this authorizing."

"Of course it matters. He certainly wouldn't like to see you wasting his money."

Now Adam looked at the bank manager keenly. "Mr. Williams, it seems I need to repeat myself. I'm leading the business of the Ponderosa, and if you refuse to sign the transfer I've to consider whether we should continue to deposit our money at your bank."

Mr. Williams put his fingers together. „Adam, where's your father?"

Without looking away, he glanced at Mr. Williams. „You know it! On a business trip."

„This long?"

With time Adam had learned to answer questions about his father quite well without having to lie. "It's no secret that we want to sell our timber to England, and now I'd like to turn the conversation back to the bank transfer."

"Adam, I'm a long time friend of your father and I won't watch you buying a piece of land that brings no profit to the Ponderosa. If you feel the need to spend your father's money, because you think you have to do some good, then give it to our church to distribute it."

"Mr. Williams, I will ask you for the last time. Will you sign the transfer or won't you?"

With a very insistent and slightly angry glare Mr. Williams looked at Adam, who did not even bat an eye, let alone looked away.

"We both know exactly why you want to buy this land. I tell you, they aren't worth it, and they won't be thankful. Furthermore, the government won't be pleased that you've taken the land right under their nose. You don't want to mess with the wrong people?"

Adam stood up, took the bank transfer and tore it up before the eyes of Mr. Williams. "What land I buy, and what I do with it is my own business and not yours. And should the army or anyone set foot on my land and threaten the people who live there, they will have to deal with me and not only me alone!"

Adam went to the office door and opened it. "And, Mr. Williams, be prepared that Mr. Forster will contact you. The Ponderosa will make business through his bank starting today."

The bank manager jumped up from his chair. "You can't do that, Adam!"

Adam's answer was that he closed the door and left the bank.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam stood in front of the school and looked through the mail that had arrived for the Ponderosa today. Since he was longer in town due to the problems with the bank, he wanted to wait till Little Joe and Hoss had finished school. Mr. Forster was very pleased indeed to learn that the business of the ranch should run in his bank from now on, and he had executed Adam's bank transfer without hesitation. Adam hadn't completely dissolved the account at Mr. Williams' bank. He didn't even know where his father was, and if he might be in need of money.

"Hello, Adam!"

He looked up from the letters and smiled. "Hello, Koko!" He looked past her. "Where are Joe and Hoss? Don't tell me Little Joe must stay for longer again!"

She had to laugh. Little Joe was now little more than a month at school and had brought home more letters than Hoss during his whole school time. "No, not today. He actually managed to be sitting calmly today."

Adam looked at her in dismay. "Then he must be sick!"

"No, I think today he was just tired from the weekend."

"I hope so. The last time, when he was sick, he almost drove me crazy. To sick for school and to well to stay in bed."

"No, don't you worry. He's fine. But you know him. It takes him forever to pack his things."

Yes, Adam knew exactly and chuckled. He already felt sorry for Mr. Conner. Not only that Little Joe always mislaid his books and his writing pad and couldn't sit quiet, he constantly dropped everything to the ground, because his thoughts always were ahead to the next idea.

"Will you come to see us this afternoon? I don't have much to be done today."

"Gladly, but you'd have to take me home after. My father doesn't like me to ride home alone in the dark."

He smiled mischievously. "With pleasure!"

She narrowed her eyes and looked at him. "Forget it, Adam! I'm not falling for your charm."

"Not just yet, but at some point you won't resist it any longer."

She put her hands on her hips. "I'd like to know what you're always up to at the cattle drive. Every time you come back, you're showing off!"

Grinning, he looked back down at the mail. He hesitated. There was a letter with no return address. Koko immediately noticed how his mood changed.

"Everything's okay?"

"I don't know. The letter is addressed directly to me and has no return address."

He opened the envelope and turned, so Koko could have a look, too. There wasn't much written in the letter.

Dear Adam,

do not worry. I am fine.

Ben Cartwright

Koko felt Adam inhaling deeply beside her.

"Why does he do that, Koko? What's this all about?"

"Are you sure this letter is from your Pa?"

"Yes, that's his handwriting. But these lines he might have even spared. What am I supposed to do with this?"

She could see how he struggled with his anger trying to remain calm nevertheless.

"But now you know that he's still alive."

Adam crumpled up the letter and put it in his pocket. "Koko, the letter is nothing. Nothing at all. I cannot even show it to Joe and Hoss. He didn't even mention them."

He shook his head in disbelief.

"Then he isn't ready, Adam. It was certainly the first step for him."

She had never seen her friend so angry before.

"Damn, Koko! I get tired of waiting, or making excuses until he's done! We all have lost Marie that day. Not only him. Very nice indeed that he tries to get rid of the pain, but did he ever consider that we didn't get over the death of Marie, as we already had to suffer the next loss? And after seven months he is still not ready to come home? How long should we wait? Three years? Four years?"

Koko took his hand.

"Adam…..!"

He looked up and exhaled. Then he looked at her again. "I'm sorry, Koko. I did not mean to yell at you. But I waited for seven months on a peep of him and then I get this."

"Honestly, Adam? I have no idea how to help or what to tell you. I don't understand your father. I would like to take you in my arms and comfort you, but ... " She looked at him. "... you've become so tall."

Although he was still angry with his father, he had to smile a little. "Then I hold you. That helps me, too."

He put his arms around her, and she leaned against him. He held her tight and tried to regain his inner balance. His anger subsided, and he noticed how peace returned to him. When he had himself under control, he could have let go of Koko, but ... he didn't want to. He didn't know how long they stood there like that. Adam noticed someone tapped him on the back, so he dissolved the embrace and turned around. There stood Hoss and Little Joe looking at him expectantly.

"Can we finally go home? I'm hungry."

Adam looked at his two brothers and one thought occured to him spontaneously. His father had no idea what beautiful moments with them he missed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had become quite cold in the past few days. It was likely to snow on Koko's birthday. Adam just returned from town. He dismounted and watched Hoss, who apparently was looking for something.

„Can I help you, Hoss?"

Hoss winced. „You're already back?"

"Pardon me, shall I come back later?"

"Yes ... I mean, no ..., I ... I can't find Little Joe."

All colour drained from Adam's face. "What do you mean, ... you can't find him?"

Hoss scratched his head. "Well ..., we played hide and seek, and now I can't find him."

Adam grabbed Hoss's shoulder. "For how long you're looking for him already?"

Hoss couldn't look at him. "Over an hour. Adam, I've looked everywhere! I don't know where I should look for him still!"

Adam closed his eyes. After an hour, Joe could already be anywhere. He tried to think where his little brother could be gone. Hiding he certainly didn't play for this long. He was too impatient when Hoss didn't find him quickly.

"Ok, so you go looking in the barn again and I'm going to search in the house."

A short time later, the two brothers met again at Adam's horse and looked at each other, shaking their heads.

"Hoss, use your head, please! Was there anything, you talked about today, what Little Joe would like to do?"

Hoss only shrugged. "He has told me so much today. At some point I didn't listen any longer."

It was clear that Hoss was completely desperate. Adam put his hand on his shoulder. "Hoss, it's okay. We will find him. Let's take the horses and look for him, maybe he went to Koko."

Hoss saddled his horse and the two brothers were on their way to look for Little Joe. Adam just hoped that they would find him before nightfall. A night in this cold his brother wouldn't survive. Around the Ponderosa they couldn't find him, and it was dusk when they were on their way to Koko's house. Suddenly Hoss raised his hand and stopped.

"Do you hear that, Adam?"

Adam stopped and listened. Faintly he could hear crying. Alerted Hoss and Adam looked at each other.

"That's Little Joe! Damn Hoss, where did it come from?"

Both tried to listen from what direction the crying came. Hoss slapped Adam on the chest.

"It's coming from down at the lake, Adam!"

They galloped off and reached the lake in almost no time. The horses hadn't quite stopped when they already jumped out of the saddle.

"JOE, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Very softly Little Joe's voice could be heard.

"Up here, Adam."

Hoss and Adam looked up and saw that Little Joe was sitting in a tree on a bough. Only with some effort Adam could restrain not to yell at his brother. The bough on which he sat, loomed far into the lake. Should Little Joe fall down, the water at this place would be too deep for him, because he still couldn't swim properly. But the bough was not strong enough for two people, so that Adam couldn't climb to get him down.

"Joe, try to pull back slowly to the tree."

"I don't dare, Adam. I'm sitting here for so long and I'm feeling so cold. Please, get me down."

He started crying again.

"Adam, what shall we do? The bough isn't strong enough to stand one more of us."

"I know that, Hoss!"

Adam groaned. Why did Little Joe get into such nonsense? He pulled off his jacket, and gave it to Hoss together with his hat and his gun belt.

"Adam, you're not thinking of going into the water? That's too cold!"

He grimaced and looked at Hoss. "You got a better suggestion?"

Hoss looked to the ground. "No, I don't!"

Adam went to the shore. "Little Joe, I'll go into the water and place myself right under you. You can jump down then, and I'll catch you."

Little Joe only nodded. Adam wasn't but six feet in the water, when the chill already crept through his body. When he reached the place below Little Joe, the water reached him up to his neck.

"Little Joe, let yourself go."

"But I don't dare!"

Adam struggled to talk calmly to Joe despite the cold. "Let go, Joe! It's not so high. I can almost reach your foot."

"No ..., I can ... not ...!"

Adam's voice now took on a serious tone. "Joe, I haven't got the notion to stand here in the water for hours waiting for you. Either you let go, or Hoss and I ride home without you."

Adam noticed how he slowly started to stutter when speaking due to the cold.

"And you will catch me?"

"Of course, Joe!"

"But the water is so very cold!"

"Yes, it's cold. But you will be real quick back out there."

"Adam ...!"

"JOE!"

Joe moved very cautiously, first let down his legs still laying with his torso on the branch. "You're doing just fine, Little Joe. Still a small way then I can grab your legs."

Little Joe slipped down even further. But as he sat on the bough for so long, his hands were so numb that he couldn't hold on to any longer. He slipped off. Adam tried to catch him, but couldn't prevent Little Joe falling into the water up to his belly. Joe cried out as he felt the cold. Adam grabbed him tightly, put him over his shoulder and strode to the shore. He could feel Little Joe shivering with cold.

"Hoss, ride off and tell Hop Sing, he should prepare a tub. Joe and I will follow as fast as possible."

Without even saying a word Hoss mounted and galloped off. Little Joe was crying again.

"I ...I ... feeeeel ... soooo ... cold!"

Adam had left the water and placed Joe in front of him. Then he took his jacket and wrapped it around his brother. "We're almost home, Joe. Then you'll get out of them wet clothes and you'll be warm again."

He lifted his brother on his horse and mounted, too. As fast as possible, he made his way home, praying that Little Joe wouldn't get pneumonia.


	21. Chapter 21

Adam put Little Joe in his bed and tucked him in. "And, is it warm enough or do you need another blanket?" Little Joe shook his head. "But if you're cold again, you call me. Then I give you a second blanket." His brother nodded still looking at him with wide eyes. "Little Joe, what's wrong? You're so quiet. Are you missing anything?" Again he shook his head. "Joe, I'm not likely to go out before you tell me what's wrong with you."

Little Joe was hard to understand, as quietly as he spoke. „I'm only waiting."

Adam's brow wrinkled and he looked at his little brother in surprise. „What are you waiting for?"

"For you scolding me and tell me we're going to the barn."

Adam couldn't look angry at his little brother, as he lay there in his bed looking at him with big eyes. So he put his hand on Joe's leg and smiled. „Little Joe, have I ever been to the barn with you?" Little Joe shook his head again. "Then I won't do it now, nor in future. But that doesn't mean that I'm not mad at you."

„I'm so sorry, Adam!"

"Little Joe, how can you just run away? Hoss has been looking for you everywhere."

Joe slid a little deeper under the covers. "I didn't really want to, but I was hiding behind the house and saw some pine cones and those down at the lake are much larger ..., I just wanted to pick up a few ..., for the fireplace."

Joe and his wild ideas. Adam would never understand. „Hoss surely would have gone to the lake with you, if you only had said one word."

"I wanted to be right back."

When his little brother looked at him this way he could see how much resemblance he had with Marie. He was as full of life as she had been. Also always on the move and full of spontaneous ideas. If he didn't learn to recognize the dangers into which he went, he sooner or later would have a serious accident. Adam just hoped that it wouldn't end up like with Marie.

Even after so many months, Adam thought about how he could have talked Marie out of this fatal race. Now he could understand a little better why his father had his anger directed at him. He regretted it himself that he didn't succeed in convincing Marie to refrain from the race.

"Joe, how for heaven's sake did you get this stupid idea to climb the tree? I do have told you so often you need to examine a tree precisely in advance to see if you can come down by yourself again. Quite apart from the fact that you shouldn't climb on any tree without telling anybody."

"But the branch had such a big pine cone. It was the greatest you've ever seen."

Adam took a deep breath. As usual Little Joe didn't understand his concern. "Joe, if Hoss and I hadn't found you, you'd fallen into the water eventually. Either because you had had no strength, or because you fell asleep in the cold. And shall I tell you what would have happened next to you?"

Little Joe whispered again. "Then I'd be dead ..., just like Ma ..."

"Joe, I don't wanna lose you, too. Please promise me that in future you'll think about what you're doing. Don't be so impulsive all the time." Little Joe nodded eagerly. "Now try to close your eyes and sleep."

Adam stood up and gave his brother a kiss on the forehead, straightened his blankets again and left the room.

Little Joe looked a long time at the closed door. In his eyes, his brother was a hero. He'd never have dared to go into the cold water. Again a shiver went through him as he thought of the moment when he slipped off the bough. And his brother stood a long time in the cold water, without complaining. HE'd never have made it. In future, he'd do everything Adam would ask of him, and he'd watch out a lot better. He only had a problem with one thing. He had no idea what "impulsive" meant.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam went down the stairs and was about to sit a while in front of the fireplace to warm up before going to bed. He had just got changed his clothes quickly after he had reached the Ponderosa with Joe. Thereafter he had taken care of his brother with Hop Sing. Although he had already drunk two cups of tea, they didn't really warm him. However, Adam wouldn't ask Hop Sing to fill a new tub with warm water, as the cook had had enough to do with Joe and the supper.

Adam was very relieved that he could always rely on Hoss, since their father was gone. Every evening Hoss took care of the horses and the barn, and so there was no need for him to go out and check everything.

At the foot of the stairs he looked in surprise at the fireplace. "Hoss, what are you still doing down here? Didn't you want go to bed?"

Hoss' blue eyes looked at him guiltily. "Is Little Joe sleeping?"

"Not yet, but I suppose it won't take long."

"Adam, I'm so sorry. I won't play hide and seek with Little Joe in the future any more."

Adam should have known that Hoss would blame himself although he, Adam, was to blame for what had happened, and not his brother. Adam couldn't expect that Hoss was watching Little Joe all the time. Although he had always taken care of Hoss at the same age, it was something totally different with Little Joe. Adam had never had these problems with Hoss. Though he had skipped out one time or another, he had never put himself at a rash risk.

Adam sat in front of the fireplace and pointed to the seat next to him. With eyes down Hoss sat down next to his brother. "Hoss, please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. We can't lock up Little Joe all day in his room. He must - as we both - learn to think about his actions before and the fact that life here is also connected with dangers."

"But something like that doesn't happen to you. You've been taking care of me and Little Joe, too, and never something has happened."

"I was lucky with you. You were never as wild as Joe and moreover, Koko was often with us when I should have had an eye on you."

"But I got the feeling that you always do everything right and I don't. For you everything looks so easy."

"Hoss, you're doing nothing wrong. Do you know how much you help me, by tending to the horses and to Little Joe in school and being there for him thereafter? There's a lot I wouldn't manage to do if you weren't here to help me."

Hoss blushed and looked shyly at his shoes. "Oh Adam, you don't say ..., I'd be a real help if I could only help you with your chores."

"Hoss, everyone does what he does best; you love the work with the horses and me, I like the business stuff. In spring you can surely help me with the fences and rounding up of cattle."

"But with Little Joe I failed. You've always taken care of me, so nothing could have happened to me."

"Hoss, may I remind you of the rattlesnake story? Did I pay enough attention to you then? That could have turned out pretty wrong. Believe me, things like today just happen. The important thing is to learn something from it, and I hope that Little Joe has finally realized that he needs to think before acting."

Hoss looked at Adam. "You believe that, Adam?"

"No ... but I hope so, Hoss."

For a while they sat there without saying anything. Just as Adam wanted to tell his brother that he should go to bed now, Hoss took a deep breath and looked at him. "Adam, do you think Pa will be back home again at Christmas?"

Adam had suspected that his brothers were going to ask him some time or other, but why did it had to be today. He wanted to go into his warm bed at last. He also didn't know what to tell Hoss. "I don't know, Hoss."

"Didn't he even get in touch with you?"

Adam ran his hand through his hair. He had promised Hoss during their last talk that he'd always tell him the truth concerning their father. "He wrote me a letter."

Hoss head snapped up, and he looked at him with wide eyes. "And where's the letter? Why didn't you read it to us?"

"Hoss, Pa didn't write much."

Hoss voice rose. "But he wrote to us, and you just said nothing!"

Adam looked a his hands. "Adam? What was in the letter?"

"That I shouldn't worry and he's doing well."

Hoss couldn't sit any longer due to his excitement. His Pa wrote them, perhaps it meant that he would be home soon. "What else did he write? When is he coming back?"

Eagerly Hoss looked at his brother, but when he lifted his head, he guessed by Adam's face that the answer couldn't be good. "Hoss, he didn't write more. That was all!"

"Can this have been all?"

"That's why I told you nothing. I didn't want you to be disappointed."

Hoss sat back down next to Adam. His euphoria was blown away. "Then you don't believe that he'll be back home for Christmas?"

" I don't think so. But not because he doesn't want to, but because the weather's so bad."

He couldn't watch Hoss' disappointed eyes any longer. Adam knew he made a quite uncertain statement. "I assume that he'll come home after winter."

Instantly his brother had glistening in his eyes. "Do you really believe that? He'll come back home and hasn't forgotten us?"

Adam tried to smile. "Of course, Hoss. He'd never forget us. We're his family."

Hoss' entire face was beaming with delight. "Perhaps there will be a Christmas letter from him after all."

"Yes Hoss, perhaps we'll get one."

Although Adam couldn't quite believe it himself, his brother had something he could cling to. "Hoss, I think we should go to bed now. It's already quite late and tomorrow you have to go to school."

Quite relieved Hoss stood up. "Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Hoss."

On the stairs Hoss stopped for a moment. "Adam ... thanks for always being there for us."

Adam smiled at his brother. "Hoss, that's what brothers are for."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A week later the three brothers spent the afternoon at Koko's and celebrated her birthday. Adam was sitting on the settee enjoying the warmth of the fireplace. "You look tired. Didn't you sleep well?"

Koko had sat down beside him and Adam stretched. "Not really. I think that's due to the work of the last two days. The roof of the bunkhouse collapsed due to the first snowfall, so we had to work from sunup to sundown to build a new roof. I guess that has worn me out. "

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Moreover, if I'm with you, I always can be relaxed, and then I haven't to worry about anything."

"Oh, that's why you are here so often - and I always thought it was, because you liked us."

Adam put his finger to his mouth, looking at the ceiling and pretending to think deeply. "Well, you're pretty nice."

"Adam ...!" Koko gave him a prod. Then she looked over her shoulder at Little Joe. "The way it looks, Little Joe has gotten over his excursion on the tree quite well. He didn't even catch a cold."

"Yes, he had once again more luck than brains. But I'm glad he got over it so well. Look at him yet. If he had gotten a flu or pneumonia, he wouldn't be able to cope with it very easily. He's just as thin as a rake."

"Oh yes, I remember well that Marie and your father had to worry about him every winter ... . sorry, Adam. I didn't mean to ..."

She had seen how Adam got a straight face when mentioning Marie and his father. „That's okay, Koko. Doesn't bother me any longer to talk about Marie or my father. I just thought how Hoss and Joe will cope with Christmas this year. Koko, I had hoped so much that my father would come back this year. Not for me, but for those two. I just don't know how to celebrate a descent Merry Christmas with them."

As always when she noticed that he struggled with himself and his feelings, she sought for contact with him. So she took his hand and sat closer to him. "Then join us, even if we don't celebrate Christmas like you do. We'll sit together and have something special to eat."

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Koko, quite honestly - I've no idea how I would have survived the last few months without you."

Koko looked at her friend with a concerned look. "Adam, are you really all right?"

Without opening his eyes, he answered her. "As I've said before, I'm just tired and pretty much done."

For a while she sat beside him in silence. Then she realized that he had fallen asleep. Koko stood up and sat down next to her mother at the table who was playing cards with Hoss and Joe. Aponi first looked at her and then at Adam in amazement. "What happened? I hope you didn't have an argument."

"No. He's asleep."

Her mother looked over at Adam. "Is he all right?"

"He says he's just tired. He had to work a lot the last two days."

Hoss put his cards aside. "Hmm, that's right. They had to build a new roof very quickly. That's the reason why he's so done. When we came home from school today, he slept at the desk."

Aponi looked back at Adam and started to get a little worried. She knew Adam already good enough to know that he, no matter what he had done, would never just sleep during the day, let alone twice. So she decided to keep an eye on him. On Sunday the three would be back for lunch. Then she'd talk to Adam, if he didn't feel any better.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam got off his horse and led it to the barn. Today was another one of those days when each of his movements hurt. He had been so happy that he wasn't as tired as at Koko's birthday. But now, four days later, he again felt as if he had participated in a cattle drive. He led Santoro into the stall, but before he took off the saddle, he leaned with his head against it and closed his eyes. Already on the way to the ranch, he had to stop several times because he felt dizzy, but that was surely only because he had felt no real hunger and therefore didn't eat enough during the last few days. Adam pulled himself together and loosened the cinch.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was early morning, and Adam stood in the kitchen to make a cup of tea. While he waited for the water to boil, he sat down at the small table and put his head on his arms. What he had tried to suppress the last few weeks, was no longer possible. Adam felt awful. His head and his bones ached. Since yesterday he had a cough. Not all day, but when he coughed, his chest felt like it was being torn into a thousand pieces.

But he didn't want to and could not be sick. It wasn't long till Christmas, and he wanted his brothers to have a Christmas as beautiful as possible. Besides he had said to Hop Sing that he could spend the rest of the year with his family, as he and his brothers would spend the holidays at Koko's. He couldn't ruin Christmas holidays for all of them, just because he couldn't pull himself together.

Adam took a deep breath and was just glad it was winter and there wasn't so much work to do at the ranch. So he could have a rest now till Hoss and Joe came home from school.

He raised his head. The water had boiled. He hadn't quite the strength to stand up. He stared for a while at the boiling water. But then he pushed his chair back, rose slowly and took the pot from the stove. But he couldn't hold it any more. Adam had to hold on to the stove, because the room spun again. Cursing aloud he dragged himself back to the chair. He laid his head back onto his arms and closed his eyes.

Adam woke up when he heard the front door slam. Hoss and Joe were back from school, talking and laughing in the living room. Adam cursed again. It looked like he had fallen asleep again and forgotten to prepare lunch. Carefully, he got up, went to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face to get a bit clearer again. Then he took a deep breath and went to Hoss and Joe.

Hoss fell silent as he saw him coming from the kitchen, but Little Joe ran instantly to Adam to tell him what he had experienced in school today. Still in silence Hoss looked at his brother. He had told Koko today that he was worried about Adam. That he felt tired so often and barely talked to them. He had wondered a long time about whether he should let her know, because he knew that Adam couldn't stand when someone thought he was sick. But when he looked at Adam now, it had been best to tell Koko so she could inform Aponi. Like everyone else, Koko's mother thought that Adam really had been done just because of repairing that bunkhouse roof. But as it looked, there was still more behind his tiredness. Adam was white as a sheet and thus the dark rings under his eyes became even more evident. Hoss had heard him cough yesterday and it did not sound, as if he was choking.

"Adam, I'm so very hungry. What did you plan for lunch today?"

Little Joe looked at him expectantly. "Nothing special, Little Joe. I had so much to do today and couldn't prepare anything. Please bring your bag up while I'm fixing something to eat."

"Yep, will do."

Little Joe turned around to run to his room. "Adam, why don't you rest and I get us some sandwiches?"

Hoss had stepped closer to Adam. "Why should I rest? I'm not tired."

Adam's tone was so serious that Hoss didn't dare say anything else. He was better to leave Adam alone till Aponi got here. Adam would listen to her. This Hoss knew for sure.

Adam turned around and went back to the kitchen. He leaned his head against the wall having no idea how to survive the day.

"Pa ... Why aren't you here?... I need you."

That was the last thing he whispered before his world turned black, his legs gave in and he fell to the ground.


	22. Chapter 22

The horse came to a halt, snorting. The way hadn't been easy. There had been a lot of fresh snow at night. All the time he had looked forward to this moment and imagined how it might be. But now that he was only a few yards away, his courage had left. He stood in the clearing and could see his house. It was a beautiful picture, as it stood there with all the fresh snow, and the smoke rising from the chimney.

Actually, all of them would be sitting at lunch. Would they talk about him, or wasn't he a topic any more? Ben wouldn't be surprised. What at that time appeared to be right, he realized over time has been the biggest mistake of his life. Today he no longer understood how he could just go and leave his three sons alone. How could he have saddled Adam all that responsibility? At once these images shot in his head, as his son has had to hold on to the banister after his blow. Ben would never be able to forget it. How could he lose control like that? Would Adam be willing to forgive him? How would he welcome his father at all? Would his three sons be happy anyway that he was back? Could he expect - only because it was Christmas in two days - that they'd forgive him?

"The final step shouldn't be more difficult than the first." Ben spun around. Leisurely Amarok approached on his horse. "Nice that your heart has found his way home."

"Amarok ..."

Ben could hear no reproach or anger in the voice of the Indian. He had expected that especially Amarok would be cold to him because Ben had only thought of himself, and not of Adam and his brothers. Koko's father had told him more than once, of which importance children were for the Indians. Here, a father would never let his children down as Ben had done.

"It's good that your journey is to end now."

"I know I've made a big mistake. I can only hope that they will forgive me."

Now the Indian was with his horse next to Ben. "Ben, a decision you make, isn't a mistake. Life is like the course of a sandy road with many turnings. Sometimes our heart is in turmoil, so we don't see the right path at the crossroads of life. But we should learn from it and find the way back."

"No, Amarok, what I did can't be excused. I've done something that your people would never do."

"But you've done it. You've taken this step. Now you should handle the wisdom well, that you've learned on your way so you won't go wrong again."

Ben looked down to the Ponderosa. „Will Adam be able to forgive me?"

"His heart has been very darkened towards you, Ben, but it still has enough light and warmth in it that you can find the way back to him."

"Amarok, why isn't it hard for you to understand my son while it gets more and more difficult for me?"

The Indian smiled at Ben. "Ben, you're always waiting for the words of Wynono. But they won't come. You have to learn to understand his soul."

"His soul? How should I understand his soul if he doesn't tell me what he thinks or feels."

Amarok had to smile, how different the talks with Wynono and his father were. Wynono had learned early to let the words sink in himself to be able to understand them. Ben didn't know the power of silence.

"The soul speaks to you through the eyes, the gestures and motions. Words, however, can often deceive you. They needn't reflect what the soul feels."

Ben tried to understand what Amarok wanted to tell him. It was actually the same thing that Marie had always told him. That he should pay more attention to what Adam did not tell him. But why was this so hard for him? He didn't notice that he quietly spoke his next words to himself. "Why can't he be like his two other brothers?"

"Do you really need to ask, Ben?" Ben looked at Amarok irritated. "Your three sons have experienced their childhood in very different ways.

Little Joe was the first five years of his life only surrounded by nature and peace and could save the love of his parents and brothers in his heart. That's why he can run carefree as a young horse across the plains.

Your son Hoss has indeed had no home the first few years, but he had your and Wynono's love and care and Marie's, too.

Wynono, ... his childhood didn't know the word home. He has seen and heard many things, which no child should see. He saw furthermore a father who pursued his goal with courage and strength. Who worked for his dream from sunup to sundown. And now I ask you, Ben, what had your two younger sons what Wynono had not?"

Ben had to think some time what Koko's father was trying to tell him with these words. Many thoughts raced through his mind, but he found nothing that Adam might have been missing to explain why it was sometimes so hard for him to understand his eldest. "Amarok, please help me. I don't understand what you're trying to say to me."

Again, Amarok was aware how different Ben was. Even if Ben had a good heart and loved nature and the land, he would never have a look for a single stone along the way and to have a look at it in silence. "Ben, Wynono realized early that he needs to keep his emotions and fears for himself, so that you can reach your goal. He had a strong father as a role model, and so he had to be strong early, too ..., for you and your goal. He had no one with whom he could share the restlessness in his heart."

At first Ben wanted to tell Amarok that what he claimed, was complete nonsense, but then he thought about it and realized with horror that his words had some truth. How often he had told Adam when he was a child, he should stop crying, because tears would be no solution? How often had he told him that he just had no time to listen to him? How often he had smiled about his fears and told him that a real man shouldn't be afraid? And all these years, Ben had thought that their many conversations they had in the evening out on their journey, had been sufficient for the lack of time, he couldn't give his son during the day.

He sadly looked at the Ponderosa. To his dream. What did he already lose on the way? Elizabeth, ... Inger, ... Marie, ... and now maybe even Adam? With Hoss and Joe he was quite sure that they would forgive him with time, but Adam? Was this the reason he was afraid to go the last few yards? Afraid that his eldest would turn him down?

"You said that his heart has not completely darkened. Will I reach him?"

"Ben, we Indians say that the strongest warrior usually has the biggest heart. Wynono is very strong. In his heart you will always have a special place. It is big enough to forgive you if you learn to understand his soul. Do not be afraid to take the final step."

He smiled at Wynono's father again. "Ben, I know you don't always understand my advice, but I'll give you this on the way nonetheless. Love knows neither past nor future. Like a flame it's realized at the very moment with its immediate beauty. Learn to live in the moment, then your fear will disappear and the moment will be eternity. There is no other eternity."

Ben smirked. Amarok was right. He didn't understand him always, but he had understood these words. "Thanks Amarok. I still have noticed and understood what you once said to Adam ... .. The truth is always worth to be told. Although it shocks or provokes ... I am sure that I have not only to thank you for this talk, but also for what you've done in the last months."

Ben now had found the courage to go the last few yards. But when he saw in Amaroks face, he was astonished. The Indian now looked at him affected. "Then you've understood my words and you'll continue the road of your life wisely and with all your heart?" Still amazed at Amaroks change, Ben nodded. "Then you should hurry. Wynono needs you now."

Ben's breath hitched. He noted due to Amarok's attitude that something must have happened. "What's wrong with Adam?"

"He's very sick. Aponi's with him, but what he needs most now, is his father at his side."

Ben looked at Amarok in shock. "Why didn't you say that sooner?"

"Ben, you should go this way for the right reasons and not out of concern and compassion. Now go."

Ben gave spurs to his horse and rode as fast as the road would allow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ben pushed the door open and rushed into the house. Hoss, Little Joe and Koko, who all sat on the sofa, spun their heads around.

"PA!"

Little Joe jumped over the settee and ran to his father. Hoss got up as well and ran to him. Ben went to his knees and hugged his two sons. Again he was painfully aware of the mistake of leaving them alone. In his heart everything clenched. He never wanted to forget that feeling again, so he wouldn't make that same mistake again.

"Hoss, ... Joseph, ... how are you?"

"Fine, Pa ...! I knew that you'd come back for Christmas. Hoss and Adam didn't believe it. But I knew you would make it."

Despite his joy Hoss looked at his father seriously. "Pa, are you staying here or do you have to leave us again when Adam dies?"

Instantly there was silence in the room. Koko came closer and put a hand on Hoss shoulder. "Hoss, Adam won't die. His condition is already a little better."

Hoss put his arms around his father's neck. "Pa, please never go away again for so long."

Ben had to swallow. "I never will, Hoss. I promise to you ... Never again." Ben looked up at Koko. "What happened to Adam, Koko? Where is he?"

"He's upstairs in his room. My mother is with him."

Slowly Ben got up. "What's wrong with him?"

"He has pneumonia. He hasn't taken the first symptoms seriously, and we haven't recognized it."

Ben looked up. He stroked Little Joe's hair and looked at his two sons again. "Hoss, Joe, I would like to go off to your brother. I'll be back to you as soon as possible."

With joy beaming over his face Little Joe hugged his father again.

Ben ran up the stairs, and Joe watched Hoss, who still looked sad and depressed. "Hoss, you can smile again. Pa is back, and then Adam will soon be well again. In school they told us at Christmas all wishes come true. And that was my biggest wish."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Quietly Ben opened Adam's bedroom door. Aponi sat on a chair next to his bed. When she saw Ben, she smiled and her eyes shone with joy. She stood up and held out her hands. Quietly, she welcomed him. "Ben, it's good that you're back. The boys need your support right now."

He looked at his son in bed. His face was flushed with fever. Single strands clung to his forehead. Ben went reluctantly to the bed and sat on the edge. Very gently he took Adams hand. He winced when he felt how hot it was. Although he lay there, Ben could see how he – just like Hoss and Little Joe - had changed during the nine months. He gently stroked Adam's hair from his forehead. His finger ran along Adams lip. Was his punch that evening the cause of this scar? He closed his eyes, bowed his head and held Adam's hand to his forehead. His voice wasn't more than a whisper. "Please don't punish me by taking my son." He took a deep breath and with a desperate glance he looked at Aponi. "How long has he been sick? What did the doc say?"

Koko's mother took her chair and sat down next to Ben. "I think it started already at Koko's birthday, but every time I saw Adam, he disguised it skilfully. But a week ago, he collapsed in the kitchen. Doc Martin was here on the very same day and didn't need long to find out that Adam had pneumonia. He left medicine for him. However, he has had trouble getting back here because the weather has been too bad ."

"But Adam surely needs new medicine again. We need to send someone to town to get it. It's possible. I pulled through as well!"

She put a hand on Ben's knee. "Ben, don't worry. Adam's already getting better. The fever is no longer as high and he breathes much easier. The herbs of the medicine man of the Gosiute have done him well."

Ben looked back at Adam. It had been even worse than now? Again this pain cut through his heart.

"Ben, why don't you go now down to Joe and Hoss, and in an hour you'll take over."

Ben didn't know what to do. On the one hand, he of course wanted to stay with Adam, but he also had promised those two to be right back for them. Aponi noticed his dilemma. The concerns to make a wrong decision. "Ben, don't think with your head. Think with your heart."

"But my heart wants to remain in both places."

"But it is. Adam will have sensed that you're here now, but he won't wake up again until an hour or two. Then you should be with him."

Ben breathed deeply. He had imagined his return a little different. Gently he stood up. With hanging head he went to the door. When he walked past Aponi, he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Thanks Aponi, for everything."

She put her hand on his. "You have three wonderful sons and soon you will be a family again."

Ben left the room concerned.


	23. Chapter 23

Very carefully Ben rubbed the paste on Adam's chest, which Aponi had given to him. Although he would have preferred Paul's medicine, he tried to rely on the healing herbs of the medicine man. Until now, Adam had only been briefly awake and looked at him, and then closed his eyes again to continue to sleep. Did his son even notice him at all? Would he be happy that he was sitting at his bedside?

The hour that Ben had spent with Hoss and Joe had been very nice. As he had hoped, the two were overjoyed that he was back and had hardly any complaints. Hoss has still been very quiet at the beginning, but with time he was again as Ben knew him. Much he had already learned during this hour of what had happened in the last few months, but surely not all. He had got a fright when his boys had told him why Adam was so sick. Ben had only watched his youngest and shaken his head. How often would his heart skip a beat in near future? What had he missed?

Little Joe was able to read and write his first words. Hoss no longer looked like the small, awkward child who only lived in his dream world. So how would Adam have changed in these nine months? The first change Ben saw right now and he had to smile. Maybe he should give Adam a razor as a Christmas gift.

Ben put the bowl with the paste back on the bedside table and wiped his hands. Then he sat back on the chair at Adam's bed. Now he thought of Christmas, though he didn't even know if his son might survive the next day. He felt a little anger in himself. How could Adam go into the cold water? Had there been any other way? Could he have had prevent it, if he had been there? Ben rested his elbows on his knees and put his hands over his face. How could he let it come to this? Why had pain made him so blind? He had forgotten everything Marie had told him in recent years over again. That in everything he did never to let his sons out of his sight. As soon as she was gone, he no longer thought of her words. He took his hands from his face and his eyes fell on the picture of Elizabeth, which stood at Adam's bedside table. "Please help me to find back to him again. That in future I don't make such mistakes, as in his first years. Help me to understand him, so that he can trust me again."

Ben knew that Adam would leave the Ponderosa when he was well again if they couldn't find a way of common understanding. Adam was old enough to take this step. So he took Adam's hand and didn't let go for the next hour.

"Pa? ..." Ben lifted his head. He must have dozed. Adam had his eyes opened slightly and looked at him. Slowly Ben rose from his chair and leaned over to his son. He stroke his hair back to touch his forehead. It wasn't as hot as it had been some hours before. "Adam, I'm here now and I'll stay with you. Everything will be all right."

Slowly Adam raised his hand to touch his father's arm. It was as if he wanted to make sure that his Pa really was sitting at his bedside. Ben took Adam's hand and was shocked how weak it felt.

"I'm really here, son, and I won't leave again."

Adam turned his head and looked at the table with Ben following his gaze. He let go of his hand and stood up. Aponi had brought him a jug of Indian beverage. Ben poured some of it into a glass, sat down next to Adam and lifted his head so he could sit up more easily. Very carefully, he helped his son drinking. Then he put Adam's head again gently back on the pillow and put down the glass. Adam closed his eyes again. A short time later Ben heard, as he spoke softly. "Where's Aponi?"

"She's down with your brothers and Koko."

"She shouldn't go ... she should be here ..."

Ben closed his eyes. In his body everything clenched. Didn't his son want him to be at his side? Had he really believed Adam would forgive him so easily? Just because he was sick? He took Adam's hand again. "Shall I call for her, Adam?"

Adam turned his head again, opened his eyes and looked at him. "No ..., for Hoss and Joe ..."

Relieved Ben sat back on the chair. "Don't worry, Adam. She takes care of both."

His son closed his eyes again. A tear ran down Ben's cheeks, as he felt Adam squeezing his hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Koko sat on Adam's bed, leaning back against the bottom end. Adam sat opposite her leaning against the headboard. Without taking her glance from the game board, she spoke to him. "Have you taken your medicine?"

He crossed his arms. "Yes, I have, and you know it well. I won't look anywhere else, so you can cheat."

Indignant, she raised her head. "I never cheat."

"No, of course not. You never do when you're stuck. And don't think about moving, so the board might fall down by accident."

She also crossed her arms. "Is that all the thanks I get for visiting you every day during the last few weeks?"

"You visit me for only two days. Before that, you couldn't visit me because you lived here with your mother."

She tried to look at him annoyed. "You know, Adam, I wonder who will put up with you for more than two hours in a room. I'd better reconsider every sentence carefully before pronouncing it. As if you didn't know what I meant."

He only grinned at her.

She looked at the board and was about to give up again. It was more fun to play checkers with Hoss and Little Joe. After all, the chances were better to win a game. "Ok, I surrender. You won again."

„One more?"

"Certainly not."

She took the pieces, put them back in the box and snapped the board shut. She held the board and looked at her friend. After almost four weeks he was nearly his old self again. Although he still got tired quickly, he had no cough and no fever any more. Doc Martin had said that Adam could get up next week to get used to everyday life again.

„Did you already talk with your father about the last months?"

As if she hadn't guessed! His face turned serious at once. He didn't like to talk about it, but she had intended to not give up concerning this subject. Her father had said when the two wanted to get back together again, they needed to talk. But as it looked like they hadn't done it yet.

"Adam, you have to eventually talk to each other. When you can get up again at the latest. Or where do you want to hide?"

„I do not hide!"

„You don't have to be angry with me."

He looked away from her and at the window. "Koko, it's not so simple. I'm glad that he's back, and that he was with me, as I felt so bad. But I'd have preferred that he'd come later. Now I find it hard to be still angry at him. I've noticed how worried he was about me." Adam looked at her. „Koko, he has looked after me so much during the last weeks. How should I say now that I'm disappointed in him about what he has done."

"But you cannot simply ignore it, as if the last few months had never existed. It would always stand between you. I think it's perfectly well that he has returned already. This way you can have a talk without your feelings interferring. Otherwise you would have vented all your anger on him, and you wouldn't be able to speak reasonably about it."

"I wasn't mad at him."

"Nonsense! You were and you are still, even if you do not show it that much! But I know exactly when and why you're angry. You can fool the others, but not me! For this I know you too long."

He ran his hand through his hair. "You're right. I'll talk to him when I get up again and may go down. We need to make it right. There's so much I changed in his absence. I also need to tell him that I have no intention to go back to school."

She looked at him shocked. "Why won't you go to school anymore? Now that your father has returned, you have the chance to come back again."

Adam shook his head. "No, certainly not. Till I'm right back on my feet again, it'll be mid or end of February. Then I was almost a year off of school. I can't sit in there and listen like a good schoolboy. I'm going to work here on the Ponderosa. Just as last year."

"But what's happened your wish to study? Did you give up?"

"Nope. Look at my desk. There's a letter from Mr. Conner Hoss had brought me just before the holidays." Koko stood up and took the envelope. "You can read it."

Koko took the letter, sat down on the bed, read the lines and looked at him with a skeptical look. "And you believe, you will make it? When Mr. Conner wrote the letter, he was surely thinking that you can prepare for the entrance exam the whole winter. It's already scheduled for March. Shouldn't you better defer to next year?"

"Oh no. Then I'd have to wait another two years till I can study. I'll do the exam, and if I succeed, I can to go to college next year, even though I still have no idea what I really want to study."

"For me it's no question what you do have to study, but what you should ask yourself is whether you can learn all the course material until March?"

He looked at her with his typical facial expression. If he had something on his mind, it had to be carried out, regardless of what others thought about it. This characteristic would later certainly bring him trouble repeatedly. Of this she was sure.

"This isn't a problem. I can handle it, but what should I study in your opinion?"

In disbelief she looked at him. He really had to ask? "I cannot believe that you don't get it by yourself. Adam, you've designed and built the porch on your house with Marie. When my mother mentioned once that she wants to modify the kitchen, you've sketched quickly how she can fulfil her dream. These are just two examples where you have proposed your ideas. I could name even more without problems. Do something with it. Learn to create houses, bridges and ... oh, what do I know. Your head is full of ideas when it comes to such things."

"Hmm ... I'll think about it, but as your father always says, I shouldn't look so far into the future. First I have to pass the examination."

Koko stood up and put the letter back on the desk. She would feel so happy if he was going to pass the exam. On the other hand, this meant that Adam would be away for quite a while. "Koko, what's wrong? Why do you look so sad?"

She only shrugged. He tapped his hand on the bed. "Come here. What's the matter with you, or should I get up and come to you?"

She gave him an unwilling glance and sat down on the bed beside him. "It's silly and you'll certainly laugh about it."

He raised two fingers. "I swear I won't laugh."

She took a deep breath. "I am indeed glad for you, if you pass the exam and can go to college next year. But that means that we don't see each other for three, four or five years. I always miss you when you're on the cattle drive in summer. But how will it be without you?"

He looked into her eyes, looking at him dejected. Carefully, he leaned over and kissed her. At first, she froze and looked at him in surprise. Then she kissed him gently. When their lips parted, Adam smiled. Koko pushed him gently back into the pillows and stood up. "I'd better go now."

"Are you coming back tomorrow?"

She nodded and closed the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam slowly went down the stairs. His father sat at his desk looking at some documents. Today he had planned to try to talk to him. Koko had been right. What had happened was between them in all conversations that he had with his father. But neither of them had dared to go first to talk about what happened.

Adam stood at the table and his father raised his head. He needn't say anything. Ben knew instantly why he had come. "Shall we talk here, Adam or in the living room by the fireplace?"

Adam pulled up a chair and sat down. Ben already suspected that it wouldn't be an easy talk. He leaned back in his chair. Once again he stated that his son was no longer the boy he had left last year in March. In front of him sat a young man who seemed to know exactly what he wanted. "Adam, what happened last year, I won't be able to undo with words. Today I can't explain any more why the loss of Marie has so got me off course that I was about to forget everything being important to me. I can't forgive myself that I just left, without thinking of you and of what I've done to you. Not to mention what has happened the evening before. Adam, I can only ask you to forgive me, so that we start over and you trust me again."

It was hard to wait for his son to give him an answer. It took quite a time before he spoke to him. Adam only looked at him. "You're right, I cannot understand what you felt after Marie's death. My feelings for her were very different from yours. But why did it take you full nine months to admit that you made a mistake? Why couldn't you write a letter to Hoss and Little Joe?"

"Because I didn't know what to write. I didn't find it right to send you a letter in which I tell you happily where I am. It would have been a lie ... Adam, I hadn't the courage to come back home and face you. I was afraid of the first encounter with you."

Adam fell silent again for quite some time and Ben had to control himself, not to ask him to finally give him an answer. But he hadn't forgotten Amarok's words. If he wanted to reach Adam again, he had to learn to understand his soul. And the way it looked, his son needed these moments of silence, to be able to talk to him. "How do you imagine our lives to continue, Pa? Shall we just go on as before? If you're thinking of that, I can tell you clearly that I cannot."

"Quite honestly, I didn't worry about it yet. But I assume that you're going back to school."

"No!"

Ben took a deep breath and Adam crossed his arms. "And why not?"

Adam stood up and turned directly to the desk of his father. "Why not? ... you really ask me why I won't go to school any longer? I took care of your ranch all by myself for almost a year. I had to do things I've never learned in school. I had to make decisions that many adults wouldn't have dared. I've organized a cattle drive, I've signed contracts and kept them to ensure that we could sell the timber. And now you expect me to go back to school again like a kid? I surely won't."

Ben gulped inwardly because Adam had clearly listed what he had expected of him. He had saddled the tasks of a man to his son from one day to another. Ben had to face the question of whether both of them could work on the ranch together at all. "Then I ask you, how do you imagine our future here?"

Adam sat back at his chair and said nothing at first. "In March I will participate in the entrance examination for college in order to study in Boston next year. Until I leave Nevada, I'd like to work with you here at the ranch, but only if you take me and my work seriously. And I'm not talking about mucking out the barn."

Ben didn't hesitate. "Adam, I think we should exactly do so and see if we can find our way back to each other until your departure. Tomorrow morning I'd like to talk to you about the contracts and changes that you've made so we can return to the everyday life of the ranch and prepare the works for spring."

Adam rose from his chair. "Well, Pa. Then we do it that way. I'll go up again to prepare for my exam."

"Adam, please wait a moment." Ben opened his desk's drawer and pulled out a small book. "I don't know if one day you can understand what I've done, especially since I don't quite understand it myself. In these nine months I've written a diary. Not about where I was and how the landscape looked, but what my thoughts were. Thoughts about my sons ..., about you ..., my wrong decisions and the fear to return back home. I'd like to give this book to you. Maybe you can read it sometime."

Adam took the book out of his father's hands and looked at it. Then he nodded and went upstairs to his room.


	24. Chapter 24

Ben leaned back in his chair and watched as Adam went off to his room. Thousands of thoughts and feelings were running through his head.He recalled their conversation. But he wasn't quite satisfied. Adam had told him almost nothing about his feelings, or what he really thought about the last year. That he was mad at him, he had only noticed at the point when Adam stood up and had explained to him why he didn't want to go to school any longer. Apart from that it had been a very businesslike and unemotional conversation.

As during the last time Ben got the impression that his son cared more about Hoss and Little Joe than about himself. Although Adam and he were very civil to each other there was as a fairly large distance between them. Tomorrow, when they would speak about what Adam had done last year for the Ponderosa, this wouldn't reduce the distance in any way. Ben was more concerned that it would get even greater.

It didn't take long, as even Mr. Williams appeared at the ranch to talk to him about Adam's decision to change the bank and his reasons for that. At first Ben didn't know what to say. From day one in Nevada he had been customer at Mr. Williams, and Ben realized that he only wanted to protect Adam from making a rash purchase. In the evening, Ben had looked at the sales contract and had to admit that Williams was right. The land was actually of no real value for the Ponderosa. He didn't understand why Adam had bought it and above all for much too high a price. With two longtime timber merchants, he hadn't signed a new contract. The cattle sales seemed to have gone normally. George also had reported there had been problems. But his foreman was like Adam terse in terms of their work at the ranch.

Ben exhaled loudly. It would still be a hard way back till everything ran as before Marie's death. The only ones, who didn't make him worry, were Little Joe and Hoss. Joseph was just happy that his father was back again and although Hoss watched him constantly, he also had a character that couldn't be angry with someone for long. Ben closed the books and stood up. He wanted to ride to Marie's grave, to collect his thoughts before the kids came home from school.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the evening, Adam sat with Koko and her family at the kitchen table. As often as possible, he tried to avoid taking his meals at home with his father. Of course he was glad he was back again, but leading a normal family life with him he could not. The conversation in the morning hadn't helped either. On the contrary. Adam got the impression that his father wanted to take over the old habits as soon as possible and would have accepted any of Adam's suggestion, just to avoid an argument. So he was sitting here poking around the plate and lost in thought. He didn't notice when Amarok put his knife and fork aside and looked at him. "Wynono, would you share your thoughts with us?"

Adam's head jerked up and he watched at the three alarmed. "Please excuse me. I suppose I should have stayed at home today."

"Noone has said this, Wynono. We would just like to join in what's on your mind."

Adam put the fork on the plate and leaned back. „I can't bother you with all my worries all the time. Since I've known you, you've done so much for me. I should learn by now to cope alone with what keeps me busy."

Amarok crossed his arms and looked at Adam insistently. "Did your illness cause that you have forgotten everything I taught you?"

"No, of course not."

"And what was one of the first things that you have learned?"

Adam smiled. As always Amarok was right and reminded him of the right path. "If something keeps me occupied and I'm worrying, I should use the power of silence. If I still feel lost, I should turn to friends."

"Can a tree with only one weak root withstand the storm?"

"No."

"And why do you want to try it?"

Adam reached for the glass of water and took a sip. "I've talked this morning with my father, but I still don't feel better. I can't manage to sit at the same table with him and have a quite normal talk, as if nothing ever happened. Amarok, you once told me a heart should be able to forgive, but I find it so difficult to do that. I find it hard to shoot off no thoughtless arrows, because if that happens, I don't need to come back from Boston. I'm afraid to feed the wrong wolf in my heart what concerns my father."

"Your heart had to endure a lot lately which wasn't always good. You have to free it from evil, to see the light again. So take your heart, throw it over the river and watch as it shines in new light. Then jump into and get it again."

Adam listened to himself, to see what it would mean to forgive his father and to continue to live with him at the ranch. Whether what had happened, and what he had experienced in this year, could fade into the background, so he could respect him again. „I think it won't be easy for me to talk with him about the work on the ranch tomorrow. I've got different ideas how some things should run, and I'm not sure if we can talk calmly about it."

"It's normal that you start to go your own way. You need not to follow the path of your father, but you shouldn't forget that he is your father. Wynono, release yourself quietly but firmly from being treated like a child, from the pressure of those who want to tell you what you must do. Trust the voices that come from the silence inside of you. Confide in them. Belief that your life is supported by a rhythm. That there is a flowing and a pouring, a rise and fall, an emptying and a refilling. Learn, not to act contrary to the rhythm, not to force something ahead of its time and not to do too late what is necessary. Learn to embed yourself into this rhythm and find it again in the world around you. You're a part of it."

Adam looked for quite some time only at the food on his plate, then he looked back at Koko's father. "But how should it all work, if it's only me trying to live with the changes?"

"It's raining many drops before one gains insight and many years will pass before you get wise and believe me, your father is on a good way to become wise."

Both continued their meal. The many words Amarok had just spoken to Adam, resonated in his head. He looked a little more relaxed on the coming day. The conversation wouldn't be much easier. But Adam was determined to approach the matter prudently and to be more patient with his father.

All four spent a nice evening until it was time for Adam to ride home. He just put on his jacket, as Amarok spoke to him again. "Wynono, before you go, you were right about one thing. You've to learn to stand on your own feet soon. When you go to the big city, I won't be able to be with you. I just hope that not everything I told you so far might be forgotten. So I'd like to give you something along the way, which you cannot only use in a year, but now.

Never forget that we have to bear the consequences if we aren't wise and don't think about the future. Watch your thoughts, for they become your words; pay attention to your words, for they are your actions; pay attention to your actions, for they become your habit; watch your habits, for they become your character; pay attention to your character; for it is your destiny."

Adam closed his jacket and took his hat. "I will always remember your words, Amarok, and I'll try to live by them." Then he looked to Koko. "Would you help me to take Santoro out of the barn?"

Koko glanced at her father, who nodded. So she took her jacket and walked with Adam out of the house.

Aponi turned to her husband. "Don't you think it would be better if you also have a look at the moon out there? You know, the relation between the two has changed in the last few weeks."

Amarok smiled at his wife. "I know that, and I know that their hearts beat with the same rhythm, but not in the rhythm of love. The two will realize that as well."

Aponi shook her head. "Then I just hope that they realize it before it's too late for both. Otherwise Wynono can forget about Boston."

XXXXXX

Ben and Adam had waited till Hoss and Little Joe were on their way to school. Then they went into the office, and Ben took some documents. "In the past few weeks I looked at everything that you have done last year. I cannot deny that I'm impressed how you dealt with the situation. You sold the cattle at a very good price, so I'm surprised that you've noted in your records that you don't want to enter into a new contract with Mr. Collins. Have there been problems?"

"Yes. He did not take me seriously."

Ben raised his arms and looked at his son, shaking his head. "But Adam! That's no reason! He certainly hadn't expected you being responsible for the trail. You should see the price first and foremost and not know how he treats you. "

….Remember your words ... Your words determine your actions ... Detach yourself quietly but firmly from your father ...

"I think you want to be taken seriously by your business partners as well. And I want nothing else. I had to learn fast that I have to earn me respect if I should represent the ranch successfully. And my opponent shouldn't bother about the age of someone, but whether the work has been done properly. Mr. Collins had received excellent cattle and there wasn't more he should have been interested in."

Ben wanted to put the documents on the desk. "Have we lost two of our longtime partners in the timber business because of that?"

"Yes."

Ben tossed the papers in his hand quite forcefully on the desk. "My goodness, Adam, you cannot vex all of them because of your hurt pride."

Adam stood firm despite his father's rage. "Pa, what's your problem? The timber was sold, and you got a good price for it. The only thing being different on the contracts is the name of the trader."

"Trust is the word, son. You should be able to trust your business partners and that comes over the years."

"Trust, Pa? I've noticed how they trust me. In their eyes, the name Cartwright was suddenly worthless and with such people I don't want to cooperate. But since you're back again and it's your ranch, you're welcome to do business again with these trustworthy people."

Ben went around the desk and sat down in his chair. He tried to stay calm and to understand what motivated his son to make these decisions. "What did they do that you think you cannot trust them?"

Adam didn't sit down. He halted at the desk. "They've tried to pull a fast one on me. Not paying the agreed price and falsifying the numbers."

Inwardly Ben sighed in relief being glad that he had inquired more specifically. "I wouldn't have expected that, but now I understand your decision, to not cooperate with them any longer."

Ben pushed some papers aside and took the sales contract of the piece of land which Adam had bought. This issue certainly wouldn't be so easy. "Adam, Mr. Williams paid me a visit at the beginning of January. He told me that we're no longer clients of his bank, because you weren't willing to listen to him or to accept some well-meant advice." Ben hesitated, trying to find the right words. He looked at his son, who followed his words with a straight face. "Adam, I don't understand what's so important about this piece of land that we're having disagreements with Mr. Williams because of that. And what I personally think to be even worse is that you've sold timber, which should be cut in two years at the earliest."

"I needed the money to outbid the railway company."

Ben had restrained himself long, but now he gave his son a grim look. "You didn't answer my question. With this piece of land we cannot work. The pastures aren't big enough and the trees in the woods haven't got the quality of the timber the Ponderosa normally is known for. So why do we need this land?"

Did Ben get it right that his son was looking at him in disappointment? "You haven't really thought about this piece of land, otherwise you wouldn't ask me. As it seems, Mr. Williams hasn't told you everything about our conversation."

Ben didn't know what his son meant. "Of course I know which piece of land we are talking about."

And again there was one of these breaks that his son had become accustomed to, and with which Ben had his problems. "The way it looks, Pa, we both have different opinions as to what the Ponderosa should stand for. Obviously you only see what profit you can get out of this land. I can see more in this land than money. I can see what it gives to us and so I have to preserve it in first place. With everything that lives on it."

Ben jerked up. "Adam don't be silly. You want to tell me that you are against progress and that you don't want the railroad to expand?"

"Not at all costs."

His father held the sales contract to his face. "This piece of land, for which you've paid way too much, isn't of any value for us, and I'll try to sell it again."

Ben could feel the wall growing between him and his son. "You can't. On the sales contract is my name and not yours. And for me this land has a lot of value. It makes me sad that you don't see why."

Ben spoke louder than intended. "Then tell me why it's worth so much in your eyes."

"Would you have viewed it with the eyes of your heart and not with the eyes in your head, you knew it."

Adam went to the door putting on his jacket. "Adam, would you kindly stay here, so we can talk about it? I would ask you to speak decently with me. You're not the son of Amarok, but mine." Adam said nothing and put his holster on. "Adam ..." His son still showed no reaction. "And about this ..." Ben pointed at his son's gun belt, "... we should even talk."

Adam took his hat looking up at his father. "We still have to talk about much, Pa, but right now it isn't a good time."

He opened the door and left the house. Ben turned to the desk and tossed the sales contract on the desk. "Damn it!"


	25. Chapter 25

Ben took a deep breath and leaned against his desk. He had expected that the conversation wouldn't be easy, but that it would get so out of hand he hadn't expected at all. Once again he had to breathe loudly. Ben wondered what it was that he could not lead a calm conversation with Adam. Why had his son been just so stubborn? Adam couldn't really believe that at his age he already had the experience to cope with everything. Why couldn't he listen to others when they told him that his decision was a mistake? And to buy this land, was a mistake. Ben wondered what to do next. He couldn't sell the land without Adam's consent but what was he to do with it? He looked at the letter the railway company had sent him last week. The offer wasn't bad, what they wanted to pay for the land. He still couldn't understand why this piece of land was so important for Adam. Definitely they both had to speak about it again and about the fact that he was almost every evening at Koko's. If they wanted to be a real family again, he should know where his home was. Ben looked at the door. If he waited until Adam came to him, it would surely take some time again. So he took his jacket and went looking for his son.

George was about to get his horse ready. "Good morning, George. Did you see Adam?"

The foreman tightened the cinch and tapped his hat. "Good morning, Mr. Cartwright. Adam rode right off with the men to get the camp ready, so we can start to round up the cattle on Monday." George noticed that his boss looked worriedly in the direction of the camp. "Don't worry, Mr. Cartwright. Adam has indeed already regained his strength, but I'll still keep an eye on him so he doesn't overdo it."

"Thank you George, but you don't need to because I'll ride to the camp, too."

George had the reins of his horse in his hand and looked at his boss seriously. „No need. Adam has the matters up there under control."

Ben put his hands on his hips and his eyes flashed angrily. "George, it is still my ranch, and if I want to ride to the camp, I'll do that."

The foreman pulled his hat low over his eyes. "Of course you can, I just wanted to point out that the work is all running well, and you needn't to be there but on Monday."

"For you to note, I'm back again, and I make the decisions. Not you and not Adam."

George was about to mount his horse, but then he hesitated and turned back to Ben. "With all due respect, Sir. In the time when you weren't here, Adam has built up a position here which you shouldn't take from him. The hands accept and trust him. They wouldn't hesitate to go with him on another cattle drive. Don't ruin this trust by YOU not trusting your son. Don't treat him like prior to your trip. Share the responsibility. I think the Ponderosa then will be in very good hands."

George turned around and mounted his horse. He hoped that – despite what he just had told his boss - he didn't have to look for another job at another ranch. The foreman took the reins properly and looked down at his boss. But Ben no longer paid any attention to him and so he rode off to the camp.

Ben's eyes were directed into the void. Was this the problem? That he wanted everything to be as it was before he left? Did he have to watch Adam with different eyes? Didn't he trust the work of his son? The decisions he had made and would make in future? Slowly he returned to the house and sat down at the desk. His eyes fell on the documents and books. Why didn't he trust Adam? Except for the bad investment in the land, he had done everything right. He had kept the ranch going and they had made no loss this year. Little by little Ben realized where the real problem was. Life here on the Ponderosa went on. Everything had evolved and changed, but for himself, time had stopped. He couldn't go on as before Marie's death. Last year Adam wasn't the eldest son at the ranch, he was the boss of the Ponderosa, and he had done it well. His foreman was right! He couldn't just come back and treat Adam, as if these nine months never had been.

And then the words of Amarok came to his mind again. That he shouldn't wait for Adam to tell him what his motives were. Ben should pay attention to what the eyes and gestures of his son tell him. And his eyes were disappointed that his father didn't understand him. So there really had to be a reason why this piece of land was so important for Adam. Ben took the contract, and he read it again and again, though he didn't realise. He wondered what Adam had told him. Adam had said Ben would see the land through eyes, which only wanted to see how it could be farmed, but not what it could give him. Ben groaned. Why couldn't his son just say what it was about? Why did he have to sit here and guess? Then his eyes fell on the map, in which the bought territory was located. Ben took it in hand and was surprised that the piece was bigger than he had thought. But at first he still didn't understand what the land made so valuable. In his mind he went through the countryside. The meadows, the creek that led to the small river, forests, ... Ben hesitated. Again he looked at the map and then he realized with an icy shiver, what was so valuable about this land, and why Adam was so disappointed in him. His son had been right. If he had dealt with the land beforehand, he would have noticed it instantly. For the umpteenth time that day Ben exhaled loudly. He leaned back in his chair and covered his face with his hands. Slowly he realized. The problem lay with him. He had to learn to recognize that his son was no longer a kid, and that behind his decisions there was always a reason, which was well considered. Just as it seemed, Adam was not a man who acted rashly. Ben intended to be more patient with Adam and to better listen to him, even to ask questions. But the most important was to realize that Adam now was a young man with his own ideas. If they wanted to work together on the Ponderosa, he had to see him like that. The next talk with Adam, he'd lead differently. So he took the letter from the railway company and tore it up.

XXX

George turned around and saw his boss riding into the camp. He only could shake his head. He had hoped so much that his boss had understood him. "Adam ..." He nudged Adam, who stood before him "... Your father comes."

Adam looked over his shoulder and wasn't surprised because he had already expected him. "You're going on here, George?"

The foreman nodded and Adam went to meet his father. He held the horse's reins and waited until Ben had dismounted. "You got time for a little break, Adam?"

"Yep."

A little hesitant he followed his father to the kitchen wagon. Ben handed his son a cup of coffee and watched the hands at the camp. "How are you getting along?"

"We will be ready so you can start Monday."

"I'm riding straight into the city to check the mail. Do you need anything else?"

"No. We got everything here." Adam sipped, but didn't let his father out of sight. "You're not going to stay here?"

"No. I assume that you get along here and if not, I think you're going to tell me."

They drank the coffee in silence but without taking eyes from each other. "Amarok knows about it?"

Adam eyes widened and he gently put down the cup. "You have looked at the land?"

"I looked at the map. Then I noticed what really belongs to it. I'm so sorry. I was only thinking of a part of the land and not it all."

"Pa, I couldn't have let that happen. I'd have paid any price. The railway company would have driven out the whole tribe."

Ben poured them both another cup of coffee and asked again. "Adam, did you tell it Amarok?"

"No. But I think he knew that the land was to be sold. Does he know that we bought it - no idea - I don't intend to tell him. He doesn't need to be thankful to us."

His father smiled at him. "Not us, but you, Adam. It is your land."

Adam wondered what had happened this morning after the conversation with his father. He seemed so different. "So you won't tell him either?"

"No, I will leave it up to you to do what you want to do."

"Thanks, Pa."

In what Ben intended to talk about now, he'd see how the talks would run better now. "Adam, I have one more request of you…" Now Adam was skeptical. Had peace only deceived? "…Would you please have supper with us this evening?"

"I've actually arranged to meet Koko."

"Then she can still eat with us."

Adam cocked his head and looked at his father. What could be the cause of this change? Adam didn't know, but if his father wanted to be reconciled, he would do so as well. "I just don't know when we're done here, and I can ask her if Amarok allows her to come over."

Ben put down his cup. "Since I'm in town, I might wait until the end of school. I'd ask her, and if she tells Amarok that you and Hoss will bring her home in the evening, he will certainly have no objection."

Adam's eyes narrowed. "Hoss?"

With understanding voice Ben continued. "Adam, do you think I didn't realize that you and Koko do not only talk about horses and fishing?"

Adam tried to sound as neutral as possible. "Pa, Hoss doesn't need to take care of us."

"Adam, I know I can trust you, but remember Koko is only fifteen and there are moments ..." Ben had to smile, "... when you can sometimes lose control. Adam, don't forget I once was your age, too."

A broad grin went over Adam's face. "I don't know if I want to hear about that."

"I had no intention to tell more about it."

He walked around the unfolded table and put an arm around Adam's shoulder. "Adam, I like Koko, very much. I'd be happy for you if your friendship persists, and maybe even more, but you both have plenty of time. Please don't go off half-cocked. If you pass the exam, you want to go next year to Boston. But you can't if you show no patience now. If your friendship really turns into love for one another, it will still exist even after your studies. Then neither I nor Koko's parents will have anything to say about it. I think so, anyway."

Adam put his hands in his pockets and looked across the pasture. "So I'm going to take Hoss with me."

His father shrugged. "Of course you can also take Little Joe."

Adam shook his head. "Hoss will be perfect."

Ben laughed and slapped Adam on the shoulder. "Well, Boss, maybe you should go and see if your hands do everything right."

Adams answer was a smile, then he went back to George.

XXXX

Adam stood in front of the school and watched as the pupils left the building. Koko and his two brothers came toward him. With a mischievous smile he gave Koko a gentle kiss. "What are you doing here, Adam? Aren't you supposed to be branding the calves?"

He put his arm around her and looked at the school building. "Actually yes, but Mr. Conner wanted to see me before the test on Thursday, then I ride home with you and eat lunch with Little Joe and Hoss."

Hoss groaned. "Does that mean we have to wait for you?"

"It doesn't take long, Hoss!"

Hoss kicked off a stone and looked to his brother annoyed. "Well, not here, but if you say goodbye to Koko at the beaver creek. It always takes you forever."

Adam only grinned at his brother. "I'll be right back."

Adam went to the schoolhouse and Little Joe tugged Hoss's sleeve. "Hoss, can we still play with my marbels for awhile?"

"Again? But we've already played the whole break with your marbles."

Koko turned to Hoss. "What's the matter with you today, Hoss? Why are you so grumpy?"

Hoss packed his books and blushed. "Don't know either. Annoys me a bit, when you and Adam are always together. It's not like it used to be. It is different ... now."

She tapped Hoss on the chest. "Come on, Hoss, that's not quite true. We both spend still much time together. Adam's so rarely with me at the moment. Didn't we go fishing together on Monday?"

Hoss looked embarrassed to the ground. "Yes ... but it has nevertheless become different. I find it kinda stupid that you and Adam ... oh, forget it!" Hoss grabbed Little Joe's arm. "Come on, let's play marbles till Adam's back."

Adam hadn't quite reached the school's door, as he was approached from aside. "Well, Cartwright. You're showing up here again?"

Adam looked left. There were Mitch and Buck looking at him challenging. Adam was glad that the two were in their last half year, and his brothers and Koko no longer have to bother with them after summer. Adam laughed maliciously. "And I truly believed, your mind would grow with your body." He snapped his fingers. "How can you just be fooled like that."

With one step Mitch was next to Adam. "Looking for trouble, Cartwright?"

"Not me, but you?" Even Buck stood in front of Adam. "What's going on, Buck? Don't you want to draw your knife? Come on, come on!"

Buck wanted to reach into his pocket, but Mitch grabbed his arm. Buck looked at his friend in surprise, as he never shrank from a fight. He followed the view of Mitch and he knew why he didn't want to mess with Adam today. Mitch's gaze was caught by Adam's holster. "Cartwright, today you have been lucky, but soon we'll have the same conditions." Mitch nudged Buck and both turned away from Adam to go. Then Mitch stopped again and turned back to him. "Cartwright, I heard you want to go away next year." Now he laughed gloatingly at Adam. "Well, you won't have to worry about your sweet girlfriend. I'll take very good care of her."

Mitch grinned when he saw that he could provoke Adam again. Adam was about to set off for Mitch when the school door was opened and Mr. Conner stepped out. "Adam, nice that you're here. Let's go right in to talk about the exam."

Adam looked at Mr. Conner, then with a cool look at Mitch who was still grinning at him. "See you soon, Cartwright. Was really nice to meet you again."

Laughing aloud the two ran off. Mr. Conner put a hand on Adam's shoulder. "Adam, can we?"

Without saying a sound Adam followed Mr. Conner into the classroom, trying to regain his balance, he had apparently lost at the sight of Mitch and Buck.


	26. Chapter 26

Little Joe was sitting up in the hayloft and pouted. "Little Joe, are you here?"

"Nope."

Adam looked up and saw his little brother sitting cross-legged on the floor with his arms crossed. With a slight smirk Adam climbed up the ladder. „So if you're not here, I can sit up here." Little Joe muttered something under his breath that Adam didn't understand and sat away from his brother. "Could it be that you're mad at me?"

Again Little Joe muttered something indistinctly to himself. Adam moved closer to his brother and poked him in the side, but Little Joe slapped his hand away. "Stop it, I don't like that!"

Adam had no idea why his brother was mad with him, but it had to be something serious if he couldn't even be brought out of his shell with tickling. Little Joe had already been so quiet and distant to him this morning, but Adam thought it would be because his little brother was still tired. "I'd like to know what I've done wrong, that you even want to go for lunch."

Little Joe's head spun around and his eyes looked angrily at Adam. "You're stupid!"

Adam laughed. "Alright, then I know that now. That's all? Then we can go inside."

His brother pushed him with both hands, and Adam fell back into the straw. When he straightened up again, he suspected that the problem probably had to be a mite bigger. So he sat down next to his brother again, who had put his arms around his bent legs, his head bowed. Adam put his hand on Little Joe's arms and spoke to him in a soft voice. "Hey, what's up? Come on, tell me."

Little Joe lifted his head. It could be seen that he had been crying. "You're as stupid as Pa."

Adam had to control himself not to laugh again. "And what have we both done that's so bad?"

"You know that perfectly well."

Adam breathed. If they continued at that pace they'd miss supper, too. "Little Joe, I really don't know. You have to tell me more detail."

Little Joe glared angrily at his big brother. "I heard you talking with Pa yesterday."

He said no more, but looked at his brother. Adam closed his eyes briefly. "I was talking a lot with Pa yesterday, you need to tell me what was ... stupid,"

"You know that."

Slowly Adam was getting a little impatient with his brother. "We are going around in a circle, Joe."

Confused Joe looked to the floor first and then to his brother. "But we're sitting ..."

Adam couldn't listen as deeply into himself as if to find the silence that he needed. "Little Joe, please tell me now what you've heard and what has made you so mad."

All of a sudden his little brother yelled at him. "Why do you have to go away? Just like Pa last year. I want you to stay here!"

Now Adam knew, which talk his brother had overheard yesterday. He and his father had talked about the fact that Adam should leave for Boston even before winter, so he would be there in time to find accommodation, and to get to know the city until the semester started. "Joe, I leave to go to school again, and I will come back. It takes a few years, but I promise I'll come back again and I'll write many letters to you and Hoss."

"But you can go to school here!"

Adam shook his head. "No, Joe. Here I can't learn what I still want to know."

Joe sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "You know it all. You needn't learn more."

The big eyes of Little Joe looked at him. "I don't know all by far, Joe."

"I wouldn't go to school voluntarily." Adam knew it would be hard to say goodbye to everyone, but that it had already started he hadn't expected. He nudged his brother again. "We have still another two months till I leave. And we'll do a lot together during this time. Look, we had so much fun together on the cattle drive, and always when you think of this time, you think of me, too."

A small smile returned on Joe's face, as he thought of the summer, and how surprised he and Hoss were, as his father had said, they could join the trail. Even if they hadn't seen Adam and Pa so often, it was a great adventure for them. "Adam ... can you pick me up from school as often as possible till you leave?"

Adam ran his hand through Little Joe's hair. "I will. Promise! And you promise to write one or the other letter to me. All right, little buddy?"

Little Joe wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and hugged him. "Will do, promise."

XXXX

Adam looked at his watch rolling his eyes. He wouldn't make it to loading everything on the carriage before school ended. But since Joe had to ride past Mr. Dorsens' shop, he would surely see Adam. He picked up the next sack and put it on the carriage. "Hello, Adam."

He turned and smiled at Brenda, who stood in front of him. "Hello."

"Won't you pick up your brothers today?"

"Actually, yes. Unfortunately I'm just not ready yet, but they will be riding past Mr. Dorsens' shop."

She took a step closer to Adam. "Hoss told me that you are going to leave already next month."

"Yes. Time passes very quickly now."

She smiled at him. "It's a pity. I thought we could see each other before you leave."

She was now quite close to him. He could smell that she was wearing perfume. Adam grinned. He liked the smell. "Since I'm not leaving till next month, we can certainly see each other."

She continued to smile at him very charmingly. "You know where I live."

He nodded slightly and then, before he could realize it properly, she kissed him. Then she stepped back, looked at him with flashing eyes and grinned mischievously. Amused Adam looked at her. "See you soon, Adam."

Brenda turned and walked down the street. Adam walked a few steps forward, and with a wide grin on his face he watched behind her.

"Adam?"

When he heard the voice, his grin left at once. Adam quickly turned around and just could prevent bumping into a wooden post. "Koko ... uhm ..., already end of school?"

Koko said nothing. She just looked at him. Then she rode on. Hoss, who was with Little Joe behind her, looked at his brother in disbelief. Adam was well aware that they all had noticed what had just happened between Brenda and him. Hoss shook his head and let his horse trot to catch up with Koko. Only Joe stayed with him and didn't really know what this was all about. "Is Koko mad at you?"

Adam sighed. "Yes, I assume."

He looked behind Hoss and Koko again. "Joe, tie up your horse and sit down at the carriage. I'll just get the last things."

XXX

Today was certainly one of the last sunny days of October. It has gotten really warm in the afternoon. Adam knew exactly where to find Koko. He rode down to the creek, and saw her already lying on the grass. He slowly dismounted from Santoro and went down to her. Laying down beside her he took her hand. They both lay there for a while in silence and watched the sky. "I'm sorry, Koko."

She didn't answer him right away and he waited patiently till she was ready to talk to him. "It didn't hurt." Adam didn't know what she meant, but didn't dare to ask her. "Adam, it didn't hurt to see Brenda kissed you. Yes, I'm mad about it, but in my heart I felt nothing."

Adam turned his head to Koko. "Koko, what's that mean to us? I want to be with you, but if something happens like today, then ... " He knew the next words could hurt her, "..., I do not think of you."

Koko continued to look in the sky to think. So did Adam. "The butterflies, Adam."

"Butterflies?"

"Yes, they are missing. I never had butterflies in my tummy when I think about you or when we are together."

He thought about it and about the feelings he really had for Koko. "But what joins us? I want to be with you ..., I feel good with you ..., I like to feel your closeness, but as Brenda kissed me, it was totally different."

"My father said that our souls love each other, but our hearts don't beat in the rhythm of love."

They watched how the clouds moved above them. "Did your father tell you, when one can realize that two hearts have the same rhythm?"

Now she turned her head to him. "He says you have to walk together. Not going ahead, for the heart couldn't follow, but as well not behind, because it can not lead you. Only side by side they are one. Love means to be patient with the other. Not rushing ahead like a young wild horse, but even not waiting like a timid rabbit. And only when the butterflies in your tummy have flown away true love will come to your heart."

Adam looked at her smiling a little. "Did you understand him?"

She laughed, too. "No, and you?"

Laughing, he shook his head. "I think I'll have to think about it for a while."

"You know, Adam, I think maybe it was good what happened today. You're to be gone almost four years or more. During this time, a lot can happen. With you ..., me ... and us. Let's see about us, when you come back."

He turned to her, kissed her and lay on his back and looked up into the clouds. "Koko, what ever will be in future, my heart will always depend on you."

XXXXX

"For goodness' sake, Adam! You don't want to go home yet."

Tom hit him with his hand on his back and Adam almost choked on his beer. "Tom, the stage leaves tomorrow at nine."

"Yes, and we are celebrating your farewell. You can sleep in the stage tomorrow."

Tom looked for confirmation from Rob and Cliff, who sat with them at the table in the saloon and nodded affirmatively. "As far as I'm concerned one more round, but that's it. Otherwise I won't get out of bed tomorrow."

Tom put his glass down a little too vigorously. "Adam, in Boston you really need to break the habit of always being so damn decent. You're there all on your own in the coming years. No Pa telling you what to do or not to do." Tom laughed. "If I were in your shoes, I'd know what I'd do every night." He pointed his finger at Adam and looked at him seriously. "Buddy, promise me that you won't only put your nose in your books, but having fun sometimes, too." Adam grinned and took a sip of beer. "You must promise me, buddy. Come on, now …"

Adam put the glass aside and raised his hand. "Promise."

"All right, and now give me some money to get the next round."

Surprised Adam looked at him. "I thought I am invited today?"

Tom glanced innocently into the round. "Did I say, for how many rounds? So come on. The three of us are broke."

Adam took some coins out of his pocket and gave it to Tom. "And that's a so-called friend."

They drank two more rounds and left the saloon already a bit tipsy. Cliff held Adam's arm as he went to his horse. "Stay Adam! The night's not over yet. We're going to prepare you for Boston."

Adam looked at his friends doubtfully who were grinning at him all three. "By the look of you, I don't think I want to join."

Tom put an arm around his shoulder. "Buddy ... I've no clue what you do with Koko all the time. You're as silent as the grave in this concern. That's why we thought you should know what to expect in the big wide world."

"Tom? What are you up to?"

The three laughed again, took Adam in their midst and went with him to the other side of town. When they went through a narrow street, Buck and Mitch came towards them. Tom groaned, but then he looked at his friends, grinning. "Look who's here. Dumb and Ass."

Mitch and Buck stopped in front of the four. "You have a big mouth, Tom. Ya think because ye are four, we're afraid of ye? "

Adam nudged Tom. "Come, let's go on. I've no desire to waste my last evening with them two."

"What's the matter, Cartwright? Are you scared that you'll get punched on the nose and cannot leave tomorrow?"

Adam paid him a pitying look and drew Tom onwards. Behind, they heard Mitch talking extremely loud with Buck. "Buck, I think I should ride to school tomorrow at noon. Now that Cartwright isn't in town any longer, his girlfriend needs new company, and I'll even show her what a real man is and no such wimp like Cartwright."

Tom noticed immediately how Adam responded to Mitch's provocation and wanted to hold him back, but Adam quickly pulled his arm away and approached Mitch. "You know, Mitch, I think we both should clarify something before I leave."

Adam took off his holster and handed it to Cliff. Mitch grinned dishonestly, but he didn't take off his gun belt. "Oh, Cartwright, you really know how long I've waited for this moment?"

Mitch lunged forward, Adam stepped aside and Mitch stumbled past him. Adam's friends couldn't stop laughing. Mitch turned around and looked at Adam angrily. Adam, however, hadn't paid attention to Buck, who was standing right behind him. With full force, he threw himself in Adam's back so that the latter stumbled toward Mitch. He caught Adam's fall down with one hand and gave him a blow with the other one. Before Adam could start over, he caught two strong punches in the face from Mitch. But then Adam managed to ward off the next blow, and beat Mitch repeatedly in the belly. Then he walked a few steps back. He waited to see what would be Mitch's next moves. When he came back to air, he tried to go for Adam again. Just before he could strike, Adam took Mitch's arm, turned it on his back and pushed him against the wall. Before Mitch realized at all what had happened, Adam had pulled Mitch's gun from the holster with one smooth motion and held it at his head. Instantly Tom was at his side. "Adam, stop the crap. He's got enough."

"You keep out of this, Tom."

Then Adam held his head very close to Mitch's ear. "Listen to me well, you filthy rat. Should I ever notice that you get too close to Koko, I'll blow your brains out with your own gun. Got it, Mitch?" Since Mitch didn't reply, Adam squeezed his arm further upward until Mitch cried out in pain. "I ask you again, you got it?"

"Yes, I do."

Adam threw the gun into the corner and let Mitch go. He turned instantly and held his arm with a pained face. Adam nodded to his friends, and they were on their way to leave the narrow alley, as Mitch still yelled after him. "Cartwright, one day I'll kill you! I swear to you. I'll kill you!"

Adam didn't turn around and didn't pay any attention to Mitch's threat. At the next crossing, the four friends stopped and Cliff gave Adam his holster back. "Adam, never ever scare me this much. I thought you really wanted to shoot him down."

"Don't you worry Tom, for Mitch each bullet would be a waste."

Adam put his hands on his hips, grinning at his friends. "So what do we do now?"

"I think you're tired, buddy?"

"Not any more!"

Tom hit him on the back, beaming. "Well, so come with me!"

Adam followed his friends until they stood in front of the house of Madame Baffour. Adam only shook his head. "You're crazy! Not only that they surely won't let us in, we have no money, too."

Now Rob grinned triumphant. "Who needs money? We won't go in. Come along."

The four walked around the house until they reached a small side entrance. Adam crossed his arms. "Rob, without offending you, that didn't solve the money problem."

Rob pointed to a small window that was located slightly higher near the door. "Who says we go in. The window up there, is the window to the room where the nice ladies get changed."

Rob and the others looked at Adam with a broad grin. He looked very slowly down his arms. "You're not serious? We shall climb up there and peek through the window?"

Tom turned to Adam. "Not us. You! You need the lesson."

"Forget it!" "Buddy, you promised me to have fun, so you can already start today."

"Tom, it's silly!"

"No, it's not. I'll show you."

Tom jumped on a crate and pulled himself up at the handrail, to peek through the window. "Tom ..."

Adam couldn't believe what his friend was doing right now.

"Would you mind telling me what you're up to?"

Adam whirled. In front of him stood a young woman, obviously working in the house of Madame Baffour. Then Adam looked around. There was nothing left to see of Rob and Cliff. Tom let go of the handrail and jumped down to stand next to Adam, who looked at him speechless. "We're only celebrating a farewell." Tom slapped Adam at the chest. "My friend here is leaving town for the next few years, and because he's so shy, we thought we would prepare him for what awaits him out there."

Adam looked at his friend in disbelief and in fact wanted to leave the place just as quickly as possible. But Tom grabbed his arm. "And why don't you take the main entrance?"

Adam's friend scratched his head embarrassed. "We've got no money."

"Oh. This is of course a good reason."

She looked at Adam, who was trying to get a smile on his face. "Where do we want to go?"

Adam really had no idea why he told her. "To Boston."

"Boston is beautiful. I have been there. Are you going alone?"

"Yes." She looked him up and down. "You don't live here in town, right?"

"No, I live on a ranch outside."

She took his hand and looked at it, in order to then examine him closely again. "Yes, it shows that you work hard. How old are you?"

Before Adam could answer, Tom interjected. "We're twenty."

Adam cocked his head and looked at him with a smile. The woman still held Adam's hand. "You know what? I think your friend is right."

She went to the door and pulled Adam with her. Tom tried to follow her, but she held him back. "Not you, my young friend. HE's getting the parting gift."

Tom put his hands on his hips and watched as the door closed behind Adam.

XXXX

The sun was just rising when Adam reached the Ponderosa. He knew he had to hurry if he still wanted to change clothes and have a snack. He quietly opened the door, but his father and his brothers were already awake and stood in the living room. "Good morning, Adam. I just thought, you don't want to get home before your departure."

Adam could clearly see that his father wasn't amused about the fact that he came home but in the morning. "I'm sorry, Pa. Uhm, ... I was ... at ... Tom's."

"Morning, Adam." Adam looked aside. There stood Tom, leaning against the wall and grinning at him cheekily. "Took you quite a long time ..." Adam gave him a withering look, "... for our race. I think when you come back, you need a new horse."

"But I've seen a lot of the beautiful landscape and learned a lot."

They were grinning both with a knowing look. His father stood in front of him. "When I look at you, I'm not sure whether I should let you really go or not. Did you rush into a fight in town yesterday?"

"Pa, this was just a misunderstanding. It's already done."

Ben shook his head. "Then go now and get changed. And hurry, it's already late."

Adam walked up the stairs to his room. After freshening up and changing clothes, he put the last things in his bag. He quickly took another book from his desk, when his look fell at the little diary of his father. So far he hadn't read it. Without a second thought, he threw it into the bag. Then he looked around his room. Only in four to five years he'd see it again. With a laughing and a crying eye, he closed the door behind him.


	27. Chapter 27

He closed the door and looked around. Adam actually knew that it was crazy, what he had done. But when he saw it, he couldn't help. It was a very late arrival in Boston, because he had left some of his travel time on the road as he had been staying longer at many places. So there were only a few days left till the semester would start and most rooms had been already occupied. Sure, right in the center of the city he could have gotten some accommodation. But when he had left the station, he first had to swallow. That Boston wasn't Virginia City, had been clear to him. But this mass of people, and this loudness he hadn't expected at all.

First Adam went in the direction of the University, to look for a room, but of course he wasn't successful. So he went back on the way to the center. At a crossroad a streetsign was pointing to the harbor. Without a second thought, he changed his target.

It was late June and very warm. A gentle breeze touched his face when he arrived at the port area. Adam put the bag down and closed his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and could smell the salty sea. Again, it was louder than he was used to, but no comparison to how noisy it was only a few blocks away. Having just taken in a few minutes of the sun and the noise of the harbor, he picked up his bag and walked on. Although he was quite done from the trip, he wanted to take the opportunity to look at the house where he was born. He was somewhat sad that his grandfather had died about a year ago, and he thus couldn't meet him. He had sold the house shortly before his death. His father had been slightly annoyed when he heard about it, because he would have liked to keep it.

It wasn't hard for Adam to find it because it was directly on the harbor street. So he stopped right in front. In his thoughts were all those little stories that his father had told him of his time in Boston. It wasn't easy to imagine that his Pa and his Mom had lived in this house and had gone along this street as he had just done. For the first time since he left the Ponderosa, the memories of his father hurt. Maybe it hasn't been such a good idea to come here.

"Did you rent the house?"

Adam startled from his thoughts and looked at the woman who had addressed him. She stood in front of the house next door and swept the way in front of her door. "Excuse me, ma'am. What did you say?"

The elderly lady stopped to sweep and smirked. "I didn't mean to scare you, young man. But you've looked at the house in a way, I thought you had rented it and don't dare to go in because of all the stories that have been told."

Adam looked at her confused. "What stories?"

She now came closer to Adam and spoke very softly. "I knew that old Jameson didn't tell you anything about it. It's the reason why he can't rent the house for months." Before she went on, she looked left and right, checking if someone could hear them. "Of course, I personally don't believe it, but you know how people are. Over a year ago old Abel Stoddard died here. His housekeeper sold the house before his death without his knowledge. He's said to have taken it so badly that he said on his deathbed that never ever another should live in his house. And everyone trying it would be chased out of the house by him personally. And whether you believe it or not. To this day no one has endured here more than one month."

Adam grinned. This story would fit exactly to his grandfather. Because according to the description of his father he had been very stubborn and opinionated. If he hadn't liked something, he had expressed it very clearly. "No, ma'am, I haven't rented it. But if you kindly tell me where I can find this Mr. Jameson, I would gladly do so."

She looked at him with shocked look. "You are sure?"

"Yes." She raised her finger. "But don't tell me later I didn't warn you."

He smiled at her. "Ma'am, believe me, good old Abel won't harm me in any way."

She shook her head. "That's what they all said, and then they ran away screaming. But whatever you like. Mr. Jameson has the little store at the corner. Over there. He should be in his shop by now."

Adam thanked her and was about to go to the little shop, as the older lady approached him again. "Tell me young man, do I know you from somewhere? You look so familiar."

Again he smiled politely. "Not me, but I think you might have met someone in my family. But since I'm going to live here the next few years, we will certainly talk about it some time."

Then he turned around and left a pretty perplexed elderly woman behind. As to be expected, Mr. Jameson was immediately willing to rent the house to Adam. Although he hesitated briefly at the name, he didn't assign him apparently. So Adam stood in the house where he was born. His money for rent would be sufficient only for a few months. So he had to get a job while studying at all events. But before he could think about studying, working, or going to bed, he had to bring the house back on track. Adam rolled up his sleeves and got down to work.

XX

Adam had made coffee and sat down in front the fireplace. He still had time before his friend Frederic would drop in. So he intended to read Koko's letter, which had arrived today. He was already here for five months and it felt almost like home. Settling in at the university hadn't been difficult for him. That he hadn't constantly got lost in the beginning, was thanks to Frederic. Both were enrolled in the same classes and had quickly realized that they thought the same in many ways. Frederic reminded him a little of Tom. A very nice guy, but as his friend in Nevada, always good for a crazy idea. Adam had been lucky in two respects. Not only that he had found a good friend, but also that Frederic's father owned an architectural office in Boston. So Adam had quickly found a job alongside his studies. Frederic's father hadn't taken long to realize what a talent Adam had. Unfortunately, he told Frederic every now and then how impressed he was by Adam and how disappointed by his own son that he didn't contribute this much into the company. But fortunately this didn't affect the friendship between the two students.

Adam was about to open the letter when it rumbled on the upper floor of the house. He wasn't frightened any longer like in the early days when it creaked and blustered in the house. "ABEL ... stay calm now. I want to read a letter from my friend. I've got no time for you."

Since he didn't believe in ghosts, it must certainly be another cause. But until now he hadn't seriously bothered. Adam only had accustomed admonishing his "grandfather" that he shouldn't make so much noise. But Adam couldn't properly deny that it was a bit scary. The noise was one thing. The other thing was that it could happened now and then that the furniture has moved or the dishes in the kitchen had changed their place when he got home. But he wouldn't move out because of that.

Adam wondered when he'd get a letter from his father, and what he'd think about the fact that he lived in this house now. It rumbled again above him. "ABEL ... SHOULD I COME UP AGAIN?"

Adam quickly had noticed when he threatened like that the rumbling stopped. If he was lucky, he'd now be left in peace. After ten minutes he was sure that Abel had gone to sleep, and he could read the letter in peace. He took another sip of coffee and opened the envelope.

 _My dear Adam,_

 _I was so happy to finally have an address to which I can write now. It was so hard, to read your letters of the trip without being able to answer you. You have described the places where you've been so beautifully that I got the feeling I was there with you. When I miss you, I take one of the letters and read it again to be close to you. But not only I am missing you. I think my father misses the conversations with you. He wanted me to write you the following._

 _People these days don't seek wisdom, but knowledge. Knowledge belongs to the past, wisdom to the future._

 _I think he fears that you might have forgotten everything, when you come back, and you want to put into practice here, what you've learned in Boston. He wasn't pleased when he heard what you are studying. But it's not the same with me. You love this land too much to ruin it. I cannot imagine that you start to see nature in a different way and with a different heart. I can quite see, as you probably just shake your head, because my father's so worried. Especially my father should know that for you, the fate of the land or the people is worth more than any progress. You two never talked about it, but you've made sure that our tribe hadn't to leave this land. Believe me, now you have a place in the heart of the Gosiute that no white man has never achieved before. In their eyes, you are the true Chaska of Amarok._

Adam looked into the fire and smiled. If his father might hear this, he would surely be jealous of Amarok again. The Gosiute address their firstborn son Chaska. So Amarok had learned after all that he had bought the land. But even if Adam knew it now, he would never raise the issue on its own. They needed no words. The friendship that bound him to Koko and her entire family, was the most important thing for Adam. He looked back on the lines and continued reading.

 _Even your brothers miss you. It took Hoss weeks to talk about you again without getting completely depressed. And Adam, one thing was totally unnecessary – to tell him to take care of me. He takes it very seriously and asks me several times a day, if I feel good, and whether he could do something for me. Please tell him that he shouldn't do this through the years to come._

 _Little Joe is now convinced that he's calling the shots at home and at school. I think in the past month there were only three times he hadn't to stay in school longer. Your father's going to get white hair._

 _I'm sitting here at my table in my room and my eyes fell on your birthday gift, which Hoss gave me. If I could, I would hug you for this. Thanks for your beautiful lines and the poem that you have written and especially for my own Moqui Marble. Of course, on my birthday I went outside in the evening at eight, having it in my hand and looking at the stars. This year I'll do it again, so that we can celebrate my birthday together._

Adam looked up on the mantelpiece. There was his Moqui Marble. Aponi had told him that these stones are always given away in pairs to protect the owner from all evil, guard against false friends, strengthen the soul and impart willpower, assertiveness and emotional stability. One was a gift for Koko, the other one he kept. Once he had promised never to miss her birthday. For the coming years on this day they would look to the stars at the same time, with the stone in hand, so he could keep his promise. In two days, it was time again. Then they would be close again.

His eyes went back to the letter.

 _Adam, I could write so much more, but then you wouldn't have enough time to learn, and I would be to blame, if you had to stay longer in Boston. I'm looking forward to your next letter._

 _Pilamayaye wakan tanka nici un ake u wo ahoe!_

 _Yours, Koko_

Adam put the letter on his lap. Quietly, he repeated the words in his own language. "For you, too, Koko. Goodbye and may the Great Spirit be with you and guide you."

He laid his head back, closed his eyes and thought of her. Then he admitted the silence to spread in him. His head jerked up when someone knocked on the door and it flew open. Frederic stood in the room and looked at him in amazement. "Did you take a nap, Adam? Get up, we still have a date in the city."

Adam looked at his friend and then at the letter on his lap and smiled. "I didn't sleep. I read a letter."

Frederic was slamming the door behind him. "Your father?"

"No, a very special person."

His friend came closer. "Oh la la ... let me guess. It's of female hand? "

Adam stood up and put the letter on the fireplace next to his stone. "Yes, it is."

His friend clicked his tongue. "You never told me that you have a girlfriend in Nevada. I always thought you were unattached the way you're flirting here with the girls."

Meanwhile Adam had taken his jacket and put it on. "I do not flirt, you're doing this enough. But I think we both have plenty of time, so I can tell you about Koko."

Adam held the door open. "Koko? Well, this may be an interesting evening indeed."

Before Adam closed the door, he called into the house, "Good night, Abel! And please don't move the furniture."


	28. Chapter 28

The first snow fell and it was cold. But it wasn't nearly as cold as he remembered it to be in Nevada. Adam walked through the streets of Boston and was taking in the whole Christmas theme. In this case two hearts hit in his chest. Actually Christmas for him was a celebration of peace and contemplation with nice conversations by the fireplace. But he was also fascinated of the hustle and bustle which prevailed here in the streets. People ran frantically from one shop to another. The fresh snow hadn't quite touched the ground, as the White already turned into a light gray. At almost every corner were people who played music, hoping to catch a few pennies.

Christmas ... It was the second Christmas without his family for him. He had spent the last Christmas in a small post office in the middle of nowhere, but it had been very nice quiet days, and he had enjoyed the silence and solitude. He didn't know exactly how to celebrate the feast this year. But he could imagine sitting by the fireplace, reading a good book and just enjoy the peace and quiet. In the afternoon he would take a long walk in the park or explore the surrounding area of Boston with a long ride.That was also one of the habits that he had been missing here in Boston. The time he could spend on horseback. All he had to do here, he did on foot. When he got back home, it would probably take him weeks to get used to the saddle again. He was now in the center of the city and watched the bustle of the people. Although it was just before Christmas, hardly one of them had a smile on their faces. What a difference to Virginia City!

Adam wanted to go again to the office of Frederic's father to get the final work done that needed to be done this year in his eyes. Then he would return home avoiding the main streets and taking the longer way through the narrow streets. It was shortly after noon, and the office was staffed with only a handful of people. Adam sat down with the documents and drawings in a spare room and was lost in the job in no time. Two hours later, Frederic entered the office, leaning on the doorframe, watching him. "You know, Adam, I think I might still be standing here another ten minutes, and you wouldn't even notice."

Adam talked to him without lifting his head. "I have already noticed you when you came through the door, but since you said nothing, I've assumed that you need this moment of silence in order to gain insight of it."

Frederic pushed away from the door frame, sat down on the edge of the desk and took some documents which lay there. "You have to remember that I don't understand one word when you talk to me like that."

"Yes, but I don't give up hope that you still want to try some of it for your personal use."

His friend put the documents back onto the table. "Adam, what the hell are you doing here? We have free time until January and my father doesn't expect you still to work this year for sure."

Adam leaned back and looked at his friend. "I know that, but we want to start in January with his new project. Until then, all offers and drawings should be done. If we only begin to deal with the different companies, the work cannot start before March."

The eyes of Frederic began to shine, and he grinned at Adam. "Ahhh ... now I got you ..."

"You got me?"

"Hey, you're contradictory. On the one hand you tell me you can't work solely because then you won't get wise or something like that, but on the other hand you tell me straight, you have to work right now to get ready, although no one would expect it of you."

"It is said that people who only work, have no time to dream. Only those who dream come to wisdom, and I take the time to dream, believe me." He looked at his friend seriously. "Frederic, you wonder constantly why you have such problems with your father. If you'd start to lead YOUR life instead of only resting on your father's work, you'd better understand each other. And, forgive me what I tell you now, but the three worst evils are stupidity, laziness and cowardice. Currently, you're just lazy and too cowardly to grow up. But if something doesn't change in your mind finally stupidity will join in."

Frederic got up, and it was plain to see that he was pissed off. "Have you eaten something bad today or where does this mood come from?"

"I had a very fine breakfast." Adam leaned forward, and although his expression was serious, his voice sounded friendly. "Frederic, till this very day you still haven't learned what it means to work. As you told me, you have led a fairly good life in France, and here in Boston things happened to turn out even better. When I see how many people are employed at your home, so that you can lead a good life, I really wonder if you've seen at all what we need to do at least to lead such a life. Did you ever had to wait long for one of your wishes to come true or even to work for it? I don't think so, but now you're in an age where you should decide yourself if you just want to be the spoiled son of your father for the rest of your life, or finally want to stand on your own feet." Frederic looked at him with big eyes. "I like you, Frederic, and I like to spend time with you, but you cannot just have fun. You're just in the university, because your father wants it, not because you like to go there. What will you do if the company doesn't make any more profit, and your father's got no money? Or if he throws you out, and you have to cope alone?"

The mood of Adam's friend hadn't improved much. "On the one hand, my dear Adam, my father will never throw me out, and on the other I get along well all on my own."

Adam's face turned into a grin. "Then prove it to your father and me."

"I haven't to prove anything to you."

"You're right. Pardon me, it's your way, but I would like to accompany you on this, because you're a darn nice guy."

"And you're arrogant and a killjoy, and I've no clue why I like to spend my time with you."

"Because otherwise you wouldn't get to know so many girls."

Frederic's bad mood was gone. Actually Adam had told him nothing new, but until now nobody said it straight to his face. He had always planned to make changes, but life just as he had led so far, had been so easy. He always had money in his pocket and hadn't to think about whether he could pay his rent or not, like Adam had to. He sat down on the chair opposite of Adam. "And what do I do now that I'm growing up? Move to Nevada and work on your ranch?"

Adam laughed. "Do not be angry, but that I can't expect of my father neither of our cattle. First, you can help me here today." Adam pushed a sheaf of papers over the table. "Look at the offers of the companies and pick what would suit us best."

"What's difficult about it? I suppose what costs the least to us and the customer."

"I thought you wanted to learn how to work?"

Frederic rolled his eyes. "Alright! What should I do?"

"I told you to see what works best for your father's company. Look at the companies. Where do they get their workers from? Do they already have workers? What projects they have been working on? Does the offer also include everything we expect? Shall I go on?"

Frederic raised his hands. "I understand. It is connected to work." His friend took the offers and put them separately on the table. After some time he raised his head. "Adam, you said first ... What more do you have planned for me?"

"You're going to move into my house in January. There is no staff. You've to cope with everything on your own. There's no one to prepare your food or make your bed. The fire in the room is lit by you. If you don't, it stays cold, and I certainly won't do anything for you. We'll share the tasks, and you'll pay rent to me which you have to earn in the company here."

Doubtfully his friend looked at him. "You're almost worse than my father."

"No, Frederic ... I am worse!"

"I shall move to you and Abel into your house?"

"Are you scared?"

"Well, it's weird already, isn't it?"

Adam laughed again. "Don't you worry. I'll take care of it. Abel will only bother you if you fail to comply your duties."

Frederic grimaced. "Well, it seems to have become a great New Year."

Adam's eyes twinkled with amusement. "You forget the advantages that you'll have then."

"I don't see any advantages. Only drawbacks. Not to mention Abel, who will visit me at night."

"Frederic ... there's no one left to notice when we come home at night. No one who controls how long we have visitors. When we get up in the morning ... Shall I continue?"

Now Frederic leaned forward. "Adam, you want to make it tempting to me. As if you were hosting wild parties at home or you ... take home visitors!"

"You learn from me and I learn from you."

A broad grin went across Frederic's face. "Well then, let's do our work, and tonight you'll get your first real lesson in the city from me."

Frederic got up and reached for Adam's hand. With a smile, Adam stood up and took the hand offered.

XXX

As he had planned, Adam had spent the Christmas holidays at home and with long walks. Two more letters had arrived. One of his father and one of Little Joe. His brother hadn't written much. Only that he was fine and he still didn't like school and he'd never go to Boston like him. He had painted a picture of the Ponderosa. Well, Adam assumed at least that it should be the Ponderosa. In front of the house he had painted three figures and among them written "Hoss", "Pa" and "I". Adam loved it at first sight, because he knew that his brother really didn't like to paint. Thus, the image for both was special.

He had read his father's letter with a cup of coffee by the fireplace like Koko's letter. Ben was absolutely thrilled that he lived in Abel's house. He definitely ought to try to redeem it from Mr. Jameson. His father was glad that he was getting along so well in Boston and quickly made friends. Then he told him that there had been some problems during the cattle drive this year. The weather had been so bad that they had lost a quarter of the herd. Ben was glad that Hoss and Little Joe hadn't joined the cattle drive. Adam could well imagine how the trail had gone, and that the men hardly had come out of the saddle. Thinking that he would join a cattle drive again in three or four years, this would certainly be hell for him. He would certainly have to get used again to the hard work on the ranch. In order not to transform entirely into a city people, he had entered the rowing club of the University with Frederic. But the training there wasn't to be compared with what he had to do on the Ponderosa.

Apart from that his father wrote how they had spent their first Christmas without him, and he was very sad that Adam had to spend his eighteenth birthday alone on the journey. Adam smiled when he thought of his birthday. He had spent it in Harrisburg. And he wasn't alone at all.

Adam looked at the clock on the wall. He had to hurry now. Frederic and he wanted to welcome the New Year together. His friend knew, of course, where they could celebrate the best on this evening. Adam just took his jacket, as it rumbled in his room upstairs. "Oh, Abel, are you still here? I thought you had left me, because I surely haven't heard you for more than a week." It rumbled again and this time a little louder. "Ah, you mean, you want to catch up on everything now? Well then go. But please don't break anything. I wasn't quite amused that you broke my teapot. From Monday on you have to behave. Then Frederic will move in here. Please be nice to him. He's my friend." Rumbling again. „That wasn't quite an apology. Thus, Abel. I've to go now. Till tomorrow morning." He left the house and closed the door behind him.

It took Adam a good half an hour to get to Frederic's house. He was here for the fourth time and again amazed about how big it was. Every time he asked himself what four people needed such a house for. Without problems half of the tribe of Koko's grandfather could live here. Instantly the words of Amarok occured to him.

'The most important question in the life of an Indian is, how happy he is. For an Indian success doesn't depend on how much he earns, or what social position he occupies, but only of how happy he is.'

Was Frederic's family happy here? He would be definitely not. So well he felt here in Boston, Nevada would always be his home. Adam pulled the door knocker and waited. After a short time the door has been opened by one of the staff. "Good evening. Mr. Frederic Francois awaits me."

"Who I shall say is calling, Sir?"

"Cartwright. Adam Cartwright."

Adam was led into the house and stood in a large hall. "Please wait, Sir."

Adam didn't have to wait for long, as his friend already came running down the stairs. "Adam, you're ready for the night of nights?"

Adam could only laugh. For Frederic every evening they spent together, was the night of nights. While Adam waited for Frederic to put on his jacket, his gaze fell into a room that departed from the lobby. "Come on, Adam, I'm ready." When his friend didn't react, he followed Adam's gaze. "Oh no, my friend! Just get it out of your head! This is my sister. She's taboo for you. So hands off! If you already think I'm weird, then you'll call her crazy." He grabbed Adam by the arm and pulled him toward the door. "What's more ,Josephine is waiting for you."

Still his eyes directed towards the room Adam followed his friend. "Josephine?"

"Hello, Adam, ... Josephine. The girl from last week."

Frederic shook his head. "Now, come on. Let's go. And Adam, I'm sure that 1849 will be our year."

He slammed the door and both made their way to the city.


	29. Chapter 29

A loud crash shook him roughly awake. Eyes wide, he stared at the ceiling. That was the fifth time in a row that he has been aroused in such a way in the morning. Although his heart was no longer beating as fast as the first time, he was still scared stiff. He waited a few minutes, then he put the blanket aside and swung himself out of bed. On the way out of the room Frederic put on his dressing gown, opened Adam's bedroom door with a jerk - and looked into an empty room. Of course, how could he think that his friend would still be in bed at this time.

Frederic had been living for more than a month in Adam's house and he had gotten used to almost everything, but not to Abel. He slammed the door and ran downstairs. With arms crossed he stood in the door frame to the kitchen. "Adam, we need to talk."

Quietly Adam got the coffee ready. "Good morning, Frederic. Did you sleep well?"

"No, I didn't."

"Oh ... I'm sorry. Then it's good that you woke up so early. Then you won't go to bed so late tonight and have a deeper sleep."

Adam's friend glanced at the clock. A few minutes to half past six. "Can you tell me why you always have to get up so early? We needn't be at school before nine today!"

With no better mood he took a cup of coffee from Adam. "Because I want it that way."

Frederic took a sip. "But I don't ... Can you please tell your Grandpa that he should leave it to wake me this early every morning? My hair standing on end several times a day takes a little getting used to. But what's going on here the last few days, is going way too far."

"Do you want to have breakfast with me today?"

He glared angrily at Adam. He'd never understand, how his friend could always stay so calm. "I want to talk to you about Abel."

Adam put his cup on the kitchen table. "We can do afterwards at breakfast." Frederic grumbled at his friend. "Fine. I assume that means that you agree with me. I'm going to take my morning walk. In the meantime you can get dressed and set the table. The coffee is ready, as you have noticed."

Adam went to the wardrobe, took his jacket and left the house. Frederic tried to calm down. He knew that if he was still angry later, Adam wouldn't speak a word with him. Oh no, that wasn't true! He would again talk of any storms and the search for silence. Why did his best friend just have to be a lunatic? He looked at the ceiling. "Abel, I'll get dressed now and prepare breakfast, and meanwhile I don't want to be disturbed and if you don't stick to it, I'll wring your neck when I'm with you one day."

He put the cup away and went upstairs.

XXXXX

Adam walked along the harbor. He liked to start the morning with a walk there. Here he found at least a little peace, he needed to keep his inner balance.

After less than a year he was lacking this loneliness which he had no problems finding in Nevada. He walked up to a small hill and looked down at the harbor. The wind blew in his face. The seagulls screeched and flew around the first fishing boats that headed back to the harbor. Adam took a deep breath, but the stillness deep within he wouldn't reach today. Anyway, in spring at the latest he had to find a place where he could indulge in silence again. Now he understood Amarok's words, as he had once asked him why he was so rarely in Virginia City. He then had told him that the sight of the town ached in his eyes. How would Koko's father feel, if he was in a city like Boston? Even Adam realized that he found himself more often thinking with his brain than his heart. In no case he wanted to forget what had accompanied him during the last ten years. Adam had recognized his problem, and he would find a solution. He took a deep breath and went back home.

XXX

The two friends sat at the table and had breakfast. Adam looked at Frederic and was very pleased that he had not been mistaken in him. He had already noticed quite early, that Frederic was good at heart and it had taken him only a kick in the butt. As expected, it was not long until he had accustomed to the rules that had Adam established. Added to this was that Frederic no longer spent most of his time in the city every night. Adam was sure if his friend continued this way, the chances were good that he could make the graduating from the University.

"Adam ... did we have silence long enough, so that we can talk about Abel?"

With a slight smirk Adam put down his cup. "Could it be that you're just making fun of me?"

"Just a little, my friend. Just a little."

"Believe me, one day you'll understand me, too. Well, what should I tell Abel?"

Frederic slammed his hand on the table. "Adam, stop it, please, or do you really think that your grandfather haunts around here?"

"The soul of a dead man can be found everywhere. Only the body passes and ..."

" ADAM! ..."

Adam couldn't help looking at his friend amused. "Of course my grandfather doesn't haunt the house, and I also have a guess what might be behind it. I just hadn't seen the need to take care of it. I admit, I liked the idea that my mother's father lives here with me. So I always had someone with whom I could talk."

"But now I am here! And you can talk to me. I'm asking you to ensure that Abel moves out."

"If you want it this much, I'll do it, but my friend ..." He pointed his finger at him. "... if I won't get you out of bed in the morning, he will come back."

Frederic pointed with a knife at Adam. "I've got no clue why I really endure this."

"Frederic ... I wonder, too."

With a smile they continued their breakfast.

XXX

She looked at the clock and wondered who wanted to visit her in the afternoon at this time. Since Abel's death she hardly had contact with anyone. So she got up from her chair, hoping that it wouldn't take long, because she wanted to enjoy her tea hot. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see him. He lived for so many months next to her and still hadn't visited her. Let alone, exchanged a word with her since last summer. "How do you do, Mrs. Hofman. I'd like to talk to you about Abel."

Mrs. Hofman's eyes widened. But quickly she caught herself. 'He can't know it.' "What would you like to know, young man?"

"Shouldn't we better discuss it inside?"

She was torn back and forth if she should let him into the house or not. "Come in, but I don't have much time. I'm getting visitors soon." Of course that was a lie, but she wanted to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Adam entered the house and waited politely until she led him into the living room. "And young man, what am I supposed to tell you about Abel?"

"Mrs. Hofman, as it looks like we both have a special relationship to Abel, but I think it is time now that Abel finds his eternal peace."

Mrs. Hofman was getting nervous. How did he know? "So …. I ... uh ... I .. I do not know, what do you mean?"

Adam smiled at her. "Why don't you want someone to live in the house?"

The old lady dropped into her chair. He had been so persistent. For as long as he had, no one endured, until now. She looked up at him. "Because he didn't want that. He wanted to keep the house for his family. His grandson wants to study here one day. He wanted to live there with him, but when it was clear that he was going to die, it was his wish that at least his grandson should live here. Then, however, that bitch of Mrs. Randolf told him ..." Her face was all red with anger. "... that she had just sold the house. She had forged his signature, and he had no strength left to leave the bed to do something about it." She paused briefly. "Only one week later he died." She paused again. "She said that she needed the money for his care and to keep the house in order. That was such a lie. She had used the money for herself, to have some nice twilight years." She leaned forward and laughed sardonically. "But it was brought to justice. Not two months after Abel's death she came out of the theater and was run over by a carriage. They say she died on the street."

Adam was shocked that his grandfather had to spend his last days with such a devious woman like Mrs. Randolf. "But Mrs. Hofman, what do you hope to gain driving all out of the house? The only thing you would achieve would be that no one wants to live there any longer. It would fall into disrepair and one day would be torn down. I guess that hadn't been in Abel's mind."

Mrs. Hofman got up and got a cup for Adam, poured tea and gave it to him. "I won't give up until one day someone of his family will show up here. You won't believe how much I'm annoyed about myself sometimes. Abel and I have talked about so many things, but never where his son in law had settled. He always talked of "the ranch". Of course it may be that he had mentioned it to me in the start, but I can't recall anymore. Abel has always told me, when a letter from his family arrived. I know all the names of his grandsons. I know almost everything what has happened in the years since Ben left Boston, but never again we talked about the name of this ranch. Never…"

Adam could see how much she was annoyed. "But you do have a key to the house. Why didn't you go over and have looked for one of the letters after he died? Then you would have had the address."

She winced. Even this he knew? "Oh, believe me young man, I've tried, but I couldn't look as fast as this witch had emptied the house."

Adam took a sip of tea. He could well imagine that his grandfather and Mrs. Hofman had well understood each other. The way it looked, his neighbor had a good measure of common sense. "You and Abel were good friends?"

She looked in her teacup and her features relaxed. "We were. My husband and he sailed to sea together for a while until Abel got his own ship. I have suffered with him, when his wife died. I was there for him when his daughter died, and I took care of him as his son in law and his grandson have made their way to the West." Taking a deep breath she got quiet and sad. "But I couldn't help him when he fell sick. He didn't allow that. He could be so stubborn. Abel preferred to take this witch into the house and I couldn't make his last wish come true." She smiled at him somewhat forced. "I was so desperate not knowing where his son in law lived, that I have just sent a letter with the name of Ben Cartwright, somewhere in the West."

"Mrs. Hofman, you know what you have achieved by making Abel haunt the house?" She shook her head. "That Mr. Jameson was ready to sell the house to me right away when I asked."

All colour drained from her face, and he got the feeling that she slumped deeper into the chair, as if she had lost all strength. "Then it was all in vain. You've endured for so long in this house. You won't sell it again."

"That's right. I've no intention to sell it in the near future." He put his cup on the table. "Would you mind telling me how you let Abel ply his dreadful trade in the house?"

Shrugging she looked at him with sad eyes. „Well, I don't mind any longer. The rumbling and crashing wasn't difficult. Because our houses are close together, I only needed to beat fiercely against the walls. With a little luck the blow was so strong that in one of the cupboards something fell down, and since I have a key, the rearrangement of the furniture and the dishes in the kitchen was no problem for me." She made a move to get up from the chair. "I'm going to give you the key."

He pushed his cup back. "You don't need to. I think with you it's in good hands. I need someone who keeps an eye on when I'm not home. I'd rather have a cup of tea, and I need to apologize to you for my rudeness. We've lived so long next door and I had failed repeatedly to introduce myself. I should rectify this. My name is Adam Cartwright and I'd hope that you tell me more about my grandfather."

It took a while before she realized what he had just told her, then she smiled. Both sat in her living room until late in the evening and talked about Abel.

XXXXX

It was Sunday and Frederic and Adam were invited to Frederic's parents at home for lunch. First, Adam had rejected the invitation with thanks. It was the first weekend of March and it was obvious that spring was approaching. Actually he wanted to rent a horse and look for a place of peace, where he could retire. But Frederic had persuaded him that he didn't want to spend the afternoon alone, and that it was even a special request of his father, that Adam would come for lunch, so he had given way in the end. Thus they reached the house of Frederic's parents an hour before lunch.

They just took off their jackets, as his friend was told his father wanted to see him in the library. Right away Frederic rolled his eyes. Although the relationship between him and his father had improved since he lived with Adam, it still kept coming to arguements between the two. "I have no idea what he wants from me now. Adam, I'm sorry. Would you mind waiting in the salon for me? I hope it won't take long."

"And I hope for both of us that we then still get something to eat and won't be thrown out."

Frederic looked at his friend horrified. "Thank you for supporting me."

His friend went to the library and Adam glanced around the salon. The room was as large as the entire bottom area of the Ponderosa. A huge window front gave a clear view into the garden. Adam went to the window. Whether Frederic's family ever used this garden, or was it only decoration? He turned around. The entire room was so impersonal. Adam doubted that anyone here would stay often or long. He glanced around the room. Then he paused. In addition to the grand piano a guitar leaned on the wall. Adam was amazed to find such an instrument here. A violin he could imagine, but a guitar? Adam took it in hand and looked at it wistfully. His own he had left at the Ponderosa because he had been afraid that it would be damaged during the long journey. Then he played a few notes and was surprised that it was tuned. As the conversation between Frederic and his father certainly would take longer, he sat down in one of the chairs and began to play. It wasn't until then that he realized how much he missed his own guitar. Softly he began to sing. Playing his fourth song he felt observed and broke off his play. He looked around. At the door stood Frederic's sister. He slowly rose from his chair and addressed her. "Hello."

However she smiled at him briefly, then turned around to walk away quickly. Adam put down the guitar and went to the door. But he only saw as she left the house.

"Adam, I'm sorry you had to wait that long." Frederic came down the hall. "Adam? ... Everything's alright?" Absently Adam still looked at the front door. Only when Frederic touched his arm, he winced. "Adam….?"

„Sorry, what did you say?"

"Tell me where you've been with your thoughts."

Adam collected his thoughts, cocked his head and looked at Frederic questioningly. "And my friend? Must we dine out now?"

"I'm sorry, Adam. You have to stand it today and dine with us."

„I'm not spared with anything."

Frederic slapped his friend on the back and both went to the dining room.


	30. Chapter 30

"Mr. Cartwright ..." Adam stopped and turned to Mr. Green. "... Mr. Cartwright, you should come to Mr. Francois' office as soon as possible."

Adam nodded to Mr. Green, put his bag on the table and made his way to the office of Frederic's father. The door was open and he didn't have to knock, because Mr. Francois had seen him already in the hallway. "Adam, come in. I've been waiting for you." Adam entered the office and shook the hand offered. Mr. Francois pulled Adam instantly to an easel on which was pinned a map of Boston and the surrounding area. "Adam, we received a new order. We shall build a bridge over the Charles River." He pointed to a spot on the map. "Exactly here."

Adam looked at the site and was a little confused. "At this point? As far as I know, the Charles River isn't very deep, so why should the bridge be at one of the widest sections?"

"At first I've asked myself, too, but it's planned to build a new university at the other side and the bridge shall connect the two districts." Adam's confusion hadn't subsided by the response. "Oh, I see, Adam. You have also recognized the next problem. Yes, there's no space. We need land and that should be your task. I want you to think about how we get more land at this point, and how we can restrain Charles River. And I'd like to have some ideas from you on how the future bridge should look like."

Adam looked further on the map. Only with reference to this brief information of Frederic's father, Adam could already recognize that it was a very large project, which would not only bring the company a lot of money, but even more prestige. "Mr. Francois, it honors me that you want to include me in this project, but shouldn't this task be taken over of one of your experienced staff or your son?"

His boss took a seat behind his desk. "Of course I could have it done by someone else, but I think further, Adam. You're young, you're talented. This project won't be finished within three years." His look now was businesslike and serious. His voice very factual. „Adam, you've been working for ten months for me, and I know your abilities. I wouldn't be a good businessman if I didn't commit you to me. I won't let it happen that you go to competitors, if you got your diploma in hand." Now he smiled a little. "Adam, I am very grateful that you've taken hold of my son's hand. So I am very pleased with his positive development, but it's still far from being so developed to participate in such a project. Frederic only studies because he doesn't know what else to do with his life. He doesn't have that look that you need for this job."

Mr. Francois was right. His friend would certainly not be a good architect like his father, but since he paid more attention to the study than the nightlife of Boston, he was getting better. When he would go on like this, he might be a good support for his father one day. Of course Adam hoped for Frederic that his father would see that too. "Mr. Francois, I'd like to work on this project, but I want to be honest with you. I've no idea what I'll do after the end of my studies."

Frederic's father stood up and looked at him in dismay. "Adam, you don't want to tell me that you're seriously thinking about going back into the wilderness? I want you to be here in my company, and I'm sure that you won't need a long time to acquire a good job here. You belong to the city and not to the countryside. There you can't do anything with your studies. You won't be happy if you just build barns." He went to the easel and pointed with his finger on it. "This is your future, Adam, and not any cattle."

For now it made no sense to continue talking about his future with Mr. Francois, so he directed the subject back to the project. "I will think about your words. When do you want to have the first results from me?"

Mr. Francois took some papers from his desk and handed them to Adam. "In three weeks, I expect the first drafts and ideas of you. To be able to work in peace, you will use the small office down the hall." He slapped Adam on the shoulder. "I know you won't disappoint me."

"I'll do my best, Mr. Francois."

Adam left the office, took his stuff and moved into his new office.

XXXXX

Adam stood in front of the fireplace and looked at the letter, which lay there. Just three days before it had arrived, but until now he hadn't found the time to read it. Even today, he wouldn't have time for sitting by the fireplace with a coffee. But as he didn't want it to leave unread any longer, he opened it.

 _Dear Adam,_

 _I am sorry that I have to start my lines this way. Are you alright? Your last letter left me worried somehow. I know you certainly have a lot to do with your studies, but before, your letters were always very long and very personal._ _But t_ _he one I've just received, was not written by the Adam, I know. You've told almost nothing about yourself. You've just listed, what you have to work on. Aren't you coming to terms with Frederic? Have you found a place where you can find your inner peace? None of this you wrote to me, and how you've spent your birthday either. Before that you had concerns about how you'd feel this day in the house where your mother died. Adam, I've got the feeling that the city causes your heart to turn hard, or am I mistaken? I would like to tell you so much about home, but at the moment I'm quite sure that it wouldn't really touch you._

 _If I'm wrong in terms of your inner balance, I apologize, but I know you really too well to be wrong. Before I end this letter, I would like to give you the following lines on your way._

 _'A man's heart_ _alienated from nature will turn hard. The lack of respect for all living creatures and everything that grows, also leaves to die the respect for people. Therefore, the influence of nature is an important component to keep yourself sensitive.'_

 _I am looking forward to your next letter._

 _Pilamayaye wakan tanka nici un ake u wo ahoe._

 _Yours, Koko_

Adam put the letter back in the envelope and placed it on the fireplace. "Frederic, where are you? I finally want to go into the city."

XXXXX

The blood on his hands was still damp. He closed them to fists and tried to get his anger about himself under control. He leaned his head against the cold stone wall of a house in the alleyway. Even after getting up in the morning Adam had noticed that there was an restlessness which he couldn't explain himself. No, he lied to himself again. He knew exactly what made him so out of balance. It was the end of August and he hadn't looked till this very day for a place in nature far from the people and noise. After more than a year Adam had forgotten everything that had accompanied him half of his life.

His breathing was too fast. His heart was pumping. Why had he been provoked in such a way? Again he could answer the question quickly. Because he had been actually annoyed by himself and just wanted to let off steam. He had done it. Koko's lines from her last letter were true. His heart had hardened.

As he sat in his office today at noon, looking at his drawings and his plans for land reclamation, it hit him like a lightning ...

XX

... he sat on the edge of the table and put his face in his hands. Adam wondered what he was about to do here. Without a second thought about it, he had changed the land around the Charles River this much that it became unrecognizable. He didn't have to close his eyes to hear the voice of Amarok.

'Wherever the white man touches the earth, the earth is sore. Do not tear the bowels of the earth, otherwise the rivers and trees will cry.

With the help of the sun, Earth was created, and it should be left as it was. The Earth and I, we are one. The land and I live by the same laws and in complete harmony. The one who has the right to have the land at his disposal, is the One who created it.'

In Adam arose an anger and he was unable to control it. All by itself his hand grabbed the cup standing beside him. The next thing he noticed was slowly dripping coffee on the drawing, which was attached to the easel. The cup's pieces lay on the floor in front of it. He stood up and left the office. He would be an hour early for the rowing training, but with a bit of luck there would be a boat vacant and he could row few laps on his own.

XXXX

Frederic and he left the university campus. „I've no idea what's bothering you today, Adam. But today you had a pace with which I couldn't keep up, even with the best intentions."

"Then you just have to train more."

Frederic stopped and got hold of Adam's arm. "Would you please tell me what has upset you today?" 

"You? Certainly not."

Adam wanted to walk on, but his friend held him still. „Adam, we are friends. You always listen to me when I've got problems and that isn't so rare, so I can listen to you as well, damn it!"

Adam looked at the sky. His pulse calmed down. He couldn't vent his anger about himself at his friend. The wolf in him mustn't be this strong. He decided to continue his walks on the port starting tomorrow. Since he worked on the project of Frederic's father, he spent every free moment in the office. Adam had to reorganize his life. He looked back at his friend and smiled. "Please pardon me. I think I just slept badly."

"I actually thought we could go to the city, but perhaps we should rather go straight home."

Adam put his arm around Frederic. "We go to the city. Just because a storm was raging in me, we don't have to spend the evening at home."

"Well, then let's go."

After dinner they went into one of the many bars in the city. "For having slept so badly, you have a very nice stamina today. Adam, I'm done. Let's have a beer and go home."

"You're diminishing, my friend."

"I've got a very strict landlord. If I don't sit at the table at seven at the latest, he throws me out."

"I'm always telling you, look for another accommodation. With this guy I wouldn't like to live under the same roof."

Both went to the bar and ordered a round. "Hello, Frederic. You seem to be very rarely here."

A man who was no older than Frederic, stood between Adam and his friend. "Conrad, old mate! You know very well, since I'm at the university, I haven't got so much time left."

Conrad laughed loudly. He had, like Adam and Frederic, already drunk one or two beers. "You're joshing! You don't want to tell me, you're doing something like "working"?"

"Yes, I still can't believe it myself. Conrad, I want you to meet a good friend." He pointed to Adam. "This is my friend Adam. We're studying together."

Conrad raised his glass and toasted to Adam. "Tell me, Frederic, I heard your father landed the bridge project and is just about to snaffle the construction of the headquarters of the Governor."

"Yep, that's true. My friend here is working with him on this project." He looked over at Adam. "Who knows, Adam, if you're this good, maybe my father makes the suggestion that the bridge is named after you."

Adam took another sip from the glass. "I don't think so."

Conrad nudged him. "Not so modest. Now I know who you are. Frederic's father told my father about you, and that he'll do everything to ensure that you stay in the company after you graduate. And such a thing the old Francois won't tell with no good reason. You really need to be good, otherwise he wouldn't think so highly of you." Adam didn't answer. "Oh boy, if your friend really is this good, maybe he can also find a solution for the construction problems in the Bay, so that the new port can finally be built."

Frederic shifted his weight to the other leg. By no case he wanted to discuss this issue when Adam was around. "Conrad, one by one. How about a round of beers?"

Conrad popped his glass on the counter. "I pay and then my new friend ..." He looked at Adam "... then you tell me how you'd drive them Chinese and them stinking Indians out of the Bay." He looked at Frederic. "Because we need a quick solution. My father told me that reflections are underway concerning the acknowledgement of the Wild's area and that must not happen at all."

While Frederic stared into his glass, Adam turned slowly from his. "Frederic, I think we should go now."

"What's wrong? The night's still young and you ought to tell me how we can get rid of this pack."

Conrad tapped Adam against the chest at every word. Frederic couldn't react as quickly as Adam grabbed Conrad by the collar. "I won't tell you anything, and if you don't keep your filthy mouth shut, I'll ensure that you can only sip soup in the coming months."

Conrad struck Adam's arms away. "What's YOUR problem?"

Frederic tried to stand between his two friends. "Adam, come on. I think you're right and we'd better go now."

Conrad looked at the two friends skeptically. "Frederic, you're not telling me that your friend here is an Indian lover?"

Adam pushed Frederic aside. "And if so ... you got a problem with that?"

Conrad looked at Adam with narrowed eyes. "Of course! Who does not? They stink, they don't speak our language, take away our la ... "

More Conrad couldn't tell because Adam punched him with full force in his face. Conrad tried to cling to the counter, so he didn't give in. Adam held him with one hand on the shirt, with the other he hit him again and again. Frederic tried to pull away his friend from Conrad. "Adam, stop it! He had enough!"

Adam continued to punch Conrad. Frederic had no other choice. If he wanted to save his friend from a serious foolishness, he had to do this now. He took a swing and hit Adam in the face with all his strength. Instantly Adam let Conrad go, staggered back and touched his nose. He looked with shocked glance at his hands and then to Conrad and Frederic. Without a word, he left the bar and ran into the next alley ...

XXXX

... His head still leaned on the wall. Without Frederic he surely would have killed Conrad. In his rage Adam had shot reckless arrows. He hadn't conquered his greatest enemy ... himself. During the last months he had betrayed anything that has been so important to him.

"Adam? ..." Frederic came down the alley, running. He stopped behind Adam and touched him gently on the back. "Adam ...?"

Slowly Adam straightened up and turned around. With vacant eyes he looked at Frederic. "I lost my way of thinking and living. I'm not familiar any more with the earth, the forests and everything that grows there. I only run around like a panicking buffalo, on the hunt for money and pleasure. I've to learn again to live in harmony with nature, otherwise I won't survive the next few years here."

Frederic didn't understand what was going on with Adam, but he had never seen him like in the bar right now. For him Adam had always been someone nothing could get out of his peace. "Adam, what will you do now?"

"I have to find my peace and my wisdom again." He looked at his friend directly. "I'm sure you won't understand, but I'll leave Boston for a short time. I've to look for a place where I will stay four days and four nights. I'll only take, what nature gives me. There I hope to find my inner peace again. Should I fail, I will leave Boston forever."

Whatever had upset his friend so, Frederic didn't want Adam to drop out of college. "Yes, you're right. I don't understand what bothers you, but if you think you can find what you're looking for in these four days, then do it, and if you've still not found what you need, then stay another four days. I don't want you to leave Boston."

"We'll see." Adam looked down the alley. "How is Conrad?"

Frederic grinned. "Quite well. He is back, but one thing's for sure, Adam, in your presence he'll never say something negative about Indians again."


	31. Chapter 31

Even before sunrise he had been on his way. Adam had hired a horse and when sun rose, Boston was already far behind him. He had no idea where the road would lead him. He had no destination. In full gallop he rode through the fields, and the wind whipped into his face. For Adam too early, but important for the horse, he fell back to a normal pace after a short time.

It was only nature around him. No people, no noise and ... no restlessness. Adam noticed already how good it felt to have left the city behind. The constriction, which had become increasingly in him in recent days, subsided.

Shortly after noon, he left the path and rode up to a group of mountains. Cautiously the horse went over the stony ground. On a small hill Adam stopped and looked down into a valley. There it was. The place where he would stay the next days. Carefully Adam led his horse down the hill. He dismounted and looked around. It wasn't a very large valley, and thus perfect for his purposes. He unsaddled the horse, took off the bridle and let it freely graze in the meadow. Since it didn't look like a summer storm, he hadn't to worry, it might run away. After he had searched for a place to sleep at night, he looked at the small lake in front of him. With eyes closed and with a deep breath, he inhaled the fresh mountain air. He undressed slowly and stepped into the lake. Only when his body told him that it was enough, he left the water and lay down on the grass. His gaze went to the sky, and Adam watched as the clouds passed by. Another deep breath. Then he closed his eyes and let nature sink in. He quietly listened to the sound of the wind and his inner peace spread out more and more until he only heard his own breath.

The sun was about to disappear behind the mountains when Adam woke up drenched in sweat. His chest rose and fell too fast, and his gaze was fixed at the sky. He had found it again, his inner peace, but he was scared of what had happened next. What Amarok once had told him, 'Within the inner silence any movement of thinking ceases and the heart begins to speak.' But what his heart told him in a dream, scared him. He had dreamed that he was at home again in Nevada, standing in the village of the Gosiute. Throughout the village bridges were built that reached up to Virginia City. The creek, where Koko and he always used to go fishing was filled with sand and all the other waters around the Ponderosa, too.

He himself stood in the middle of the village with a sketch pad in hand. Aloud laughing he shouted at Amarok and the others that it was his land, and he could do whatever he wanted to do. Then the picture changed. His family and Amarok with his warriors came in full war paint running towards him and encircled him. Until they were so close that they crushed him with their bodies. Little by little he calmed down. How could he have let it get this far? Why hadn't he noticed the first signs? How could he be so blind? The whole thing reminded him of his father. Who also had lost sight one time or another of what's important, because he hadn't listened to what his heart wanted to tell him. How could he presume to blame him at that time? He was no better! Adam straightened up slowly. It was the first day. He shouldn't try to find an answer to all his questions in the very first hours. He had time. Much time. First, he'd look for some wood for his campfire. Adam pulled on his pants and went on his way.

On his third day he was grateful to Amarok. As if Koko's father had known that Adam would fall in a crisis during his time in Boston. He had given Adam the advice, he should be four days and four nights out into solitude, if he didn't hear his heart any longer. Then he'd find his way back if the Great Spirit will.

'Because loneliness is the depth of the nature of the heart, the pearl of pure gold in the center of all things, the treasury, no robber is able to penetrate. If you want to get to know the immeasurable richness of mind, you have to learn to live with yourself.'

And he had found his way back. His soul hadn't been completely lost. But what to do next, he still didn't know. His studies were in contrast to what Amarok had explained to him very early.

'Who pays no respect to the earth destroys it. Those who don't respect all life like their own, become a murderer. For man sometimes believes that he's the owner, has been raised to be the ruler. That's a mistake. He's just a part of the whole. His task this is to be a guardian, a manager, not an exploiter. Man has responsibility, not power. In any decision he should think on the seventh of the coming generations. It's our task to ensure that the people who are yet unborn generations, find a world not worse than ours, but hopefully better.'

Leaning at a rock Adam looked at the water. How could he reconcile his life with the progress brought by life? He didn't decline progress. It wasn't even possible to stop it. He would give anything if Koko's father was here. He'd certainly have some advice for him.

Adam smirked. First, he would advise him not to be so impatient with himself. He still had two nights and one day ahead. The answers would turn up. For now he was first of all happy that the rest taken, had ensured that his soul had caught up again.

It was the last night. In the morning, Adam would return to Boston. Long he had been thinking about how it should go on. Adam had found his way back to himself and his way of thinking and living. The cognition of this was that he wouldn't spend the rest of his life in a city like Boston. He needed nature around. He needed the conversations with his father at the fireplace. The talks with Amarok and Koko.

Koko ... she just needed to read one of his letters and she already knew that something was wrong with him. Her, he missed in particular. The girls, whom he had met in Boston so far, were not to be compared with her. They were only interested in what he studied and in what circles he associated. And that was exactly what was lacking here in Boston. The honesty with each other. Here it just counted who lived where and how, and who was invited to the next social event. He didn't want to end up in a house like that of Frederic's parents, and he wanted no woman at his side whose heart beat only to the rhythm of his status. He had decided to cancel his studies and to return to Nevada before winter. The only person for whom he felt sorry, was Frederic. He had become a good friend to Adam and had saved him in the bar from committing a big mistake. Adam hoped that Frederic would even then continue to study if he wasn't there anymore.

He looked up at the mountains. It wouldn't take long and the sun would rise.

Adam stood up and packed his things. If he was going to ride off now, he could be home shortly after noon. He'd dress in fresh clothes, shave and eat something. For he was mighty hungry. He hadn't found plenty to eat in the valley. The luck at catching fish had somehow left him. With a last look he mounted his horse and left the valley. Before returning to Nevada, he certainly wouldn't come back again. On his way back he'd definitely look for a place in Boston where he could retire now and then during the remaining weeks. Therefore, he had decided not to ride on the main road, but along the coast, and then to pass through the working-class quarter to the livery stable.

Just as Adam had suspected, he reached Boston shortly after noon. He rode through a small wood. Just beyond began the working-class quarter. From the corner of his eye he suddenly saw a small trail going along through the trees. Adam turned his horse and followed the path. After a few minutes the small forest thinned out and he stood on the cliffs overlooking the sea. Slowly, he got off his horse, tied it and went to the edge of the cliff. To his left was a plateau, not two feet below. Carefully he climbed down the rocks until he reached the rock ledge.

He stood at the edge and looked towards the open sea. Nothing could be heard. No waves. No noise of the city. Only the slight wind blowing in his face. Adam bent down, picked up some earth and let it slowly trickle back to the ground. And at once he knew it. That would be his place of peace for the remaining time. He said aloud: „Mitawasicun he omakiyake."

He straightened up again. "Hope you don't intend to plunge right off the cliff?"

Adam spun around and had to look twice. At the end of the plateau, on the wall, Frederic's sister was sitting. His confusion about the situation could clearly be seen. Frederic's sister rose from the ground. "You are the friend of my brother, aren't you?"

„Yep!"

He didn't know what else he should have said, and she just looked at him, shaking her head. "And you've left my brother lying in the bar from which you apparently just came?"

„Pardon?"

"Well, the way you look, you just don't come from the university."

Adam looked down at himself and then smiled slyly. Yes, the way he looked, he wouldn't be let in at the university or at a restaurant. His clothes were full of sand and dust, and he didn't need to look into a mirror to know that Frederic's blow had left its mark. He put his hand on his face. And that his last shave was almost one week ago by now, didn't improve his appearance as well. "I just hope that Frederic's at the university and not under any table. And I have just returned from a short trip."

She laughed softly. "You want to tell me that my brother would learn voluntarily, and where your trip has led you, I can imagine."

Adam crossed his arms. "Why do I feel that you've no high opinion of your brother and you judge me just the same way?"

"Because my dear brother hasn't done anything else in his life than to celebrate, drink and squander the money of our parents. Now, that he's living with you, it won't be getting much better, but rather worse."

"Obviously you both haven't had a talk for quite some time, otherwise you'd know that your brother visits the University every day and earns his money at your father's company."

„I cannot believe that!"

"But that you can." Adam pointed to the sketchpad lying on the ground beside her. "Have you drawn that?"

Bending down quickly, she picked up the sketchpad and closed it. "Yes, I did, but as my father would say. Pure waste of time."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, with him you also have such a good relationship like with your brother, although he certainly doesn't spend his life at bars?"

She glared at him angrily. "Don't you make fun of me."

"Why not? You've judged me very quickly without knowing me."

She turned around and searched her belongings. "I think I'll go now."

He stepped forward and grabbed her arm. "Sorry. It wasn't my intention to make fun of you." She pulled away her arm. "I'd really like to know why your father considers it a waste of time that you draw. He's got to be happy that you have this talent. Frederic is by far not so good."

She now looked somewhat bitter. "Yes, I've to listen to that whenever father's holding one of his sermons - that I got it and HE doesn't." She took a deep breath. "You have no idea that even I am a big disappointment for my father, not only my brother."

"No, you're no topic at our home."

She sat down on a small rock, looking at the sea. Since she didn't continue talking, but apparently wasn't up to leave, he sat down on the ground and leaned against the rock face. So they both sat there for a while and only looked at the water. When she spoke again, he winced. "Frederic and I were eleven when we came to Boston. In the first year we did a lot together as before in France. Just as twins are, but then he befriended some boys from the neighbourhood and I made friends with a girl I had met on the beach. That was the time when our views of life developed in completely different directions. From there on he only moved in those circles which my father loves so much and I ... I realized after some time that my friend from the beach was the child of a working class family. To make a long story short - we're still very good friends, and my father isn't amused at all. In his eyes, I spend too much time with her and in their neighbourhood." She paused and took a deep breath. "Back then I had taught my friend to read and write. Since the beginning of the year we both teach the children in her neighbourhood because there's no school, and the working class children aren't welcome at the schools in the city, which means that many of them stay at home. At the moment we think about where to go with the kids in winter. It was quite cold in January in our shelter, and in recent months there are more and more kids joining our lessons." She looked at him seriously. "Now you can be as horrified as my parents and the rest of Frederic's friends."

Adam looked back at the sea. He could well imagine that this didn't fit into the world view of good Mr. Francois. With a smile he just imagined how all of the working class kids were playing catch in the large Francois' garden. Frederic's sister jumped up and looked at him angrily. "I should have realized right from the start that you would make fun of it! I judged you right! You're just as I had imagined. Just as my brother and his friends. Why should you of all them people be different!"

Adam quickly got up and raised his hand. "No ... no ... I haven't laughed at you. My fantasy just took me away." She still looked at him grimly. "I think it's good what you're doing. Believe me. I'm just wondering why you don't extend the shelter?"

She put her hands on her hips. "Either you still make fun of me or you're not from here."

"As it looks like, I'm no topic at your home, too."

"Oh yes, of course you are. My father speaks constantly of you and the new project, but I'm not listening. You're not this important to me."

Slightly peeved, he looked at her. "Thank you ... .. Yes, I'm not from here. I come from Nevada, but I think just like at my home, it should be possible to build a schoolhouse here."

With narrowed eyes she looked at him blankly. "Nevada? You've come here all the way to study in Boston? I'd never want to live here willingly."

"Yes, it's not easy here." They faced each other in silence. "And ... why can't you build a schoolhouse in Boston?"

"Because the workers have no money, and my father's dear friends and business associates wouldn't spend any money on something like this."

He looked determined. "Then show me your shelter."

"What?"

"You should show me the place where you teach the children."

"Why?"

Now he had to laugh. "Well, I think you know what your brother and I are studying. Then I should come up with something to improve the shelter a little."

She saw Adam's determined gaze. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"So we must go to the working-class neighbourhood, but ... .." She looked at him again from top to bottom, "... the way you look, you shouldn't go attracting attention out there."

"Thank you ... .. you really have an inimitable way to deal with your fellow men."

On the way back over the rocks she politely declined his help. When they both stood at his horse, he looked around. "Where is your horse?"

"I have none. I always come here on foot."

He took the reins. "Then we'll just walk. By the way, my name is Cartwright. Adam Cartwright."

He offered her his hand. Ignoring the fact that it was still dirty from the sandy ground, she accepted it. "Bridget."

In less than thirty minutes, they stood in front of a very ramshackle shelter. Adam looked at the wood and the ground conditions. "Bridget, you're sure that there will be no trouble if you intend to build a schoolhouse here?"

"Believe me, Adam. It's of no interest what's happening here in this quarter. The leaders of the city only pay attention to the fact that Boston gets bigger, attracts more wealthy families who will invest more of their money here."

He put his hands in his pocket and looked at the place again. Then he looked at the clouds up in the sky. If he didn't know better, he would suspect that Amarok had his finger in the pie, and he had given him advice this way. Why had he never thought he could choose what projects he wanted to work on, when he had thought of his studies and his future? He didn't need to change areas or to build bridges in places that he considered not to be useful. Why shouldn't he make his expertise available to those who thought like him?

Of course, the work that he had done the last month for Mr. Francois had been a challenge. It had been good to find solutions for allegedly hardly solvable problems but why shouldn't there be projects of this size in future, which won't intervene so massively in nature? Why shouldn't he take care of the needs of those whose voices were not be heard. He looked back at the shelter and then to Bridget. Yes, he would try. But if he could notice only the slightest hint that he got lost again, then he would leave Boston.

"Good. It shouldn't be a problem to build a small schoolhouse here. I'll take care of the timber, and then Frederic and I will start with the work at the weekend. Who knows, maybe we will even get help from one or the other from the neighbourhood."

"Frederic? The times when I believed in miracles are past, Adam."

With a broad grin, he looked at her. "Then you'll see a new miracle at the weekend, for if he shouldn't be there, he'll be kicked out of my house."

She looked at him still in disbelief. "And you really don't make fun of me?"

"You'll see at the weekend. But now, Bridget, I'll go home, otherwise I'll die here at your feet of hunger."

"Pardon?"

With a smile, he mounted his horse and rode home.


	32. Chapter 32

„I shall do WHAT?"

Frederic was in the kitchen and looked at Adam stunned who fixed himself something to eat. "At the weekend you shall build with me a new schoolhouse in the working-class quarter."

„What?"

Adam turned with a worried look at his friend. "Did you get problems with your ears in recent days?"

"Nope! But you've gotten probably too much sun during your trip." Adam turned back to his meal. Frederic waited to see if his friend might tell him more. "Hello, Adam, ... could you tell me please why I should do that?"

"Because you're my friend and your sister needs help?"

Frederic's face became serious, and he took a step toward Adam. "What's got my sister to do with it, and if she has something to do with, then what do YOU have to do with it? ... I thought you weren't in Boston the last few days?"

"Frederic, get air and calm down."

"What have you got to do with my sister? I told you, she is taboo for you!"

Adam took his plate, walked past Frederic into the living room and sat down at the table. "I met her by chance, and she told me that there is no school in the quarter of the workers. Therefore, we decided to build one, so that the children there can learn to read and write, too."

His friend joined Adam at the table. "WE?" Adam pointed with his fork at the chair opposite. "I don't want to sit down."

"Well, then we don't continue to talk. I don't intend to raise my head constantly while eating."

Grumbling Frederic sat down.

"Frederic, you needn't to worry. I'll just build the schoolhouse for your sister, nothing more. In recent days, much has become clear to me and one of which is that I'm not going to stay in Boston after graduation, in no case. And believe me, no woman here will go willingly to Nevada. And an adventure with your sister isn't what I want to have anyway. I hope we can finish this chapter now and talk about the project."

„It's a deal, Adam? Even though my sister and I haven't got along as well as before in recent years, she's still my sister, and I won't stand by if she should only be a nice amusement for you."

Slightly annoyed Adam looked up from his plate. "Didn't I just say that? My future plans look different."

Frederic leaned back in his chair. "Well. I believe you. Otherwise I might lose my temper like you facing poor Conrad! And now my friend, please give me a reason why I should join such a idiotic project?"

Adam put his knife and fork aside. "Frederic, do you have something against the people of this working class quarter?"

"These are workers, Adam. They don't live in our world."

Adam looked at his friend very seriously. "Anyway, they do, Frederic."

"But in my circle of friends, there are none."

Adam shook his head. "And I thought that it would be this way ... and besides, you've already lived years with them under one roof."

Eyes wide his friend looked at him. "I did what?"

"Frederic, you've forgotten one thing! Without the people from this quarter you wouldn't have been able to lead such an easy life. Remember, I also grew up with no money. There were plenty of winters, where my father didn't know how we should survive, and I'm grateful for everyone who had helped us along the trail from here to Nevada and didn't have to consider whether we were worthy or not. Due to the workers you never had to experience what it means to freeze, because at your home there was always a cozy fire burning. In the morning you never woke up hungry because there was no money for supper. Your clothes were always clean and were ready for you in the morning. You could go to school, which enabled you to learn reading and writing. Don't get me wrong, Frederic! I don't blame you that you're grown up this way, but what I accuse you is that you look disparagingly on these people. You lived with your father's money and never needn't to do anything for it. But these people are working from sunup to sundown, then go back home with a few dollars in their pocket to take care of their families. If I hear thereafter that their children aren't accepted in the schools of the city, it makes me mad. You live here in a world which doesn't have much to do with their life. Leave Boston, then you'll get to know the real life." Adam took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Sorry Frederic, I didn't mean to shout at you, but I cannot understand that you and your friends take your life for granted and disapprove each who is different."

Frederic said nothing. He didn't even look at Adam. After a while, Adam stood up and took his dishes to the kitchen.

He was just doing the dishes, as Frederic came to him. "I'm sorry, Adam. I ... I've never seen it from this point of view. All my life my parents have said that we shouldn't play with these kids. They wouldn't be good for us. They'd teach us only to steal and to cheat and that's why I've never dealt with them."

Adam's voice was still very serious. "So you have just accepted and not thought about it? Frederic, please try to think about two things. The first - would your father have people working for him, who steal and cheat? And the second - your sister has the same parents and she's got no problem with the fact that her best friend comes from this quarter."

Again there was silence in the room. "Adam, I've never done anything like this before."

"What ... think about something?"

Frederic rolled his eyes. Why did his friend always give him a hard time. "I've never built anything or ever had tools in my hand."

Adam looked at him quizzically. "Of course you've built something. What about the model that we had to show after the first year?"

Frederic looked at the ceiling. "I had someone build it for me."

"You did WHAT?"

Adam couldn't believe it. "That's why you didn't want us to work together. I've been wondering."

"Of course I couldn't work with you. You would never have allowed someone else built it for me."

Adam rested at the sink, took a deep breath and spoke with his friend, without looking at him. "Do you want to go through your life this way? Constantly lying to yourself and letting everything that appears to be difficult be solved with money?" Then he turned to his friend. "Frederic ... I don't want to have someone as my friend who isn't honest to himself and others."

Frederic turned and left the kitchen. But then he remained standing at the door. His back was straightened and he exhaled loudly. After some time he turned back to Adam, who hadn't moved an inch. "Can you still use someone who passes you the nails? For more, I think, I'm useless."

Adam grinned at him cheekily. "Oh, believe me, you'll do more than passing me nails. You'll learn quickly how to build a house. First you'll go and let your sister show you the place at which the school should be built. Then I'm expecting from you a first draft as it should be by tomorrow evening."

"Until tomorrow night? How shall I do that?"

"Certainly not by standing here in the kitchen and palavering."

"And what are you doing about all this? Only giving orders?"

Adam walked over to Frederic pushing him to the front door. "Not yet lifted a finger and you already have the first complaints? No, my friend. First I'll make me a coffee, then write a letter to Koko and thereafter sit down in my chair and read a book which my father sent me. Now get out and get your work done!"

"With you I surely don't want to work on your ranch."

Both smiled at each other and Adam closed the door behind Frederic.

XXXX

Adam entered his office. The shards of his coffee cup were still on the ground. However, his drawings and documents were no longer at his desk. He hadn't expected anything else, but he had hoped nonetheless. So it wasn't possible for him to destroy them.

"Adam ..." Adam turned and saw Mr. Francois coming towards him. „Adam, are you feeling better? Frederic told me that a summer flu knocked you pretty bad off."

"Yes, thanks for asking, I feel much better."

Mr. Francois smiled at him knowingly. "Adam, we both know that this isn't the truth." Adam cocked his head. "You were just too critical about yourself." He pointed to the pieces. "That happens, but I can tell you it's completely unnecessary. Your ideas are brilliant. Yes, concerning the bridge you think somewhat too modern, but the customer has been very satisfied with the rest. Now we just need to check if we can transpose all this."

Although the four days had helped him a lot, those four days unfortunately had been enough that the project couldn't be stopped any more. „Mr. Francois, why don't you make the suggestion that this bridge's location is more towards the city? The costs would be reduced to half, and we wouldn't have to narrow the river."

"Adam, one thing you have to consider. Our customers don't look at the money and the customer won't like to go further towards the city. The designed university will be in competition with the other. Where it is planned, it stands above the others and there is a wonderful view to the sea. It'll be impressive, and many students will then decide to go there. Well, young man, I've got another appointment. You can pick your stuff from my office, so you can continue to work."

Adam made no attempt to move. "Mr. Francois, unfortunately I've got to tell you that I won't continue to work on this project."

Frederic's father was about to leave the office and stopped in motion. He stared at Adam and then he laughed. "Oh, Adam. I thought I had just understood that you said you don't want to continue to work on our project."

"Yes, that's what I said exactly."

Completely flabbergasted Frederic's father looked at him. "And the reason? Just because I said, some of your ideas are too modern?"

"No. Because I'm not behind this project. I happen to regard it to be wrong to be built in this place. I cannot agree with what I consider important in life."

"I don't understand what you're trying to tell me."

"It would take too long to explain to you the here and now. I was just about to ask you to give me other tasks or to tell me that I should pack my bags. But there's no way I'll continue to work on the construction of this bridge."

Adam knew he gambled very high. Although he received rent from Frederic, he needed a job alongside his studies. But if he judged Mr. Francois properly, he'd rather let Adam brush the floor, as to expose himself to the risk that he left to competitors. "It must be quite clear to you that I cannot understand your motives. But if that's what you want, there you go. Mr. Green will give you a different task." Mr. Francois was about to go, as he looked at Adam again. "And Adam, do not forget to take everything out of this office which belongs to you."

„Of course, Mr. Francois."

With a smug smile Adam grabbed his things.

XXXX

"Adam, can you please tell me why we have to start so early?"

Frederic and Adam took a fully loaded carriage to the working class district. "Because I intend to be finished tonight."

"Tonight? Did you forget that I'm not much help?"

"No, I didn't. But the way I judge people here, we will certainly get one or the other supporting hand."

Frederic looked at his friend sideways. "You really believe, don't you?"

"Yes I do. I don't know it any differently at home. We all help each other."

"Can you please tell me again why I'm doing this whole thing here?"

"Because you want to be a better person and you're afraid of my right fist?"

"Thanks, now I remember!"

They reached the place where the school should be built, at just after seven. Frederic looked around in amazement, wondering how many people were already on their way at this time of the day. "Now I know why you feel so comfortable here. Here they all seem to fall out of bed this early."

"Frederic, the magic word is 'work' and so we start right away."

Adam jumped off the wagon and pulled away the tarp. Leisurely Frederic rose from the carriage. "Frederic, move on. We have a goal in mind."

"A target? We haven't even started and you're already talking about the target?"

"Don't talk so much, you will need your strength."

„Knacker …!"

Adam and Frederic just looked at the drawing again, as Frederic's sister joined them. "Well, I almost can't believe that you're really here, Frederic."

Her brother shrugged. "Believe me, Bridget, I do not either."

Bridget turned to Adam. "Good morning, Adam. May I introduce my friend?" She pointed to a young woman standing next to her. "That's Giovanna. My truest and dearest friend."

"Good morning, Frederic. Good morning, Adam. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you both for what you're doing for us here."

„Oh, that's the least that could be done."

Adam looked at Frederic skeptically. "It is, Frederic? Well, go on. Unload the timber."

Frederic opened his mouth, closed it again and went to the carriage. Bridget looked at her brother and then back to Adam. "How did you manage it, Adam? I really don't recognize my own brother."

Even Adam looked to Frederic, who was struggling with the first timber. "Don't be so hard on him. He's a nice guy, and if he had met a friend like Giovanna at the time, then his life would certainly have been different. But believe me, it's not too late. If he still calls me his friend after this day, he's on the right track."

"You won't help him?"

"No. He does it quite well. I thought, I'd prefer to show you both how your new school building is supposed to look."

Giovanna and Bridget stood beside Adam and looked at the plan while Frederic continued to unload the timber.

In the afternoon they were already so far that it wouldn't be long, and they could start to build the roof. As Adam had guessed, it didn't take long and they got support for their work. He was sitting on a crossbeam, looking down with a smile. The whole thing reminded him a bit of home. When all came together to help a neighbor in the construction of the barn or the house. Not only Giovanna's entire family was there, but many other families whose children had visited the temporary school. It was a good mood. There was singing, and the women had provided tables with food and drinks, while the children were arguing who was allowed to sit at the window later. All this was nothing compared with the world, which was just a few streets away.

"Hey, Adam ...!"

Adam turned his gaze forward to Giovanna's brother. He pointed with a hammer on a point behind Adam. He looked over his shoulder and grinned. There stood his friend clutching anxiously to a bar. "Frederic, what are you doing up here? You told me wild horses couldn't make you do that!"

"I've also said, I won't make myself dirty. And how do I look now? Dirty!"

"I'm proud of you, but if you want to help up here, you have to let go of the bar."

Frederic looked at the beam to which he clung, and then back down. "I ... I think ... I'm better continuing with passing the boards."

Adam chuckled. "Frederic ... I don't want to scare you ... but you have to let go to get down again."

Adam laughed. He had stopped counting how often Frederic had already been dumbfounded today. He stood upright and went to his friend to help him to go down again. It took Adam all his persuasion, to convince Frederic to let go the bar and to lead him to the ladder. But he was pleased to see that Frederic wasn't resting below, but took care of the tasks on the ground after a few minutes.

In the evening, the two friends were standing with Giovanna and Bridget in the completed schoolhouse regarding their work. Giovanna clapped her hands in delight. "You two are fantastic. Thank you so much."

"Adam deserves your thanks. I haven't done much."

Adam put his arm around Frederic. "That's rubbish, Frederic. You've helped a lot, and one day you'll find yourself dare to go onto the roof." He took Frederic's hand. "And when I look at your thumb, you've given all."

Frederic looked at his bruised thumb. "Yes, I've tripled the consumption of nails."

Bridget smiled at her brother. "Come on, Frederic. Adam is right, I've never seen you work so hard like today."

With an embarrassed glance Frederic looked around. "If you think so."

"Of course, we mean it that way. Today everyone contributed his part and now ..." Adam raised his nose in the air, "... let's go outside and see what's smelling so delicious."

"Pig."

Adam looked at his friend questioningly. „Pig?"

"Well, when I got the second cargo of timber in the morning, I thought I could get something to eat for everyone, and so I've brought two pigs for tonight."

Adam's friend looked embarrassed to the ground. "You know where you can get pigs, Frederic?"

He looked back at Adam. "Not really. I asked Giovanna's mother, where I can get it, and if she would prepare it for the evening, but Adam ..." he raised both hands, "... I swear I've picked them myself."

XXXXX

Later, all sat at a large camp fire and talked. Adam looked into the flames and thought of home, as Bridget sat down beside him. "Do I bother you?"

"No. I was just deep in thought."

"I wanted to thank you, and not only for the schoolhouse."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then looked at Frederic, who was sitting on the other side between Giovanna and her brother and was talking lively. "I told you, he actually is a nice guy. He just needed a kick in the butt."

"Then please continue to kick him, so he doesn't forget it again."

"I'll do. Don't you worry."

"Adam, may I ask you, what you were just thinking? You've looked so satisfied."

He smiled a little. "I've thought of home."

„You're missing Nevada?"

Adam looked back into the fire and thought about his next words. "Yes. I miss days like this. Don't be angry Bridget, but Boston is so ... "

Adam couldn't think of the matching word.

"Artificial?"

"Yes, that's it exactly. I get the feeling most people here only play a role and nobody's honest to oneself. Those who cannot afford to play in this game, remain ignored, and I don't know this kind from home." He pointed in the round. "This here ... this is honest. None of those who are sitting here, would have suspected earlier today that we'd sit here all together. There hadn't to be sent invitations. No one had to get his suit out of the closet. No, we quite spontaneously came together and have our fun, and don't care if the other has got a job or not. It doesn't matter what country they come from. They realized that help is needed and have just joined in." At his next sentence, he had to smile and think of Koko. "And Bridget, in twenty years they'll still remember this day and this evening. They'll know that they were a part of it all."

The whole time Adam had looked into the fire and Bridget had watched him. "You won't stay in Boston when you've finished your studies, will you?"

"No, I'll go back home."

She looked into the fire. "Who knows. Maybe one day even I have the courage to leave Boston. Then I'll come to visit you and take a look at your world."

He turned his head toward her. "You might very fast feel the desire to be back in Boston. At the latest, if you've to get out in winter to get wood for the oven or to feed your horse."

She looked at him with big eyes and smirked. "Oh, I'd be using my charm and ask you."

Adam tried to look serious. "I have never let myself be bribed."

"Not even with a good breakfast?" Grinning, he looked back into the fire. "Adam, may I ask you a favor?"

"That we shouldn't build another house for you?"

She laughed. "No ... I've brought something from home this afternoon." Bridget reached behind and pulled out the guitar. "Could you please play something?" With a sparkling in his eyes Adam picked up the guitar. "But Adam, ... please sing a little louder this time."


	33. Chapter 33

Adam pulled his jacket tighter. It was cold and very windy. It looked like they would have to expect a storm tonight. He was on his way to Mr. Francois' house. He had left a message for him that he'd like to talk to him there. Adam couldn't imagine what Frederic's father wanted to talk about what they couldn't discuss in the office itself. In addition, their relationship was noticeably cooled down since Adam wasn't working any longer on the bridge project.

Mr. Green only had given him jobs that were very unambitious and also could be done by someone without knowledge of the matter. If this matter shouldn't change within the next year, he was ready to look for a different office to work for. Now he stood again in front of this big house and knocked on the door. A short time later he stood in the library of Mr. Francois and warmed his hands at the fireplace. "Adam, I'm glad that you could come so quickly." Adam turned to Frederic's father and shook his hand. "How about a cognac?"

Adam was slightly irritated by Mr. Francois' kindness. "Yes, please."

Frederic's father handed him a glass and pointed to one of the chairs by the fireplace. Without taking his eyes off of his boss, he took a seat. Mr. Francois sat down opposite him and both drank their Cognac calmly. „Adam, I can't make head nor tail of you." As he spoke, he looked at his brandy snifter. "You know, a good friend of mine works at the university, and we had a talk today ..." He raised his head and looked at Adam. "... And do you know what he told me?"

"No, Sir, I don't."

Mr. Francois didn't speak straight on, but looked back into his glass. The fire crackled, and Adam again wondered what was the concern of Frederic's father. He wanted something. Adam was sure. Otherwise he wouldn't have ordered him here. If he wanted to kick him out, he could have done in the office.

"He told me what a good progress my son makes, and that he, if things continue like this, could get a very acceptable degree." Again Mr. Francois fell silent. "And we both know exactly, if he's going to make it to whom he owes this."

He looked at Adam. "No, Sir. Your son has worked this out all by himself."

"Adam, stop it. If it hadn't been for you, he would still hang around in the city bars and not put one foot in the University facilities. I just want to know how far your help goes?"

Adam took a deep breath. "You want to know from me if I do his work and write his reports? I think you should talk with your son, not with me. Then you would get your information firsthand for once."

Adam was about to stand up. Mr. Francois raised his hand. "Adam, please stay seated. I'm sorry. I should have known that you don't do such a thing. Not after you had the courage to say straight to my face that you don't want to continue working on the project. You are too intelligent that you don't know what an impact I'm having in this city. A word from me would have been enough, and you would have felt the ground fall from beneath your feet, but that was no matter to you. You have stood firm by your conviction, even if I don't understand ..." He looked back into his glass. "... you've got still a lot to do with the development of my son, and I thank you for this."

It was clearly to be seen that Mr. Francois didn't like discussing private affairs with outsiders.

"He just needed the right food for thought. The rest he has made himself."

"Adam, you know very well that I've to thank you even more. Do you think that I haven't noticed that the relationship between my daughter and her brother has changed for the better? The mood in general in my family has changed."

Now Adam looked at his glass. He surely wouldn't tell Mr. Francois why this had happened actually. His son and Bridget spent much time with Giovanna's family. Less than three weeks ago, Frederic even went out with Giovanna's brother and uncle to go fishing. If good ol' Mr. Francois knew about this, he'd disinherit his son at once.

"It honors you that you are so humble and so I instantly will bring the next topic up. My friend didn't tell me only about my son, but also about you and there we are at the point where I don't understand you. Adam, I know your reviews, and we both know how your degree will look, if nothing changes. I wonder why you work flat out, but don't take the chance to work in one of the best offices in the city. There aren't better future prospects for a student." Adam chuckled. There it was again, the fear of Frederic's father that he would leave for competitors. "Adam, with this project you instantly would have made a name for yourself in the best circles. There isn't a better start!"

Adam put his glass on the small table beside him. "Mr. Francois, what do you know about me? You don't even know me! Nevertheless, you try to make it always appealing to bind me to you permanently."

Frederic's father stood up and took Adam's glass to fill it again. "I know quite a lot about you, Adam. Believe me, before I make someone such an offer, I'll get me as much information as possible. I know where you come from, that you were born here in Boston, and your father is about to become one of the most important men in Nevada. That's enough for me to offer you such a deal."

He put Adam's full glass on the table and sat back in his chair. "With all due respect, Sir, you may know, where I was born and who my father is, but apart from that you know nothing about me. We both have a completely different attitude when it comes to life. You are merely after profit, money and reputation. Your status means more to you than anything else. Whereas I see primarily the man standing in front of me. No matter where he comes from and what status he has. Before I came to Boston, this expression didn't exist for me, and it's still of no importance to me. You want to know why I'm not working on your project any longer? ... Because it means an excessive and unnecessary intervention into nature. This isn't my life. I'm not ready to do everything for money."

He noticed that Mr. Francois tried to stay calm. He apparently wasn't used to having someone taking a different opinion, and also stating it. "You don't want to tell me you're against progress and changes? Because if that was the case, I ask you why you wanted to study here?"

"I'm not against progress, Mr. Francois, but I think we've got the responsibility to ensure that our work is in harmony with nature. Because if we destroy it, we destroy ourselves."

Mr. Francois flared up. "That's sheer nonsense, Adam! Look around you, how big this country is, such a small bridge will destroy absolutely nothing."

Adam leaned his head back and closed his eyes briefly. He mustn't be affected by Mr. Francois' restlessness. "No, this single bridge won't destroy nature, but it won't stop with this bridge. If we cut down trees, destroy all rivers, farm all the fields, without thinking about, then what will be left in the end? Concrete, steel and lumber, which we cannot eat, Sir. No, ... I'm not against change, but we exactly need to think about what we do and how we do it. I'm not willing to fulfill every request for money. Whoever wants to make business with me later will understand this very quickly."

Frederic's father stood by the fireplace, and looked down at Adam. "But then you'll have hardly any customers."

"Yes, I'll certainly have no business partners from Boston. But where I come from, you see things differently, and I've no doubts that I can't apply my knowledge at the right places. My attitude towards life is that I don't need success to be happy. I don't care what position in society I've got. I don't want to feel ashamed of my deeds in the evening."

Adam paused and then tilted his head and pinned Mr. Francois with his eyes. "Mr. Francois, when was the last time you've been in your garden? When did you go through the park and have looked at it deliberately? I think your money has made you blind to the beauty of nature and the price you will have to pay could be very high. Because your kids are not blind yet."

Mr. Francois' body stiffened in one breath, his eyes glaring at Adam angrily. Slowly Adam stood up. He assumed that today he had been in the Francois family house for the last time. He even wasn't sure if he still had a job on Monday. "Have a good evening, Mr. Francois. I'll find my way out."

Frederic's father stood motionless at the fireplace and watched as Adam left the library.

XXXX

It had started to rain and Adam was annoyed. The conversation with Mr. Francois had taken longer than he had intended. Today Giovanna and Bridget wanted to come to them and together they wanted to cook and then spend the evening at the fireplace. But just as it looked like he would be at home too late. When he opened the door, he heard the others talking and laughing in the kitchen. He took off his wet jacket and leaned into the door frame. "You aren't ready yet? Although I've taken extra time and thought I could sit down on the set table?"

They turned around and looked at him. "You know, Bridget, what my dear friend once said? Who doesn't work, goes away empty-handed. What do you think …. shouldn't we punish him for being late?"

"No ... look at him. He's all wet from the rain. He certainly has hurried."

Frederic crossed his arms. "Why was it so clear to me that you will stand by him? Giovanna ... what do you say?"

She also smiled at Frederic. "He surely had a good reason to be so late."

Adam's friend dropped his arms. "Adam, why do all the women fall for your stupid grin?"

Adam winked. "That's the irresistible Nevada charm which you unfortunately never will have." He walked up to the two women and gave each a kiss on the cheek. "Well, I'll go get dressed quickly. I'll be right back, Frederic."

Shaking his head, Frederic watched his friend. "Here, my dear, go set the table." Giovanna gave him some plates.

Later Adam came back down Bridget was just about to get the table set ready in the living room. He could hear as Frederic told Giovanna aloud about his trip on the fishing boat. Adam grinned. Each of them had heard this story certainly a hundred times. "And, is the fish he has caught, slowly becoming a fully grown whale?"

Bridget laughed. "I think it won't take much longer. He surely will achieve it by Christmas."

Adam looked toward the kitchen. After a while, Frederic's sister put down the tray, went to Adam's side and touched his arm. "What's wrong, Adam? You're again so thoughtful."

He turned to her and smiled. She reminded him of Koko. Just as Koko, she felt as well very quickly when something bothered him.

"You know, Bridget, ... I'm not sure if it's a good idea, that Frederic and Giovanna see each other so often."

"Adam, you're not about to tell me that they should stop it for social reasons?"

"You know very well that's not my intention. But you know your brother. He takes a lot of things not so seriously, and I wouldn't like to see, if he only plays with Giovanna, because it's something new for him."

She took his hand. "Adam, you cannot always watch out for Frederic. There are things he has to decide on his own. You can't protect him from everything and especially not from that."

He looked at her a little surprised. "She's your friend, you watch the whole thing quite easy."

She laughed. "Yes, I do ..., because I know her brother. Frederic can't run so fast, as not only Pietro, but also the rest of the family would be after him."

Wide-eyed Adam looked at her aghast. "He's your brother ...!"

"Yes, but she's my friend and as I'm also a woman, I'd completely understand it."

He pulled his hand away. "Do I have to be scared of you?"

With a smile, she took his hand. "Not until now."

Adam looked at Bridget's green eyes. They shone just like the smile on her face. He just wanted to stroke a strand out of her forehead, when Frederic called his name from the kitchen. "Adam, can you please open the wine?"

Adam took a deep breath and dropped Bridget's hand. "Yes I can do that."

At dinner Bridget's thoughts kept returning to the moment in the living room. It hadn't been the first time that there was a moment between her and Adam, in which she thought he was going to kiss her. But like today she always had the impression he was glad that it never happened, and she didn't understand why. Since the construction of the school, all four spent a lot of time together. Adam was so close to her, like no one else before, and she had a feeling he wouldn't feel differently. But the next moment he was again far from her. Like now. For some time she saw how he constantly looked at the clock. It was just before eight and he suddenly stood up. "If you'll excuse me. I'll be back soon."

Adam walked over to the fireplace and took something in his hand that Bridget couldn't recognize. Then he put on his jacket and left the house. Giovanna and Bridget looked at Frederic questioningly. "You wonder where he's going so suddenly?" Frederic took another sip of wine. "I don't know if I really should tell you. Because then you would probably think he's crazy."

Giovanna slapped him gently against the arm. "But we want to know. Finally, we are having a date with you. Since he cannot just walk away this way."

"Well, well, ... today is the birthday of his girlfriend in Nevada and every year they look to the stars at the same time, keeping some strange stone in hand, talking to each other. And don't laugh about it. He takes it very seriously. His girlfriend is an Indian girl and he believes in all this spiritual stuff."

Bridget fell against the back of the chair. The evening, which had started so beautifully, was over for her. Adam had never mentioned that someone was waiting for him in Nevada, and she had never asked. Somehow she had always assumed that he was single. Now she saw much clearer. She drank her wine and just wanted to go home.


	34. Chapter 34

The coffee was on the small table. The fire was burning. With a smile he took the two letters from the fireplace. The letter from his father, he had already read yesterday. Today were the turn of Koko's and Hoss' letters. Adam sat down in the chair and first opened the envelope of his brother. These were the first lines he wrote. It looked like Hoss had quite a long time to chew on the fact that Adam has gone to Boston.

 _Dear Adam,  
please don't be angry that I didn't write until now. You know that I always have trouble finding the right words, and even more to bring it down on paper ...! I still cannot believe it's the third time you aren't here for Koko's birthday. _

_I don't know what to write to you because surely Pa has already reported everything what's going on at home. At school, it isn't so nice any more as Koko's no longer attending school since summer. Now I have hardly anyone who spends the breaks with me. Little Joe prefers to play with the other guys than me. You know him. Always only nonsense in mind. In fact I'd prefer not to go to school, too. As often as possible, I go to Koko in the afternoon and help her with the horses. Amarok would like Koko to take care of the farm alone one day so he can move back again to the village with Aponi. I can't imagine that I'll come to the farm one day and Aponi isn't there any more. But Koko reassured me that this won't happen within the next five years._

Adam had to smile. Hoss' only concern might be that he'd get no more cakes in the afternoon. But Adam had to admit that he would miss it, too. As good as the cakes of Hop Sing were, but they couldn't measure up with those from Aponi. Adam looked back at the letter.

 _Five years ... then you're finally back home, and who knows - maybe then you'll live at Koko's Farm._

Adam laughed and fell silent at once. Why he was suddenly so sure it would not be this way? When he left Nevada, he wasn't sure concerning the future with Koko, but now? Yes, he still loved Koko, but not like ... He quickly closed his eyes and tried to think of something else. He didn't want to pursue this idea. He took a deep breath and read on.

 _Pa would surely be pleased. He had once told me that he's almost certain that one day Koko will belong to our family, but it can indeed be that you stay in Boston working there. Then I'll just continue to take care of Koko. But nevertheless you have to get home because Koko and I've got a surprise for you._

 _I think I should go now and check on Little Joe. I am to take care of him and it's so quiet in the house._

 _With love, see you, Hoss_

Carefully Adam put the letter back into the envelope. He was sorry to read that Hoss couldn't quite cope with school. Adam hoped Hoss was talking about his problems with his father and Koko. His brother took so much more to heart, and Adam still knew exactly how mean the other kids could be. He only needed to think of Koko and what she had to endure. Adam sipped his coffee and looked at the clock. He had plenty of time. Frederic was up at the office they shared and practiced for an exam. Both wanted to go out together later in the evening. He glanced into the fire, then opened Koko's letter.

 _My dear Adam,  
you won't believe how relieved I was when I read your last letter, but also how much my heart was crying. I'd so have liked to be with you and to help you in this difficult time. Please, take good care of you in future so that you'll never get lost this way again. But I'm also proud of you that you don't give up, but try to finish your studies. I think if you had come home now, you've had asked all your life, if that had been the right decision. Please promise me that you go at least once a week on this plateau to find your inner peace. I know how ambitious you can be, but always remember, Boston isn't Nevada. At home you'll even find your peace when you ride home from town. But just as you wrote to me, Boston seems to be a city that doesn't know the moment of silence. _

_Adam, I think you should also consider whether you should stop working at Mr. Francois'._ _A_ _s you wrote to me, he certainly cannot like that you no longer want to work on the project._

Adam looked up at the ceiling. Indeed, since his last letter to Koko, a lot has changed. After his talk with Frederic's father he himself had packed his things on Monday and found a new job in a small office without any problems. Although he now got less money, he could very well live with the local projects. Adam didn't want Mr. Francois to eventually vent his anger about him on Frederic or Bridget. Therefore, it was better to avoid him completely.

Again he took the letter.

 _Adam, you cannot imagine how hard I had to laugh when I read about Frederic clinging onto a beam on the roof. His face I'd have liked to see. Wait and see when you've got so much influence on him, then he'll be here in Virginia City ahead of you and hired as a cowboy. Well, now we're heading for the main topic. Unfortunately you can't see my grin right now. How are you and Bridget? As you've described her, she doesn't fit to the Boston society, and since you wrote me a lot about her, she must have quite impressed you._

Adam laid his head back and looked at the ceiling again. Why did he had to write Koko about her? If he had known how things panned out, he wouldn't have done. Now she would certainly ask him about her in every letter and he didn't know what to say. He didn't know himself how he should classify his feelings for her. Adam closed his eyes. That was a lie, he knew exactly how his feelings for her were. But he wouldn't admit it. On the one hand he had promised Frederic, and secondly he didn't want to stay in Boston in any case after graduating. And just as he couldn't live in her world, she wouldn't be able to live in his world. Although Bridget spent much time at Giovanna and her family, she returned back home in the evening. In a house full of luxury. A luxury that didn't exist on the Ponderosa.

And could he actually be sure, that their hearts beat with the same rhythm? To this day he didn't know how he would recognize. Didn't his feelings play a prank on him? If his feelings were really so strong for her, shouldn't he want to stay here without hesitation? Adam thought about the talk he had with Koko near the creek when talking about their feelings. Today, as then, he hadn't understood the words, how to identify the right girl at his side. How should two hearts go together? He shouldn't rush ahead like a wild horse, but also not go behind like a scared rabbit. What was it, Amarok wanted to tell him then? Was a kiss already rushing ahead? But actually he needn't to worry about this. He couldn't start something that would come to an end in two years. He also didn't know how Bridget's feelings towards him were.

Adam noticed how he clenched his fist. He didn't want to think about it. He had to keep his emotions under control. Adam only wanted to enjoy these two years with his friends, and then go back home. There he would be able to forget her.

His eyes fell on the letter in his hand. It was impossible to read any further for Adam. Again he looked at the clock. There was still enough time. He stood up, put the letters back to the fireplace, took his jacket and went for a walk along the harbor.

XXXXX

The walk had done him good. His head was clear again and Adam had regained control. He hung his jacket on the coat rack, walked to the fireplace and took the stone in his hand. "I'm sorry, Koko. I can't finish reading your letter today ..." He put back the stone leaning with both hands on the warm fireplace, head down. "Koko, why aren't you with me? It's so hard to get no answer from you ... I miss you so much."

It crackled behind him, and he turned around. On the stairs stood Bridget looking at him. Adam took a deep breath. The way she looked, she had certainly heard him. He still wondered what to say, when the door opened up in the office, and he heard Giovanna and Frederic coming down. His friend was still on the stairs when he saw Adam. "Adam, there you are. I was beginning to think you'd gone without me."

"I only took a little walk."

The two were now next to Bridget. "Adam, would you mind a spontaneous change of plans?"

Adam looked at the three. "I'd say cautiously, 'No'."

"Bridget and Giovanna had the idea, if we could all go out for a dance tonight."

"Dancing?" Adam scratched embarrassed behind his ear. "Don't you have any other idea?"

His friend looked at him in surprise. "Why? Don't you feel like dancing? Since we never have been out for a dance, it'll be something different." Frederic looked at his sister and her friend. "I think this will certainly be fun and Adam, ... three against one. You're outvoted."

Adam crossed his arms and looked at the floor. Then he looked back at his friends and wiping his eyes he spoke very softly. "I cannot dance."

Frederic came toward him. "You cannot WHAT?"

Adam looked at him annoyed. "You understood me perfectly well."

First Frederic looked at him in disbelief, but then he grinned from ear to ear. "You don't want to tell me that the great Adam Cartwright, whom goes everything so easily out of hand, and seemingly has everything in control, cannot dance?"

Adam looked at his friend still slightly annoyed. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course. I've finally found something that I can do better, but tell me why you cannot dance."

"Could we change the subject?"

From his three friends he got an emphatic 'No'. Adam took another deep breath. "I had no time for that. I left Virginia City at seventeen and before that the opportunity simply didn't arise."

Frederic stood still grinning in front of him, then he went at his side and put an arm around his shoulder. "My friend, you can't imagine what a lucky guy you are. Even if you aren't quite fond of the way we grew up, you can benefit from it now. Bridget and I had to learn to dance quite young, and when we're done with you, you'll be the best dancer in Nevada."

Adam looked around. "Can't we just forget the whole thing?"

"No, my friend, we won't. We both go now to change clothes, then we'll start, and you get your first lesson."

Frederic pushed his friend towards the stairs.

"Come on, Adam ..." Giovanna looked at him kindly. "... with Bridget you've got a good teacher."

He glanced at Bridget, who also didn't look very enthusiastic. The two men walked upstairs and disappeared into their rooms.

Giovanna looked at her friend and frowned. "What's going on, Bridget? Don't you like to go out with those two?"

Bridget went into the living room and sat down in one of the armchairs. Her friend followed her and sat down, too. "What's wrong with you lately? One minute you're happy that we do something with your brother and Adam, and the next minute I got the notion, you want to be back home as quickly as possible."

Bridget's gaze went to the fireplace and the stone. Today wasn't the first time she had heard Adam speaking with Koko aloud. Only today he had noticed her. But she had firmly resolved that she wanted to accept that there was no future for them both. She wanted to spend the rest of the time he was here in Boston with him in friendship. She was so happy to have found someone who didn't look disparagingly or thought her to be crazy. He hadn't laughed that she preferred to reproduce her thoughts and feelings in a drawing and not in words, and thus her sketchpad was her diary.

Adam loved nature as she did. With no one else she could walk along the coast, without a lot of talking. With a smile Bridget thought about how they had spontaneously taken two horses from the livery stable. They had left Boston and were galloping across the meadows. These were hours she'd never forget. But what she kept forgetting was that there was Koko and then she was - as today - brought into reality again. Finally she found a man with whom she got along without too many words, and to whom the Boston society was just as important as to her, and then there was Koko.

"Is it again because of Adam?" Bridget looked on to the fireplace and just nodded. "But what happened? You just went down briefly before us."

"He talked to her again."

Giovanna looked at Bridget sympathetically. Her friend had told her quite early what she felt for Adam, and both had been shocked when Frederic told them about Koko. "Why don't you talk to him? After all you usually always say what you're thinking."

Both looked at each other again. "What sense would it make? He's making no secret about the fact that he wants to return to Nevada again after graduating. You and know very well that the reason isn't only that he doesn't feel comfortable here, but that he wants to return back to her."

"But you told me that he was about to kiss you now and then. Perhaps his feelings for Koko aren't so big?"

Bridget chuckled. "You've never heard when he speaks loudly to her. A little while ago he said how much he misses her." Bridget took a deep breath and looked at her friend determined. "What I've said the last few weeks. It's just the way it is. In a few days it's Christmas, and I'm sure that we all will spend a nice evening at your home. And I've got at least two years with Adam, which I won't be robbed of." She smiled again. "And now I'm going to teach him to dance. Because I think this is possibly the closest I can ever get."


	35. Chapter 35

Bridget looked at him and smiled. She had never seen Adam being so nervous. She was sure he'd do anything in order not to be here. "Well, are you ready?"

„No."

She took his hand. "Come on, Adam. You've observed all the others for nearly half an hour. We will manage it together." Bridget wanted to go, but Adam stopped. "Adam ... what are you afraid of? We just want to dance." He took a deep breath, and she went nearer to him. "You've really got a problem when you suddenly are to do something that you cannot." Adam didn't look at her. His gaze was fixed on the other dancing couples. Bridget put her hand on his chest at the level of his heart. "Adam, you can't always control everything to be prepared for any situation. You're someone who learns quickly and believe me, it can be a lot of fun."

Adam looked at Bridget. "It can?"

She smiled. "With the right partner in any case."

His face relaxed a little. "Yes, I'm rather prepared for anything, and your idea today was very ... spontaneous."

She slowly took her hand off his chest. "Then today you won't only learn to dance, but to be quite spontaneous sometimes, too."

Adam looked past her to the dance floor. "I'll be standing more on your feet, than dancing properly."

This time, when she walked off with Adam at the hand, he followed her. "Then I'll make you a proposal. If you step on my feet you have to go out with me for diner. But only the two of us. No Frederic and no Giovanna. And if you'll step five times on my feet, we'll have five appoin ... Ouch!" She looked down first and then back to Adam, who grinned. "Adam ..., that only counts, if we dance."

"Oh ... then I've probably misunderstood something."

Smiling, she shook her head. "Well, then let's get started now."

As she had suspected, it didn't take him long to keep up with the dance steps. For this he had observed the other couples long enough. "Adam, try to relax a little. You love music. Just remember how to play guitar. You're dancing with this same feeling, too."

But after the third song he wasn't much more relaxed. "Adam, maybe we should have a drink."

They left the dance floor and went to their place, where Frederic and Giovanna already were having a drink. Frederic's grin could be seen from afar. "And Bridget? How is your schoolboy doing?"

"I am very pleased but ..." she looked at Adam, "... I think we will still need a few lessons."

Frederic and Giovanna looked at each other. "Don't let us stop you, my dear sister."

Frederic took another sip and took Giovanna back on the dance floor. Adam gave Bridget a glass. She took it with thanks and drank. "Will you tell me what's bothering you?" He raised an eyebrow. "Adam, I've known you now for quite a few weeks, and if you're so quiet and have these views, then there's always something bothering you."

He put his glass on the table. "I have a little problem of ... relaxing."

"Why? I mean, if we're all together, and you are playing guitar and sing, you're relaxed, too. Here we only move with the music, and you're doing it also very good ..." she smiled a little, "….. unfortunately."

Adam looked at Bridget. Then he pulled himself together. For the next few hours he could somehow allow a few emotions. He took her hand and returned with her to the dance floor. "I promise. Now it'll be better. I just thought too much with my head."

She looked at him a little confused. "What else should you think with?"

Adam didn't answer but just smiled.

XXXX

It was in February. Although there was no more snow, it was wet and cold and moisture crept through all bones. Adam was on the construction site taking some notes. "How do you do, Adam. As I see you're already very busy."

Adam looked up from his notes and saw Mr. Francois standing beside him. "Mr. Francois ... "

Frederic's father looked around at the site. "Good Mr. Graham has indeed landed a large order."

Adam looked back at his notes. "You didn't expect that?"

Mr. Francois laughed. "Of course not. His company normally doesn't take such orders."

Adam raised his head and looked at Mr. Francois directly. "Mr. Francois, may I ask you what you are doing here?"

He instantly raised his hands. "Don't worry, Adam. I'm not here to spy or to sabotage. Even if you don't believe me, I'm no sore loser." His gaze became serious. "I did let you go."

"Do I have to thank for that?"

Both men looked at each other assessingly.

"Adam, even if you think so. I've no anger toward you. I just don't understand, even if you have tried to explain it to me. You're moving in my circles, as if you had always lived there, and yet you reject this world completely. You could achieve such a career here in Boston, but you prefer to go back to Nevada."

With a slight smile Adam looked at him. "You still don't give up, Mr. Francois."

Frederic's father looked again a little more friendly. "Mr. Francois, I don't reject your world completely. Remember, Frederic and Bridget are very good friends of mine, and they aren't the only ones. I only have my problems with the way of your thinking, and that many of you think of yourselves something better, just because they own more money. What I said before - first I only view the man and not what he represents."

"What about your job?" He pointed to the construction site. "This is also a very big project, and I'm very sure that Mr. Graham hasn't hit upon the idea to submit an offer all by himself. How can this project be agreed with your opinion to protect nature?"

"You want to know why we have been awarded the contract and not you?"

Although Mr. Francois seemed very friendly and calm, Adam was sure that he was annoyed he hadn't got the contract and had lost just against Adam. "Sure it would be interesting, too, but I think I won't get an answer from you."

"Correct. Because I don't know, and if I did, I couldn't tell you."

"Very loyal! And what about your philosophy of life?"

Adam wondered if his former boss really tried to understand him. "We don't intervene here much into nature. The construction site is located in the city. The old building, which stood here just needed to be torn down so that a new one can be built. We work with what already exists. What I've told you before, I'm not against progress. I'm just trying not to fulfill all the wishes rashly. And to fill up Charles River so that rich students could have a better look to the sea, goes way too far in my eyes."

Frederic's father put his hands in the pockets and look at Adam once again. "Adam, I'm telling you honestly why I absolutely want to have you with me ..." Mr. Francois hesitated a little. "... I know that Frederic will never be my successor. Although he continues to improve thanks to your help, he'll never be able to lead such a big company." He gave a short laugh. "And that my daughter will ever find a husband with her attitude towards life, I doubt. Therefore I can expect no successor, too."

Amazed and disconcerted Adam looked at Frederic's father. "Don't look so surprised, Adam. You've got everything a good businessman needs. You'll have a good degree. You can move in the right circles without putting people's backs up, and you don't let yourself be put off. Nevertheless, you've got the farsightedness to listen to the opinion and advice of others. Take another ten years then it won't be easy to do business with you. Even now it's hard to see through you." Adam still didn't know what to say. "Adam, I think I've never seen you speechless for the whole time. Perhaps you think it over after all and consider to stay here. I had intended to eventually withdraw from business and to make you and Frederic equal partners."

Adam took a deep breath. "Yes, Mr. Francois, I am speechless. I mean, how can you present me such an offer after such a short time? You don't know how my friendship with Frederic might develop."

"Of course I don't know. That's why I wanted to have you in my company. So I could have observed, if all worked out as I intended."

Adam looked at the construction site in front of him. Mr. Francois' offer was of course very tempting, but he'd have to stay in Boston which he didn't want. He looked back at Mr. Francois. "You won't expect an answer of me now?"

Frederic's father put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "No. Then I'd be disappointed by you. Because then you have lied to me all the time. Then you'd just go for the money."

Mr. Francois was about to leave when he stopped again. "Adam, I'd be delighted if you could accompany Frederic for dinner at our home next Sunday."

"I will consider it, Mr. Francois."

Frederic's father slapped him lightly on the back and left the site.

XXXXXX

It was a sunny day. Few clouds were in the sky. Adam climbed down the rocks, went briefly to the edge, then sat down at the rock face and looked at the sea. If he was here today, he also could try to find the silence deep in him. So he closed his eyes taking a deep breath. It didn't take long and the noises around him disappeared, and he only heard his heartbeat.

When he opened his eyes again after some time, he was glad that there was still this harmony in his soul. The balance of body, mind and spirit he hadn't lost again since last year. Then he suddenly stopped breathing. He felt he was no longer alone on the rocky plateau. Slowly he turned his head to the right. There was Bridget leaning against a rock and smiling at him. "I didn't mean to disturb you, but I was afraid that exactly this would happen if I go up again."

"You're not bothering me. I'm also done with ... thinking."

She sat next to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Happy Birthday, Adam." He smiled briefly and then looked back to the sea. "Frederic told me why you don't spend this day at home. So I thought, maybe I'll find you here." He kept looking at the sea and didn't answer. "I just wanted to wish you all the best. I won't disturb you any longer."

Bridget was about to get up when Adam held her by the arm looking at her. "No. Please stay. I'm glad that you're here. Just because I don't like to spend the day at home, it doesn't mean that I don't like to see anybody."

She sat back down on the ground. "I've got a little gift for you. May I give you that?"

"I won't fight against it."

Bridget took a sketchpad out of her bag. She opened it and gave it to Adam. Adam looked at the drawing and smiling, he stroked gently with his hand over it. "Frederic told me how important the Indians are to you." She looked with him at the drawing. "I've never seen an Indian village, but maybe the village at your home looks more or less like that."

"It's already very close to the village of the Gosiute."

Bridget pointed to a young Indian. "As I don't know how Koko looks, I've drawn her only from behind. Maybe I was good in meeting reality a little."

Still smiling, he looked at Bridget. "The dark hair matches, but Koko doesn't always wear the clothing of the Indians."

"I always thought all Indians wore these clothes."

"Koko's only half Indian. Her mother's a white woman and her father's the chief's son. And they don't live in the village but on a farm."

"Of Indians I know next to nothing. Although we also have some Indian tribes in the area, I was never in their villages. They are said to be not very friendly towards white, and that there are Indians who live on a farm, I haven't heard yet."

"Koko's parents wanted Koko to get to know both worlds, so when she's done with school, she could decide in which she wants to live."

At the next question Bridget looked down. "And where you will live later? On the farm or in the village?"

Questioning Adam looked at her. "You think Koko and I?"

"Well, I thought, if you're back at home, you'll get married soon. Given how much you miss her."

Adam looked at the drawing. "Yes, I miss her. Very much indeed, but we won't get married."

"Why not? Indians marry, too, don't they?"

"Though our hearts beat in the same rhythm, it's not the rhythm of love."

Bridget didn't understand a word of what Adam told her, and he had to laugh. "Please forgive me Bridget, but my father looks at me the same way, when he doesn't understand what I want to tell him."

Shortly Adam thought how he could explain his relationship with Koko in a different way. "I love Koko in a way that I cannot really describe in words. Her father once had said, our souls are in love."

He could see that she was still looking at him blankly. Then he thought for a moment. He trusted her already as he trusted Koko. "If you're interested I can tell you how I met Koko, and why her family means so much to me."

Bridget nodded. She really wanted to hear. She didn't know why, but something about the way Adam spoke about Koko, she didn't feel so jealous any more, even if she didn't understand how the relationship between the two was.

Then Adam began to tell how they had arrived in Nevada, and he and Koko became friends. He also told her how Amarok began to teach him the Indian way of life, and how much this wisdom had helped him in recent years increasingly. How important they were to him when his father went away, and he was in charge of the ranch. And for the first time he spoke with an outsider about the Kohuana. Of course, he didn't talk about the details, but it was important for him that Bridget knew not every Indian tribe was peaceful. Also he told her about the problems Koko and he had with Buck and Mitch. In the end Adam hoped that he could bring her closer that Koko and her home were his second family for him, and how it looked like living in Nevada. She said nothing, when he had finished. Both looked to the sea as the sun slowly disappeared on the horizon. Then Bridget exhaled and spoke very softly to him. His words had made her thoughtful.

"Adam, even if you say that people here in Boston are superficial and don't care about the others, shouldn't you still feel more comfortable here? When I listen to you, there might be more cooperation but also more violence at your home. I'm still a little shocked when I think about Mitch and his friend, for example." She looked at him with a doubtful look. "Adam, you were just kids when the two went off with a knife on you."

"This is my world, Bridget, and it's completely different than yours. Maybe there are people from my world that could live here, but I cannot. The city restricts me. I need the freedoms that I have at my home and the people there. I'd never be happy here. I'm sorry, if I can't say it so clearly, but I'm counting the days until my studies come to an end. I firmly believe that no one from here, and certainly not a woman, can live in my world. As I told you back then by the campfire, regardless of the weather, the animals must be taken care of. No one will come along and bring the wood for the stove. We need to do it all by ourselves, and if the ranchers are at the cattle drive in summer for weeks, the women have to cope alone at home. They aren't to be afraid to use a gun."

They fell silent again, each lost in their own thoughts. "Thank you for trying to bring your world closer to me. Now I understand a little, why you want to go home again, and what Koko means to you. Family seems to be very important to you, and freedom of nature you apparently need like others need the air to breathe."

He took her hand. "I hope my story didn't change your good mood, you had."

The beams in her eyes, which he liked so much, slowly got back. "No. You made me just a little thoughtful." Her eyes went back to the water. "But I think we should go now, before the sun has completely gone and it turns cold."

She grabbed her things and Adam helped her to her feet.

"Tell me ... how many times do I have to invite you to dinner?"

She grinned at him. "Four times."

"Then I would like to settle a part of my debt today, if you like."

"But only if you tell me something about your brothers. About them you've almost hardly talked."

"I didn't want to shock you even more."

She slapped him at the arm. "You're impossible."

"I know, but you're going to dinner with me anyway."

"But just because today's your birthday, and that's the only reason I'm nice to you."

He just looked at her with a smile. When they were back up on the way, Adam offered his arm to Bridget and she linked arms with him. They then went back to the city.


	36. Chapter 36

Adam let his pen drop on the table, leaned back and rubbed his eyes. Tomorrow was the last exam of this semester. After that he would enjoy a few days of summer, before he had to go back to Mr. Graham's office. He looked at the clock and wondered where Frederic was so long. He also wanted to look into the books again. Adam was just wondering if he should make a fresh coffee when the door flung open and a hectic Frederic rushed into the house.

Adam's friend went silently cursing back and forth between living room and kitchen, Adam following him with his eyes. "Will you tell me what's the cause of the storm in your heart?"

Frederic stopped in front of Adam. His hair was disheveled and his voice cracked with stress. "Adam, this isn't a storm, that's an arrant hurricane!"

Frederic went back to the kitchen. Adam leaned forward. "I assume that Giovanna is expecting a baby."

His friend stopped abruptly. "How did you know?"

"There can be only two reasons why you're so upset. Either you've emptied your father's account or Giovanna's expecting a baby. As you still stand here and aren't with a clipper on the way to France, only the second reason comes into consideration."

Frederic looked at Adam angrily. "Can you please stop being so arrogant?"

Adam got up and went to his friend. "You needn't to be angry with me, because you've got a problem with which you don't seem to be happy about."

Frederic looked at Adam briefly, then went into the living room and dropped into a chair, only to get up again after a short time. "Adam, tell me please, what should I do now."

"Why should I do that? You haven't listened to what I told you in January."

"Yes, exactly Adam, that's exactly what I need right now! That you treat me like my father and give the moralizer."

Adam crossed his arms. "Frederic, I won't treat you like your father, but I told you that you have to be sure with Giovanna. That you mustn't use her, and as it looks like you didn't take my advice."

With one step Frederic was next to Adam and glared at him. "Stop it, Adam! I've known you for quite a long time, and I've seen more than once that you don't leave out any opportunity."

Motionless Adam stood in front of Frederic. "But I also know my limits."

"Of course, you've got everything under control." Frederic tapped his forehead. "That's nonsense! You can't tell me that you don't want to have your fun sometimes."

Adam took a deep breath. "Which I surely don't have with one of the girls with whom we were out. For this I look somewhere else, but this isn't the subject right now."

Frederic's gaze hadn't changed. "I doubt if you'll have fun doing it. Then you'd have to lose control at least some times."

„FREDERIC …!"

Frederic ran his fingers through his hair and went back into the living room. "Pardon me, Adam. I'm so sorry ... but I really don't know what to do."

Adam followed his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. "Frederic, it's not quite clear to me why you have to ask? You're responsible for the consequences of your actions!"

Adam's friend put his hand over his eyes. "Why such a thing happens to me and not to you?"

"We already covered that topic …. Frederic, what are you afraid of?"

"Adam, you know that perfectly well. My father will be furious. He will throw me out of the house and disinherit me."

"I just wonder, what's more important. Your father or Giovanna? I've assumed that your feelings for her are real. Or did you play a game with her?"

Frederic sat down on the chair. "Yes ... I mean, no ... well ..." He took a deep breath. "Yes, I love her. I haven't played with her feelings, but I would have liked to prepare my father slowly and then marry Giovanna after our graduation. I still don't know how he will react. If he throws me out, would it have been best if I had sought employment elsewhere?" He looked at Adam directly. "If I tell him now, he will throw me out and I'm left with nothing."

Adam leaned on the chair, opposite to Frederic. "You've got two options. Either you solve your problem as most of your friends would do and bid Giovanna enough money so she disappears of your life. Or you grow up and begin to live your own life, without your father." Adam paused. "But one thing I'll tell you. If you choose the first option, then you will be thrown out of MY house, and I'll forget that you're my friend."

Frederic looked at him with horror in his eyes. "I won't offer her no money, of course. But I don't know how to make ends meet for us without my father."

"Frederic, there is a solution for every problem. If you don't see any solution, the problem is with you."

Frederic was astonished. He didn't understand what Adam meant. "Yes, I see no solution, but I also don't see why I should be the problem? It's my father."

"Frederic, what should be your first thought?" As Adam got no answer, he pushed away from the chair and walked toward the kitchen. "Then I assume that you don't really love Giovanna."

Frederic jumped up from the armchair and followed Adam. "Of course I love her! What are you up to, Adam?"

"Then I ask you, why are you more concerned about your father than about Giovanna? Where is she, anyway? Shouldn't you be with her now?"

"She's down at the beach near the fishing village."

"She's WHAT?" Adam looked at him in disbelief. "Frederic, you don't want to tell me she has just explained to you the whole situation on the beach, and you've left her there right?"

Frederic hung his head and nodded. Adam put his hands on the side and looked at the ceiling. As he didn't want to shoot off any thoughtless arrows, he tried to come back to balance. After a while he looked back at his friend. With neutral voice he spoke to Frederic. "Frederic, if you don't grow up right away, I really will throw you out of the house."

Frederic raised his head. "Adam, please help me. I just want to have a future with her, but how should I do it all alone?"

"You're not alone ... there's Giovanna and her family. There's your sister, and I'm there for you, too. But you have to finally free yourself from your father. You will become a father yourself and your first step should be to look for Giovanna to tell her that you stand by her and the baby - and that right now."

"And what do I tell her? Where should we live after the wedding? Where can I get another job? Can I continue my studies at all? Can I ….."

Adam put his hands on Frederic's shoulders. "Step by step. Now go and find her. Then you come back with her and we discuss how to proceed. And, Frederic ... you can live here till we've got our degree. The house is big enough."

With a loud sigh, Frederic turned straight. "Thank you, Adam. For everything."

"Now go and find her."

Frederic left the house and Adam returned to the living room. His gaze fell on the table with his documents and books. Adam was sure it would be a very short night for him, because he didn't have the calm at the moment, to study for the exam. He was about to go back into the kitchen to prepare some coffee for Giovanna and Frederic when he wondered who should be part of the later conversation, too. So Adam left the house to find Bridget.

XXXXX

Adam closed the door behind his friend. The four had been sitting together for almost two hours and talked about how it should go on with Giovanna and Frederic. Frederic had accepted Adam's offer, to live with Giovanna in the house till they had been awarded their degrees. If while studying Frederic's money might not be enough, Adam would do without the rent. But that he should finish his studies, everyone agreed. The two years they'd manage together and there would be still Giovanna's family supporting them. Since the wedding was to take place within the next two weeks, Frederic had decided to talk with his father today. With a very queasy feeling he set off.

Adam looked up the stairs. Giovanna was lying down after having talked. She has still been at the end of her tether, because Frederic had just left her on the beach. He wondered how Frederic managed repeatedly to plunge in such a mess. What would become of him when Adam returned to Nevada? Adam's only hope was that his friend would at last learn to stand on his own during the next two years. His eyes fell back on the books. Adam didn't believe that he was able to take a look into before the exam. When Frederic returned from his father, he would surely desire to talk. There was no doubt that today Mr. Francois would be separated from his son. A woman from the working class district he certainly wouldn't accept as a daughter-in-law and certainly not her family, which was very temperamental.

Adam was about to put away his books when he heard the door above open and Bridget came down the stairs. He waited at the bottom of the stairs for her. "And, how is she?"

Bridget stayed at the last stage leaning against the wall. "Much better. She's just slightly done by the last few hours. I'm going to make her a cup of tea." She noticed how tired he looked. "Are you all right? You look quite done, too." She smiled slightly. "Do you already regret that you said they could live here? Giovanna's already worrying about it. She knows how much you like the silence and it won't be much quieter in the near future."

Leaning against the banister he shook his head. "She needn't to worry about it. Remember, I've got two little brothers and at home it was never silent, surely not, since Little Joe's around. No ... I'm more worried about what will be with Frederic, when I go back home. I mean, what he would have done if I hadn't given him a piece of my mind today? Would he then have admitted his responsibility?"

Bridget cocked her head slightly and smiled. "I do believe that he would have done in time."

"In time?"

"Don't look so shocked. And don't tell me first of all you wouldn't have to collect your thoughts, too."

"Of course not. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't need to think about what I'm going to do, and I certainly wouldn't just leave the girl at the beach."

Bridget smirked. Yes, that was true. How could she compare Adam with Frederic. He would react quite differently. Even if he wouldn't be thrilled, he'd never just leave his girlfriend desperate. That she had learned in the less than a year, since she knew Adam. Adam never acted headlong. If he brought a girl in such a situation, he'd stand by her side. With all the consequences. She looked at him lovingly and put her hand on his arm. "You know, Adam. I am a bit jealous. The woman who'll marry you is to envy. She gets a man on whom she always can rely on."

He looked at her from the corner of his eye, but said nothing. "Adam, please don't worry so much about Frederic. He must learn to get along without you. My brother has to grow up, right now. You cannot constantly feel responsible for the nonsense he's up to."

Adam crossed his arms. "Will you just tell me, am I just as bad as your father?"

"My goodness, no, but you're worrying to much about him! Even if he is your best friend here in Boston, you cannot protect him from all vices. Be there for him. But if he falls flat on his face, he must learn to stand up alone."

Adam grinned slightly. "I'm trying to improve myself."

"We will see. You're apparently someone who always feels responsible for the people who are dear friends, but remember, some choices they've to make on their own." Bridget went down the last stage. "I'll go fix that cup of tea now."

Adam watched her as she went into the kitchen. They had barely seen each other in recent weeks, because Adam had to prepare so much for the exam, or he was in Mr. Graham's office. But his feelings for her hadn't changed. On the contrary. It became increasingly difficult for him, not to admit them, but just by her words right now, he had to get them under control again. Bridget had just made him understand clearly that she didn't see herself at his side, even if he had found a way to cope with his problem. Apart from the fact that he still didn't believe that she could live in his world. He closed his eyes, to bring the turmoil in his mind and in his heart back into balance. As he had calmed down, he looked at the fireplace. Slowly he went there and took the stone in his hand. "Koko, why aren't you here? You could sure give me some advice."

"ADAM ... YOU'RE TALKING ALOUD TO HER AGAIN."

Adam chuckled. He had asked Bridget to admonish him when she noticed that he talked with Koko too loudly. He didn't want others to think him to be strange, if they noticed.

After three hours, Frederic was still not at home, and Adam was getting nervous. Giovanna was asleep, and he had gone back down at the table to study for the exam, while Bridget was sitting in an armchair with a book in her hand. Again and again he looked at the clock. Bridget put the book aside. "Now I finally know how to get you out of the rest."

"And I don't know how you can stay so calm."

"He's my brother. I've known him all my life. No matter how the talk went. Now he'll sit somewhere and think about how bad he's off and that all others are to blame for his dilemma."

"I thought we are already beyond that point."

"You've never had a conversation with my father, when you've made a mistake. After that almost everyone feels bad." Adam looked back at the clock. "You'd like to go looking for him, wouldn't you?"

He slowly nodded. "Yes, I'd like to, but you've told me very clearly, I shouldn't feel responsible for everything."

"But I cannot watch you suffering. Make sure that you aren't at home late. My dear brother and Giovanna want to talk to her parents today."

She smiled when she saw how quickly he got up and left the house to find his friend.


	37. Chapter 37

It was a beautiful sunny late afternoon. Many people took advantage of the fine weather to go for a walk on the pier. Adam wondered where he could find his friend. He hoped, that Frederic hadn't fled in any bar to get drunk after talking with his father. Quite unaware Adam turned his head towards the water to have the light wind blowing in his face. Just as he was again focused on the road ahead of him, he saw Frederic sitting on one of the bollards. His gaze was fixed on the sea. Adam slowly approached and sat down on the next bollard. Unsuccessful, he waited to see if his friend was to start the conversation. "Was it that bad, Frederic?"

His friend laughed softly. "You only know my father at the office or from the few Sunday dinners at home." He looked at Adam. "I doubt that he would ever talk to you like he talked to me. You're the son that my father has always wanted."

Adam sat up straight and looked Frederic indignantly. "Frederic, this isn't true, and you know it."

Frederic laughed again. "Of course, that's the truth. Since I'm friends with you, I have to listen how talented and responsible you are. And of your sense of purpose, I don't even want to talk. Today, I had to listen in that to you, the matter with Giovanna certainly wouldn't have happened." With a slight smile Frederic continued. "Adam, do you think I don't know what my father has offered to you? He told me quite early." Frederic took a deep breath. "I'm neither mad nor jealous of you, Adam. You are the way you are, and that's just the way I like you. And that my father would rather see you in the management later than me, I can understand. I know exactly what I can do and can't. I've never seen myself as his successor."

Slightly shaking his head Adam looked at the water. "Frederic, I never wanted to be in competition with you. Your father is a tough businessman. I couldn't work with him. Because anyone who doesn't share his opinion, gets quickly kicked out of his payroll."

"Oh no, my friend. You can - for whatever reason - take a lot of liberties. He also thinks exactly about what you're telling him. I've noticed many of your talks in the office. I know hardly anyone who can give him a piece of their mind." Frederic paused. "It looks like your Nevada charm works for our entire family."

"Frederic believe me. It was never my intention to drive a wedge between your father and you. If I had known that he constantly compares you with me, I would have searched for another job quite earlier. But ..." he looked at his friend seriously. "... that he has kicked you out now, has nothing to do with me. Your problems with each other have started long before my time."

Now Frederic laughed out loud. "Adam, he hasn't kicked me out, and even this was thanks to you."

„Pardon?"

"Adam, you needn't to be so surprised. I lost count already how many times you saved my hide. Of course I had to listen once again how disappointed he is with me, and that he really didn't expect anything else from someone who hasn't got his life under control. After we had shouted at each other, I told him that I'm not depending on him. I explained to my father how future with Giovanna will look like, and that I won't need his money." With his foot he kicked a stone into water, then looked up at Adam. "My father looked at me with big eyes. Then he went to the window and looked into the garden. I was about to leave because he didn't say anything. But then he suddenly turned around and said he would like to go to the park with me to talk calmly about my future plans."

Adam couldn't hide his surprise. "You're joshing?"

"No, I don't. He was impressed that I, as he said, stand by my mistakes and think about how to go on. He wouldn't have expected so much farsightedness of me." Frederic looked at Adam directly. "Adam, I don't want my life to be such a mess. I can't rely on you forever getting things fixed for me. During our talk in the park I said so to my father, too. And that I hadn't known how to go on without you. Although I told him the truth, he kept on listening to me."

Frederic got up and walked along the quay. He stopped next to Adam. "Adam, I've to get along not only without my father, but without you as well."

Adam laughed. "Are you throwing me out of my house?"

"That would be a consideration. No, but I'll stop working with my father and look for another job. After we graduated I'll start my own office. If I blow it, I'm the only one to blame, and Adam ..." Adam stood up slowly. "I ... don't want you to wake me in the morning. If I don't get up in time, I am responsible, not you, and if I shouldn't have enough money for the rent, then I just have to work even more while studying."

With arms crossed Adam looked at his friend. "Can you tell me what has happened to you in the park?"

"Can we take a little walk?" Adam nodded. "Already on the way to my father I've realized quite a bit. All my life I've always relied on others. Today when we sat with you in the living room, I felt like a little kid. Giovanna, my sister and you, you all master your life without any problems.

Adam, you're thousands of miles away from home and settle everything by yourself, and I'm not even able to get out of bed in time in the morning. It can't go on this way, and certainly not if I'm going to have my own family. It's time to take responsibility."

"And your father? I still cannot believe that he accepted Giovanna as daughter-in-law."

"He isn't enthusiastic. But as he said, a Francois always assumes responsibility. And if she's also friends with you, she must be quite reasonable."

Adam kept Frederic by the arm and stopped. "He didn't really say that?"

"No, but I love to see your shocked face. He told me that he has become aware that - if he stays blind to the essence of life - he'll lose his children, and he doesn't want that. Although I haven't understood a word, the only important for me was that he

gives us his blessings. So don't plan anything else for Friday next week. I want you to be my best man."

"Next week already? I thought the wedding wasn't to take place but in two weeks?"

"Adam, I now make my own decisions."

"Well I'm quite curious. But today your father has already surprised me, so why not you."

They went back to the house and soon after, Frederic and Giovanna made their way to her parents.

Bridget and Adam went out for dinner, then Adam took her home. Both were standing in front of her parents' big house. "Adam, do you want to tell me what's still bothering you?" Before he could answer, she raised her hand. "Don't you dare say that there's nothing. I know you very well already and if you've got that look, it tells me that there's something that bothers you."

His eyes looked at her tenderly. "I don't know if that's so good right now." His gaze went briefly to the stars in the sky and then back to her. "Frederic's decision to let the wedding take place already next week, mixes up my plans a bit. I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I really wanted to ride to the valley outside Boston for a few days."

"The valley, of which you have told me? There, where you always want to find to yourself?"

"Yes exactly. Not that I need it necessarily, but I'd have liked to go there."

"Then don't change your plans . You'd be back in time."

"Bridget, I just can't leave right now. There's so much to be prepared."

She put her hand on his heart, as she had done at their first dance lesson. "You shouldn't constantly feel responsible for everything. Just think to yourself now. I know how important peace is for you and consider how exhausting these last weeks were for you. You can tell that you're tired and done." She paused briefly. "Adam, you once told me about the two wolves in your heart. I never want to know the wrong wolf, so don't let it come so far. Go to your valley and find your peace."

Adam looked at her bright green eyes in which he could lose himself. They reminded him of a meadow in spring, on which the sun shone on the morning dew and made everything sparkle. He noticed, as he lost control of his emotions little by little. Should he just admit them and see what would happen? Both said nothing. They looked only deep in the eyes. Around them all that could be heard was the gentle rustle of the wind in the leaves of the trees. Adam gently stroked a strand of hair out of her face, then he approached her slowly. Suddenly the images of Nevada were back in his head, and the voice of reason answered back loudly. No way he wanted to start something that had no future. He mustn't be so selfish to take her into a strange world. He'd never tolerate that she was unhappy or that something might happen to her. And both would certainly happen in Nevada.

So he changed his mind at the last second and gave her a kiss on the forehead. „Bridget, the man you're going to marry one day, will be a real lucky one. You've such a big heart and you're always concerned about the welfare of others before you think of yourself." Adam took a deep breath and a step back. "I'm back on Wednesday. Good night, Bridget."

In a low voice she bade him good night and watched as he left the property of her parents. Her voice was just a whisper and tears ran down her face. "Adam, why don't you give us a chance? Why are you so afraid of a future together?" Bridget looked up at the stars. "I don't know you, Koko, but I think if you were here with him, you could take this fear away." She wiped the tears from her face and laughed despite the pain in her heart. Now even she began to talk to Koko. Bridget looked again down the road and then went into the house.

XXXXX

Adam returned on Wednesday evening and threw his saddlebag on the settee. He stretched, wondering what to do first. Going upstairs and freshen up or just preparing something to eat in the kitchen. "Hello Adam."

Adam looked toward the stairs, where Frederic stood, looking him up and down. "I hope, on Friday you'll look a mite better."

Adam's eyes went down and then grinned at Frederic. „Well, I don't know exactely what you mean? You don't like the colour?"

Laughing Frederic came downstairs. "And? Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes, I did. And it was good that I went there. Only then I realized how necessary it was."

Yes, it had been really necessary for Adam. Especially after what almost had happened at Bridget's house. Again there would be two difficult years ahead of him. He'd never thought that one day he would have such feelings for a woman. Although Adam still didn't know how two hearts beat with the same rhythm, however his heart was beating definitely for Bridget. It had cost him many hours in the valley, until he had regained his balance. If he was once back on the Ponderosa, it would certainly be easier, since he wouldn't see her any longer. With the months she would certainly leave his heart again.

"Then you're rested for tomorrow and Friday?"

„Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow will be a little celebration at Giovanna's."

Adam had to laugh. 'Celebration' and 'little' in combination with Giovanna's family looked very special. 'Little' only meant that the rest of the family from Italy didn't come to pay a visit. "And when will the little celebration take place?"

"In the afternoon. Giovanna and Bridget have been preparing everything since Monday. I guess there will be so much to eat that I will no longer fit in my suit on Friday."

"I've more concern that you won't be back on your feet in time on Friday."

"For that Giovanna's brother will take care. You have no idea what he has promised me if I don't marry his sister on Friday."

Frederic slapped his friend on the back and then looked at his dusty hands. "Adam, go up and turn into a human being again - please!" Frederic went to the front door and turned to Adam again before opening. "Oh Adam, what I've wanted to say for some time ... you needn't restrain yourself. I don't mind any longer."

"I dont know what you mean."

Frederic grinned broadly. "Well, you and Bridget. I noticed quite well, how you look at her time and again. It's no problem for me any longer. Maybe then you'll stay here, and if you ask me nicely, I'll put you on my payroll later."

Very briefly Adam's eyes closed, so that the stitch in his heart could not intensify. "Frederic, my plans haven't changed. I'll go back to Nevada, alone."

Frederic opened the door. "Too bad. I really thought you'd felt more than friendship for her. See you, buddy."

Frederic closed the door behind. Without moving Adam stood at the stairs for some time, his head down and hand over his eyes.

XXXXX

Adam stood before the altar and cursed his friend. Why this wedding had to take place in the mid of summer? He put his hand into the collar. Most of all he would have liked to take off his jacket. "What's wrong, Adam? I got to be nervous, not you."

"It's hot in here, Frederic. Why couldn't you marry outdoors?"

Frederic shrugged. " I don't know. We hadn't taken it into consideration. You can do better at your wedding."

"I'll do that. Definitely."

Bridget joined the two friends. "And Frederic, are you ready? It will start soon."

Frederic's eyes switch between Adam and Bridget back. "I think I'm going to get nervous."

"Brother, now it's too late to back down. Pietro is standing at the exit keeping an eye on you."

Right away Frederic's eyes shot at the exit, where Giovanna's brother stood waving to him. Bridget and Adam couldn't help but grin. Frederic was pacing in front of the altar, and Adam turned to Bridget. Very quietly he said, "Did I already tell you how wonderful you look today?"

Bridget looked down and felt herself blushing slightly. Before she could give him an answer, the wedding started.

Just as Adam was the best man of Frederic, Bridget was the maid of honor for Giovanna, and throughout the ceremony Bridget felt, how she wandered off with her thoughts. Whether she would stand one day with Adam before the altar after all? She looked at Adam. No. She couldn't imagine anything that might change his mind, so that he'd take her to Nevada with him. She knew what she was doing now was kind of childish, but she couldn't resist. As the all-important question came she looked at Adam and in her head she said ... 'Yes I will'. But she immediately lowered her eyes, as Adam looked at her right in this moment.

XXXXXX

The party took place in the garden of Frederic's parents. Adam stood a little apart leaning against a tree looking with a smile on how the children were playing tag on the lawn.

"May I disturb you?"

Mr. Francois stood beside him with two glasses in hand. Adam stood up straight. "Of course, Mr. Francois."

„Brandy?"

Thanking him Adam took the glass. They toasted and took a sip. "Adam, you're somehow annoying me."

He looked to the lawn. "And you've surprised me."

Frederic's father was still looking at the children playing. "What else could I do? I had no choice but to accept it or lose him." He looked at Adam. "Even if I've got problems with my children's attitudes, they always remain my children, and my life would be worthless, if I lost them." He laughed. "You will also understand if you yourself have children one day. They get on my nerves, but no matter what happens, they always remain my flesh and blood, and I'd do everything to ensure that they are doing well."

"Don't you worry, Mr. Francois. With Giovanna Frederic has made a good choice."

"Even though I never thought that I would ever say that about a woman from the working class district, I also think that she's the right one for him." Mr. Francois looked back on the lawn. "Adam, did you think about my offer?"

Adam took another sip from his glass. "Even on the wedding day of your son you try?"

"For sure. Especially at such events, the best business is done." Frederic's father looked at him from the side. "I should actually be mad at you." Adam just raised an eyebrow. "I have noticed a few moments ago that you had a talk with my wife in French. You've never told me that you speak my native language."

"You never asked me."

"Then I ask you now."

"Didn't you once tell me you know everything about me?"

"The way it looks, my information wasn't so sufficient."

A slight smile crossed Adam's face. Frederic had been right. He could really talk with Frederics's father in a way only a few in the company would do. "The last wife of my father came from New Orleans. With her help I got access to the language."

"What else I should know about you? Do you speak even more languages?"

Adam emptied his glass. "The most important thing that you should know is that I refuse your offer with thanks. In two years I'll go definitely back to Nevada."

He took the empty glass from Adam. "Well. Then I'll let this subject rest for the moment, but I cannot promise that I won't ask again in a few years."

"We will see what will happen in the next few years."

Frederic's father looked back into his garden and went to the other guests, shaking his head.

It was getting dark, and Adam sat next to Bridget on a bench in the garden. "Getting married can be exhausting."

Bridget leaned against him. "But only for the guests."

"What will you actually do when Giovanna cannot help at school any more?"

She sat down straight again. "Oh, I haven't told you. I've followed your advice and wrote a letter to the leaders of the school council, if they won't be willing to officially accept our school, so that the children wouldn't have to go to the city to school."

"Let me guess? They were of course thrilled that they were able to solve a problem with money again."

"Yes, but in this case I'm delighted by the superficiality of cute Boston society. I can get a real teacher to teach at our school."

Adam turned to the side and looked at Bridget. "And what will become of you? You won't stop supporting the school?"

"No way. I'll continue to have a look at it and see that I can help the new teacher at work."

Adam thought for a moment. "Bridget, have you ever thought about being a real teacher? You were having fun at work. Why don't you make it your job?"

Bridget held her hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing out loud. "Adam, the women in my circles have no profession, and my father has to cope with way enough at the moment. If I tell him right now, I'm going to be a teacher that will be too much for him."

"Have you ever thought about what your father says, what you are doing all day long?"

„Adam, that won't work!"

"But still, it will, and believe me, even with that your father might cope with."

Bridget watched the other guests on the dance floor and thought about Adam's words. After a while, she smiled at him. "I'll seriously think about. Promised."

"All right." Adam stood up and took her hand. "And now, Bridget, I need another dance lesson. I've to see if I've forgotten most of it again."

She linked her arm through his and walked with him to the dance floor. "As if you'd ever forget something."


	38. Chapter 38

The moment he heard the thunder, he knew it was too late, and Adam had been right. Frederic raised his head and saw the half-finished building collapsing, then the ground beneath him gave way. Due to all the rain of the last four days the earth was so soaked that he couldn't find support. He desperately flailed his arms, but he had no chance. He fell to the ground and was carried away by the mud and rubble.

After almost no time Frederic had lost direction and didn't know where was up or down. As suddenly as the whole had begun, it was already over. He was so afraid that the earth under him would start moving again, that he hardly dared to breathe. Only when he had somewhat recovered from the shock, he carefully opened his eyes. Around him everything was dark. He lay on his belly. His head was turned to the side. Slowly, he tried to get up. However, he wasn't able for more than to lift his shoulders a little. Something was lying on his back and on his legs. When he tried to move his arms, he cried out loud. The way his right arm felt, it was certainly broken. After the pain subsided a bit, he moved his left arm carefully up and groped his surroundings.

As far as Frederic could tell after a few minutes, around him was only wet, cold earth and ... darkness. Panic crept through his body. His breathing was hectic. He tried to fight it - to no avail. Only when he tried to get up in his panic and he almost blacked out because of pain, he tried to calm down. A while he stayed lying with eyes closed, without thinking of anything. He only felt the cold earth on his cheek and how the wetness spread throughout his clothes. Whether his trembling resulted by cold or by shock, he couldn't tell. Anyway it was almost unbearable. Again panic seemed to take over, but this time he could keep it down successfully. Since he couldn't see anything, he concentrated on what sounds were around him. During another panic attack he closed his eyes. Besides the darkness there was only ... absolute silence. He laughed in panic. At this moment how he could only think that Adam certainly would like this place. Now Frederic could even less understand that his friend deliberately sought this condition. He hated this silence ...

If he could hear no one, no one would probably look for him. Under how many tons of earth and rubble he might have been buried? Had anyone at all survived this accident on the construction site? Would they look for him, or did the situation seem to be so hopeless that they wouldn't even try? Frederic clenched his fist and cursed under his breath. Why hadn't he listened to Adam? Why did he believe his father? He knew his friend long enough to know that Adam would never tell him anything wrong, just to get a better assessment in the final project. But no, again he had been convinced by his father. Frederic still saw Adam's shocked face before his very eyes when he told him that he would remain in his father's company till the end of the third year and supervise the construction of the new official residence of the governor. This should then be his final work. With arms akimbo, Adam had asked him whether the governor had searched for a different location for the house. As Frederic denied, Adam had tried to convince him desperately to keep his hands off because of the slope and all the changes that the governor wanted to have there, which would make the project insecure. Adam had told Frederic's father the very same before his departure. But Frederic had swept all doubts aside and his father believed that too many factors have to coincide, to make what Adam predicted happen. Frederic had - like his father - thought that Adam once again wanted to prevent too much change in nature, as he might resist any kind of progress.

It was the first great argument between him and Adam, and until now they had never talked again about this subject. If it hadn't been for Giovanna and Bridget, he wouldn't have known whether this project would have marked the end of their friendship. Frederic hadn't even asked his advice, even though he would have needed it one or two times.

Since Frederic's eyes closed time and again, he soon lost sense of time. But as he realized no problems with air it could have been that he wasn't buried completely. Again he held his breath to hear whether someone was looking for him. No, there wasn't a sound. Was this the end? Would he die here under the earth? Frederic thought of Giovanna and Riccardo. His son would be three months old in a few days. With a smile he remembered the moment when he had held him for the first time in his life. That day his life had changed. Many things have been unimportant a sudden. There was only his own little family. Even the dispute with Adam was forgotten and for him there was no question that his friend should be the godfather of his son. Now he was glad that he had made this decision. Adam definitely would take care of his wife and Riccardo. This thought made it easier for him to come to terms with death. His body was shaking more and more, thereby the pain in his arm increased again. Again he lost consciousness.

XXXXXX

Adam was quite pleased how the work proceeded on the construction site. Although there has been a lot of rain for the beginning of March, they were still well on schedule. With any luck they would be ready by the end of the year, and he might still be here at the opening of the municipal library.

He had spoken briefly with a colleague from the office as well as the site manager and now wanted to hurry home to comfortably sit down in front of the fireplace. Yesterday a new letter of Koko arrived, which he absolutely wanted to read today. Adam was just about to leave the site when he noticed some workers standing together and watching with shocked look in one direction. With a few steps he was with them and asked what had happened. Involuntarily he held his breath when he heard what had happened at the site of the govenor's headquarters. Without even hesitating for a second he was on his way to the accident site.

Once there, he could see a picture of horror. Panicked people ran back and forth on the edge of the slope. At the site various onlookers had gathered despite the rain and looked at the masses of debris and soil. The whole building had collapsed and slid down the slope. Adam ran to Frederic's father, who was standing at the edge of the accident area and talked with some men, who set out to run up the slope shortly afterwards.

"Mr. Francois ..."

Frederic's father turned to Adam. His eyes reflected the entire horror. His face was pale with fright. "Adam ... Frederic ..."

Mr. Francois didn't need to keep on talking. Adam instantly knew that his friend had to be somewhere among the masses of earth. "Where was Frederic, when the accident happened?"

Frederic's father shrugged. "I ... I don't know exactly. I ..." He took a deep breath, "... I think he was up at the house. One of the workers spoke with him shortly before the accident, as Frederic told him that he wanted to go up again." He paused again. "Adam, in addition to Frederic we miss twelve other men."

Adam only looked at his friend's father. Because even if he was on the point of saying an appropriate remark, he managed to keep down any thoughtless arrows and simply swallowed. He wondered where his friend could be located. He looked at the spot on the slope on which the house had once been. If Frederic had stood in front of the building, it could be that his fall with the rubble had been stopped on half way down by a group of trees. Without further talking to Mr. Francois, Adam carefully made his way up. Just as the other helpers, he was aware of the danger he exposed himself to. In another landslide he could be buried under the earth masses, too. Step by step he cautiously approached the group of trees and looked around. Where should he start? What if he was wrong, and Frederic was in a completely different place, and he only would waste his time here? Adam knelt down, closed his eyes, touched the wet earth, and let the calmness spread. He pushed all unnecessary thoughts aside until he could only concentrate on essentials.

Again he looked at the spot where a few hours before the house had been standing. With his eyes he followed the trail the sodden earth, the rubble and the stone masses of the house had left. There were only two options left, where his friend could be located. Either here in the rubble masses at the tree or further down at the slope end. There they already searched for the missing.

The rain increased again. With the back of the hand, Adam wiped his eyes, but the view didn't get any better. He pulled off his jacket and began to remove the mountain of debris before him brick by brick. Within no time his clothes were soaked and filthy. But he wouldn't give up until he had found his friend, even if it took days. He could never look into Giovanna's eyes and tell her that he had given up. Soon Adam had no feeling left in his hands due to the cold, but he didn't stop to push aside earth and stones. When his strength left and the movements became more and more slowly, he got help from two workers of the construction site. One handed him a water bottle from which Adam took a big gulp. Then he looked at the men. "Has anyone been found below?"

The two looked on the ground affected. "So far, three deaths were discovered among the masses."

Adam stopped breathing. "Mr. Francois' son?"

One shook his head. "No. He wasn't among them."

Adam put the bottle aside and continued with the search for his friend.

It was already late afternoon when one of the men suddenly cried out. "I think we've found a cavity ..."

Adam, who was on the other side of the mountain of rubble wanted to jump with a big leap over the earth masses. He lost his footing and slid on the belly a few yards down the slope. Ignoring the pain, he climbed on all fours back up to the two men. And in fact there was a small cavity. Carefully they uncovered it. Then they saw a hand under all the mud. Although Adam would have preferred to pull out the body as fast as possible, the three men worked on carefully. The ground was so soft and loose that one false move would have brought the whole piles of rubble to collapse. Then the cavity would have been destroyed. After what seemed to be an eternity, they were able to free the man from the earth masses. Adam needed only one glance to see that the man was dead and it wasn't Frederic. On his knees Adam looked into the cavity.

"Do you think someone could be still in there?"

Adam looked at the man beside him. "We'll see."

The man grabbed Adam's shoulder. "You don't intend to go in there?"

Adam gave him no answer, but crept into the cavity on his belly.

Soon he could only slowly move forward and had to rely on his instincts. Up was barely room. Again and again his back scraped along the stones. Left and right was just space enough for rotating now and then and searching the ceiling. So he pulled on and on and examined the surroundings with his hands. He knew how futile the whole thing actually was. After a while he felt in front of him only a wall of stone and earth. In desperation he dropped his head on the wet grounds.

"Frederic, spare us from this!"

Frederic raised his head slightly. Hadn't he heard Adam's voice? He listened into the darkness. No, there was nothing. This way it started. He would slowly lose his mind. Now he heard voices, and soon he would certainly see things that didn't exist. His voice was but a croak.

"Adam, it would be a good time to get me out of here right now."

Adam raised his head slightly. Hadn't there been a noise? Was the desire to find Frederic so great that he already imagined to hear his voice?

"Frederic?"

Adam groped again the environment and paused. There it was again, that noise. It was not a call. It was more a ... gurgling and scratching. With his hands he slid over the floor and the walls. Just as Adam wanted to call his friend once again, soil fell from above onto his face. He choked and had to cough. He hit his head against a stone. Lack of room and swallowing caused his breathing to increase more and more. Panic spread through him. Everything in him screamed for crawling back to the exit. But then he heard a low voice, the voice of Amarok.

 _'If you find yourself in a hopeless situation and think, death is at your side, accept him or tell him you're not ready to unite your soul with the Great Spirit. He will listen to you and move on. Then open your eyes and find your way back.'_

Adam's breathing became calmer and the oppressive feeling of breathlessness abated. Then he heard it again, this gurgling noise. But this time he was sure that he heard his name. Adam turned to the left side and pulled further and further back. With both hands he stroked the wall in front of him. When he touched something soft, he opened his eyes startled. But as hard as Adam tried, he couldn't see anything. His hands groped further. Then he knew. He had found someone who was still alive.

"Frederic ... is that you?"

He could only hear a faint croak. Adam stroked along the wall in front of him. It felt like the body next to him was in another small cavity. On the back and the legs were stones and earth. Adam had left out apparently exactly the point of head and shoulders, as he had groped the wall the first time. Little by little he removed the stones, digging earth aside. Several times he had to take a break to gather new strength.

"We will get you right out of here, my friend."

Even if this man wasn't Frederic, Adam tried to encourage him. To crawl back to get help, wouldn't have made sense. There wasn't enough room for another man. And to try to remove the masses of earth from above, would certainly have taken hours. But Adam didn't want to leave the buried man down here for so long.

It took Adam ages to unearth the body in front of him so far that he could try to pull it out of the cavity. Still lying on his side, Adam first grabbed the man's legs and pulled them to the small passage on which he was. Then he pushed back slightly towards the exit and with a powerful jerk he moved out the rest of the body. The man in front of him cried out in pain. Adam knew he had found Frederic. Adam turned back on his belly. Relieved, he rested his forehead on his friend's head. Even his voice wasn't more than a whisper.

"Not much longer, then we're out of here. Hold on! ... But I've got to hurt you once again. I must turn you on your back. Otherwise I can't pull you out of here."

Adam could feel his friend nodding. Again Frederic cried out when Adam turned him on his back. "Frederic, where are you hurt?"

Adam put his head to side, trying to understand what his friend was telling him. Faintly he heard the word "arm". "The left one?"

His friend shook his head slightly. Adam pushed even further over Frederic and grabbed his arm. If he wanted to pull Frederic to the exit, he had to fix the injured arm to the body somehow, to make it endurable for his friend. If he remained conscious, he could help with his legs while Adam dragged him out. Very carefully Adam grabbed Frederic's arm. Instantly Frederic screamed again. Although it was dark, Adam closed his eyes as he felt that above the wrist bones were sticking out of the skin. He put back the arm and pushed back in front of Frederic. "Let the arm lay there. I'll try to attach it."

With some contortions Adam took off his shirt to fix Frederic's arm to the body somehow. He waited a while until his friend had recovered from the pain a bit. "I'll grab you under your shoulders to pull you to the exit."

The fact that his friend could help ran the way back more easily than expected for Adam. Only a few times Adam had to wait a short while, because his friend's pain increased by the vibrations. Then finally Adam could recognize something and hear voices. He knew now they approached the exit. He leaned over Frederic. "We almost made it, Frederic. Once again, clench your teeth, then we're through."

With his feet he finally touched the wall.

"He's back, he's back! ... And he's not alone."

"Frederic, please hold out one more time. I'll push you over me, and then you'll be pulled out."

His friend nodded again. Adam turned onto his back. "Pull him out, but be careful, his arm's broken."

With his last ounce of strength and Frederic's help he pushed his friend over his body, then he was pulled out. Adam waited briefly and crawled back a little, turned around and let himself be pulled out from the cavity. Completely exhausted and done he laid for quite some time on the ground and looked at the sky. Rain fell on his face. Then he turned his head and looked at his friend who sat leaning against a tree and drinking water. Adam stood up and sat down next to Frederic. One of the men gave him something to drink. Adam sipped and looked up at him. "Have any more been found?"

The man nodded. "With the man up here we have seven dead as it looks. The others were found alive. Currently, the last dead are recovered below. Since they weren't buried very deep it'll go more or less quickly. If you get along here, Dan and I will bring the dead down."

Adam nodded and pointed his head towards the rubble mountain in front of them. "How long I was down there?"

"Almost two hours."

Adam leaned his head against the tree and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Adam."

Frederic still spoke very softly. He had to cough repeatedly. Adam drew up one leg, leaning his elbow on his knee and running his hand over his face. "Frederic, look around, ... that shouldn't have happened."

Even Frederic leaned his head against the tree. "I can't say why I didn't listen to you once again. Why I thought you had the same problem as in the construction of the bridge."

Frederic got a new fit of coughing, and Adam gave him his bottle. "Why do you always think I'm against anything new? I'm not against progress. But I am against people who think that with money you can buy and own everything. This, Frederic, ..." he pointed to the destroyed building site, "... was so unnecessary. There are many places in Boston where the government palace could have been built, but with this he just wanted to show his power. With grandeur he wanted to look over Boston. With a giant office and overlooking the sea, and all this just to impress his guests. I've told your father that this could happen one day. But I admit, I didn't expect it to happen so quickly."

Adam heard his friend breathing deeply. "I've done everything wrong, and I had planned so very hard to stand on my own two feet."

Looking at the clouds Adam went through his own thoughts. Only after some time he continued. "I can't tell you how to lead your life. I can only advise you to learn from this. As I judge the matter, a lot of money will be spend to silence people. Within a few days life will be back to normal.

Frederic, you should finally decide whether you want to follow your father's footsteps, and only go for success and your status in the Boston society, or whether you want to go your own way. Even if that means you will never live in such a big house with so much service staff. Anyway you will have to deal the rest of your life with what has happened here."

Even Frederic took his time until he answered. "Adam ... I have seen my arm. I can be glad if someday I can use it again. I'm sure even you know that we won't finish our studies together. Again I've got no idea what to do next."

Adam turned to his friend. "I can only give you the advice, according to which I live. Don't turn back in front of an obstacle. Find a way to get past it. If you want to continue to work in this profession, you'll make it. First take care of your arm and then look at what to do next."

Frederic looked at Adam. "I wish I always could be controlled and go with the calmness through life as you do."

Thoughtfully Adam looked back into the sky. "Believe me, sometimes I wished I could make some of my decisions as oblivious as you do it."

Each went through his own thoughts and with time Adam noticed that the cold took possession of his body more and more. With heavy limbs he rose. "I'll go down and tell your father that you're alright. Then I'll send you men to carry you down."

Adam wasn't standing quite right as Frederic told him a determined "No!. I'll walk. I've got a broken arm and no broken legs."

"You needn't play the hero."

Frederic held his left arm out to Adam so that he could help him up. "I certainly don't feel like a hero after this day."

Adam pulled his friend to his feet and held him briefly till he was able to stand properly. It could well be seen how much his arm hurt. Very slowly and carefully they both made their way down. Adam had picked up his jacket lying near the tree. He pulled over, but due to the fact that it had been lying on the ground all the time, it had gone wet and cold, too, and didn't provide any warmth. Adam just wanted to go home, take a warm bath and spend the next three days in bed.

From a distance, Mr. Francois saw as Adam and his son came down the slope. A rush of relief flowed through him. He went to meet both and then took his son gently in the arm when he realized that he was hurt. "Frederic, ... I, ... I am so relieved that you're alive."

Frederic looked past his father to the covered bodies lying on the edge of the slope. "Unfortunately, not all were that lucky."

Mr. Francois didn't respond to the remark of his son. "Adam, I can't tell you how grateful I am. Of course, I'm going to show my appreciation for you saving Frederic."

Adam had to swallow hard. The weariness and the cold made it hard for him not to lose his temper. "Mr. Francois, if you had taken my words seriously, all this could have been avoided. I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror this very evening."

The face of Frederic's father hardened instantly. "Don't tell no nonsense, Adam. The whole thing is a tragic accident and doesn't have anything to do with your pessimism. I forbid you to even say a word about it."

Adam laughed. "Mr. Francois, you won't have to prohibit me from anything, but you can calm down. I surely won't walk through Boston and tell what a fool you are. Some day you'll get the just punishment for your deeds."

Frederic's father took a deep breath. "Get out of my construction site, Cartwright."

Frederic looked from his father to his friend not knowing what to do. "I was about to leave anyway."

Mr. Francois put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Frederic, I'll go with you to Dr. Paulsen right away. You can't imagine how glad I am that you're alive." He followed the view of his son to the bodies on the ground. "Don't worry about those. Those are only workers. We can replace them with new ones. To their families, we will give some money so they manage to make ends meet during the coming weeks. We will rebuild the Governor's house again."

When Adam heard these words, he forgot everything Amarok had ever told him. He no longer controlled his emotions. He didn't try to fight the wrong wolf any longer. Adam let his anger run wild. When he hit Mr. Francois' face, he was only the son of Ben Cartwright from Nevada. With satisfaction he looked at Frederic's father, who was lying in a mud puddle, holding his face, moaning. Then he turned around to make his way home.


	39. Chapter 39

The door crashed into the lock and Adam leaned against it. The way home seemed to be infinitely long. With each step, his bones ached more. A couple of times he had to be careful not to fall asleep while walking. He closed his eyes enjoying the warmth of his home. Unfortunately, it was short-lived, as he was wet from top to bottom, and the cold had spread out in him. Although he was so exhausted he felt annoyed that he had lost control towards Frederic's father. After the incident with Conrad he had sworn, to never lose control in his fury ever again or to ever hurt any others. Adam felt how upset he was due to the events of the last hours. A visit to the plateau certainly wouldn't be enough to handle all this. Even to get a few days of rest in his valley was impossible at the moment. In the next few weeks the final exams for the third year would be pending. And he had promised Mr. Graham to spend every day at least one hour in the office.

His trembling became stronger and Adam just wanted to get out of his wet clothes and into a warm bath. He pulled out the jacket and threw it down on the floor. This was followed by shoes and socks. Just when he went to take off his wet pants, he heard a noise. He raised his head and looked up. On the stairs stood Bridget grinning at him.

"Did you forget that you no longer live alone here with Frederic?"

Adam looked at the filthy clothes that lay before him, then again to Bridget. He pulled on his pants again. Frederic's sister had noticed in his reaction that something was wrong. Slowly she came down the stairs. Just now she saw that he hadn't only taken off his clothes because of the rain. "My goodness, Adam ... what happened?"

Adam exhaled. In his eyes she saw a mixture of sadness, anger and despair. Even if he hadn't said a word, she could feel how churned he was. "There was an accident at the construction site ..."

He said nothing more as the images of the last few hours recurred before his eyes. "On the one you're currently working on?"

He shook his head. With his next words he closed his eyes. The words came very softly over his lips. "At Frederic's ..."

Her eyes widened and she held her hand over her mouth to keep herself from crying out. Just as Adam looked, and as he spoke, she expected the worst. Surprised Adam opened his eyes. The accident had happened hours ago. Hadn't Frederic's father sent anyone to inform Giovanna and Bridget what had happened? He would have liked to burst out laughing. That was typical of Mr. Francois. He had certainly not thought of Frederic's wife for a second.

„Has no one informed you that there has been an accident?" Almost imperceptibly, she moved her head and denied his question. "There was a landslide and the house collapsed. Several workers were buried ... including Frederic."

She held her breath and waited for him to continue. But she couldn't prevent the tears welling in her eyes. Adam went a step closer to her and took her in his arms. "He's fine. He has certainly got a broken right arm, but apart from that he's fine."

She sighed with relief and leaned against him. She didn't care at that moment, how wet and dirty he was, and Adam held her a little tighter. He needed her closeness. She gave him back a bit of the peace and the strength he had lost during the last hours.

In a few words he told her what had happened, and that not everybody had been as lucky as Frederic. Only the incident with her father he left out. She'd find out soon enough. His words made shivers run down her spine. Just the thought of what her brother and Adam had suffered caused her to shudder. She didn't need to look at him nor to ask him to know that it might take many hours to handle what has happened and to regain his inner balance. But she also knew that it wouldn't be easy for him with Giovanna, Frederic and Riccardo in his house and the tests which were about to come in the next few weeks. As she always did when she wanted to help him, Bridget put her hand at his heart. But then she was concerned about how cold he was. She pushed away from him and ran it with her hand over his chest. Again, she was shocked. "Adam, you're injured, too!"

She wiped some of the dirt aside and saw the red spots. "These are just some scratches from stones. With all the mud and the rain, it now looks worse than it is."

"You're so very cold. I can see you trembling. I'm going to get you water for a warm bath and then wake Giovanna and tell her what had happened. Meanwhile, you can get your clean clothes from upstairs."

Adam smiled wearily. "I'm going to do it by myself."

Her eyes twinkled. "Adam, are you still thinking I'm not able to make hot water for a bath?"

He scratched behind the ear. "Well, now ... how often have you done something like that all on your own?"

She took a deep breath. Only due to the events of the last few hours and because she saw how done Adam was, she drew back and spoke with a slight edge in her voice.

"I thought by now you would have noticed that I don't need servants for living. Although I return every night in my parents' house, I've spent most of the day with Giovanna and her family in recent years. I'm well capable to provide you a bath with warm water. Even a chicken for a soup I could butcher, if you feel like hav...!"

He took her in his arms again. "I'm sorry." Then he looked into her eyes and smiled. "I'll go upstairs to get my clothes."

Very slowly and with tired legs, he went upstairs. Halfway he stopped and looked down. Bridget had just gathered up his things and looked up the stairs. Their eyes met.

"I love you, Bridget."

"I know that, Adam."

He lowered his head and walked on up.

XXX

The sun was shining in his room when he was slowly awaking. He stretched and twitched. His bones felt like they had after his first cattle drive, and even if he had slept many hours, he was still done and weary. The warm bath last night had made him so sleepy that he had trouble leaving it. But at last the cooling water brought him back to his feet.

Bridget had brought him a pot of tea to his room and put a second blanket on the bed. Afterwards she had gone off with Giovanna and Riccardo to go to Frederic. Adam's head had hardly touched the pillow in the evening, when he was already asleep and he has woken up only now. At first, he just wanted to turn back to sleep, but then his belly growled. It reminded Adam of the fact that his last meal was breakfast the day before. He put aside the blanket and sat down at the edge of the bed. Not only his bones ached, but also his back, chest and the belly. Adam looked down at himself. If his back looked exactly the same, it didn't surprise him that he felt as if he had a sunburn. His entire chest and belly was a single wound of scuffs and scratches of varying length and depth. The blood crusted parts stretched uncomfortably with every breath and started bleeding again. He looked at his sheet and groaned loudly. The thought that he had to change the linen later, exhausted him already. He put his elbows on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. The pictures of yesterday returned and not only those. For a brief moment he had again the feeling of suffocating. Adam sat up, took a deep breath and was reminded that he was in his room and no longer below the earth, looking for Frederic.

Like an old man he rose and walked to the basin. Even after he had repeatedly poured cold water into his face, he preferred to go back to his bed, than to think of any tests or work. Only hunger and the desire for a fresh coffee led him to get ready.

A little later when he was on the way to the kitchen, he heard Riccardo whining softly. He looked into the cradle, which stood in the living room. His godson had hardly seen him, when he started yelling loudly. Adam picked him up and went into the kitchen. "Let me guess, Chico? You're just as starving, as I am."

Bridget stood in the kitchen and fixed the baby's bottle for Riccardo. "Did he wake you up? I deliberately left him in the living room, so you won't hear him when he wakes up."

Adam took the bottle and sat down with his godson at the small table. Instantly Riccardo was calm and only focused on his food. "I think you could have put him into my room and I wouldn't have heard anything."

He hadn't regained his strength by far. It would certainly take a few more days until he wouldn't look so exhausted any more. "How are you today?"

With a tired smile, he looked at her. "Well, today I'd rather do without a dance lesson." Her smile didn't escape him. "Is there something wrong? Why are you smiling at me?"

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Although you're so done, you already feel responsible again. It can't be overlooked that you grew up with two younger brothers."

Adam watched Riccardo, who was still in his arm drinking his milk. Instinctively he thought of Hoss and the time they were on their way to Nevada. Most of the time he had taken care of him and played with him or fed him. That thought made him smile.

"Only the first six years I had to look after Hoss so much, then my father had remarried. I think that's why I've got a very different relationship with him than Little Joe. He didn't need me so much in his early years. Only when Marie died and my father ..."

Adam didn't continue. Although with time he thought a little differently about the decision of his father to leave the Ponderosa from one minute to another, he didn't like remembering that time. As Bridget knew what had happened after the death of Joe's mother, and Adam didn't like talking about, she didn't ask him to go on. Adam's gaze shifted from Riccardo to Bridget

"Did you happen to make some coffee?"

"By chance?"

She turned, poured him a cup and then set it on the table. "I guess you're hungry, too?"

He nodded. "Do I have to yell like Riccardo or would you still prepare me some?"

She crossed her arms. "Do you think I can do it without service staff?"

He looked back at his godson. "Did you hear that? I think your aunt is still mad at me. And I have apologized after all."

Riccardo just looked at him with big eyes. Bridget shook her head and began to prepare something to eat.

"How is Frederic? Is Giovanna with him?"

"Frederic had to undergo surgery yesterday to fix his bones again, but if he can move his arm again as before the accident, they couldn't say for sure. He must definitely stay in the hospital for the next few days. Giovanna will be with him as often as possible. She's still shocked by what happened."

Riccardo had emptied his bottle, and Adam put it aside and laid him on his shoulder. A moment he grimaced as the little legs kicked him. Bridget took a bottle out of her bag and placed it on the table in front of Adam.

"I brought you something from Dr. Paulsen. You can apply it so the wounds don't became inflamed. If you need help let me know."

He looked at the bottle and nodded. Then he sipped his coffee, enjoying the warmth and taste.

"And how did Frederic cope with all this?"

Bridget paused briefly. "I think actually quite good. He has talked a lot about, you getting him out of there, but somehow I had the impression that there's still something bothering him, and I don't mean his arm. But it might be that I am mistaken. I wasn't very long with him."

Adam could well imagine what was bothering his friend, but he didn't say it aloud. The future would certainly not be easy for Frederic. Adam only hoped that he wouldn't be in the dumps, but would try anything to get back on his feet.

"Adam, we both need to talk about something."

Adam winced. Hopefully she wouldn't want to talk about what he had said on the stairs yesterday. Still on the way up, he had been annoyed at himself that he didn't keep his feelings to himself, but at this moment he had been just glad she was there. If she wanted to talk to him about that now, what should he tell her? He couldn't lie, but he couldn't take her to the Ponderosa either. Being nervous after all, Adam just nodded.

"Since Frederic can't do much the next couple of weeks and will need help, Giovanna and I wondered whether it might be better if I lived here during this time in order to help them. The only question is whether you agree?"

Relieved Adam exhaled. "For me, that's fine, but what will your father say?"

She put his food on the table. „I don't worry about that. He's got the choice. Me here, or Frederic and Giovanna with him.That would mean that her family would often pay a visit." She noticed his startled face and laughed. "Don't worry, Adam. Giovanna will make sure that you can live here in peace. It was indeed only about my father. And he can already get used to the idea how it'll be when I'm possibly going to leave Boston next year."

Adam winced again and looked at her with wide eyes. Bridget instantly knew how he had interpreted her words. She still wondered what he was so afraid of. It wasn't only the fact that he didn't trust her to cope in Nevada. Perhaps he would tell her one day, but now she had given up hope that he would stand by his feelings, even if he had told her yesterday for the first time, that he loved her. He had said these words without thinking. He had briefly lost control of himself and his feelings. And as she knew him, that wouldn't easily happen again. Thus her decision that she had reached

a few weeks ago, had been the best. She wouldn't wait any longer, if there might be a future for them.

"I applied for the teacher training seminar. If I'm invited for the aptitude test and admitted thereafter, I will go for two years to New York the next spring."

She had said the words without big emotions. She didn't want to show him how hard it was to reach this decision. Inwardly she took a deep breath. But one thing was sure. If a miracle should happen and Adam would ask her if she was willing to go with him, the seminar would be quickly gone from her head.

"It's good that you've decided to become a teacher. So you can run your own life and aren't depending on your father any longer. That's what you wanted."

She picked Riccardo from him. "Yes, sure. My own life ..., c'mon little buddy. Let's make you comfy again and leave Adam to eat in peace."

The two left the kitchen and Adam leaned back. Although she had taken the decision for him, and it was clear that their paths would separate after his studies, he wasn't relieved at all. On the contrary. Knowing that he would really go home without her, grieved him immensely. He hoped that it wouldn't take too long to forget her. Adam looked at his meal. His appetite had left him suddenly.

XXX

Adam entered Frederic's room. His friend was lying in bed, his eyes closed. The right arm was bandaged from wrist to shoulder. Adam was about to leave the room again, to come back later as Frederic turned his head and looked at him. "Please stay. I may be tired, but this damned arm won't let me sleep."

Adam took a chair and sat down at the bed. "And I thought you might throw me out of the room right away after yesterday."

Frederic's eyebrows raised. "You mean because you've given my father a piece of your mind in a very impressive way?"

"I'm certainly not proud that I once again let my anger take control."

"Adam, he deserved it. I don't understand him either. My father is after all the child of a working class family."

Adam couldn't hide his surprise. "Yes, when I heard that, I was just amazed as well. My mother has told me this morning because she wanted to know what happened between you and my father. She told me that my father had worked very much for himself. With the wedding he entered in the "right" circles. That's why I cannot understand his behavior."

Adam's look went out the window. "I think he might have his reasons."

Now Frederic couldn't hide his astonishment. "Will you protect him now?"

"No, ... no one can escape his past. Catches up with everyone one day."

Frederic wasn't sure whether Adam meant his father's or his own past. Adam's gaze returned to his friend. "How are you, Frederic, and only a "good" isn't enough for me."

Frederic turned his head and stared at the ceiling for a while. "Even if you are disappointed in me now, I am glad that we have enough money to let me be medicated by Dr. Paulsen, and to lie in his hospital. They told me very clearly that my prospects to use the arm properly again might have looked very poorly at the municipal hospital."

"You still haven't understood. I'm not disappointed. I'm as glad as you are that you've got this possibility. You shall with all your wealth just never forget that there are no second-class citizens. And if you've got the opportunity to get the best doctor in town, just don't take it as self-evident."

Still gazing at the ceiling, he replied his friend. "I'll never again take it for granted, Adam. Since I've known you, my life has been changed and since yesterday I've even become more aware."

He turned his head back to Adam. In his eyes was nothing left of the insouciance he had before the accident. "I don't know how you felt down there when you searched for me, but for me there was a point where I had no hope left. I am - however – so very grateful that you didn't give up and you found me."

His words and the thoughts of yesterday had stirred him up so that his body tensed and he painfully grimaced as Adam touched his friend's hand. "Frederic, please don't get so upset. You're alive. That's what counts."

However, Frederic found it hard to calm down. At the moment the events of the previous day were still present. "Dr. Paulsen thinks I could repeat the third year after summer with a little luck."

"This is good news! But why do I have the impression that you aren't glad about it?"

"He said, if I'm lucky ..., Adam, I told my father, after the marriage I'm no longer depending on him ..." He swallowed and closed his eyes as another wave of pain ran through his arm. "The money that I've saved, will be sufficient for only one or two months. Then I would have go to my father and beg for money, and that's something I never wanted to do again."

"Then don't do it."

Frederic laughed out loud. "And what should I do? Send Giovanna to work? Then I'd definitely have failed in his eyes."

"What do you think, we do at my home, if one of us gets sick or injured? Do you really think we wouldn't care about him?"

"Adam, you talk about your family. I can still be glad that you watch me as your friend after what has happened."

Adam only looked at him for a while and didn't say anything. It wasn't possible for Frederic to detect what his friend was thinking. In his eyes and in his face no emotions could be read. Once again, he wondered what Adam must have experienced that he foreclosed his feelings like that. Frederic winced when Adam started talking. "I will certainly not kick Riccardo out or let him starve. You've made me his godfather. I thought that made us a family? But even if Riccardo wouldn't join us, I'd never let a friend down."

Whether it was the drugs or just the exhaustion, Frederic couldn't tell. Words just failed him, and he had to pull himself together in order not to let his emotions overtake. "Thank you."

More he couldn't say. It took Frederic some time to catch up again. He couldn't help but to fall asleep. When he opened his eyes, he was glad that Adam was still with him.

"Did I sleep long?"

„No."

Frederic smirked. "You aren't telling the truth. Why didn't you go? You don't look much better than me. You should rest, too."

"While you were sleeping, I did."

„On the chair?"

"Believe me, it was more comfortable to sit here, than to get up and walk home."

"Adam, do you really want to go back next year? Why don't you stay and we both get something going. It doesn't have to be here in Boston."

Adam stood up, walked to the window and looked at the sea. He turned back to the bed. "You and your father have asked me repeatedly why I'm here and study, if I don't want to work in this field. I really couldn't answer that question myself, but now I know it. It was never my dream to become an architect. I could also have studied something else. I just wanted to take the opportunity to go to college to learn even more. Even the idea to cope alone in a foreign city for several years, fascinated me, but to spend the rest of my life in an office or on a construction site, doesn't satisfy me."

"Then what is your dream? The life on the ranch?"

With arms crossed Adam stood by the window and wondered. "I don't know ... the Ponderosa is the dream of my father, but I don't think it's mine."

In disbelief Frederic listened to his friend. By the recent events Adam had to be done more than he admitted. He had never spoken to him so frankly about what his future was concerned. "And nevertheless you are going back?"

"Frederic, I miss my family, and that I can just be me. Here in Boston I always have to watch out what I say and how I say it. I miss the freedom to spend the day on my horse, and I miss working on the ranch. Here I am demanded mentally, but not physically. I don't know how it will be when I'm back in Nevada. I'm not just seventeen, when I return. It may be that I will notice over time that I'm not happy there, too, but I know one thing, living in a city like this will be out of question for me."

"I'm going to miss you."

"Then you come to Nevada."

Frederic raised his hand and laughed. At the same time he grimaced in pain. "No way. I love my life. I've seen you fighting when you're mad, and you're a quiet one. I would probably be shot on the second day, because I've looked askance at someone."

With a few steps Adam was at Frederic's bed and put his hand on his shoulder. "We talk as if I was already leaving tomorrow. We still have a whole year ahead of us, and who knows what else will happen. So let's enjoy and not think about the parting."

Frederic nodded. "So, when I'm ready to get up, I'm heading for home. I think I'll drop into bed early. Tomorrow the books are waiting for me."

Adam was almost at the door when Frederic called him again. "Adam ... I know yesterday we experienced something we both don't want to go through again, but please don't let this event make you even more thoughtful. I wouldn't like to see you closed up even more. I want you to be happy in future."

With a laugh, Adam opened the door. "I don't lose fun so easily. Especially not with you and your crazy family."

XXX

With a cup of tea Adam went into the living room and placed it on the small table beside the chair. He was eager to read Koko's letter today. When he was back from the hospital visit Giovanna had thanked him profusely and with a fantastic meal for his support. Well satisfied, but very tired, he took the letter from the fireplace and sat down. He carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

 _Dear Adam,_

 _I had to read your last letter several times to believe everything you've written. Everything I would have expected, but not that your friend would really marry Giovanna and certainly not with the consent of his father. When you hold this letter in hands, the baby must have been born already. I'm very curious to see if it's a boy or a girl, and how you are doing with so many people at home. When you come back home, your life will certainly not be that exciting, though Hoss and Little Joe already bet if you come back at all. They argue, who would get your room in this case._

 _So, I firmly reckon on the fact that you get back. I cannot imagine that you suddenly feel comfortable in the city. Certainly not, since you don't write anything about Bridget. In the beginning I really thought she would accompany you to Nevada, but now you don't mention her any longer. In this moment when you read these lines, I'd love to look into your eyes, to know what's going on, but apparently I must wait till you're back home._

 _I think that when you step out of the stage coach next year, you will surely be amazed at how much Hoss has changed. He has grown so much in the last six months, it won't take long, and he is as big as your father._ _I'_ _m also very curious how you have changed, and if I recognize you at all. I hope that after all the years we still get along as good as before._

 _I have thought quite a long time about whether I should write to you the following, but Hoss has encouraged me to do it because the worst is indeed over._

Adam briefly faltered. What would come next? Then he calmed down. If something bad had happened, he'd certainly have received a telegram. Hesitating he continued reading.

 _Your father was very sick in fall. He had a bad flu. Because he's as stubborn as you, he hadn't taken it seriously until he couldn't go on any longer._ _It has taken him_ _very long to get back on his feet. And he has forbidden anyone to write you about this because he was afraid that then you would come back right away. Dr. Martin had ordered a home help who took care of your Pa, Hoss and Little Joe because Hop Sing wouldn't have managed all this alone. And what can I say - it looks like she has taken such good care of the three that he doesn't want to let her go again. Hoss and I are almost sure that your father has fallen in love. Of course I'll keep you up-to-date about it!_

After reading the last two sentences again and again, Adam laid his head back. He couldn't believe it. Hoss and Koko must have been mistaken. His father couldn't do that again. Would he want to get married for the fourth time? How could he fall in love again and forgot how much he had suffered before. Had he ever really loved his mother, Inger or Marie?

Adam closed his eyes. He didn't want to experience again, how his father suffered. Thus he hoped to read in Koko's next letter that everything had remained the same. He was thinking for a while about Koko's lines and what they meant for him, and instead of finishing to read the letter, he fell asleep. As the night before his sleep was so deep that he didn't notice how Bridget took the letter, put it on the fireplace and tucked Adam in with a blanket.


	40. Chapter 40

Frederic threw the pen in the corner, rose from the table, left the house, stood in front of the door and looked at the sea. He took a deep breath. With his left hand he rubbed his right wrist.

"Is the pain that strong again?"

Frederic winced as Adam put a hand on his shoulder. Then he smiled at his friend. "You'd rather say I'm too impatient again."

"Then take your time. You were lucky that half the year is credited, and you only need to re-enter in January."

"Yes, with the study I've got time, but I want to start with the construction of the first boat on Saturday."

Adam looked at him surprised. "On Saturday?"

With a triumphant grin Frederic replied. "You didn't expect, me being ready two weeks before the schedule."

"No, I admit, I didn't even quite believe that you would see it through."

Adam was really amazed at his friend. A good five months had passed since the accident, and Frederic had worked from the moment at which he could move the arm again being able to use it again properly. Inside him was an ambition that Adam hadn't seen before. Frederic's father had offered him to continue to work in his company, which he had rejected. Instead, with the help of Pietro he got an order to build three fishing boats which should be ready by the end of September. The order wasn't large and would only earn him so much money that he could make ends meet for him and his family without the support of his father. But for his arm, it was a good exercise to get back to catch up with the studies. The accident had made Frederic grow up, and Adam now no longer doubted that he would go his own way after graduating.

"Come on in, I'll show you the plans, or do you first want something to eat? I do know how hungry you are always when you come out of your valley."

Laughing Adam slapped Frederic on the shoulder. "I can look at the plans first, I had more luck with the fish this time."

Both went into the house, and proudly Frederic showed Adam the drawings.

"And Saturday you already want to launch the first boat?"

"I can do this. I've seen how many people helped us at the schoolhouse and on Saturday there will certainly be even more at the beach."

"What makes you so sure? For such a big project you can't rely on really getting help. This is a real job and cannot to be compared with what we did back then."

Frederic crossed his arms. His eyes sparkled with amusement. "You've forgotten what a day Saturday is, haven't you?"

Adam pondered and grinned then. "You're pretty smart. This way you can of course save the wages of the workers, too."

"I admit, that wasn't my idea. Pietro had asked me, if we cannot do that on Saturday. He said, back then it was such a fun to build the school house, and he'd like to help again with his friends and families and at the same time celebrate his birthday. And Adam ..." He grinned again naughtily, "... when the boat just sinks, I always can claim it only was due to the workers."

Frederic got a push in the side from Adam. "Hello, Mr. Francois ...!"

Still laughing Frederic rubbed his wrist again. "No. It won't sink. It'll swim, and it'll be a good boat, because we have again the best people here. As back then and I hope you're joining in!"

Adam took a can from his saddlebag and opened it. Then he took Frederic's hand and rubbed some of the content on the wrist. "If you want to have me around, I'd like to come, of course."

With an astonished look Frederic watched as his friend rubbed his wrist. "Of course I want to have you here! In addition, Pietro had invited you a long time before ..., tell me what are you doing here? That smells disgusting."

Frederic wanted to pull away his hand, but Adam held it close and rubbed the paste further. "In her last letter Koko had written to me what to rub into your wrist to ease the pain."

With a disgusted gaze Frederic looked at him. "Koko wrote to you?" Frederic looked back down. "Adam, don't be angry to me. I don't know much about Indians, but don't they use dead animals for their medicine? And guts and other things that I don't want to imagine right now?" Then he looked at Adam startled. "You haven't made the stuff by yourself and killed any critters for that?"

Grinning Adam continued to rub on Frederic's wrist. "Only a few toads, snakes, beetles and the stomach contents of a seagull."

With a fierce jerk Frederic tried to pull away his arm, without success.

„ADAM …..!"

Adam could no longer restrain his laughter. "Stay calm, Frederic. It's all just from plants that I've found in the valley and nearby. Koko had written to me, what I should look for and how I can make it. You shall spread this ointment every morning on your wrist during the next two weeks and then massage it for several minutes. Then the pain should slowly disappear."

Adam let go of his arm and Frederic looked at him still in disbelief. "You really do believe in this, don't you?"

"Just do it every day. You have nothing to lose. It cannot get worse. And my friend ...", Adam raised his finger and looked at him seriously. "... you'll do it because Koko has written this letter only because of you, and if you don't follow her advice ... oh ... oh ... the revenge of an Indian can be very painful."

Adam took his saddlebag, went up the stairs and left his friend behind flabbergasted. Adam had not yet reached his door, when he heard Frederic calling anxiously. "Adam, you're joshing? Huh? Adam, ... she can't know whether I do it or not ... Adam ...!"

Adam closed his door, grinning.

XXX

With a leap Adam jumped on the boat. "Here Adam, catch it."

Pietro threw a bottle of wine to him. Adam opened it, took a big gulp and sat on the railing. "Pietro, would you have believed that our Frederic was going to manage this? And it looks like it doesn't even sink."

Laughing Pietro sat next to Adam and took the bottle from him. "You've got no idea what the fishermen and I have promised to him if he didn't do."

After a sip, he handed the bottle back to Adam. "Tell me, ... I've just seen, you had a little problem with Frederic's old friends?"

Adam looked at the beach, where some of Fredric's friends were staying a bit off. "We just had to clarify a little."

"Wasn't that the chap you had beaten up in the bar back then?"

With a slight grin Adam took another swig from the bottle. "Yep."

Pietro laughed. "Well, from what he looks like, he lost to you again."

"Yep."

Pietro nudged Adam. "Look, here comes the great master."

Frederic climbed onto the boat and stood in front of Pietro and Adam. "Do you have your little private party here?"

"We only check if you've done everything right."

With his hands akimbo Frederic looked at them. "My dear Adam, ... you take care of your library and let me build my ships."

Adam looked around. "Oh, Pietro ... now he's already talking of ships ... and this here has not even reached the deep waters."

Pietro took the bottle out of his hand. "Come on, Adam, now we should really praise our little buddy. Who would have thought two years ago that he can get something going all be himself, without daddy."

Pietro looked at the bottle, turned it upside down and looked at Adam, who only grinned at him. "If you think you can do more wine than an Italian, you're wrong about that."

Pietro stood up to bring two new bottles from the back of the boat.

"Won't you take me seriously, Adam, or why do you make nasty remarks all day?"

"Of course, I'll take you seriously, but this is only a small fishing boat, once you land a big project, then we haven't heard the last of this."

Frederic tried to stay calm. "See what I mean, Adam? Just all the time! And why do you drink so much today? This way I don't know you. You started with the wine already in the morning."

Pietro came back with the two bottles. "Frederic, I know what your friend is missing."

He went to Adam, put his arm around his shoulder and handed him a new bottle. With the other he pointed to a spot on the beach. "Take the bottle and go. I think there's someone waiting for you."

Adam followed his gaze and his grin widened. He took off shirt, shoes and socks, and then let himself fall backwards into the water. Frederic went to the railing and looked behind Adam who swam the short distance to the beach.

"Pietro, what's that supposed to mean? You know quite well that he wants nothing from her."

Pietro handed his brother the bottle. "Sometimes you have to give luck a helping hand, and I think today he's got the right courage."

Frederic looked at Pietro angrily and refused the bottle. "You mean because he drank so much wine with you? Pietro, that's my sister over there."

"So what? Should I remind you why you're married to MY sister?"

"That was different. Today Adam isn't in a good mood and he should go home instead."

"Frederic, relax. Believe me. It'll be fine, and you also want your friend here to stay. So let things take their course."

Frederic looked back to the beach, where Adam went to his sister. He didn't believe that it would go well. He didn't know what was going on with his friend today, but just as he felt, Bridget would surely snub him.

Bridget lay on the beach and looked to the stars, when she suddenly got water sprayed in her face. "Eeeh, Adam, you're wet."

Adam had lain down beside her and let the water out of his hair drip on her face. "I'm surprised you're still here, and you didn't go home with Giovanna and Riccardo."

"I want to help her mother to clean up later."

Adam opened the bottle of wine and handed it to Bridget. "Would you like a sip of wine?"

She pushed the bottle back in his direction. "No thanks. I've had enough today."

"Well, then there's more for me." He took a swig then put the bottle in the sand. "And, you've found something in the stars?"

She looked up again. "Yes I have. I've seen three shooting stars."

"Three? And what were your wishes?"

She turned her head to him. "I don't know how it is in Nevada, but here in Boston, it won't be told, otherwise it won't come true."

He moved a little closer to her, leaning slightly over her and looking into her eyes. "I think I know your wishes, too. The first two I can grant you very quickly and at the last we have to wait just a few weeks. I can't be worse than your brother."

Before she really could think about his words, he kissed her. At first she allowed herself to enjoy the pleasure of his kisses, happy that he finally admitted his feelings. But then she became aware of his words.

His kiss was more pressing and no longer had anything passionate. His hand was under her dress and wandered up her thigh. Eyes wide, she pushed Adam away and stood up quickly. "Adam, what's that supposed to mean?"

Slowly, he rose with a grin. "What's wrong with you? That's what you've wanted all along."

His head snapped to the side as she slapped his face. "You're drunk and a bastard, Adam Cartwright."

Shrugging, he watched her as she ran to the others around the campfire. Then his eyes fell on another group of students who sat a little further away around a fire. Adam picked up the bottle of wine, took a sip and went along the shore to the group.

He choked when he was about to take another sip, because Frederic suddenly appeared in front of him and took away the bottle. "What the hell's the matter with you today?"

"It's alright, now give me back the bottle."

Frederic pulled the bottle away when Adam wanted to reach for it. "No, my friend. Today you've had enough. I guess you've noticed it at Bridget's reaction."

Adam looked back at the place where he had just been laying with Bridget. "Oh, your sister was just a bit uptight."

Adam wanted to turn his head to Frederic, as he got a punch in the face from him so that he lost his balance and fell into the water. Slightly dazed, he shook his head and looked at his friend who stood frowning in front of him. "And, are you talking with me now, or do you need more cooling off to clear your head again? Because something's dreadfully wrong with you today. You drink too much, provoke Conrad until he fights with you. You treat my sister in a way that I should give you a few more slaps, and how you treated me today I just don't wanna talk about."

Frederic saw how Adam exhaled deeply and slumped a little. With his hand he wiped his eyes and forehead. He sighed and looked at Frederic. His friend held out his hand and helped him to stand up. They both sat down on the banks in the sand. Frederic looked at the water, while Adam had his head bent. He ran his fingers through the hair.

"You've done a very good job with the boat, Frederic, and the others will surely be better." Frederic didn't answer. "I'm sorry, that you were victim of my bad mood today. You didn't deserve that. Quite the contrary. You can be proud of what you've done in the last few months."

Adam's friend looked at him from the side, rubbing his wrist. "And I'm glad that your mind has apparently returned. My hand wouldn't have survived another blow."

Adam had his eyes still directed to the ground. "Adam, I know that you prefer to talk to that stone and Koko, about what moves you, but sometimes it's good to get an answer or advice directly."

Adam raised his head and looked at the sea. "I don't think you'll understand it."

"Just give it a try."

Frederic could see that Adam struggled with if he should talk about it or not. Thus he waited to see whether his friend would trust him. "I was glad that this is my last summer in Boston, and I soon will see my family again, but since this morning I'm not sure if I should go home again."

Now Frederic had to take a deep breath. All the time Adam had told him that he couldn't wait to go back to Nevada. He just couldn't imagine what could have happened that Adam put this decision into question. "Is it because of the letter you received yesterday?"

Adam had his face buried in his hands and nodded slightly. "My father married again."

Frederic waited for his friend to continue, but after several minutes he still said nothing. Just as if this information had to be sufficient for Frederic to understand why Adam had behaved like that. "Yes, you're right, Adam. I don't get it! Why can't you just be happy for your father?"

With a jump Adam jerked up and turned around. In his face Frederic could only see anger. "I should be happy that he dares to marry for the fourth time?"

Almost imperceptibly Frederic had fallen back, and he had to apply all his courage to continue to talk. "Why shouldn't he? Do you know his new wife?"

Adam's mood hadn't improved. "No, I don't know her, and I don't even want to know her."

Carefully Frederic raised. "And why not?"

There was no answer. Adam turned back to the water. Frederic didn't know what to do or say. He rarely had Adam seen this way, especially not, if he had just been up in the valley. Easily he touched Adams shoulder. "I'd like to help you, but I really don't understand where your problem is."

Adam looked up at the stars and talked very softly. "You never saw him suffer. Last time, it was very bad. How will it be now?"

Frowning Frederic tried to grasp the last words. "Adam, your father has just married, why should he suffer?"

The voice of Adam hadn't become louder. "It was today. He got married today." Adam paused and turned away again. "You've never seen his eyes when he has suffered. I've seen it three times. I don't want to see a fourth time."

"Three times? I thought your mother died here in Boston."

Adam laughed lightly. "Since I can remember my birthday, he had that look. It took a long time, until I didn't feel guilty any longer. After Marie's death, I'd never have believed that he would dare to fall in love again, let alone get married."

Slightly disbelieving Frederic raised his hands. "Why on earth do you think that his new wife will die? Alright, alright, we all have to die once, but why are you thinking about what will eventually happen in twenty or thirty years?"

With a deep breath Adam tried to regain his inner balance. He closed his eyes, but the many wine he had drunk, prevented that he could collect his thoughts. "Are my clothes still on the boat?"

Frederic knew that the moment was over now at which Adam had opened his heart. It now no longer made sense to continue to talk to him about this subject. "No, I've brought them along. They lie there in the sand."

Adam walked the few yards to his clothes and picked them up, while his gaze fell to the campfire. "I should apologize to her."

His friend followed him and heard his words. "I think that's not a good idea. Do it tomorrow when you're sober again. Today she wouldn't believe a single word."

"Frederic, please forgive me that I ruined your special day."

"You didn't." He pointed to the boat. "Because this here and the realization that I got something going for the first time, no one can take away from me."

Adam slapped his friend on the back. "I'll go then."

"Are you going home?"

"No ...!"

He didn't know why, but at that moment he thought since a long time to the saying which Inger had taught him.

'When the day is over, I think of everything I've done. Did I waste the day or did I achieve something? Did I make a new friend or a foe? Was I angry to all, or I was friendly? Whatever I've done, it's over. While I'm asleep, the world brings a bright new day, which I can waste or use, or whatever I want. Tonight I'm planing, I'll be good, I'll be kind, I'll do something that is worth to be done.'

"... I'm going to think a little."

Frederic was still thoughtful as he watched after his friend as he went towards cliffs on the shore. He was sure that the day's events would leave a mark on his friend.

Frederic looked at the campfire. Even if he couldn't help Adam with the problem with his father, he could talk to Bridget so that she wouldn't feel hurt too long. So he made his way to his sister.

XX

If it hadn't been so cold outside, Bridget would certainly have stood for hours at the door of her family home. So she pulled herself together, went into the house and searched for her father.

As to be expected, she found her father in his office. "Papa? Do you have time for me?"

Mr. Francois looked up in surprise. "To what do I owe the honor that you visit me at this time? Have your friends shown you the door?"

Because she didn't want to argue with her father, she overlooked his allusion. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to leave Boston."

Again surprised her father raised his eyesbrows. "Since when do you tell me what you're up to each and every day?"

She just shook her head. Why couldn't he have a normal conversation with her? Bridget got the impression that he was just waiting to argue with her. But this time she didn't want to do him that favor. "I will leave Boston in March and go to New York."

Her father leaned back in his chair. "I don't believe that you're going on a shopping trip in New York."

"No. I applied for a teacher training seminar and was accepted. I'm going to live there during the next two years. Where I will go after that, I cannot say."

First the eyes of Mr. Francois were opened wide, but quickly his face became serious, and he narrowed his eyes until they were only small slits. "And if I don't allow you to go there?"

She stayed calm. "You cannot stop me, or are you going to lock me up in my room for the next few years?"

"No, but I could give you no money, so you can't live out your fantasies."

"I don't need your money. I've saved enough to cope alone this time."

Her father slammed his fist on the table. "You cannot just go away, certainly not alone and certainly not to a city like New York. Who knows with whom you will hang around there? It's enough that your brother has made the wrong choice with his wife. Maybe you bring me some savage home."

Bridget took a deep breath. "I'll go to New York, and you can't stop me. Even Maman likes the idea and supports me."

"Of course, your mother likes it. She's even paying visits to your brother and his wife. I think in recent years all in this house lost their minds."

Bridget took a step closer to the desk. "Not all Papa. Only one."

Then she turned and left the office. Even in the hallway she could hear her father yelling.

XXX

Now it was time. His last day in Boston came to an end. Adam leaned on a pillar and watched the others dancing. He had his degree in his pocket and would take the morning train to go home. Adam never would have believed that he felt no particular desire to go home at the end of the study. Since the day on the beach, he still couldn't accept the fact that his father had remarried. His inward resistance went so far that he had read none of his father's letters nor had written only one line to him. Although the letters of Hoss, Little Joe and Koko only spoke in glowing terms of the new wife, Adam wasn't going to accept her, even if that meant that he would have to leave the Ponderosa after a short time. He couldn't and didn't understand his father. Especially not after he had read the diary, which his father wrote in the nine months after Marie's death. His father had been so full of pain in the first few months that Adam actually was lucky that he had ever returned. And now, a few years later, he had apparently forgotten all these feelings. But Adam could not forget. The thoughts and feelings of that time were burned into his mind, as well as many others from previous years.

He looked back at the other couples at the dance floor. Actually he had believed all along that he'd go to his prom with Bridget, but she had already left for New York three months ago. Adam remembered exactly how they all were at the station to see her off. As the train left then, he thought it would tear his heart apart. When he didn't feel better on the second day, he rode in his valley, not to find the silence, but to get so drunk until he couldn't feel the pain any longer. Now it still hurt, but it no longer tore him apart.

"Adam, not even on the last day you can stop brooding?"

Frederic had stepped to his side and had put an arm around his shoulders. "Or are you thinking about staying here?"

Grinning Adam shook his head. "No chance, Frederic. There's nothing in Boston to keep me here."

"Thank you very much …. and I thought all the time, we were friends."

With a slight pat on the belly of his friend Adam smiled. "You know how I mean that. Come on, let's take a farewell drink."

The two went to the table on which the drinks were. They toasted. "I'll miss you, Adam. I owe you a lot, you stubborn buck."

"And I thank you that you've made sure that I was never bored here."

Silently they emptied their glasses. "Will we see each other again?"

Adam put his glass back on the table. "I'm counting on that, Frederic. I just want to see my godson again."

"Nevada isn't exactly next door."

"Frederic, who knows what the next few years will bring. How it will go on with you and me. You've completed the third year excellently. If you're just as good next year, then many offices will like to employ you. Maybe then a job will lead you to us savages."

Laughing Frederic handed Adam a new glass. "No, my friend, I've told you before. I'm not that brave. I've never worn a gun in my life and at my fists only everyone would laugh. I'll stay here in civilization."

Adam raised his glass. "My friend, I firmly believe that one day we meet again."

Frederic also raised his glass. "Then it'll probably be so. For an Adam Cartwright's never wrong."

Frederic put his glass back on the table. "So, come over, you stubborn buck. Since you won't even let me bring you to the station by tomorrow morning, I just want to say goodbye to you now."

Frederic took his friend in his arms and hugged him. His next words were quite softly. "Adam, I'll never forget that you've saved my life. Never. Thank you my friend."

Frederic took a deep breath, broke the embrace and stepped back. "I'll then go home to Giovanna and Riccardo."

"Take good care of the two and my house, and if I don't get the monthly rent in time, I'll come in person and pick it up."

The two friends grinned at each other. "Goodbye, Frederic."

"Goodbye, Adam."

In order to not delay the farewell even longer, Frederic quickly left the room. Adam watched him go for a while, until someone put a hand on his arm. "Adam, didn't you promise me a dance?"

Adam took her hand and went to the dance floor. "Not just one, Josephine. I still have a lot of time till my train will leave."


	41. Chapter 41

With a smile, he leaned back. Although he had taken a lot of time to return, he was looking forward to finally be at home, the closer he came to Virginia City. And he knew that Mr. Francois hadn't been right. Nevada was and would be his home. Adam had been completely surprised when Frederic's father stood at the station in Boston ...

xx

... "You're really doing it. You're heading back to Nevada."

Adam turned around surprised. Before him stood Mr. Francois and smiled at him. "Did you have any doubts?"

"Hoped, Adam ... only hoped. But as I got to know you in the four years I should have known."

"Boston isn't my kind of city, Mr. Francois."

"Oh, come on, Adam, don't lie to yourself. Not only the city, even the study isn't what you wanted."

"How should you know that?"

Frederic's father smiled again. "Come on, Adam. You still have time. I invite you for a coffee."

Adam thought for a moment, "Why not."

Even if he hadn't always agreed with Frederic's father in some views, they had had a lot of good conversations with each other. So they both went to a small station cafe and ordered a coffee.

"Adam, I know you got a lot of offers, some even from other cities. So it must be something else that keeps you from being a good architect."

"There was no offer from the West."

"You don't want to admit that the study was a mistake?"

Now Adam had to smile. "It wasn't a mistake. It was a turnoff on the road of my life. I'm going to find my way back and see what I can start with the experiences that I've made here. How do you know if I don't open my own office in Virginia City?"

"You won't. You are like me. You want to achieve greater things."

At these words Adam almost swallowed his coffee. "I? Like you? With all due respect. This I don't think."

"But that's you, Adam. I also have started very small and had to work hard for what I have achieved. Quite early I've been said to become a tough businessman later. Just as you, I was also difficult to see through and I did it my way. If I'm convinced of something, I pursue till the end. Wait a few more years, then it won't be sufficient for you to herd cattle."

Adam didn't give him an answer right away, but just looked at him. "Yes, it may be that we think and act in some ways alike, but unlike you I will never forget or deny where I came from."

Mr. Francois lowered his eyes and looked into the coffee cup. For the first time in all four years no longer the man stood before Adam that apparently couldn't shake anything. For a moment someone stood before him who had lost all his self-confidence. Frederic's father looked up again having established the facade of the businessman again. Only in his eyes a certain sadness could be seen. "You got to know Boston, Adam. Here, the one who's weak is lost. I could only conform or go back to France. But this defeat, I didn't like to grant certain people." He took a deep breath. "I've made mistakes, which I'm certainly not proud of, but they happened, and I cannot change my life." His eyes turned very small. "Even you will make these mistakes. You won't find success in the working class district. It exists only in the other world."

"Success at any price? I hope I'll never make this mistake and betray myself and my family."

"Believe me, Adam, when I was as young as you, I still talked this way, but it will become different. You aren't the person who can work his whole life on the ranch of his father. You want to create something yourself. You won't want to live in his shadow forever. You managed to get my two children to no longer live with me in my house, and now for you different rules should apply? You know exactly if Frederic hadn't been your friend, my family would still be intact."

Adam put his empty cup aside. "Mr. Francois, Frederic and Bridget made their decisions on their own. A family doesn't have to fall apart just because one goes his own way. My father also would understand, if I left the Ponderosa to build something of my own. It doesn't always have to end in dispute. You always wanted Frederic to be independent. Now he is, and you're still not satisfied. Are you ever satisfied with anything? I've got a feeling, you're running away from your old life, and that distinguishes us both. I find no importance in a large house with no personality. I don't know where I'm going, but for me, the people that surround me and who are important to me, always come first. Happiness and satisfaction I won't find in a big house or in a world in which you live but ..." Adam put his hand on his heart, "... here."

He picked up his suitcase and shook hands with Frederic's father. „I wish you a good time, Mr. Francois and quite honestly, I'm looking forward to seeing you again in a few years, in order to know which of us was right."

Frederic's father took the offered hand. "And I wish that you manage to remain true."

Adam turned around and went to his train. When he had stowed his suitcase in his compartment, and the train slowly began to move, he saw that Mr. Francois was still standing near the railway line. He opened the window and looked at Frederic's father. „Mr. Francois. It's never too late to leave the road again and return to the original road of life."

Mr. Francois smiled and waved Adam goodbye….

xx

…Adam looked out the window of the stage coach and recognized the familiar environment. With every mile that he approached the Ponderosa, the anger at his father faded. He only wanted to hug him and his brothers. The longing for his family was so big that it almost hurt. With a jerk the coach finally came to a halt in the town. Adam took a deep breath and got out. He needn't look around if anyone was waiting for him. No one would be there. Adam hadn't told when exactely he would arrive at home. Only that he was on his way. He didn't want to meet the new wife of his father here in Virginia City. The only letters he had written were addressed to Koko, to tell her of the various places where he had made a brief stop. So he took his suitcase and was heading towards livery stable.

"Adam? ... Adam, is that you?"

Adam turned around. At the door to the post office stood his old friend Tom. "That's impossible! Buddy, you've really come back?"

Adam put down the suitcase and grinned at his old friend. "What did you believe? That I'd leave you here alone with all them gals?"

Tom put the letters in his pocket, welcomed his friend, but then looked around in surprise. "Buddy, where's your family? The stage coach arrived on time."

"They don't know that I return today. I didn't send a telegram from the last town. I just wanted to take my time."

Now Tom's grin grew even larger. "Take your time, that's good. Then you can invite me to a welcome beer."

Adam had to laugh. "Don't you buy me one?"

"I pay the second round, but Adam ...!" He looked at his friend from top to bottom. "... just the way you look I won't go to the saloon with you. We're not going to church! Don't you have normal clothes? If we go for a beer like this, you will get a punch on your nose and your reputation is gone."

"I've got a good reputation here?"

"Of course I've made sure that everyone here is scared of you."

"Oh, thanks a lot, maybe then we should rather drink the beer at home. Because I've got no other clothes any more."

"Well, come on, we'll change you into a cowboy again and no bank manager."

Because he really had no clothes in his suitcase that looked different, and he could assume that his clothes at home no longer fit him, he followed his friend to the nearest store.

Adam just put on his boots, as Tom stood in front of him shaking his head. "Adam, you're back at home. You don't need twenty shirts."

Adam looked at the chair on which lay some of his new stuff. "Dear Tom, you should have been going to school one more year. That's five and not twenty."

"You don't need five, either. This one you need."

He put his friend a hat on. "Well, Buddy. Now we can go back to the saloon with you."

Adam stood up, rolled up his sleeves, looked into the mirror and ... felt comfortable. Now he was himself again. And didn't have to play some role. After paying the stuff, he opened the suitcase to stow them and his old clothes. At the top was his gun belt. He carefully took it out and looked at it. After almost five years, he put it on again. "It still works or did it already start to rust?"

Tom stood opposite him and smiled. "Want to try it?"

Tom raised his hands. "No way, even if you haven't worn it for some time, I'm still assuming that you're faster than me."

With a fast grip Adam drew his gun and looked at the empty chamber. Tom gave him a few cartridges for loading. Then Adam put the gun back, packed his things into the suitcase, locked it and the friends left the store.

On the way to the saloon Tom took his suitcase and threw it on his carriage. "I'll drive you home later, but only if you help me loading after the beer."

"You're one of a kind. I shall pay the beer and still work for you?"

"Well, what can I say, Adam. I haven't changed in the time when you were away. I hope you haven't either."

"I hope I did. I've got no intention to start to go home at midnight on weekends."

Laughing, they entered the saloon and ordered two beers. "You don't want to tell me you've followed my advice?"

Adam watched him with a questioning look. "What advice?"

"That you shouldn't stick your nose only into books."

"Oh, believe me, I had my fun in Boston. There I met someone whom you would like. You are quite similar in terms of celebrating. But now tell me, what happened to you."

Tom emptied his beer and ordered two new. "Nothing has changed. I work at the ranch of my father, only that he gives me more responsibility little by little. It's quite nice on the one hand, on the other I've got less time to spend my money here in the saloon. In other ways, it hasn't changed much here, only that the town has become even greater, and we have a new sheriff who' pretty tough. I was allowed to stay three times at his hotel."

"Since I've always been the more decent of us, I will be spared this certainly."

Tom raised his glass. "Then let's bet like in the good old times. I think you'll also spend one or the other night at the sheriff's."

Slightly nodding and with an amused twinkle in his eyes Adam also raised his glass. "And what will the loser have to do?"

"To pay the beer for the other till the end of the year."

Adam raised an eyebrow somewhat surprised. "You're assuming that I still get in trouble this very year?"

"Nope, ... no time schedule!" If it happens this year, you don't have to pay long. But if it happens early next year, it'll get expensive for you, buddy."

Adam put the glass back on the counter. "I love to bet with you."

He slapped Tom slightly on the back. "Such bets you can make with your brothers, but not with me. No timing. No, my friend, no way."

Tom tried to look innocently at Adam. "Alright. Was worth a try. Let's say, till the next cattle drive. If I lose, I've to pay the rest of the year."

Adam took the glass again, the two friends toasted and drank the beer in one stroke. "Well, that was to become warm, Adam."

He was about to give the bartender the sign for a new round, as Adam grabbed his arm. "Not for me, Tom. Two are enough."

Confused Tom looked at him. "What's going on, buddy? Ain't you used to it any more?"

Before Adam could answer, two men came to stand behind the friends. "Look, the wimp's back again."

Even after all this time Adam recognized the voice immediately. He slowly turned around. "Mitch ... Buck ... it's so pleasant to see that certain things don't change. Your intelligence is still not more than a mere drop in the ocean."

Buck wanted to go after Adam right away, but Mitch stopped him by holding an arm to his chest. "Buck, we don't want to let poor Adam swallow dust once again."

Now Tom had turned around also and looked at the two. "Mitch, sit down at a table and leave us alone. Adam has just arrived back. Ain't we getting too old for this kid stuff?"

"No ..., you're just back?" He exhaled deeply. "Then you still haven't talked to the half breed."

Immediately Adam's attitude changed. Tom looked at him from the side and knew how this story would end, if he couldn't think of a way out instantly. "Come on, Mitch, I'm buying you a drink. Adam and I just wanted to go anyway."

"Oh Tom, he should know what has happened in recent years." With a dirty grin, he took a step closer to Adam. "With me she always screamed with pleasure ... with you, too?"

Tom couldn't react as quickly as Adam lunged at Mitch. In an instant the two were laying on a table, which collapsed. Adam pulled Mitch up at the collar and then sent him back to the ground with two punches. But as so often, he forgot about Buck. He pushed him out of the corner and hit him a chair over his head. Adam stumbled backward and fell on another table. Before he could stand up right again, Tom stood between him and Buck with his gun drawn. "Stay right there, Buck, and if I see only the slightest movement in the direction of your gun, you're a dead man." Tom took a few steps backward. "Adam, are you alright?"

"Yep." "Then let's go."

He grabbed his friend's arm and went backwards out of the saloon, the gun still directed on Buck. Outside he put the gun back in its holster, pushed Adam against the wall and shouted at him. "I really thought during the years in Boston you'd become more intelligent! You're less than two hours here and you already get provoked by Mitch!" He looked at his friend still angrily. "As if Koko might spend just one minute with Mitch!"

Adam leaned his head back at the wall and exhaled loudly. "I ..." Adam ran his hand through his face and looked at the blood on his hands. "... I ... I've no idea why I ..." He clenched his fists. "... when I see Mitch, I could send him crashing to the ground. And when it comes to Koko, then ..."

"And that's exactly what Mitch wants. That you take the first step." Tom's voice got quieter and more serious. "Adam, while you were gone Mitch shot two people. It could never be proved that he has drawn first. Adam ... he's gonna provoke you until he's got you where he wants you. He once said that his greatest wish is to see you at the gallows. He would stand in front with Koko in his arm and laugh."

Once again, every muscle in Adam's body tensed. "Adam, damn it, keep calm." Tom pulled his friend to his carriage. "You'll help me now to load the goods ordered, and then I'll drive you home."

Silently they loaded the carriage and drove to the Ponderosa. "Thank you, Tom. I can't really tell you why I always freak out right away. But after all I don't want to."

"I cannot understand as well, Adam. In all those past years Koko has dated no other man and with Mitch she would certainly not go out. Maybe you ought to marry her, so you'll get calmer."

"Yes, maybe it's the only way I can protect the both of us."

Lost in thought, they reached the ranch a little later. Adam jumped off the carriage and picked up his suitcase. "Thanks for everything, Tom. I will come to visit you in the next few days."

"Do that, Adam."

Adam watched his friend leaving the Ponderosa, then he looked around. Home! He was finally home. It still looked as it did when he went away. As if he had never been away. If he was lucky, Joe and Hoss were in the house. Carefully he opened the door and entered. Again, not much had changed. It seemed a bit more friendly and bright, but why, he couldn't tell. He put the suitcase down, his eyes wandered through the bottom floor and got stuck near the fireplace. His breathing stopped briefly. He hadn't expected that. He also would have to reckon with, and if he had opened one of the letters that his father had written, he had been prepared for it. With soft steps he approached the rug on the floor. He threw his hat on the settee and crouched down. Two dark eyes looked at him. "I don't suppose that you just got lost?"

At his words, the baby began to laugh and held out her hand. Adam carefully took the little hand and held it. When even the other little hand was offered, he couldn't resist. He took the still joyful laughing baby in his arms and stood up. He froze when he heard a typical clicking. Slowly he turned around. Front of him stood a woman with a gun in her hand and scowled at him. In her eyes Adam could see that she wouldn't hesitate to use the weapon against him. "I hope you have a good explanation for being in my house and having my baby in your arms."

Adam's gaze shifted from the woman to the baby and then back again. What should he tell her now? Everything he had planned seemed just to be absurd and childish. "I'm waiting ..."

He looked back at the little smiling girl. Somehow everything didn't go as he had imagined. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to like her.

With a loud crash the door opened and Adam opened his eyes again. "I told you, Hoss, I'm first. Hello, Mum."

Little Joe stopped abruptly when he saw what was going on in the living room.

"HOSS ...! "

Hoss came running into the house and stopped next to his brother. But only moments later he went with a big grin and quick steps to Adam. "ADAM! ..., Mum take down the rifle. It's Adam!"

Ben's wife put down the rifle and took the child that Adam handed her. "Hoss!"

The two brothers embraced and hugged each other. It took quite a while till Hoss let go of Adam. Adam looked at his brother. "Hoss, you have to stop eating. How big do you want to get? "

Hoss laughed loudly. "Someone has to do the real work, if you only like to work with your head."

"Hoss, I've missed you! You can't imagine how much."

"I missed you, too, big brother and what I particularly missed is how you want to explain this to Pa."

He pointed at Adam's face. Adam grinned. "As usual ... a little misunderstanding, that's out of the world now."

"Little? ..." Hoss laughed again. "... looks like a nice brawl in the saloon and smells that way."

Adam slapped his brother on the shoulder and looked at Little Joe, who was still looking at him in amazement. "Hello, Little Joe."

Head cocked, Little Joe came closer. "You look so different, Adam. So ..., so grown up."

Adam laughed. "Well, you're no longer the little boy ... though ..."

"Hey ...!"

Adam went slightly into a crouch and hugged his little brother. "I missed you, you little runt."

Even Joe didn't let go at once. "I'm not a runt. Once I'm thirteen, then I'm as big as Hoss."

Adam hugged his little brother again tightly. The next words Little Joe whispered Adam in his ear. "Adam, you're staying with us now? You're not leaving again? Now we all are again a real family, ain't we?"

Adam had to swallow briefly when he thought about what had happened in the aftermath of Marie's death and what it must have meant for Little Joe. "I'll stay, Little Joe. Promise. We are a big family again."

Adam let go of Little Joe, stood up and turned to his father's wife. He would never call her Mum, and he couldn't say whether he would allow her to be a good friend like Marie was. But for Joe and Hoss he would accept her as Ben's new wife. He took her hand. "I'm Adam. Ben's eldest son."

She smiled at him as she took his hand. "I'm Emillia and I'm pleased that you're finally home, and I can get to know you."

The little girl in her arms reached out for Adam again. Without hesitation, he took her from Emillia. "And who are you?"

Hoss came to his side. "That, Adam, is Pa's little sunshine. Her name is Sarah. And if you thought he had spoiled Little Joe, then wait and see."

Adam watched Sarah. When she laughed at his father the same way, it didn't surprise him. He himself had dropped all his intentions very quickly. "Where's Pa anyway?" "Your father's with George outside. He should actually be home soon. How about bringing your things up and getting dressed nicely, that he may not see right away what you've done in the first few hours in Virginia City?"

With a grin he gave Sarah back to Emillia, picked up his suitcase and went up the stairs.

xxxxxxx

After supper Adam walked outside and leaned against one of the posts of the porch looking at the stars. It didn't take long when he heard the door opened and someone came out. "It's good that you're back home, Adam."

His father handed him a brandy. He just raised his glass and took a sip. "Thank you, Pa."

When his father came home shortly before supper, he hadn't quite entered the house, when they both already hugged each other. Adam got the feeling that his father never wanted to let go of him and deep down inside of him he felt no differently.

"I was a bit worried whether you really come back home. I've received no letter from you for more than a year." Adam looked down. "Are you so mad at me that I married Emillia?"

Adam looked up again, but he couldn't face his father. "Not mad, Pa. I've been so angry because I didn't understand it. I've read your diary, and I wonder how you can forget all these feelings that you described there."

Ben looked at his son. He had so hoped that he could forget the terrible time after Marie's death sometime, but the way it looked, it was still very present in him. "I haven't forgotten, Adam. They are still in me, but I've learned to live with it. And as your mother wanted me to continue to live my life, it was certainly according to Marie's wishes. Adam, you're old enough now to know that you can't just repress the feeling of love, and I'm glad I can experience it once again."

Adam's head turned to his father. "You cannot? I think that you can, if you're aware that love brings the pain of loss as well."

Ben's eyebrows furrowed. "I don't understand exactly what you mean. But I hope you'll never push aside the woman that you love just because you're afraid of death."

Adam looked back at the stars. "You don't understand me, and I don't understand you, but I'm glad that you're happy again, and I'll accept Emillia. But as with Marie I hope you don't expect me to call her Mum."

"Certainly not, you're too old, that I might demand that."

Adam turned to his father. "I'm really happy to be at home again, Pa, and I won't argue with you."

Ben smiled at his son. "Neither will I, Adam. But as Marie always said, with two being as stubborn as we are, it'll never be easy."

Adam raised his glass and grinned. "Now we've got Emilia and Sarah who will chop our heads off when it's getting loud again."

Both drank a sip and smiled.


	42. Chapter 42

Ben was sitting at the breakfast table, smiling. Finally his family was complete again. Although the time after Marie's death had not been easy for him and Adam, and although it had been good that Adam had left for Boston, he had noticed yesterday how much his son had still been lacking. How great his fear had been that Adam wouldn't return. But he still couldn't understand the problem his son had with the fact that he had remarried. He was so pleased to see how warmly he treated his sister and Emillia and accepted her as his wife. Yesterday evening all three had been sitting by the fireplace for a long time and talked about the last years. And Ben could see how happy Adam was to be back home.

"Adam, how was your first night in your old room?"

"It was good, Pa. Unusual, but good."

"You've been awake very early today?"

Adam smiled. It looked like those times were past when he could get up and come back home whenever he wanted, without anyone noticing. "I couldn't sleep anymore and then I sat down on the porch with a coffee."

"I hope Sarah isn't to blame that you couldn't sleep?"

Adam looked at his sister, who laughed at him. "No, don't worry Emillia, it wasn't because of her. Believe me, Riccardo was much louder at this age. I was thinking about many things." He looked back at his father. "Pa, where is Santoro? I wanted to curry and saddle him this morning, but he wasn't in the barn."

Ben put down his cup and looked at Adam with sad eyes. He should have written him what had happened with the horse, but he also knew how much Adam had been attached to it. "You were just gone for about a month when we found him lying in the paddock. What exactly happened, we don't know, but his leg was broken." Ben closed his eyes and took another breath. "Adam, I'm sorry. We couldn't do anything for him."

Adam looked at his plate. If for all these years he had been looking forward to something, it was to ride out with Santoro across the fields. It was the first horse, his father had given him, and although it really was too big for him at that time, he had coped well with it. Adam looked back at his father. "Then I have to take another horse to ride to Koko after breakfast."

"You want to ride to Koko right away?"

Adam looked at his father in surprise. "Yes, why not?"

"Adam, you know how much we have to do at the start of fall. That's why I need you."

"Pa, ... you still couldn't count on me, so you cannot have scheduled me."

Ben's voice got serious. "But you're here now, so I expect you to work here at the ranch again. You can ride to Koko in the afternoon."

Adam leaned back. Hoss and Joe had their heads lowered slightly and grinned at each other. Yesterday evening they had bet how long it would probably take until the two would have one of their special talks again.

"You expect? No, Pa. After breakfast I'm going to ride to her and spend the day with Koko, and tomorrow I will be here for the ranch."

Ben took a deep breath and wanted to give his son an appropriate answer when he felt Emillia putting her hand on his arm and looking at him. "Ben, let Adam feel at home first. He's right that we didn't know exactly when he was to come home. And honestly ... if you hadn't seen me for so long, I hope that I'd be the first you visit and not your cattle."

Ben looked at his wife and then back to Adam. "I'm sorry, Adam. Of course you can ride to Koko."

Hoss's head snapped up with a broad grin. „Adam, I'll come with you to Koko after breakfast."

Hoss eyes darted between his father and Adam back and forth, as an emphatic "No" came from both sides.

"My dear son, you certainly won't miss school only to ride to Koko."

Hoss looked at his father. "Pa, you know exactly why I want to."

"I said no. You'll ride to school with Little Joe."

"Pa ...!"

With a loud voice his father replied. "Hoss!"

"Besides, my dear brother ..." Hoss turned his head to Adam. "... I'd love to say Hello to Koko all alone. Without you."

Head down, Hoss continued his breakfast.

XXXX

He dismounted from his horse and looked around. Even here, not much had changed. Front of the house the bank was still standing, where Koko and he had been sitting for many hours and talked about everything. And here he got the feeling he was finally home. He went to the house when the door was opened and Koko stood before him. Adam had to swallow briefly, his eyes widened and his mouth went dry. With a grin, he slowly took off his hat and put it on the table in front of the bank.

"Good morning, Miss. I'm looking for my little girlfriend Koko. Have you seen her?"

Even Koko grinned at him and crossed her arms. "She doesn't live here anymore. She's gone because her boyfriend left her alone five years ago."

Adam took a step toward Koko, took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly. She wrapped her arms around his body and kissed him. After a while their lips parted and Adam put his forehead against her forehead. "Koko, I've missed you so much. You cannot imagine how much I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too, Adam. The stone was no substitute. He never answered me."

He took her right into his arms and held her thightly. "Now we're together again and I promise, I won't go away and leave you alone ever again."

Adam could feel how she laughed. "Adam, you're making promises again, even though you don't know what the future holds."

"Because I live the moment and know that this is my home."

She broke his embrace and took a step back. "Was it that bad?"

Adam took a few steps away from the house and then turned back to Koko. "I couldn't be myself. I always had to be careful that I didn't get lost again." He gave a short laugh. "You can't imagine how hard it is to swim against the current. It took a lot of strength to stay the way I am." Then his smile returned. "But it was not all bad. I've found good friends and had a lot of fun with them."

"You mean Frederic and his family?"

"Yes, he's great guy, and I will certainly miss him."

Koko cocked her head. "And Bridget?"

Immediately Adam's face tensed and Koko could see how he briefly closed his eyes. His answer was completely emotionless. "She was also a good friend, but now she lives in New York and is happy there."

As he spoke, he had turned away from her, so that she couldn't see his eyes. She was sure that he had done that on purpose. Koko promised herself that she would talk to him about Bridget, but for now she knew it had no use. Now, as he spoke to her his voice was again normal, as if nothing had happened.

"Where are your parents? Are they already on their way so early?"

"No, they now often live down in the village. They only stay on the farm all the time starting in fall."

"They let you live here all alone? Even at night?"

She laughed when she saw his surprised face. "Yes, of course. As you say, this here is your home, the farm and the work with the horses is my life."

His lips curled into a crooked grin. "Does that mean ... if I want to buy horses in future, I have to negotiate with you and not with Amarok?"

She tried to keep a straight face. "In future, yes."

He took her in his arms again. "I think I'm already looking forward to the price negotiations."

Then he kissed her again. He still held her tight when she looked into his eyes. "I won't let me be bribed by you, Adam Cartwright."

"You won't? Then I have to get a little better."

When his kisses this time were more intense, she pushed him away a bit. "You still have to negotiate with my father."

He looked at her longingly. „But once in a while I can still practice a little, can't I?"

She slapped him gently on the chest. "You haven't changed a mite, Adam. You still think all women fall for your charm."

He gave her a little kiss and then said very softly. "Not only for that, Koko."

She grinned and only shook her head. "Koko, what do you think if we take the horses and spend the day together?"

Koko took a few steps forward. "Adam, that doesn't work. As I told you now it's me who is mainly taking care of the farm. My parents come every day, but there's still enough work left for me."

Adam put his arm around her. "Come on. I'll help you quickly and then we make a nice trip."

Adam ... I can't. What should I tell my father, if he asks me where I've been?"

"You then have to tell me that you've spent a nice day with Wynono."

Koko and Adam turned to Amarok, who now stood before them. "It's nice to see that your path has led you back, Wynono."

"It's good to be back, Amarok. The recent years have shown me where my heart belongs."

Amarok nodded knowingly. "It could have shaken my heart when I would have been so wrong about you."

Amarok looked at the two. "Koko, if you want to spend the day with Wynono, then do it. I can do your work today."

Koko's face broke into a huge smile. "Thanks."

She gave her father a kiss on the cheek and pulled Adam by the arm. "Come on, Adam."

Smiling Amarok watched as his daughter and Adam walked to the paddock.

On the fence Koko stopped and pointed to a horse that stood a bit apart from the others. "I guess you know what happened to Santoro." Adam nodded. „Still weeks thereafter Hoss was pretty much done, because you had asked him, to take good care of him. But then he had an idea, why couldn't he give you a new horse as soon as you're back. And so we have chosen this one for you. It was born the day of your departure, and Hoss and I felt that it's just the right for you."

Adam looked back from the horse to Koko. "You can't give me one of your horses."

"Yes, I can. And it's from Hoss and me. Your brother was here every day and has worked with it and believe me, it wasn't easy. For it's just like you, pig-headed and stubborn. Therefore, it will suit you well." Koko gave him the bridle. "Come on, go and get it."

Adam hesitated briefly, but then he took the bridle, climbed over the fence and approached the horse. He hadn't quite reached it as the horse already began to prance nervously, but it didn't run. Thus Adam could approach it further. Very carefully, he put his hand on the horse's neck and then slowly stroked over his shoulder and chest. "It's alright. You'll see, we both will be friends."

Constantly talking Adam put on the bridle and led it out of the paddock.

"I knew that it would suit you." Koko looked at her friend with a big grin. "Otherwise no one could get so close that quickly."

Adam tied him. "Yes, you can tell that he's still pretty wild. I'll see if I can use him for working on the ranch at all, but he's a beautiful animal. Thank you."

"Don't thank just me. As I said, Hoss has worked a lot with him. He has called him Sport."

"Now I understand why he wanted to come along this morning."

Koko's eyes looked at him sadly. "I think he didn't want to come along only because of the horse."

"Why else? Is he afraid I'm about to eat the whole cake of your mother?"

"No ... he doesn't feel comfortable at school any longer, but your father wanted him still to complete this year."

"But why has he insisted? Hoss is sixteen. Why doesn't my father let him work on the ranch, or is my dear brother about to go to the university, too?"

"Hoss? No, certainly not. I don't know why your father insists, but Hoss is desperately unhappy at school. Because he's so large, he's hardly got any friends there."

Adam stroked the horse, thinking. "Koko, what do you think if we take a trip with the horses and then pick up Hoss and Joe from school?"

"I've got a better suggestion. We ride to the Ponderosa and let them know that today you and Hoss eat with us and spend the afternoon here."

"Well ... then I'm going to get my saddle and see how I manage to ride this devil."

"And I will tell my father that we are two more today for supper."

XXXX

"Adam, you're about to sweat?"

Koko dismounted from her horse laughing. "Yes, you've given me a very special gift. It isn't easy to handle, but I think we will come together sooner or later."

He opened the door and let her go ahead. When Adam saw that Sarah crawled to him, he put his hat aside and took her on the arm.

"Well, you two have quite quickly made friends."

"Wasn't there something about my irresistible charms, Koko?"

"Sarah, don't you fall for your brother's talk."

She held a hand of Adam's sister and smiled at her. "How do you cope with Emillia? This time you were indeed prepared."

"I think she's alright and my father's happy. That's the only thing that counts and who knows how long I will still live here. Maybe I needn't get used to her so much."

Koko hesitated. "I thought you don't want to go away from here any more?"

"Oh, I don't want to, but who knows what tomorrow will bring."

His eyes sparkled with amusement as he kissed her. Only when Sarah poked her finger in his ear, they ended the kiss.

"What brings you two here?"

Adam looked past Koko. In the dining room stood Emillia and smiled at them. Koko turned and greeted Ben's wife with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "We just wanted to let you know that we will take Hoss to the farm after school and then have supper together."

"Oh, he will be glad about that. He was but crestfallen this morning that he wasn't allowed to go with Adam."

She put a hand on Koko's arm. "But on Sunday you come to us for dinner, alright?"

Koko watched Adam, who was still in the living room with Sarah on his arm. "If we don't have any other plans?"

Adam chuckled. "No, we haven't."

"Then that's settled."

Emillia looked at the clock, went to Adam and took Sarah. "Then you should hurry if you still want to be there in due time at the end of school."

Adam couldn't look as fast as Koko was out the door. "Well, Adam, as always, I will be the first at school and you will lose."

XXXX

It was very late when Adam came home. He took care of his horse and thought about the afternoon. It was fun to spend time with Koko and Hoss, and he had a long talk with his brother about the school. Even when they had picked up Little Joe and Hoss, Adam could see what Koko meant when she said that Hoss no longer fit in there. Hoss was already as big as himself and looked completely out of place beside the other children. Therefore Adam could even less understand why his father insisted on this last year. To cheer up his brother a bit he had promised to go out hunting with him before winter. Adam turned off the light in the barn and went into the house. Emillia and his father sat by the fireplace, talking. He laid aside his stuff and wished them a good evening.

"You're pretty late, son."

Adam's eyes went to the old grandfather clock. It was just before eleven o'clock. "We had a lot to tell."

His father looked at him as Adam sat in the chair opposite. "Then you should quickly get used to normal times. You're no longer in Boston. Here we get up earlier."

Adam could see Emillia slightly rolling her eyes. He had to control himself not to laugh. "Don't worry, Pa. I'll get out of bed in time."

"And what is your plan for tomorrow?"

"That's what I told you this morning. Starting tomorrow I'm going to work again here on the ranch."

With a satisfied expression, Ben leaned back in the chair. Adam could hardly believe it. Had his father really been scared that he didn't want to work on the ranch any longer?

"Pa, I would like to talk to you about Hoss."

Ben leaned forward startled. "Why, something happened to Hoss today?"

"No. Earlier he was fine. I assume that he came home well and is in his room upstairs now. Why are you so alarmed?"

"When he came home, he was very quiet and barely ate anything."

Adam was surprised. Hoss hadn't given the impression that it had upset him to talk about the school. All along they had accompanied Aponi to the village, then had gone back and Hoss rode straight home afterwards. He couldn't imagine why his brother afterwards felt so bad. "I can't tell you what bothered him. When he rode off, everything was fine, but I wanted to talk to you about the school."

"Has he got any problems?"

"Pa, why don't you let him work here? He no longer wants to go to school after all."

Instantly Adam got an angry glance from his father. "Little Joe doesn't want to go to school, too. Should I leave both at home?"

Adam took a deep breath. "You know exactly what I mean, Pa. Did you pick up Hoss lately? Pa, he's already as tall as me, and in this one year he won't learn anything substantial."

Ben looked at his wife. "Don't look at me this way, Ben. You know my opinion."

Ben sat back and looked at the ceiling. "But Hoss is still a kid."

"Pa ...!"

Ben looked at Adam and Emillia and laughed. "I think I'm getting old. Now already two of my sons are working with me on the ranch all day. I guess I'll have to put up with the thought that one day I've got nothing more to say here."

Adam stood up and filled two glasses with brandy and handed one to his father. "This year you still call the shots, but then ..."

With a smile, they toasted.


	43. Chapter 43

With pain in his arms and legs, he got off his horse. As for the pain in his butt, he didn't want to mention at all. For a week Adam had been working again on the Ponderosa and noticed very clearly that he had been working almost exclusively with his head in recent years. Fairly done, he led Sport to his box. "And you don't make it much easier."

Today Sport had thrown him twice, when he was about to drive back stray cattle. But Koko and Hoss were right, he was an extraordinary animal, and Adam didn't give up easily. He would give Sport time till spring to get used to the work on the ranch. Would he then still be so nervous and wild, he might have to look for another horse for work.

Adam loosened the strap and took the saddle from Sport when he heard a soft sobbing from above. He packed away the saddle and looked up to the hayloft. Yes, he hadn't been mistaken. Someone was up there, and he also knew who that was. He slowly climbed the ladder and sat down next to his brother. Little Joe wiped away the tears with his sleeve and turned away from his brother. "Leave me alone, Adam!"

"What's going on, Joe?"

"I told you to leave me alone."

Astonished Adam raised his eyebrows. "Once before you used to tell me everything bothering you. Not any more?"

Little Joe glanced at him angrily and then back in another direction. Adam took his brother's chin in hand, turned his head back and looked at the black eye. Joe slapped the hand away and turned his back on him. "It's all your fault!"

"Mine?"

Adam couldn't hide his confusion. Without looking at him his brother answered him very harshly.

"Of course yours! Because you've interfered."

"Joe, the last days I was just outside on the pasture to catch stray cattle. So if you don't owe your black eye to one of our animals, then I don't know how I could be blamed."

"Why don't you go back to Boston? Then everything would still be the same."

Adam said nothing first. He was quite shocked by the words of his brother. What had he done in only one week that Joe didn't want him around any longer? He touched his brother slightly on the shoulder. "Joe, I've really got no idea what I've done. Please tell me."

"Why should I do that? You can't change anything about it now."

Adam took his brother by the shoulders and looked at him directly. "Joe, whatever I've done, I'd never watch someone else hurting you. So please tell me now, what happened, and why I am to blame for your black eye."

Little Joe couldn't look any longer into Adam's eyes and lowered his gaze. "You've persuaded Pa that Hoss no longer needs to go to school, and now I've got to live with the concequences."

"What's Hoss got to do with it?"

Little Joe drew up his legs and rested his chin on his knees. "As long as Hoss was in school, I never got into a fight with the others, because they were afraid of him. And if it was on the brink of fight Hoss intervened immediately." Little Joe's eyes looked up to his brother. "Now I get almost daily trouble with the older boys."

"And why do you get into trouble with them?"

Little Joe looked back at his knees. "Because …. I ... well, I ..., it could be that sometimes I say the wrong things."

Adam cocked his head and smirked. "Well, I'm only a short time back home, but I think that might be right."

The corners of Little Joe's mouth went up slightly and he grinned a little. "And why are you sitting up here? Did you get a letter from school and now you're afraid of Pa?"

Little Joe shook his head. "I wanted to hide here, so that I don't have to go to school any more."

"That's nonsense, and you know that, Little Joe."

Joe shrugged. "But what else can I do? You certainly won't convince Pa that I can stay at home." Adam only nodded. "Well, then I only have this chance."

Adam looked at him seriously. "Little Joe, you know very well that Pa doesn't like when you skip school, or one of us gets into a fight and surely not at school."

Joe spoke very softly. "About that Pa doesn't have to worry. I will never fight in school or anywhere at all."

Adam pricked up his ears. Hoss would say that to him, but Little Joe? "Joe, what else happened at school?"

Instead of giving Adam an answer, Little Joe buried his head in his crossed arms. Adam put his hand on his little brother's shoulder and spoke to him in a soft voice. "Hey, Joe. What's going on? You know you can trust me. We've always found a solution, when you had a problem. Even now I promise you that I'm here for you."

Little Joe's back rose and fell as he took a deep breath and exhaled. "I've never been in a real fight with others and now everyone laughed at me when I hurt myself during the fight."

Joe showed his brother his thumb, which was turning slightly black. "When I held my thumb, Trevor could punch me and then I sat on the floor."

He looked back up to Adam and bawled at his brother. "And that wouldn't have happened if Hoss was still at school!"

Adam took his brother's hand and looked at the thumb. "When punching you had your thumb in your fist. Am I right?"

"I don't know."

"Make the other hand into a fist and hit me."

Little Joe's eyes became big and he looked at Adam. "I cannot hit you!"

"Yes, you can. Come on, go ahead, you little dwarf."

Little Joe's eyes flashed briefly when Adam barked out at him this way. "No, I won't!"

Adam pushed him around with both hands. "Come on, defend yourself or are you scared?"

Little Joe got up quickly and swung his fist. Just before he could hit his brother's face, Adam held his fist and smiled. He carefully turned Little Joe's hand so that his brother could see. "Where is your thumb, Joe?"

Still furious Joe looked to his hand and then back to Adam. "But where else should it be?"

"Joe, if you keep the thumb there, it cannot only be very painful, but you can also break your thumb."

Adam took the little thumb out of the fist and put it over the knuckles. "If you're in a fight, you always leave your thumb outside the fist. Then you won't hurt yourself any more. And now hit me vigorously."

Adam held out his arm and looked at his brother encouragingly. He hesitated a bit, but then struck. "Come on, Joe, harder! Just remember how mad you are at me because I persuaded Pa that Hoss no longer has to go to school."

Every blow from Joe became stronger and his grin widened. After several blows Adam held Joe's hand with a laugh. "I think you've got it."

Joe sat on the ground, still grinning. "But don't you think that you can smash all the other guys to pieces by tomorrow." He took again the small hand with the blackening thumb. "If it returns to normal again, I'll teach you the basics of a good schoolyard brawl. Till then you should hold back with your big mouth, or you'll come back home with a black eye every day."

In complete disbelief Joe looked at Adam. "You want to teach me how I can fight at school?"

"I want to show you how you can defend yourself."

"If Pa finds out, he'll be angry with you."

Adam sat next to his brother and put his arm around him. "Little Joe, you haven't to worry about that. I'll even tell Pa what I'm teaching you. But you should worry what to tell Pa if you give him Mr. Conner's letter."

Adam had pulled a letter out of Joe's pocket. Looking at him Little Joe turned a bit green around the gills. "Can't you do that? Or even better, can't you sign the letter?"

"No, little brother. That you have to do yourself. If you screw up, you have to take the consequences."

Joe's shoulders slumped slightly. "Come on, Joe. Let's go in. Lunch should be ready soon."

Suddenly Joe turned to Adam and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Adam and I don't really want you to go back to Boston. I want you to stay with us."

"You won't get rid of me so fast, Joe. I'm staying here. Promise."

XXXXXXX

"Good morning, Adam."

"Good morning, Emillia."

Adam sat on the porch and drank his first coffee of the morning. Even though it was mid November and already very cold, he decided to get up before the others and to drink his first coffee outside. "Can I join you?"

"If it isn't too cold?"

She held up a cup. "Fortunately you've made enough. This will warm me." She sat down to the table. "You came home very late, or more precisely rather early."

Adam slowly turned his head to her. She immediately raised her hand when she saw his gaze. "Adam, don't worry. I'm the last one to say anything. You are grown up and were responsible for yourself in the past few years, but you know the ears of your father."

With a deep sigh Adam looked back toward the stable. Again he had got accustomed to everything, but not to the fact that his father constantly watched, when he came home at night. In recent weeks there had however been the one or other little dispute. "Are you telling me I should just ride out before breakfast?"

Emillia laughed. "Well, I hope I've calmed him down enough that he won't rip your head off."

She considered her next words carefully. Since she got along surprisingly well with him, she didn't want to ruin that. When Ben got no more letters from Adam after the wedding, she had expected the worst. "Adam ... I ... I don't want to interfere in your life, but today I really had trouble keeping your father from running downstairs when you came home." Again she made a short break. "Adam, don't you think it would be a good time to change your relationship with Koko?"

Adam looked at her in astonishment. "What has Koko to do with the fact that Pa is angry with me?"

Now Emillia looked at him in astonishment. "Well, Adam, I don't know how you've lived in Boston, but I can understand your father, that he's not thrilled that you come home from Koko in the early hours of the morning."

Adam rubbed the ridge of his nose. "I can reassure you, tonight I wasn't at Koko's. I was with Tom."

"I'm sorry, Adam."

Adam drank another sip from his cup. " It's alright. I find it just a little exhausting that I'm apparently constantly accountable, where I go at night, and how long I stay out."

"I can understand that, Adam, and I try to explain that to Ben time and again that you're no longer the boy who went to Boston. But believe me, it's not easy. That's why I think you should marry Koko this year, then you can live on the farm, where you can be your own boss."

"Do you want me out of the house?"

Emillia put her hand over her mouth and looked at him with eyes opened wide. "Oh, my God, Adam! I hope that you don't really think ...?"

She didn't go on when she noticed how he grinned. She couldn't help to grin, too. "But Koko has already prepared me that you have a very dry humor ... Adam, I certainly don't want to drive you out of the house, but I also see you suffering a little under the situation with your father. Koko and you, you've known each other for so long, and you're as good as every evening with her and ... "

"I wasn't with Koko for three days. We had a dispute."

"Adam, everyone has hassles now and then. That isn't the end of a relationship or friendship."

Adam leaned forward on his knees and rubbed with a finger on his forehead. "I don't think our friendship will break, but if Koko and I are getting married, I don't know."

She looked at her stepson a long time before she spoke with him. "Adam, are you afraid of getting married?"

Very slowly, Adam leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. For almost a year he planned not to like Emillia, and now he talked to her here on the porch about Koko and his feelings. With closed eyes, he answered. "Did Koko tell you how we first met?"

„Koko, Hoss, your Pa and even Little Joe. All have told me about you both, and your father firmly expects that Koko will be his daughter in law."

She saw that Adam still had his eyes closed and breathed deeply and still didn't answer her question, even after a few minutes.

"Why were you against the marriage of Ben and me?"

Motionless Adam sat on the chair, only his cheekbones moved and showed how upset he was inwardly. "Emillia, could we please change the subject?"

She shook her head. "You are very much like your father. He also thinks if you don't talk about a personal problem, then it'll be gone with time. But you're mistaken, both of you. It'll be your constant companion, and I'm almost sure that you started the dispute with Koko because your relationship has become very tight in recent weeks. You cannot run from it, Adam. You have to face your problem, only then you can find a solution and ... be happy."

Emillia prayed that she hadn't gone too far with her words. But because Adam was quite similar to his father, she hoped like Ben he would think about what she had said.

Adam stood up and took his cup. "But not today, Emillia."

He went to the door, but then remained at the end of the porch and turned again to her. "Yes, you're right, Emillia. I had a problem with the fact that you and Pa got married, but now I'm glad that you're here, and I thank you for understanding me."

She rose from the chair and reached him with a few steps. "I'll be there, Adam, if it's the right day in your eyes."

He nodded, took her cup and went into the house.

XXXXX

This time she wasn't sitting in front of the house when he came to the farm. Adam dismounted and knocked on the door. Koko opened, and Adam looked at her guiltily while she crossed her arms and didn't intend to let him into the house. "Happy Birthday, Koko."

She didn't move an inch. "Koko, don't make it so hard for me."

She took a step closer and poked him with her finger against the chest. "Adam Cartwright, you haven't changed a bit in Boston. On the contrary, you have become worse. If it doesn't work out the way you imagine and someone else has a different opinion, then you can be really nasty."

Adam dropped his head and put his hands in his pockets. "I know it was my fault that we were arguing, and that I was willing to put up with it that day, but ..."

"No buts, Adam. You cannot be so mean to me and not show up for days, and then just knock on the door and think everything would be alright again."

He stood upright. "Koko, what do you expect from me now?"

She looked into his eyes and leaned to his chest. He carefully took her in his arms. "I don't know, Adam. I intended so firmly, to be angry with you and by no means to spend my birthday with you, but I cannot."

"Koko, you still remember the talk we had down by the creek before I left?"

"Of course, Adam ... I think often about it lately."

He stroked her hair. "Koko, I've got no idea in which rhythm our hearts beat."

"Me neither, Adam."

"What do we do now?"

She took a step back and looked at him. "Adam, as long as you don't talk to me about Bridget, we both don't know how it will go on with the two of us."

Again he had turned away his head when she mentioned Bridget, and she couldn't look him in the eye. "I told you she was just a good friend and now lives in New York."

"And why can't you look me in the eyes?"

"I can look into your eyes."

"Yes, now."

"Koko, I'm here with you and not in New York. Isn't that enough?"

Without taking her eyes off of him, she cocked her head. "How are you going to start something new, if you haven't completed the old yet?"

His voice got a little deeper. "We keep talking about me, but how about you? At that time you said you don't have butterflies in your tummy when it comes to us. What now? What feelings do you have for me now?"

Neither of them broke eye contact. "Maybe we should take it a little slower, Adam."

"I agree."

Without taking his eyes of her, he lowered his head and smiled slightly. "Will I get nevertheless a piece of your birthday cake?"

She took his hand and walked with him into the house. "But only one piece. I had to promise Hoss that I take care that you don't eat the whole cake alone. So he would get some if he drops by later."

Smiling, she closed the door behind them.


	44. Chapter 44

George looked at his list and shook his head. "What's the situation, George? How much do you have listed?"

Ben stood next to his foreman and both compared their notes. "We can't have lost so many cattle over the winter! It was far too mild."

"That I can't imagine either, Mr. Cartwright, but maybe your son has found some."

Ben followed the gaze of his foreman and noticed Adam riding up. Adam had barely dismounted when his father was already with him. "Adam, tell me you have found some."

"Not as many as you've hoped for, Pa."

His father looked back at his list and then resignedly put his hands to his sides. "Pa, I still think that we can find some. The winter was so mild that they are likely to have been straying farther away. What do you think about Hoss and me riding over to the South Pass and checking there?"

Ben pushed back his hat. "That's pretty far away from the places where they are otherwise."

"It's worth trying, Mr. Cartwright. Because I don't think that we've lost so many during winter or that rustlers were at work. There are just too many missing."

Ben again glanced at his list and nodded. "Well, then do so, Adam. But please ride off at once, otherwise you're back late."

"Don't you worry, Pa. Hoss will be in bed on time."

Ben's eyes looked up angrily at his son, who mounted his horse with a grin.

Adam didn't take long to find Hoss and together they rode towards the South Pass. "Do you really think that we'll find the cattle there?"

"I'm actually almost sure. There are already the best pastures, and I don't know where they might be otherwise."

"If you're right, Adam, it won't be easy to drive'em back. We'll be quite behind our schedule."

"Would you rather go back to school?"

Hoss laughed out loud. "Certainly not. Since I'd rather prefer to ride with you to San Francisco, if I have to."

"I'll take your word for it, Hoss."

A while they rode on without talking. "Adam, will Koko come on Sunday to us for dinner or do you go to her?"

"We haven't talked about it yet. I think we'll discuss it on Saturday when we go for a dance to town. Why do you want to know?"

Hoss cocked his head and looked down. "Oh, just like that."

"Well, what's the reason you asked me?"

His brother slipped uncomfortably on the saddle back and forth. "Well, yes ... when you were in Boston, I was with Koko every day. Now I see her only if you are at dinner with us."

"Do you miss working with the horses?"

"That, too."

"Too?"

Hoss sat back upright. "It's alright, Adam. Let's find them crazy critters."

Adam held the reins of Hoss' horse and brought them both to a halt. "Hoss, what's wrong?"

His brother blushed and looked down. "I've enjoyed working with Koko. It was fun, but now, since you're back ..."

As he felt quite unpleasant with this whole conversation, he didn't go on. "You've enjoyed working with her on the farm?"

Hoss nodded slightly. "Why don't you talk with Koko and Pa? Maybe you can work there now and then."

"Why? Once you two get married, you'll just work at the farm, and Pa won't let us both go."

"Hoss, you can ask Pa. Koko and I certainly won't marry during the next months."

Amazed Hoss looked at him. "But Pa firmly reckon it."

"Pa can gladly do that, but Koko and I will decide for ourselves what to do, and until now we don't want to get married." Hoss glance went down. "Sorry Hoss, I didn't mean to bellyache, but I think I need to talk to our father and ..." Adam's face relaxed again. "... you talk with Koko and then with Pa, and if he says no, you can come to me."

The head further down, only Hoss' eyes looked at him. "Adam, I don't want you to have a dispute with Pa because of me."

"Let's first of all see what Koko says and then we'll see."

"Thank you, Adam."

"No problem and now let's go, or we might be heading home really late at night."

They let their horses start moving and rode on in direction of the South Pass.

They hadn't quite reached their destination as Hoss pointed in one direction and grinned at his brother. "Adam, you son of a gun! You were right. There are those critters getting fat and round."

Adam leaned on the saddle horn and grinned. "Hoss, I think, when we tell Pa, he'll allow you everything."

Hoss laughed loudly and slapped Adam on the back. "Then you should talk to him this evening."

Adam straightened up again. "Although I'm sure, let's see if it's really our cattle."

As Adam had expected, these were the missing cattle. After a quick review they wanted to make their way back to the Ponderosa. Suddenly Sport shied and didn't want to keep going on. "What's wrong, buddy? I thought we were beyond this point."

Adam wanted Sport to trot again when the horse turned sideways and rose. Everything happened so fast, that Adam could no longer hold on and dropped out of the saddle. Hoss jumped off his horse and pulled Sport away from Adam. "Adam, are you hurt?"

Adam sat on the ground and looked at Hoss. "Only my pride."

Hoss stroked Sport and tried to calm him. "I thought he has become calmer, Adam."

"He actually is. I hope he won't fall back into his old habits. I'd like to keep him."

Adam just wanted to get up when he froze and turned as white as a sheet. No two yards in front of him were several snakes and one of them meandered slowly towards him. As he was barely able to speak, his voice was but a whisper. „Hoss …"

Hoss went around Sport and followed Adam's glance. "Hoss, do something ..."

Hoss went to the snake, picked it up and turned to Adam. "Adam, it's perfectly harmless. You can touch it."

Hoss was showing him the snake. Adam crawled backward with eyes wide open. After a few yards he got up and walked rapidly to a creek in near distance. Surprised Hoss looked at his brother. Then he put the snake down, took the reins of both horses and went to Adam. Adam knelt by the creek, pouring water in his face and trying to breathe normally. Hoss stood behind him, still surprised. He knew that Adam didn't like snakes, but he had never reacted like this before. "Better?"

Adam put his hands on his knees, took a deep breath and nodded slightly. "Adam, why are you so afraid of snakes? They were completely harmless."

His brother ran his hand over his face. "Adam, please tell me!"

Adam closed his eyes. Images of his childhood appeared. Images, of which he actually didn't want to think of. He opened his eyes and looked at his brother. Then he sat down onto the ground, leaning against a stone. Hoss sat down opposite him and waited. "It was shortly after Inger's death, we had just found a place to camp for the next two days."

Adam's memories returned to this time ...

XX

... Very carefully Adam tucked his little brother into bed. He was glad that today Hoss fell asleep quite quickly after dinner. Since he was getting his teeth Hoss was quite cranky and slept very badly. Quietly Adam left the wagon and went to his father. "Pa?"

Ben turned to Adam. "Is Hoss asleep?"

"Yes, Sir. Pa, can ... "

Ben raised his hand. "Have you taken care of the wagon for the night?"

Adam blew a deep breath. Yes, Sir. Pa, but can ..."

"So you even looked for wood for the fire?"

Adam's shoulders slumped. "Yes, Sir."

Ben stood in front of him with arms crossed and smiled. "And what do you want to do now, son?"

Adam handed him a book. "I'd like to read one of Mum's books down at the water."

Ben took the book, looked at it and smiled. It was the book Inger and Adam had most liked to read together at last when they sat by the fire in the evening. He handed it back to his son. "Do that, but take good care of it. I don't want it to be broken or lost."

"Of course, Pa."

Adam turned and was about to walk to the water when his father called his name again. "Adam, remember your brother doesn't sleep for more than an hour, so don't forget time."

"Can't Mrs. Hu ..."

"Adam, he's your brother and not Mrs. Hunter's son. I only ask her if there's no alternative."

" Yes, Sir."

Of course, Adam wasn't quite thrilled about the fact that he only had such a short time, but it was better than nothing. So he made his way down to the water. There he sat down on a tree and started reading. He had only read a few pages when a shadow fell on the book. Adam looked up and saw three other guys before him. "What do you want, Walter?"

Adam's voice couldn't hide that he was slightly annoyed. "What you got there, Adam?"

"I'm reading a book about the wildlife in California."

"Can I have a look?"

Before Adam even could answer, Walter had snatched the book from his hands and flicked through it. Adam was on his feet right away and about to reach for the book. "Give it back to me. I don't want it to be broken."

"There are hardly any images. Why do you like it at all?"

"I read it and now give it back to me."

Walter laughed out. "You're a real braggart and a dirty, little liar, Adam. As if you could already read. Same as us you haven't set foot in a school."

"But I can read, now give it back to me."

Walter turned his back on him and turned the pages. "Look. Finally a picture."

Walter showed his two friends the image of a snake. "This is a snake we've seen before." He turned back to Adam and showed him the picture. "And Adam, if you already can read, you surely know if it's poisonous or not."

Adam tried once again to grab the book but without success. "Walter, give it back to me."

"First you answer my question."

Adam clenched his hands into fists. "I don't know, I haven't read up to there yet."

Laughing Walter looked for his friends. "You see! He lied. His father's reading him the book."

Adam went a step forward. "No, my mum and I have read the book together and talked about the content, but we didn't ..."

Adam didn't go on, as he thought of the time with Inger. "What's wrong, Adam? Do you start to cry like your little brother? Do you have no mom, who's reading you a bedtime story in the evening?"

With both hands Adam pushed Walter. He staggered back a few steps, but he held the book firmly in his hands. Then he turned and ran. His friends and Adam ran after him. Suddenly Walter stopped holding up the book. "Well, Adam, if you admit now that you cannot read, but are just a stupid braggart, you'll get the book back."

"I CAN read and now just give it back to me."

Walter took down the book looking at Adam with pity. "Oh, I'm so bad, Adam. And I shouldn't be."

He grinned at his friends and offered the book to Adam. The moment Adam wanted to grab it, Walter opened his hand and let it fall. Adam lunged forward, but couldn't prevent that the book fell into a pit. "Walter, you bring it up at once."

"Oh, I can't, Adam. You haven't answered my question. Therefore, I don't know whether the snakes are poisonous down there or not."

"Snakes?"

Adam looked down into the pit. Now that he took a closer look, he could see that the bottom was moving. He just went to turn back to Walter, when he pushed him into the pit. With a loud cry Adam fell down. "When you get out there again, you can tell us whether they are poisonous."

Laughing Walter ran off with his friends. Adam hadn't yet recovered from the fall, as he already felt snakes crawling over his body. He didn't dare to move fearing that he might be bitten. It didn't take long and the first snakes were meandering across his face. Adam couldn't prevent tears of fear rising in his eyes. When he was almost completely covered by the serpents, and he hadn't been bitten, although he was trembling all over, he assumed that they weren't poisonous. But it was still a long time till he really dared to stand up. All the time his tears were running, and he wished he could call for his father. But because he was afraid to open his mouth, he only cried for him in his thoughts. When he realized that it was getting dark, he carefully moved his arms. In no case he wanted to stay down here in the dark. To lift the other arm had been a mistake. The snakes being there all slipped into his face. With a leap Adam jumped up and gasped for air. But panic didn't subside. Trembling and softly whining he stood in the middle of the pit. Carefully, he went a step ahead. Some of the animals he could feel under his pant leg. Adam touched the wall of the pit. He was lucky that it wasn't so high. Without problems he'd be able to climb out of it. He was about to escape when he remembered the book. It had to be somewhere on the ground. He anxiously watched the snakes. He didn't want to search the ground with his hands, but if he returned without the book, he knew that he'd have a problem with his father. He would be lucky if he didn't get any punishment for being late at the camp. With trembling legs and hands, he knelt down and examined the ground for the book. An eternity passed before he held it in his hands at last. Adam quickly tucked it into his waistband and climbed out of the pit. Above he shook himself, trying to get rid of the last snakes which had got entangled in his clothes. Adam had only one wish. To run as quickly as possible into his father's arms. He had reached the camp and saw his father standing near the large fire with some other men. "Pa, ..."

Completely out of breath, he looked at his father. He turned toward him, and Adam could see instantly how angry he was with him. "Adam! Go to the wagon! Mrs Hunter has to look after her own family."

"But Pa, I ..."

"ADAM, DO WHAT I TELL YOU!"

Adam hung his head. His voice was very quiet. „Pa, …"

„ADAM!"

Without looking at his father Adam turned around and wanted to head for the wagon. "Adam, about that you're back too late, we'll talk tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Sir."

Adam reached the wagon, and Mrs Hunter only shook her head. "Oh boy, I can tell you, your father's pretty mad at you."

Adam didn't raise his head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hunter."

"It's alright, son. I like to watch Hoss. He has eaten and just fallen asleep."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hunter."

On the way out she stroked his hair and wished him a good night. Adam took the book from his waistband and undressed slowly. Why could his father never listen? When again tears were running down his face, he wiped them off with his sleeve. He would like to sleep here in the wagon with Hoss, but as always he had to sleep under the wagon. Asking his father now, if he might allow an exception, he didn't dare. So he took his bedroll, looked to Hoss one more time and left the wagon. Despite trembling and tears Adam slept at some point due to exhaustion. However, during the night he woke up repeatedly bathed in sweat because he had dreamed of snakes.

In the morning he was awakened by Hoss' weeping. Still totally tired and done by the events of the previous evening, he crawled out from under the wagon. Adam looked into the wagon and saw his father taking care of Hoss. "Good morning, Adam. Get dressed and then come to me, so we can talk."

"Yes, Sir."

Adam took his time getting dressed, because he guessed what would happen to him. But at last he stood in front of his father. "Adam, I know how you like to read, but you cannot forget about time like that. I must rely on you. I only can be glad that Mrs Hunter had time to look after Hoss."

"Yes, Sir."

Ben placed his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Adam, I'm sorry that I've yelled at you last night, but the meeting was very important."

"It's alright, Pa."

"Come here and let me hug you, son."

Adam took a step back. "Pa, I'm getting too old for such a thing. The little time you have, you should save for Hoss."

Quite surprised at the reaction of his son Ben raised his eyebrows. "I'm going to have breakfast, Pa."

"Do that, Adam." ...

XXXXX

... Adam paused. Now you know why I'm afraid of snakes. I can't help it. As soon as I only see a snake, I'm starting to sweat."

Hoss took a deep breath. "I think you can try as much as you want talking to snakes. It won't work between them and you."

Adam laughed lightly. "That's why I leave it up to you. Amarok can tell me as often as he wants that I ought to speak with animals. Snakes and I will never speak the same language."

Hoss stood up and shook hands with his brother. "I'm going to always check your bedroll so no snake will hide in there when we're at the cattle drive in summer."

"Thanks, Hoss. I gladly accept."

They got on their horses, and Adam leaned over. "And I will keep you, too, Sport. You're afraid of snakes as I am. Then I can be sure you'll always make a wide berth around them."

He slapped Sport's neck, and then the two brothers rode back home.

XXXX

Why he tiptoed, he didn't know. He knew that no one was there. Quietly he opened the top desk drawer and took the gun in his hand. Little Joe looked at the weapon from all sides. Since last week when he had seen Adam teaching Hoss how to shoot, he wanted to try it himself. But as Pa certainly wouldn't allow him to, he had to do it secretly. Still his eyes on the gun, he left the house. He pulled the bench between the house and barn and then put some cans on it. Then he walked a few steps back. Pa and Mum wouldn' be back home for another two hours. Hoss was with Koko, and Adam would certainly have a beer in town with Tom. He had enough time to practice and then put the gun back. He stood with legs apart. His gaze was fixed on the cans. Then he took the gun, closed one eye and took aim. Joe was surprised how heavy it was in his hands. For Adam that always looked so easy. Fully concentrated he tried to keep the gun at balance. He slowly pulled the trigger. He had his tongue in the corner of his mouth. As the bang exploded Little Joe was so frightened that he fell backwards to the ground. "Wow!"

Laughing, he stood up to see if he had hit a can. But then he froze. A few yards behind the bench Adam was lying on the ground.


	45. Chapter 45

Motionless Little Joe stood in front of the bench and watched his brother on the ground. „Adam…?"

His voice was but a whisper. As if in trance he walked slowly behind the bench .„Adam…?"

Again, it was only a whisper. He stood with his brother and looked at him with frightened eyes. Then his breathing stopped. On the letters that were lying beside and bellow Adam, a sea of blood formed. Little Joe overcame being rigid of fear and looked around rushed. What should he do now? How would he explain to Pa that he had shot Adam? He looked back to the ground. Adam didn't move. He was sure his brother was dead. Where should he go now? Would he go to jail, be hanged? Without thinking about it, he ran off, hid the cans and put the bench back where it belonged. He put the gun back into the desk drawer. Then he ran back to the garden, climbed a tree and waited to see what would happen.

XXX

Adam unsaddled Sport, took the mail from his saddlebag and looked through it. In town he had talked with Grace for so long that he hadn't gotten to read the mail. A wide grin spread across his face when he noticed a letter from Frederic was among the mail. He must have written it just before the final exams of the fourth year. Adam wondered if his friend already knew what he would do after graduation or better, would do now. It was the end of June and he would certainly have been working somewhere. Adam wanted to get a coffee and then read the letter before all the others would come home. His head snapped up when he heard a gun was cocked. He quickly realized the situation before his eyes. Little Joe stood not ten feet away from him with a gun in his hand. It looked like he wanted to shoot at cans that stood before him. But as he held the gun, he would hit anything, but not those cans. Before he could call his brother, he heard a bang. Adam lunged aside. Even in flight, he felt he was hit just above the left hip. His leap was stopped when he hit his head on the water trough. He quickly got up and staggered back a few steps. Then, however, his legs gave in and his world went black.

„Adam …..?"

He slowly opened his eyes. Someone was shaking his shoulder. „Adam ...?"

He instantly closed his eyes again as he felt dizzy when he wanted turn his head. Adam wanted to get up, but a strong pain into his left side made him fall to the ground again.

"Adam, stay still. You are wounded in the head and somewhere on the belly. I'll carry you to your room."

Adam didn't dare to nod, fearing that he would get dizzy again. So he let himself be lifted by Hoss and carried into the house. All the way up he clenched his teeth in pain so that his jaw hurt. Hoss laid him cautiously on the bed and unbuttoned his shirt. "Dad-burnit, Adam ... that's a gunshot. Who did this?"

Before Adam's eye the image of Little Joe appeared with the gun in his hand. If Hoss didn't know what had happened, it meant that his little brother hadn't looked for help, and must have removed all traces. "I ... I do not know."

He clenched his teeth again, as Hoss took a closer look at the wound at his side. "I'll go down quickly to look for Hop Sing and send one of the men into town to get the doctor." He put his hand on Adam's chest. "I'll be right back, Adam."

Adam closed his eyes and nodded cautiously. His room door closed and Adam wondered where his little brother was now. Certainly Little Joe would just certainly beat himself up with guilt. Adam wanted to sit up, to go looking for his brother, so he could talk to him. At this moment, however, as he leaned on his elbows, he cried out in pain and fell back into bed and was glad that the blackness of unconsciousness returned.

Little Joe couldn't stay any longer at the tree. With every minute that he sat there on the bough, he knew that he had quite screwed up. He should never have left Adam just there.

With slumped shoulders, he opened the door of the house. He had the door handle still in hand as his father was running right towards him. "Joseph, there you are!"

His father took him into his arms and held him tightly. Quite surprised by the reaction, Joe said nothing. Ben let go of Little Joe, looking at him up and down. "Are you alright? Did anything happen to you?"

Joe shook his head, still amazed at what was just happening. "Pa, I think Joe doesn't know what's exactly going on."

"Joe, where have you been in the last hours?"

"In the garden."

More he didn't dare to say. "Then you haven't realized that Adam was shot?"

"Is he ... dead?"

Ben took him in his arms again. "No, son. He's hurt quite badly, but the doctor said, he'll pull through. He has also been asking for you."

Little Joe shrugged. Ben ran his hand through his hair. "We had feared that the one who shot your brother got you, too. I'm so glad you're alright."

Little Joe looked at his father with wide eyes. When Adam was awake, why hadn't he told what had happened? He must have seen that he had shot at him. Little Joe was sure that he hadn't hit Adam in the back.

"Don't worry, Joseph. He'll soon be back on his feet. He sleeps now and your mother is with him. You can visit him tomorrow morning before you have to go to school."

Ben stood up and Hoss grabbed Little Joe on the shoulder. "Come on, buddy. You must be hungry."

He took his brother and went to the kitchen with him.

XX

Little Joe was sitting in his room at the table and tried to concentrate on his homework. It had been two weeks since he had shot his brother. So far he hadn't dared to visit Adam in his room. Why had he thought of the stupid idea of taking the gun without talking to Pa about it? If he could only make the whole thing just undone. He was glad that Adam's wounds healed quickly and the gunshot hadn't inflamed. He looked at the letter, which lay between his school stuff. It was the fourth in the last two weeks and this time Mr. Conner wanted to talk with his father in person. But as he had signed the last two himself, he couldn't give this one to his father. But Joe couldn't focus properly in school any longer because his thoughts were only with Adam. If Mr. Conner then addressed him, he gave snotty answers, although he didn't really wanted to. He let his head drop on the table and began to cry. Next week was his birthday, but he wasn't in the mood for celebrating. Little Joe shrugged when he felt a hand on his back. He raised his head, turned around cautiously and looked at Adam standing before him. At once he jumped up and put his arms around Adam, still crying. "I didn't want that, Adam. Please, you have to believe me."

Adam waited until his brother had calmed down. Then he gently pushed Little Joe away and sat down at edge of the bed. "I know that, Little Joe."

Joe stood sniffling in front of him. "I just left you there ... I thought ... I thought you were ..."

"Joe, how could you just get such a crazy idea? You know exactly how dangerous it can be when you play around with a gun."

"I saw you shooting cans with Hoss, and I wanted to do it, too."

Since his wound still hurt, Adam changed his sitting position slightly. When his father would see that he had got up, he would certainly scold him, but he really wanted to talk to Joe. "Why didn't you just ask?"

Joe looked down. "Pa surely would have said no."

"How can you be sure?"

His brother shrugged and looked at him again. "Joe, I could have been dead, just because you've done something, without thinking about it."

"Never again will I touch a gun, Adam. I promise."

"If you've got no intention to leave the Ponderosa after school, you know that this isn't possible. Out here you need a gun to survive." Adam put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Joe, you really need to start thinking about your actions. You're not a little boy anymore. Not much longer and your punishment will no longer be just a talk in the barn, but a talk with the sheriff."

"I know that, Adam! But at that moment when I had the gun in my hand, I didn't think about what could happen. I only had seen ..." Joe dropped his head again. "... the fun."

Adam took a breath. Since his brother was a little boy, he kept trying to explain to him that he should think first before acting, but the way it looked, Joe still hadn't understood. "Joe, you have to tell Pa the truth."

Startled Joe stepped back. "I can't, Adam. He'll hate me for it and certainly hand me over to the Sheriff."

"Yes, he'll be very upset and certainly will have a talk with you in the barn, but he won't hate you, Joe. You are his son and he loves you."

Forcefully Joe shook his head. "No ... No ... he'll never forgive me. He loves you much more than me."

Adam took Joe's hand. "That's nonsense. He loves all the four of us the same. What I once said to you. If you screw up, you have to stand by it. No matter how bad it is."

"Adam ... why aren't you angry with me and give me a tanning?"

Adam kept on holding Joe's hand. "Oh, believe me, Joe. I am angry that you make such trouble again and again. But as you know, the way of life of Indians has a great influence on my life and one thing I've learned already very early by the Gosiute. To hit no children - and I'll stick to that for the rest of my life. Whatever happens."

"I'm scared, Adam."

"Come to me."

Adam pulled Joe close to him and took him in his arms. "Joe, you do need to tell Pa on your own. This I can't and I won't spare you."

Still in Adam's arm Joe gave him an answer. "I've screwed up even more, Adam."

Joe could feel Adam breathing deeply. "I've signed two letters from the school by myself, and now Mr. Conner wants to speak with Pa in person."

Adam broke the embrace and then grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "Little Joe, you're a Cartwright. We don't lie and we don't cheat. You'll tell Pa this as well and woe to you, if I find out you haven't. Then you will see when I'm really angry."

Joe turned around and took the letter from Mr. Conner and left his room.

XXX

In a pretty good mood Adam opened the front door. The cattle drive was over and he had come through in good shape, despite the concerns of his father, that he wouldn't make it only so soon after the gunshot wound. He was almost a year back at home again and never regretted his decision to return to Nevada. With a gleeful squeaking Sarah came running toward him. „Hello, Winona."

He took his sister in his arms and went with her to his father's desk. "You wanted to see me, Pa?"

His father pointed a pen on him. "Her name is Sarah, Adam."

"We haven't forgotten. Isn't that right, Winona?"

His sister threw her arms around his neck and laughed loudly. Ben rolled his eyes and gave his son a letter. Adam let Sarah to the floor and read the letter. Sarah clung to his leg and looked up at him. "And, are you going to San Francisco to sign a contract with them?"

His father shook his head. "No, I'll write them a letter. I think that'll be enough."

Adam cocked his head and looked at his father skeptically. "I think you'd better go. They're the best agents for the British market, and we wanted to finally ship our timber overseas as well. Therefore, you should negotiate with them in person."

Sarah began to pluck his pant leg again babbling loudly. Annoyed Ben threw the pen on the table. "Did you see Emillia outside? She just wanted to get something done."

Adam took Sarah back on his arm. "No, I haven't, but she isn't bothering me."

He smiled at his sister and gave her his glove, which he had in his pocket. "But I cannot talk in peace with you."

"I can. So are you going?"

Ben leaned back. "No. I think that is completely unnecessary. I'm writing a letter to inform them about our conditions and that must suffice. I won't make a trip again before fall."

"Shall I make the trip then? Pa, we need the contract in order to finally achieve our goals. Otherwise we can forget about England."

"No. I need you here. Hoss isn't ready to take on all the responsibility. He is also twice a week at Koko's farm, thanks to you."

Adam realized that his father wanted to shoot reckless arrows as he was obviously looking to have an arguement. But he was in such a good mood and didn't want it to be spoiled by his father. "Are you alright, Pa?"

Ben stood up and walked into the living room. Softly Adam spoke with his sister. "Oh, oh, Winona. I think our Pa today got out of the wrong side of the bed."

He put Sarah back to the floor, and followed his father. "Did you have a dispute with Emillia?"

Ben turned to him with arms akimbo. "No, we haven't."

"What did you do then? You aren't just so annoyed because of Sarah."

His father dropped into the chair. "Emillia's expecting another child."

Adam grinned from ear to ear. "So what? That's good news."

His father laughed. "Considering that you were so angry with me that I got married, you're taking it quite relaxed."

Yes, his father was right. He'd never have believed that after a year he was glad that Emillia and Sarah belonged to his family. Without Emillia he and his father would certainly have argued a lot more, and in spite of his intentions, not to make friends with the wife of his father, he liked her, and Sarah was just a little sunshine.

"Why aren't you glad?"

Ben got up and went to the fireplace. "I am, but ..." his eyes went to Sarah. "... I don't know if I still have so much patience."

Adam had to laugh. "Are you telling me, you're too old for this?"

Ben's eyebrows furrowed. "Certainly not ... you and Hoss, you always were so reasonable, but Little Joe tried my patience almost beyond its limits right from the start, and when I look at Sarah, I have to admit she also has a very lively temperament. So how will it be with the next child?"

Adam scratched his head. "What shall I tell you now?" He chuckled again. "Maybe you should have thought about it before?"

His father's eyes flashed at him. Sarah toddled over to the table and tried to take an apple out of the bowl. Adam sat down on the table giving her one. With the apple in her hand, she climbed onto the settee and began to eat. "Pa, look at her. I'm grateful that she's here, and just as grateful I'll be at your next child." Adam paused briefly. "Pa, live in the past, if you want to be sad. Live in the future, if you want to be scared. But if you want to be happy, then enjoy the moment."

Ben looked at his daughter and smiled. "I guess I'm just still done by the cattle drive and by the events that have happened to you before."

"Or you're just getting old."

Ben raised his hand, but he couldn't help grinning. "Don't get cheeky, son."

"Pa, you've always wanted a big family and now you get it."

"That's true. But honestly, Adam? I actually thought that you'd finally get back home with good news."

Adam took an apple and got up again to leave the house. "When you attach so much value on it, Pa, then I won't keep you in suspense any longer."

He opened the door and could see his father beaming all over his face. "The fence on west pasture is finally repaired."

Even through the closed door, he could hear his father calling his name.


	46. Chapter 46

With a crash, the front door flew open and Little Joe came running into the house quite out of breath. "I'm first, Adam!"

Sweaty and with a big smile Little Joe sat down at the lunch table. "My dear son! How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn't run in the house?"

Still grinning, Little Joe bowed his head. "Yes, Sir."

Leisurely Adam walked into the house and closed the door, took off his stuff and sat down at his place. "It's nice that my dear sons managed to be here for supper almost on time."

"We would have been on time, but it took Adam sooo long to say goodbye to Koko."

Little Joe grinned at his brother, who rolled his eyes while Ben looked in surprise at his eldest son. "I thought you'd bring Koko with you right away. Didn't we intend to drive together to the dance in town today?"

Before Adam gave him an answer, he calmly took some meat and put it on his plate. "Koko won't be joining us. She's in the village tonight since the Gosiute also welcome fall."

"Then at least you will get no trouble with Grace, although I would have liked to see."

Irritated Ben looked at Little Joe, who was still grinning. "Who's Grace?"

Little Joe shrugged and looked innocently at the ceiling. Ben's gaze wandered to Adam, who had no intention of giving him an answer. "Adam?"

Adam took a glass of water. "She's just a mere acquaintance from town."

He took a sip, looking at his little brother, who couldn't eat from laughter. "Well, your horse is quite often tied in front of her house."

Adam cocked his head. Little Joe's eyes went from Adam to his father, who both looked at him. "Uh, ... I ..., well ... I can see Grace's house from school, and if I happen to look over ... Well, then I see your horse standing there from time to time."

"My dear brother, wouldn't it be nice if you could concentrate on your lessons in future and not be daydreaming out of the window?"

"Then you're going with Grace to the dance tonight?"

Adam turned to Hoss. "No. I'm not going."

Hoss said nothing, but looked at him appraisingly. "Adam, do I have to worry that I must listen to the talk of some other folks this evening?"

Adam took a deep breath. "You don't, Pa."

"Fine ..." Ben took his knife and fork in hand to continue eating. "... then we all drive to town today."

"No. I'll come later."

Ben didn't raise his head. Only his eyes looked up and waited for Adam to say more. After some time he laid the cutlery on his plate slightly annoyed. "And do you have the kindness to tell us why you don't go along with us?"

Adam looked at his father a quite a long time. "I'm going to change clothes after lunch and then ride over to Tom. We want to discuss some business. Then we'll both come."

"Business?"

Adam closed his eyes briefly. "At the moment it's still an idea. If we get it, I'll tell you about it."

"Maybe, I'd like to know about it before it's too late."

Adam continued his meal. "Pa, just trust me."

Everyone at the table could hear Ben gasping for air. "Well then, I'm curious what you two have come up with. But I'm sure something good will come out of it. Right, Ben?"

Emillia looked at her husband and put her hand on his. Ben pulled his hand away and continued to eat, but again and again he looked at Adam.

After dinner Emillia got up and wanted to go upstairs with Sarah to lay her down for an afternoon nap. "I'll do it, Emillia. You can enjoy your coffee."

Adam took his sister in his arms and bring her upstairs. Hoss rose as well. "Joe and I will take care of the barn, and later get the buggy ready for tonight."

With a nod Hoss made his brother understand that he should follow him. A grumbling Little Joe followed after him. The door was hardly closed as Ben looked at his wife angrily. "You know I can't stand when you do that."

In complete silence she poured another coffee. "And you know that I don't like when you two start to quarrel about nothing."

Ben's eyes widened. "Nothing? I think when it comes to the business of the Ponderosa, everything is important."

She put down her cup. "Since we know each other, and you told me about Adam, you mentioned in every other sentence, how much you're looking forward to the time when he's back, and how he can help you with the business. But until now you've only let him do the chores of a cowboy. I've never seen him in the office at the books, nor have you ever sent him going for a contract. Didn't he just say, 'Trust me, Pa'. I think that you should start it step by step."

Ben's eyes got smaller. "Why should I let him participate more in business when he doesn't even know how his future looks?"

Emillia laughed. "So that's the reason. It's not about any contracts. You're looking for an arguement with him lately because he and Koko haven't married."

Ben stood up and walked through the living room. "He's more than a year at home now, and that he and Koko aren't only good friends, can't be ignored. I don't know what he's waiting for. How should I plan here with him when he'll work on the farm one day and not here any more ..." Ben's face darkened again. "... and if I want to talk about it with him, I either get an offhand response or none."

Emillia pushed back her chair and stood up. "Ben, I don't think your son and Koko will marry someday." Surprised Ben looked at his wife. "Don't ask me why. I can't explain. It's just a feeling. But even if I should be mistaken he will certainly not work on the farm."

Ben crossed his arms. "Of course, he would work there, and I assume that Koko will be our daughter in law, because otherwise I must have a serious talk with my son how to behave properly towards young ladies."

"Oh, Ben. Try to not always control his life, but just listen to him for once. If the work at the farm is what he wants, HE'd work there twice a week and not Hoss."

Ben dropped his arms. "And if you know him so well, then you certainly know exactely what my son wants. Because I don't know."

"You don't need to snap at me, Ben. I only want to help you."

Her husband sat down in the chair and spread his arms. "Please excuse me. But there are moments when the boy drives me crazy."

Emillia sat down beside him on the armrest. "You really don't see that he's looking for his way and his place? Ben, he was five years on his own. Now he must do again what you're telling him. It's quite normal that he doesn't always want to. What I see is that he loves working here at the ranch. But like you he also wants to take responsibility, so you should give him this."

She took his hand and looked at him caringly. "Do you know that Tom's father no longer will join the cattle drive next year? Why don't you consider also to send Adam off alone?"

Ben took a deep breath. "I'll think about it. I first want to see what spring will bring."

Shaking her head Emillia stood up. "Oh, Ben ... what should be different in spring?"

Even Ben rose. "What I said. Unlike you, I believe that he and Koko will get married, and then we'll see where he'll be working."

He took his hat and opened the door. "I still have work to do outside."

In excellent Little Joe fashion, he closed the door. With a smile Emillia cleared the table.

XX

Adam knocked on the door and shortly thereafter Mr. Brookstone opened it. "Hello Adam. How are you?"

Adam took his hat off and entered the house. "Just fine. Thank you, Mr. Brookstone."

" And how's your father?"

" Very fine, too. I guess you'll see each other tonight at the dance."

Mr. Brookstone patted Adam on the back. "Definitely. I'm looking forward to smoking a good cigar with your father. But now I won't stop you any longer. Tom is at the rear in the office. You already know the way."

Adam nodded, went to the office and remained in the doorway. "You never looked happier."

With a loud snort Tom leaned back in his chair. Adam closed the door, took off his jacket and sat down at one of the chairs. Tom rubbed his hands over his face and looked at his friend with tired eyes. "You know, Adam ... sometimes I curse the fact that I'm the oldest. Why does that always imply that you have to follow the footsteps of your father?"

"You have such a great deal on your plate?"

Tom pointed to the desk. "Look around. The table's full. My father has really retired from everything. He only wants to do the work on the ranch. Business is completely up to me."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

Tom looked for a while at the mess of papers that lay before him. Then he sighed again. "I've got no idea, Adam. I'd be lying if I said it's fun. I do it because my father expects it."

"What will you do otherwise?"

Tom laughed. "I've got no idea, Adam. To go to school again and to have to worry about nothing?"

"No, thanks, Tom. To school you have to go back alone."

Adam stood up and poured them both a brandy. He handed Tom a glass and sat down again. "What about Sybil? You told me that you assume that there might be a bit more with the two of you. So go on. I'll build you a house, and you're your own boss."

"Very nice, Adam, but what would change then? Only that this table stands in another house then."

"Are you telling me that all the work on the ranch isn't yours?"

"I really don't know, Adam. But the idea that I'm going to do this until I'm old and gray, scares me."

"Well, Tom ..." Adam clicked his tongue. "... you get too much responsibility, and I get none at all. What do you think, we pack our things and just skip out of town?"

Tom had to laugh again. "And what do we live of? Bank robberies?"

"Nope ... I was thinking about stage coach robberies. Then the posse won't be coming after us so quickly."

Tom looked down at his table. "I think I'd rather continuing to fight the papers. Isn't that dangerous."

"Well, then we should talk about our contract. Did you have time to read it?"

Tom pushed a few pages aside and took a small stack of papers in his hand. "Is this Frederic Francois your Boston friend?"

"Yes. He has graduated in May and founded his own company. He got the contract from the railway company to build the station building in Brier Creek. If they're satisfied with his work, more orders will follow."

Tom still hesitated. "It's a long way to Brier Creek. It'll hardly pay off for us."

"Tom, I think further. I'm sure, Frederic will get the repeat orders, and the route is to lead to California. So they're getting closer and with each mile our profit will rise."

"Didn't you once tell me that your friend will never set foot in the West?"

"As it stands, he does anyway. He and his family are already in Brier Creek and will go along with any construction site. That's the plan in any case."

While Tom was still wondering, Adam thought of Frederic's letter and how much he had been pleased about the fact that his friend had really managed to break away from his father. Frederic had written him that he wanted to move with Giovanna and Riccardo in September to Brier Creek, and he wanted to have Adam on board with the project of the railway company. He had also promised to ensure with every new job on whether the location selected was the right one, or whether there would be an alternative. Furthermore, he had asked Adam whether he would mind that Pietro moved into his house in Boston. Of course, it was according to Adam's wishes, that the house wouldn't stay empty. Frederic had written much about Riccardo, and that his father had become very quiet and thoughtful during the last year, so he really had to consider whether to leave Boston at all. But Bridget and Giovanna had encouraged him at last.

He had also reported that his sister was doing well in New York, and she surely would make her graduation. The mere thought of these words caused him again a sting in the heart. He had so hoped that it would decrease over time here in Nevada, but as soon as he only thought of her, there was an emptiness in him, from which he could hardly free himself.

"Adam?"

Adam opened his eyes again. "Have you been listening to me at all? Where have you just been with your thoughts?"

"I'm sorry, Tom. What did you say?"

Tom grinned at him. "Were you just with Koko?"

"Koko?"

"That's alright, buddy. I asked you why you want me to be part of the business? Why don't you do it alone?"

"Very simple, I can't buy the land all alone, and you're my best friend here, so it's quite normal that I ask you."

"No, not for me. You can nevertheless ask your father if he participates."

"Tom, I'm just like you. I also want to be able to stand on my own two feet and not be dependent on my father all my life. I don't know what will be in four or five years. I want to live on my own money, if need be."

"But you know that we take up a big risk with this business. All our savings we will put into it."

"Yes I know that. But I also know, if it works, you'll never have to worry for later. Tom, normally I'm the one who questions everything. Trust me. You know the land. There's very good timber. In the start we won't make profit. When we pay the workers and let the timber transport to Pennsylvania, we even have to be careful that we don't take on too much. But if need be we can even sell some of the timber to other customers nearby. So just wait and see, once they have reached Iowa, we will make profit."

"Buddy, I'll guess so, and I understand as well that you want to help your friend, but we're talking here only about small station houses."

Adam grinned. "Yes, for now, but even on the track is one or the other big city and at the end California's waiting for our timber to build a huge railway station and not just one." Adam leaned forward. "Tom, if we have good timber and deliver on time, then we also get other jobs. We cannot lose."

Tom exhaled. "I've got no idea what's going on with you and Koko, but I really wanted to get married next year and my savings should be for when I'm fed up with all this stuff here. But good. I trust you."

Tom stood up and reached for Adam's hand. With a broad grin, he took it. "You'll thank me when we sit in front of your house one day, smoke cigars and watch your grandchildren play."

"I'll take your word for it, buddy, and now let's leave this office and ride into town. I need a beer."

Adam put on his jacket. "Just remember to take enough money with you. You lost the bet. I didn't stay at the Sheriff till today."

"Can't you forget about it?"

"No."

XXX

Hoss stood in the corner, hoping the evening would be finally over. Repeatedly he had offered Pa to take care of Little Joe and Sarah at home, but his father had insisted that he should come to the dance. His father knew that he didn't like dancing and didn't know with whom to try. So he had talked about horses with some he knew from school, but usually only watched the others dancing. Recently Tom and Adam appeared and it could clearly be seen that they had already drunk more than one beer in the saloon, about which Pa wasn't amused, of course. But as it was Adam's nature, he only had tapped his father's shoulder and told him grinning something that Hoss couldn't hear, and then left him standing for a dance with Grace.

Hoss put his glass on the table and went to Emillia. "Hoss, why are you pouting?" Hoss put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "You're not having fun?"

"Not really."

She touched Hoss' arm. "Believe me, Hoss. Next year it will already look different. Then you're eighteen and will see the world in different light."

Hoss looked down. "I don't even want to think about next year."

"Why not?"

He shrugged his shoulders again. "Dunno."

Slightly stunned Emillia looked at him. "Why do your father and you guys make your lives always so hard? Why don't you talk about what bothers you?"

Slightly intimidated Hoss looked past her. "Well, yes ... in the past I talked to Adam if something was bothering me."

"Yes, ...?" Emillia waited to see if he was going to say more. "... and then why not now?"

Hoss blushed. "I think …. he would just laugh at me."

"No, Hoss. He would certainly not."

Hoss nodded. "Yes, he would. I'm sure."

"Then tell me. I certainly don't laugh."

Still with a blushed face, he shook his head. "No, ... no, ... there's nothing. I guess we'll leave soon. I'll wait outside for awhile."

Emillia looked at him sadly. "Hoss ..."

"It's alright, Mum. I'll wait."

Hoss turned and left the building. Outside, he strolled around and looked at the stars. After a while he turned around and went back. Just before the hotel he stopped. From the corner of his eye he saw Adam and Grace. He walked slowly in the direction of his brother. When he saw that Adam was about to kiss Grace, his steps got faster. He grabbed Adam's shoulder and turned him over. "Can you tell me what you're just about to do?"

Completely surprised and flabbergasted Adam looked at him. With both hands Hoss pushed him against the chest, so that Adam had to back away a few steps. "Did you even think of Koko about what you're doing here?"

Again Hoss pushed him. This time Adam hit his hand away. "Hoss, can you please stop this? I think it's none of your business what I'm doing here."

Again Hoss pushed him. "Of course it's my business. I'm friends with Koko, and I don't watch you hurting her, as it was with Brenda."

Both were so focused on themselves that they didn't realize as Grace left. She was sure that the two brothers would start a fight. Therefore she looked for Ben to tell him.

"Brenda?"

"Yes, then it was Brenda and today it's Grace. How can you be so mean? Tomorrow you're sitting with Koko at our table or do you invite Grace, too?"

Adam came a step closer. His voice was very serious. "If you weren't my brother, I'd already have knocked you down."

With full force Hoss pushed him away. "What's stopping you? Or are you just afraid, because you know I'm stronger?"

Again Adam was annoyed that he had been drinking more than two beers. He had planned so much, never to drink too much again after the incident on the beach in Boston. But he and Tom had toasted on the contract, and there was the brandy at his home. So Adam was trying to regain his inner peace somehow. "Hoss, what's happening with me and Koko, only concerns the both of us. Noone else."

Hoss came back to him and pushed him with his fingers against the chest. "No, big brother. You're welcome to tell Pa, but I've known Koko as long as you have. It was ME, who has spent almost every day with her when you were gone. Therefore, it does concern me, too, dad-burnit."

All along Adam went backward while Hoss pushed repeatedly against his chest. Adam's inner peace was at its limits. Furious, he struck Hoss' hand away again. "Hoss, I ..."

He didn't get further, because Hoss grabbed him with both hands by the collar. Before he could say anything, Ben was there and pulled Hoss away from Adam. He stood between the two brothers and looked at them angrily. "Can you both please tell me, what's gotten into you?"

"My dear brother has forgotten in Boston what honesty and decency is." Ben looked at him blankly. "It's alright, Pa. I'm waiting at the buggy."

Before Hoss left, he pointed his finger at Adam. "I don't forget that, Adam, and I won't watch it. Either you fix it or I'm doing it."

Then Hoss left, leaving behind a puzzled Ben and a brother, who stood with head down.

"Adam ..., can you please explain to me what's going on?"

Adam crossed his arms. "Pa, I really didn't want to accept, but Amarok has asked me if I would join him on Wednesday to get close to the Great Spirit."

"The Great Spirit? Adam, how much did you drink?"

"Pa, that means nothing else than I sometimes need silence. I'll be back on Sunday."

"I actually thought since Boston you'd have been through with all that Indian stuff. What's it got to do with what has happened right here?"

Adam exhaled. "Believe me, Pa, a lot. I'll apologize immediately to Hoss."

"But I need you next week, Adam. Can't you postpone?"

"No, Pa. I cannot. I will leave Wednesday with Amarok. Whether you like it or not."

Ben's snort was sure to be heard till the Ponderosa, but he had promised to Emillia not to argue with Adam so often and to show more patience. "Well well, son. But even if I'm repeating myself - you live in our world, not in the world of the Indians. You should get that clear in your mind."

Both walked in silence back to the hotel.


	47. Chapter 47

Ben raised his head in astonishment. Who would be knocking at the door so early on Sunday morning? He looked at the others at the table, who looked just as surprised. Adam shrugged and got up to open the door. His astonishment was even greater when he saw Amarok standing before him. But then his expression changed, he was worried. In a low voice he said to Koko's father. "What's happened?"

Amarok smiled and put his hand on Adam's shoulder. „My young warrior needn't to be worried. I'm here because I want to leave with you today."

„Today?"

Adam looked over his shoulder to the table just as Ben got up and also came to the door. "Good morning, Amarok. What leads you to us?"

"I came to go with Wynono on his journey today."

„On a journey?"

Surprised Ben looked back and forth between Adam and Amarok. "We can leave immediately, Wynono. You need take nothing."

"Oh, ... just a moment ..." Ben grabbed Adam's arm. "... You wanted to have a break on Wednesday. Today is out of the question."

Adam looked at his father's hand and drew his arm away slowly. "Pa, if Amarok thinks we should just leave today, we'll go today."

"I'm waiting for you outside, my young warrior."

Adam nodded, put on his gun belt and took his jacket and his hat. Ben still looked at him in disbelief. "Don't you just leave? Where are you going? Won't you pack anything else?"

"Pa, where we're going, we don't need anything else."

Again Ben grabbed Adam's arm and looked at him a little worried. "Adam, what will you be doing in the next few days? And when will you get back?"

"I don't know, Pa. Yesterday I was with Amarok, talked with him and told him that I will accompany him. I don't know more than that. I have to go now."

After a few steps, however, Adam turned around again. "Pa, you can ask Hoss what it means to get close to the Great Spirit. He can tell you."

He smiled at his father once again, and then went into the barn to get his horse.

XX

Both rode for some time towards the mountains, without talking. Late in the afternoon when they had already reached the mountains and were in a valley, Amarok addressed him. "Wynono, behind this mountain we will spend this time together. I will accompany you on your journey."

"My own journey?"

Koko's father smiled again. "It is time that the soul and the heart of my young warrior find their place. You've been back home many moons ago, but you're still wandering through the day like a bison in search of his herd. You have to keep on looking for this big secret, and when you're ready, you'll find it on your journey."

Adam looked at the mountain. He knew some rituals of the Indians and wondered what Amarok expected of him. "I see a slight concern in your eyes, but don't be afraid. Even if the blood of my people doesn't flow in your veins, you are wearing our strength in your mind and in your heart. You know that every warrior of our tribe has a guardian spirit, and now you will go on a search for yours."

Adam looked at Amarok. "I know the significance those guardians spirits have, and I know that the young warriors return to the village only after they found it. But I don't know what they do during their travel."

"I will accompany you at the beginning of the trip. Then the rest is up to you."

"Then so be it."

Koko's father turned to his horse and took off the bridle and the blanket. "The horses we will leave in the valley and walk the last part on foot. Even your weapons you can leave here. You won't need them."

Then the two went to the mountain. Along the way, he and Amarok gathered wood for the fire. Finally, they stood on a highground. The eye could reach far into the distance. No other mountain was blocking their view. A small trickle meandered down the mountain. On the hill a brook had formed.

"Koko has told me that you've found in the big city a valley of tranquility, and there you've followed what I have advised you. Your current trip will be slightly different. You will hear day and night on the wind, the animals, the grass, and the stones and try to open your mind for the messages of the elements. You won't live from what nature gives you. You will only take something when your trip has ended." Amarok pointed at the brook. "But before you can begin your journey, you have to get rid of all the burdens you are carrying. You have to clean your clothing and your body."

Adam took a deep breath and went to the brook while Amarok lit the fire. Later, Adam sat before the fire and looked through the flames into the distance and pushed all his useless thoughts aside to focus only on the sounds of nature.

The first day and the first night set no problem for Adam, but already on the second night he noticed the sleep deprivation, and that he had taken no water for hours. On the third day he noticed only by passing, that Amarok left the camp every now and then. The heat of the fire was more and more unbearable, and he was glad he wasn't wearing his jacket and shirt. The wind, the cries of birds and the crackling of the fire mingled with his thoughts that no longer ran in clear lines.

Then he wasn't aware any more whether it was day or night. The wind in his head grew stronger and louder. He stood on the edge of the highground and looked down. Then he spread his arms and laid his head back. The cool wind felt good on his skin. Slowly Adam closed his eyes and let himself fall forward. When falling, he no longer heard the wind. Only silence enveloped him. He opened his eyes and saw the ground coming toward him. But it wasn't the stony ground of the mountains. It was a spring meadow, approaching him. He turned onto his back and looked up at the sky. Although the sun had been mirrored in the morning dew on the grass, the sky above him was black and the stars shone blindingly in his eyes. Adam narrowed his eyes. He blinked several times, but the picture didn't change. He saw his father and the rest of the family holding a star in hand and showing him the way to the meadow. Adam felt gently as his back touched the ground. The sky changed color and the faces disappeared.

Again he closed his eyes and perceived his surroundings only through his senses. There was again the faint whisper of the wind. The scent of spring tickled his nose. He heard the buzzing of the bees and the rustle of an animal moving through the grass. Adam turned his head and opened his eyes to see what approached him. His eyes would come out of their sockets. His breathing became faster. Directly in front of him was a snake with raised head, looking into his eyes. The snake cocked its head and it looked as if it was watching Adam closely. To his own surprise his breathing calmed down. Carefully, he turned on his belly, but without letting the snake out of sight. The animal lowered its head slightly, so that its eyes were at the same level and only a few inches separated them. So they were both facing each other, without moving.

After some time, that Adam couldn't estimate the snake lowered its head and wriggled further up to him. Adam didn't move as it slipped over his shoulder at his back and stayed there. But then he froze when he felt its teeth dig into his neck. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. The snake released him, only to wrap around his neck. But it didn't squeeze, its head was back in front of his face. Adam sat down carefully cross legged. He slowly raised his arm and ran two fingers over the animal's head. It clung to his cheek and wriggled around his head, only to slide over his chest to the ground again. It moved away a little from him. Then it raised its head again and looked back at him. Adam got up and followed its path with his eyes.

In the meadow appeared buildings and figures out of nowhere. Adam went off to follow the snake. The closer he got, the better he realized what lay ahead of him. It was the Ponderosa, the University and the house of Mr. Francois. The snake slid around each building without touching it. Front of the Ponderosa it stopped and shed its skin. Then it continued on its way. Even the people who were standing in the meadow, he recognized. These were his father and Mr. Francois, his mother, Inger, Marie, Emillia, Koko and Bridget. But they didn't see him or the snake. They ran laughing at a wall. The snake overtook the group and slid over the wall. Adam was startled when little holes in the wall emerged with a thundering and the head of the snake peeked out of each. Adam bent to see what was behind the wall and was shocked again. Directly in front of the wall was a bison. Larger than he had ever seen. The snake came closer again and wriggled around his legs, and then wound its way to the bison. Fascinated Adam watched as the animal meandered up on the legs of the bison, until it reached the head. There it curled up between the horns with eyes still pinning him. Then the ground beneath Adam gave way and he fell into the blackness of the night.

Adam's eyes widened. His heart beat so loud that it hurt in the ears. His head boomed and his whole body screamed for water. He fell to the side inhaling the dust and sand of the ground. His body convulsed as he started coughing violently. A hand helped him to sit properly again. Adam couldn't see who was standing in front of him. He perceived only lights. Then he felt the cool water on his lips. Greedy his hands searched for the source. With both hands he held a satchel and drank it empty in one stroke, but after a few seconds his belly took it very badly. Coughing and gasping Adam knelt on the ground. His whole body was shaking.

"You have to drink slowly, Wynono. Then the calmness will return to you."

Again Adam took a satchel of water in hand. But this time he drank only small sips. Little by little his body calmed down, and Adam could see clearly again. It was late afternoon, but the sun hadn't yet disappeared completely behind the mountains. Adam poured the water over his head, enjoying the coolness that wrapped around his body.

Only when it was dark, Adam found the strength to talk with Amarok. However, Amarok gave him first a small bowl of dried meat, berries and nuts. "Take even this food carefully. Your belly must again get used to food."

Adam nodded and first took a few nuts. "Was your journey successful, Wynono?"

Adam put the bowl onto his legs and thought. "I'm not sure, Amarok. I didn't understand everything."

"Then tell me about your journey and together we will see what the Great Spirit has told you."

Adam closed his eyes and tried to report everything exactly as he had experienced it. When Adam ended Amarok smiled at him. "It doesn't surprise me that the snake has chosen you."

Adam took a deep breath. "The snake is my guardian spirit?"

"You don't seem to be pleased?"

"I am ... surprised. Snakes and I haven't had a good relationship."

"Yes, I thought so. Otherwise it wouldn't have bitten you. ….Wynono, why do you think that the bison was behind the wall and the snake could move on both sides?" Adam lowered his head and put his folded hands to his forehead. "You know it, Wynono, but you won't admit it to yourself." Adam nodded slightly. "Maybe I can make it easier for you. By telling you that it is determined to you, to be just the way you are. You know, in which sign of the zodiac you're born among my people?"

No."

"You were born under the sign of the red hawk. Warriors born in this sign often find themselves time and again in dangerous situations, where there is a constant tension. They're looking for challenges, situations or events in which their strong mental, physical and emotional energy is needed. They love the sun and the warmth. They're classic spring and summer children. Disadvantages for those born under the sign of the red hawk, are the inner struggle they have to fight between clarity and logic on the one hand and the emotions on the other hand side. On the emotional level, they often have to offer more than many of the other zodiac signs. But since they prefer a certain clarity, there's always a fight within them. But they are very adaptable and helpful. They take time for their fellow man and manage to even promote their ideas and suggestions. If one takes the trouble to get to know a hawk born properly, this hawk born can give the gift to understand ones own feelings and to reveal them."

When he answered Amarok, he put his hands to his face. "It isn't that simple, Amarok."

"Will you tell me why you've built a wall to keep people away who love you?"

"If I can control my emotions, I'm able to control the pain."

"Then the Great Spirit was right with the snake. It stands for the fact that it doesn't want to show its true feelings. It goes through life with an honest attitude, is feared, but lets noone get too close for fear of being hurt."

"But the snake has been lying on the bison. It wasn't with me."

"It was with you." Adam looked at him in surprise. "The bison is strong and gentle. But if you provoke it, you should better get out of its way. It has to live with its herd. Otherwise, it's lonely and dies of a broken heart, and that will happen if it doesn't manage to break the wall. I told you once, Wynono, you should live the moment and not look into the future anxiously."

For the first time in all these years, Adam stood up and walked away from Amarok to collect his thoughts. He stood at the edge of the highground looking into the night.

"You've been through a lot, Wynono and it won't be easy for you, but to be happy, you have to start to tear down the walls that surround you."

Adam turned his head to Koko's father, who was standing beside him. "I try, ... I've been trying for years, but every time I think I'm ready for it, something happens that reinforces the wall. It is just as hard for me than to live in these two worlds."

"As long as you have this wall inside you, it won't be easy for you in any world, but perhaps your journey can help you. For no man begins to exist before he received his vision.

You won't leave this mountain and start to be a different person, Wynono. These days should only show you where your path should lead, so that your soul and your heart can form a unity. Your guardian spirit will accompany you from now on and will be by your side forever, if you only let him. He will strengthen your self-confidence so that you can be successful in love, in trade or in fight."

"Does he also help me to defeat my fears?"

"When you face your fears, then he will be with you."

"I think I will have to go to this mountain often before I have defeated them all."

"Your guardian spirit has shown you that there are many holes in the wall, but you won't bring the wall to collapse in one day. Keep trying to create small holes. Then they are real and permanent."

Adam rubbed his eyes. "The journey has tired me, Amarok."

"It was a very long journey and a lot you won't understand but with time. You rest now. Tomorrow we ride into the village and celebrate with the tribe the success of your journey, and you'll get a little gift that will always remind you of your vision. When the sun has then said farewell to the moon, you can return to your family."

"Thank you, Amarok, that you have been with me."

Nodding Amarok slapped him again on the shoulder and left the camp. Adam returned to the fire and ate and drank a little, then he lay down on the ground and fell asleep at once.

Trembling, he woke up the next day. The fire had gone out during the night, and Adam felt now clearly that it was already fall. He got up, went to the creek, spread water into his face and took a deep breath. Adam had no idea how long he actually was on this mountain, and if he should wait for Amarok now or even ride into the village. According to the sun, it had to be just before lunchtime. He looked around and found his shirt and jacket. He put on both, then sat down at the edge of the highground and thought about what he had experienced. Much of what he had seen and felt, he hadn't understood yet, but what he had understood was that he couldn't constantly fool himself any longer. Koko and his heart didn't beat in the rhythm of love, and he should finally realize it and be clear with her.

"My young warrior should allow his soul to repose now. Give yourself time to understand everything."

Adam turned around. Behind him stood Amarok and reached out a hand to him. He let himself be pulled up by Koko's father and both left the mountain.

Even from afar the drums in the village could be heard. In the moment they rode into the village, two of the younger warriors came, held their horses and led them away after they had dismounted. Amarok touched Adam's arm gently. "Put your gun and your hat off and if it's not too cold to you, take off your shirt. Then go to my father."

Adam looked to the middle of the village where Amarok's father and the shaman stood and waited for him. Adam took off his stuff and handed it to one of the warriors, who stood beside him. Then he walked slowly to the middle of the village. His heart beat a little faster, but he tried to calm down with this thought - no matter what was coming - it couldn't be worse than the last few days.

"I greet you, Wynono. The tribe of the Gosiute is proud of the Chaska of Amarok. You've finished your journey successfully. We will honour you and your guardian spirit by having a celebration. Our shaman will prepare you for the feast."

The shaman started with singing and circled Adam several times. Every time he stood in front of him, he painted colour from a pot on Adam's face. At the end, he raised both hands to the sky and asked the Great Spirit to protect his tribe, Adam and his family. Then he looked Adam in the eye. He had to try hard to withstand the look of the shaman. The drums grew louder and Adam felt heat rising, but he wouldn't lower his gaze in any case. Sweat oozed on his forehead. He only looked at the eyes of the shaman. What was happening around him, he wasn't aware any longer. Then finally the shaman broke his gaze and spoke again to the Great Spirit. But this time Adam understood no word of what he said. Too fast were his words.

Suddenly the drums and the singing fell silent. "For many moons you've been a welcome guest in our village, but now you've been as courageous and brave as our strongest warriors. You're not only the son of the white man on the other side of the creek. Now you're also a son of the Great Spirit. May he protect you and lead you on the winding road of your life."

Amarok's father handed the shaman a chain which he put around Adam's neck. Adam looked down. The chain wasn't very long. At the end of the ribbon hung a very small dried snake. "This chain should always remind you of your guardian spirit. And now my great warrior celebrate your feast with us."

The shaman pointed with his hand toward the teepees. There stood Koko and smiled at him. Adam left the center and went to her. Koko took him in her arms and hugged him. With an even bigger smile, she released him. "A snake, Adam?"

Adam grimaced. "I would have preferred to take the bison, but when I think about it, ... that would be a little hard on a chain."

They both laughed and Koko took his arm and they sat down with the others in the round. The celebration lasted all night and time and again dances were performed with living snakes which - when they came too close to Adam - still caused an accelerated heartbeat with him.

Not until the next midday Koko, Adam and her mother returned to the farm. Before entering the house, Adam held his friend's arm. "Koko, we need to talk."

"I know Adam, but not today. You should ride home and rest. There are exhausting days behind you. And you'll feel them even more."

"Alright. But we will talk."

"Of course! We'll do that."

Adam mounted, but before he rode off, he had to ask a question. "Koko, what day is it?"

She had to laugh. "That you'd ever ask me. It's Sunday."

Adam raised an eyebrow and exhaled. Then he rode off home. Only when he had unsaddled his horse, he noticed really how done and tired he was. With heavy steps he opened the door. "Adam! There you are. Pa has been worried."

„Hello, Hoss, Winona."

Sarah climbed down the settee and immediately ran to him with outstretched arms. "I missed you, too, my little sunshine. Where are all the others, Hoss?"

"They're all in town having lunch. Since Sarah had a fever this week, Pa wanted to stay at home, but I said, they can leave without worrying."

Adam smiled at his sister. "Have you missed me so much that you got sick right away?"

She babbled wildly to herself and pulled his hat off. "Hoss, I know that Aponi made fresh cakes. Ride over and spend the afternoon there, I'll take care of Sarah."

Hoss scratched his head. "I don't know, Adam ..., don't be angry, but you look pretty much done. Don't you think you prefer to rest?"

"I'm fine, Hoss. You can go safely. Winona and I will make ourselves comfortable, and she will have her afternoon nap after all."

Hoss hesitated briefly, but then took his hat. "Thank you, Adam. I'll bring you a piece of cake."

"Do that. And we two will have a little fun."

Two hours later, Little Joe rumbled into the house, but then stopped abruptly and put his finger to his lips as Ben and Emillia came into the house. Ben smiled when he saw Sarah and Adam lying on a blanket on the floor, sleeping. In one arm of Adam Sarah was lying and in the other hand he had a book. Ben looked at Joe and his wife and whispered. "I think we should change clothes and give the two a half hour before we wake them."

They all went toward the stairs, then Ben stopped again, took a blanket from the settee and gently he covered his two children on the floor.


	48. Chapter 48

The blast left him sitting upright in his bed. Then the loud voice of his father followed admonishing Little Joe that every door had a door handle. Adam stretched and looked at his watch, which was lying on the table beside his bed. For his habits, it was already very late. He stretched again and stood up slowly. Yesterday afternoon he had been drinking coffee with the family, but to answer their questions, he had been just too tired. It could plainly be seen how concerned his father was about him, and Adam needn't look in the mirror to know what he looked like after a week on the mountain. He just had had enough strength to thank Emillia that she had warmed him water for a bath and prepared his bed with fresh linen. Adam looked in the mirror and had to chuckle. Sleep hadn't let him look any better, which was certainly due to the fact that he had felt no desire to shave yesterday. He ran his hand over his face and decided to catch up only after breakfast.

Ben's eyes widened when he saw Adam coming down the stairs. He had no idea what had happened in this one week he was traveling with Amarok, but whatever it was, it had pulled all strength out of his son's body. His face was gaunt and his eyes were small and tired. His steps were slow and rigid. Hoss had explained to him what it meant to get closer to the Great Spirit, but as Adam looked, something else must have happened. But what, Hoss didn't want to tell him last night. He only told him that it was Adam's journey, and he should tell it to him if he wanted to. So Ben was no step further with what had happened during the last days.

"Good morning, Adam."

Adam sat down at his chair and took a coffee. "Good morning."

Silently they continued breakfast. Even Little Joe realized that it was better to shut up today. "Adam, if you ride up to the pass today, would you mind checking if we need to repair something at the sheds before winter comes?"

Adam broke some of the bread and looked at his father, but before he could give him an answer Hoss stepped in. "Pa, I can do that."

Only his father's eyes moved to him. "No, Hoss, you've got already enough things to do."

Adam leaned back in his chair. "Pa, I'm tired and totally exhausted, and I don't want to argue with you today. I'd like to rest today and tomorrow a bit, and then ride to the pass on Wednesday."

"You know that you've spoken of a small break. But the way you look, I assume that you won't even be able to ride to the pass on Wednesday. Your small break turns out to last almost two weeks."

Shaking his head Adam got up and went upstairs to his room. So he did't hear as Emillia put her cup hard on the table. "Did that have to happen, Ben?"

"Emillia ..."

"No, you won't cut me short. Just like you, I don't know what Adam has done last week. But as he looks, he needs to recover for the next few days. If you were just a little more obliging, he'd surely tell you what has happened. In my entire life I've never seen two such stubborn men who make life so difficult for each other, simply because they don't talk to each other."

She pushed back the chair and stood up. "Please, excuse me. I need some fresh air."

Open-mouthed Ben looked after his wife as she left the house.

A knock awakened him. At first Adam didn't know where he was and where the knock came from. Then he realized that he was lying on his bed. He looked at his watch. With horror, he realized that it was already late afternoon. He had only intended to lay down a bit and then shave. With a little groan Adam stood up and opened his bedroom door.

"May I come in?"

Adam opened the door a little further and let Emillia enter the room. Then he had briefly to hold on to the door. It looked like he had stood up too fast. Adam took a deep breath and then sat down on his bed. "It won't get better if you don't start to eat something. Only with coffee and water you won't regain your strength."

She put a bowl of soup on the table. A little surprised Adam looked at her. "You needn't look so surprised. Koko was here in the morning, but you were sleeping so deeply that you haden't noticed ... She told me what you did last week."

She took a chair and sat down opposite him. "You could have died, Adam."

Adam shook his head. "No. Amarok was with me. He certainly wouldn't let it go that far."

Emillia stood up and handed Adam the bowl. "Adam, I know this is a very personal question, but I'd like to understand why the Indian way of life is so important to you. I mean, Hoss also spends a lot of time with Koko and her family, but he'd never do what you do."

She pointed to the bowl and looked at him seriously and slowly Adam began to eat the soup. "Hoss always had a different look at the things that surround him."

"You're evading me."

Subconsciously he laid hands on his chain. He did it again. He wriggled around everything only to avoid to take a stand on any position that concerned him. Adam exhaled heavily. He could feel how well the soup was working. Heat flowed through his body and the headache decreased slightly. "Because it isn't easy for me, Emillia."

"You're not accustomed to talk about what concerns you."

Since he didn't know what to answer her, he kept silent. She took a deep breath. "Even if you're going to be mad at me, I've got to tell you something. Your father believes that you're mentally the strongest of his boys, having both feet on the ground. That just as a child you knew exactely what you wanted, that you've been independent and responsible at an early age, and he didn't always had to keep an eye on you, and that you needed the least amount of love and care. But I see it differently. Yes, it's true, you're very self-conscious and had - as I've heard - to take responsibility quite early. But in my eyes you're the most sensitive of all and have only learned very well to hide behind your mask."

She paused for a moment. "I know your father very well now and can imagine how your childhood was like. You can tell what you want, but for me it's obvious that you've been lacking a mother."

Everything in him screamed that he should get up to leave the room. He didn't want to talk about himself. He wasn't ready to allow more holes in the wall. Suddenly he had the feeling that something warm was lying on his chest. He touched his chest and again he had the chain in his hand. Cold it laid there. He should start small and be patient. It was just so hard. He already had tried so often. He closed his eyes. But the last few days shouldn't have been in vain. So he pulled himself together and began. "At first I just liked to be together with Koko. Then I felt ... safe ... at Aponi and Amarok." He had to breathe deeply before he could go on. "The talks with Amarok helped me deal with my anger and my fears, and the more I talked to him and became acquainted with the world of the Gosiute, the more I realized that this is a part of me."

Adam paused thinking about why Koko's world was so important to him. "I'm sorry, Emillia. I can't explain it any better. I need the world of the Gosiute to cope with our world."

Very slowly Emillia nodded. She could see how much effort it had taken Adam to tell her that, and she wouldn't ask today, what he had meant exactely. She didn't want to break the thin bond, that was between them.

"Adam, the constant small disputes between your father and you are very stressful for us uninvolved family members. They only arise because the two of you don't really talk to each other. He's afraid that you're going to leave the Ponderosa, and you're afraid to commit yourself. Perhaps you can use the next days to talk calmly."

Emillia stood up and put the chair back in its place. "In the kitchen you can have even more soup. You should still have another bowl later."

"I'll do that, Emillia."

He rose from the bed. "After I've gotten shaved and ... I will talk to Pa. Promise."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Adam."

Then she closed the door behind her.

XXX

After supper Adam went outside for a little walk to find the necessary peace to talk with his father this evening. It had taken him almost the entire week to regain his strength, and if he wanted to change something, he had to start with his father. He only had two options. To leave the Ponderosa or to talk. To leave the ranch was not an option and out of question for him. What he had seen in his vision, and what he had already guessed the whole time in Boston was, that the Ponderosa was his home and he needed his family around him. He entered the house and looked at Emillia who understood him at once.

"Don't be angry, Ben, but I'm very tired. That's why I'm heading for bed a bit earlier."

Worried Ben looked at his wife. "Aren't you feeling well?"

"It's all right. As I said, I'm just a little tired."

She gave her husband a kiss and headed for the stairs. "Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Emillia."

Adam sat down in the blue chair and said nothing at first, just like Ben who continued reading his newspaper. For a while Adam stared simply into the fire. "You're still mad at me?"

Ben put his newspaper on his lap and watched Adam, whose eyes were still focused on the fire. "Yes, I'm angry with you, but only because I don't understand you and your actions."

Ben put his arms on the arm of his chair and tried to be patient which gave him quite a hard time. He still couldn't deal properly with the long breaks of conversation that Adam put in repeatedly. Adam turned to his father. "Why can't you just accept me and my way of thinking?"

Ben didn't take breaks. He didn't even have to think about it. The response was immediate. "Because I don't understand it, and you're not willing to tell me."

"Because you're not willing to understand me, and thus you don't listen."

Ben folded the newspaper, which he had on his lap and laid it emphatically on the table. "Adam, you know, I do respect and accept Amarok and his people, but you're not at the age of nine any longer. The Indians' world isn't your world, and Amarok is not your father. Become grown up at last!"

Adam was glad that he had only now searched for the conversation. Inside him was a deep calmness. On another day, this would have been the point where the conversation with his father would have gone in one certain direction only. "I know that you're my father. I will never forget, but Amarok and Aponi are very important people for me. Since we arrived here in Nevada, they've been at my side. There were times that I wouldn't have survived without them, and yes, they are like my second family."

His father knew exactly of which times Adam was alluding, and in fact he himself had to be grateful to Amarok and Aponi, but on the other hand it made him angry that they had so much influence on Adam. "Yes, I am also glad that they helped you in these times, but that doesn't mean that you have to live by their rules, or does Amarok expect that of you before you can get married to Koko?"

"Koko and I won't marry."

With a deep breath Ben sat up straight in the chair. In a low and very deep voice, he continued the conversation. "And you ask me why I don't understand you?"

"Koko and I knew it actually already before I left for Boston, but really clear it became to me last week. What connects me to Koko isn't the love that has connected you and Mum."

"I don't know. I hope you're not going to make a mistake."

"No, Pa. Our hearts don't beat in the same rhythm of love."

Ben leaned forward a bit. "See what I mean, Adam? Do you have to talk this way? Do you really believe all these things that Amarok told you?"

Adam closed his eyes when he felt again this slight warmth on his chest. He gently put his hand on the spot and could feel the snake through the shirt. "Yes, I believe in it and try to include it into my life. The Indian's way of life is a part of me, and I would hope you respect that as my father."

"How should I do that, when you're telling me hardly anything? Since you're home, you're growing more sitent every day when it comes to you and your future."

"We're back at the starting point, Pa. I'm not talking, because you cannot listen to me."

Ben leaned back. Was he really the problem? When he thought back, he'd got to hear again and again that he wasn't listening to Adam. From Marie, Amarok and also Emillia. "Then talk to me now. Tell me how you want your future to look."

Adam opened his eyes again. "I want to stay at the Ponderosa. Here is my home. I'd like to work together with you on your dream."

"Don't we try since you've returned?"

"No. At the moment I'm working for you. We don't work together."

Ben stood up. "Can you tolerate a cognac?"

"I'll know it after."

Ben filled two glasses. As he walked to his chair, he handed Adam one of them. "Adam, you're my son and I love you as I love your siblings, and I hate when we both argue. Every time it breaks my heart, but I think not only I need to change. Even you should learn to trust me again. Only then, I think, we can both work together here. I've got the feeling that you still can't forgive me, what happened after Marie's death."

The feelings and memories of that time fell with full force on Adam. Instinctively he held his breath. Again he sought for support by touching the snake. His voice was but a whisper. "You've let us down ... you let **me** down."

Ben put the glass on the table and walked over to his son. Adam had put his glass on the floor and leaned his elbows on his knees. The hands covered his mouth and he looked into the fire. Ben stood behind him and put his hands on Adam's shoulders. He spoke very quietly. "You cannot imagine how much I want to make this time undone. But it won't work. It has happened, and we should both try to live with it ... Please, Adam, don't let a mistake of mine be the reason that we can no longer rely on each other."

Adam looked down. "There is no "better" or "worse". Only variations. These must be respected. No matter if it's the color, the way of life or an idea."

"What did you say, Adam? I didn't understand you ."

Adam leaned back again. "Don't you worry, Pa. My heart won't harden. I'd like to tell you about the business that Tom and I will sign."

Ben touched Adam's shoulder again and squeezed it gently. "And I'll listen to you."

Ben went back to his chair and Adam told him of his plan.


	49. Chapter 49

Tom and Adam left the bank with a broad grin and walked towards the saloon. "Well, buddy. There's no way back. Now we're official business partners and own our own land. I think that should be celebrated and this time ..." Tom stopped and tapped his finger against Adam's chest. "... you'll pay. Because you had this crazy idea."

Adam had to laugh. His friend still gnawed because he had lost the bet. "There are only two months left. Then you've come through. Then everyone has to pay for his beer himself again. Unless you want to repeat the bet."

"Oh, certainly not. How can anyone be so decent as you are?"

Adam scratched his chin and smiled. "I would say I was lucky that Mitch and Buck were in Carson City all the time."

"Don't remind me of them two. I'm glad that they weren't here most of the year."

"Well, come on, partner. I don't want to be back late. I've promised my father to watch over Sarah this evening, so he and Emillia can go into town for dinner."

Adam wanted to go, but Tom held him by the arm. His gaze was fixed on the other side of the street. "What's it all about, Tom?"

Adam followed Tom's look with his eyes but couldn't see what might be the reason for his friend to react that way. Tom turned his back to the street. "The two guys who are on the other side, were already there when we came into town, and the guy who is on our side below, even hangs around for a long time."

Adam shrugged. "So what?"

A little boy ran past the two friends, and Tom held him by the jacket. "Kid, here you've a quarter. Go on as usual and tell the Sheriff to come here, but tell him to behave normally."

"Will do so, Sir."

The boy ran on towards the Sheriff's office. "Everything's fine with you, Tom? What's the point?"

"Don't you see it? I'm sure they plan to rob the bank."

Adam wanted to pull on his friend by his jacket. "Oh Tom, now you're joshing. Just because a few cowboys hang around here, doesn't mean they have anything planned."

Tom pulled his arm back. "No, Adam. I've got the feeling that the air is going to get very hot here."

Adam crossed his arms. "Tom, did you already take a drink at home?"

"They still stand there?"

Adam looked at the street. "Yes, they do, and you were right. They're doing something completely terrible."

Already at Adam's vocal pitch Tom knew that his friend pulled his leg. "Adam, that's not funny."

Adam rolled his eyes. It didn't take long and the Sheriff was with them. "What's going on, Tom?"

The Sheriff nodded to Adam. "Mr. Cartwright."

Adam greeted him back, but pulled the hat deeper into his face.

"The two guys who are on the road behind me, and the guy down the street are hanging around here for more than an hour."

Without moving his head, the Sheriff looked at the three men. "What do you think?"

Tom leaned loosely to the cross bar, so as to better see to the bank. "The Bank, …. the three horses standing in front were already tied there when Adam and I went to the bank before just over an hour."

The Sheriff turned up the collar of his jacket. "Well, Tom. You and your friend will stay on this site. I guess we're going to see soon what will happen."

Tom nodded and the Sheriff went back a bit, then crossed the street and disappeared into an alley. Tom reached into his jacket pocket, took out two cigarettes and handed one to Adam, who looked at him in disbelief. "What's that supposed to be? Since when do you smoke?"

"I don't smoke, but we don't want to attract any attention."

"You're playing a bad joke on me."

"This is something I wouldn't do. Don't you tell me, Adam, that you didn't notice those guys?"

"Of course I've seen them, but I didn't give them overly much attention."

Suddenly Tom put the cigarette back into his jacket pocket and slapped lightly against Adam's arm. "Let's go. Now we'll see if I had the right feeling. Come on, buddy."

Adam ran off with Tom. Although he still didn't believe that his friend was right, he pushed his jacket behind the holster when he saw the three men entering the bank. Tom pointed that Adam should position left next to the bank, while he stood beside a pillar opposite to the bank in order to have the door in view. Adam winced as a shot could be heard coming out of the bank, but at the same moment he drew his gun and looked at Tom. He indicated him to wait. It didn't take long and the door was flung open and three men were rushing out of the building.

"HANDS UP!"

The Sheriff's voice boomed along the road. With gun drawn, he was standing right side of the bank. Tom also moved gun drawn at the road so that he was now directly opposite the three men. One of the three jerked for his gun to shoot at Tom, but before he could pull the trigger Adam's friend had already shot. The man fell to the ground and held his arm. The two others looked at their friend in shock, let the saddlebags and weapons drop and raised their hands. At gunpoint the Sheriff, Tom and Adam approached the three men. They had just reached them as Mr. Forster rushed out of the bank. "Sheriff, they've shot Cliff!"

With a slight nod Sheriff Rushton pointed to Adam that he should go into the bank to check on the bank clerk. Adam put his gun back into its holster and went into the bank, which he had left with Tom less than twenty minutes before.

Cliff was lying behind the counter, but only one look was enough for Adam to see, that Tom's and his friend was dead. Shaking his head, Adam knelt beside his old school friend. Then he ran his hand over Cliff's eyes to close them. He stood up again to go back outside. Tom and the Sheriff had meanwhile collected the weapons and the men's bags and looked at Adam. His friend's face darkened when Adam shook his head. But before Tom could do something hasty, the Sheriff addressed them again. "Well, guys, then let's bring them to where they belong."

Rushton gave one of the men a shove in the back and went out. Adam and Tom followed him with the two other.

Clinking the keys dropped on the table, where the Sheriff let them fall. "Thank you, guys."

He opened a drawer, took out two pieces of paper and put them next to the keys. "I need a statement from each of you. Please, writes it right here and now." He handed both a pen. "Meanwhile I will get the Doc and go to the bank once again to talk with Mr. Forster. I guess when I get back, you'll be ready."

He took his hat and left the office. Tom took the piece of paper, sat down and began to write. "How did you know, Tom?"

His friend looked up and shrugged. "No idea. It was a feeling. I mean, who stands willingly for one hour simply around at this kind of weather. Furthermore, you could already see that they were up to something, and because I knew that the bank would close soon, I just put two and two together."

Adam leaned with both hands on the table. "And why didn't you say that? Maybe we would have been able to do something beforehand, and Cliff wouldn't be dead now."

Tom put down his pen and leaned back. "What could we have done? Until we stood in front of the bank, you didn't believe me as well and to storm the bank with gun drawn, would've been sheer suicide."

Adam struck his hand on the table and went to the window. Tom stood up and leaned against the wall next to Adam. "Buddy, I'm shocked, too, about what has happened to Cliff. But if you're honest, you know that we could've done nothing else." Adam nodded. "Then let's get this written and over with."

Later, the Sheriff went through the statements of the two and signed them. "Well. Next week the judge will come from Carson City. Be prepared for the hearing, and, guys, ... for your friend, I'm sorry, but if he hadn't intended to play the hero, he would still be alive."

Adam and Tom exchanged glances. "The guys had already packed the money and just wanted to leave the bank, and Cliff tried to go for the gun of one of them."

Tom hung his head and put his hands in his pocket. "Idiot."

„Tom…!"

"I'm sorry, Adam. But he has always told me that - if the bank is going to be robbed - he would shoot down the guys, and I've repeatedly told him that he shouldn't even think about it."

Adam briefly put his hand on Tom's back. "Let's go, Tom."

Adam opened the door and wanted Tom to pass through. "Tom ... did you think about what we both have been talking about the last week?"

Tom stopped and looked at the Sheriff. "I'm not sure, I ... need a few more days."

"You know where to find me."

"Yes."

The two friends left the office and remained a little indecisive in front of it. "Well, buddy, this day I imagined somehow differently." Adam took his watch from his pocket. "For a beer I've still got time. Let's go for a drink anyway."

Without saying a word, they went to the saloon, each being in his own deep thoughts. Only when they stood at the bar with the beer in hand, they talked to each other again. "To Cliff, Adam."

"To Cliff!"

Adam drank half of the beer and then put it down. "Tom, what was it you should think about?"

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand Tom looked at Adam questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"The Sheriff ... he asked you if you've already thought about something."

Adam picked up his glass to take a sip. Tom glanced away and looked at his beer. "He offered me a job."

Coughing Adam put the glass down. At his friend's words he had swallowed the beer. "You're joshing?"

"Nope."

"Tom, how does he get such an idea?"

"He believes that the badge would be perfect for me."

"That's not answering my question. I mean, you already stayed more than twice over night at the Sheriff's office."

"Believe me, buddy, I was just as surprised as you when he asked me. But he thinks the people in town would appreciate me, and that he had seen me several times settling a dispute only with words and not with the gun, and that I have the look a Sheriff needs."

Adam took a sip of beer in order to understand the words of his friend. "But you won't accept the job, will you?" His friend stood silently beside him. Adam grabbed him by the shoulder. "Tom, you're not thinking seriously about it?" Very slowly his friend nodded. Adam exhaled loudly. "You're nuts, Tom."

"No, Adam ... you know very well that the work at the ranch is no fun for me. I don't like it, while my brother loves it. Rick would take my place right away. I'm sure of it, and ... please don't laugh at me now, but what happened today, felt good." Adam's eyes widened. "I know it sounds very hard, especially after what happened to Cliff, but with every day that passes, I think that the badge is what I want to do."

With a gesture Adam hinted the bartender that they wanted another round. "What does your father say?"

"I haven't told him yet."

„Sybil?"

"Not yet."

"Shouldn't a man who works for the law, be brave?"

"But he shouldn't rashly run into danger, and besides, I'm only the deputy, and thus one may still be a little fearful."

Adam shook his head laughing and raised his glass. "The positive aspect of your very surprising decision ..." Adam turned halfway to him and grinned. "... would be that I get your share if some crazy gone guy shoots a bullet in your chest."

Tom raised his glass. "I always knew why you're my best friend, buddy. You're always so concerned about my welfare."

XXXX

Although he was awake, Adam's eyes were still closed. He felt that he was being watched. He opened his eyes and turned slowly to the door. At his bedside Sarah was standing looking at him. She was still wearing her nightie, chewing on her snuffle. "Good morning, Winona. Did you already climb secretly out of your bed?"

Still chewing and with big eyes she bowed her head. "Mili."

"You want to have a glass of milk?"Mili."

Adam looked at the feet of his sister. "But first you have to put on your socks and slippers. It's still very early, and down in the kitchen it isn't so warm yet."

She took the snuffle from her mouth and smiled. "Nono, arm."

Adam smiled as well. Since he had taken her to Koko a couple of times, where Sarah had heard how he was addressed with his Indian name, she called him only "Nono" because it was easier for her to say than Adam. Of course, his father was again not delighted. "Although I will carry you down, you first need to put on your socks and shoes."

"Nono help."

"I'll do. Look, Winona. You go to your room and fetch your things, and I get dressed quickly, and then we both sneak in the kitchen, but ..." He put his finger to his lips. "... but softly. Today is Sunday, and Ma and Pa may sleep longer. We don't want to wake them up yet, do we?"

Sarah also put her finger to her lips and tried to sneak out of the room, but then turned back, ran back to Adam and gave him her snuffle. "I shall take care of it?"

"Nono, care."

"I'll do, little sunshine, but now run quickly, otherwise the others wake up even before we are in the kitchen at all."

Sarah left the room, and Adam stood up to get dressed. A few minutes later he went down the stairs to the kitchen with his sister on his arm. At the door he remained standing open mouthed, and Sarah screamed with pleasure. "Joe, yuck."

Startled, Little Joe turned to the door. He was spattered with flour and egg from head to toe. On the floor, on the table and on the stove everything was covered with flour, egg and sugar. On the table also a jug of milk was knocked over. Stunned Adam looked at his brother and let Sarah gently down to the floor. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"I ... well ... I ..." Little Joe scratched his head and looked around the kitchen. "... I wanted to make Pa and Mum happy today and ... oh, well ... I thought ..." He grinned a little sheepishly. "I ... could make breakfast."

Sarah ran to the table and slapped with her hands into the milk. "Mili ... splash ..!"

Adam closed his eyes. He had hoped if he opened them again, he would lie in his bed and everything just turned out to be a bad dream. But then he heard Sarah again splashing in the milk. So he opened his eyes again and tried to stay calm. "Joe, if Pa sees this, it'll be a very unpleasant Sunday for you."

"Adam ... I really don't know how this could happen. With Mum and Hop Sing it always looks so easy."

Adam looked at the clock that hung on the wall. If they were lucky, they had just a little more than an hour left to clean up this mess in the kitchen. "All right, Joe! You go upstairs and change clothes. I'm starting to tidy things up, and Joe, ... be quiet."

"Thanks, Adam!"

Little Joe went to leave, as Adam held him by the arm. "Joe, ...?" His little brother looked at him innocently. "... and don't forget to bring Mr. Conner's letter."

Joe got a little bit pale. "How ... I mean ... how can you ..."

"My dear brother, when you wake up before me on a Sunday morning and then develop such an eagerness it can only have one reason ... you've done something wrong in school."

"But Adam, ... it wasn't my fault. Believe me! The toads hopped out of the pocket all by themselves." 

"Toads?"

Joe, still being held by Adam, looked down. "Actually Greg and I wanted to do that after school, but in the classroom, the toads have somehow escaped out of my pocket, and then ...!" He looked at his brother with enthusiasm. "Adam, you should've heard the girls screaming and jumping on their benches and ..."

„Joe!"

Joe lowered his head again. "I'll bring down the letter."

Adam let his brother go. Then he looked at Sarah, who, meanwhile, sat on the floor and poured flour over her head. "Nono, snow."

Now Adam was sure. He wouldn't be able to clean up this mess in time. As there was Christmas in two weeks, he only hoped that his father wouldn't hit the roof. Adam went to the cupboard, took out a mug and poured some milk into it. Then he took a biscuit from a tin and crouched down in front of Sarah. "And do you know what is lacking when it snows so beautifully?"

He gave her the mug that she held instantly with both hands. "A glass of milk and a delicious Christmas cookie."

He offered her the biscuit. "Have."

And with a big smile on her face she changed the mug for the biscuit.


	50. Chapter 50

Quite done Emillia sat down in the chair. Her eyes went to the clock. With luck, she would have ten minutes left before Sarah woke up from her nap. She longed for a cup of tea, but she hadn't time to fix one. She was about to close her eyes briefly, as the front door opened. Adam came in and looked at her. He put down his hat and his stuff without averting his eyes from her. "You don't feel well, Emillia?"

She smiled slightly, but couldn't hide her tiredness. "It's all right, Adam. You're back very early. We hadn't expected you until tomorrow."

Adam crouched beside the chair and took her hand. "I finished faster than I thought. Emillia, you don't look so well."

She sat up straight. "I'm just a bit tired. Your brother thought he would have a little fight with Greg today after school. Not only has his jacket taken its toll, no, you know how the ground looks outside. If I hadn't washed the clothes right away, I couldn't have removed the stains. And of course Little Joe needed a wash, too."

Adam bit his lips and looked down. He would have liked to go up and pull down his brother to make him muck out the whole barn. As so often, Little Joe didn't worry about what consequences his actions might have on others. And especially now that Hop Sing was at the wedding of cousin No. 5 in San Francisco. "Where's Pa?"

"He went with George to Reno to check on the bull."

"But he wanted to go next week."

"Actually, yes, but as the weather has improved, they decided to leave yesterday."

Adam took a deep breath and wondered why his father hadn't been able to wait until he was back. He knew perfectly well what Little Joe was up to at the moment. He turned around to look at the clock. "Sarah will wake up soon?"

Emillia nodded. "I promised her that we'll bake a cake after her nap."

Adam shook his head. "You will rest nicely the rest of the day. I'll take care of Sarah and the supper. "

"Adam, that's sweet of you, but you've just gotten back. You certainly will want to have a rest yourself."

"I'm not tired. I'm going to fix you a cup of tea and then look after Sarah."

Emillia turned her head. "Thank you, Adam!",

She said with a feeble voice. He was about to get up when he saw her slowly closing her eyes, inhaling deeply, but not exhaling again. A cold shiver ran down his spine. He felt all the blood draining from his veins. He squeezed the hand he still held, and with horror in his eyes, he called her name.

"Emillia ...!"

She opened her eyes, exhaled and looked at him. "Adam?"

He went back into a crouch and put both hands to his face and sought his balance of mind, body and soul. He took his hands down again and Emillia still could see the worry and the fear in his face. "Adam, you ... haven't been thinking that I ..." Now she took his hand. "You really don't have to worry. I'm just tired. It was exactely the same with Sarah in the last few weeks." She smiled again. "Remember, I'm not twenty-five any more."

"Sorry. I know it was silly ... to think such a thing."

"It wasn't, Adam." She paused and looked at him kindly. "I cannot remember exactly what you always say about the hearts, but the woman who takes this place in your heart, can really be lucky. I'm sure you'll be a loving husband."

A slight smile crossed Adam's face. "Two hearts beating in the same rhythm."

In his mind the image of Bridget appeared all of a sudden, and he again felt this emptiness.

"Should it be me to ask now if everything's alright?"

Emillia held his hand, but before she could say anything, Adam interrupted her. "Please don't, Emillia. I ... I don't want to talk about."

She let go of his hand and stood up. "I'll lie down a bit. Can you please bring me the tea to my room upstairs?"

"I can do that.

She walked up the stairs and Adam went into the kitchen.

XXXXX

Ben stood beside the desk and looked at the papers and drawings that were on the table in front of Adam. "And, are you on schedule?"

Adam dropped a letter on the table and leaned back. "Let's put it this way, ... we shouldn't get another heavy frost."

"Now, end of February, it could still happen. By when does the timber have to be in Brier Creek?"

„At the end of May."

"You're quite brave or should I say, crazy?"

Adam grinned. "It'll work out. If not, I'll sell our timber to you."

"But I don't need any timber."

"Well, then I will sell the timber again. So I can get double cash."

Laughing Ben slapped his son on the shoulder. "I only can be glad that you're my son. I wouldn't like to do any business with you." Ben looked around. "The way the table looks, I probably won't be able to do some of MY work today."

His son grimaced. "Actually, I've still got some work to do."

With one hand on the chair Ben looked at his son seriously. "But you already know that this is my office here, right?"

Adam's eyebrows raised, but then his father smiled at him. "Maybe you should show us what you've done all the time in Boston and plan where to build your own office."

Adam scratched his head. "I'll see what comes to my mind. It's indeed getting pretty crowded here. Because of that you should even think, what we should do about the dining room ..." He crossed his arms and grinned at his father. "... And you should best think fast, because if you go on at this pace ... "

Ben raised his hand. "Don't you get cheeky, son."

Ben opened the drawer and pulled out a letter. "Unfortunately, I also have not so good news." He handed Adam the envelope. "Our plan to do business with England this year won't work."

Adam couldn't hide his anger that raised in him when he read the letter. He angrily threw the letter on the table. "I told you that you should go to San Francisco to negotiate with them personally."

"Don't raise your voice to me, son. If they don't agree to our conditions, then we'll have to wait until we find someone who does."

Adam stood up. "Oh, come on, Pa. You know that there will be no other in the near future. I don't understand why you want to give up so quickly?"

"Because there's no alternative. I cannot go to San Francisco now. The baby can come any time, and then I want to be here."

Adam grabbed the letter. "Then I will ride out."

Bolt upright Ben stood ahead of his son. "You won't! We'll soon begin the round up, and if the child is already born, you have to supervise the work. I can't let Hoss do all the work alone."

In no time Adam cleared the desk. "I want to have our timber to be delivered to England this year, and so I'll leave today."

Ben's face was red with anger. "I forbid you to do that. What do you expect at all? Do you think you knock on the door, and they will be awestruck and accept our conditions?"

"I'll be back in time ... with the contract."

Adam ran up the stairs to pack his saddlebag. And he didn't listen to the furious calls of his father.

XXXXX

He had returned later from the city, as he had intended to. But Tom had insisted to toast with a beer on Adam's success. His hand grabbed his jacket, and he could feel the contract that was in his inside pocket. The negotiations hadn't been easy, but in the end he had enforced almost all their demands. For a day in March it was very mild, and Adam wondered if he shouldn't spend the evening with Koko. They hadn't seen each other for quite a while and today would be a good occasion to visit her once again. Whether he'd pick up his father's anger now or two hours later, wouldn't make any difference. At the Beaver Creek he therefore turned in her direction. Because he wasn't sure whether it was going to rain, he stabled Sport and then knocked on the door.

"Adam ... come on in! Glad, you came along."

He entered the house, laid aside his stuff and pulled the contract from his pocket. "Have your parents already moved down to the village?"

"It was already so warm, so they packed up two days ago."

Adam looked at the contract. "Look what I've got here!"

Koko came back from the kitchen. "Now, don't tell me this is the contract that you've been in San Francisco for?"

"Hoss told you about it?"

Laughing, she came closer and looked at the contract. "Not only that, but also how mad your father is at you."

He smiled and winked. „You know, noone can resist an Adam Cartwright!"

She had to laugh even louder. "Adam ... you must have made a stop at Tom's. This is his typical saying."

"Koko, I'm just happy and proud that I got the contract."

"That's obvious. Then I will spoil you today with a delicious meal."

She came a step closer. "I'm proud of you, too."

Koko gave him a gentle kiss. But instead of going into the kitchen, this kiss became longer and more passionate. Adam pulled Koko close. Actually she should gently push him away now. After all, they had both talked about the fact that not that kind of love bound them. But somehow it was different tonight. They broke the kiss and looked at each other. Without saying a word, their lips approached once again, and Adam pushed Koko slowly into her room. While moving on his hands stroked down her back and opened her dress. With his foot he pushed the door shut behind them.

XX

Adam sat on the bench in front of the house. Not for long and the blackness of the night would give way to the early morning light. Although Koko opened the front door very softly, he could hear her. She sat down beside him, leaning against him, as he put his arm around her. "That shouldn't have happened, Adam."

Both didn't look at each other. "I know. I'm sorry, Koko."

Softly she laughed. "That wasn't your fault all alone and ..." Briefly she paused. "... I'm glad that I was able to have this experience with you. Then I needn't to be afraid of it any more."

Adam turned to her and looked at her in astonishment. "Koko, if you have to be afraid, it's not the right man with whom you are married."

She didn't look at him, but snuggled slightly closer to him. "You know that my father always has paid attention to the fact that I get to know his world and my mother's to decide for myself, in which I want to live. But ...", she took a deep breath and looked at him, "... if I'm not married by next year he's going to pick me a man of his tribe. Otherwise he would lose face."

It took Adam a bit to understand the words properly. "Koko, you're telling me straight, he expects you to marry someone you don't love?"

She gave him no answer. He could see that she had tears in her eyes. Stunned, he looked at her. "I won't let this happen, Koko. Before that happens, we'll both get married. And I'm sure that everyone who knows us will believe that we love each other."

She leaned against his shoulder again. "You'd really renounce on your great love just so I'm not unhappy?"

Adam looked forward again and closed his eyes. "I dont know what you mean."

"Why don't you talk to me about her, and why didn't she come home with you? ... is she already married to someone else?"

For a long time he looked into the darkness until he had the impression that a snake meandered over before his eyes. He blinked his eyes and the image disappeared. "I can't. It hurts too much." He put his hand on his heart. "I want to forget her finally."

"But why?"

He leaned his head against the wall, and his next words came very quietly. "Because I love her so much."

"Adam, ... I don't understand."

"Koko, please don't ... I cannot forget her when I have to talk about her."

"You left Boston almost two years ago and you're still thinking about her. You won't forget her."

She could feel his whole body tensing up. "You don't tell me either if there's someone in your life whose heart beats in the rhythm of yours."

"I'd tell you if I was sure, but at the moment I'm not. But I'm not afraid to love someone."

He slowly sat back upright and looked at her. "Are you telling me there's someone? If there is, why are you worrying that you have to marry a warrior from the village?"

"Because it's not quite that simple, but I'll talk to you as soon as I'm sure about my feelings."

He had to smile a bit. "But you won't tell me about whom we're talking?"

She smiled at him. "No. Not yet."

He kissed her on the forehead. "Koko, I promise, when it doesn't hurt so much any more I'll talk to you about her, but at the moment I can't even do that." Then he took her chin in his hand and looked at her firmly. "And you promise to only marry a man whom you really love. And if you're not sure next year, then we'll both get married. And I'll release you any time, when you've found the right one."

"I'm glad you're my friend."

He sat up straight and took her in his arms again. "And I'm glad that you punched Mitch on the nose at that time."

"Will we still sit here on the bench when we're old and gray?"

Adam laughed. "Well, I'm sure, when I'm sitting with you on this bench this way, then I'll get a punch from your husband."

She had to laugh. "I think that our partners will have some difficulties anyway in understanding our relationship."

"Koko, like your father always says, experience the moment, so let's enjoy this moment now."

XXXX

With a deep breath Adam opened the front door. He threw his hat on the sideboard and said good morning.

„Nono!"

Sarah sat in her chair and raised her arms. Adam put down his remaining stuff and gave his sister a kiss on the hair. In the kitchen Hop Sing had heard, that Adam had come home and brought him a place setting. When sitting down Adam took the coffeepot. "Well, I see, I'm not too late. How are you, Emillia?"

"Fine, thanks Adam, but it's getting really tiring."

Ben slammed his hand on the table. "Can you both stop? Of course, you're too late! In fact I've been expecting you back last night."

Adam's eyes narrowed in surprise. "Hoss saw you yesterday as you were on your way home. But I waited in vain for my son."

Adam sipped his coffee, then leaned back in his chair. "I've got the signed contract in my pocket. We can ship our timber to England starting April. At our conditions."

"Where have you been all night?"

Both looked at each other long time. None of them backed down. "I will put the contract on the desk."

"Have you been all night at Koko's?"

"Hoss ...!"

Emillia stood up slowly. "... While your father and your brother are arguing again, could you please ride into town and get the doctor?"

Then she looked at Ben and Adam. "You two can go on to smash your heads. I only can hope that the baby born today, won't be as stubborn as you both are."

With her hand on her belly, she went to the stairs.


	51. Chapter 51

Ben walked up and down in the living room and kept looking at the stairs. He wondered why it took as long this time. To Sarah it didn't take so long. He watched Hoss, who sat slumped in his chair. He had given up trying to calm his father. "Hoss, what takes so long?"

"Dunno, Pa."

"What takes Adam so long in the kitchen?"

Hoss jumped out of the chair. "I'm going to check."

Relieved Hoss went into the kitchen and sat down in a chair with a deep sigh. "Well, you have taken flight?"

Adam stood at the sink. Sarah sat beside it on the shelf and ate bread. "Believe me, Adam, when waiting for Sarah, he wasn't in such a terrible mood."

Hoss' brother took a deep breath. "I hope everything's going well."

Adam handed his sister a cup of milk. "Adam, are you worried? Otherwise you're always the one who tells us everything will be fine."

"More hungry."

Adam took Sarah's cup out of her hand and smiled at her. "You'd like to have another piece of bread?"

She clapped her hands and nodded. "Yep ... Yep …. Yep …"

Adam turned to Hoss. "Do you want to have a slice of bread, too, or are you still waiting for Little Joe?"

Hoss slightly bowed his head, but looked at Adam still. "Well, if it won't bother you?"

"Winona, do we want to give Hoss some of the bread?"

She looked past Adam to her brother and held out her arms to be lifted down. Then she went to the table, took the loaf and gave it Hoss. "All."

Hoss laughed loudly. "No, my little foal. I'm going to share with you."

He handed the loaf to Adam and Sarah climbed on his lap. "Adam, do you really think that something's wrong with Mum?"

Adam stood with his back to his siblings. He held his breath and closed his eyes. He could still remember well when Hoss was born. How much fear he had, because he didn't understand what was happening to Inger, and his father not being there to explain it to him. At Joe, it wasn't any better. Marie had had a lot of pain, and when he couldn't bear it any longer, he had taken Hoss and had gone out with him to the horses. On this day, too, his father arrived very late and was then all the time at Marie's side. Therefore Adam had actually been very happy that he was in Boston at Sarah's birth. Without turning around, he answered his brother. "It'll all go well."

Only now he turned to his siblings again and gave each a sandwich. Before Hoss began to eat, he looked at Adam a long time. "What's going on, Hoss? Is it too small?"

"No." Hoss blushed. "Have you really been with Koko all night long? Aponi and Amarok have already moved into the village, and actually I thought you were just good friends."

Teeth clenched he looked at Hoss. What should he say now? He hated to lie. On the one hand he'd certainly not tell what had happened the night before, and on the other hand he didn't know what would be with Koko and him next year. If she hadn't found a husband until then, he would marry her, so he couldn't say now that they were just good friends either. Then he smiled, slapped Hoss's shoulder, and went to the stove to put on water for coffee. "You know Koko and me. We both don't really know what's between us, and ... I was just so done from the trip yesterday that I fell asleep there."

He put the coffee pot on the stove. "You should now go back to Pa, otherwise he will crack up completely. I'll be along with the coffee."

Hoss took Sarah off his lap, but before he went into the living room, he again had a long look at Adam. Then he offered Sarah his hand. "Are you coming with me?"

She shook her head. "Nono stay."

Caressing her head he left the kitchen.

XXXXX

Softly Adam closed the door of the guest room. He had decided with Ben that they would rather let Sarah sleep there tonight, in case it might be too loud above. His father no longer paced through the house. With staring eyes he sat in his chair and looked into the fire. Adam went to the settee and put his hand on Little Joe's shoulder. "You shouldn't stay up much longer. If you want, you can also sleep down here at Winona. Then she isn't alone, if she should wake up and doesn't know where she is."

His little brother looked at him, and Adam could see that he was just as worried as the rest of the family. In the morning Hoss hadn't only brought the doctor, but had ridden to the village of the Gosiute to bring Aponi to the Ponderosa. Since she had been here at the birth of Sarah, Hoss knew that this time as well it was Emillia's wish to have her at her side. About an hour ago Aponi had briefly come down to get fresh water. She hadn't talked much. Except that it wasn't as easy as with Sarah. Then she went back upstairs right away.

"Joe, please don't worry. I promise I'll let you know when the baby's born."

Joe looked again to his father and stood up. "Thank you, Adam."

Adam sat in the other chair. Hoss was just outside and took care of the horses. "Pa, you should eat something."

His father shook his head. "Adam, please tell me that it isn't already happening again. What did I do, that no woman at my side can grow old with me?"

Only Adam's cheek twitched slightly. Otherwise you couldn't tell how he just felt just. He could soothe his brothers, but not his father. To him, he wanted to say that he should have considered this before the wedding. But then these would have been reckless arrows because he himself had to deal with his fear. "We still don't know what's going on."

He couldn't think of what more he could tell his father. "I don't know what I'm going to do, if she dies."

Adam leaned back. His jaw ached of strain. To regain his balance, he opened another button of his shirt, to take the snake on the chain right into his hand. He could literally feel the wall intensifying again when he vowed that he'd never let it come this far. He would eventually marry Koko, if need be, but otherwise he'd never go that way, and certainly not like his father four times. He turned his head when he heard the door opening upstairs. He and his father looked at each other, and both got up slowly. Aponi came down but a few steps and asked Ben to go upstairs with her. Without paying any attention to Adam, Ben ran past him and disappeared with Aponi in the room. As the door closed above, Adam hit with his fist against the brickwall of the fireplace. He looked at the floor, trying to calm down. Adam felt the warmth of the blood that spread over his hand. The door was flung open, Hoss came in and looked around instantly. "Where's Pa?"

Without lifting his head, he talked to his brother. "He's upstairs."

Hoss didn't dare to move. "Adam ... is ..."

Adam said nothing. He was startled when Hoss shouted at him. "Adam, dad-burnit, what about Mum?"

Adam raised his head and let his arms hang. "I don't know, Hoss. Aponi took Pa upstairs without saying anything."

Hoss sat down in the chair. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you." His gaze fell on Adam's hand. "You're bleeding, Adam."

He looked at his hand. The ankles were pitched with blood running down the back of his hand. "I'll go and get you a towel."

Adam squeezed Hoss' shoulder as he walked past him. "Thanks, but I need some fresh air."

He took a little detour through the kitchen to get a towel for his hand and went outside. He would have liked to never go back into the house again, but finally good sense prevailed. He had the doorknob still in hand when he saw Hoss raising from his chair and looking toward the stairs. Adam followed his gaze. His father came down the stairs with a smile and the baby in his arms. The two brothers exchanged glances and went to meet their father.

"Sons, say hello to your sister Sophia."

Hoss was smiling all over his face when he looked at his sister, even Adam relaxed slightly. But then he had to ask the question. "Pa, what about Emillia?"

"She's pretty exhausted, but she's fine. Paul says, we don't need to worry. In the near future she only needs plenty of rest."

Hoss and Adam sighed with relief. "In the next few weeks Aponi will stay with us again as it was with Sarah. Adam, can you please get the guest room fixed upstairs?"

"Will do."

Adam wanted to go, as Ben held his arm. "What's with your hand?"

Adam raised his right hand looking at it. "Everything's all right. I've only lightly banged it."

Ben looked his son into the eyes, but Adam turned his head and continued his way upstairs.

XXXX

It wasn't until late May Emillia was right and back on her feet. She sat with closed eyes and Sophia in her arms on the porch and enjoyed the warm day in May. She opened one eye only when she heard that someone rode into the yard. She frowned, wondering just where Joe was. Actually, he should still be in school. Hoss was at the farm, and Adam had grabbed Sarah and had ridden with her to the creek. Ben sat at his desk. So she opened both eyes and stood up to welcome Tom. She was almost sure that her youngest had been getting up to some nonsense again.

"Hello, Mrs Cartwright." Tom dismounted and took off his hat." "How are you, ma'am?"

"Thank you, Tom. Just fine. What brings you out here? Is Joe the cause for your visit?"

Tom laughed. "No, not today. I'm looking for Adam."

"Is he in trouble?"

Now Tom had to laugh even more. "I think I won't see that day when I have to come out here because of Adam. No ..." Tom played nervously with his hat in his hand. "... Sybil and I want to get married in July, before they all go of to the cattle drive, and Adam shall be my best man."

Emillia took Tom's arm. "I'm glad for both of you, Tom. Especially because you still had those concerns that she wouldn't accept your decision to leave the ranch."

"I'm really glad, too. The trouble that with my father was enough for me."

"But Adam told me that he has calmed down now. Especially because he sees how well your brother manages the business."

"Yes, it has taken me a lot of will power to take the job of the Deputy, but now I'm glad. It was the right decision."

"I think so, too, and as I've heard from several people, you're doing your job very well ..." She smiled. "... but you certainly didn't come here to spend the morning with me. Adam's with Sarah down at the creek. I guess you know his favourite place."

Tom put on his hat and mounted. "Thank you, Mrs Cartwright. I'll find him. My regards to your husband."

"Thank you, Tom."

She waved goodbye, sat down on the porch and thought. Now Tom would marry as the last of Adams friends, and she really was happy for him. Tom had changed a lot during the last months. He appeared more grown up, which might as well be due to the fact that he had left the ranch and now lived in town. Then she thought of Adam. There was no indication that he planned somehow to raise his own family. At the moment, no one was quite sure anyway about his ambitions in this respect. Now and then he went with Holly for a dance, then again he spent Saturday night at Koko's. Moreover Emillia had the impression that she no longer had this close connection to Adam since the birth of Sophia as in the times before. The bond that had developed between them had become very thin again. Twice she had tried to talk to him, but he blocked all conversations in this regard. On the contrary, she believed that it would had been best for Ben's eldest to show a little more emotion. The only one who probably wished that Adam would stay forever on the Ponderosa was Sarah. She was so attached to her brother that she got sick every time Adam left more than two days. Her thoughts were interrupted when Sophia on her arm became restless and indicated that she obviously was hungry.

XXX

"For goodness' sake, Adam! The cattle drive isn't going on for the next three weeks. Why are you so stressed? Pa has told us, we're well on schedule."

Hoss closed the front door, and the two brothers took off their stuff. "I'm not stressed, you're just very slow."

"I am WHAT?" Hoss pushed his finger against the chest of his brother. "I don't know how you got out of the wrong side of the bed, big brother, but maybe you should climb to your mountain before the cattle drive. That would be the better for all of us."

Adam was about to reply when Hoss raised his hand. "No, I don't want to have more talk right now. My belly screams for food, and the way it smells, Hop Sing has outdone himself today."

Hoss left Adam and sat down at the table with the others.

"Problems, Adam?"

Ben looked at him as Adam sat down. "No. It's all right. Hoss is only hungry. You know how he is then."

Hoss pointed the fork at him. "I'm just saying mountain, dear brother."

"Mountain?"

"Nothing, Pa. And it would be nice Hoss, if we could change the subject."

"Yes, because I've already an issue." Emillia looked seriously into the round. "I think it would be nice if you all, and I mean all ...", she gave her husband a look. "... check on your suits before the wedding on Saturday. You cannot expect me to check in your closets if everything is alright, and I don't want to start to sew buttons or to iron half the day just a day earlier."

All four looked at each other and nodded obediently with their heads. They could still vividly remember how mad Emillia has been the last time when they came along with their clothes just a day before.

In the evening, Adam was about to sit down with a book in the living room when his father gave him a letter. "I had almost forgotten it. I got it with the mail today."

Adam looked at the envelope.

"Who do you know in Beardstown?"

Adam looked at his father. "No one."

Then he looked at the handwriting again more closely and he instantly knew by whom the letter was written. Since he didn't want to open it in front of the others, he put his book on the table and went upstairs.

"Adam?"

On the landing he paused and looked down at his father. "I'll be right back."

In his room, he leaned against the door. After a few minutes he had collected himself and opened the envelope. After just a few lines he struck his head back against the door. He had known it was a mistake to open the letter. Already after the first sentence, he could hear her voice and laughter. Again he hit his head against the door. Why couldn't he finally forget her? He pushed away from the door, opened the drawer of his desk, threw the letter in and slammed the drawer shut. Then he left his room and ran downstairs. Ignoring anyone, he put on his gun belt and took his hat.

"Where are you going?"

„To town."

Adam slammed the door shut, and Ben and the others looked at each other. "Should I go after him, Pa?"

Ben thought for a moment. That his son had been annoyed about something, could clearly be seen, but he would certainly ride to Tom to talk to him. So he had nothing to worry about. "No. He will go to Tom. You can stay at home."

Hoss sat down again continuing to play checkers with Little Joe.

XXXX

Adam entered the saloon and ordered a beer. For a Monday night it was quite busy. The first beer he drank in one swallow and immediately ordered the next. He hoped this would make her voice disappear from his head. So far the only thing he had achieved after the third beer, was that he could feel the bad wolf in him getting stronger. But after all the past few weeks, in which he had so much pulled himself together and had tried to find his balance again, but in vain, he had no strength left to fight him. Today he wanted to give vent to his anger and his pain. He turned around. Then his eyes fell on Buck. Mitch was obviously not around. Adam took another swig from the fourth beer and strolled over to Buck's table.

"Where did you leave the other half of your pea brain?"

Buck cocked his head and looked at him. "Are you looking for trouble, Cartwright?"

"With you? What good will that do? It surprises me already that you can walk straight anyway."

With a jump Buck stood before him. "You think because your pet dog now plays Sheriff, you can call the shots?"

"Unlike you I need no one to protect me."

Buck drew back for a blow. Adam stepped aside and Buck stumbled past him and could barely hold onto the counter to avoid falling. With an angry face he turned and saw Adam grinning at him. "And you wonder why I call you pea brain? After all the years you two still make the same mistakes."

Buck rushed forward, and Adam could have stepped aside easily, but he didn't want to. He wanted to fight with Buck here and now. Shortly after, chaos reigned in the saloon. Buck and Adam weren't the only ones fighting. Without any difficulty Adam could have sent Buck down long ago, but he didn't want to win the fight. That which the beer hadn't succeeded in, Mitch's friend should now accomplish with his punches. Therefore Adam grabbed Buck by the collar, pushed him against a table and tried to provoke him with words. At this moment the Sheriff and Tom came into the saloon. With a few gunshots in the air and a loud voice, they tried to stop the fight. Adam pulled Buck close and gave him a light punch in the belly and whispered in his ear. "Too bad, you little stinking rat, I would have liked to finish you off."

Buck reached for a bottle on the table and hit it with full force against Adam's temple. Adam reeled sideways, but Buck held him firmly by the shirt and hit him a few more times in the face and to the body, until he realized that Adam wasn't hardly able to stand on his own two feet any longer. Buck let go of him and watched with a dirty grin as he slumped down. Then he looked around and noticed the Sheriff. He quickly sneaked of to another corner of the saloon.

When Adam came slowly back to his senses, Tom and the sheriff had managed to get all quiet in the saloon. While Rushton spoke to the barkeeper, Tom tried to help his friend to his feet. "Adam, what are you doing here on a Monday night?"

Adam wasn't able to answer his friend. He had to fight hard to stop the room spinning. Rushton came to Tom's side. "You can keep on holding your friend and take him to our office."

„I whould rather bring him home."

"He can go tomorrow when he has rested and has enough money."

Blankly Tom looked at his boss who pointed at Adam. "Your friend here has caused this mess."

„Adam? That can't be true!"

"That's the way it is. Several men have testified that he already came in in a very bad mood, drunk four beers in no time and then has been looking for a fight."

Disbelieving Tom looked at Adam, who still couldn't stand properly on his own feet.  
"He never drinks more than two beers anyway!"

Now Rushton snapped at him louder. "Tom, you'll bring him out of here, or do I need to remind you what your job is?"

„No, Sir."

He tightened his grip on Adam's arm and brought him over to the office and laid him on the bunk in the cell. When he locked the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's never easy to take action against a good friend, son, but you can't make any difference in this job. Especially then you have to abide all the laws. Otherwise you'll be implausible."

Tom looked back into the cell to Adam. He knew Adam for so long now, and yes, he'd been provoked again and again by Buck and Mitch, but his friend had never started a brawl deliberately. Whatever had happened today, got him completely off course. "Shouldn't we get the Doc, so he can have a look at him?"

The sheriff slapped him lightly on the back. "I've already told him about it. He's on his way and you're sitting down now and start writing the report."

With a last look at his friend, Tom left the cell area.


	52. Chapter 52

Ben stopped his horse in front of the sheriff's office. "Have fun in school ..." He looked at his youngest seriously. "... And I would be happy if we get no letter from Mr. Conner this week."

„Yes, Sir!"

Ben dismounted his horse and watched Little Joe going by. If he had thought that he had had a hard time with Adam, as he slowly grew into a young man, he now was taught otherwise. With momentum he opened the door of the Sheriff's office. "Good morning, Tom."

Adam's friend stood at the desk and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Good morning, Mr. Cartwright."

Once again, Tom was surprised how quickly some rumours got around. Adam's father was the last person he had expected so early in the morning.

"I'm looking for Adam, Tom. I actually thought he was going to visit you yesterday, but so far he hasn't come back home."

Slowly Tom brought the pot back to the oven and avoided looking at Ben. "He's still sleeping."

Ben crossed his arms and laughed. "Gosh, Tom, what were you two up to yesterday? Were you having a last big party before you get married on Saturday, but ... wouldn't then you rather sleep and not my dear son?"

Tom blew a deep breath and took the keys from the table. "Please follow me, Mr. Cartwright."

Ben hesitated, but then followed the deputy into the jail area. He had to look twice when Tom unlocked the door. Even then he couldn't hide his consternation.

"Adam…?"

Carefully, he went into the cell and knelt beside the bunk where Adam was lying. As if his son was fragile, he touched his head and stroked his hair. Then he looked at Tom. His voice was but a whisper. "Who did that, Tom? Who beat him up?"

Tom stood at the cell door and looked at the keys in his hand. "There was a brawl at the saloon ..."

Before he could continue, Ben stood before him and looked at him seriously, pointing with his hand on Adam. "Then why is Adam here, and not the one who did this? And why isn't my son at the doctor?"

"Mr. Cartwright, ... Adam started the brawl, and ... the doctor was already here in the night and once again about an hour ago."

Ben put his hands on his sides. "Tom, that's a joke. We both know very well that Adam wouldn't ever start a brawl. That's more like Mitch and Buck."

Tom shook his head. "No, Sir. It was Adam who started it, and as some have described, Adam wanted to be beaten up ... he was barely fighting back."

"Tom ... that's ..." Completely stunned Ben looked from Tom to Adam. "I can't believe it, but whatever happened, he will tell me. Where's his horse?"

"I've taken it to the livery stable yesterday."

"All right, then I'll get it now and then ride home with Adam."

Tom scratched his head embarrassed. "That won't work, Mr. Cartwright."

Ben's mood got worse and worse. "And why not?"

"First, because the doctor has given him a sedative an hour ago, so he can sleep, and secondly, he has to pay the damage and the bail. After that he can leave."

Ben took a step closer to Tom. "How much is it?"

Tom took a deep breath and went back to the office, took the report and handed it to Ben, who had followed him. Ben's eyebrows raised. "Has the beer at the saloon recently started being served in glasses made of gold?"

Tom didn't answer him. Ben reached into his pocket and threw the money on the table. "I guess, that the matter is over and done now and I can take him with me?"

„No, Sir."

Ben's mouth clenched and his eyes went very small. "Mr. Cartwright, the doctor told us to let him sleep. He has taken quite some blows on the head and didn't get a rest for about half the night."

"But I cannot just let him lie here."

"Mr. Cartwright, Adam is my best friend, and you can believe me, I'll stay right here until he's able to leave my office alone and on his own two feet."

Ben clenched his fist and went back into the cell. He sat down on the bunk and touched Adam's shoulder. "Why didn't you just talk to me yesterday? Maybe I could have helped you."

He stroked his son's hair again and stood up. Before he left the office, he pointed again to the cell area. "Tom, the penalty is paid. I expect that you leave the cell door open now. My son doesn't need to be locked up like a criminal any longer."

"I'll leave it open, Mr. Cartwright."

With a bang Ben closed the door behind him.

He stood in front of the office and took several deep breaths. Why had he just stopped Hoss yesterday? For several weeks it was clear to see that something was wrong with Adam. Ben felt his hand starting to ache, because he had clenched it into a fist. How could he help Adam? He had tried to understand him. Suddenly he knew what he had to do now. Ben mounted his horse and left town.

XXXX

Slowly Adam opened his eyes and instantly knew where he was. He had expected nothing else. He had achieved what he wanted to achieve. His anger was gone, the pain was controllable and he couldn't hear her voice any longer. Adam took a breath. Instead, his whole body hurt and his head was pounding like a hundred Indian drums. Cautiously, he tried to sit up straight. His feet had barely touched the ground when the entire cell area started turning. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Was it worth it?"

Adam opened his eyes slightly. In front of him stood Tom, holding out a cup of coffee. "Thanks."

Tom sat on the opposite bunk and waited till Adam had drunk the coffee. "Do you want to tell me what was going on yesterday?"

With a rather weak voice Adam replied. "I was a little grumpy."

Tom leaned forward. "A little, buddy?"

His friend tried a slight grin. "Maybe it was a little more."

Tom slapped his thigh. "Damn it, Adam. Do you think I enjoy locking up my best friend in the cell?"

Adam ran his hand over his face and regretted this but instantly. His expression was pained. "I'm sorry, Tom."

"But you won't tell me what had happened?"

Adam shook his head. "Tom, I ... I first must handle that on my own."

Tom stood up. "All right, Adam. Your father was here and paid the bail and the damage. You can go as soon as you feel able to. I've brought your horse. It's tied outside."

Tom remained at the cell door. "Buddy, be prepared that Sybil will tell you off on Saturday. She will be simply amazed by the way you look."

Adam grinned at his friend. "Well, maybe then she'll prefer to marry me. Out of pity."

"Buddy ... I'll lock you up here again at once."

It took almost two hours until Adam was able to leave the office to ride home. And it took a long time until he was near the Ponderosa because he couldn't ride but at walking pace, as his head threatened to explode. Sure he could expect an awful bawling out at home, his headache enhanced at once. Then he had the idea of what he could do to feel a bit clearer in his head. He drew Sport down to the creek. There he took off all his clothes and jumped into the cold water. At first he only laid on his back and floated. The cold water made sure his body was fully awake. Then he swam a little and lay down in the meadow afterwards. Although his head still boomed, he felt a bit more rested. He remained lying a few minutes until the sun had dried him. Then he got up and dressed again. Since his shirt was really merely a scrap of fabric, he crumpled it and put it in the saddlebag. His father would definitely give him a telling-off and thus it didn't bother him to ride home shirtless.

XXX

Adam stood in his room in front of the mirror and got ready for Tom's wedding.

"May I come in?"

He smiled when he saw Koko. "Of course."

She entered the room and closed the door behind her.

"You're looking great."

She smiled a bit. "Thanks, that can't be said of you."

Adam looked in the mirror. "But little by little it's getting better."

Koko laughed. "But only very little."

She became serious again. "Did the days on the mountain help you?"

He leaned against his bed. "It wasn't easy, because I wasn't fit enough actually, but I wanted to come to rest before the wedding."

She came to him, took his hand and looked at him with concern. "Wynono ..."

In this moment, Adam realized that she really was concerned about him. She only spoke to him this way when she wanted him to listen to her seriously.

"... What's wrong with you since Sophie's birth? Everyone's worried about you."

"Everyone?"

"You can't imagine that, can you? Not only I am concerned, but also Emillia, Hoss and your father."

She saw his astonishment when she mentioned his father. "Adam, why do you think that you could ride so easily to your mountain on Wednesday without your father saying anything?"

"Well, because he's pretty upset with me. He has virtually not spoken a word with me since I came home on Tuesday afternoon."

"No, Wynono ... he wanted you to go to the mountain."

"Are we talking about my father?"

"He came to the farm on Tuesday and wanted to know from Hoss and me, why you ride to the mountain every now and then and why you stay there for a few days. He wanted to understand what you're doing there, and why you do it. He was quite devastated when he came to us. He told us how you were lying in the cell, and he couldn't help you."

"And I thought Emillia told him that she wants no quarrel in the house."

"Please tell me if I'm wrong, ... but could it be that the wall in you got stronger again with Sophia's birth?"

He looked at her, then went to the window and turned his back on her. "Koko, ... I've been living for so long with this wall inside of me. I can't prevent it from growing again."

"Why is it there, Wynono? What caused it? It didn't arise with the day you were born?"

She looked at his back, as he took a deep breath, then he slowly turned around and leaned against the window. "Koko, without looking around now. When you entered my room, just what did you see lying on my nightstand?"

With big, blank eyes she looked at him. "No idea. I haven't paid attention to that. I've only seen you."

"Since I can remember, I've perceived my surrounding differently than most other kids. When I entered a room, I could list you almost everything that was in there. It was the same when we were travelling by wagon. I've seen so much, I didn't understand. I could sit on the ground and play and still noticed the conversations of adults, without me consciously listening." He paused. "I've tried to find explanations when I couldn't understand something, and if I didn't make it, I tried to talk to my father about it. But often he only stroked my head and said I was too young to think about it. But I couldn't get these many images out of my head. They were always there, and especially at night, I didn't come to rest and had difficulty falling asleep, or I woke up again and wanted to talk about it."

Adam had to smile as he thought of those times. "Of course, you can imagine, what my father said when I woke him at night in order to know why the moon and the stars didn't fall on my head."

She smiled as she tried to imagine. "But there were many nights when I was only afraid of the things that surrounded me. ... I was four years old when the first stone of the wall deliberately became my friend."

He closed his eyes and the images returned ...

... "Adam, ..."

His father crouched in front of him. "... here you have a few marbles. You can play with them."

Ben turned to the side and pointed to a shop across the street. "I will be there in the store to work in the warehouse. You'll sit here and wait until I get back! Understood?"

"Yes,Sir."

"Fine, son."

Ben stood up and ran his hand through his hair. Adam watched his father disappearing in the store. Then he looked at the marbles in his hand. Actually, he would have preferred to wait in the wagon for his father, because here in the street, it was so loud and the shouting that came out of the saloon, scared him.

He looked down the street and watched as a cat jumped on a barrel and curled up to sleep. Adam wondered if he could get a cat from his father, when they found their home. Maybe he could even take this cat. Then he wouldn't always be so alone when his father had to work. He stood up, put the marbles in his pocket and went to the cat. He had only a few steps up to the barrel when he was pushed aside by two men. They laughed loudly as he sat on the ground and looked up to them. One of the men bent down to him. "Where are you going, you little bastard?"

Adam pointed to the cat. "I want to go to the cat and take it with me. It shall be my friend."

The man stood up and touched his heart. "Ricky, did you hear that? The little bastard is looking for a friend."

He looked back at Adam. "Do you know what I think of cats and little kids?"

"No."

Adam's eyes widened when the man pulled out his gun and shot the cat. His gaze was still directed to the animal when he felt the gun at his forehead. "I think, all babies as well as cats should be put into a sack and then ..." He made a movement as if to throw something away. "... into the next river."

His friend and he laughed so loud that Adam had to cover his ears. Then he felt again the gun on his forehead. "Now you can choose, you little bastard, if you prefer a bullet in your head or to go swimming in a sack."

Adam didn't dare to lift his head. Ricky slapped his friend at the arm "Come on, let's go. We've frightened the kid long enough."

"BANG!"

Adam winced when the man with the gun shouted at the very moment when he took the gun from his forehead. Laughing, the two men walked on. He watched after the two for some time, then Adam got up slowly. With small steps Adam went to the barrel, where the dead cat lied. Adam had tears running down as he realized that he was to blame for its death. If he hadn't wanted to take a closer look, it would still be sleeping on the barrel. He turned and ran to the store to his father.

"Pa...!"

Ben turned and looked at his son dismayed. "Adam, what happened?"

"Pa ... the cat is dead."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "What cat?"

"My cat."

"But Adam, you've got no cat."

"Yes."

"Adam, I've got no time for your fantasy games."

"But Pa, ... he simply shot it."

Another worker in the warehouse came to Ben's side. "Is that your son, Ben?"

Ben nodded. The man beside him laughed. "Oh, Ben, you've got a lot to do to make him a man. If he cries like a girl because his imaginary friend was shot, he won't get old in California. "

Adam stamped his foot. "I haven't only imagined that."

"ADAM…..!"

Immediately Adam looked to the ground. His father crouched down in front of him. "Adam, I've told you so often, that you cannot cry for every little thing. A big boy doesn't and certainly not because of something that you've just thought up. I'm comforting you if you're hurt, but now it's time that you learn that you might have to swallow this pain sometimes. Do you understand me?"

Adam didn't look up. He just nodded. Ben stood up and turned Adam toward him. "Now go back out and play with your marbles."

In the evening Adam lay awake quite a while, thinking about the day. When his father tucked him in, he asked him if it was possible to swim, if you were stuck in a sack. Ben laughed. "Adam, so what are you thinking up now?"

"I didn't think this up."

Ben shook his head. "Now sleep at last, son. I'll be going once again to the warehouse. We want the work to get done today, so that we both can leave tomorrow."

Disappointed Adam exhaled deeply. "Good night, Pa."

Ben gave his son a kiss on the forehead and turned out the light. The dead cat in mind Adam fell asleep.

Not but an hour later he woke up screaming. His heart was beating in his mouth.

"Pa?"

There was no answer. He winced when it thundered outside. The rain pattered on the tarp of the wagon, and the images of his dream returned. The men had put him in a sack and laughed. One of them shouted through the bag that there was no river nearby, and so they'd shoot him. And then he heard the bang.

"Pa?"

Again, tears were running down his face. He couldn't stay in the wagon any longer. As fast as he could, he ran to the store where his father worked.

"Pa ...?"

He threw himself into his father's arms. The other man put his hand on Ben's shoulder. "Are you sure that you have a boy and not a girl?"

Ben looked at the man frowning and then watched his son with the same facial expression. "Adam, what's the matter now?"

"The thunder ... it ... "

Adam tried to catch his breath. Again the other man laughed. "Afraid of a thunderstorm? … How cute …"

Ben took his son's hand and returned with him to the wagon. "Adam, I've explained to you so many times what happens during a thunderstorm, and you told me, you understood."

Then he looked at him caring. "Adam, if we are to realize our dream of a ranch of our own, I need to rely on you when I'm working. I can't always hold your hand for half the night. You understand that?"

"Yes, Sir."

"We will soon join a trek. If you're always crying and all the others notice that you're afraid of a thunderstorm, the other children will laugh at you. You won't like that, will you?"

"No, Sir."

"Well, then close your eyes and sleep. I'll soon be with you."

XX

For four months they were now on their way with the other settlers and Adam was happy. Inger tried to answer all his questions and to take away his fears. She didn't laugh at him if he thought about whether the animals that lived under the earth, would get headaches by the shock when they drove the wagon over the ground. She took him in her arms when the other kids were annoyed of him because he'd rather look at a book with her than to play with them. During this time he could sleep much better, as he wasn't so concerned about things that he didn't understand. Because every night before going to sleep he and Inger talked about the day and so most of his questions were answered. And if he still woke up at night because he was afraid he had only to lift the tarp of the wagon. She would immediately awake and come to him to comfort him.

It was shortly after his sixth birthday. They had just finished dinner when his father put his hand on his shoulder. "Adam, you're now six years old. I think we can gradually stop your mother tucking you in every night and reading a bedtime story to you. She won't - once the baby is born - have so much time for you any more. That's why I think it's a good time that you learn to get yourself ready for the night on your own."

"But, Pa ...?"

Ben shook his head. "No buts, Adam."

"Ben ..." Inger stood behind Adam and put her arms around him. "... I will also have time for Adam when the baby's here. And I want to read with him before bed yet. Because your son can already read very well, and I like to listen to him."

Adam looked up at his mother, beaming.

"But, Inger ...?"

Inger turned Adam around. "Adam, I think we meet your father halfway. Starting today you're fixing your bed under the wagon and getting changed on your own and every evening. Then we both sit together and talk about the day and read or count the stars. Agreed?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Well, then you'll show him right away, that you can do all that already."

He nodded and ran off, and Inger looked at her husband. "Ben, sometimes I've got the feeling you forget that he's only six years old. Just because he speaks much better and is much more interested in other things than most children of his age, he's got the same fears and concerns as they have."

"In my eyes, you spoil him too much. He's too soft for this country. If he's afraid of everything he won't be able to work on the ranch with me. Do you think I don't notice, that you go to him at night because he's crying again?"

"Ben, do you listen to your son now and again? You apparently don't notice what he's thinking. Did you know that he has noticed exactly how Logan has beaten his wife almost to death, just because the food was too cold in his eyes?"

"That's nonsense, he has been told by someone. How should he have noticed that? Logan's wagon was still far behind, and when it happened, you stayed here in front and played with him. You said yourself that you're glad that he hadn't seen it."

"But he has seen and heard it. I was wondering after it why he was so quiet, but some evenings later he spoke to me about. He told me that he talked to you about it and now fears for me."

Ben thought. The whole thing was just two weeks ago. When had Adam addressed him about that? Then he remembered an occasion when they both had take care of the fire for the evening, and Adam ran off again to fetch more wood. Adam had looked at him and said that they would have to be careful that the fire stays on until the food was ready. Because a man needs a hot meal, otherwise he can't do his work. Ben had slapped him on the back, laughed and said that he just knows what happens when the food is cold. Did Inger probably mean this story? But he hadn't thought of Logan, but how Inger had told them off two times, because they had lost track of time while fishing. "Inger, you know, he talks so much each day. I can't always listen to him."

She shook her head. "Oh, Ben. But you should. He looks up to you and tries to imitate much of what you're doing. He's not too soft. But his mind works all the time. Adam told me once, he would just like to only look at a stone, but it wouldn't work. Immediately images would appear in his head, what could be done with the stone and hundreds of questions would arise. How old this stone is, where does it come from and how long it had been lying there. And a lot of pictures that are in his mind, he cannot explain, and then he gets scared."

"I listen to my son, if it's important. I think he just has a too vivid imagination. Nothing more. Well, now I have to go to Will to discuss the next days."

He left the camp site, and Inger watched him thoughtfully. Then she felt someone taking her hand.

"Mum?"

She looked down to Adam. "Doesn't Pa love me?"

Pretty shocked she crouched down and held his hands. "Of course he loves you, sweetheart. How did you get such an idea?"

"He keeps telling me I should be different, and he doesn't listen to me as you do. And now he's not only angry with me, but also with you. I don't want that."

She took him in her arms and hugged him tightly. "Adam, your Pa loves you very much. Please, believe me! He does try to listen to you, but he must also see to it that we reach our destination. He hasn't always time for you, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you." She looked deep into his eyes. "Do you believe me, Adam?"

He leaned against her. "I love you, Mum and I'm so glad you're with me."

Five weeks later she was dead.

Adam sat leaning against a tree and thought of her. He swallowed the pain, as his father had told him. He couldn't cry in front of him. He had to be strong for both of them now. Dusk was falling when he returned to the camp. He hadn't yet reached the wagon when his father grabbed his arm and yelled at him. "Adam, where have you been? I told you not to leave the camp alone!"

Adam tried to break away from the grip of his father, but he only increased the pressure of his grip. "I wasn't far away. Only there at the trees. I told you. I wanted to continue reading Mum's book."

Ben took the book. "You shouldn't deal with it at the moment. There are more important things to do. You cannot spend the whole day reading and playing. You have to take care of Hoss, and when we finally have arrived you have to help on the ranch. You understand?"

Adam stood still. "Yes, Sir."

"Well. And Adam, if I tell you, you mustn't leave the camp, you have to stick to it. I must rely on you."

"Yes, Sir."

"Now go to the wagon and take care of Hoss."

"Yes, Sir."

"Adam…." He held the book in the air. "… Instead of reading tonight, you'd better say a long evening prayer and say thanks that we've come this far, and that the Lord will hold his protecting hand over us for the rest of our way.""

Yes, Sir."

In the evening, Adam was in the wagon and wanted to say the prayer, but it was only two sentences long. He thought about the Bible and God, and about what his father had told him, but then he got angry. He had always done everything he had been told. He had never risen his hand against others, he had never lied and always said his prayer. Why then had God first taken his mother and now Mum? Why did God do that? Why should he talk to Him now, if He was so mean to him? Adam watched Hoss, who was sleeping soundly. He jumped off the wagon and looked for his father. He had to discuss it with him now.

Outside, he was surprised that nowhere a fire was burning. Was that the reason why he was allowed to sleep in the wagon tonight? Slowly he sneaked through the camp. It was also much more quieter than usual. Then he startled when he heard a loud laugh. Cautiously he moved in that direction. At a small fire stood his father with four other men. His father had one of the men grabbed by the collar. Quickly Adam hid behind the wagon and watched what his father did with the man. Although he didn't speak very loud, Adam could hear every word. "Steve, I had told you several times that tonight no fire will burn, and no one who hasn't watch may loaf around outside. Is it so hard to understand?"

"Cartwright, I can do what I want. You ain't the boss."

"You're dead drunk again. You'll go to your wagon now. In the next town you will leave our trek."

The man began to sing loudly. "Steve, stop this crap immediately."

"What, Cartwright? Don't you like my voice?"

The man sang even louder now. Adam bit his hand when he saw his father punching. The man named Steve staggered backward, fell with his head against the drawbar and remained lying on the ground. One of the other men bent down to check on him.

"He's dead, Ben."

By the light of the fire Adam could see his father's face and eyes. They were full of hate and anger.

"What are we going to do with him?"

Ben exhaled. His voice was deep and he spoke very slowly. "We will leave him here tomorrow, when we move on. We haven't got the time to bury him. Put out the fire and finish your tasks."

No sooner was the fire out, Adam ran - as quickly and as quietly as possible - back to the wagon. He lay down on his sleeping place, covering his eyes. Then, very slowly, he took down his hands. He knew the man his father had killed. In recent weeks there had been constantly disputes between the two. His father had accused Steve that he had just fun and alcohol in his head, and that he should finally start to see the serious side of life. In a dispute two days ago his father had grabbed the man by the collar and threatened him, if he didn't finally do what he was told to do, he would see what happens when he got him angry. The look of his father Adam would never forget, and he never wanted to see it again. So he vowed that from now on to do always everything his father would say to him. He would not complain and cry. From now on, he would just become like his Pa wanted. He would no longer be soft ...

... Koko just looked at him. For once she didn't know what to say. She knew that the way from Boston to Nevada hadn't been easy, but what she had just heard, left her speechless. "Did you really think that your father would beat you so that you're dead as well?"

"In the beginning, yes, but just before we reached Nevada, he told me why no fire was allowed that night. In the weeks before several treks were attacked by Indians, and the Scout had found fresh tracks near us. That's why my father was so angry with me that I had left the camp. Today of course I understand why he had punched the man, and much of what my father had done, I was able to understand later. It also doesn't bother me any longer that up here ... ", he tapped a finger against his head," ... is almost never silence. By your father I learned how to find my balance. He showed me how I can approach problems and obstacles, how I push useless thoughts aside and if it all gets too loud in me what I need to do to regain the silence. I owe you a lot. By your kind of living I found it much easier to live here, but to tear down the walls, it was already too late."

Before he went on, he looked again out the window. "I loved Inger, as if she was my real mother, but after a short time she was dead. The pain was so strong, but I mustn't show it. I should be strong like a man. Then came Marie. As you know, it took me quite a long time to let her in my heart, and then she died. And again this pain was in me, but I mustn't admit it again. I had to keep the ranch going. I had to be there for Hoss and Joe. I had to be a man."

He paused for a moment. "Koko, in recent weeks this pain was so strong in me that it always forced me to my knees. On the day when Sophie was born, I was barely able to control it. I don't want to feel this pain. Never again. Therefore I won't let any woman in my heart again this way. I don't need a mother anymore, and I won't need any woman for me."

With big eyes Koko looked at him. "You can't be serious, Wynono? If so, then you needn't to go to church for Tom's wedding today. Then you can look for Mitch right away to get shot. It would be faster."

He cocked his head. "Koko, I didn't say that I want to die."

"No you haven't. But you will, sooner or later, if you lock up yourself and don't learn to deal with your negative feelings."

"They are too strong, Koko. I can't and won't deal with them. I cannot stand them."

"Of course they are too strong, because they catch you with full force. But if you let them into your daily life, they will belong to you."

She took a step toward him. "Wynono, if you cautiously wash your face in winter with cold water it feels uncomfortable, but it doesn't force you to your knees. But if you pour a whole bucket over your head without a warning, it will knock you out. And it is exactly the same when you handle pain. You never allowed it until it got you with its full force." Then she took his hand. "But it's part of life, just like all your good feelings.

If you think about Inger today, what do you feel? What images appear before your eyes?"

He closed his eyes, thinking. "I like to think of her and I can see how we looked at books together or talked in the wagon."

"Yes, I've just seen. You smiled when you thought of her. There wasn't this pain any longer, but not because you suppress it, but because it's no longer there. What do you feel when you think about Marie?"

He smiled.

"I think you did understand."

"Yes, but I don't think this knowledge will help me. Because I don't want to lose the person who has a special place in here." He slapped his hand against his heart. "Because only the memory won't make me happy."

Koko nodded. "Well, then look for Mitch. That will be the best for you and all of us who love you."

He angrily released her hand. "Koko, what's it all about? Just because I want to protect myself, doesn't mean, that I don't want to live!"

Furious, he turned back to the window. "Wynono, why do you think the Bison was so great in your vision?"

"I don't know. Probably the smaller were just in another vision."

Now she was standing with arms crossed in front of him. "Wynono, I want to help you and won't let myself get pushed away by you, just because you don't want to admit the truth."

He clenched his teeth. "Oh yes, I see. You've realized on the mountain as well, it's just as it was in Boston when you've beaten up Frederic's friend. You didn't just want to get rid of your anger. You wanted as weell to punish yourself that you haven't got your emotions under control. The bison is so great because he's not part of the herd, but because he leads the flock. And if he doesn't find his flock, he will end up dying of a broken heart. If you're going to lock up even more, you'll never find love, and the anger in you will increase. The bad wolf will be sitting next to the good wolf and waiting. And when the time has come again, he will attack you more from time to time, until you're tired of fighting him."

He turned away from her. "Koko, stop it! Even if I say, I owe you a lot, I cannot believe since Monday that the vision showed me my way. I was simply done, because I hadn't taken any water and no food for days ..." He turned back to her. "..., where was my guardian spirit on Monday to help me? He wasn't there when I needed him here in this room or even weeks before."

"Your guardian spirit should accompany and encourage you, but he cannot tear down the wall for you. Only the Bison can do. The snake has only seen through the existing openings, and it tries to show you the way which lies ahead of you, because you cannot see it through the wall."

She looked at his chest. "You no longer wear the chain, and you've already made so many openings. Now you turn back in sight of the first bigger obstacle?"

"I won't call Emillia an obstacle ..."

He lowered his eyes and breathed deeply. "… pardon me. I know what you mean. But, Koko, if already these fears for Emillia cause this pain in me ...!" He looked at her again and she could clearly see the sadness and despair in his eyes. "... then how shall I deal with the pain, if I lose the woman I love, especially if I'm to blame for her death?"

She spoke very softly to him. "Why do you always equate love with death? Wynono, you're trying constantly to connect the feeling of love and your mind. That won't work."

She smiled at him. "Actually love should push the mind into the background. It won't be bothered in what heart it lives. It doesn't worry about whether you speak the same language, what social position you've got, if you're lacking an arm or how old you are. It spreads within you and it's a wonderful feeling when you admit it ... but you're just worrying about the end ... Look at your father. He had to experience the pain three times, but still found the courage to let love into his heart again, because he knows that pain will fade, but love remains forever."

Carefully, she reached for his hand. "Don't give up, Wynono. I know how great your longing for a family is. How much you like children. It's so nice to see how much patience you have with them. More than many Indians."

She went a little closer. "Is ... is that the reason why Bridget isn't here? Because you are afraid of losing her?"

It took a long time before he could answer her. "Koko, I love her so much and I don't know what I'll do, if I lose her. I've seen what it has done to my father, each time he has lost his love. He even let us down. In my mind, I always see these images as she lies dead ahead of me, and only because I've brought her to Nevada. Believe me, I've been trying to tell me myself that it doesn't have to happen that way, but my ... fear is too much."

"The letter you got on Monday was from her, wasn't it?"

He nodded. "How do you know?"

"Wynono, you're not the only one who's on my farm frequently."

"Hoss."

"Hoss worries very much about you. Weeks ago he already told me that he believes you should go up to your mountain. But he didn't dare to tell you, and on Tuesday he told me, in what state you've left the house after you've received the letter."

Deeply he exhaled before he could continue to speak. "Koko, a few sentences have been enough that I could no longer suppress all the feelings that were inside me since Sophie's birth."

"Do your hearts beat with the same rhythm?"

"I don't know."

"But she loves you?"

"Even that I don't know."

Questioning Koko looked at him. "We never talked about our feelings. She went to New York before I left. It was the first letter I've received from her since. But ... I assume that she has felt more than friendship for me. But how strong her feelings for me were, I don't know."

"You worry about her death, and yet you don't know what your heart tells when the first butterflies in your tummy have moved on?"

She tapped him on the forehead. "Stop to speak with your head about your heart. Let your heart talk with your head. "

She stepped back of him. "Where's the necklace?"

Adam went to his desk and opened the drawer. On Bridget's letter was the chain with the snake. "I think today is a good day to make a decision, Wynono. Do you want to turn back or to go around the obstacle?"

He took the necklace in his hand and looked at it. Without taking his eyes avert, he gave Koko an answer. "I'm afraid of the next obstacles, Koko. Afraid of what I'm doing when I don't know how to go on. At the saloon I've been waiting for Buck to pull his gun."

She put her hand on his back. "We will help you, if you let us. Listen to Hoss, when he says that you should go on your mountain, for he notes quite early, when you're not doing well. I'm here if you need someone to listen to you and to give you some hugs. Emillia will be there when your father doesn't understand you, and even he will help you in his own way."

Slowly he put on the chain and turned to her. "I think the first help I'd like to enlist right now."

He spread his arms. With a smile she lay her hands on his chest and let herself be embraced. Adam closed his eyes and felt her warmth on his skin. In time he had the impression that this warmth wrapped itself around his heart and soul, too. And not only Koko's, but also the serpent's warmth embraced him.

The door flung open. "Adam, you gotta help me with this damn bow t ...!"

Hoss stopped with the bow tie in his hand and watched Koko and Adam. Adam had opened his eyes again, and before he let go of Koko, he wispered to her a gentle thank you. With both hands Koko pushed a little away from him. "That's what soul friends are for."

Then Koko turned to Hoss. "Come on, Hoss, I'll help you, because I think your brother should hurry with getting dressed. Finally his friend waiting for him."

She grabbed Hoss's arm and pulled him out of the room. Motionless stood Adam there and watched the two.

"Joseph, I told you to go outside and get the second buggy ready!"

"What did you say, Pa?"

"Ben, could you two stop shouting? I want Sophie to sleep as long as possible."

Adam shook off his rigidness and smiled.

"Wynono?"

Adam looked down. Front of him stood Sarah. "I need help."

She held the two ends of the ribbons of her dress in her hand. Adam crouched down and tied the ribbons. "Winona, and I need your help as well."

She looked at him with big eyes. He put a hand to his chin and looked at her with mock despair. "Somewhere in this room I've got my socks and shoes. But I cannot find them. Can you find them for me?"

"Yes…"

He stood up as she ran to his shoes, laughing. He was about to grab his shirt, as his gaze fell on the open drawer. Adam took the letter in his hand. "Maybe I'll read it tomorrow, Bridget."

He carefully put it back in the drawer and pushed it shut.


	53. Chapter 53

Once again, Adam asked himself why most weddings had to take place in summer. Surely it was because of his very turbulent week. Therefore he had counted the minutes in church until the ceremony was over. Now he leaned against a fence of the paddock on the ranch of Tom's father, trying to fight his tiredness.

"The way you look, I thought you would like a cold drink."

With a smile, Adam took the glass from his father. "Thank you, Pa."

"Do you regret that you only returned this morning from your mountain?"

"If I had come back yesterday, you probably wouldn't have gotten me out of bed today."

Ben looked at his glass and hesitated. "Adam, are you feeling better now, and I don't mean the wounds that can be seen?"

His son took a deep breath. "I guess so."

"May I ask what was in the letter which has upset you so? Do you have problems with the supply of timber for your friend?"

"No. Everything is going according to plan, even better than we expected."

Ben couldn't hide his joy at the news. "Then your friend has already received a repeat order?"

"Yes he has. Even two. The railway company wants him to build a small station in Greenfield and then a larger in Beardstown. This is to be a shipping station, because the ship traffic is going to be expanded, too."

"Then he's already in Beardstown?"

Adam looked at him in surprise. "No. He and his family will leave early next month for Greenfield."

"Oh, I just thought, because the letter came from Beardstown."

Adam took a sip. His eyes were fixed on his father. Slowly he put the glass down. "It was from a friend of mine."

Ben's eyes became smaller, and he didn't look away from his son. "Should I get worried that you don't meet your obligations?"

It took Adam a moment to realize what his father meant, then he had to smile. "No Pa, you needn't. The last time that I saw her is almost three years ago."

Ben looked at him questioningly, because he couldn't quite explain what could have stirred Adam so. "Pa, I'm really done from the last few days, and besides Koko and I had a long and stressful talk this morning. I'm very tired, and I'd love to continue this matter another day."

"Then you won't talk to me about Koko today? Because I think, we should talk about it again."

Adam shook his head. "Well. Then I'm going to look for David. He wanted to talk to me about something."

Ben slapped his son on his back and went back to the others. Adam looked at his father, but then he heard a familiar voice. "No. Don't want."

Adam looked in the direction the voice of his sister came from. He laughed when he saw how desperate Little Joe tried to make Sarah get up. With a grin, he went to his siblings. "Well, little brother. Do you have a problem?"

Little Joe turned around and glared at him. "Adam, she annoys me. First she runs after me all the time and now she doesn't want to come along. But I just can't leave her sitting here."

„Wynono!"

Sarah held out her arms. Adam picked up his sister. "Well, little missy. Did you annoy poor Little Joe?"

Sarah pouted and looked frowning at Joe. "Joe nasty."

"I'm not at all. You're not listening to what I say."

„Nasty!"

Joe took a step forward. "I'll show you right now what nasty is."

Adam pushed him away with his hand. "Joe, I think I'll take care of Winona, and you can go to your friends."

Joe looked at his sister still annoyed. "Little bitchy."

„Joe!"

Joe turned around and looked for his friends. "And now, my sunshine, what do we do now?"

„Down."

Adam let his sister down and she immediately took his hand. "Wynono, come."

Sarah pulled Adam to the buggies, which stood near the barn. Sarah climbed into the buggy and took her snuffle out from behind the seat. Adam laughed. "How did you manage to smuggle it past Pa?"

Beaming Sarah nodded. Adam crouched down and looked at her gently. "Are you very tired?"

"No. Wynono. Wynono tired."

She pressed her snuffle into his hand. Lovingly he looked at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Thanks, my sunshine, but I think you're also a little tired."

She quickly shook her head. Adam stood up and took her by the hand. "Now I'll show you something."

Adam saw his little brother standing not far away with a few other boys. "Joe ..."

His brother turned to him. "If Pa or Emillia look for us, tell them that we are behind the barn."

Little Joe first watched him still slightly annoyed, but then his face turned into a grin. "Will do, Adam."

Adam immediately noticed that his brother was up to something that couldn't be good. "Joe?"

The grin turned back into a straight face. "I told you I will let them know."

Both brothers looked at each other briefly. Then Adam went with Sarah behind the barn. There he took off his jacket and put it on the ground. "You know, Winona, when we were kids, Koko and I would quite often lay on the lawn looking at the clouds, and if we were lucky, we would see a lot of animals. Would you like to try that with me?"

„Winona want wolf!"

Her head nestled into Adam's arm they both looked at the sky. "With luck, we will even see a wolf."

It didn't take long and Sarah had fallen asleep in his arm.

XXXX

"Hoss, what's wrong? Don't you feel like dancing?"

Hoss put his hands in his pockets and looked past Koko. "Well, yes, but ..." He fell silent.

"But what?"

"Well, we have danced twice already."

Koko waited in vain for Hoss to continue. "Yes, and what, Hoss? Are three times too much?"

Hoss looked at his feet. "Yes, …. I mean, …. no .. but ..." He exhaled deeply. "... You're here with Adam and I don't want any trouble with him."

Koko turned in circles, laughing. "But Hoss, I cannot see him at all."

Hoss lifted his head. "Koko, you know exactly what I mean."

She took his hand and looked at him. "Hoss, your brother already had to fight in church to not fall asleep. He apologized to me and I think he'll be somewhere here and fight with himself and his tiredness. Actually it was insane that we've let him go to his mountain all alone considering his head injury." She smiled. "Now that I've got no companion, I'd be pleased if you accompany me the rest of the day."

"I think that's no good."

Koko put her hands on her hips. "Hoss, what do you think your brother will do? Rip your head off just because you dance with me?"

"You know him. When it comes to his girl, he sometimes can be ... well ... quite peculiar."

Koko looked at him with big eyes. "I'm not Adam's property."

She pulled him onto the dance floor. "If I want to dance with you, then I dance with you, Hoss Cartwright. Understood?"

Hoss took another breath. "Yes ..."

Hoss still danced many times with Koko, but again and again he looked around if he could see his brother somewhere.

XXX

"Ben, I can only tell you, such a bull you haven't seen in ages. I'd buy it myself, but I simply can't afford it this year. But if you look at it and you buy it, then I'd suggest I buy a cub from you next year."

Ben thought. "The ranch is on the way of our cattle drive. So we could look at it ..." He scratched his head. "The only problem is that I don't join the cattle drive this year. Adam will be the boss."

David shrugged. "Where's the problem? You've got an intelligent boy. He will surely recognize a good breeding bull when he sees one."

"There isn't really a problem, just that I'd rather have viewed it myself, ... but alright. I suggest we talk with Adam immediately, because I think he won't have the time to ride to you before the trail."

They put down their glasses, and Ben looked around to see if he could discover his son somewhere. After a while David looked at him with a smile. "Your son hasn't gone home because Hoss's dancing with his girlfriend all the time?"

Ben mumbled something to himself. At this moment, Joe ran past him. "Joseph, you know where your brother is?"

Little Joe grinned. "Well, over there."

He pointed to Hoss, who was standing at Koko. Slightly annoyed his father looked at him. "I mean Adam."

"Oh, Adam, ... wait a minute ..."

Little Joe scratched his forehead and pretended to think hard, then he snapped his fingers. "But of course, I've seen him. About an hour ago he disappeared with a girl behind the barn, and ... I think so far they aren't back yet."

Ben's eyebrows soared up. Little Joe slapped his father against the arm, grinning. "Pa, and she was pretty, ... although I think she's a bit too young, but, you know Adam ...!"

His father held his breath, and David looked at the stones on the ground. "Do you still need me, Pa? Otherwise Greg and I would like to go eat."

Teeth clenched Ben answered his son. "You can leave."

His gaze went to the barn, and he ran off. "Ben, ..."

He turned to David. "I think I'll wait here. You know where to find me then. "

Ben just nodded and continued his way to the barn. All the time he thought about what to tell his son. For some time the behavior of his eldest was an eyesore to him. First, he told him that he and Koko didn't intend to get married, and then they met again almost every weekend, or he went out with other girls from out of town. And that Amarok and Aponi no longer lived on the farm, didn't make things better. Since the incident on Monday he had tried to have sympathy for Adam, but now he could no longer restrain himself even with the best of intentions. Especially since David had already made fun of the fact that Hoss was taking care of Koko half the day. With appropriate anger he turned around the corner of the barn and stopped. With a smile he looked on the picture offered to him. Quietly Ben muttered to himself. "Little Joe, if I get hold of you ..."

Sarah was snuggled close to Adam and both were sleeping. Although it didn't alter the fact that he couldn't make head nor tail of the relationship between Koko and Adam, every time he saw Sarah with Adam this way, he found it heartwarming and all his anger was gone.

XXX

"Pa, you've got time? I'd like to discuss something with you."

Ben lowered his newspaper and looked at Adam, who was standing behind the settee. "Of course. Are there problems with the preparations for the trail? That would be bad, as you want to leave the day after tomorrow."

"No, everything's going well, but I thought that if you stay here, I could give you a task." Adam grinned at his father. "In order that you won't get bored here."

"Son, I can still pack my things and join you."

Adam went to the desk, took out some papers and handed his father a drawing. "We had talked about enlarging the dining room. I've prepared an outline for you how it might look."

Ben put the newspaper on the table and looked at the drawing. "I went through a number of options. At the end actually only two ideas are left. Either we extend the room as in the drawing, or we go to the width. But then we would have to take a part of the garden and that would be a pity. Emillia has laid it out so beautifully."

"Absolutely no way. No, ... I think this idea is very good. When do you want the construction to be started?"

"After the trail."

He handed his father a document. "That's why it would be good if you could already cut the timber. I have noted here, how much I'll need ..." Ben looked at the paper and with each line the wrinkles on his forehead got larger. "... and Mr. Greenberg will come by next week to discuss with Emillia what the new table should look like."

"Adam, ..." Ben looked back from the piece of paper to Adam and again. "... I ..., so ... could it be that you've calculated pretty generously?"

Adam sat down on the arm of the settee. "Only within the normal range. We talked about that I even should build my own office."

Ben looked back at the document and roughly estimated the numbers. Meanwhile Emillia came downstairs and sat down with the men. "Well Adam, I don't know how great your office shall be, but if you're sure that the numbers here are all correct, I'm seriously worried to let you have more and more of the business of the Ponderosa."

Adam scratched his ear and looked down. "I'm building my office down at the small spring. Where the old barn was."

Ben put the documents on his lap. "How come? We have plenty of room here. You can have the lower guest room for your office, for example."

Adam stroked his face and breathed deeply. "The room is too small, and I don't have enough daylight there."

"Too small? Adam, what do you want to build? A palace? ... Although when I look at your calculations, I can assume that."

"I need the big office because I need room for my drawings."

"What drawings?"

"For a railway station."

Ben threw the documents on the table. "Adam, stop beating 'bout the bush!"

"Alright. I'm Frederic's partner now. Since last week we both lead the company together ..." He paused for a moment. "... and we got the order of the railway company, to already submit several designs for stations in California."

All colour drained from Ben's face. In disbelief he looked at Adam. "You want to leave the Ponderosa?"

"I didn't say that, Pa. I'll take care of the designs and Frederic of the construction sites. Sure I'll need to travel shortly to California one time or another when we finally get the nod, but I don't intend to leave the ranch and work only for my company."

Adam got up and got another drawing from the desk and handed it to Ben. For quite a long time Ben looked at the draft. His voice was very quiet. "What's this nonsense about, Adam?"

"Why was it so clear to me that you wouldn't understand ..." Adam rubbed his eyes. "... Pa, when I already build myself such a big office, I can add it right into a house."

"You have your room here."

"I didn't say that I would move out completely and right away, but when I'm working for the company, I need quiet, and ... sometimes I'd love to sit alone by the fireplace and read a book at night. I don't want to retire to my room every time I need some time for myself."

"I think that's completely unnecessary."

Without looking up from her sewing Emillia intervened. "But Ben, I think that's a very good idea."

"Why doesn't that surprise me, Emillia?"

Adam looked over at Emillia. "Emillia, thank you, but I don't want you to argue with Pa only because of me."

"We won't, Adam. I'm just saying my opinion, and if your father thinks we have to argue because of that ... fine."

Angrily Ben stood up. "I don't argue, I'm just saying, it's completely unnecessary, unless you tell me you don't move alone into this house."

Adam crossed his arms and ran one hand over his eyes. "Pa, ... if I intend to get married someday, then I will tell you in due time ... for now I just need a large office and a place for me. And if you don't want me to build the house there, I'm going to build it elsewhere."

"Therefore, I'd let Adam build the house here ... because your son certainly won't differ from other men ... " Amazed Ben looked at his wife. "... Well, as long as only a few yards from the house there's still a hot meal and someone who takes care of the laundry, he'll still be here quite often. But if he lives near town ...!"

She said no more, and only looked at Adam, who grinned. Ben looked between the two of them. "I'm always surprised at how well you get along with each other. My dear son wrote no letter to me for over a year because he was angry with me."

Ben went along the fireplace. "And you believe that you can fit in both? The work here at the ranch and work for the company?"

"Won't be a problem, and so far we haven't won the bid yet."

"When are you going to start with the construction?"

"When I get back, Hoss and I will take care of the dining room. That shouldn't take too long, and then I want to start with the house instantly. I want to be ready at the end of fall at the latest."

"Oh, my other dear son knows about your plans already?"

Adam looked at his father mischievously. Ben sat back in his chair and took his newspaper. "I hope that I still call the shots here next year."

Emillia and Adam looked at each other just grinning.

XXX

Hoss wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and put the hammer aside. "That was the last post, Adam. I can't believe that we've fixed the fence so quickly."

He looked up at the sky. "What do you think, big brother. Shall we continue to build to your house?"

Adam packed the stuff and then mounted his horse. „I think we both deserve a day off. You've already helped me so much in the last few weeks."

Adam leaned on the saddle horn and smiled at his brother. "Well Hoss, I know from very reliable sources that there are fresh cakes at Koko's. What do you think, if we pay a little visit to the farm?"

Hoss climbed into the carriage. "I like that very much indeed, then I can still look after Ramero."

"Ramero? Is that the stallion you bought for a lot of money for breeding?"

Hoss was slightly blushing. "Yes, I know. You told me that he's been too expensive, but he's a good horse. You always say, you have to take a chance."

"Yes, but not to be crazy. I don't understand that you and Koko have bought this horse. And why do you have to look after him? Now don't tell me that he's sick."

"No ... he ... he stepped into a small hole, and since he's lame."

Adam took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "Then let's see after your miracle horse."

Both arrived in almost no time at Koko's farm. She stood at the fence of the paddock, and when she saw the two, she went to meet them. "What brings my two favorite men out here?"

Adam dismounted and gave Koko a kiss on the cheek. "Of course only the longing for the prettiest woman within fifty miles."

"You're impossible, Adam."

Hoss jumped off the carriage. "Hello, Koko. I just wanted to see after Ramero and ... of course after your cake."

Koko linked arms with Hoss. "You see, Adam. Your brother is at least honest. That's why he'll get the biggest piece."

Then her face became serious again. "Look for yourself. It hasn't got any better."

All the three climbed over the fence and went to the horse. Adam stroked Ramero on the chest and then ran his hand over the leg. When he touched the injured point, the horse jerked and became uneasy. "When was the accident, and what have you done so far with him?"

Koko patted the stallion and tried to calm him. "I noticed it last Sunday, and since then we've made the usual. Trying to keep him quiet and rubbing the point with various herbs."

"Well, I'd say, you've got no other choice."

He looked at Hoss and Koko. "Shall I do it for you?"

Koko looked at him in horror. "You want to shoot him?"

"Of course. What other choice have you got? I'd say, you have a lot of money down the drain."

She looked at Adam angrily. "Yes, of course, this is typical for you. To accuse me at the first opportunity that we've paid too much in your eyes. But unlike you, I see, when a horse is worth to pay a little more."

Adam crossed his arms and his voice got a little louder. "Perhaps he has been, but now you won't get only one deceent cent for him, and it's news to me that you let a horse suffer needlessly."

Hoss stood next to them and didn't know what to say. With big eyes he watched the dispute between the two. "Ramero's still worth the money, and we won't give up easily. We'll keep on trying until he's fit again."

Adam dropped his arms and looked at her with a smug look. "Koko, you've already invested too much in this horse. With each passing day you lose more money. Economically your miracle horse has had its day."

Koko stepped forward and tapped Adam against his chest. "And that's the difference between us, Mr. Cartwright. I see primarily the horse, and you only, if it still makes money. I tell you, we will keep on trying."

"Come on Koko, don't get sentimental. This way you cannot run the farm."

Adam wanted to grab the horse to lead it out of the paddock. "You let go of Ramero and best leave my farm at once."

Slowly Adam let the horse go. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"For sure."

"Alright."

He slapped Hoss on the arm. "Come on, let's go."

"No, Hoss stays here."

Adam stopped and looked back and forth between his brother and her. Hoss had lowered his head at once at Koko's words. "I shall leave the farm, and Hoss is allowed to stay here?"

"So it looks."

His eyes went very small and he took a step toward her. "But don't come running later and ask me what to do."

Koko stood with arms crossed next to Hoss and looked at Adam furiously. "Certainly not."

Adam went to his horse and left the farm with a last glance at Koko and Hoss.


	54. Chapter 54

Adam got off his horse and walked slowly to the barn. The long ride had done him good. He wasn't so outraged as when he left the farm. Why did he always have to argue with Koko regarding the matters of the farm? He knew that she wasn't out to make profit, but only to earn what she needed to live. The focus for her was only the joy she had when working with the horses. But it happened again and again that he wanted to interfere in her business. He wanted to go to her to apologize first thing in the morning.

Adam opened the barn door and paused briefly. Hoss stood in the barn just bringing his horse into the stall. Adam had actually thought that his brother had ridden home earlier. But as it looked like he had stayed quite a long time with Koko. Adam led Sport into the stall, and didn't take off the saddle, but went over to Hoss.

"Did Koko calm down?"

Hoss looked at him briefly and went to the other side of the horse to groom it. "Yes, she did …."He leaned slightly to one side so that Adam didn't see him behind the horse. "... as always."

"Hoss, I don't mean to argue with Koko all the time."

Hoss came up again and looked at him angrily. "Then leave it be. I cannot understand anyway that she forgives you again and again. All the time you want to tell her how she should run the farm."

"Hoss, you needn't have a go at me now. I've had a dispute with Koko, not with you."

His brother came out of the stall and stood in front of him. "But if you interfere in the work of the farm, it concerns me as well. Finally, I work there, too. And secondly, I've already told you that I won't watch you hurting Koko."

"Oh, come on, Hoss, now stop that finally. Yes, I told you before I went to Boston that you should take care of her, but I'm back again and Koko's old enough. She doesn't need you any longer."

Hoss came a step closer. The look in his eyes was still unchanged. "And you stop with your arrogant attitude. You needn't show that neither for Koko or me. You can do so when it comes to your company or to the Ponderosa, but not in regard to the farm or Koko."

Adam stepped back a few steps. "Haven't you gotten any cake? What's wrong with you? Slowly I'm getting the feeling that Koko's more than a friend for you."

His brother blushed and looked down. Adam looked at him with big eyes and crossed his arms. "Hoss, ... you're not really in love with Koko?"

Hoss' head snapped up. "Oh, and why? Are you the only one who's allowed to be in love with Koko?"

With his hands akimbo, Adam laughed slightly. "That's just a dream. Finally grow up. If you were to go out on Saturday night into town, you could meet girls of your age."

"Unlike you, I know exactly how I feel about Koko. I wouldn't handle her feelings the way you do, but unfortunately I can't tell her she should send you to hell."

Adam crossed his arms and smiled arrogantly. "It's absolutely unrealistic that Koko feels more than just a spark of friendship for you. When she marries, she wants to have a man at her side and no boy."

He should have known that it would happen. Adam had already seen the twitching in Hoss' eyes while he spoke. But he had hardly finished the sentence, as he found himself already lying on floor of the barn.

"I told you, you should stop talking to me so arrogantly. I don't know what's your problem, why you and Koko haven't got married yet, but I'm glad it didn't happen so far. So she will hopefully think about it and not take such a nasty guy like you are. She deserves better."

Hoss walked past him and left the barn. Adam put his head on the ground, closed his eyes and wondered why everything went wrong once again. Why did he just have to provoke Hoss this way? Otherwise he had always listened to his problems and concerns. He could have explained calmly that he had gone a bit too far with his feelings for Koko. She was four years older than he, he couldn't really believe, that she saw something else in him than HIS little brother. He heard the barn door being reopened.

„Adam?"

A moment later, Little Joe was kneeling by his side. "What happened? Did you fall?"

Slowly Adam stood up and wiped the straw from his clothes. "No, Joe. Everything's fine."

He went to Sport's stall, took the reins and led him out. "Joe, please tell the others that I'll spend the evening with Tom."

Joe held him by the arm and looked at him with concern. "Adam, are you really alright? You just look as if you've taken a punch in your eye."

Adam slapped his brother on the arm and laughed. "I ran against a pretty hard wall, but there's nothing to worry about. I'm fine."

Joe let go of his brother and looked after him as he left the barn and rode off.

XXX

"Adam, what brings you here?"

Adam stood at the door of Tom's house. "I was looking for you at the office for having a beer with you, but the Sheriff told me today you have your evening off."

Tom grinned. "Yes, even I may sit comfortably at home from time to time."

Adam put up his hat to leave again. "Then I won't bother you on your evening off."

Tom pulled Adam by the arm into the house. "Come on, buddy. You're not disturbing. Tell me, ...," he paused a little, "... have you been in a fight?"

He pointed at Adam's eye. Adam took off his hat and touched briefly the painful area. "No. I just bent off the wrong way."

Tom frowned. "That's again some Indian saying, isn't it?"

Laughing Adam nodded. "Something like that."

"But you didn't turn the saloon in a mess again, because you were a little grumpy?"

"Not the saloon." Shocked Tom looked at him. "That was a joke, Tom."

His friend sighed with relief. "Then come on in now."

Together they went into the living room. "Sybil, ... Adam's here."

Tom's wife came from the kitchen and welcomed him with a warm hug. "Nice that you visit us again. Since you're working on your house, we hardly see you."

"It's not for long. I think I'm through in about three weeks."

"I'm glad, and Tom and I are really excited to see how it will look. Just as Tom told me you've built it pretty big."

Somewhat embarrassed Adam scratched himself behind the ear. "I ... I've planned the office quite big and then just adapted the house thereto. By the many windows it looks very large now. But I wanted to see the mountains when I'm working or be in another room."

Tom slapped him on the back. "Well, you can really afford it now. Now that you've got the company together with your friend. If you get more contracts and build the railway stations in California, you're set up for life, Buddy."

"So far, we haven't got any, Tom. And if we shouldn't get any further orders, then I have to go somewhere else to earn money in addition to the work at the Ponderosa. My last savings are in the house now."

"My father's certainly looking for a groom."

"You're a true friend, Tom."

"Adam, you're staying for supper or do you have other plans?"

"No, Sybil, but ... I don't want to bother you. I know that Tom hasn't got an evening off very often."

"Nonsense, Adam, you're always welcome here and especially today."

Sybil smiled at her husband and went back to the kitchen. "Should I ask what she means, Tom?"

Tom put his arm on Adam's shoulder. "You know, buddy, I really don't understand what you're waiting for. I'm so happy every morning when I wake up, and Sybil's lying next to me, and now I'm even becoming a dad."

With a broad grin Adam nodded. "I'm glad for you, Tom, and please don't tell me now that you're off work because of that. Because then I will in fact not stay for supper. That is your evening."

"No Buddy, you stay. That's just a perfect reason to spend the evening with my best friend and the woman I love."

XXX

Adam came home very late. They had been sitting a long time in the living room and talked about many things. Tom had still repeatedly thanked Adam that he had convinced him to go into the lumber business. The way it looked at the moment, he needn't worry to make ends meet for his family with his deputy salary.

He unsaddled Sport while reflecting about the day and wondered why he couldn't make his life more like Tom's. At his friend's home there was a wonderful sense of calm and harmony. The freaky Tom, who had had just nonsense in his head, you couldn't see a trace of any more. He himself had actually achieved everything he wanted. He was back home. Had friends. Got on well with Emillia, and the disputes with his father kept within limits. He had even complied the desire of a house of his own. It had become though bigger than he intended, but he had put his wish into practice. All this had been only possible so soon because the business with his and Tom's land ran even better than expected. Also, the entry into Frederic's company was doing its part.

Since he had no answer as to why he still felt this emptiness inside, he shrugged and put the saddle on saddle rack. A cold shudder slowly crept up his back and slowly he dropped the saddle. Then he leaned against a post, holding his hands to his face. Piece by piece he slid down until he was sitting on the ground. It hadn't taken even three years to prove Mr. Francois was right. He wasn't any better than Frederic's father. For him only the business side was still on top. He had forgotten to remain true. The words of Frederic's father sounded in his ears and the images from the station returned…..

"... How do you know if I don't open my own office in Virginia City?"

"You won't. You are like me. You want to achieve greater things."

"I? Like you? With all due respect. I don't think so."

"But that's you, Adam. I've also started very small and had to work hard for what I have achieved. Quite early I've been said to become a tough businessman later. Just as you, I was also difficult to see through and I did it my way. If I'm convinced of something, I pursue till the end. Wait a few more years, then it won't be sufficient for you to herd cattle." ...

"... Believe me, Adam, when I was as young as you, I still talked this way, but it will become different. You aren't the person who can work his whole life on the ranch of his father. You want to create something yourself. You won't want to live in his shadow forever. ...You managed it so that my two children don't live any longer with me in my house, and now for you different rules should apply? ...

" ... I don't know where I'm going, but for me, the people that surround me and who are important to me, always come first. Happiness and satisfaction I won't find in a big house or in a world in which you live but in my heart."…..

... Adam had to laugh scornfully. How important the people around were to him, he had only realized today. He had forgotten what was essential for Koko. He only saw how she could get the most out of the farm. And Hoss, ... how could he just be so callous to his brother? That he had fallen for Koko, was only too understandable. Both of them were so much alike. Both loved the work with the horses and were so close to nature, as he would never be. He had indeed vowed to protect nature, but Hoss lived with nature. For Hoss it wasn't important, what profit they could make with breeding. How could he become so blind himself?

And Mr. Francois was right. It hadn't taken too long, then it was important for him to create something of his own. Only a small station hadn't been sufficient for him. It had to be four large stations in California. He was about to become just like Mr. Francois. He still fought tooth and nail against his feelings for Bridget and had hoped to find happiness in everything else. But that wouldn't work. If he wanted to attain what Tom had achieved, and Hoss wanted to get, he finally had to have the courage to take a different path. What advice had Amarok given him before his departure?

'Watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Watch your words, for they are your actions. Watch your actions, for they become your habit. Watch your habits, for they become your character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.'

But he didn't want to become like Mr. Francois. So he got up, completed the works in the barn and went into the house. As it was already after midnight, everyone was already in their rooms. Quietly Adam closed the door behind him, took Bridget's letter out of the drawer and started reading.

 _Dear Adam,_

 _as you can realize when reading the sender, I'm in Beardstown by now. I had applied for the job here even before I graduated. You can of course imagine how happy I was when I got the confirmation. Only my father has been speechless once again. He cannot understand that first Frederic and then I always move further to the West. He's still afraid that I'll come back with a "savage" from the land of "savages". Although my father has become a little calmer and doesn't work so much in the company any more, he cannot accept that Frederic and I want to go our own way._

 _Adam, you were so right. Life here is so completely different from the life in Boston. I'm just glad that I've learned from Giovanna and her family, how to cope by simple means. So it isn't difficult for me to deal with my everyday's life. The work with children gives me a lot of pleasure, and every day I go to school with joy._

 _Yesterday I received a letter from Giovanna that she - if things go well - will also come to Beardstown for some time. I keep my fingers crossed that it'll work. So I can finally see her and my brother again and of course Riccardo._

 _Adam, I would be pleased if you answer my letter. I would like to know whether your decision to leave Boston after graduating has been the right thing. I often think of our time together and so it would be nice to read a few lines from you._

 _Give my regards to your family and of course Koko._

 _Bridget_

Adam put the letter aside with a smile and then took pen and paper at hand. After a few sentences, however, he paused and thought about the lines of Bridget. After this he took his letter, crumpled it and threw it away. What did Koko say to him? He was concerned about Bridget's death, though he didn't know how his feelings for her were when the first butterflies had moved on. He didn't even know what feelings Bridget had towards him. How could he expect her to drop everything and just come to him after three years? What, if he realized that his feelings were not as strong for her? She had written, how well she felt there. No, he had to accept it finally. Bridget lived her life there and he his here. If he wanted to set up his own family here in Nevada, he finally had to give her up. She would indeed always remain the love of his life, but she now had to take a different place in his heart, so he could feel free for somebody else.

Adam stood up, undressed and put out the light.

XXXXXX

With a sigh, he looked at the paddock. He certainly stood here for an eternity just staring into nothingness. Why was it so difficult, and what had only ridden him, to tell Adam the truth? Certainly he had already told Tom yesterday, and both had made fun of him half the evening. If Adam should then tell Koko as well, he could really just pack up and leave.

"Hoss, what's wrong with you?"

Hoss winced as Koko stood beside him putting a hand on his arm. "I'm ... I'm only looking at the horses."

Koko looked at the paddock. "Uhm, Hoss, there are no horses. They've already moved on."

Now Hoss looked also in this direction and blushed. "Hoss, you're standing here for almost an hour. I've seen it from the kitchen window. So, would you mind telling me please, what's bothering you?"

He ran his fingers over the fence of the paddock. "I've had a dispute with Adam yesterday."

"Because of Ramero?"

"That - and something else."

"What more?"

He looked back at his fingers still running along the fence. "Hoss, ... you know you can trust me."

He pushed away from the fence and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Koko, ... I ... I ... " He looked at her seriously. "... I don't understand why you forgive Adam again and again."

Surprised Koko looked at him. "Why shouldn't I, Hoss? Adam and I have known each other for so long, and we've argued so often, but we share more than friendship, and a dispute cannot bring us apart."

Hoss looked at his feet. "But ..." He had to take a deep breath. "... how can you think of marrying him ... " He raised his head. "... he doesn't understand what the farm means to you. I can't imagine that he'll let you lead the farm this way once that he's living here."

Koko crossed her arms and smiled. "Did HE tell you that we will get married?"

Hoss blushed again and paced up and down the fence. "No ... no, he hasn't, but ... you will get married? I mean …. well ... "

He said nothing more. Koko hadn't moved, but followed him with the eyes. "Hoss, ... Adam and I won't get married."

Adam's brother interrupted his walk and looked at her confused. "But ... I mean ... why not?"

"Because I don't love Adam. My heart belongs to another man."

Hoss understood nothing at all. With his hands in his pockets and a blushed face, he looked at her with big eyes. "But ..., Adam always spends the evenings here, and ..." his head went down and he spoke very softly. "... the nights."

Koko went a step closer and took his hand. "Hoss, I don't know where your brother spends his nights, but not with me."

"But he loves you!"

Hoss still couldn't look into Koko's eyes. "No Hoss, Adam doesn't love me. His heart beats for another woman."

Suddenly Hoss pulled his hand away and looked at Koko offended. "He was with you and told you everything, and now you're making fun of me."

"Who was with me? And, I would never make fun of you."

"Well, Adam was with you and told you about yesterday. Everything that happened in the barn."

She tried to take his hand, but he pulled away. "Hoss, ... I've seen Adam last when I threw him out yesterday ... and you're telling me now, what else happened yesterday."

With crimson face Hoss was standing before her. Then he looked around and wondered how he could come out of this situation as quickly as possible.

„Hoss…?"

Hoss' shoulders slumped and he looked at Koko in desparation. "I punched Adam yesterday."

Koko couldn't help grinning.

"How can you laugh about it? Didn't you understand, I've punched my brother."

"I assume, he deserved it. I know how arrogant and self-confident he can be. I've seen it again just yesterday. What did he tell you?"

Hoss looked into the air. "It's not that important …. Koko, ... .you've said ..." He had his hands again in pockets. "... your ... your heart beats for another ... why is he never here?"

Koko smiled again. "But he is."

"Well, ... and are you going to marry him?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told me that he loves me."

"Oh, so you don't know him that long?"

"Yes. For a long time."

Hoss looked at her directly. "And why doesn't he say it? He's got to have noted that you like him."

Koko shrugged. "You've got to tell me, Hoss."

Hoss pointed a finger at himself. "I? Why should I tell you? I don't know what this guy's thinking."

"So, if you don't know what you're thinking, I don't know who might."

Hoss opened his mouth and looked at her with wide eyes. Then his expression was again quite serious. "You're both pulling my leg. That can't be."

Koko took his hand. "Hoss, I've said before, I'd never make fun of you. For this I love you too much."

"I ... but ..." Hoss got hardly a sound across his lips. "… that won't do. You're ... but ... older ... I ..."

She looked at him lovingly. "Hoss, when two hearts beat with the same rhythm, it doesn't matter how old you are, and I'm sure our hearts beat with the same rhythm. We just have to admit and dare it."

He looked at her hand, which still held his. Then he took all his courage. Hoss looked into Kokos eyes and kissed her.


	55. Chapter 55

Hoss came just out of the stable, when Adam arrived home. He waited until his brother had dismounted and stood before him. "Adam ..." Hoss slapped his hands on his legs. "... I want to apologize to you. I shouldn't have punched you."

Adam held the reins of Sport with one hand, the other hand he put into his pocket. "Hoss, I must apologize to you. I had no right to talk to you that way. I've hurt your feelings, and that I shouldn't have done."

Hoss stretched out his hand. „Forget it?"

Adam took the offered hand. „Forget it."

"What did you tell Pa about your eye?"

Adam scratched his temple. "He hasn't seen it yet. Today I wasn't only absent for breakfast, but left out lunch as well."

Hoss raised his eyebrows. "Then he will be in no good mood, and when he sees you in this condition ..."

Adam slapped his brother's arm. "I'll just set it straight, Hoss. Don't you worry."

"Shall I help you with Sport?"

With a smile, Adam thanked his brother and both brought Sport to the stall and took care of him.

However, before they entered the house, Adam grabbed Hoss' arm. "Hoss, ... if you want to talk to me about Koko, you can any time. I promise, I won't make fun again about your feelings."

Hoss looked at his brother. Should he talk to him about it now? He had kissed Koko only a few hours ago, and he really hadn't realized himself what had happened between them. But he wouldn't be able to avoid a conversation with Adam anyway, as it was now serious between Koko and him. Therefore, he put his arm on Adam's shoulder and walked on. "I will, Adam. I surely will."

They closed the door behind and looked at a desperate Little Joe, who ran back and forth in the living room and only stopped when he saw his two brothers.

"Hoss, ... Adam, ... finally you're here ... "

"Wynono ..."

Sarah ran toward Adam. "O'makiya na '."

Adam took his sister on his arm. "What happened, Winona?"

But before she could answer, Little Joe interjected. " What happened?"

Sarah wrapped her arms around Adam's neck and pressed herself against him.

"She does what she wants, doesn't listen to me, and I don't understand what she wants to tell me and ..." He pointed to Sophia, who was sitting on the floor and looked at them all with big eyes. "... she's beginning to crawl everywhere. If I even pay attention to Sarah at the same time, who won't listen to me, then I must start yelling."

"Nata 'maya'za."

Adam stroked his sister over the head. "Has Little Joe yelled so loudly?"

"Like Pa."

She held her ears. Joe came closer and pointed at Sarah. "That's what I mean, Adam. I can't understand her if she talks like that. She doesn't usually speak gibberish."

Hoss put his hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Joe, now calm down. You're really yelling around here almost like Pa. Where are he and Mum anyway?"

Little Joe crossed his arms angrily. "They wanted to have a little walk before supper and since none of my two big brothers showed up, I had to mind my sisters. Pa and Mum were hardly out of the house, when Sarah began to ask where Adam was and Sophie was always crawling between my feet."

The moment when Sophie heard her name, she began to whimper. "Joe, you're just too loud and too impatient."

Hoss shook his head and picked Sophie up. "My poor little cookie. Don't you cry. Your big brothers will protect you from this little devil."

Little Joe spread his arms. "If you are so perfect at babysitting, you can take over for now and I can have a rest."

With a leap, he landed on the settee and stretched out. Adam let Sarah down from his arm and pulled Little Joe back on his feet. "Oh no, little brother. You'll kindly prepare the table for supper now."

Joe looked at his brother in disgust. "And why should I do that?"

"Because I say so. You can get used to what work means. Because from next spring on you'll help us outside in the pastures."

"Since when you do call the shots here?"

"If you continue to be so cheeky, we can start now. It'll please you to mend the bridge below the river in this cold."

Again Little Joe flopped down on the settee. "Phhh, ... just because I was a little louder with your little darling, you think you can give me orders."

Adam grabbed Joe's arm and pulled him up again. "Well, young man, I think, in order that you can think calmly about how to behave properly, you'll ride with me to the West Pass to repair the roof of the shed tomorrow after school."

"Nope."

Adam narrowed his brows and his eyes went small. He took Little Joe's arm and started to go with him into the kitchen, when the front door opened and Ben and Emillia returned. Ben put down his stuff and looked around. "Is there trouble?"

Without taking his eyes from Joe Adam replied to his father. "No, no trouble."

Joe broke away from Adam and ran to his father. "But Pa ..., Adam thinks he's the boss now. He wants to tell me what I've got to do or not to do."

He crossed his arms and looked defiantly at his big brother. "He tells me from spring time on to help on the pasture, and because I wasn't quite thrilled about it, he says I have to ride with him to the mountain lodge at the West Pass tomorrow."

Ben just looked at Little Joe. "Joseph, ... if Adam says you should ride with him to the West Pass, then you're going to ride with him to the West Pass. That you're going to work more on the ranch from next year on, is right as well ..." Little Joe dropped his arms and looked at his father in amazement. "... And I don't want to hear again that you don't listen to your brothers. Is that understood, Joseph?"

Joe looked down. "Yes, Sir."

Ben looked around at all of his children. Hoss, who was standing with Sophie in his arms in front of the settee, Sarah who clung to Adam's leg, Adam, looking at the floor with his head down and beside him Little Joe, who also looked at the floor. Ben couldn't help smiling. What a stroke of luck! He had wonderful children and another woman at his side, whom he loved so dearly. But then his gaze returned to Adam, and he wondered why his eldest didn't look him in the eyes.

"Well, I think we're all preparing for the meal. Joseph, you'll set the table."

Sighing, Little Joe went to the kitchen.

"Adam, may I talk to you for a minute in the office?"

Adam nodded and followed his father. Sarah had let go of his leg and toddled toward her mother. When she walked past Little Joe he whispered to her very softly "little pest". She paused and stuck out her tongue. Then she quickly ran to her mother, who had noticed nothing of the differences of the two siblings.

Ben stood at the desk and looked at his son, who stood beside him. "Is everything okay with you, Adam? You were here neither for breakfast nor lunch, and now I feel I've just rebuked you and not Little Joe."

Slowly Adam turned to his father, who was holding his breath when he looked at him. "It looks worse than it is."

Ben tried to swallow his anger. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, son. Once you would have settled everything with words. But this year I've got the feeling you just want to let speak with your fists."

"Pa, ... it was just a misunderstanding. It's sorted now."

Ben tapped Adam's chest. "Dear son. You say that every time. Do you really think I'll always buy that?"

Adam grinned. "Yep."

Ben shook his head, but couldn't help a slight smirk. "And I had hoped that one of my children finally grew up ... And that was the reason that you weren't at dinner?"

"No. I had an appointment in Reno with a person in charge of the railway company. It was a very spontaneous date. Actually, I only wanted go to town today very early because I had to get some things for the house, but then I received this telegram from Frederic and I went off right away. I thought you got my message? I let it pass on to Mr. Conner to especially inform Little Joe."

Ben glanced toward the kitchen. "No I did not. Think tonight I need to have another serious talk with your brother about his present behavior."

XX

Adam put down his cup when he heard a knock on the door. "Emillia. Come in."

"Thanks, Adam. I don't want to disturb you for long. I thought I might free you from your little shadow."

Adam had to laugh. "Do you want a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, gladly."

"The pot is in the office. I'll get you a cup."

Emillia went to the office, while Adam went into the kitchen. She stood at the window and looked at the mountains.

"Here you go."

She turned around and took the cup from Adam. "Adam, I envy you this view. Do you ever come to do work, or do you look out of the window all the time?"

Smiling Adam drank a sip. "Sometimes it takes me a little longer for some things."

"I envy you not only the office. All the house is a dream. So beautiful and bright. Only be careful that I won't stand at your treshold some day with my things packed up, ready to move in."

Her stepson had to laugh out loud. "I'd like to see Pa's face if that happened."

"Adam, it would be crimson and his shouting could be heard even over here."

She turned to the easels that stood beside her. "Are these the stations for California?"

He put his cup down on a small table. "These are initially only designs for the first two. If the railway company likes them, I have to go to California to have a look at the sites in more detail. Then I can start the proper planning."

"The way you smile, it seems to have been the right decision to join Frederic's company."

With a satisfied face Adam looked at the drawings. "Yes, it was, and we complement each other very well. He'll take care of the work on site, because he knows how reluctant I am to stay for a long time in a big city, and I do the drawings and make the models, because since the accident in Boston his hand is never really free of pain."

"I think that wasn't the only right decision. Also, that you've built this house. I've got a feeling, even the few weeks since you can withdraw over here have been good for you and your father. You two handle each other in a much more relaxed way."

"Yes, I've got the same feeling. Although I love all my brothers and sisters, it's also nice to just be able to enjoy the peace without having to ride to my mountain ..." He chuckled. "... especially right now as it won't take long before the first snow falls."

"Yes, I'd even prefer your living room instead. But as we talk about your siblings - where is Sarah?"

With a smile, he looked up. "She's in my bed. The morning was a bit too exhausting. I hadn't laid her down properly as she was already asleep. I wanted to wake her up in an hour and bring her to you at coffee time."

"Were you with her again in the village at Koko's father?"

"We were, and as always she has played with the children there until she was completely done."

Emillia put her hand on his arm. "Adam, you have to tell me, if it gets too much with her for you. She didn't budge from your side beforehand. But since you're here in the house, I've got the impression that she doesn't let you out of her sight for a minute."

"Don't worry, Emilia. I'll let you know, and I believe when she's a little older, I won't be so interesting any more. Then she'll hold onto Joe."

"We will see. ... Adam, I think I'll have another coffee and sit in your living room, if you haven't got a problem with that?"

"I see, you'll often come here looking for Sarah."

She grinned at him. "Well, who can say where little kids always hide. Since a search might take one or two cups of coffee."

Still grinning, she left the office and Adam sat down at the desk.

XX

He reached the Ponderosa and looked at the sky. It surely would snow soon. Hoss had to promise Koko that he'd talk to Adam finally. In two days was her birthday, and she wanted to celebrate relaxed with both of them. Maybe he was lucky, and Adam wasn't at home, but as his view fell to the house, he could see that there was a light. With a rather uneasy feeling he directed Chub there. Then he stood a good ten minutes in front of the door until he finally had the courage to knock.

"Hoss, what brings you here?"

Adam looked at his brother's face. "Hoss, something's happened at home?"

Quickly Hoss lowered his head. "No, but ... you've said once I could talk to you about ... Koko."

Adam's eyebrows leaped up. He actually thought the issue had been dealt with since his brother hadn't said a word about it in all these weeks and seemed fine. "Come on in, Hoss. Do you want something to drink?"

Hoss shook his head, as he took off his hat and jacket. Then he stood before the fireplace and warmed his hands. Adam sat down in his chair and waited until Hoss was ready. When he still hadn't said a word after a while, Adam tried to help him. "Hoss, sit down and just start with what's bothering you."

Cautiously Hoss turned to his brother and put his hands into his pockets. "It's not that easy, Adam."

"To talk about feelings is never easy, and certainly not when you know that actually there can be no common future."

At his next words Hoss couldn't look into the eyes of his brother. "But there is a future for me and Koko."

When he had understood his brother's words, Adam leaned slightly forward. "Sorry, what did you say?"

With a determined expression Hoss raised his head and looked at Adam. "Koko and I are getting married in May."

Adam sucked in his breath. Very quietly he replied Hoss. "I hope, that's just a bad joke."

With a slightly blushed face Hoss denied the question. For a long time Adam looked at him. A quick twitch under his left eye was the only reaction that could be noticed from him. Then he stood up, walked to the window and looked at the mountains lying in the dark. Hoss stood still in front of the fireplace and didn't know what to say. He hadn't even thought about what would happen if he had told Adam the truth. Somehow he had hoped that Adam would say something, but his brother was still silent for many minutes and only looked out the window. When he was convinced that his brother didn't want to talk to him, Hoss decided that it was better to go.

"I will be going then."

"Why you, Hoss? Just why do you have to be the one?"

Hoss had his hat in his hand and looked at the brim. "I'm sorry, Adam, but Koko told me that between you two everything has been clarified."

His brother was still standing with his back to him, but in the window he could see how Adam held his hand over his eyes. "Why couldn't it be someone we don't know!"

Hoss slapped his hat against his leg. "I know, Adam. It's not easy, but Koko asked me to tell you, that I should talk to you about anything. Then it might not be so complicated for both of us."

Adam slowly turned around, but didn't answer his brother. "Adam, ... I ... if I ...", to work up his courage, he took another deep breath. "... if I had known that you're still in love with her, I'd have ..."

Adam interrupted him and walked to the fireplace. "Hoss, I've never loved Koko. Definitely not the way you love her apparently. Since I was in search of my guardian spirit last year, all has been cleared up between us. What Koko and I feel for each other, can't be described so easily."

"Koko has been trying to explain to me that only your souls are in love with each other but you know me, Adam. Although I'm aware of how the Indians live and what they believe, I don't understand it. I can't live according to their way of life as you do, but if Koko tells me that there's another kind of love between you, different to the one I feel for her, that's fine for me."

Adam laughed softly, leaning with both hands at the fireplace. "If it could just be that easy."

Hoss took a step closer to the fireplace. "Adam, I think you're right that it's a bit weird. But I think in time it'll get easier for both of us to deal with the situation."

Adam turned back to Hoss. "Hoss, actually I've got no problem with the fact that you're in love with Koko. I should have figured it out a long time ago that it's you who has captured Koko's heart ..." He ran again his hand over his face. "... But I would have wished for you, it hadn't come so ... Koko told you, we both should talk about anything, and I know exactly what she meant."

"About what else should we talk?"

Adam put his hands in his pockets, but he didn't look at his brother's face. "You remember the day when Sophie was born?"

Hoss kneaded his hat. "How can I forget that day?"

"Then you remember also the fact that you had asked me in the kitchen, if I was at Koko's that night?"

"Yes, ... you said you were so tired you fell asleep on the settee."

Adam now looked past Hoss. He couldn't look him in the eye for what he had to tell him now. "That night I was at Koko's, but I didn't fall asleep on the settee."

From the corner of his eye he saw that Hoss closed his eyes, and his knuckles were white as he held his hat tighter. "Since you're telling me this, I assume that you didn't just talk."

"No. ... Hoss, I'm sorry!"

Shortly Hoss fell silent, but then he opened his eyes and looked at his brother indignantly. "Didn't you tell me, since you were on your vision quest, everything has been clarified between you and Koko?"

Adam nodded. "Sophie was born five months later."

With two steps he was at Adam and pushed him against the fireplace. "How could you just do that, Adam?"

Hoss threw his hat on the settee and paced across the room. "Hoss, if I had known what you feel for Koko, ..."

With momentum Hoss turned to him. "Shut up, Adam."

Hoss breathed again deeply and slapped his fist several times slightly against the wall. Then he looked at Adam closely. "Koko and I are getting married in May anyway. But if I see you come that close to her just once, I will forget that you're my brother. Adam, you'll always be welcome on our farm. I'll also accept that between the two of you exists a special relationship, but I do not want you sitting with her in your arm in front of the fireplace or outside on the bench."

Adam nodded again. "Promise, Hoss."

"And, Adam ...", he seized his brother's shoulders and looked at him intently. "In future the doors will remain open, if Koko's with you, especially if you're wearing as much as on the day of Tom's wedding."

Hoss tightened his grip. "Understood?"

"Understood!"

Grinning, he let Adam go. Although it could be seen that he still had to chew on what Adam had just told him, he held out his hand. "Let's forget it."

Relieved and with a smile Adam accepted. "Thank you, Hoss. Let's forget it."

Hoss exhaled. "Well, now I've got a really tough talk ahead of me."

„Pa?"

„Pa."

"You know, Hoss ..." A broad grin - like Little Joe's when he was up to something – spread on Adam's face. "... since you have forgiven me, I'll help you with Pa. If you want!"

"Well, I don't know ... just your grin makes me a little scared."

"Come on, Hoss. Since Pa's annoying me all the time about when I will finally get married, it's now my turn to annoy him."

When he said that, he slapped Hoss against the belly.

"All right. But it better not go wrong."

"Oh, it won't. Well, I promised Winona that I'm sleeping today at home. Can you take care of the fire at the fireplace? I will put out the light in the office. Then we can go home together."

"Will do, big brother."

XXX

With Sarah on the shoulders Adam went downstairs to the breakfast table, wished everyone a good morning and sat down. "Wynono ..."

Sarah laughed. "Oh Winona, what are you doing up there?"

„Down."

„Ta'ku eha he?"

Sarah giggled and looked at her father. "Ate '... o'makiya ye ..."

Ben's eyes were instantly double-sized. "Adam, can you please let Sarah down? You know I don't like this fooling around at the table. And I asked you not to talk to her this way. First she should learn our language properly."

He put Sarah down and on her chair. Then Adam took a coffee and glanced at Hoss, who poked nervously at his food. "Well, I think it's important that she speaks both languages."

"Adam, I think we have both had this conversation already."

"Well, if you see it that way."

Suspiciously Ben looked at his son. He wasn't used to him giving up so quickly if something was important to him.

"I just thought if Amarok and his tribe will soon belong officially to the family, your daughter should be able to speak his language. Out of courtesy and appreciation."

Slowly Ben put down his knife and fork. "Adam, ... are you pulling my leg or have you changed your opinion regarding Koko? If this is one of your bad jokes once again, I don't think it's funny."

"No, Pa. I'm not kidding. Koko will finally be your daughter in law in May. As you've always wanted."

Ben looked at his wife and then back to Adam and a beam formed in his eyes, but he didn't really trust his son. "Then Koko is going to move into your house?"

"Nope."

His father was taken aback a little. "You move to the farm?"

"Nope."

"Adam, what? I thought you said you marry Koko in May?"

"No, I didn't. I just said, that she will be your daughter in law."

Grinning, he watched Hoss, who timidly looked at everybody at the table and then blushed slightly. Ben looked at Hoss with big, disbelieving eyes, and then looked again at Adam. "I don't know what to say!"

"But I do." Emillia stood up and walked around the table to Hoss. "Come on, Hoss."

Slowly and somewhat embarrassed Hoss stood up so Emillia could hug him. "Good luck to you both. Ben, now will you finally get up and congratulate your son? And don't look so surprised. I've already told you ages ago that Adam won't be the one to marry Koko. And anyone with only a little common sense must have realized who suits her better."

The eyes again focused on Adam, Ben rose and then looked over at Hoss. "I will of course congratulate you, son. But forgive me if I have to get used to the idea."

While he hugged Hoss, he watched Adam, who looked thoughtfully at his cup.


	56. Chapter 56

Koko looked out the window. The way it looked it would snow tonight for sure. December had been quite mild with little snow, but apparently January caught up now. She wondered whether the wood for tonight would be sufficient or whether she had to go out to fetch some. She put a pot of water on the stove and looked into the corner where the wood was placed. With a content smile that she didn't need to go out in the cold again, she returned to the stove.

She was startled when there was a knock at the door, and she wondered who would come for a visit at that time. Hoss had gone to the village before supper to get something. And he wouldn't knock. So she wiped her hands on her apron and went to the door. Her eyes fell on the knife that was lying on the small table next to the door, but actually she didn't have to worry. If it was a stranger, the dogs would have barked.

"Who's there?"

"It's me, Adam."

She opened the door, letting a grinning Adam in. "What's up, Koko? Did you think, who's at the door?"

Outraged, she looked at him and slammed the door behind him. "Hey, up to now I've never been alone here over the winter."

Adam took off his coat. "Am I disturbing you?"

Koko went into the kitchen. "Not you, but if you want to talk with me, you need to join me in the kitchen as I'm about to cook."

Adam followed her and sat down at the kitchen table. "I thought Hoss was with you?"

"He only went to the village. He should be back soon."

He nodded and pushed back and forth the cutlery that was on the table. Koko put the wooden spoon aside and crossed her arms. "What's wrong, Adam? You're not just here because you got bored."

"I wanted to see you again."

She laughed and poured him a cup of tea and put the cup on the table. "Try. My mother mixed some herbs. I think it tastes pretty good."

After a sip from the cup, he put it on the table. „Well, it tastes … interesting."

"Interesting? Oh Adam, when she hears that, she'll never let you back into her teepee. Now tell me what really leads you here. We've seen each other only last week. The longing for me can't be so strong."

"Are you happy?"

Koko frowned. "Adam, what's this question?"

"It's just a question."

"No, it isn't. Hoss told me that you've been very quiet and thoughtful lately. Is he right, and your feelings for me are more than friendship?"

Adam stood up and walked to the kitchen window, but turned right back to Koko. "No. Nothing has changed, and I've got no problem any more with the fact that you're going to marry Hoss. The whole thing only has got me thinking again."

Koko turned back to the stove and continued her work. "The way you look, nothing good came out of it. Have you collected new stones for your wall?"

He leaned against a kitchen cabinet and put his hands in his pocket. "I try not to use them. That's why I'm here."

Without interrupting her work, she spoke to him. „Just what are you worrying about?"

With his view directed to the ceiling he continued. "I wonder why you all can summon up this courage, and I can't. Even though I'd like to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, ... Tom had the courage to leave the ranch to become deputy.

Frederic and Bridget prevailed against their father and moved to the West, and even my brother has the courage to stand by his feelings, and everyone's happy with their decisions. Only I ..." He went back to the table. "... I cannot manage to tear this stupid wall in me down."

She put the knife aside and joined him. "What happened?"

With both hands he steadied himself at the table. "Shortly after your birthday I received a second letter from Bridget."

"And ... you haven't read it again?"

"No, I've read it, as well as the first."

She put her hand on his arm. "But that's good. I've told you repeatedly, you won't tear this wall down all of a sudden, just because you really want to. You try again to connect your feelings with your mind, and that won't work." Skeptical she looked at him. "Why did the second letter cause you to worry? What did you write back to her?"

His gaze was again directed at the table. "I haven't written to her ..." He looked at her now. "... I wanted to, but then I've remembered your words. That I cannot yet be sure how my feelings really are for her after all this time, and what she thinks about me."

She pulled on his arm, so he had to turn to her. "Wynono. What did you want to write to her? That she should pack her things and come to you?"

His look was slightly embarrassed. "Well, I might have used some other words."

"You know, Wynono, you almost never forget something. But what I'm trying to tell you about your feelings and your mind you seem to continually suppress."

She put the potatoes into the boiling water and turned back to him. "You can't really expect a woman who, as it stands, has been waiting for almost six years for you, to finally dare the first step to pack her bags to come to you right away."

"That's why I didn't answer."

Koko closed her eyes. "It didn't even cross your mind to write a normal letter. Something like ... Hi I'm fine ... Thanks for your letter?"

Adam scratched his forehead. "No."

Koko opened her eyes. "I don't understand you. You flirt at every possible opportunity. This wasn't only in school, but even now, but when it comes to Bridget you're worse than Hoss."

Adam just shrugged. "Will you tell me what she wrote?"

"Not much. Only that she finds it a pity that I didn't reply and that she's happy that in February her brother and family will be coming to Beardstown. She also wrote that her contract will expire in summer, and she doesn't know if she should extend it or if she should look for a job in another town."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Is it so hard to answer this and then just see how everything will go on? I wonder what you're afraid of?"

His voice didn't have the strength which it otherwise always had. "I don't know, Koko. I always feel like I'm going one step forward, but in the next moment ten steps back."

She came up to him and held his hands. "You must have more patience ..." She tapped with a finger to his forehead. "... Your mind and your heart still don't speak the same language, but believe me, you're on the right track. It can be seen more and more. You seem to be more calm, and I don't mean your constant brooding in recent weeks."

He inhaled deeply. "Yes, negotiations on a treaty are much easier to me."

"Of course, there you can switch off your feelings excellently."

"Then that's my good intention for the coming year. To have more patience with me."

"And to write a letter to Bridget. A perfectly normal letter."

He laughed. "I'm going to do that, too."

She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in. Slowly Adam put his arms around Koko. "I'm convinced, not later than thirty you will have achieved all your goals."

Again he had to laugh. "I'll remind you. ... Koko, thank you for everything, and I'm happy for you and Hoss."

He had her still in his arms, when the door opened. "Dad-burnit, that's gone co ..."

Hoss stopped and looked at Koko and Adam. Immediately Adam raised both hands up and took a step back. "I've only said thank you, Hoss, nothing more."

Koko had to laugh seeing Adam's reaction. "Hoss, I think your blow that time has left a lasting impression on your brother."

Hoss closed the door. "I hope so. Relax, big brother. Koko would tell me if you had forgotten what I told you."

Cautiously Adam took his hands down again.

"Did you get it, Hoss?"

Grinning Hoss nodded. Then Koko stood next to Adam and put her arm around him. Adam looked at her, then at Hoss and took a step to the side. "Adam, ..." She couldn't stop grinning. "... just because Hoss and I get married, it doesn't mean, you always have to keep a twenty yards distance from me."

Hoss now also stood next to Adam. "But I must say, I like that you have so much respect for me."

Adam stood in the middle, crossed his arms and his eyes moved from left to right. "You're both enjoying this?"

"Yep."

"Hoss, you shouldn't be so mean to him. Adam, ... Hoss and I had an idea. Since you can't sit with me on that bench outside in the evening hours from now on, we thought, you might need a replacement."

"A substitute for you ...?" He looked at the two directly. "... You scare me a little."

"Big brother, I know how happy you were sitting outside with Koko on your arm. So we thought we could get you another girl with whom you can cuddle."

Adam went two steps forward and turned to face both. "Don't you even think about it!"

"But Adam, you still haven't even seen her."

Aghast Adam looked at her. "Koko, what's this all about?"

"Well, I'd take her right away."

Now he looked at his brother in disbelief. "Hoss!"

With a big grin Hoss opened his jacket and pulled out a little dog, who couldn't be older than three months. "What ..."

"That's Rusty and, well, we thought she might be just as a good listener to you, and then you wouldn't be so alone in your house."

Hoss held out the dog. "Hoss, ... I ..."

The dog looked at him with big eyes, and Adam couldn't help but to take her in his arms. His brother nudged Koko. "What did I tell you? He cannot resist the eyes of a beautiful girl."

"Then try to get to know each other, and I'll take care of the meal. I'm not having you telling me later that you starved in my home."

Hoss took off his jacket and then rejoined Adam. "She's from the village. Koko saw her and told me about it. You'll keep her?"

Adam held the puppy and looked at her. "Adam, she's an Indian dog. You gotta want to keep her."

"Of course I'll keep her! But Hoss, I think we two should talk once again that it's not the same if you have a dog or a girl in your arms, let alone - as you said so beautifully - ... to cuddle."

Hoss laughed loudly.

XXX

Little Joe left the school building and groaned at the same time. "What's up, Little Joe?"

Joe turned to the side and watched his friend Greg. "My big brother is over there. I will have to ride again with him out to pasture for sure. But us two wanted to go fishing today."

"And if we run round the back?"

"Won't work, my pony's still there, and I'm sure he's already seen me."

Greg pushed his shoe against a stone. "Why do you have to constantly work at the ranch in the afternoon? That hadn't been like that before."

Joe peered slightly to the side, checking if Adam was still waiting for him. "My father thinks as I'm becoming fourteen this year, that it's about time that I learn what the ranch work involves. As if I don't know already."

"But Saturday is fixed, or do you have to work, too?"

"Nope. I'll come to you, even if I have to sneak out of the house."

"See you, Joe."

"See you tomorrow, Greg."

Markedly slowly Little Joe strolled to his horse. "Hello, Little Joe."

"Adam."

"Your pleasure is quite obvious."

Joe stowed his books in the saddlebags. "It's already the third day this week that I've got to ride out. I thought today I could to do something with Greg."

"Joe, you know that in spring there's a lot to do. We can use every helping hand."

With eyes downcast Joe took the reins in his hand.

"My horse is still in front of the sheriff's office."

Joe nodded and walked beside Adam, who whistled for Rusty. "In the next life I'll be a dog. Then I don't need to work."

Adam put an arm round his brother. "Well, there was a time, when you couldn't wait to become a cowboy."

His little brother shook his arm off. "Then I didn't know that I was doing everything wrong in your eyes."

"You're not doing everything wrong, you're just too impatient and you're somehow unwilling to accept explanations. Especially not from me."

Little Joe stopped. "You're always annoyed right away when I can't do something at once. In the past you showed more patience with me."

Even Adam didn't go on. "Joe, you're no longer four years old."

With the reins in his hand and his head down his little brother stood before him. "But I've got the feeling you expect of me that I can do everything at once, but ..." He looked at Adam with sad eyes. "... I'm not like you or Hoss. I can't do that all at once."

Adam put a hand on Joe's shoulder. "Joe, but I'm not expecting that from you. I only wish you would listen better and to let me finish when I'm talking to you. I'm trying to explain something to you, and then you start right off, without thinking about it."

"But what you're telling me, never seems to be that difficult."

"In fact it really isn't, but you don't think about what you want to do. You act first and then you start to think about it, and that's usually the problem."

Joe patted his horse and looked at the ground. "Hey, Joe ... I promise, I'll be more patient with you in future."

His little brother looked up again. "And I promise to listen better."

Before Adam took his hand off Joe's shoulder, he once again gave him a little pat. "We will both work on it, and now let's go. I also need to have a little talk with Pa today."

Adam wanted to go when Joe held him by the arm. "Adam ... ?"

He paused again, crossed his arms and with a slight grin, he looked at Joe. "What else, my little rascal?"

Joe grimaced slightly. "I ... uhm ... when are you going fishing with me again? You only seem to be doing plenty things with Sarah. Since I ..." He looked back down. "... since I shot you, we've done nothing together. Is that why? Are you still angry with me?"

Completely flabbergasted Adam let his arms drop, then put his hands on Joe's shoulders. "Joe, look at me." Joe raised his head and looked at his brother. "Joe ... I'm not mad at you. To me this incident is long forgotten. At that time we talked about it and that settled it. That I haven't done anything lately with you alone, was only because I had the feeling that you had no interest in doing something with me."

"Of course, I want to do something with you. I would also like to go with you on a hunt again or ride together to Carson City and come back the next day and then ... "

The eyes of his little brother sparkled with joy as he listed what he'd like to do. Adam laughed "Stop, Joe. If we want to do all that, we won't be ready before your twentieth birthday, but ... " Adam scratched his neck and thought for a moment. "Careful, I can't promise anything yet. I must soon go on a trip for some time. I'll ask Pa if I can take you with me."

Joe stood there open-mouthed. "You want to take me? Just me? No Hoss? No Sarah?"

Adam ran his hand through Joe's hair. "Only you and Rusty. But as I said, I need to talk to Pa first. We will be almost three weeks on the road for sure, and I don't know if he'll allow that you may be absent from school for so long."

"Well, of course he will allow it. You manage almost always to convince him and what you don't manage, Mum will do."

Adam slapped him gently against the head. "Let's not let Pa hear that and now come on, you little rascal."

"Hey, I'll soon turn fourteen, and when I'm as big as Hoss then, I'm no longer little."

Both went laughing to the Sheriff's office. They had just reached Adam's horse when Buck and Mitch ran at their feet. "Hello, Cartwright."

Adam rolled his eyes and was about to go on when Mitch held his hand against his chest to stop him. With a scowl Adam looked first at the hand and then at Mitch. "Take your hand off me."

Mitch raised his hand and took a step back. "Ohhh, now you're making like the strongman, Cartwright ..." Joe's eyes wandered from his brother to Mitch and back again. "... It has yet been confirmed what I've been saying for years, that you're a wimp."

He burst out laughing and slapped his friend Buck on the arm. "The wimp got his girl taken away from him by his idiotic brother."

Little Joe let go of the reins and jumped between Adam and Mitch. "Take that back!"

Without taking his eyes from Mitch Adam pushed Little Joe aside. "Joe, you stay out of this."

"Look, Buck. As it stands, there is at least one Cartwright, who's got some guts. I can hardly wait until he gets his first gun."

Adam took a step closer to Mitch. His eyes were only aimed at those of Mitch. Rusty sat beside Joe and growled. "Don't you even dare to think of it."

Even Mitch's voice was very quiet. "Then let's settle this once and for all or do you lack courage to do it? Or are you really just a miserable little coward?"

Adam said nothing, but still looked Mitch in the eyes.

„My brother is no coward. If he wanted, he'd shoot you down without batting an eyelid."

"Oh, how cute, the wimp has to be protected by his little brother."

Just as Buck said this he went to put his arm around Little Joe's shoulder, but no sooner had he taken a step closer to Joe, the growling of Rusty grew louder and Buck flinched.

"Is that so, Cartwright, you always need someone to protect you?"

"It's so ridiculous, what you're trying here for years. I'm not getting provoked by you."

"Not? ... Well, but you can tell me later if you had to support your idiotic brother on his wedding night. All alone he certainly won't make it."

Adam briefly held his breath. Then he went back two steps. Slowly, without averting his gaze, he slid his hand toward his holster. On Mitch's face a thick grin spread and his hand was only a few inches from his gun.

"All right, guys, I think that's enough."

Tom was about to leave the office when he saw what was going on the road ahead. With quick strides he reached the two and stood between them. "Mitch, I think you're going to take your friend and get out of here."

Mitch's eyes went to Tom's chest, where the badge hung. Then he grabbed Buck's arm and went off. "Cartwright, one day there will be no one to protect you."

Adam shook his head and relaxed again.

"Tom, why did you interfere? That mean guy insulted Hoss and called Adam a coward."

"Joe, calm down!"

„Nope!"

Joe backed away from Tom's arm, who just wanted to grab him at the shoulder. "Adam should have defended himself."

"No, Joe. It was right that Tom went in between. It's never good to duel with someone just because of words."

"But now everyone thinks you're a coward and don't even defend your family."

"Joe, true greatness and strength of character are shown when you can't be provoked by such people as Mitch. If you pick an arguement with anyone who's insulting you or your family, you won't get old. Believe me, there are many here in Virginia City, just waiting that one of us makes a mistake."

"How come?"

"Because they are envious of what Pa achieved here, and they believe that we have way too much influence on what happens here."

Tom put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Adam's right, Joe. During the last sixteen years you managed to build the largest ranch here in Nevada. And as many as are envious of you, as many listen to what your father says. They've got a high opinion of him and that's just why it would suit such people as Mitch fine, if one of you guys would step out of line and break the law."

Joe looked at Adam. "But Adam would only have defended himself. That's only fair."

"Yes, actually you're right. But believe me, Mitch and Buck had turned it so that Adam would have gotten the blame if he had survived at all. And quite honestly, would you like to see your brother lying dead on the street, just because someone has called him a coward?"

Joe exhaled loudly and looked at his boots. "Nope."

Tom slapped his shoulder and turned to Adam. "I won't always be around, buddy."

Nodding Adam gave his friend a pat on the back. "No, you won't, but I'm sure it can't be prevented. Mitch has pursuing me for so long. His aim is to harm me. He won't stop suddenly. Sooner or later it'll happen."

"Then don't get involved. Don't get provoked by him. Adam, those are just words. For deeds he's too much of a coward."

"Tom, I've never remained as quiet as today, but you can't escape your fate. Mine will be that there will be a final shoot-out between Mitch and me. There's no other way out."

"Adam ..."

Adam untied his horse and climbed into the saddle. "Tom. It's fine, and I thank you that today wasn't the day."

He turned to Joe. "Come on, Joe. Hoss and Pa are waiting for us. There are some calves who want to get a branding from you today."

Joe's head jerked up. "Me?"

"Well, one day you gotta start. Today is as good as any and now up on the horse."

Joe took the reins and swung into the saddle. Adam tipped his hat and nodded Tom goodbye.

XX

Adam joined his father at the chuck wagon. "Joe did quite well."

Adam looked at his little brother who had just branded another calf. "Well, he's got me as a teacher."

Ben laughed. "Son, that's nothing to write home about."

"Pa, I wanted to talk to you about something." Adam took a cup of coffee.

"What is it about?"

"We're making good progress, and I think most of the work will be done by next week."

"Yes …?"

Ben sensed that something was coming, that certainly wouldn't please him.

"We've won the bid, and I will have to go to California short-term to look at the first two sites for the stations."

Slowly Ben set down his cup. "'California' and 'short-term' to be mentioned in one sentence is very brave, son."

Adam grinned. "Well, I'd be three weeks off for sure."

"But that could be very tight with the wedding of Hoss and Koko."

"Not if I leave next week. Then I still have two weeks left if it might take some more time."

His father took several deep breaths. "You know that I actually need you here."

"And you know that you're constantly complaining at Emillia that you've only so little to say and do."

Ben crossed his arms. "The older you get, all the cheekier you get, son."

"I've always been this way, but you've just never listened to me."

"But you know what you're doing to me and Emillia?"

Confused Adam looked at him. "No?"

"Well, I've no doubt that Sarah will be sick again, if you're not back after two days."

"You can play on my guitar every evening. Maybe it'll help."

Now Ben laughed. "I don't want to get thrown out of my own house. But well, I think we can do without you for three weeks. Now that Joe is such a big help."

A bit embarrassed Adam scratched his chest. "Uhm, Pa, ... there's one more thing ..."

"I think about that I won't be delighted about this either."

His son looked at him innocently. "I'd like to take Little Joe with me."

Ben opened his mouth and closed it. "Well, ... not only that he would miss school ... but why Joe?"

Adam looked at his little brother. "I think that would do us both good. We've done nothing together for quite some time, and he is somewhat jealous of Winona. I don't want our relationship we had before Boston to break down."

For a long time Ben looked at Little Joe. He had to agree with Adam. He had already noticed that Joe didn't deal well with the fact that he wasn't the youngest family member any longer. And with the relationship of his brother and Sarah, it was obvious how he had to fight for attention a little. Was that the reason he was so off track lately?

"Sarah."

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"Her name is Sarah, Adam. Not Winona. I don't say Wynono to you, too."

"I try to remember."

By Adam's grin Ben realized that he would continue to address her with her Indian name. "But don't you bring me Joe back home with an Indian name."

"Well, now that you mention it."

Ben raised his hand. "Thanks, Pa. Joe will be happy about it. "

Adam put down the cup and went to leave. "Adam, ... since we've just talked about a good relationship, I'd like to ask you a question."

He pushed his hat back a little, crossed his arms and smiled at his father. "I'm listening, Pa."

Ben shook his head. "Adam, ... you've really got no problem that Hoss marries Koko? I mean, it took me some weeks to get used to this idea. All these years it was obvious to me that you're going to be Koko's husband and not your brother. So I ask myself, how are you doing now?"

He pushed his hat back straight and looked at his father sympathetically. "Pa, Koko and I never really loved each other."

"But it looked different to me."

"No, Pa. Hoss is the right one for Koko, and I'm happy for them."

"Adam, are you sure? I like Koko, as if she were my own daughter, but I don't want disputes to arise between you and Hoss because of her."

Adam put his arm around his father. "Pa, ... I think you're the only one in the family who's still got a problem. Hoss and I have none."

"I don' t either. I just wanted to show you that your in my mind and in my thoughts."

With a slightly offended expression he walked a few steps away from Adam. Then he pointed to Rusty. "What's with this stray? Is it here to stay, when you leave with Joe for California?"

"Pa, you have to make up your mind. You'd like that I finally have a woman at my side. Finally I got one, and now you're not satisfied again."

With a cheeky grin, he returned to his brothers, and Ben put his cup down with so much momentum that the coffee spilled over.


	57. Chapter 57

Little Joe ran down the stairs. "Pa, is Adam already there?"

"Joseph, how many times have I told you that you shouldn't run in the house."

With great vigor Joe sat at his place and went to reach for the milk jug. With his chair shifting he pushed against the pot, so that it toppled over.

„JOSEPH."

Little Joe jumped up to pick up the pot again, but he tipped over his cup with his forearm. Eyes wide, he watched his father, who looked at him with a crimson face. Laughing Hoss stood up. „Oh Little Joe, if you continue this way for the next three weeks, Adam will have a lot of fun with you."

Hoss went to the kitchen to fetch a cleaning cloth.

"Little Joe pig."

Sarah looked at her brother and laughed. "I am not, you little nuisance."

"Joseph, if you don't sit down at once and behave yourself, then you won't leave with Adam today."

"Oh, I see, we're having a relaxed Saturday morning."

Emillia came with Sophie on her arm down the stairs. "Little Joe's a pig." 

"Sarah, apologize immediately."

„Ta'ku eha he ate'?"

"Sarah talk properly."

Emillia sat with Sophie at the table. "I see that you've got everything under control, Ben."

Her husband gave her an annoyed look. Hoss came back, wiped the table clean and then gave Little Joe the cleaning cloth. "You can take it back to the kitchen, but try to walk slowly."

Somewhat grumbling Little Joe took the damp cloth away. At that moment the front door opened and Adam came in. "Good Morning."

He took of his coat, sat down at the table and instantly got one of the typical views of his father when something was annoying him. Ignoring it, Adam took some food. "And, Joe's ready?"

"Yes, he is ... Adam, do you have to always bring the dog into the house?"

Adam turned to Rusty who had lain down in front of the fireplace. "Yes."

Then he turned back to his breakfast.

"Adam ..." With quick steps Joe came out of the kitchen and plopped down in his chair. "... I've everything packed. Can we go now?"

Calmly Adam took a bite of his bread. "But unfortunately I can't take you with me."

His little brother looked at him in horror. "Why not?"

"I wanted to be back in time for the wedding, but as it looks I'm not going to make it with you."

"Of course you will. I won't stop you."

"Yes, you will. I've seen, your horse isn't even ready yet."

Little Joe opened his mouth and just looked at him, then at his father. "Joseph, does this also mean that you haven't taken care of the barn this morning?"

Quickly Joe shut his mouth and looked at his plate. "Adam, are you sure that you want to take your brother with you?"

"I want to leave in about an hour. If he's ready then, I'll take him with me. Unless ….."

He said nothing more, but looked at Joe. "Pa, ... can I please get up and take care of the barn and my horse?"

"Hurry up, so you can still eat something, or you'll be cranky after a short time."

Slowly Joe stood up but then ran to the door and closed it with a loud bang. Ben ran his hand across his neck and exhaled loudly.

„Pa, wanítukha he?"

Ben loudly struck his hand on the table. "Sarah, I've told you a thousand times, you shall speak properly."

Emillia put her hand on his arm. "Ben ..."

"Emillia, I sometimes get the feeling everyone just does what they want around here."

Adam looked at his sister, who was staring at her hands with tears in her eyes. Quietly, he spoke to her. „Hiyú wo."

Then he pushed back his chair and spread his arms. Immediately Sarah stood up and sat down on his lap. "You're right. Pa is only tired, but you know, he doesn't understand you when you talk to him this way."

She also spoke very quietly with him. "Pa yells all the time."

"You needn't whisper, Sarah, but if you don't listen to what I'm saying, I will get loud."

She clung to Adam. "Wynono, a'ya ye?"

"I can't take you on the trip. But I promise, I'm back soon, and Koko told me that she will take you to the village now and then, so you can play with the kids there."

Sarah snuggled up to him, looking at her father.

"I'll go see how far Joseph got."

Ben stood up and left the house, and Emillia watched him go.

"He has been like this for a few days. Adam, please promise to bring Joe back home safe and sound. Your father has put up a fight with letting him go for so long."

"It'll work out. Up to Nevada City isn't so far away, and then again a little further to Sacramento. Not much can happen and in the cities I'll keep an eye on him."

"Well, I'd almost bet that you only come back just in time because Little Joe's up to some nonsense."

"Joe will make it. We have to trust him sometimes."

Hoss laughed. "We are talking about three weeks, Adam."

Adam smiled and with Sarah on his lap, he finished breakfast.

"Adam, why don't we take a pack mule?"

Adam mounted. "If our supplies that we have in the saddlebags are finished, we will live by what we find in nature."

Open-mouthed Joe mounted his horse to look dumbfounded ahead.

Ben came to Adam's side. "Adam, ..."

With a smile Adam interrupted his father. "Pa, we will be back on time and healthy. You let me go up to Boston all alone, then I'll make those few miles without complications."

Ben nodded, but didn't tell him that he, when he had gone to Boston, didn't have Joe with him. If his youngest didn't change completely during these three weeks, there would be trouble ahead. He was quiet sure of. "Take care."

„We will, Pa."

Joe and Adam waved goodbye and rode off.

XXX

Little Joe shifted in his saddle back and forth. Since morning he no longer knew how to sit properly. He had hoped that they would take a longer break in the afternoon, but Adam wanted to ride on until the evening, so that they could leave the Sierra tomorrow. And that was just because he was concerned that it would rain soon. Here, the sky was perfectly blue. But no, he had to listen to a lecture, that in the Sierra at this time of year you could never be sure how long the weather would last.

"Joe, what's wrong? Any slower and you can walk along beside your horse."

Most of all Joe would have liked to tell his brother that he could save his stupid comments. He was after all not used to sitting in the saddle all day, and he would probably never get used to it. Not only did his rump hurt, but also his arms and his back. In fact everything hurt and he was doggone tired. In the evening he could never fall asleep because all his bones hurt, and in the morning he was awakened by Adam so early that he had the feeling that he hadn't slept more than two hours. "Adam, I can't go on. Cant we take a break? And I'm hungry, too."

Adam stopped, turned to the side and waited until Joe had caught up. "Joe, we've almost made it. But we can't take a break. If you get off the saddle right now, I won't get you back on the horse today. If you keep up for one more hour, we'll look for a place for the night."

"One hour?"

"Promise, but only if you step on it."

With a deep sigh Joe let his horse trot. Adam had to smile when he saw how he tried not to touch the saddle. Adam thought about his first cattle drive and how much he had suffered, but he really couldn't ride more slowly. Otherwise they wouldn't only be late for his appointment, they would miss the wedding, too. But if Joe now gritted his teeth, then they would certainly find a perfect place for the night within the next hour and reach Nevada City tomorrow late afternoon. Adam trotted off and caught up with Joe. When he would talk to him about his plans during the summer holidays it would certainly distract Little Joe from the pain.

With a jerk, he took off the saddle and had to make sure that he didn't fall over backward. He vowed to never go again on a trip with Adam. He never would have thought that it could be so tiring to travel from one place to another. Why hadn't they just taken the stage coach? But that probably wouldn't be in the way of the Indians, like this great idea to live on what they would find in nature. Gradually he could understand his father, who was annoyed of Adam and his way of thinking now and then. With a faint groan Joe carried the saddle to his sleeping place. Then he looked to his horse, which he also had to take care of. "Joe, what would you prefer to do? Take care of the food for today or to take care of the fire?"

Adam gave him a pat on the back, and Joe stumbled two steps forward. "Adam, why can't I just sit here and wait until you've done everything?"

"Because then you will have to wait even longer for your food and never learn how to get along alone outside."

Joe rolled his eyes. Why did everything had to end in a lesson with Adam all the time? Then he could have stayed at home and go to school. That wouldn't have been so exhausting. "I don't need to know. I'll never be travelling alone because you'll never leave me more than two miles from the Ponderosa without supervision."

Grinning and nodding Adam looked at him. "And there will be no change to that unless you show us that you can manage it."

Angrily Joe glared at him. "You know, Adam, I really thought we could have fun together, going with you on this trip, but until now you've badgered me from sunup to sundown."

"Joe, we've been riding very slowly, and if you had taken better care of your saddle, as I told you, it wouldn't be so hard. We were very lucky that we didn't have one of the strong rains that are still common here in April. Believe me, you'd have cursed even more, if you had been soaked to the skin and freezing. You know how cold it gets when the sun is gone."

He put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "But now we've done the worst part. By tomorrow afternoon we will arrive in Nevada City, and then you will sleep in a soft bed."

Joe looked at him in surprise. "Tomorrow? Already?"

"Yes, but only if we work together and everyone takes care of his tasks. If I've got to do everything on my own, then we'll leave late tomorrow and have to spend another night in the open."

Joe looked around. "Well, then I'll take care of the fire. That won't be so exhausting, as if I have to hunt any animals." He looked at his brother pleadingly. "You're coming back with something proper? Not only with some of those plants and berries again?"

With a slight laugh, Adam went in search for supper. "I'll see what I can do."

Later they sat around the campfire and Joe stretched out his legs. He never suspected that a gopher would taste so good. It wasn't much, but after the supper of the past two days it had been a delight. Adam sat opposite him, leaning against a stone and looked into the fire. It's been three years his brother was back home now, but Joe remembered him somehow differently. In his memory Adam was someone who always had an answer to everything and almost never was angry with him. If there had been trouble, he had always been there and had helped him, but now it was different. Joe couldn't exactely explain why that was. Now he found it somehow easier to speak to Hoss about his problems. He remembered so well how it was when his mother had died, and Adam took care of them. Although it was a sad time, it was the best time he had spent with him.

„Adam?"

„Mmh?"

"Was my mum really like me? I can only remember her laugh, but not as she was otherwise."

Somewhat surprised how Joe got to this subject, Adam wondered what he could tell him about Marie. "Yes, she laughed a lot. Especially when eating we always had a lot of fun together, and she could never sit quiet at the table for a long time, which of course Pa commented accordingly. Just as you she was stuck full of spontaneous ideas, but unlike you, she has usually thought beforehand about what she was doing."

Except for that one time, but that he didn't say. He smiled at him. "That's why I hope that you also learn that."

Joe tried to remember his mother's face, but over the years he found it more and more difficult. If it wasn't for there being a photo on his father's desk, he would have already forgotten it. Then he thought of something else that he had never understood. "Adam ... why did you never call her Mum?"

Adam looked through the fire to his brother. "You don't even call Emillia Mum! Didn't you love my mother dearly, and Mum as well?"

Adam closed his eyes. There were hundreds of things that his brother could have asked, so why did he have to pick this topic?

"But I did, and I like Emillia, too."

"But?"

"But what?"

"Well, why don't you call them Mum then?"

What should he tell his brother now? How could he tell him something that he himself didn't quite understand? "Joe, I'm just too old for that, to call Emillia Mum. She's just thirteen years older than me."

Joe thought for a moment. "But when Pa married my mother, you were just a bit older than I was with Emillia."

Adam threw a small stone aside. "Joe, isn't it enough, when I assure you that I have liked your mother very much?"

"You don't have to be angry with me! I just wanted to understand."

Offended Joe crossed his arms and looked into the flames. With a very quiet voice Adam gave him an answer. "Joe, just because I didn't call her Mum, it doesn't mean that she wasn't my mother, and it's just the same with Emillia. I ask you to just believe it that way."

"Seems I have to." Joe stood up. "I think I'm going to sleep now."

Adam stood up, too. "Joe ..."

"It's all right, Adam."

Joe picked up his blanket and spread it out. Since there was no point continuing to talk to Joe, Adam wanted to get his place ready for the night, when he froze in his movement. Joe, who saw that something was wrong, got to his side. "What happened?"

He followed the view of his brother and burst out laughing. "Adam, not only do you always have to share your sleeping place with Rusty, now you even take a snake to bed."

With his eyes still on the snake that was curled up on his blanket, he only spoke in whispers. "Joe, can you please take it off my blanket?"

Joe was still laughing. "Why don't you do it yourself? It's harmless."

"Joe, ... please ..."

Joe bent down, picked up the snake and turned with it to Adam to hold it at his face. Involuntarily Adam backed away. "Joe, leave it be!"

His brother was taken aback. "You're actually afraid of the snake."

"I'm not afraid, I simply don't like them."

"No, you're scared, and I don't understand ..." Joe's attitude and voice reflected how shocked he was. "... you wear this odd chain but have fear of snakes. Anyway you get quite a bit afraid since you got back from Boston. Before Boston you wouldn't have gotten insulted as Mitch has done. You wouldn't have hesitated to defend the honor of our family, and Greg told me you were even too cowardly to defend yourself in the saloon. That's why you've gotten beaten up so badly."

"Joe, that's not true, and concerning Mitch I tried to explain to you."

"To me, this was just an excuse. Greg mentioned his father had told him you used to be as cold as ice, and when someone only looked wrongly at you, you would have finished him off. You were a fast draw and now? ..." He held up the snake. "... now you don't even dare take a harmless snake from your blanket."

"Joe, ... take the snake away, and I'll explain it to you."

"No, you needn't. I'm going to take the snake away and then go to sleep. I'm tired."

With a very grumpy and disappointed face Joe walked away. When he came back, Adam went to hold him by the arm, but Joe shook his hand off. "Joe, please ..." 

"I told you, I'm tired."

Joe laid down at his place and turned his back on his brother, who still stood there for a while with his head down. The next morning, Adam tried again to talk to Joe, but he refused all his attempts. So they continued their way silently.

As scheduled they arrived in Nevada City in the late afternoon. Without much difficulty they found a livery stable to stable their horses. On the way to the hotel Little Joe couldn't stop being amazed. Open-mouthed, he followed Adam. His head moved from left to right. Several times he winced as someone was just shooting in the air in the street. He jumped a step forward, when a man came stumbling out of a door with flailing arms.

"Hi, guys! You two look very hungry. Won't you come on in? We can satisfy your appetites for sure."

Joe looked ahead again. In front of them stood a young woman looking at them smiling.

"No thanks, we're not hungry."

Adam wanted to go on when Joe held him by the arm. "Of course we're hungry. You promised me that we get something to eat."

The woman grinned at Adam, who rolled his eyes. "Joe, this food here you can't even cope with."

Blankly Little Joe looked at him and was stunned when his brother simply went on. With quick steps he caught up with Adam. "Why shouldn't I cope with it? Do they eat something different than at home?"

"Joe, ..." Adam stopped for a moment. "... I'm tired and hungry just like you. I finally want to go to the hotel and get out of these clothes. So, the faster you come with me, the sooner we can get something to eat."

Grumbling, he followed his brother. But first he turned around again and saw the woman waving at him. The next time he was flabbergasted, was when they stood in front of the hotel. If he had thought that the hotel in Virginia City was big, he knew now what "big" meant. As they stood at the front desk, his gaze went through the entrance area. He was sure that the hotel in Virginia City would fit in here three times. With his back turned to the front desk, Joe continued to watch the bustle in the lobby, as Adam registered in.

"Hello. My name is Cartwright. A room for my brother and me ought to be reserved."

"Good day, Mr. Cartwright. We have been expecting you. Mr. Sundberg from the railway company has reserved the suite for you."

He took a letter from the key box and handed it to Adam. "Mr. Sundberg has ordered a table for you in the restaurant for tonight."

Thanking him Adam took the letter, signed the book and then took the key to the suite.

"I think you want to freshen up after your journey. I'll send someone to your suite immediately to prepare a bath."

"Mmm ..." Quickly Adam scanned the letter and then looked back at the man at the front desk. "That's nice. I would also like to ask that our clothes for tonight be ironed."

"Of course, Mr. Cartwright."

Adam nudged Joe and wanted to go, when he was again addressed. "Umm ... Mr. Cartwright ... "

The man looked over the counter at Rusty. "You don't want to take up that dog?"

Adam looked at his four-legged companion. "Yes."

"Umm, ... that won't do, Mr. Cartwright."

With expressionless face, Adam returned to the counter and put the key back down. "If you might have the kindness to inform Mr. Sundberg that we are staying at another hotel, and that he needn't reserve a room here in future?"

In a split second the man knew what it would mean for the hotel if they lost a guest as the railway company. "I think we can make an exception. But Mr. Cartwright, ..." He looked at Adam pleadingly. "... would you mind not to take the dog to the restaurant?"

"Of course it will stay at the room during this time."

XX

Joe stood in the middle of the suite and turned in a circle. "Adam, this is all for us?"

His brother put down his belongings. "Yes."

"If I tell Greg, he won't believe me."

"If the railway company didn't pay, we would live in a normal room and certainly not in this hotel."

Astonished Joe looked at him. "How come?"

"Joe, we're only here for three days. Then we will ride to Sacramento. We're unlikely to be in this room pretty often, so I ask you, why do we need such a large suite? Just so you can brag to Greg?"

Joe threw his saddlebag on the sofa. "Adam, can't you just have fun? It's fantastic here."

"I don't define my fun by the size of a hotel room."

"Huh ...?"

Adam gave him a laundry bag. "Now please go to the bathroom and put your things in there, so I can put it in the laundry. And put out your shirt and your pants that you will wear tonight."

Joe looked down at his feet. "I haven't packed any other pants and only taken a normal shirt."

With his hand Adam kept his eyes shut and took a deep breath. "Didn't I ask you to pack your good shirt and a pair of pants?"

With innocent eyes Joe looked at him from below. "I might have forgotten that."

There was a knock at the door, and Adam opened with a slightly annoyed look at his brother. "Good day, Sir. I want to prepare the bath and pick up a few things."

"Yes, thank you. I'll immediately give you my clothes. Would you please get a shirt and pants for my brother?"

"Yes, Sir."

The hotel boy went into the bathroom and Adam turned to his brother. "Little Joe, that's something I cannot stand. When I have to make others work because of your forgetfulness. I don't like this whole fuss made here anyway."

Joe noticed by his brother's reaction how angry he was about the whole situation. "Sorry Adam. Next time I'll remember that."

With a quick glance at the ceiling Adam tried to find his inner balance. "Joe, I've got to apologize to you. I forgot that you're only thirteen, and that this is your first big trip, where you had to think of much alone." He kindly smiled at him. "Now, get into the bathroom, so that we both are ready for supper in time."

Joe looked at him askance. "Can't I just eat here in the room? You'll surely only talk about stations anyway."

Adam grabbed Joe's shoulder. "Joe, I'd like to have you with me. I want to spend as much time as possible with you, and I promise, if you get bored after dinner, you can go to your room."

Before Little Joe disappeared into the bathroom, he turned back to Adam. "Can we take a closer look at the city tomorrow on your birthday?"

"Tomorrow, when we come back from the future construction site, we could do that."

Less than three hours later, Joe was sitting with his brother and Mr. Sundberg at dinner. In the beginning he had followed their conversation with interest, but with time he understood almost nothing of what they were talking about. Actually he was much too tired, too. At some point Adam put his hand on his arm. "Joe, go upstairs. I'll follow later. And if you fall asleep quickly, we can get out early to the construction site tomorrow. Then we'll have plenty of time for us in the afternoon."

Adam hadn't finished the sentence before Joe was already up, said goodbye and went upstairs to their suite. Even Rusty seemed to be done by their trip. She was briefly delighted that Joe was back, and then ran back to the fireplace and curled up to sleep. Little Joe watched out the window, looking at the chaos in the street. He gladly would also be down there to get a closer look, but he wanted to have no trouble with Adam. Although the journey so far hadn't been the way he had expected, he knew that if Adam had promised him to check out the city tomorrow they just would just do that. So he laid down in his bed and was sound asleep within minutes.

The next morning was just as exciting as the evening before. Adam, Mr Sundberg and he stood in the middle of nowhere. Joe couldn't imagine that within a few years a large station should be here. He couldn't even imagine that a railway would ever lead here. He played with Rusty, but even that was getting quite boring over time. Why couldn't he have stayed in the city? He would certainly have had more fun. This wasn't the way he had imagined Adam's birthday to be. He knew that Adam - for whatever reason - never had a big celebration, but he had never experienced such a boring day as this before. Whatever had happened in Boston, it had turned his brother into an absolute bore.

"Joe?"

Adam waved him over. "We will all have lunch with Mr. Kruger from the measurement office, and then go back to the hotel."

Joe rolled his eyes and groaned loudly. "So if you had told me that you're just talking here, I wouldn't have come with you."

"Joe, you knew that I had business to do here, and if you just didn't complain about anything and everything all the time, then we could also enjoy the time that we spend together, but I just get the impression that no matter what I do, you have only complaints in mind."

"Yes, but we used to have more fun together."

"I've already tried to tell you, you're not five any more and I'm not sixteen. What do you expect from me? That we play hide and seek? Or we cross the Sierra without purpose or thought? If so, then I must disappoint you. That won't do. I'm responsible for you, and I wanted to use this trip to prepare you for what I've planned with you next year. Namely I had intended to take you with me more often next year, as Hoss will have more to work on the farm after the wedding. But to work with me, you've got to be familiar with the basics of ranch work. This also means I have to rely on you. I can't give you no gun, if you only see the fun in everything, not even let you spend the night outside, if you can't make a campfire, let alone find a suitable place to sleep. For years, Ive been trying to explain to you how important it is that you need to be aware of the consequences of your actions ... " Adam knew he had to go for a few days on his mountain, to come back to rest when he was back home. "... but as it looks like you're not ready, because you either cannot nor you don't want to. We will now go to Mr. Kruger's home, and I expect that you will behave well. Then I'll see if we can still go into the city."

Joe looked at his brother, as he went to his horse. Head down, he followed him. All the time at dinner he thought about Adam's words and much to his regret he had to admit it. He had thought of spending the time together like before, but he just never thought of all the things Adam thought of. He would have simply ridden off and without worrying whether it could rain, where to find water and where to sleep. He had seen the whole thing as a big adventure. Almost all the time he had only criticized his brother and considered him to be overly cautious. So Joe planned to listen better to Adam for the rest of the trip. When his brother was the same as he's always been, he was already no longer mad at him after lunch.

And Joe was right. After dinner, Adam apologized to him for the harsh tone, but not for the content, and Joe promised in future to mind more to what Adam told him. So they both spent a nice afternoon in the city and walked slowly back to the hotel.

"There are my two hungry men again."

With a smile she came down the steps and remained standing such that Adam hadn't to lift his head to see her cleavage. "What about today? Do you want to take a look at my menu now?"

Again Joe didn't understand why Adam declined the offer with thanks. "Adam why can't we go here for dinner tonight? They must also have something that I can cope with. It's your birthday, so we can still do something special."

"Oh, it's your birthday ..." She grinned at Adam. "... so there would be a very special menu for you."

"You hear, Adam. Isn't that nice?"

He grabbed Joe by the arm as last time, and went along with him. "Adam, let go of me. What did you do that? Why are you so rude to her?"

Adam paused, first crossed his arms to let them drop at last in resignation. "Joe, how many restaurants do you know where you will be asked on the street to go eating there?"

Joe thought briefly, but then shrugged. "I've never paid attention. Couldn't it be that it's common here?"

"No Joe, it's not common here, too."

Joe looked back at the woman who followed their talk with a grin. "But what does she want from us?"

Adam closed his eyes, then leaned over to Little Joe and whispered something in his ear. With every word he blushed more. When Adam ended, he stood with his arms crossed in front of Joe. "And, you still want to go eating there?"

Blushing, he looked back at the building and the woman whose grin was now even greater. He quickly looked back at Adam, who grinned no less. "Can we go to the hotel now, Joe?"

He ran after Adam, but looked back again and again. "Uhm, ... Adam, but that thing with the menu I still don't understand. Can you eat something there anyway? And if so, how should you look at it? She had no menu in her hands."

Without looking at his brother, Adam answered him. "Oh, believe me, this menu I've seen very clearly in front of me."

"Really, where?"

"Joe ... change in topic."

With a final glance over the shoulder, they reached the hotel.

XXX

Joe lay on the bed and was bored. Of all the sights of the afternoon he was so excited that there was no question of sleep. He and Adam had had dinner together. About an hour ago Adam had told him that he had an appointment and couldn't say when he might be back.

Joe glanced at the clock. It was just after ten. From the street he could hear the noise of the saloons. He stood up and walked to the window and looked out. How he would have liked to know what the saloon looked like inside. Today Adam had just laughed, as he had asked him if they could go inside. Then he remembered that next to the building with the woman there was a saloon. Maybe he could just sneak in there and see what there was going on. With a little luck there might be a connection between the two buildings, so he could even get to see one or the other. If he then told Greg he would surely go green with envy. Fully convinced of his good idea Joe dressed and left the suite.

For quite a while he looked from the street over to the saloon. Also to the outbuilding he looked now and again, but the woman wasn't to be seen. He would have liked to see her again as she had looked quite nice. Then he finally had the courage to go over. He pulled his hat lower down his face and entered the saloon. He was shocked at how loud it was and how many people were there. Again he didn't know where to look first. In one corner some guys played cards, in the other danced some girls on the tables and next to him two men were arguing who should pay the next drink. Slowly Joe moved into the corner of the dancing girls. To get a better view, he pushed his hat a little higher. With big eyes and a slight grin he watched them. Just when he wanted to get a step closer, he was grabbed by the collar from behind.

"I think you got lost, you little brat."

Joe tried to free himself from the grip of the man who was almost as tall as Hoss. "Let me go. You're hurting me."

"This is a good thing, so you note that you've got no business here."

Joe tried to kick him with his feet, which elicited just a weary smile from the guy. "When you have become a man, you can come back."

Little Joe was so roughly thrown out of the saloon that he landed on his belly on the street. Not only the people around laughed at him, but the guy who had pushed him there. "Come on, you brat. Run home, your mom has already warmed your baby bottle."

Slowly Little Joe got up and brushed the dust from his clothes. Somehow crestfallen he ran a few yards back towards the hotel when he was addressed by another boy of his age. "You can be lucky that Crushbone Paul didn't bump you off." He shook his head. "How can anyone be so stupid to go through the front door, or don't your bones matter? If you want to see the girls, you have to go through the small alley and then climb through the basement window."

A little to harshly Joe snarled at the boy. "How should I know that? I've only been here since yesterday."

"What? And you have the courage to sneak in there? "

He laughed. "I'm Jörn."

"Joe."

"Come on, I'll show you from where you can have a real good look."

They ran through two small alleys until they were behind the saloon. Jörn stood beside him and whispered to him. "Well, the saloon is something for beginners, if you want to see real girls, then we have to go to Fanny. But even there Crushbone Paul is the bouncer. If he catches you for the second time today, you can say goodbye to your fingers."

Jörn looked at him. "Do you want to risk it?"

Of course he said yes. He wanted to have something he could tell Greg, and he had certainly not seen that. They sneaked through the small courtyard to the basement window. Carefully Jörn fished with a long wire through an opening in order to slide the latch aside. Joe flinched when Jörn was suddenly snatched up. "Didn't I tell you scoundrel, if I catch you even once, you'll never write another letter to your mom?"

"Put me down, you ruffian."

"Yes, I will let you down."

He put Jörn to his feet and then punched him in the face. Open-mouthed Joe watched, what was happening in front of him. Jörn fell to the ground and Crushbone Paul bent over laughing and pulled Jörn's arm slightly away from his body.

"And now, you brat, say goodbye to your fingers."

The hulking guy raised his foot and Joe knew immediately what he was about to do to Jörn. Without a second thought, he ran off with a loud cry and pounced on Crushbone Paul. Though he turned his head, he couldn't prevent loosing his balance. Shocked Paul scrambled to his feet again and looked at Joe. In the meantime Jörn had regained consciousness and was quickly on his feet and ran.

"You're the brat, I've thrown out of the saloon beforehand. Ain't you quite right in the head?

With a quick swipe of his hand he grabbed Joe by the neck and pushed him against the wall. "You should have run for your mom, like I told you. So now you're just going to visit the angels tonight."

Laughing aloud he throttled Joe's throat. Joe tried tooth and nail to free himself from the grip. Fighting he knocked over some barrels, which rattled loudly along the yard.

"Paul, let go of him at once!"

At the door stood the young woman for whom Joe had just been watching in vain. Paul released the pressure from Joe's neck, but didn't let go. "Yvette, why do you interfere? Do you have nothing to do?"

"You let go of the boy right now."

Again Paul's filthy laugh could be heard. "Don't you tell me the boy's one of your regulars?"

She took a step toward him. Her voice was low and threatening. "You know exactly what's going to happen if Fanny learns that you again broke the bones of another kid."

"Are you threatening me?"

Paul reached out with his hand, but before he could strike, a familiar voice said, "I wouldn't do that. If you won't take your hand from the neck of my brother, you're a dead man."

A wave of relief went through Little Joe when he saw his brother. "Is there a meeting in the yard today? Get lost if you want to stay out of trouble."

With a small movement of his head Adam made Yvette understand that she should get out of the way. "I don't like to repeat myself. Take your hands off of my brother."

Paul looked at Joe and then back to Adam. "What do you think, who you are? Do you think you can have a go at me?"

He took the hand off Joe's neck and turned to Adam. "No one interfering with my job goes unpunished."

The moment the pressure subsided from his neck, Joe went to his knees, trying to get air. But then he saw how Paul and Adam faced each other and his legs would surely have given in, if he hadn't already been kneeling on the ground. Adam couldn't be serious about to face a paid gunslinger! Anxiously he watched his brother and held his breath as Paul's hand slowly slid to the holster. Although some light fell from the back door into the yard, it wasn't enough that Joe could see, where Adam's hand was. The drawing of Paul's gun and the following bang had gone so fast for Joe's eyes and ears, that he didn't realise what happened until Paul fell to the ground before him. Instinctively, Joe pressed himself closer to the wall and then ... he slowly turned his head in the direction where Adam had been. Then he jumped to his feet, ran to his brother and threw himself into his arms.

"Adam, I'm sorry!"

Adam pushed him aside, went to Paul and crouched down to see if he was still alive. He bit into his fist when he realized that any help was too late for the bouncer. "Is he dead, Adam?"

Joe took one step closer and looked at the man on the ground. "Yes Joe, he's dead."

Slowly his brother stood up and looked at him angrily. "Joe, what are you doing here anyway? Why aren't you at the hotel?"

Joe dropped his head. He couldn't look at Adam. He knew perfectly well that if he had listened to him, this wouldn't have happened. "I ... I couldn't sleep and then ... then …. thought ..." His voice grew quiet. "... I ... I ... could I ... watch a saloon."

Even Adam's voice was very quiet, but with a very angry undertone. "Joe, this man wouldn't have died if you had thought about what you were doing. Didn't we have a talk about this only this afternoon?"

Then he yelled at him. "Is someday something going to stay a little longer than a few minutes in your brain?"

Yvette put her hand on his arm. "Adam, he's still a kid, and sooner or later it would have happened anyway."

He still looked at Joe. "But that's no excuse that my brother didn't think again what he might cause with his actions. If I hadn't been here, he'd be dead."

Joe's head snapped up. He hadn't considered that. He, too, might have been lying dead in the yard. Adam wasn't angry about the fact that he eventually could have lost the duel, but that he would have to bring him home in a hearse. With tears in his eyes, he looked at his big brother.

"Joe, what am I doing with you?" He spread his arms. "Come here."

Adam took Joe in his arm and held him tight. Then he talked softly to him. "Joe, I don't want to lose you either. Please ... please, learn at last, to think first and then to act."

Joe broke the embrace, and with the back of his hand he wiped away the tears. "I will, Adam. Promise. In future I'll try to think first."

With a serious expression Adam looked at him. "I hope so, Joe. I really hope so."

Then Adam took a deep breath and looked again at Paul on the ground. "We have to inform the Sheriff."

Joe's eyes widened again. "Do we?"

"Of course. I've shot a man. I cannot just go to the hotel and leave him here."

Little Joe nodded. "Well, wait a moment, I'm just going to quickly get my things."

Astonished Joe looked at him. Only now he realized that his brother wore no jacket and no shirt. He looked at the open door, then back at Adam and Yvette to quickly direct his look back to the ground.

With a grin Yvette watched the two brothers. "You can wait here. I'm going to bring your things."

"Thank you."

Very quietly muttered Joe to himself. "I'm sure if Pa knew this he would roar like a bull."

Adam crossed his arms. "Then he would also want to know how you know all that."

Startled Little Joe looked at him. "Do we have to talk about your birthday at home?"

"But we cannot lie as well."

Despite the darkness, Adam could see how Joe got pale. Adam cocked his head and scratched his temple. "But I think we can say that we were both in a special restaurant, and while I studied the menu, you have realized that you're not a little boy anymore. Can you live with that statement?"

Joe nodded slowly. "I guess so, …. although ... this thing about the menu I still don't really understand."

Adam put his arm around Joe's shoulder. "We still have a few days left until we go back to the Ponderosa. I think by then I'll have explained it to you."

XX

Less than ten days later, Joe was back in his bed at the ranch and thought about the trip. What at the beginning looked like a bad decision for him, to accompany his brother, turned out after half of the journey as the best time, he had ever spent with Adam. After they had made their statement to the sheriff, they could leave for Sacramento only one day later. This time he wasn't bored when Adam talked to the people of the railway company, but he was trying to understand how his brother negotiated and talked with them.

On the way home, he tried to implement everything that Adam had taught him. When his brother then told him why he didn't like snakes, Adam wasn't a coward any more in his eyes, but very brave that he had just chosen a snake as his guardian spirit. With a broad grin Joe had then told him that it was exactly what he always had told him from an early age. That one has to face his fears. Adam had agreed with him, although Little Joe was surprised that his brother looked a little sad.


	58. Chapter 58

"Adam?"

Hoss entered the house and looked for his brother. "I'm back here."

Hoss walked through the dining room out to Adam, who was sitting there with his guitar. "Come on, sit down."

Hoss sat down on the other side of the table and looked at the mountains. Adam watched him for a while from the side. "Hoss, what's wrong? You're not getting cold feet? Now, just before the wedding?"

His brother kept looking at the mountains and didn't answer. "Hoss? ... "

"Yes ... I meant, of course, no. But ... Adam, shouldn't I still have waited?"

"Wait on what, Hoss?"

"I don't know, it's just come so quickly."

Adam got up and got a bottle of whiskey and two glasses out of his house. "You've got cold feet, brother."

Hoss blushed. "I just don't know what's to come after Saturday."

Adam couldn't help laughing. "Hoss, what should change? You're already with her every day. Day after tomorrow you will just take your last things and then spend the nights there. So what are you afraid of?"

With kneading hands and eyes on his knees, Hoss tried softly to find the right words. "I don't know what she expects of me on Saturday night?"

Adam choked on his whiskey. His brother couldn't expect that he of all people would answer him. "Hoss, ..." Embarrassed, he scratched his neck. "... Maybe you would prefer to talk to Pa about it ... you know why."

Hoss looked at him shocked. "With Pa? Certainly not."

Adam leaned back and closed his eyes. What should he tell his brother now? It wasn't like Hoss didn't know what awaited him, but the way it looked, he wanted to know how to behave. Without opening his eyes, he took a deep breath. He couldn't talk with Hoss about it without having in his mind what had happened between him and Koko the night before Sophie's birth. "Hoss, ... don't think too much about it, ... simply let it happen. Everything else will come on its own accord."

He wouldn't look at his brother until he picked a different topic and if this lasted until morning. "Thank you, Adam. I knew that I could talk to you about it."

Hoss picked up the bottle and poured them both another glass. Slowly he drank sip by sip his whiskey, looking at the mountains. "Big Brother, I'll never understand what fascinates you on the mountains so that you even have aligned your house with them."

Adam opened his eyes and looked to the mountains, which glowed red in the last rays of sunshine. "I can find myself there, Hoss. I know it's hard to understand, but when I'm there on my mountain ... I can just be like I am."

"Why don't you manage it when you're down here?"

"Up there, there is only me and nature. No one who tells me how I should be, and ..." The next words he spoke very quietly, but Hoss understood every word. "... I needn't be afraid of my feelings."

"It's because of Pa, isn't it? And about what he expects from you."

"Thus, it certainly has to do with."

"Adam, ... I may be wrong, but I have the impression that Pa has exactly the same problem with Sarah as he had had with you."

His brother sat up straight and looked at him. "What makes you think that?"

"Didn't you notice? How often does he scold her when she's talking to you? Rather than seeing how well she already speaks and in two languages. He hardly lets her finish speaking when she wants to tell him something or he's annoyed when she asks too many questions. ... Adam, while you were gone with Joe, she came home and proudly wanted to show him what new things she had learned in the village. He didn't let her tell him and has threatened her that she'll no longer be allowed to go to the village, if she ever talked to him again in the language of Gosiute."

Hoss saw his brother holding his breath, and when almost no emotion could be seen on Adam, except how shocked he was. "If Pa was concerned about the Gosiute, he wouldn't have allowed you back then to take me to Koko, and he wouldn't like to see that I marry her. So I think his problem is another, which is why he is so angry with her. ... Pa and Emillia also have really quarreled for the first time."

Adam turned back to the mountains and in his head ran the images of the past few years. He hadn't realized how good he actually was able to talk with Sarah, and how she soaked up everything he told her. If he thought about it, some thoughts she had, were very familiar to him. Was his father about to make the same mistake again? "I think I will speak with Pa about it at a suitable moment."

Hoss laughed out loud, and Adam looked at him a little surprised. "Our little sister is a sly dog. When I recently tried to talk to her about it to comfort her, she grinned at me and told me that Pa had forbidden her to speak the language of Gosiute. Therefore, she would now have the children teach her the sign language of the Indians in order to talk with you. I can see already the face of Pa in front of me, when you two are doing that."

Even Adam laughed now. "I'm sure if I didn't live here already, that would be the date on which he'd throw me out of the house."

Hoss became serious again. "Adam, I won't be on the Ponderosa so often soon, ... you'll have an eye on our little cookie? She shouldn't be ignored the way you were just because Pa doesn't understand her."

"Promise, Hoss."

"Adam ...?"

Adam's eyes wandered to the right. From the corner of his eye he watched Hoss. He felt something would come that Hoss had thought about long before he had the courage to ask. "Hmmm ..?"

"You know I've always thought you loved Koko. But as we were talking about us, Koko told me, that there's someone else you love. But I never see you going out more than one time with the same girl. Does it have anything to do with what you said before? That you are afraid of your feelings?"

He closed his eyes. Pushed all his useless thoughts aside, controlled his breathing to only hear his own heartbeat. Whenever he thought of the day of the wedding, he felt somehow uneasy. He had already noticed that at Tom's wedding. At that time he blamed it on his physical condition due to the brawl, but this time he had no excuse. He found it so hard to show his pleasure at the event, as at the same time his heart cried out in pain and envy. His attempt to push the feelings he had for Bridget in a different corner of his heart, to make room for someone new, he had soon to admit to be a failure. It never lasted long, when he was with a girl, that he had the face of Bridget in his mind and the feeling that he was cheating on her. How often he has written a letter to her, but he never made it to the post office. He had seriously thought to just ride to Beardstown to visit her, but in the end courage had left him again. On Saturday his heart would be torn apart again. How often he had wished that it would break at last and he could start over?

"Hoss, you're only marrying. The way you're talking tonight, I get the feeling you think you're leaving us."

"But it feels just like that, Adam. It's as if my old life ends on Saturday and a new one starts."

Adam smiled at him. "What did I tell you? It won't change, only that you'll live on the farm. We all will still be there."

"You're still doing it, big brother. You avoid questions about you."

"It's your big day, not mine. Therefore, we shouldn't talk about me."

"So you'll come alone on Saturday?"

Adam chuckled. "My companion for such occasions has got a date that day. But if you insist that I bring someone I can talk to her and see if she can't decline this guy's invitation."

Adam was sure that Hoss' loud laughter could be heard on the Ponderosa as well. "Try it, little brother, see what you can do."

Again they gazed for some time to the mountains, which now lay in the dark. "Did you see it, Adam?"

"What should I have seen?"

"The shooting star."

Adam stretched out his legs and crossed his arms behind his head. Then he remembered all of a sudden what had happened when he had talked about shooting stars the last time. He could be happy that she had forgiven him his behavior at that time and hadn't laughed at him when he told her again of the wrong wolf in himself. How gladly he would believe in the power of shooting stars, he would know instantly what to wish, but unfortunately it wouldn't be like in the book of Shakespeare, which he had just read.

 _With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls; For stony limits cannot hold love out, And what love can do, that dares love attempt._

Much of what Shakespeare wrote, related to him. Even his futile attempt to forget her.

 _Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow_ _as seek to quench the fire of love with words._

"Adam, you should wish something nice, but by your look I'm not sure whether I'd like to know what it is."

Adam turned his head to him. "Sorry, Hoss. My thoughts just grow legs sometimes."

"Shall I tell you what I wished for?"

His big brother grinned at him. "Then it won't come true."

"If I don't tell you, it will certainly not come true ... I wished that you finally manage to get rid of this wall."

"I'm working on it, Hoss."

He looked at Adam doubtfully. "Are you really doing that, or are you looking for excuses as usual to not seriously work up to it?"

He could feel his heartbeat accelerated again. His hand went to the snake and the view to the mountains. How far had he really come since his vision quest? Yes, he had read her letters, but despite the longing growing for her again, nothing had changed. He was still looking for the right way to cope with his feelings. With a jerk, he stood up and walked a few steps forward. Not only Hoss was startled by his reaction, even Rusty had jumped up and stood with ears pricked behind him.

„Adam? ..."

His brother turned around and looked at him. "Hoss, would you do me a favor?"

Slowly Hoss stood up. "Of course."

"Wait a minute."

Adam went into the house, returned after a short time and handed a letter to Hoss. "You would help me very much if you could take it to the post office tomorrow."

Hoss looked at the letter in his hand and to whom it was addressed. The name of Francois was somehow familiar to him, but he had actually thought that Frederic's wife had a different first name. "I thought you wanted to go to town tomorrow. Have you changed your plans?"

Adam exhaled deeply. " No, I haven't. But you would help me a lot with my first serious step into MY new life."

While Hoss didn't understand what the letter had to do with Adam's wall, he stuck it in his pocket, and with a brief touch on Adam's shoulder he said goodbye and went home.

XX

Adam and Hoss were on the farm and watched with a broad grin as Amarok led Koko down the aisle. It had been Koko's wish, that her father took her down the aisle to the tradition of the Whites to hand over her hand to Hoss. Adam leaned slightly over to his brother. "We can still swap."

"Forget it!"

With a hidden punch in the side Hoss reiterated his statement. When Adam stood next to Koko during the ceremony, his mind wandered again. Why he had to think of Frederic at Koko's wedding, he couldn't explain. He couldn't help to grin slightly as he thought of how infantile it was that he had looked at Bridget at the wedding vows of Frederic and Giovanna and had said 'Yes' to her in his thoughts. He closed his eyes and his smile disappeared.

Leaning against the fence of the paddock, Adam looked at the colorful wedding party. Since the Gosiute didn't celebrate a wedding in a great style, there was only a celebration on the farm, and so among the guests were friends of the family and a large number of Indians. Adam knew very well that this was a very unusual sight, and it would certainly take a long time until a marriage between Indians and Whites would belong to normality. Little Joe also told him that he currently had to endure increasing teasing at school because of Hoss. He looked just at Hoss and Koko, who danced smiling when someone tugged at his pants leg. With a friendly smile he took his little sister on his arm. "Little sunshine, what are you doing here? I thought you wanted to play with the other children from the village."

She ran her fingers from his left eye over the cheek to his mouth. "You smile ... but your eyes are sad." She wandered with her fingers again to his eyes. "I'm afraid when your eyes don't laugh."

Adam squeezed Sarah a little tighter. "Winona, you needn't be afraid. I'm fine."

He let her down again. "What do you think about you going back to the other children and take Rusty along with you?"

She looked at him again more closely, then grabbed Rusty and ran off, but not for the other children. She searched among the guests for her father. She found him at last on the back of the farm. "Pa ..?"

Ben interrupted his conversation and turned to her. "What's the matter, Sarah? Can't you see that I'm having a talk?"

Sarah swallowed. She noticed immediately that her father wasn't thrilled that she had just interrupted him, but it was important. "Pa, ... I have to ... I mean ... I ..."

"Sarah, if you have to go to the ... john, then go looking for your mother. She will help you."

„Pa ..!"

He turned his daughter at the shoulder and gave her a pat. "Go and find your mother."

Ben turned back to his conversation and with drooping shoulders his daughter went back. Then she bent down and patted Rusty's neck. "I'm glad that you and Wynono are there. You always listen."

"Sarah, is everything fine with you?"

Sarah watched her mother and shrugged. Emillia crouched beside her daughter. "What happened, dear?"

"Wynono is sad and Pa doesn't comfort him."

She took Sarah's hand and ran her other hand over her cheek. "Nothing bad will have happened. Where is your brother?"

Sarah pointed towards the paddock. Her mother stood up and stroked her daughter's hair. "Then I'll go to Adam, but I'm sure you've nothing to worry about."

Sarah nodded and snuggled again with Rusty. Emillia didn't have to look far. Adam was still at the fence. "You'll tell me, where you are with your thoughts? Then I can reassure your sister and tell her that everything is fine with you."

He laughed a little. "Was she with you?"

"I guess she was first with your father, but he didn't understand her once again."

With crossed arms he looked at the farm and just thought ... 'as so often' ..., "I'm just a little tired."

"You're a bad liar."

He didn't answer, so she stood in front of him. With her finger she tapped his chest. "You're thinking about her. It could already be seen at the wedding." He ran his hand over his forehead, but he didn't answer her. "Adam, although I don't know who she is, I suspect she's someone you met in Boston."

Adam looked over her when she put her hand on his arm. "Don't make the same mistake I made." Inquiring Adam looked at her. "Have you ever wondered how my life looked before I met your father?"

When he put his hands in his pockets, he shook his head. "I thought, you'll have your reasons why you don't talk about it."

She stood beside him to the fence. "My mother died when I was just sixteen. Since my father died shortly after I was born, I was picked up by a neighboring family, and what I then experienced during the two years, has led me to the decision to never allow a man to get closer to me. I left the family and started a new life in New York. I became a nurse and plunged into work. For years I refused any date with a man. I hadn't the courage to allow it, although I've always wanted to have children. Then I met Doc Martin who was on a visit to New York. He saw how I continuously withdrew myself and gave me the opportunity to work with him in Virginia City, to take my mind off things. And what can I say, it was the best decision I've made in my life."

She paused and looked at Ben, who went to the table with the drinks this very moment. "Even if your father is very often grumpy and noisy, there is this compassionate and very loving side in him, which has quickly managed to gain my trust, and I'm so grateful to him. He has given my life meaning again, and I noticed how lonely I was before." She smiled at Adam. "My wish has been fulfilled. I got two beautiful daughters, and even if already a bit older, three sons, of whom I'm very proud."

She tapped again to his heart. "You lock your heart, as I've done. But believe me, it's also worth taking a risk, otherwise you'll break every day a little more, and that would be a pity, because you're such a wonderful person, Adam."

"But it's so hard, Emillia. I don't know where to start." Before he went on, he put his head back and looked up into the clouds. "I don't think that it's enough if I admit to the feelings I have for her."

Emillia nodded. "What I've seen and experienced in recent years, confirms what I've already told you once. You haven't only missed a mother, there are also the difficulties that you have with your father. Only when you face this, you'll be able to open your heart again."

He leaned on the fence, so that his father was now to his back. "I had a mother, Emillia. I let her deep in my heart, and even loved her more than my father. I know she loved me too, as if I was her real son. In my mind there was always this picture how it would be when we have reached our destination. How it would be to sit down at the table with Mom and Pa and talk about the day. As my mother welcomes me when I come home from school ... " His gaze went into the distance. "... and then she lay before me with an arrow in her back ... in this moment my world collapsed. Everything in me cried out in pain, but my father had told me over the years, I had to swallow the pain sometimes. I should stop being so soft. So I tried. I tried to fight the pain, but it was so bad that I couldn't stand it. Then, when we buried her, it took all my courage. I didn't care what my father would say. I just wanted him to take me in his arms when I let out the pain, but at the same moment he looked at me and told me that I shouldn't cry. I should now be strong for the both of us. I should show him that his son was already a real man. ... It took days before I reasonably coped with the pain. I promised myself I will never again let someone in my heart this deeply ... " Adam watched Emillia. "That's why I never said Mum to you or Marie. Not because I didn't like you, but because I knew that if I experience this pain again, no one will be there for me once more. ... and that this wasn't unfounded, it has been confirmed after Marie's death. Not only that, I also couldn't admit my pain, I also had to be strong, as my father simply let me down."

"You have to talk about it with him, Adam. You both need to talk about your feelings. Yes, I know it's not easy, because you don't like to talk about it, even your father isn't just someone who's open-hearted."

He looked back to the paddock. "I doubt that he'll listen to me."

"You back down before you've even tried it."

Adam pounded his fist against the fence, then pointed with his hand towards Ben. "He hasn't changed. Not a mite. What he did to me, he does now to Sarah. I don't know what's different about Hoss, Joe and Sophie, but with the two of us he has no patience, and he doesn't bother to understand us."

"He tries, Adam. You've got to believe me, he tries. But he has a problem with the fact that Sarah can't answer a question simply with yes or no. If she wants to tell something about a flower, then she won't say only that it's a beautiful flower. She tries to describe what she has seen while picking the flower, and yes, with these long explanations he's got his problems."

"And I know his behavior exactly, and if he's not careful, she will at some point no longer talk to him, too."

She shook her head. "No, that won't happen. Because she's got you and me who are there for her, and I talk very often to your father about it. But just as you cannot open your heart all of a sudden, you cannot expect that he can change his behavior overnight."

She took his hand and placed it on his heart. "Talk to him, or you'll find no peace in your heart, and one day you'll leave us in the hope that you come to rest at another place, but the only thing you would accomplish is that you run away from yourself ..." She looked at him very caringly. "Even if you don't call me Mum, you're my son, and not just because I married your father, but because you have this place in my heart. If I lose you because you two don't have the courage to talk to each other, I will have to

live with the pain, which I wouldn't like to experience. And Adam, ... what would I tell your sister, when you just leave?"

He put his hands akimbo and looked at his father. Then he closed his eyes, bowed his head slightly and held his hand over his mouth. With a strong breath, he opened his eyes again. "But not today, Emillia."

Her expression hadn't changed. "But you'll do it?"

He nodded and slowly a smile returned on his face. "I cannot let it happen that my little sunshine loses her brother and ..." The smile reached his eyes. "... a mother her son."

XXX

Ben and Adam stood before the desk and examined again the papers for the cattle sale. "Are you sure you don't want me to join you this year? Since you're taking the cattle of Sam, the herd is quite large."

"Pa, I'll leave tomorrow without you, and with the few animals more we will be fine."

Ben was about to get to some other documents, as the door opened and Sarah rushed in.

"Pa, ...!"

Completely out of breath, she stood in front of the two men.

"Pa, ...!"

"What happened, Sarah?"

She looked at him a little surprised. "Nothing but …"

She tried to catch her breath. Adam stroked her head. "Did you run all the way from the farm to home?"

She shook her head. "No, ... I …"

"Sarah, now, tell me what's going on. Your brother and I have to discuss some more business."

"Pa, ... in the village, ... I mean, there where the water ..."

She was still so out of breath that she had to pause briefly causing Ben to have an annoyed look.

"Pa, ... they have horses ... not just black or ..."

"Sarah, please come to the point. I know that they have horses in the village. "

The excited look in Sarah's eyes slowly disappeared. "But the horses are important and ..."

Frustrated Ben threw the documents on the table. "Sarah, has something bad happened, or do you just want to tell me what you played in the village? If so, then I'll listen to you this evening. I don't have time right now."

With sad eyes his daughter looked at the floor. "I ... nothing bad, but I want to tell it now ... I .. "

Even Adam winced as Ben's voice became louder now. "I told you that you can tell me later. Adam has to go soon. I don't have time now. Go out and find your mother. You can tell her."

First Sarah looked over at Adam, then again briefly at her father, but then she turned quickly and ran out of the house. Adam's voice wasn't loud, when he spoke to his father, but it was clear to hear how this behavior had enraged him. "Why didn't you listen?"

Grimly Ben looked at Adam then. He hadn't looked at his son this way for a long time. "We do not have time for one of her long talks."

"I would have had the time."

"Yes, of course, my perfect son would have taken the time."

"You haven't to become cynical, Pa."

"Then stop constantly telling me how to deal with my daughter. Because you're just her brother. If you want to raise a child, then get one of your own." He slapped his hand against his forehead. "Oh, I forgot. For this you first have to commit yourself to a woman."

Adam was surprised that this remark of his father didn't immediately make him livid with rage. He realized just how tired he was of these discussions and disputes with him. So his voice was very unemotional. "Just why can't you accept me and Sarah the way we are? Why didn't you show this patience with us that you have with the others?"

"Come on Adam, stop telling me how bad your childhood was, and that I've never understood you. You know that isn't true, or do you seriously claim that I had never cared for you? That I haven't cared that you had always something to eat? Just because I didn't hold your hand every night, I'm not a bad father."

Adam leaned against the desk. "Pa, for many years I loved a woman, but for this very reason, because you have never understood me and my fears, I'm unable to be with her. I cannot change the past, but I can and will prevent Sarah to withdraw due to your ignorance and later she has to fight with it."

Quite puzzled and confused about the change of the very heated conversation, Ben looked at his son for a while speechless. He didn't shout at him as he found his tongue again. "You truly think, it's my fault that you cannot get married? Do you realize actually how ridiculous that sounds?"

He had no need to touch his chain to get courage for this talk. He had it already. Adam felt that today was the day on which it would decide whether the wall would be strengthened or whether he could bring it to waver. "For me, it's not ridiculous. For me it's difficult to live with the fact that you never gave me the feeling that you're satisfied with the way I am. That you haven't asked that I tell you about my fears and worries. That I couldn't show you when I was sad. But the worst for me was that you had the nerve to claim this right for you."

With his hands akimbo Ben starred at him. "What are you talking about, Adam? What's this nonsense?"

"It's no nonsense, Pa. Correct me if I'm misled by my memories. If you spoke to me of my mother, didn't you always say to me, I shouldn't be sad? She wouldn't have liked that ...?"

His father didn't answer. He didn't move, but looked at him in disbelief. Adam continued. "But you have mourned and suffered for her until you met Inger. Every year on my birthday you gave me the feeling that it wasn't a day for celebration. So that I started to hate that day, because I've seen what effort it cost you to be cheerful. Because I didn't understand what was wrong with you. I mustn't show that it made me sad. Otherwise I'd have been too soft in your eyes again.

When Inger died, I mustn't be sad again. I mustn't show you how great the pain in me was. That my really first true mother for me died before my very eyes. Strong men don't. But you could show your pain and your sadness towards the others. You searched and found solace from them, while I took care of Hoss. I was so desperate that I decided to never allow such a pain. No matter what would happen in my life. I said to myself, I will let no one get so close to me that this feeling can take possession of me again. Because it has scared me at that time. I didn't understand the meaning of this pain, because I wasn't a man. I was a little boy of six years.

And then came Marie, and although I didn't let her in my heart like Inger, something broke, as once again a loved one died before my eyes. And what did you do again, Pa? ... You didn't comfort me. Again, I had to accept that only you were allowed to mourn, while I had to be strong again. Then you just left to cope with your feelings and left me with mine on my own and now, Pa, ..." Adam took a few steps toward his father. "... I ask you, how can I allow that the woman I love so much, could take her place in my heart, if I don't know if I suffer the same fate, and I can't grow old with her? If she dies in my arms, and I'm not able to deal with the pain, because I never was allowed to? Because in my head not only all scenarios have run to how she could die, no, I saw it right in front of me, how you put your hand on my shoulder to tell me, I should finally pull myself together and don't be so soft. Finally, you have suffered this fate three times and you haven't been broken by it, and don't tell me that these thoughts are absurd, because that's my way of thinking. I just can't make a decision without going through all eventualities in my mind."

Adam took a very deep breath and tried to find his balance, to calm down. Then he looked his father in the eye and waited for a reaction. And with every tick of the grandfather clock Adam had the impression that his father slumped more in himself. Little by little Ben's numbness broke, but he wasn't able to say anything yet. So he went to his chair and let himself drop into it. He couldn't even look at Adam. In his head these words repeated and Ben tried to understand it. He had no idea how long he thought about it, but when he looked back at Adam, who hadn't moved an inch, he felt that the words of his son had deprived him of his strength. "Have I done everything wrong? Have I been such a bad father to you? Do you really think if you were to lose a loved one, I wouldn't comfort you?"

"You have to tell me if you can do it today. I don't know, but I doubt it. For I see that you don't grant Sarah the right to be just as she wants to be, for whatever reason. Curious and full of thirst for knowledge. In my case I can understand, why you had no patience. We were on a long trip, and you had your head full to see that we reach our destination so that your dream could come true. But now you've got time. Now you could get involved with Sarah. But you don't and later you'll be surprised, why she doesn't talk to you."

Again Ben couldn't find the right words. He had too much to think about first. His gaze returned to his boy. It was true. He had never treated Adam like Hoss and Joe. He had always expected him to be strong. But hadn't everybody told him repeatedly that actually Adam needed the most affection? But he had always dismissed the words of Inger, Marie, Aponi and Amarok. Even Emillia had told him once that Adam wasn't as strong as he pretended to be. Why had Adam to take everything so literally anyway? If he had told him earlier that he shouldn't be sad, or he shouldn't cry, he didn't mean that he mustn't at all.

"Adam, I ... I don't know what to say. I ... wanted …." Ben stood up and walked a few steps, then looked at his son with exhausted and terrified eyes. "... you're my son, Adam, and I love you but ... I ... I ... wasn't aware of what I've done to you with my thoughtless words."

Ben sat on the coffee table and covered his face with his hands. Before he went on, he looked up at Adam. "What has happened, I cannot undo. But I can try to help you now and promise you that I'll be there for you evermore. That I can help you if you don't get along with your feelings, I've shown you once before. I don't think that you have forgotten the day when the farmer was killed by the Kohuana."

Ben was still very pale. Adam's words had hit him too much. He got up again and stood right in front of his son. "Adam, please believe me when I tell you that I didn't want that. Forgive me that I didn't notice how much you have suffered by the death of Inger and Marie. Here and now I will certainly not find the right words to make what happened more bearable for you, but please give me a chance. Give us both a chance and the most important thing ... give yourself a chance. Don't allow that you cannot be happy because I was blind."

He looked Adam in the eyes and then took him gently in his arms. "I love you, son."  
Adam closed his eyes.


	59. Chapter 59

"Good Morning."

Adam closed the door behind him and took off his hat. "Wynono ..."

Sarah jumped up from the table and ran into his arms. "Wayáta eh?"

He kept her on his arm and walked to the table. "No, I haven't eaten yet. I hope you've left some for me."

"I'll get a plate and a wíyatke."

He let her down and gave Sophie a kiss on her head. "And how is our other little princess?"

Sophie banged her spoon on the plate. "Da ... ham."

Sarah came back with the dish and put it at Adam's place. "And so why does Pa always say he doesn't understand me? She just babbles."

"Sunshine, you were no better. Speaking about Pa. Where is he? I just saw Joe riding to school, but alone."

Chuckling Emillia looked at him. "I will try to paraphrase it nicely. For both of you, it was certainly very good, that he went with you on the cattle drive, but his body has found out that he has nevertheless declined in the last two years, as far as the work on the ranch is concerned. But I think he'll be right down."

Even Adam couldn't help grinning as he remembered how his father had to fight with his fatigue on the trail and the fact that nobody was allowed to notice it. But Emillia was right. It did the two of them well, that Ben had spontaneously decided to join the cattle drive. They had taken the time to talk about many things. In future there would certainly be disputes between them one way or another, but Adam had gained the impression that now his father understood him better and his way of thinking, and he hoped not only his. He looked at Sarah and smiled at her.

Despite already being a week back home, Ben felt all his bones aching. With tired legs he headed for the stairs. One thing he had decided after the cattle drive was to work more physically on the ranch in future. Such an embarrassment as during the last few weeks he wouldn't indulge again. He was sure that Adam had noticed exactly how much he had to fight. He carefully took the first steps and then saw that his son was sitting at the breakfast table. Immediately he stretched his back by taking a deep breath. He took the last stages very lilting and put on a friendly face.

"Good Morning."

In passing he slapped Adam on the shoulder. "Good morning, Adam. Nice that you have breakfast with us today."

Over the rim of his cup Adam looked smirking to Emillia. She tried to hide her laugh behind the napkin. It could clearly be seen how Ben tried to walk normally, but in vain. Ben sat down and took some food. "What are your plans for today?"

Slowly Adam put down his cup and looked at him seriously. "I thought we both could ride up to Coleman Valley to have a look at the land."

Ben's eyebrows raised. "Coleman Valley? Did we have a talk about doing this?"

Adam slightly lowered his head to hide his grin. "No, but I thought it would be a nice trip."

Ben put both hands on the table and looked at Adam with a withering look but Adam ignored it deliberately.

"Emillia, would you be so kind as to hand me the coffee pot?"

"Of course, Adam." She handed Adam the coffee pot. "Adam, where exactly is this valley? Can I plan to have you here for lunch?"

"No. I hope we make it in time to be back for supper."

"You can stop it. Adam ... I won't ride to this Valley. Not today and not in future."

Eyes narrowed, he looked at his wife and then to Adam.

His face clearly showed that he didn't find the whole thing so funny. "Will you tell me now please what you're up to today?"

"George and I want to get out to the south slope to look for some cattle. As it stands, they've used the time when we weren't here and gone on an excursion. We hope to find them there, and Pa, if I'm not back by noon, can you send me Joe, please?"

„Joe?"

"Yes. He can help us search."

His father looked at him a little doubtfully. "I think you will want get on? Joe will only hinder you for sure."

"Of course, it'll take longer, but when he's going to help me next year in spring, it's a good exercise for him to learn how to drive the cattle back to the herd. Now we have the time and the chance to do it. Not so in spring. Then I expect him to know how everything works."

"Adam, don't expect too much of him. He has just become fourteen, and he's still far from the strength Hoss and you had at this age."

"But if he doesn't start to work physically, he won't ever get this strength."

"Well, I'll send him to you after lunch, but promise me, to not be too hard on him. He happens to be quite thin and not as steady as you two. He's just a lot like his mother."

"Or like his father."

"What did you say?"

Ben's voice had a stern tone.

"Oh, nothing of importance. I just wondered whether I should go to the city today."

Sarah looked up from her plate. "Oyákiyake ..."

Adam interrupted his sister in the sentence. "Pa has understood me quite well." 

"But ..."

With a smile he put his hand on hers. "Yúta yo!"

She pouted and focused on her breakfast again. Ben crossed his hands. "My dear son, can we please agree upon two rules in my house?"

He didn't wait for Adam's answer. "The first rule is ... at the table we speak in a way that everyone can understand. The second rule is that mess from your crossbreed remains outside the door. I don't want to have all the dirt and the mud in the house. The excuse she's still too small and needs the warmth won't work any longer."

Immediately Sarah's head shot upward. "But Pa. It's cold outside and she's got no shoes."

Adam leaned back in his chair. "Yes, Pa. Unfortunately I didn't get shoes for Rusty. They were all sold out. And as you always say, warm feet are the most important thing in winter."

With the knife Ben pointed towards Adam. Then he put it on his plate in resignation. "Oh, ... do what you want, you do it anyway, but ... that with the speaking so everyone understands, that remains."

Adam winked at Sarah. "I think we can live with the fact that we no longer speak in the language of the Gosiute at the table. Can't we, Winona?"

It took her only a short time, to understand what Adam meant, but then she also winked at him grinning.

XX

George rode up to Adam, as he took a sip from his canteen.

"Adam, did you find any?"

Adam put away his canteen and shook his head. "No, but I still wanted to look back at the small valley and then further above."

George turned slightly in the saddle and looked back. "Then I will ride down to the river again. Adam, ..." He sat up straight again. "... what if we are actually dealing with rustlers here?"

Adam leaned on the saddle horn and his eyes moved from left to right over the land. "I can't quite imagine so soon after the cattle drive."

Then George nudged him. "Here comes your little brother."

Adam straightened up and looked over his shoulder to Joe.

Already by the way he sat on the horse, Adam could see that he wasn't thrilled about the fact that he had to help them. When he came to a halt next to George and Adam, it could clearly be seen in his face, too. "Hello, Joe. Nice that you want to help us."

Joe's facial expression didn't change. "You know that I'm not here voluntarily."

"But now you're here."

Joe dropped his shoulders and looked at his brother with big pleading eyes. "Adam, can't you do it alone? Greg and I wanted to go fishing today."

Adam tried to stay calm. "Joe, it was agreed that you help me at least twice a week. In all the past few weeks you had time enough to go fishing with Greg."

Pretty snotty Joe replied. "Oh yes? I had? So often I had to keep an eye on your little darling, and I certainly didn't want to take her with me if I wanted to go with Greg."

Adam lowered his head and took a deep breath. "You know this is an exaggeration, and I don't want to argue with you any further, otherwise I've got to remind you that you've lied to me the day before yesterday concerning the huge amounts of homework."

"I don't want to go looking for some stupid critters. They come back on their own anyway."

It was only a slight movement, but in a blink of an eye Adam stood with Sport very close to Joe and glared at him. "To me it doesn't matter whether you like it or not. As long as you live here on the Ponderosa, you'll just participate in the work of the ranch. You will now ride into the little valley and see if you can find our cattle there. And if I hear one word from you, you'll get to know what happens when I get really mad at you."

With every word of Adam Little Joe had backed away a bit. He rarely had experienced his brother talking to him this way. He knew it was better to keep quiet, even though some suitable remarks were on the tip of his tongue. "I'll do it, even though I know that I'll never work on this stupid ranch later."

„JOE …!"

His little brother looked at him angrily, but then he took the reins in his hand and went to ride off. "Joe, we meet in half an hour back here. I hope you've taken your watch."

With wide eyes Joe reached into his pocket, then grabbed in terror into his other pocket. When he didn't find his watch there, he looked embarrassed at Adam. "Gone and left it probably in my room."

Pretty annoyed Adam took his watch from his pocket and put it into Little Joe's shirt pocket. "It's now close to three thirty. At four we meet here again. Did you get that, Little Joe?"

"Oh yes, ... four o'clock."

Pretty angry at his brother Little Joe rode off.

"You still have a lot to do, until Joe's in the shape that he can help you properly, and he still has to gain some weight. A breath of air and he will fall off his horse."

Not much calmer, Adam turned his horse and looked at George. "Yes, and that's why I'm so strict with him. Just because he' gots nothing on his ribs, we cannot always show consideration for him, otherwise he will still look like a little boy when he's in his twenties, and will never be able to get down to work here."

"I think you won't be part of his evening prayer in the near future."

Adam looked in the direction in which his little brother rode. It was quite clear to him that this wouldn't be an easy task. "Come on George, let's look further, otherwise my little brother will be back before us and gives us a sermon on punctuality."

George laughed. "Oh, I think it would please him if he could rebuke you." 

Adam pulled his hat deep into his face, and rode off.

XX

Still upset, Little Joe rode to the small valley. All the time he wondered who Adam really believed he was? Pa would've surely let him go fishing, but unfortunately Pa listened more often to Adam. But he didn't feel like riding to this stupid valley, especially now, since Greg was certainly on the Ponderosa, waiting for him. He was riding slower and grumbled under his breath, when he saw a rider approaching on him.

"Little Joe!"

Joe sat up straight and his face brightened. "Greg!"

"For goodness' sake Joe, what luck that I found you so quickly. Your mother told me that your brother has sentenced you to work again."

Greg looked around. "Where is he? Or are you already through with your chores?"

"No, I'm not, and my great brother is somewhere back there. I should check the small valley, to see if our cattle are there."

"How stupid is that? Can't he do it himself?"

He shrugged, then Joe's gaze fell on Greg's saddle. "What have ya got there?"

His friend was grinning all over his face and pulled a rifle out of the shaft.

"I've just got it from my father. He thinks I'm old enough to have my own. Do you want to have a look?"

Joe jumped out of the saddle and took the rifle in his hand. "Sure!"

Then he held it up and looked at it from all sides, and acted as if he was aiming at something in the distance. He slowly let the rifle down again and gave it back to Greg with an envious glance. "I'll surely get my own rifle but probably in ten years."

His friend put the gun back into the shaft.

"Well, I don't understand why your father is so strict. Mine is much more laid back."

Slightly crestfallen Little Joe got back on his horse. "My Pa would certainly allow it, but he always listens to what Adam says, and he'll never share the opinion that I'm old enough for a rifle."

"I thought since your trip in April you get along better with him?"

A bit embarrassed Joe played with the reins. "Yeah, and I also promised him that I would join more in the ranch's work, but ... alas, I don't know why I always fight him. I do know that he just wants to help me."

Greg nudged him. "You know what we should do? We should ride over to the little valley, to see if your cattle's there, and at the same time we try my rifle. What do you think?"

In an instant Joe's face beamed. "Great idea! Come on, let's go. Who's first!" 

Greg pulled the gun out of the shaft and with a loud yahoo he dashed away.

XX

"And, have you been lucky?"

Adam shook his head, as he rode on to George. "And the way you look, you weren't successful either."

George took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I'm more than ever convinced that somebody got his fingers in the pie."

"Maybe Joe has had a little luck. Have you seen him?"

Adam rose slightly from the saddle and looked around. "What time is it, George?" 

He took out his watch and showed it to Adam. "Mmhhh, ... we will give him a few more minutes, then we ride to meet him."

"Do you think something happened to your brother?"

"No, not yet. But if I find him asleep in the shade of a tree, then something will happen to him. The young man can be sure of that."

The foreman smiled. How different those three brothers were. He knew them all from an early age, and for Joe it could already be seen quite early that he had many things on his mind, too many as to focus on just one thing. He was, like Adam, sure that Joe was lying somewhere in the shade. No wonder his boss already had so many gray hairs.

When Joe still wasn't back after ten minutes, the two men rode in the direction of the valley. They looked at each other when they heard two shots and two more shortly after. Without a word, they drew their guns and galloped towards the valley. They could hear the loud barking of Rusty, who had reached the valley before them. Adam's horse hadn't come to a complete halt when he jumped out of the saddle with a shocked look.

„Joe …..!"

He ran to his brother, who was lying next to his dead horse.

"... Joe ...!"

Adam knelt beside his brother and at first he didn't know what to do. He was too shocked by the image in front of him. Joe's shirt was full of blood, and Adam couldn't tell where it came from. Very softly he called his brother's name. "Joe, ... please say something."

However, his brother didn't move. With trembling fingers Adam opened Joe's shirt to see where the blood came from and whether his brother was still breathing. A bullet wound could clearly be seen in his chest. Adam tore his shirt apart to stop the bleeding somehow.

"The other boy is dead. What about Joe?"

George stood beside Adam and watched Joe. Adam picked up his brother and took him to his horse.

"George, ride into town, get the doctor! And hurry up! "

The foreman nodded and helped Adam to lift his brother on the horse. "I will also get the Sheriff. As it stands, four more people were here."

Without looking at the foreman Adam rode off with Joe in his arms. George considered first whether he should take the dead Greg to town, but then decided to leave him here, because everything else would have taken too long. As the young Cartwright had looked, he needed a doctor badly.

When Adam reached the ranch, he no longer felt his hand. He had pressed it so firmly against Joe's wound. He carefully slid off the horse.

"PA ...!"

He hadn't reached the door when it was opened by Ben. His smile froze to ice as he saw Little Joe in Adam's arms.

"Joseph ...!"

"He was shot, Pa. George's just getting the doctor."

Adam walked past Ben and took Joe upstairs. Only when Adam was on the stairs, Ben's composure broke. He ran into the kitchen and informed Hop Sing that he should bring hot water and towels upstairs. Then he ran as fast as he could to Joe's room. On his way he was grateful that Emillia was at a friend with the girls. Adam was just about to take Joe's shirt off, and Ben had briefly to hold his breath as he saw the bullet hole.

"Adam, ... what happened?"

"I don't know, Pa."

Ben grabbed him by the shirt. "How can you not know? You were with him!" With wide eyes he yelled at Adam. "You were supposed to take care of him."

Adam pushed the hand away and took the bowl and the towels from Hop Sing and put them on the nightstand. When he wanted to put Joe's shirt aside, his watch fell in many single parts out of Little Joe's breast pocket. Adam glanced at the parts on the floor and then shoved them aside with his foot. Adam looked at his father appalled when he tore the cloth from his hand.

"I'm doing this. You can wait for the doctor downstairs."

"I'll stay."

Even more enraged than before, Ben looked at him and with a thundering voice he roared. "I said, 'Go'! ... You've done enough."

Slowly Adam straightened up and looked at his father, who took care of Joe's wound. Then he left the room, picked up a new shirt and went down to the cabinet with rifles. He had just loaded a rifle with cartridges as the front door opened, and the doctor and Tom came in. "Where is Joe, Adam?"

With the gun barrel Adam pointed upwards. Dr. Martin took two steps at a time and rushed to Joe's room. Tom looked at his friend. "What happened to Joe, Adam?"

"I assume that he won't survive. He isn't strong enough."

Tom held Adam by the arm. "What are you up to, buddy?"

With an ice cold glance Adam looked at his friend. "What do you think? I'm going to hunt the bastards who killed my baby brother, even if it takes years."

Tom still had hold of his arm. "First of all, Joe's not dead yet, and secondly it's my job to find those people."

With a jerk Adam drew his arm back. "I told you, he'll die, therefore they are murderers, and you cannot forbid me to go on a little hunt. We will see if something else is going to run in front of my rifle, apart from a cougar."

"No, I cannot forbid you, but I can go with you."

Adam whistled for Rusty and left the house. "Do what you want, Tom, but you can't stop me."


	60. Chapter 60

When they reached the small valley, George and Sheriff Rushton with two other men were already there. It looked like they had just tied Greg's lifeless body onto his horse. Slowly Adam dismounted and looked around. As Rushton saw him, he went up to him.

"How is your brother?"

Adam looked past the Sheriff while he replied. "He's going to die."

Then he left Tom's boss standing there and went to the place where he had found Joe. Instinctively Tom wanted to follow him, but he was held back by Henry Rushton. "What about the boy? Things don't look good for him?"

First, Tom looked at Adam and then to the ground. "I haven't seen him, but when Adam says that things don't look good for him, there must be something in it."

Henry nodded. "This coincides with what the foreman said. The little boy didn't look too well, and we all know that he isn't the strongest."

Tom didn't answer. He didn't want to imagine what it would mean for the family if Joe really died. Again he looked at Adam. "Did you find anything?"

With a quick glance Henry looked over at Joe's dead horse. "As it stands, there were four more people here, apart from the two boys."

He pointed to a group of rocks not far aside. "There we found a handful of cattle. Based on the tracks, the brands were getting changed."

Rushton scratched the back of his hand, then looked directly into Tom's eyes. "Tom, your friend's very upset. Can I rely on you?"

Amazed the deputy looked at him. "Of course. Why not?"

"Are you ready to put your best friend behind bars, if necessary?"

Tom raised his eyebrows. "I know what my job is and I'm not a greenhorn any longer."

Rushton's view remained serious. "Then you'll also have no problem to lead him to the gallows? 'Cause this will be your job, if you cannot stop him."

Holding his breath, he looked first to his boss and then to Adam. "He won't go that far. Perhaps he's very upset at the moment, but he certainly wouldn't go that far."

"Are you sure? This is about his brother, and what the foreman told me Joe and Adam were arguing shortly before this happened."

"He's not a murderer."

"But when it comes to the family, every man can lose control. Are you then willing to point your gun at him ...?" He tapped a finger against the star at Tom's chest. "... to represent the law?"

Tom's eyes went down and remained on the badge. Many thoughts raced through his mind. Then he looked back at Adam, who examined the tracks in the camp. "I know what my job is, and I know that my friend would never go too far."

"All right, then we've clarified that. I'll bring the boy to his parents. I think in about an hour we can start our search. We still have some time before it gets dark."

Tom had hooked his thumbs in his belt and took a deep breath. "And I'll look around one more time."

Henry slapped him on the shoulder and went to his horse.

Tom went to Adam, who still walked slowly through the valley, and the way it looked, Rusty could feel how outraged Adam was. She didn't budge away from his side and it was obvious that the dog was just as tense. "We leave in about an hour."

His friend didn't reply right away, but crouched down and looked over the ground. "I'm not going to wait that long."

"Yes, you will."

Slowly Adam stood up. "You're trying to stop me?"

Tom crossed his arms. "I don't need to. Since you'll be reasonable enough to wait for us. I think you'll indeed have the brains to realize you don't want to cope alone with four men."

As so often the only emotion to be seen in Adam's face was a short twitching of his cheekbones. "One hour. I won't wait any longer."

Then Adam left his friend standing there and wandered around in the valley again. Tom pulled his hat down over his face. He knew that the search for the rustlers would put their friendship to the test. But he believed that Adam knew how far he could go.

After only half an hour Sheriff Rushton was back. He was accompanied by Greg's father. Before they set out to find the rustlers, the sheriff talked again with the men. He especially looked at Adam and Greg's father. "We will follow the tracks until nightfall and will be back on the track at sunrise. I want to point out that we want to return the men alive. Only if there is no alternative, will we make use of the guns. Should anyone think of planning his own hunt here, he'll have to deal with me or Tom. I hope I don't need to remind anyone who's representing the law here."

He looked once more in the round and went to his horse.

XXX

Like the evenings before, Adam didn't speak with the others and sat apart from them. At first Tom had tried to start a conversation with him, but on the fourth evening he had given up. Every morning Adam was the first to have packed his things and was ready to continue the search. Impatiently he was always waiting for the others. They had already been traveling all morning and followed the tracks when they arrived at a river where they noticed that the four fugitives had separated. Two of the rustlers had ridden further along the river, the other two in the opposite direction. Adam dismounted, crouched down, looked back at the tracks and followed them with his eyes. Rusty had lain down beside him and yelped softly. „Tókhetkiya mníŋ kta hwo?"

The dog cocked her head and then stood up. With the nose to the ground she walked along the shore. Then she lay down again and waited for Adam, who stroked her head as she sat up. "All right, then we'll go that way."

Tom and the Sheriff stood together and discussed how to proceed. "I'll follow with Adam and George the traces up the river."

Rushton looked over at Adam. "Shouldn't I better ride with him? I think his mood is still very dangerous. Greg's father is easier to handle. When he gets to feel enough authority, he won't make any mischief."

Tom slapped his badge. "I don't wear this just for fun, Henry, I'll do whatever's necessary to do. If I'm unable to keep my friend from his own stupidity, then I've got the wrong job."

The sheriff took the reins of his horse and mounted. "I trust you, Tom. When you bring this job successfully to an end, then I won't have to bother about my successor."

He nodded to his group and the three rode down the river. Tom took his horse and went to George and Adam, who were waiting next to the foreman's horse. "Tom, I can't go on to accompany you. My horse's got a problem with a shoe. I must get back to the ranch, but I will try to catch up with you again."

The deputy looked at Adam, who had already taken his horse by the reins and followed the tracks on the shore on foot. "You can stay at the ranch. I think you're needed more there."

"Are you sure, Tom? Don't you forget, I've known not only Adam from an early age, but also you, and we both know how Adam can be when he gets something in his head. Currently he knows neither friend nor foe."

"Thank you George, but I've got to make it without your help, and I am currently neither friend nor foe for Adam. I'm here to represent the law. Even an Adam Cartwright must stick to it."

"Honestly, Tom? For your friendship, I hope that you will lose the track of the two."

Both mounted their horses. "I'm confident that we will all be together to celebrate Thanksgiving with Little Joe in fall."

With only moderate success the foreman tried to smile, and with a light touch on his hat, he rode back to the Ponderosa.

Till the afternoon Tom and Adam went along the shore to follow the tracks. Again and again the fugitives had changed to the other side of the river, hoping to lead the pursuers astray. Despite the heat, Adam put forward a pace that Tom had to wonder how long they would keep up. He didn't need to ask for a break. If he did, Adam would surely continue the way without him. Then, as the tracks led away from the river back towards the interior, Adam mounted into the saddle without saying a word. The sun slowly disappeared on the horizon, but the way it looked, Adam wanted neither the horses nor himself to take a break. "Adam, we should gradually find a place for the night."

His friend, however, made no attempt to listen to what he had just said. So Tom rode beside Sport and held him at the reins, so he had to stop. "I've said, we're now looking for a place for the night."

"And if I don't want to?"

"You will have no other choice. Of course you can ride alone, but as it looks, the tracks lead into the mountains, and if you drive your horse this way, I'll catch up with you easily tomorrow. Because with a dead horse you won't get far."

Adam pulled on the reins and rode another few yards, until he found a suitable place for the night. He unsaddled his horse, took care of it and then looked for firewood. It was a very dark and silent night. Only occasionally one or another animal could be heard. Adam looked into the fire, thinking of his brother. Was he still alive? Adam hadn't looked exactly at the wound. He had been shocked too much by the amount of blood and by the reaction of his father. How could he once again believe that he was to blame for what had happened? And Adam had really believed the cattle drive could have changed their relationship, but the way it looked, it was all the same after only a short time. His hand touched the snake and he closed his eyes. He knew he was about to leave the right path, but too great was the hatred he had for these men. The only thing he wanted was to vent his anger on them. Who shoots kids without the slightest qualm, had earned nothing else in his eyes. He looked at Tom. Their eyes met. Until now, they hadn't talked much. And Adam didn't want to get involved into a conversation. He knew too well what his friend would tell him, and that he was right.

"Is it worth it, Adam? Do you think you'll feel better then?"

"Leave it be, Tom. You needn't tell me, what I should do or not do."

"Yes, I'm going to or do you think, I just don't give a damn how my best friend's throwing his life away?"

Adam folded his hands and placed them over his mouth. His eyes were still fixed on Tom. Maybe it was due to the fact that his last visit to the mountain was too long ago that he didn't defend himself against the wrong wolf. Too much had accumulated in recent months, and the talks with Koko had also declined since she was married to Hoss.

"Adam, you held my daughter in your arms a few days ago, and don't tell me that it has left you untouched. I could see exactly what thoughts ran through your head at that moment, or don't you just care any more, because Hoss has taken Koko away from you?"

Adam didn't move as he spoke. "My brother hasn't taken my gal away, and I don't want to risk facing the gallows."

"Then tell me what's wrong with you that you apparently don't care? I know you just too long about not knowing what you're going to do, if we catch the two."

"Isn't it enough if I say they killed Joe?"

"How do you know if Joe's dead?"

"You haven't seen him. He hasn't got the strength to survive such an injury."

"Yes, he is quite skinny, but like all of you he's got a strong will, and I believe that he will survive."

Again Adam closed his eyes. As Tom had guessed correctly, it wasn't just about Joe that he felt again this anger in himself, but the fact that he had opened himself to his father in vain to fight the wall in him. He had so hoped to finally get rid of it. Why had Tom to be here? Why couldn't he just surrender to his anger? "Then believe it. I know that he's dead."

Adam's eyes widened when Tom suddenly yelled. "Damn it, Adam! If you don't see sense gradually, you know how this is going to end! I won't look away! I'll take you back behind bars, if need be, or stop you. No matter how!"

Adam stood up to go to his place. "Then we know where we both are standing."

Tom rose. "And I always thought that our friendship couldn't be shaken easily."  
Adam's shoulders slumped down a bit, but he went on to his place.

When Tom awoke the next morning, he didn't take long to find out that his friend had already left the camp. He should have known that Adam would manage it so that Tom wouldn't get into a conflict of conscience. So he hurried to get his horse ready as soon as possible to follow his friend. Tom just hoped that Adam hadn't destroyed the traces of the rustlers as well as his own. After a short time he noted with relief that he could ride after his friend easily. Over time, however, he had to ask the question whether Adam hadn't done it on purpose. Maybe he wanted his friend to stop him.

Kneeling on one leg Adam looked on the tracks. "As it stands, Rusty, one of them has a problem with his horse. They don't make any headway." He stroked his dog, looking into the distance. "I think, not long, and we will catch up with them."

He put his elbows on his knees and bit lightly into his fist. Should he wait for Tom or surrender to his anger with all the consequences? Adam looked at the cloudless sky, but even there he didn't find the help he actually needed. All of a sudden he felt such a strong stab in his heart that he had to hold his breath, but as sudden as it had come, it was gone again. He looked back at the sky and saw a falcon circling, and he thought of the words he had heard not long ago. 'Look in the eyes of the falcon. They're clear and look without judging; look in the eyes of the crow. They will show you what's behind it all; look in the eyes of the wolf. It's your family; look in the eyes of the snake. It's wise; look in your eyes and you'll realize everything is one. You don't need words to understand life. You see clearly only with the heart. Look back and use it more than the written, the spoken word, ... the gestures, the heart, the ears, the nose, ... use all senses that surround you. Otherwise you're deaf to what surrounds you. Feel the life that surrounds you, only then you will be.'

Was it, that he had approached the whole thing with wrong expectations? It was one thing to think to be on the right track, but another to believe, this way to be the one and only. Should he stop waiting that his father found the right words? Should he pay more attention to his gestures? See what his father's heart might tell him? Didn't his words come always very thoughtlessly? Just as HE couldn't shout out his emotions, his father couldn't hold them back so easily? Adam could feel the anger in him was about to poison him. He was willing to put many years of friendship at stake. As an excuse, he used the injury of his brother. But did it really make sense, to rack their brains yet? For sure his father wouldn't, for all their love, forgive him that Joe was dead. All of a sudden Rusty perked up and growled softly.

„Toníkča he?"

Rusty ran and ducked deeper into the rocky landscape. Adam took the rifle out of the shaft and followed his dog. Not five minutes later, he saw two men in front of him, standing next to a horse and quarreling. "If you hadn't shot the boys, we would've simply rode off and had continued somewhere else. But since you had been too fast on pulling the trigger once again, we must now see how we can escape unscathed."

"Then stop whining about it and let's ride on."

The other shouted loudly at his partner. "Sure, with both on one horse! How long do you think it would take before they catch up with us? I've already told you in Virginia City get yourself another horse. Yours won't make it much longer, but as always, you didn't listen to me."

"Do you want to leave me here?"

"Might be the best, but I had to promise our mother that I'll always take care of you."

The elder looked at the horse. "Then let's ride on until your horse breaks down, as we move forward even faster this way at the moment than together on one horse."

Adam knew he had reached his goal. He had found the man who was responsible for his brother's death. He placed the rifle on to a rock and went to the two brothers. With scared faces the two watched Adam, who approached them. Their hands immediately went to their guns, but they didn't draw. Adam pointed to the older of the two. "Unbuckle your gunbelt very slowly."

He turned slightly to the man who had shot at Joe and Greg. "I just want him."

The eyes of the younger got even bigger. "Do something! ... Shoot him down! Can't you see that he's alone?"

The eyes still fixed on the younger, Adam drew his gun and pointed in the direction of the other. "One wrong move and I blow you off without batting an eyelid."

With his left hand the older one carefully opened the gun belt and let it drop to the ground.

"PATRICK! ... Do you simply want to watch as he guns me down?"

"Howard, look at his eyes. He'll shoot us anyway. Guess, why he's alone!"

Meanwhile Adam had approached the younger. His eyes were cold. Just a quick twitch of his cheekbone showed what an anger was in him. "Why don't you go for your gun? Do you just dare only to shoot at kids who cannot defend themselves?"

The man in front of him stumbled back a few steps. The sweat gathered on his forehead. He looked at Adam, who only waited for him to reach for his gun. "This is murder, what you're up to!"

"Did you also think about it when you killed my brother and his friend?"

The man kept on stumbling back, until he found his back against a rock. Startled, he glanced over his shoulder, only to close his eyes. "Then do it! Shoot me!"

Softly Rusty began to growl, and Adam could see from the corner of his eye how the older one bent for his gun to point it at him. But before he stood properly again, Adam had pulled the trigger and Patrick dropped shot to the ground. Without caring about him, Adam looked back at the man before him. He grabbed him by the collar, pulled him down on his knees and put him the barrel of his gun in his mouth. "Open your eyes. I want you to see how I'll shoot you."

Without opening his eyes, the man shook his head. It was a quick short move. Adam pulled the barrel out of the mouth and hit his opponent with his gun in the face. Then he grabbed him, so that he knelt again before him. "Do you open your eyes now?"

"Please, just do it!"

"Yes, Adam, just do it. Be with him on the same level. Don't be a little better than he is. I'm sure you'll feel pretty good, too, when I put the noose around your neck after you're sentenced to death."

Adam didn't look at his friend, who was standing behind him. He just looked at the man kneeling in front of him. "What are you waiting for? Don't you tell me you still have a bit of conscience left!"

Again, this short stab in his heart. It was his conscience that made itself felt. This small triangular thing in his heart. That standstill when he was good. But if he was planning to do evil, it turned and the edges caused him pain. The corners hadn't been jaded yet. Adam had never done anything to anyone because of wrong motives. Then Adam looked back at the sky, but without releasing the man. 'Lose your temper, and you lose a friend.' Very slowly Adam lowered his head and looked at the man in front of him. Likewise slowly he put his gun back in his holster. Then he drew back to give the man such a heavy blow that he and Tom could hear the jawbone crack. Adam resisted the temptation, to give the whining rustler a kick. "He's yours, Tom ..." He stopped briefly standing next to his friend. "... and thank you."

XXX

With both men they returned to Virginia City and brought them to jail. Then Tom sent someone off to get the doctor. "And what about me? Will you lock me up, too?"

Tom handed Adam a cup of coffee. "Why should I? I saw how you shot the older one in self-defense, and his injury is not that bad, that there will be a big investigation, and ..." He looked at Adam over the rim of his cup and after a sip he continued the sentence. "... I assume that you regret that you've briefly lost your temper."

Adam put the cup on the desk and went to the door. "Then I'm going to ride home."

Before he left the office, Tom addressed him. "Buddy, ... when everything has calmed down, I'd be happy if you come to us for dinner."

Adam's eyes were fixed on his hand resting on the doorknob. With a jerk he opened the door and without saying anything, he left the office.

XX

After more than four weeks, he returned to the Ponderosa. Certainly they had already buried Little Joe. Most nights on the way back he had lain awake and thought about what he should do now. Emillia had once said to him that leaving the ranch would be taking flight from himself, but he didn't see it that way. By his departure Adam would make it easier for his father to get over the loss of Little Joe. As he knelt at Greg's grave to apologize, he had decided that he wanted to see his family just briefly, and then pack his things to leave. He would have preferred not to say Goodbye, so as to spare himself the pain of farewell, but he still wanted to know where his little brother was buried, to say farewell to him and to apologize.

When Adam saw the ranch house, he realized that his father stood in front of it. Even from a distance he saw how worried and done he looked. He looked like a broken old man. Very slowly Adam brought Sport to a halt and dismounted. His father came closer.

His voice was hoarse and just a whisper. "Did you do it?"

With a slight shake of his head, he answered in the negative, without saying anything. Ben took a deep breath, closed his eyes and bowed his head. Even Adam's words crossed his lips very softly. "Where is Joe?"

Ben lifted his head and with a slight movement he looked over his shoulder toward the house. "He's in his room, waiting impatiently for your return."

Adam looked at the house and then to his father. The words he had just heard reached his mind only slowly. But then he ran to the house and with every yard his steps got faster until he ran up the stairs and pushed open the door of his brother's room. He stormed into the room so fast that Emillia had trouble holding the dishes that almost slid out of her hands with fright. She looked at him with wide eyes, but then her initial pleased face changed into a worried expression. "Adam, did you ...?"

She didn't continue. Again, he just shook his head. Little Joe, who had been sitting at his desk, jumped up with a leap and ran to him and into his arms. "Adam, at last!"

Adam's legs gave in. Too great was the burden that just dropped from his shoulders. So he knelt down with Joe and held him in his arms. Before he could say anything, he had to swallow several times. "You're alive?"

Joe pushed away from him and grinned. "Sure, of course. Want to look at the scar?"

Joe opened a few buttons of his shirt and pointed to the wound, the way it looked, very well-healed. Suddenly Adam felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into his father's eyes. "Your watch has saved his life. Dr. Martin said that if this hadn't stopped the bullet, it would have penetrated too deeply and ... "

Ben looked at Joe and didn't continue.

Adam stayed kneeling on the ground and put his hand over his eyes. Slowly he realized what a huge mistake he had almost committed. Emillia handed Joe the dishes. "Come on, Joe. You can help me in the kitchen. I think we should just leave your father and Adam alone."

"But ...!"

His mother looked at him with a slight smile. "Joe, please. You can tell Adam later what happened in the valley."

With a slightly disappointed face Joe left the room with Emillia. Completely done, Adam rose and walked to the window to look out.

"All this time I thought he was dead."

"He has lost a lot of blood, but it looked worse than it finally was. After two weeks, he was able to leave his bed again. He's still very done now and then, but in a week he'll be able to go to school again."

"Adam ..." Ben waited until his son looked at him. "... George told me how angry you were. You haven't really done something rash?"

Again Adam covered his face with his hands and exhaled. "It didn't take much, Pa, and I almost would have killed him. If Tom hadn't been with me ..."

Ben couldn't hide how shocked he was by that statement. "Why, Adam? Why did you just leave without saying anything? You cannot imagine how worried I was. When George then came back and told me how you behaved ... "

"I believed among other things, that I could thus free myself from the guilt."

"Guilt? ... Son, you weren't to blame for what happened. If you had been riding to the valley, the men would certainly have shot at you, too."

Adam raised his head and looked at his father, tired and desperate. Ben struggled to understand his next words, so quiet were they. "Pa, ... I can't go on anymore." 

Ben saw how Adam collapsed.

With two steps he was with him and took him in his arms. Despite the warm weather his son was quivering, and Ben wondered, what pressure had weighed on his son during the recent weeks. He would hold Adam until he felt that he had calmed down, hoping that he could then relieve him of the guilt.


	61. Chapter 61

Carefully, he sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through his face. Adam didn't know exactly what time it was, but he suspected that it wouldn't be long until sunrise. Since he couldn't sleep any longer, he got up and pulled on his pants. Before he left the room, he covered Sarah again. Yesterday his sister had pleaded with him with tears in her eyes, to sleep in his old room. Even though he was quite done, he met her request. Ben had told him how much she had suffered when he was simply gone, and no one really knew when he might come back home. Every day his sister had been sitting on the porch for hours without saying a word, and when he had tucked her in yesterday, she never let go of his hand until she had fallen asleep. Even at night she woke up one time or another and had sought his closeness.

Adam looked at Rusty, who was curled up in front of the bed. "Are you coming?"

The dog briefly opened his eyes to close them again with a sigh. "But don't use the opportunity to jump into bed with Winona. Pa wasn't thrilled anyway that you're sleeping up here."

Since the dog made no efforts to move, he gently pulled the door behind him closed and went downstairs, where his view fell on the grandfather clock. He hadn't been mistaken. It was just after four and so he decided to make coffee and then drink it outside the door.

Then, when he sat on the steps of the front porch, daybreak was dawning. It looked like there would be a beautiful sunrise and the world would create a new bright day. Gone was the last day and therefore what he had done. Whether he was furious or friendly. Whether he had made a friend or an enemy ... He chuckled. If only it were that easy. Yesterday he hadn't talked much with his father. For he had been quite done by the past few weeks, but it had felt surprisingly well to give free rein to his emotions. It felt no longer as if he carried around a ton of burden. He was also surprised about what Joe had told him about the events in the valley. As Joe had described it, there was still hope for his brother that he understood one or the other thing he was trying to explain to him for years.

Greg and Joe had reached the valley and immediately realized that the four men had to be rustlers. Before Joe could tell Greg that they should best ride back to fetch him and George, Greg dashed ahead with the rifle in his hand and threatened the men he would shoot them. Joe still tried to take away the rifle from his friend's hand and keep him from the insane action. But then already shots had been fired and Joe hadn't been able to get out of the line of fire.

His brother had looked at him sadly and wondered why Greg had done that. The men hadn't spotted them yet, and so they might have sneaked out with no problems to get help. The only thing which occurred to Adam as an explanation, was that Greg apparently only acted and then it was too late for thinking. You could see Joe as he thought about Adam's answer and realized that those were exactly the words that his brother taught him repeatedly from an early age. Throughout the evening Little Joe had then been very quiet and went to bed early.

Adam just wondered what he wanted to do today, when he heard the front door opening. "Would you mind if I join you?"

He moved a little and his father sat down beside him. "Shall I get you a cup?"

"No, thank you ..." Ben looked at his hands. "Adam, ... yesterday I had the feeling that you, as you felt a little better, avoided me. I thought after our talks at the cattle drive we wanted to make sure that we talk more to each other."

"You did it again, Pa."

Astonished Ben looked at him. "What did I do?"

"You've left me the blame before you even knew what had happened."

Ben briefly opened his mouth, then looked to the barn. "When did I blame you? You were gone almost instantly."

Adam laughed mockingly. "Pa, you got me thrown out of the room with the words, I had already done enough."

His father's eyes widened and looked at him in horror. "Did I say that?"

Now Adam looked at him in astonishment.

"Adam, I cannot really remember what exactly happened in Joe's room. I only know that I was terribly frightened as Joe lay in his bed, and I was mad at the man who had done this to him ... Yes, at first I was angry at you, but I think at this time I was furious at anyone who was close to Joe. I've never seriously blamed you. I do know how much you care for your brothers and sisters and that you would try everything to prevent that something could happen to them."

„But you said it."

Ben stood up and looked to the rising sun. Then he turned back to his son and lifted both his arms in slight desperation. "I ... I ... when I'm angry ... it may be that I'm not always so aware of my choice of words."

Adam put his cup aside and stood up as well. "But if you do that ..." He hit his fist slightly on his heart. "... you hurt me here. At this moment I only realize that you're making me responsible for what happened and for your resulting anger. I then feel guilty, although I know very well that I'm not."

His father stood before him and shook his head. "It was really crazy and irresponsible, what I did to you. That I moved alone with you in the West. I think if we had stayed in Boston, or I had had a woman by my side, we wouldn't have these problems with each other and you ... " Ben took a deep breath "... could have had a real childhood. Just as your brothers and sisters."

Adam put his hands in his pockets and looked at the sky. "We cannot change the past, but ..." He looked back at his father. "... I believe the fact that we both stand here and talk, proves that we're on a good way to make it better in future.

For a while they only looked at each other. Then Ben touched his son's shoulder and returned with a nod into the house.

XXX

He hadn't really gotten off his horse, and she already lay in his arm. Her head leaning against his chest, she asked him the same question as Ben and Emillia. "No ... I didn't do it, but it was hard ... very hard."

"I was so worried about you, and that you might choose the wrong path."

He kept on holding her tight and his gaze was directed to the village. "Is your father here, or down in the village?"

Koko raised her head and looked into his eyes. "He's in the village. I think it would be good for you if you might spend a few days with him again."

Sadly, he looked at her. "I would like to, but I don't really have the time. I can't take another break from the ranch work again for an entire week and I don't want to talk of my work at the stations at all."

"Wynono, you have to do it. In your eyes I can realize how strong the bad wolf in you is. Although he's very quiet at the moment, he can still be seen."

"Let me try to talk to your father, then I'll make a decision."

His eyes looked around. "Hoss isn't around?"

She had to smile. It was still hard for Adam to behave towards her as before the wedding. He always made sure that he wasn't too long too close to her. "He's in the barn."

She had hardly finished the sentence, since he already let go of her and went two steps back. She couldn't help a little laugh. "Oh, Adam. Just go to your mountain. Maybe you're a little more relaxed after. I'm going to make fresh coffee for you and Hoss, and then you can go to the village."

Still grinning, she went into the house.

XXX

He had helped Hoss somewhat on the farm and had lunch with him and Koko. He then went on his way to the village. He didn't have to look for Amarok. He was with his father before his tipi. „Taŋyáŋ yahí, Wynono."

Adam greeted Amarok and the chief. "I've heard you were on a special hunt? As you stand here before us, I can assume that you have acted wisely and advisedly as always?"

"It wasn't an easy hunt and I think it's time for me to listen to myself once again and then to reap the benefits of the great mystery."

"Yes, it's been a long time since you were on your journey."

Amarok glanced at his father. "We could leave tomorrow."

"Amarok, if I could I would immediately start off with you, but I just returned back home. I can't leave again for another week or more to go to the mountain."

Adam looked at the mountains and felt again this anger in him crawling up. That he was torn between the responsibility, the sense of duty and what his soul needed to get back to find the silence in itself. "I've told you many moons ago, when you were a young warrior. It won't be easy for you to live in both worlds. I think it's time that I show you how you can find your way back to yourself, without having to always look for solitude."

He touched Adam's arm. "Come on, Wynono."

Adam followed Koko's father in his tipi and sat down in the center, while Amarok prepared a pipe and then sat beside him.

"Look. I've filled this sacred pipe with the bark of the red willow. But before we smoke it, you have to see how it is made and what it means. The four ribbons that hang on the pipe are the four quarters of the universe. The Black is for the west where the thunder entities live who send us the rain. The White for the north, where the large, white, purifying wind comes from. The Red for the east, where the morning star lives, that gifts people with wisdom. The Yellow for the south, where the summer comes from and the power of growth for plants, animals and humans. But these four spirits are only one spirit in the end and this eagle feather here is for the One, who is equal to the Father, and it is also for people's thoughts, which should rise as high as an eagle.

Is not the sky a father and the earth a mother, and are not all living things with feet or wings or roots their children? This animal hide here at the mouthpiece, which is made of buffalo skin, means the earth from which we have come, and at whose breast we suck all our lives like small children along with all the animals and birds and trees and grasses. And because it means all this and more than any human could understand that's why the pipe is sacred.

Wynono, for us the pipe isn't only there to make important decisions or to use it as a soothing in disputes. It's also an important means of understanding in order to be able to speak with the Great Spirit. You'll see that you can go here with me on a journey, so as to get answers to your questions. And you'll find it easier to find your inner balance again. I'm confident that this little journey will help you through the time until you can go to your mountain. Would you like to go with me on this journey?"

Adam looked at the pipe in Amarok's hands. He would be lying if he said now he would like to go on this journey. It was too present in his mind what had happened last time, when he had smoked a cigar with Frederic, and Adam was quite sure what was in this pipe, was stronger by far. "Yes, I'll go with you on this journey."

Amarok lit the fireplace in the middle of the tipi and added a pinch of herbs to the fire. It didn't take long and Adam noticed a slight sweet odor. Amarok spoke the ritual words so slowly that Adam understood them without any problems. Then Amarok moved the bowl through the smoke and showed it in all six directions. From north to south and from east to west and then clockwise ... west, east, north, south, up to the sky and down to the earth. Then he put the pipe down before him and sang softly the song of the sacred pipe. The smoke got denser as Koko's father added another pinch of herbs to the fire in order to honor the Great Spirit, and thus the human voice could be heard through his messenger, the spotted eagle. Adam slowly got a headache from the sweet smell, and he was glad that this was replaced by a smell that reminded him of sage and cedar. Amarok explained that the negative spirits couldn't stand this smell. Everything negative would vanish in this smoke. Then the pipe was again passed in all six directions and moved through the smoke. Now Amarok lit the pipe and the first four puffs were donated to the grandfathers of the cardinal directions. Then he handed it to Adam. Already after the second puff a slight dizziness came on him, and he was glad that he was already sitting on the ground. Again Amarok added more herbs to the fire. It was late August, and after a few minutes sweat ran down Adam's body. He handed the pipe back to Amarok.

"We should thank the Great Spirit."

Adam perceived the voice of Amarok just muffled. As if it was enclosed with cotton wool. His thoughts wandered off. What should he thank HIM for? For the negativity he had experienced so far? That he still had the feeling that all had found their place around him, and only he was still looking and struggling to destroy the wall in himself? Then he looked at Amarok, and he knew what he should thank HIM for. He thanked HIM for all that he had experienced and learned. It had made him mature. It had made him what he was now. He thanked HIM for life. Again he took a few puffs from his pipe. What was happening around him, he wasn't aware of any longer.

"Now we ask the Great Spirit for a favour."

Asking for? For what? For whom? For himself ? For his family and friends? His head pounded. His throat felt rough. His shirt he had taken off a long time before. All of a sudden he knew what he should ask for. That he still had the strength to fight against his worst enemy ... against himself.

It became increasingly difficult for him to concentrate on Amarok's voice. The voice of Koko's father sounded as from another world. He should give something ... .. let go of something ... Adam tried to think in complete sentences. What could he give? His knowledge? His love? His energy? To whom he should give it? What should he let go of? Bad habits? Negative thoughts? His eyes went upward. The tipi seemed so small at once. With a jerk, he bowed his head, looked back into the fire and took another puff from the pipe. He heard his own muffled voice. "Great Spirit, help me to give. Help me to let go of what blocks the right perspective on things for me and hinders my way."

Gradually he had trouble breathing. His body felt as if it had just come out of the water. Adam heard a hiss and the flames before his eyes had gone out. He closed his eyes to find the silence in himself, to eventually get an insight. Would he again experience a vision? When he opened his eyes again, he no longer remembered all the details as in his last journey, but what was clearly to be heard in his mind, were the words ... 'Never give up'.

Amarok handed him a goblet with a drink that tasted very bitter, but the thirst in him was that big that it didn't bother him. "Did you recognize some of the great secret?"

Adam tried to make the least possible movement. He still had the feeling that the ground on which he sat was turning in circles. So he tried to get his eyes fixed only on the body of Amarok. He was the only thing in the tipi that wasn't moving. "That I shall not give up and shall not always question everything. I shall live in the moment."

When Koko's father nodded, Adam closed his eyes quickly, hoping his belly would think about keeping his lunch in him.

"There are four laws that are associated with the great secret."

Adam opened his eyes again.

"The first law says, the person you meet, is the right one. That means no one enters into our lives just by chance. All the people that surround us that talk with us stand for something. Either to teach us or to bring us forward in our situation.

The second law says, what happens is the only thing that could happen. Nothing, absolutely nothing, of what happens to us, could have been different. Not even the most insignificant details.

There is simply no - If I had done things differently ... then it would have been different. ... No, what happens is the only thing that could happen and had to happen so that we learn lessons in order to move on. All, yes, each and every one of the situations that happen to us in life, are absolutely perfect, even if our mind, our ego oppose and don't want to accept it.

The third law says, each moment in which something starts is the right moment. It all starts at the right moment. Not earlier and not later. If we are ready for it, so that something new is going to happen in our lives, it's already there to start it.

The fourth law says, what is over is over. It's that simple. When something ends in our lives, it serves our development. Therefore it's better to let go and move on, blessed with the now made experiences.

Wynono, I believe that it's no coincidence that just now you came to the village. You're here today because you meet the requirement and understand that not a single raindrop falls somewhere in the world by mistake and at the wrong place. Live with your whole being ... Be happy without end. Because think that every day is a gifted day, ... a good day. Because you're alive."

Adam's head followed Amarok, as he stood up. "My Chaska. Today you've come to know a new way of how you can speak with the Great Spirit. It was a certainly very tiring and very long travel for you. You should now go on your way home."

Thankfully Adam took Amarok's offered hand and allowed himself to be helped up. Again he had to close his eyes because everything started turning. When his belly and his head had calmed down a bit, he carefully opened his eyes and looked into the smiling face of Amarok. "The fresh air will do you good."

He raised the leather hide of the opening and Adam immediately felt the fresh air that blew into his face. As he stood in front of the tipi, he took a deep breath, looking out to the dusk. But immediately a cough came over him, he could only suppress with great difficulty. "Here, take this water pouch. You will need it on your way home."

"Thanks ….."

Any more Adam couldn't say at that moment. He had to fight too much with the effects of his journey. He was glad when he finally reached the forest and was alone. With both hands, he leaned against a tree. In his mind the events of the last hour whirled around chaoticly. With wide eyes, he pulled his hands away from the tree. Before his eyes, this tree was on fire and surrounded by a cloud of smoke. Adam ran his hand over his eyes, trying to see clearly again. Then he felt a warmth on his chest and looked down himself, he slumped his shoulders. His shirt was still at the tipi, but Adam didn't want to go back to the village. He just wanted to go home. He looked back at his chest where the snake was moving on its chain and it hissed at him. Aloud he exhaled and tried to tell himself again and again that what he saw wasn't real. He pulled himself together and went on ...

XX

Adam opened his eyes. He was in his old bed and Sarah had snuggled up to him. He put his arm on his forehead. He felt really lousy. His head felt as if he had spent the last few weeks exclusively in the saloon. The memories of the previous day came back and immediately a slight dizziness came over him again. Adam had no clue, how and when he had come home. The last thing he knew was that he had left his breakfast and his lunch in the woods. Very carefully, he sat up and held on to the edge of the bed. When he could be sure that the room wasn't turning any longer, he got up and started freshen up.

Ten minutes later he was sitting at the table, looking in his coffee cup for minutes. "Adam, I don't mean to interfere in your life, but did you have to go? Couldn't you go out with Tom on another day?"

Astonished, he looked at his father. "Tom?"

"Well, I assume that you were out with Tom. With whom else? You only returned in the early morning hours!"

Quite dumbfounded Adam looked at his father. Then the door was flung open and Joe came in. "Good Morning."

He sat on his seat, took a piece of bread and looked at his brother. "Tell me, Adam, where's Sport? He is neither in his stall nor out there."

Adam leaned back and looked from Joe to his father and didn't know what to say at first. He had no idea where Sport or Rusty could be.

"I'm assuming he was taken care of by Hoss and is at the farm in the barn."

Now Ben was stunned. That Adam came back from Hoss this way?

And Adam made a mental note to ride to Koko after breakfast. He needed to talk to her how he could clarify with Amarok that he'd prefer to go on the mountain in future - without offending him.


	62. Chapter 62

"But I don't want to go with you."

Little Joe was standing with arms crossed in front of his father and looked at him stubbornly. "Joseph, when I say you're going with your mother and me to Reno, we won't discuss any further about it."

"Why can't I stay with Adam like Sophie and Sarah?"

He pointed at his brother, who was sitting on the stones in front of the fireplace, drinking his coffee with a grin. "I can't ask Adam to take care of you all."

Joe stomped his feet and looked at the ceiling.

"JOSEPH ...!"

"I can take care of myself. Adam won't notice me at all."

"I doubt that, Joseph, and so the conversation ends here and now. If you still utter a word about it, you are going to muck out the barn for the rest of the year! Understood?"

Joe looked at his brother. "Adam, say something, too ...!"

Adam blew his cheeks and looked around. In his eyes an amused twinkle could be seen. Before he could answer, the door opened and Sarah rushed in, followed by a laughing, squeaky Sophie.

„Wynono …"

Slowly Adam put down the cup and looked at his sister, who was grinning from ear to ear, while Sophie continued running through the living room waving with her arms. "… The Šuŋgléška …."

Sarah's hands didn't stand still, while she tried to find the words that she forgot due to her excitement. „…. waŋná ….. wóžuthi …"

Adam took her hands in his hand, held them and spoke to her still in the language of the Gosiute. "Winona, get air and remember a conversation shouldn't be started hastily and quickly. Take the time to look at the sky, ... search figures in the clouds. Hear the ... "

Sarah shook her head and was about to continue to speak as Ben's loud voice interrupted her. "Adam, ... Sarah ..., didn't I ask you to speak here in the house so that we can all understand it?"

Ben stood behind the settee with his hands akimbo and looked with a scowl at his two children. Then he almost lost his balance because Sophie still ran through the room, and Rusty, who looked at the whole thing as a fun game, ran barking against his legs. 

"SOPHIE ...!"

Since his daughter made no effort to listen to him, he looked at Adam. "Adam, can you please take your dog outside the door?"

Adam tapped a finger against his ear. "Pa, I can't understand you! It's too loud!"

At Adam's face Ben could see he had understood him perfectly well. He was about to turn back to Sophie, as he looked at Sarah again. She stood in front of Adam and made fast movements with her hands. When he saw that his son didn't speak to her, but also used his hands, he knew that the two were talking in the sign language of the Indians. "Adam, it isn't any better, what are you doing, and Sarah, where in God's name is your mother?"

Little Joe, to whom the distraction was very welcome, turned around to run up the stairs, but he was detained by Ben's arm.

"I'm here. What's the matter now?"

Emillia entered the house with Hoss, placed a basket on the table and looked at her husband. "What's going on? I feel like I'm the only one who's still got a little common sense. The others just do what they want and it's ..."

The next words he shouted so loud that immediately all noises in the house were silenced. "... MUCH TOO LOUD HERE !"

Abruptly Sophie stopped, looking with big eyes to her father. Then she ran to Emillia and clung to her skirts. Rusty crouched and crept quietly growling to Adam and lay down beside him. They all jumped when Hoss sat next to Adam laughing loudly. "Brother, you just don't know how nice it is, when you experience the whole thing here only as a guest!"

Instantly Hoss got a stern look from Ben which didn't stop him from continuing to talk to Adam. "What's it all about?"

"Little Joe doesn't want to go to Reno."

Hoss crossed his arms and looked at his little brother, who was still held by Ben's arm. "Can't understand that! Will surely get interesting. Four days with Pa and Ma. Just time to really switch off."

Even Adam crossed his arms now and looked at Joe. "You're right, Hoss. The talks, they will have, during the long walks, or when they go for a reading in the evening."

Hoss sat up straight and hit Adam slightly against the arm. "Adam, the family with that little gal that never left Joe's side doesn't live in Reno by chance?"

Hoss scratched his head. "I just can't remember her name."

"Hoss, ... Adam, would you both stop."

Ben looked back at his wife, "Do you see what I mean? I'm no longer taken seriously here."

Meanwhile Emillia had taken Sophie on her arm. "I'd rather say, you're actually a bit ... unbalanced."

Ben held his breath. Sarah leaned toward Adam and quietly asked him what 'unbalanced' means. As she had understood the explanation, her eyes gleamed. "Pa, then go with Wynono to the mountain. That helps."

Hoss put his arm on Adam's shoulder and burst out laughing with him at the same time. Emillia turned quickly to the table and was looking intensively for something in her basket. Sarah, who noticed by Ben's look that she must have said something wrong looked confused at Adam. Adam stood up and placed a reassuring hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Pa, Joe can stay here. Then the two of you can have four peaceful days."

"A good idea, Adam. Then Pa's no longer so unbalanced."

Joe, who was just floundering full of excitement beside Ben, stood still grinning slightly as his father looked at him. "No way."

Emillia had turned back to the others. "Why not?"

"Because ..." Emillia withstood Ben's gaze. "... I won't leave Adam the responsibility for this anthill while I'm going to enjoy myself."

Adam came to his father's side and put his arm around him. "I'm very relaxed, Pa, you can still go with Emillia to Reno, except ..." He winked and glanced at him. "... you would love to go with me on a small vision journey, so you'll feel better again."

Ben shook Adam's arm off, gave everyone in the house an angry look and went outside. When the door slammed behind him, all of them couldn't help but smirk.

"Adam, you're sure that the whole thing isn't too much for you? You already have your hands full with the girls, and we both know that Joe's always good for a surprise."

Adam looked over at his siblings. "Emillia, you make yourselves have a lovely four days. I'm going to cope with the kids. Most of the time we'll be on the farm anyway." 

Hoss looked at him in astonishment. "Oh, you will?"

"Of course. It's the weekend. Since there's surely some fresh cake, and we cannot allow you having to eat it all alone."

Emillia pressed Adam's Hand. "Thank you so very much. Ben really needs some rest."

Adam nodded and then looked over at Hoss. "Come on now. We've got to do some more work today."

Hoss got up and slapped Adam on the back. "Hey, don't you forget that I'm only here to help you. So you don't need to drive me on work just because you can't manage your tasks."

Adams view wasn't any better than Ben's a few minutes ago.

XXXX

Adam stood in front of the post office and just skimmed through Frederic's letter, when he saw out of the corner of his eye, that the first children had left the school building. As it had taken him longer in town today he had decided to wait for Little Joe, and then to ride home with him. The whole thing was convenient for him as he wanted to talk to his brother about what he wanted to do when Ben and Emillia would start off for their short holidays in two days. Adam had read the letter while resting and put it in his saddlebag. Little Joe still couldn't be seen. With a slight groan, he made his way to the school building. Adam was sure that Joe had been in detention again. As he stood in front of the building, Mr. Conner just locked the door. "Adam, good to see you again. What can I do for you?"

Astonished Adam looked around. "I'm looking for Joe. I'm quite sure I haven't missed him."

Mr. Conner put his hat on and tucked the bag under his arm, after he had put away the key. "He was one of the first to have left the building, as he is so often."

Adam looked around. Joe's horse was still tied at the trees, so his brother couldn't yet be on the way home. "Thank you, Mr. Conner. Then I'll go look for him. He can't be that far."

"Do that, and greetings to your parents from me."

Adam nodded and with hands akimbo he wondered where his brother could be. In fact he remembered only one place. But should his brother really already think of that? With Rusty by his side he went around the school building to the small shed. His eyebrows raised, when he saw his little brother just kissing a girl. Adam grabbed Joe's shoulder and turned him over.

"Hey, what ..."

Joe looked into Adam's angry face and fell silent. Adam looked at the girl who glanced at him embarrassed. "I think it's better if you start going home now."

"Can I walk Dianne home?"

His brother cocked his head and one glance was enough that Joe looked down. Adam waited until Dianne was out of earshot. "Can you please tell me what that was about?"

Without looking at Adam Joe shrugged. "Surely isn't forbidden to kiss a girl."

"Can you please look at me when I'm talking to you?"

Annoyed Joe looked at him. "You needn't to growl at me like that. I did nothing wrong."

Adam pointed in the direction in which the girl had left. "Little Joe, Dianne is just twelve years old. You can be happy if she won't tell anything at home.

Otherwise, I can assure you that not ten minutes later Mr. Doohan will be on the Ponderosa, and you'll have a very intense talk with Pa in the barn."

"But I find her nice. So why mustn't I kiss her?"

Adam rolled his eyes. "Didn't we both have a talk about how to behave properly towards girls?"

Although he slightly blushed, he looked at Adam somehow offended. "Yes, and what? You're not holding onto it yourself!"

Totally baffled Adam looked at his brother. "I'm doing WHAT?"

With sweeping arm movements and a much too loud voice Little Joe talked to Adam. "Why should different rules apply for me, as for you? You don't always kiss the same girl, even I already understood that you haven't only kissed Yvette."

It was rare that Adam was dumbstruck, but now it took him a moment to continue to talk to Little Joe. "I'm not fourteen any more. And unlike you, I know what I'm doing."

His little brother crossed his arms and looked at him challenging. "I also know what I'm doing."

Adam briefly held his breath, then took Joe on the upper arm and dragged him to the horses. "Let go off me! You're not Pa!"

Adam stopped and looked at Little Joe angry. "No, I'm not, but if you don't want that Pa finds out about this, and you still don't want to go to Reno, you should start gradually to listen to me."

First, Joe wanted to give him a hefty response, but Adam's stance intimidated him considerably. So he tried to look back at him just as angry, then he went quietly muttering to his horse. "But someday I'll be as grown as you, and then you'll have nothing more to tell me."

"JOE, UP ON YOUR HORSE."

XXX

Joe sat on the fence and watched the horses in the paddock. After the incident two days ago he was still mad at Adam. He had really done nothing else than his brother. After all Pa never said anything about that. So you hadn't to be married to a girl, if you wanted to kiss her.

Annoyed he threw a small stone on the lawn. Why did he have to go with Adam to Koko and Hoss? He rather would have stayed at home, although he wouldn't have known what to do there. After Greg's death, he had found no other real friend with whom he could spend time on the weekend. "You aren't still mad at me, are you?"

Joe glanced sideways as his brother joined him at the fence. "Joe, don't you tell me you don't really understand what this is about?"

Again Joe threw a stone on the ground. "It's not just about that. You all treat me just like Sophie and Sarah. I'm never allowed to do anything alone and shall always to be told to tell you where I'm going - and woe, if I'm ten minutes late."

"You already know that this isn't so."

"Of course this is so. I mean, I have to go with you to Koko and Hoss, while you allow Sarah to visit Aponi in the village."

"Joe ... at the ranch you'd have been alone, and Aponi and Amarok are with Winona alongside all the other children in the village."

"Why do you always fear that I'm getting up to some nonsense?"

Adam scratched his forehead. "Because you're always getting up to some nonsense?"

Angrily Joe tossed the remaining stones on the ground. "Little Joe, if you could show us only one time that you stay with one thing and do what you were asked to, we would trust you even more. But the only thing you do perfectly at the moment is to dodge work."

"That's not true!"

"Joe, how many times have you ridden out with me lately?"

Joe didn't need to answer. That he turned his eyes to the ground was enough.

Adam exhaled deeply and slapped Joe against the leg. "Look, Joe. I've got something for you. If you can manage to stay on this matter more than two weeks, I will trust you even more."

Joe's voice reflected his lack of enthusiasm. "And what kind of work should I do? Repair all the fences at the West pasture?"

Adam tried to not get worked up.

"Come with me."

Markedly slowly Little Joe climbed of the fence and followed his brother to the other paddock.

"Do you see the foal there?"

Still bored Joe looked to the horses. "The painted?"

"Exactly. I want you to take care of the foal, and if you can manage that you can ride it, it's yours."

Disbelieving Joe looked at him. "I shall take care of a foal all alone?"

"That's the way it looks. It's from the village, and Joe ..." He put a hand on his brother's shoulder and looked at him kindly. "... Winona has chosen it for you. Before the cattle drive she had seen how it was born and then looked after it all the time. But when your horse was shot in the valley, she immediately thought of you and asked Amarok if you could have it."

Insecure Little Joe looked at the foal and then back to Adam. "But I've never taken care of a horse alone and certainly not of a foal."

Adam put his arm around Joe and went closer to the fence with him.

"It can be separated from his mother no earlier than the beginning of the coming year, and you can ask Hoss or me and of course Koko any time. We'll help you in anyway and stand by you. Do you think you can accept such a responsibility?"

Very slowly Little Joe nodded. "Then go ahead, and make friends with your horse."

Carefully Joe climbed over the fence and approached the foal, and Adam leaned against the fence and watched his brother.

"Do you think he manages to do it?"

Adam straightened up a little and turned to Koko now standing beside him. "I think he just needs a real task. Then he will certainly begin to realize what it means to take responsibility, and that you have to think about decisions. ... I thought, you were staying longer in the village."

"My mother and I have decided that today we will all have supper down in the village. That's why I'm already back to pack up and pick you up."

"Alright." He stood straight and looked at the house. "Sophie will soon wake up. Then we can set off."

Koko had to grin. "My father's looking forward to seeing you. Later he wants to sit with you at the campfire."

Adam's eyes widened. "You haven't talked to him yet? Just what I thought!"

In despair he looked at her. "Koko, what should I say to him? I do know what meaning the pipe has for you, so how can I explain to him that I don't want to go again on such a journey, without him being disappointed in me?"

Nervously, he walked along the fence. "Koko, to the present day I cannot remember where I've been half of the night. And I found it not funny that I didn't know where I left Sport." 

Koko couldn't stop grinning. "But he was well taken care of. Just as Rusty." 

"You're seeing the whole thing probably as being very funny."

She held her hand over her mouth, but in her eyes he could still see that she kept on laughing. "I'm sorry, Adam, ... but when you haven't been back in the evening, and my mother told me that my father and you smoke the sacred pipe to speak with the Great Spirit, Hoss and I believed that you were going to sleep in the village. Noone could guess how you would react to this ritual, and I just imagine that you might have been sitting somewhere and howling at the moon like a wolf."

Adam stopped and put his hands akimbo. "And that's what I don't want to imagine. That's why I don't want to lose control again."

She came a little closer and took his hand. "It won't have been quite so bad ..." Koko tried to keep a straight face. "... otherwise we certainly knew already where you have been."

Before he could say anything, she put her index finger at his lips.

"Wynono, you've been very close to my world for many years, but in your veins there still isn't flowing the blood of Gosiute. There, the young warriors are made familiar with the ritual very early and therefore are accustomed to it. But for you it was the first journey of this kind. My father will certainly not be disappointed in you if you tell him about the implications. For him, you won't be a coward. On the contrary, he will be watching your frankness as very brave, and you cannot deny that the journey did you well, apart from the side effects."

Adam knew she was right, but the price was too high for him. "You won't talk to him?"

"No, and you needn't to look at me with those big puppy eyes. You'll need to clarify with him alone."

He exhaled and looked at the sky.

"You'll make it, and tonight you will certainly not speak with the Great Spirit."

She leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Adam's eyes widened when he saw Hoss coming out of the house at this moment. He stumbled back two steps and bumped very rudely against the fence. Chuckling, Hoss put his arm around Adam's shoulder. "You know, Koko, I think if my big brother finally spent a Saturday night in town again, and I don't talk about a visit to Tom, he wouldn't be so permanently 'unbalanced'."

Completely flabbergasted Adam looked at Hoss, and Koko almost couldn't help laughing again. "Excuse me, guys. I'm going to pack up things. You can continue to talk about your problems of being 'unbalanced'."

Adam watched her and couldn't believe that he was already dumbfounded for the second time within a week.

XX

Ben looked again to the contract in his hands, and after he had signed it, he handed it back to Adam. "The passage of the penalty you could have left out."

Adam looked to the contract. "You reckon with having delivery problems?"

"Only if I've got to throw my son, because he has become so cheeky since he's back from Boston."

Adam put his hand on his chest and played the innocent. "Should I have signed the contract with another timber supplier?"

"Go right ahead, son."

Ben walked around the desk and sat down in his chair. "How are things actually going with the railway company? Are you still on schedule?"

Adam sat on the edge of the table and played with the paperweight.

"We are, but I'm a little worried whether the route will really come off this way."

Irritated Ben leaned back. "Why should the company suddenly stop the construction? They have already invested a lot of money into the project."

Adam laid the paperweight back on the table and crossed his arms. "The conflict between the South and the North heats up more and more. Especially now that California has committed itself to the North. Should it come to the worst, the construction will certainly recede into the background."

Slowly Ben leaned forward. "You don't think that there will be a war, do you?"

Adam shrugged. "I don't know, but at the moment I only see that the two parties drift increasingly apart, rather than to meet each other."

"That would mean a considerable loss for your company, quite apart from all the other terrible things that might happen."

"That wouldn't be that bad. We are contractually well secured, and we also get enough other requests. But I'm going to discuss the whole thing with Frederic when he comes for a few days to Virginia City in spring. We are soon completed in Fremont, and then he'll travel to Salt Lake City."

"You don't seem to be very thrilled about it. Does it get too much for you?"

He again took the paperweight in his hand. "I wondered right from the start, why the railway company has signed the contract with Frederic, who had only just graduated, and then has entrusted us with such a big project right after I joined."

His gaze was directed downward and Ben looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Yes, and …?"

"Just after Christmas I met Mr. Sundberg in Reno, and we talked about the current state. I've asked him straight, and the answer didn't leave me excited at all."

Again he paused, which was hard for Ben to endure. "He told me that they've naturally inquired about Frederic, and with whom he works ... They have talked to Mr. Francois, who has given them the advice, to influence Frederic that I should join in the company."

"This is a normal procedure. We wouldn't do it differently, if we placed a larger order."

Adam put back the paperweight and stood up. "But I don't like that. Without the intervention of Frederic's father we wouldn't have won. This was again a successful attempt to surreptitiously tie me to him."

Also Ben stood up and walked in front of the desk. "Adam, that's something you'll never be able to prevent. Frederic's father is a man of significance in this business, and his opinion is heard. And don't tell me that it wasn't of any advantage for you one time or another that you're my son ..."

Adam sat down in the blue chair and looked at the floor. "... And it's the company of Frederic and you and not his father's. Do you think …."

Adam already wasn't listening any longer. His mind wandered off and landed on his last journey to the great mystery. What did Amarok tell him then? … 'Nothing, absolutely nothing, of what happens to us, could have been different. Not even the most insignificant details. There is simply no - If I had done things differently ... then it would have been different. ... No, what happens is the only thing that could happen and had to happen so that we learn lessons in order to move on. All, yes, each and every one of the situations that happen to us in life, are absolutely perfect, even if our mind, our ego oppose and don't want to accept it.'

Didn't all four laws of his vision quest meet in this moment? That you didn't meet no person simply by chance? That this all happened at the right moment? Adam leaned back and knew that if he wanted to accept the first three laws, he had to obey the fourth law first. Finally let go in order to start something new.

"Adam? ... "

Adam looked at his father. "Have you been listening to me at all?"

He smiled and stood up. "I did, Pa, and you have helped me a lot."

Ben frowned. "Did I?"

Before Adam could say anything, the door was flung open and Little Joe rushed in. Closely followed by Sarah. "Can't you just leave me alone?"

He turned to Sarah, who looked at him with narrowed eyes. „Táku wówiȟaya ečhúŋ kiŋ óta."

Joe took a step toward her. "What did you say?"

„UŋzéksA."

"Winona ...!"

Sarah turned to Adam, who looked at her annoyed. Then she ran toward him. "But it's true."

"Adam, what did she say? That was surely something nasty."

Ben looked at the two. "Can you please tell me what this is all about again?"

With rolling eyes he looked at the ceiling. "I can't open the door of the damn tack room and Madam Smart-Aleck wants to tell me why it doesn't work."

"And why don't you just come in and ask for help?"

Sarah put her hands in her pockets and leaned slightly ahead. "Yellow and uŋzéksA."

"Winona, ... I've already told you a few times that you shouldn't use that word."

Sarah looked down. "Sorry."

"Pest!"

"I'm not!"

Ben grabbed Joe's shoulder. "I think we both need to go out and look at the problem with the door, and Adam, you can tell your sister something about sibling love. Otherwise I'll do that, but in my own way."

Sarah looked at Adam with wide eyes. "Barn?"

Adam just nodded and his sister shook her head anxiously. "Wynono, I can sleep tonight in your house?"

Adam had to smile. "Of course. Pack your things and then come out. I'll tell Pa about it."

Beaming with joy Sarah ran upstairs, and Adam went outside.

His father just came back from the tack room. "It was no big deal. Someone has put something into the lock, so that the key didn't fit. "

Past his father Adam watched Little Joe. "Mhh, and I can already guess who that was. The one who should clean the tack room tomorrow?"

Shaking his head, Ben looked at his youngest son. "Adam, will it ever happen, that it will get quieter one day? If that doesn't change soon, I prefer to move into your house."

"Pa, you stay pretty here in your house and enjoy the life around you. And remember, it'll get even better. Now that Koko's expecting a baby, ... Granpa!"

Ben's head snapped around. "The baby isn't here yet."

"I'm ready."

With a small bag Sarah came running out of the house, and Ben looked at her questioningly. "I promised her that she can spend the night at my house."

Ben exhaled loudly. "It would be nice if you were to ask me before you promise her something." 

"Pa, ... please …"

Tight-lipped Ben looked at his two children. "Alright, but mind your manners."

Beaming she handed Adam her bag. "Always! Wynono, may I bring Sport into the barn?"

„Sure!"

Sarah ran off and took Adam's horse by the reins. But she didn't go in the direction of his house, but to the next bench. She climbed the bench and then into the saddle. Horrified Ben watched the scene.

"Sarah, ...!"

Adam held him back by the arm as he wanted to storm to her. "Leave her be. She knows what she's doing."

Ben looked at him. "She's way too young for that, and certainly not on your high-spirited horse."

"Pa, relax. In the village all the children are already sitting at the age of three years on a horse, and Sport remains surprisingly calm with her. She knows she can take him only into the barn, and don't ride with him elsewhere."

Pretty mad Ben turned to his son. "You seem to have already forgotten that you're just her brother and I'm her father. I wish that you would talk with me first about something like that."

"I'm trying to remember."

"You needn't to grin like that. I'm serious."

"I will then go again."

He went off, and without turning around, he waved to his father. "Adam, ... I wish you at least three of your kind, and then we will talk again."


	63. Chapter 63

Adam put his jacket over the saddle and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. For early March it was already quite warm during the day. While putting his jacket in the saddlebag, his eyes fell on the saloon and he decided to drink a beer before he rode back home. "Come on Rusty, we're going to have a quick beer."

The dog cocked her head, when she saw that Adam didn't mount his horse, but walked off. Then she turned in circles three times and curled up under Sport. Adam crossed his arms and looked at his dog. "Tell me, could it be that you've become lazy over winter? Well, then wait and see when we soon start to round up the cattle. Then it's done with the sleeping."

He leaned forward slightly his hands akimbo. "You're a young dog, ... you should run around ... not doze half the day."

Rusty's response consisted of a deep snort. Adam waved and went into the saloon. He took a long sip and closed his eyes pleasurably as cold beer flowed down his throat. Then he put the glass on the counter and was glad that he had decided to go into the saloon. His eyes fell on the mirror behind the counter, and he had to groan inwardly. Why couldn't he just enjoy his beer in peace?

"Look, Buck. Our wimp is back in Virginia City after winter."

Adam put his hands on the counter, bowed his head slightly and took a deep breath. He looked at his chain and asked his guardian spirit to give him the strength not to be provoked. Then he slowly turned around and leaning his elbows on the counter, he stood opposite his two "friends".

"How little brains you've actually got, Mitch, that you never come up with something new?"

"More than you, Indian lover."

Mitch looked at Adam's chain. "After your brother married the halfbreed, are you playing completely Indian now? Painting your face and attacking settlers with the savages?"

Adam didn't answer him. He just looked at him and shook his head barely noticeably. Buck slapped his friend on the arm. "Hey Mitch, I think Adam no longer speaks our language. But you have to understand him! Where else can you live with several women at the same time, except for the Redskins."

Mitch laughed aloud. "Or he can wear his mother's things, without notice and now has forgotten to take of the chain this morning. You just never know what them savages are up to in their village. Is that right? Is that Mommy's necklace?"

Mitch went to grab the chain. When Adam quickly held his hand and then squeezing increasingly, he twisted it piece by piece. Mitch's eyes were getting bigger and bigger as he was hardly able to stand on his own feet because of the pain. He couldn't deny that he was dealing with fear as he looked in Adam's cold eyes. "... Buck ...!"

His friend stood quite dumbfounded next to him and first didn't know what to do. But then he rushed forward and tried to throw himself against Adam. However, at that moment Adam let go of Mitch's hand, to instantly grab him by the collar and press him on a nearby table. Buck had so much momentum that he slammed very painfully with his head against the counter. Adam now almost lay on Mitch. His voice was low and threatening. "If you don't stop constantly uttering such crap, you'll be dead no later than the end of the year."

Mitch gave him a dirty grin. "Huh, you don't believe it yourself. For this you are too much a coward. You couldn't even bump off the killer of that boy. You're still a wimp, Cartwright, and now you even walk around like a girl."

Mitch's grin grew even larger. "Is that the reason why your brother has married the halfbreed? Because you'd rather want to be a girl?"

Again Mitch laughed out loud. "Sure your savage friends comply with all your secret dreams. How y..."

Mitch's eyes grew even bigger when he was grabbed and pulled up. Then Adam drew back and punched him. Mitch staggered backwards, but with a pleased laugh, he caught himself pretty fast and went off for Adam. It wasn't long and three tables had been broken, as well as all the glasses and bottles that were on the other tables. As Mitch's strength slowly ran out, Adam grabbed him by the collar and pushed him on the counter this time. With his other hand he had pulled his gun and held it to Mitch's nose. "Are you still thinking I'm a coward?"

"ADAM, ... put the gun away ... NOW …!"

Only very slightly Adam's head turned to the side. "At some point, Mitch, we're going to have our last conversation, and then you will complain that I don't shoot you, and it will be my pleasure to pull the trigger."

His voice was so threatening that Mitch knew that Adam had meant every single word. "We will see who is complaining of the both of us, Cartwright."

Adam put away his gun, let go of Mitch and went back two steps. Mitch stood up straight and rubbed his hand. With arms crossed, Adam looked at Tom, who stepped between the two. "And I was hoping that you had finally grown up this year. Since I know this game already for years, you're going to pay together for the damage."

Tom turned to the bartender, but without letting Mitch and Adam out of sight. "What do you think? How much is the damage?"

The bartender looked around and exhaled deeply. "I think with three hundred the two will come off well."

"Alright, you have this much money?"

Mitch looked at the floor, while Adam grinned at him cheeky, took his money out and handed Tom one hundred and fifty dollars. "I'm still wanting twenty-five more."

Surprised Adam looked at him. "The fine, my friend. For again taking the Saloon apart. At some point you've got to learn it once and for all, and if you don't have the money, then you're welcome to spend a night in the cell."

Grumpely Adam handed his friend the remaining money. When Tom put it away, he looked at Mitch. "And what about you?"

Mitch watched Buck who just pulled himself up from the floor holding his head. "How much money do you have, Buck?"

Still slightly dazed, Buck looked around. "Think might be about eighty dollars."

Mitch held out his open hand. With eyes directed at the ceiling, Buck rummaged for his money and handed it visibly annoyed to his friend who had just gathered his money. "Here, ... I guess we can leave then, or ... Deputy?"

"Yes, you can, and I don't want to see you around here any longer. Understood?"

"Pah! Even you will be in for it some day."

Mitch pulled Buck by the arm out of the saloon. Tom waited a moment, then pushed Adam towards the exit. As soon as they were outside, he snapped at him. "What are you doing, Adam? Is that how it's to be going on for the next twenty years?"

Adam tried to stay calm and not to vent his anger about Mitch and and himself at Tom. "What should I do? No longer go into town or like a coward cross the street, when I see him?"

"No longer be provoked."

"Tom, you know as well as I do that this isn't possible. I cannot always put up with everything. Otherwise I will really have the reputation of a coward someday."

Now Tom stood with hands akimbo in front of him. "But still better than being hanged. I saw your eyes, buddy. Don't you tell me that you weren't on the verge of pulling the trigger."

Adam bit his lips and looked away. "Tom, I just wanted to have a beer and then go again. I certainly didn't wake up this morning and thought, this will be a fine day to shoot Mitch."

The deputy rubbed the palm of his hand over his forehead. "I don't know as well what you can do. I can't watch you getting provoked so that you're ready to commit murder, and it would have been if you hadn't been stopped."

Adam stood before him with his eyes closed, put his hand to his mouth and breathed audibly deep in and then out again. Then he dropped his arms again. "I really should gradually learn to just turn around and go."

"I'd love to help you, buddy, but I've got no solution at hand. But in the next few weeks you won't even meet. Since you'll hardly have a chance to come into town."

Adam nodded and pulled his hat deeper into his face. "I'm on my way home." 

"Will I see you before the round up?"

His friend grinned. "What will you have for dinner on Sunday?"

Tom laughed and raised his finger. "But be on time and be prepared that Sybil will tell you off, because you ended up in a fight again. Just as your eye looks, it's turning beautifully black."

Adam slapped his friend on the arm and walked to his horse.

XXX

"Aydo ..."

Sophie came running toward him. Adam threw his hat on the sideboard, crouched down and opened his arms. "Well, you little buttercup. Can you still not decide whether you call me Adam or Wynono?"

She hugged him and then leaned against him and showed him her doll. "There ... Aydo play."

He smiled at her. "Not today, my little buttercup. I have to discuss something with Pa."

"Wynono ..."

Sarah came down the stairs and threw herself so hard into his arm that she bumped into Sophie, who thern fell on her butt. She started to cry and scream right away.

"Ooohh, ... crybaby."

"Winona, ... what's this? Apologize to your sister."

Adam helped Sophie and took her in his arms. Sarah looked at her brother angrily. "That didn't hurt. She's always crying so much."

Astonished Adam looked at his sister. "Hey, Sunshine. What's wrong?"

Sarah looked from her sister to Adam. "Nothing."

"Sarah. I think you should go to your room and think about the 'nothing'."

With her hands in her pockets, narrowed eyes and a scowl Sarah looked at her mother, who just came out of the kitchen. Then she turned around to ran up the stairs. The banging of the door could certainly be heard in the village. Slowly Adam rose and looked questioningly Emillia who grinned shaking her head.

"What's wrong with her? Yesterday she was already quite strange with me after church."

Emillia took up Sophie, who was still quietly sobbing. "You can really tell that you have just grown up with boys. Your Sunshine is jealous. Yesterday morning you took more care of Sophie than of her."

Adam raised his eyebrows and looked astonished towards the stairs. "I only helped Sophie get dressed."

"Yes, and then you have taken her on your arm and taken her to the carriage." Softly Emillia laughed. "That's enough to make a little lady jealous. But don't worry. That'll go by, and I've already talked with her. You should just make sure that if you do something with Sophie, it differs from what you do with Sarah."

Quite puzzled Adam was still trying to understand where the problem actually was. "That'll be so anyway. Sophie is very different from Winona. They don't have the same interests. Sophie is happy when she can play with her doll while Winona likes best to be with me down in the village."

Emillia put Sophie on the ground, as she had now calmed down. "So make sure that the Indians stay something special between you and Sarah. When she realizes that you don't take Sophie so much to the village, everything will be all right."

Adam exhaled and scratched his ear. "That was a little easier with Hoss and Little Joe."

"Those were boys. Girls are little ladies and very special."

Adam, ..." The door opened and Ben came in. "… already back? Didn't you want to ride to check the fences at the northern slope this afternoon?"

"Yes, sure. But I waited in vain for Joe. We actually arranged to meet there, but knowing him, he forgot about it."

Ben had laid aside his things and went to his desk. "No he didn't. I told him he can stay at home."

Astonished Adam followed his father into the office. "But why? I wanted to show him some before we start with work next week."

Ben didn't look at him. "You needn't. Little Joe won't help you this year."

Adam was standing right in front of the desk, his hands supported on his belt, his head slightly askew and his forehead drawn into wrinkles. "And why not?"

Ben pushed some papers on his table from left to right. "He's not ready yet."

Now Adam put his hands on the desk and leaned slightly ahead. His voice wasn't loud, but very determined. "And when do you think he will be ready? When he's fifty?"

Ben's head snapped up and he looked at his son angrily. "You don't need to get cheeky, son."

Adam stood straight. "Then tell me why he wasn't to work with me out there as agreed!"

Ben didn't avoid his gaze. "Because I say so."

Adam put his hands akimbo and his voice grew louder. "What's up, Pa? This hasn't got anything to do with what happened last summer?"

"You won't have the time to take care of Joe. So it's better if we wait another two or three years before he's set."

Ben went into the living room.

Emillia had meanwhile grabbed Sophie and had gone back to the kitchen, because she knew that the conversation could get louder. Completely flabbergasted Adam looked at his father. "Two or three years? ... Joe will be fifteen this year. At that age I had already broken horses, and you won't even trust Joe to repair a fence? Let alone to drive cattle along with me?"

"You needn't to yell around here. I've made a decision and that's it. You cannot compare Little Joe with you. At fifteen you were already half a man, while Joe is still a little boy."

Adam hadn't lowered his voice, he was just too stunned. "He'll be a little boy five years from now, if you don't finally let him participate. How do you justify that? Hoss will help me this year, but he also expects that Joe finally works more at the ranch so that he can dedicate all of his work to the farm. Are you coming to the camp next week instead of Joe?"

His father now faced him and looked at him as angry as he was. "Joe's my son, and when I tell you he isn't ready, then he isn't ready. And no, I won't come up next week. On Thursday I'm leaving for Carson City for two weeks. I'm going to meet there with some timber purchasers. We want to talk about this year's contracts."

In disbelief Adam shook his head. "Now, at this time? When there's so much to do at the ranch, you're going away?"

Ben nudged his son with his finger in the chest. "You wanted to have more responsibility. Now you get it, and then it isn't right again? Then you should consider giving up your interest with the stations. Then you'll have more time for your work here."

Adam could feel as the bad wolf got ready to attack, but fortunately he had it under control so far that he only glared at his father, then took his hat and left the ranch.

When Adam reached the farm with Rusty in the evening, he was still very furious. His long ride had been unable to calm him down. He dismounted and knocked on the door. Hoss had hardly opened it, when he walked past him, threw his hat in the corner and threw himself on the settee, where he looked into the fire with his arms crossed. Hoss shrugged and looked questioningly at Koko. She clicked her tongue and turned back to the kitchen. "I think I'm going to fix some tea."

Hoss sat down in the chair and waited for Adam to begin to tell him what had upset him so much. Only when Koko joined and handed a cup of tea to him, he looked at the two properly for the first time. "Why is he just so worried about Little Joe?"

Koko and Hoss looked again questioningly. "What do you mean, Adam?"

His brother looked at him briefly, put the cup on the table, crossed his arms and looked back into the fire. "And of course he's taking advantage of this situation and laughs his head off."

Koko sat next to him and touched his arm, and because Adam didn't move away from her, she was sure that a powerful storm raged in him. "If you could tell us exactly what happened, we might be able to help you."

Adam leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Pa doesn't want Little Joe to work with me out at the range this year. He says he's not ready yet, but I'm sure it has to do with what happened last year. He's just afraid that I won't constantly have an eye on him, and to make matters worse, my dear father told me, he may have to drive to Carson City for two weeks."

Adam opened his eyes, but kept looking at the ceiling. "Adam, you know Pa. He has always been worried about Little Joe from the very beginning. That's why Joe always could allow himself much more than the two of us."

Adam looked at his brother and growled at him. "And does that mean, he never needs to participate in the work?"

He felt how Koko tightened the pressure on his arm. "That's not what Hoss wanted to say. What he meant was that you should understand his behavior."

"But I can't."

"Did you yell at each other again?"

"What do you think, Hoss? He can't treat me like a little boy."

"Didn't you try to take away his fear?"

He glanced over to Koko. "Nope."

"Uhhhm Adam, ..." Hoss scratched a little nervous at the armrest of the chair. "... don't you think you should go up to the mountain before the round up? I think then you could talk with Pa really calmly about Joe."

Very slowly Adam turned his head to Hoss. "I don't need no mountain to talk better with Pa. He just has to finally let go of his baby."

"Wynono ..." She waited until he looked at her. "... I think Hoss's right, and you know it well. You would have certainly not quarreled with your father, if the bad wolf wasn't as strong in you at the moment. Hoss and I felt for several weeks, what a storm rages in you, and I think the brawl last week in the saloon has done the rest."

Adam exhaled loudly and leaned his head back. Why did he feel this uneasiness that was in him, always too late? Why did he try to oust it constantly? It had begun already at Christmas, when they were all sitting by the fire on the Ponderosa and he had felt very lonely in spite of the many people around. Then the conversation with Mr. Sundberg in Reno; that he still didn't know until today, where he had been after smoking the sacred pipe; the winter, and that he couldn't be active enough. The encounter with Mitch and Buck had been the final straw. If he was honest with himself, he had been waiting to vent his pent-up anger at someone, and his father had given him this perfect occasion.

"Wynono, keep working to show more of your feelings or to talk about what's bothering you. Then it won't happen so often that worries build up so much in your heart that the bad wolf comes to light."

'If anyone has realized a problem and does not contribute to solving the problem, he himself is the problem.' Although he lived thereafter for many years, he still hadn't managed to implement it for himself. "I can't go away now. Frederic wanted to come in spring. What if he comes exactly in this week? We have to meet because we have to discuss some details that we can't do by mail."

"Adam, should your friend come, I'll get you. Promise. But you have to find your peace, otherwise you'll have no cowboys left after the round up, because you will have driven them out with your mood."

Adam sat up straight and held his hand over his eyes. When he took it away, Koko and Hoss could see how tired and done he looked. "I'll get you something stronger than tea, big brother. I think you can cope with a good drink."

He got up and went into the kitchen. Koko took Adam's hand and spoke to him in the language of the Gosiute. "Wynono, could it be that you're still highly concerned about your lost night?"

He nodded. "You know how much I hate when I don't have control over my actions."

"But don't you think if you had done something that others might have hurt, harassed or even amused you wouldn't already know it?"

"Koko, my thoughts keep returning to this evening and I can't make my mind remember what happened in the forest and afterwards. I must have come home somehow. And even if I walked very slowly, I would never have needed almost six hours for the way home."

"You can't undo what has happened. Don't live in the past. Don't live in the future. Live the moment. Because that's just the thing."

He smiled at her. "That doesn't make it better."

"Go to the mountain and you'll see, afterwards it'll be better. You'll have a clear view of things again."

How he wished he could take her in his arms now. Then simply sit back in order again to find his balance. Meanwhile Hoss had returned and gave his brother a glass of whiskey. "Should I be bothered about what you were just talking about?"

Koko smiled at her husband and Adam stood up. "I think this is your place, and I take the chair."

"Stay seated, Adam. It was just a joke."

Adam sat down in the chair. "No Hoss, it's better that way. Today, it wouldn't be enough to keep only Rusty in my arm."

In the chair he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, and as Hoss and Koko realized that Adam was still occupied by much more than he had told them, they left him alone.

XX

Joe sat on the fence of the schoolyard. Again he had gone through another boring weekend. At first he had been pleased when his father had told him it wasn't necessary for him to work with Adam. But now he was a bit disappointed that his father had apparently no trust in him. There must have been a fierce quarrel between Pa and Adam, because his brother had surprisingly left early this morning for his mountain and wanted to come back but not till Saturday. He watched the other kids. He still had found no other best friend. Although he spent sometimes the afternoon with one or the other, it wasn't the same as with Greg. The only thing now that made him always happy, was his foal. While it had grown quite nicely, he still didn't want to say horse. Joe had never thought how much fun it would be, to take care of an animal, and Adam had said he could keep it if he really cared for it. It would certainly take still a good two years before he could ride Cochise, but this time he'd manage.

"Hi, Joe."

Little Joe turned slightly to see who was behind him. In astonishment his mouth dropped open, and he had to look twice, who was standing there. "Jörn?"

Jörn grinned at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I haven't even thanked you for saving me from Bonecrusher Paul."

Joe turned and jumped down from the fence. "You came here all the way from Nevada City to thank me?"

Jörn grinned cheekily and nodded.

"You're quite crazy."

"I just had nothing else to do." He looked to the school building. "Do you have time to talk a bit?"

Little Joe also looked around. It was just lunch break and he had the whole day ahead, but then he was too curious to get to know, what Jörn was really doing here. "Wait, I'll be right back."

He climbed over the fence and then walked very slowly into the building. Shortly after, he came back with his head hung down and took his horse. When he was at the height of Jörn, he shook his head slightly as the guy looked at him in astonishment.

"Let's first be out of sight. Mr. Connor's still at the door and surely will look out for me."

Joe grinned at him from the side. "I told him, I have terrible bellyache and want to go home." 

"And there they always say, I'm cunning."

The two boys ran grinning further down the road until they were sure that Mr. Conner couldn't see them any longer. Then they jumped on the horses and galloped out of town.

A little later they were at the lake in the meadow and enjoyed the March sun. "Now tell me Jörn, what really brings you to Virginia City?"

"I've told you. I wanted to thank you."

Joe turned to the side leaning on his arm. "You could have easily come back to the yard to help me and not just left."

Jörn sat down, pulled his legs up and then leaned on his knees. "We both would have stood no chance against Paul. Since I knew that, I was looking for the sheriff, but I didn't find him right away. And then you were instantly gone with the Sheriff."

"And I asked myself, who gave the sheriff notice that he was in the yard so quickly."

Jörn looked at him from the side. "Oh, I wanted to talk to you personally but just the next day you had already left town."

"And how do you know that I am from Virginia City? We still haven't spoken about that."

A big grin appeared on Jörn's face. "Yvette told me. I should also send her regards to your brother, and she's looking forward to seeing him again, if he's in the city once again."

Now Joe sat up and looked at him with big eyes. "You talked to Yvette?"

"Sure, and she is really nice. She has ..." The grin disappeared from his face and his voice was a little quieter. He looked at the lake. "... helped me when no one else did."

Joe realized that there had to be something more behind the fact that Jörn was here now. "Jörn, why are you really here?"

Jörn sat down now cross legged and plucked some blades of grass. "I ran away."

"Run away? Why? Did you do something wrong?"

The boy shrugged. "Yes, …. well, actually no. "

He ripped again a bunch of grass. "My mother died three years ago, and since then my father took more care of the whiskey than the farm. Shortly after you were gone, he was shot when he was dead drunk. First, no one has really cared what happens to me, and I didn't find it so bad. If I was hungry or wanted to talk, Yvette was there. But then the Sheriff got notice of the whole thing, and he wanted to put me in a orphanage. I went to Yvette and asked her if I couldn't stay with her. But she told me that the Sheriff would never allow that because of her job." He looked back at Joe. "Well, then I remembered of how funny our encounter was, and as Yvette told me that your brother is much nicer than the other men she had known, I thought, maybe I can stay with you two. But since I've quite screwed up to come here, this seems to be over and done."

First of all Joe didn't know what to say. Too adventurous was the whole story, and then the idea that Jörn had come all the way alone up to Virginia City, while he wasn't even allowed to go alone for fishing since last summer. "You've screwed up?"

Jörn lowered his head again. "I stole a horse."

Little Joe gasped. "For that you can be hanged!"

Jörn spoke very quietly again. "I know, but what should I do? I didn't want to go to the home, and the Sheriff had sold the animals of the estate to the neighbors. I could hardly go there and say, I want to have the money. So I got my horse again, said goodbye to Yvette and off I went."

"Even if it's your horse, it was stealing."

"That's why I have to hide the rest of my life. Although I'm sure that Yvette won't tell where I might hide, the Sheriff will go after me."

Jörn stood up and looked at him. "Joe, can't you hide me?"

Now Joe stood up and put his hands in the back pockets. "Jörn, if you've done something wrong, you have to live with the consequences."

Jörn shoved a stone. "I know that too, but I've got no desire to end at the gallows and I thought you weren't like the others. You also wanted to sneak in with me at Fanny's."

For a while Little Joe was wondering what he should do. He liked Jörn and sure, he had done a foolish thing, but didn't he make that mistake often himself? "All right, I can show you a place to sleep, but you know that this can't last for long."

A small smile returned at Jörn's face. "Thanks Joe, I'll never forget what you do for me. I need just a place for the night. The nights are in fact still bloody cold."

Little Joe scratched his head. "Until my brother comes back from his mountain, you can sleep in his barn. After that I can hide you at ours, as my Pa's in Carson City during the next few weeks, and my Ma doesn't go into the barn, if there's no need."

"And I thought, you have no parents as well and live together with your brother ..." Jörn dropped his shoulders and looked at him sadly. "... Maybe we should drop the whole thing. I don't want you to have trouble with your parents on my account."

With his fist Joe slapped Jörn's chest. "Nonsense, we will do it that way. And now I'll show you where we can catch excellent fish."

Joe pulled him briefly by the arm and walked to the horses and with a smile his friend followed. "Your brother has his own mountain?"

Little Joe laughed as he mounted his horse. "I'll tell you everything, because I think my bellyache will persist even longer."

XXXX

Adam stood in front of the post office and checked the letters. As his father was in Carson City since yesterday, he had decided spontaneously, to make a short stop in the town before he would ride home. But when he had viewed the letters, he noticed that he could have waited till Monday. Now he just wanted to go home and take a hot bath, get some rest enjoying the calm of the evening with a good book in front of the fireplace. So he walked slowly back to his horse and watched Rusty who ran beside him hanging its head. "What's wrong? You don't want to tell me that you're done by these days on the mountain? If you hadn't hunted rabbits all the time, you wouldn't be so done now."

Rusty didn't even raise the head but just kept on trotting.

"Wynono!"

With a smile, he spread out his arms when he saw Sarah came running towards him. He picked her up and turned around in circles. "Hello, my Sunshine. What are you doing in town?"

While he spoke to her, he went towards Emilia who had Sophie by the hand. "Mum has something to discuss."

"Hello Adam. Have you been at the post office?"

He nodded. "Oh, thank you, then I can spare myself the trip and just go to church."

Astonished Adam raised an eyebrow. "Today to the church?"

"We want to discuss some for the Easter Picnic."

Softly Sarah whispered in his ear that the whole thing would certainly be very boring, but it wasn't so quiet that Emillia wouldn't have noticed. "Sarah, certainly other girls will be there today."

Her daughter grimaced. "But they're all uŋzéksA."

"Winona ..."

She put her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. "I mustn't say 'stupid'."

"But that's no better."

"But nobody understands."

Adam looked at Sophie, who stood yawning beside Emillia. "Emillia, what do you think, if I take the girls home? Then you can go to your meeting alone."

"Adam, I cannot accept. You're looking pretty done."

Adam smiled and for weeks Emillia could see peace in his eyes again. "Only outwardly. Otherwise I'm completely recovered. The days have done me good."

Emillia acted still slightly coyly. She was torn back and forth by the offer, but she even knew, although the days always did him well, they were nevertheless exhausting. "Adam, I don't know ..."

Adam let Sarah down again, gave Emillia the mail and took Sophie on his arm. "Your little buttercup's almost falling asleep standing. I can rest in the evening."

She put the mail in her basket and looked at him gratefully. "For that you will come over for dinner this evening. Agreed?"

"I will. Where is Little Joe, anyway?"

Emillia lowered her eyes. "He's fishing."

Adam couldn't hide a slight smile. "Alone?"

She looked up again and tucked the bag under her arm. "I guess when your father gets back, we should have another talk that Joe isn't a little boy anymore."

He took Sarah's hand. "And this time, Emillia the conversation will be much more quiet. Promise."

She gave her two daughters a kiss and looked at Adam fondly. "Later, I'll free you from the two as soon as possible."

They nodded to each other and Adam went on to his horse. "Wynono, can I play then with your stations?"

Adam grinned to himself. The dollhouse Pa had built her, she hardly played with, but with his first model of the stations she could spend hours. "If you are as careful as last time?"

"I will be."

Suddenly she let go of his hand. "There's Koko."

Hoss' wife just came out of Mr. Olson's store. Sarah ran into Koko's arms, as she had run into Adam's a few minutes earlier. When Adam reached his brother's wife, he smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Koko looked astonished to Sophie and Sarah. "The way you look, you just got back from the mountain."

Adam grinned from ear to ear. "So what? Can't I spend then the afternoon with two pretty girls?"

She put her hand on his cheek and looked at him tenderly. "I not only feel, but I even see that you feel better again."

He took her hand and kissed her palm. "I have to thank you that you got me back on the right track again and again."

She laughed. "I only push you in the right direction. The rest you're doing all by yourself."

Koko looked back at the two girls. "Will you go with them both to your home?" 

"Yep. Emillia's meeting with some other women, to talk about the Easter Picnic. So I thought, I would take these two with me, so she has her rest."

"And all on your horse? ... Wynono ... when do you start to think about yourself for once?"

He scratched with a finger on his nose. "Haven't I done that during the last four days?"

She gave Sarah her hand. "Then we will go to my carriage. And don't argue!"

"I'd never do that."

He took Sarah's other hand and together they went to Koko's carriage.

XXX

The stage coach reached Virginia City. She leaned back and looked at her brother and Giovanna. Maybe it hasn't been such a good idea to accompany them. The letter she had received from Adam, couldn't have been more formal, but Giovanna had persuaded her to postpone a new job by summer, so they still could spend some time together. When she had agreed, she had never imagined that they would stay in Virginia City until after Easter. On the one hand she was glad to see him again, but on the other hand she should finally accept that apparently nothing had changed since Boston.

She took a deep breath and made a mental note to get through the next few weeks with as much dignity as possible. Then she really had to start to forget him and to lead a life without constantly thinking about him. It was really ridiculous, if anybody would realize that she was in love with a man for almost seven years, who, for some, to her unknown reasons, couldn't stand by his feelings. The stage coach stopped and Frederic helped his wife and her getting out. With a loud hurray Riccardo jumped behind her out of the stage coach.

Bridget looked around and her heart stopped. Now she knew the reason why he couldn't stand by them. It looked like he had lied to her all the time in Boston. She didn't need to look twice to recognize Adam and to see how happy he was. The woman who just put her hand on his cheek was unmistakably an Indian woman and thus surely Koko. How could she indeed believe that he had just thought of her in the past few years as she of him. She looked to the stage coach. Her bag was still with the other luggage. She took another deep breath and looked back at him as he came up to her direction with his two children and Koko. And when she saw that Koko was obviously expecting a baby, it was a done deal.

She would get into the stage coach again and explain it to her brother and Giovanna at a later date. So she turned around to climb the stage coach again.


	64. Chapter 64

The moment when she turned to the stage coach, she could hear Frederic calling Adam's name. She remained for a moment and closed her eyes. She knew she had missed the time to do a fairly dignified exit. So Bridget turned back to the others.

"Adam? I can't believe it!"

Frederic looked twice at the person who came to meet him. Adam's gaze went to the stage coach when he heard his name, and he stopped. He also needed a short time until he realized who stood in front of him. He let Sophie down from his arm, and with a wide grin he welcomed his friend. "Frederic, you nutcase! You should have sent a telegram before you got here!"

"I had changed my plans spontaneously."

He turned his head slightly and pointed at Giovanna and Bridget. Only now Adam registered that his friend hadn't arrived alone. He immediately tensed inwardly. He had been expecting almost anything when Frederic and he would meet. He had even hoped that he would see Giovanna and Riccardo, but he hadn't expected HER. Adam could almost feel how he inwardly backed off ten steps at least. Without noticing it deliberately, he had put his hand on the chain. Then he turned to Giovanna. With a friendly face and a kiss on the cheek, he welcomed her. He also welcomed Bridget with a kiss on the cheek, but as soon as decency would permit, and without seeing her in the eye, he turned to Frederic's son. "Hello, Riccardo. Nice to see you again."

Riccardo looked at him askance. His father had told him a lot of his godfather and always read him parts of the letters, but he had never imagined that his father's best friend was a real cowboy. He beamed all over his face and shook his hand. "Hello, Uncle Adam."

Adam pushed Riccardo's hat back. "May I introduce you to Koko ...?" He pointed at Koko, raising his little sister up again. "... This little lady here is Sophie, and that is ..." Meanwhile, Sarah had approached him and he put his arm around her. "...Winona."

After Koko and the kids had said hello to Frederic, he looked at him in astonishment.  
"Adam, why didn't you write that you had gotten your own family?"

Adam's expression was quite baffled when his gaze went back and forth between Frederic and Koko. "Family ...?" Then he gave a short laugh. "No, Koko's my sister in law, and the two young ladies here are my sisters."

Bridget almost felt her complexion change. She felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation and as Adam had looked at her and welcomed her, he wasn't quite enthusiastic about Frederic's spontaneous idea. She was sure that those next weeks would be the worst that she had had in a while. Although his welcome had been very cool towards her, it had been enough that her feelings for him had intensified again.

"Sisters ...?" Now even Frederic had to laugh. "... Adam, you haven't changed a mite. You still leave out essential things that concern you. You could have written this fact at least."

Slightly embarrassed Adam scratched behind the ear and winked. "Guess I've somehow forgotten that."

Frederic slapped him on the arm and looked at his hand, as a small cloud of dust rose. "Please Adam, don't you tell me you look this way every day and even talk with Mr. Sundberg the way you look right now? Tell me that you just came from your valley or whatever you have here."

Adam didn't need to look down at himself, to know what impression he must have made on Frederic and the others. And the marks of the fight with Mitch hadn't entirely disappeared yet. "Frederic, you know, we savages all run around like this."

Frederic opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Adam placed his hand reassuringly on his shoulder. "Here it's not a valley but a mountain and yes, I'm just back."

Relieved Frederic exhaled. "Then we won't bother you any longer, since I know how big your hunger is after your trips. Can you tell us where we can find the hotel?"

"Hotel? You don't think that I'm going to let you stay at a hotel? Of course, you will live with me."

Frederic looked down. "Adam, we won't be only staying a few days. I had to change our plans because there are problems in Lake City Salt, and I don't know if your father would agree as we will be definitely staying here until after Easter."

Adam crossed his arms. "There are problems in Utah?"

"I'll tell you later when we talk about all the other things that affect the railway as well."

"All right, then let's go."

His friend held him by the arm. "Adam, what will your father say when we're all going to live with you for so long?"

"You're not going to live with him, but with me." Frederic didn't let go of him and glanced at Koko. "Umm Adam, is it a home and not a ... well ..." Now his voice was only a whisper. "... tent?"

Shaking his head and laughing Adam walked on. They got themselves a buggy and went on their way.

Frederic, Giovanna and Bridget followed in a buggy, Koko and Adam were in her carriage. The children sat with Rusty in the back behind them. Adam's gaze was fixed straight ahead. Since they had left town, he hadn't said a word. Koko leant slightly over to him. "She's pretty."

He didn't look at her and didn't answer. "Adam ..."

"I don't want to talk about."

Koko turned around and looked at the kids. Then she spoke to him in her language. "Put it back."

He peeked over at her after all. "What is it that I should put back?"

She sat down slightly slanted. "The stones of your mountain that you seem to have still in your pocket and now lay straight back around your heart."

"He didn't say that she will come, too."

"But now she's here, and you should be glad about the fact that you get another chance."

He took a quick breath. "I'm not prepared for this."

Koko put her hand to her eyes. "Honestly, Wynono, perhaps I should tell Bridget, not to even unpack her stuff, but to take to her heels pretty fast. I can't just watch how you treat her after all. Even as you welcomed her. A block of ice is warmer, than you at this moment."

"You know very well that I'm trying to finish with the whole thing."

Koko couldn't hide how shocked she was. "You call Bridget a thing? She can really just be glad she arrived only today. If she had arrived prior to your visit on the mountain, you would have put her back into the stage coach and then locked it from the outside."

Adam looked at her from the side. "I didn't ask her to come."

"I think we should now prefer to use the forces of peace to tame the storm in our hearts."

XX

Riccardo sat in the carriage opposite to Sarah. "Is she a real Indian?"

"Not quite. Her mother's a white woman."

He looked up at Adam and Koko who were arguing apparently about something, but he didn't understand a word of what they said. "Can you understand what they say?"

"Yes I can. This is the language of the Gosiute."

Riccardo looked back at Adam. "I imagined your brother quite different. I never thought that he was a cowboy, because he works for the railway like my father."

"The ranch is his work. He builds the stations for the most part merely in the evening."

"I wish my dad would also work on a ranch, but he doesn't even like to ride."

„You can ride?"

Now Riccardo looked at her proudly. "Workers at the construction site taught me that. Have you ever sat on a horse?"

Sarah crossed her arms. "Of course. Even on Sport, ..." She pointed to Adam's horse, which was tied to the carriage. "... and he isn't quite easy-going."

Riccardo leaned back. "There will certainly be wonderful days here."

With a slightly bowed head and a pleading look, he looked at her again. "Can you show me the Indian village, or is it forbidden to go there?"

"Do you really want to go there?"

"Of course. I've never seen a village nor spoken with an Indian."

Now Sarah beamed all over her face, that there was someone who didn't laugh at her that she was friends with Indians. "I can also show you the wild horses."

Frederic's son sat down straight again. "Even as they break them?"

"Wynono does this, but only after the roundup."

"Wynono? Is that an Indian?"

Sarah laughed. "No, it's Adam."

Confused Riccardo looked at Adam. "I'll tell you later. We are there."

They stopped at Adam's house and the children jumped down from the carriage. "Wynono, could Riccardo and I bring Sport into the barn?"

Adam only nodded at her and took Sophie from Koko, who had fallen asleep on her lap. Then he helped Koko from the carriage, and Frederic came to his side. "This is your house?"

"Yes."

"And you live here alone?"

"With Rusty, my dog."

Bridget, who stood beside her brother, couldn't resist to say the next sentence. She was still too disappointed by Adam's behavior in town. "And how much staff do you need for this "small" house?"

Adam's head snapped around. "I have none, but if you can't do without, I may ask in town if there are some, especially for you."

Koko took a deep breath. "I think I'll take Sophie and you're going to help Frederic unloading the luggage, ... Wynono."

Koko threw Adam a look that clearly showed him what she thought of him. So he gave her Sophie and went to the other carriage. Frederic looked puzzled at the two women. Giovanna put her hands akimbo. "I told you to write him. You know that he's got problems with your spontaneous ideas."

"That's nonsense. He has written to me more than once, how much he wants to see you and Riccardo. "

Giovanna rolled her eyes. "I think you're going to help Adam."

Koko looked over at Bridget. "I don't know what words I can address to you now, so that you understand him a little."

Bridget shook her head slightly and smiled. "You needn't. I know him and I know how much he hates to be taken by surprise this way."

"That's still no reason to be so rude."

Koko laid Sophie on the other side of her shoulder. "Should I take her?"

Gratefully Koko accepted the offer. Adam's behavior had upset her too much. "When do you expect the baby?"

With a happy face Koko stroked her hand over her belly. "In about six to eight weeks."

Frederic and Adam walked with the bags past the three women. "Are you coming?"

Frederic had briefly stopped while Adam went on. The women looked at each other and then followed him into the house. Giovanna looked around and her eyes got bigger and bigger. Then she leaned toward Bridget and spoke very softly in her ear. "I would maybe think over the matter with Adam. You would spend the rest of your life cleaning windows."

Bridget's response was just as silently. "I think I don't have to worry about that any longer."

"I'll show you your rooms."

Adam walked up the stairs and the others followed him, and Koko made her way to the kitchen. "And I'm going to make some coffee."

Bridget looked around. "Adam, where can I lie down your sister? I guess she'll still sleep for a while."

He pointed to a door. "Back in my room. Put her on the bed."

Without paying any further attention to her, he showed Frederic and Giovanna their room. "Riccardo can have the room next to you, and Bridget the one opposite. I'll freshen up a bit, then let's see what my kitchen might offer."

Frederic held his friend back as he was about to leave the room. "Adam, we could have stayed at the hotel. I didn't mean to invade you like this."

Adam lowered his head and rubbed his nose with two fingers. Then he looked again at Frederic and Giovanna. "No, Frederic. It's all right. I have to apologize to you, but as it looks, I still have my problems with your sudden plan changes. I'm glad you're here."

Frederic slapped his friend on the arm and both looked at each other conciliatory.

Bridget put Sophie to bed and tucked her in. She sat at the edge, still watching her sleeping for a while, while she lost herself in thoughts. Then she shook her head as if she could get rid of her absurd thoughts. Bridget took a deep breath and looked around. She couldn't help but to smile. Even up here, Adam had built a large window. She stood up and looked up at the mountains, wondering how it might be waking up in the morning, and the first thing to see were the mountains that shone brightly in the sun. Even now in the afternoon, it was a breathtaking view. She put her arms around her and took a deep breath. She wouldn't have thought how soothing such a view could be. A smile appeared on her lips. Forgotten was the rage and disappointment she had just felt. Then she held her breath, and everything in her tensed. In the window she could see Adam's silhouette. How long was he standing behind her at the door watching her?

"Even I forget now and again time when I'm looking at the mountains."

Briefly, Bridget turned around and just looked at him. Shortly, she closed her eyes and wondered why it was that she couldn't forget him all the time. She had really hoped, with the years she'd be able to go out with another man, but most of the time it has been only one date. She had always compared the other men to him, and even now, when he was standing in front of her, she had trouble keeping her feelings under control so she wouldn't just fling her arms around his neck and say how much she had missed him. Her mother wouldn't believe her eyes the way he looked right now. He hadn't looked so bad when he had come back from his valley in Boston. Perhaps it was also because of the clothes he wore and the fact that he was wearing a gun belt.

"I'm sorry, Bridget, that I was so rude to you. Of course, I'm glad to see you again."

He came up to her and took her in his arms. When he felt her leaning against him, he looked at the mountains, then closed his eyes so that he could enjoy the moment. However, all of a sudden, he opened them again. His jaw hurt because he clenched his teeth so hard. He couldn't allow these feelings. He wasn't ready yet. So he broke the embrace and looked at her kindly.

"What brings you to Nevada? Did you get a new job here?"

Still a little astonished by his sudden change of mood, she had first to clear her throat. Had she just imagined that, or didn't Adam hold her closer and hugged her tighter than it was actually common for a friendly embrace? Hadn't he caressed her back? If she'd really imagined all that, she'd have to think about whether she'd be better looking for a job in France or England. Far away from him. "Giovanna had asked me to look for something new but after summer. We wanted to take advantage of the time. Who knows when we'll meet again next time. But I'll soon begin to look where a teacher's needed."

"So it was the right decision that you've made to do the training? You don't regret it?"

Bridget cocked her head slightly. What did he want to hear from her now? That she'd rather spend the last months with him in Boston? "Not a minute. I have so much pleasure in working with the children, even if they differ significantly from those in Boston. If I thought, in my school they were pretty cunning and cheeky, then they were model pupils compared to the children here in the West."

With a laugh, he crossed his arms. "Yes, the children here have a more rough tone than those from Boston. But you need that here. Otherwise you won't be able to assert yourself later."

"I've noticed that. If I had to stop only one fight a day, I could consider myself really lucky ..." She paused. "... and you? Did you regret your decision to come back home? Especially after you have been so annoyed about your father's wedding?"

With a loving face he looked at Sophie in his bed and thought of Winona. "No. I didn't either, and that my father married Emillia was just the best thing he could do."

He looked back at her and had to swallow when their eyes met. It was no good that they were talking right here in his bedroom. This didn't make things easier for him, and as if she had guessed his thoughts, she touched his arm again and went to the door. "I'll leave you alone, so you can change. See you later."

She closed the door behind him and he exhaled loudly. Easter was still three weeks away, and he would spend most of the time out in the camp, thus it surely wouldn't turn out so bad. He took off his clothes and was sure that he would be able to manage the time until her departure without any problems.

In a quite good mood, Adam came down the stairs later and watched Koko putting the coffee on the table and looking at him in astonishment. "Wynono, should I ask you whether you got herbs from my father and smoked your own pipe in your room?"

"I didn't, but the mountain has given me a great deal of strength, even if I had forgotten it for a short time."

He took her in his arms and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Do you forgive me?"

Koko took his head between her hands and put his forehead against hers. "When will the little boy in you finally grow up?"

"Didn't you always complain that the little boy was always too grown up?"

They looked into each other's eyes and there it was, this feeling of deep closeness. Koko's father had told them the story of the weeping soul. That it occurred at times that a soul was torn apart before birth and found its place in two different children. These children would then always have the feeling of being incomplete. They would be on a search for a lifetime, although they didn't know what they were looking for. They would bear a pain in themselves, they couldn't explain. The soul would cry because it wasn't complete. But a few of them were fortunate enough to find the other part of their soul. And they would then be able to unite again. But their hearts would never beat in the same rhythm of love. For they are one.

Frederic, Giovanna, and Bridget came down the stairs, and although Bridget knew Koko wasn't his wife, this picture made her heart ache. It looked so natural and so ... tender.

"Do we disturb?"

Adam turned around and looked at the three on the stairs. "Of course not. Take a seat. Koko made coffee, and I'll take a quick look at what I can fix for dinner."

"Adam, ..." He looked at Koko. "... I don't know what you did before you went to your mountain, but there's almost nothing to eat in the kitchen."

"That's impossible. Since I always have a great hunger after the trip to the mountain, I always make sure that there's enough food in stock when I come back."

She shrugged and Adam blew up his cheeks. He didn't like the idea of going to town again for shopping. He was actually too done for that. "I've got an idea. I'm going up to Emillia to tell her we're all eating with her today. I'll help her with the preparations and you'll come later then."

"That won't do, Koko. We can't surprise Emillia like that."

"Of course we can. Just now, when Ben's not here, she'll be happy about the company, and she's certainly looking forward to meeting your Boston friends."

With his hand, Adam rubbed his neck, thinking. "And Hoss?"

"I'll tell Joe to ride to the farm and get him, and at the word "dinner" he'll be right here in no time."

"I give up!"

Giovanna and Bridget looked at each other and stood up. "Adam's right. We cannot just take Emillia by surprise. Bridget and I will accompany you, Koko, and help you, and the two men will be able to talk about their stations in the meantime."

With a smile Koko looked around. "I think these are going to be nice weeks with you."

XX

Adam stood by his horse and read Mr. Sundberg's letter. It was about the station in Salt Lake City. The work there was stopped before they had begun at all. Utah wanted to join the South, so as to ensure that they would always have a buyer for their cotton. The situation there was currently very tense, so Frederic didn't want his family to live there under any circumstances. Mr. Sundberg had written that they should go on with the other stations, and then see how the situation would develop in the months ahead. He put the letter in the saddle bag when he heard Mr. Conner calling his name.

"Adam, wait a minute, please."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Conner."

Little Joe's teacher had to take a breath. Just as it looked, he'd run a few yards to be able to talk to Adam anyway. "Adam, what about your spring time work? Have you managed the worst?"

Adam looked at his old teacher in surprise. Since when was Mr. Conner interested in work on the ranch? "We were very fast this year. The animals weren't as scattered as last year. Why do you ask?"

"Well, because of Little Joe. When will he come back to school?"

First Adam pouted and then clicked his tongue. "I think, Mr. Conner, my brother will be back at school on Monday. You can be sure of it."

"That's good, Adam. He really shouldn't miss that much."

said goodbye and continued his way. Adam took a deep breath and wondered where his brother might be.

"Hey, Buddy, your posture makes me a little scared. Is Mitch around?"

With his hand Tom slapped him on the back, and Adam turned to him. "No, but I'm looking for Little Joe. As it seems, he has skipped school for two weeks."

Tom took a deep breath. "Not good. I wouldn't like to be in his shoes right now, because such a nonsense we never did."

Adam crossed his arms. "Not for two weeks, my friend."

Tom pushed back his hat. "Of course not. For this you were always far too decent."

Adam tapped his friend on the badge. "I'm not quite sure if you're the right man for this job."

"If not me, who else? You? Poor Virginia City ..."

"Very funny. But you didn't see him by chance?"

Tom looked down the street. "I've seen him from time to time with another boy."

"What boy?"

"No idea who it was."

Adam looked at him annoyed. "You're the deputy here. Shouldn't you know everyone?"

"Hey, just stay calm. I thought he was one of the people who are living now with you in the house. Wasn't there a boy?"

"Yes, but he's six years old and spends most of his time with Winona."

Tom shook his head. "No, then it wasn't him. The boy was thirteen or fourteen. Definitely not much older than Joe ..." Tom thought again. "... I often saw them at the little creek, near the ..." Then he paused. "... those little rascals."

"What is?"

"Mrs. Logan has complained that she was robbed of her cake and partly of her lunch lately, and when I put two and two together now, I instantly notice two guys, who could be the reason for it all. The creek isn't far from the house of Mrs. Logan."

"If that were true, Little Joe can be in for a bit."

"Well, come on, Buddy, let's go and see."

They mounted the horses and rode to the small creek. A little off, they tied the horses and walked the last yards on foot. Even from a distance, they saw Joe sitting with the boy on a bridge, eating a cake.

"You know, Adam. Your father will be very sad when he can only visit Joe in jail once a month."

The heads of Joe and Jörn snapped up, and they saw Tom and Adam standing on the bridge with arms crossed. "Only once a month?"

"Yes, Adam, but only on good conduct."

"And all because of skipping school?"

Tom waved his hand. "If it was only that, but multiple theft, ... I cannot turn a blind eye at all."

The two boys looked at each other with wide eyes. Then Jörn jumped from the bridge into the creek and tried to run away, but Tom caught up with him after only a few yards and held him by the arm. "You stay right here, boy."

"No! You can't lock him up."

Little Joe ran with full force against Tom, so he had trouble holding Jörn. Immediately Adam grabbed his little brother by the collar and pulled him away from the deputy. "Tell me, have you taken leave of your senses, Little Joe? Not only are you skipping school, lying and stealing, now you're even attacking Tom?"

Sadly, Little Joe looked down. "But Tom mustn't take Jörn with him."

"And why not?"

Joe glanced at his friend, who shook his head. "I'm sorry, Jörn, but I can't lie to my brother any longer. I'm in enough trouble anyway, and remember what I told you, if you screw up, you have to stand by it."

Jörn hissed at him. "You don't have to face the gallows, but only jail."

Tom raised his hand. "Calm your horses! Nobody will be hanged here, or did you kill someone, my boy?"

Jörn lowered his head again and spoke very softly. "No, Sir. I've …. stolen a horse."

Tom and Adam raised their eyebrows. "But it was his horse, Tom. He just wanted to get it back. He cannot be hanged for that."

"I think it's best to tell us the whole story, and then we'll see."

The two young friends looked at each other, and Joe nodded at Jörn encouragingly. Then Jörn told Tom and Adam his story. When he had finished, Adam looked at him with a wry look. "Then you stole my food?"

„Yes, Sir."

Tom took a deep breath. "It's best you come with me, and we'll sort it out at the office."

"No."

Joe yelled again. "Even if Jörn isn't hanged, you can't take him with you. Then he must go to an orphanage. Adam, ..." Little Joe looked at his brother, pleadingly. "... you can't let that happen. Can't he stay with you?"

Calmly, Tom laid his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Joe, Jörn will come with me first, and then we'll clear up everything. From this time he remains in my custody. And I promise we'll find a solution for your friend."

Relieved Joe looked at the deputy. "Thank you, Tom."

"Well, then you can go home with Adam, but tomorrow you'll come with your father to my office."

Joe's eyes widened and his voice was very brittle. "Must I?"

"What do you think? You two have committed several thefts. I'll have to think with the Sheriff about a punishment for you two."

"Great!"

"Joe, ..."

Adam's gaze was no better than the look he'd expect later from Pa. "... I would recommend now to shut up at once."

Joe just nodded and then followed Adam to the horses.

XX

In church Sarah sat next to Bridget and dangled her legs. She could hardly wait for the service to be over and to go out to the picnic. Then she would be able to talk to Riccardo again. They were sat apart in church because they had whispered too much the last time. Since she didn't agree at all with her father's decision, she had sat down next to Bridget in order to protest. She looked up at her. She liked Bridget and Giovanna, but unfortunately they would leave after Easter. At the same time she sometimes felt that Wynono liked Bridget very much. He looked at her now and then, as Pa looked at Mum.

Then she looked back at Riccardo, who winked at her and she grinned back. She would miss him. The last few weeks had been so much fun. She had shown him the ranch, and they had gone to the village as often as Ma had allowed. He had quickly become friends with the children there, and had already learned the first words of the language of the Gosiute, but until now Riccardo's parents hadn't decided exactly when to leave, and maybe they would still have a week or two left for playing.

At last the service was over and everyone stood up. Just as Sarah wanted to start running, Adam held her by the shoulder. "You're still kindly staying with me until we're all outside, and then we're going to the picnic."

She pressed her lips together and then took his hand. Before the door she took Bridget's hand and together they went to the others. Sarah glanced at Riccardo, who had to go by his parents' hands and looked just as enthusiastic as she was. The pastor still spoke and thanked everyone for coming and the food they brought along. Sarah had the feeling the whole thing lasted just as long as the service. Softly, she muttered a "finally" as the pastor wished them all a lot of fun. Immediately she looked at her brother. "Wynono, may I?"

Adam put his head to the side and looked overdone sadly. "I thought we'd play together! You only care about Riccardo."

Sarah opened her mouth and didn't know what to do. "Sunshine, that was a joke! Of course you can go to your friend."

Relieved his little sister exhaled. Then she released Adam's hand and looked at Bridget. "Would you take care of Wynono? Otherwise he's so alone, because Rusty had to stay at home."

She put Bridget's hand in Adam's hand and looked at them delighted, turned around and ran to Riccardo.

Adam looked at their hands and then quickly let go off Bridget, as if he had burned his fingers. Inwardly Bridget had to shake her head. They had rarely seen each other in the last few weeks, and if so, it was only in the evenings. But it was like in Boston, if not even worse. One evening he didn't leave her side and obviously sought her presence, and the next day he couldn't be far enough away from her. "We should go to the others."

She had no desire to do what he was telling her. She was an independent person and didn't intend to follow him like a dog. "You can do that. But I've arranged to meet someone for a little talk."

Adam raised an eyebrow and looked at her with small eyes. But before he could ask her a question, she turned and left him standing. He put his hand on his chest and felt his necklace through the jacket. Not long and she would leave again, and he'd no longer need to pull himself together like that. Several times Adam slammed himself against the chest and looked around. He went down to the lake to take a quick breath. Then he wanted to go back and see if he could find Tom.

Adam wasn't standing for long on the bank as his gaze fell to the left on a small tree group. With a deep sigh, he went to Joe, who was about to kiss Dianne.

"Little Joe ..."

His brother didn't turn around when he let go of the girl, but only hung his head. Dianne looked at him with wide eyes. "I think your friends are waiting for you."

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright."

She spoke very softly and went immediately on her way to the others. Joe didn't lift his head, but his voice expressed how angry he was about his brother. "What's that all about, Adam?"

"Don't raise your voice to me, Little Joe, and turn around."

Joe muttered something to himself, and it was good that Adam didn't understand. Then he looked up at him and was amazed that Adam didn't look angry, but understanding. "Joe, I certainly have no problem with you being gradually interested in girls. But I was hoping you'd understand me why you just shouldn't kiss Dianne."

With his shoe, Joe poked around in the sand. "Isn't it no matter which girl I kiss?"

Adam laid his hand on Joe's shoulder. "I'm surely the last person who wants to give you any rules. But Dianne is just twelve and not yet so far as to show you your limits. She doesn't have any idea what you want from her. She only looks at you with big eyes and probably says "yes" to anything."

His brother looked at him in surprise. "What limits?"

Adam closed his eyes. Why did he always have to have these conversations? He hoped that his sisters wouldn't come to him later ... although ... He looked back at Joe, ... it might be better. "Joe, I thought we'd both already talked last year about what could happen between boys and girls besides kissing."

Joe blushed and looked away. "But I haven't planned THAT."

Adam looked up at the sky and breathed deeply. "Joe, in this case, if you act first, and think then, it might have consequences that our father wouldn't be so enthusiastic to deal with. You can believe me, the longer you kiss a girl, the harder it gets with thinking."

„Huh ...?"

Once again Adam closed his eyes and wondered how often he had to explain this matter to Little Joe. So he put his arm around him and walked with him a bit. "I think I need to explain some things to you more carefully."

XX

Joe walked to the stands to look for Jörn, thinking of the conversation with Adam. He had already understood what his brother wanted to explain to him, and what he had meant with the limits, but he couldn't really imagine that this might become so difficult from a certain point on. But when even Adam said that, who always thought about everything ...  
He found Jörn at the stand with the drinks. "Hello, Jörn."

Jörn smiled all over his face when he saw Joe. "Joe!"

"How does it look, can you get out of here right now?"

Jörn gave Sybil a questioning look, who stood beside him. "Alright. But Jörn, ..." She looked at him warning. ",... remember. Don't screw up!"

"No, ma'am."

Jörn grabbed Joe by the arm, and off they went quickly. "And I thought you had to help there all day long."

They both sat down under a tree and leaned against the trunk. "Nope. Was only a part of the punishment for stealing the cake."

"Well, I would have liked this punishment. I had to chop wood for the next ten years for Mrs. Logan."

"Then she's taken care of. I had to chop wood for the other ten years."

They both laughed and looked at the children playing in the meadow. "How are you doing with Tom and Sybil?"

"Hmmm .. actually quite good. They are very nice, but why should I get used to them? Tom says the judge in Nevada City will inform us next week what will happen to me. Then I surely will be hanged or jailed."

Joe pushed his knee against Jörn's. "I don't believe that. Adam said the Sheriff would never have been allowed to sell your father's land like this, and thus not the cattle and your horse. He thinks you'll even get the money from the sale."

"And what will that give me? Even if I don't get punishment, I'll go to an orphanage. But Joe, you can believe me. I'll skip out as quickly as possible."

Joe shook his head. "You're not going to an orphanage. I mean, you're already going to school here. They can't just take you anywhere else."

Jörn skipped a few small stones away. "Nope, Joe. Once the adults have made a decision, we kids have nothing more to say, and remember, I have only turned fourteen this year."

"No Jörn, you're staying here, and if I have to promise Adam everything he asks of me. I'll ask him so long till you can live with him."

"He'll never do that."

Joe pushed him with his elbow. "Sure, he will, and if not, we threaten him to tell my Pa about Yvette. Then he'll do that."

Jörn laughed loudly. "No thanks. Then I'd certainly have no relaxed life with him."

They were silent for a while, but then Jörn jumped up. "Joe, do you carry your slingshot with you?"

"Sure."

Joe got up and pulled a slingshot out of his pocket, and Jörn showed his with a grin. "What are we going to do now?"

"Come on, Joe."

Joe followed Jörn to some bushes next to the trees. "I bet that I can hit more girls with the berries than you."

Joe looked at the berries on the bush before them. "My goodness, if they find their target, they will leave pretty bad stains."

Jörn shrugged. "Well, this way we can see if we hit our target or not."

Little Joe didn't think long and picked some berries. They were alternating with the shooting and the first attempts always landed just beside the girls, but with time they got better and better. The first girls went already crying to their parents, although they didn't know where the stains came from. Jörn and Joe sat behind the bush and couldn't

stop laughing. "Oh my goodness, Joe, just look there is Fran. I think her white dress could use some color."

Joe grinned. He couldn't stand Fran at all. She was always so snooty and said he was dumb because he couldn't count as fast as she did. With a cheeky look he put the ammunition in the slingshot, aimed and hit her exactly on the back. Once again the two boys ducked and laughed at Fran's confused face. "Joe, if you hit her butt, I'll do your homework next week."

Again Joe grinned at him cheekily and picked new ammunition. Neither of them noticed that Mr. Conner had been watching the whole thing and was already on his way to them. When he saw Joe aiming again, he quickened his pace and shouted.

"Joseph Cartwright. Stop this at on... "

He didn't get any further. He had hurried to meet the boys that he didn't pay attention to the ground and his foot got caught on a root. Before he'd even noticed what had happened, he fell and twisted his leg. He screamed out in pain. Immediately Joe dropped his shoulders and looked with Jörn scared at Mr. Conner, who rolled on the ground, holding his leg. They looked at each other briefly and then ran to their teacher. One glance was enough to see that Mr. Conner's leg was broken. "I'll get help, Mr. Conner. Jörn, you stay here. "

Joe ran off and Jörn knelt down beside his teacher.


	65. Chapter 65

It was afternoon and by and by the stands and the remains of the Easter picnic were packed away. Emillia with the kids and Adam with his guests were together and just about to leave for home when Ben joined the group and gave Little Joe a furious look. "I just came from Paul. Mr. Conner's leg is broken twice and he'll be definitely out at least until summer holidays."

Little Joe looked quickly to the ground because he couldn't resist a grin. Of course, he felt sorry for Mr. Conner, but not having to go to school until summer holidays was the best news of the last few weeks. "Joseph, you needn't to grin. Both of us will have a private talk at home."

Ben looked around and fixed his gaze on Adam. "The school board should meet on Tuesday to discuss what we should do now. To find a new teacher at this time won't be easy."

Shaking his head, Adam looked at Joe, who would have preferred to take to his heels. But before Adam was able to contribute something to the problem, Giovanna spoke up. "You don't need to look for someone, Adam. Bridget can do it."

There was deadly silence, as Bridget and Adam called out 'No' at the same time. The two of them looked at each other, and Adam knew as soon as he saw the sparkle in her eyes that she would change her mind, and that only because he had clearly expressed his displeasure. Now Bridget looked at Ben. "Mr. Cartwright, by saying 'No' I meant that I can't take the job permanently, but till summer I could easily stand in for Mr. Conner."

She deliberately avoided looking at Adam. It annoyed her way too much how he had treated her again today. His constant back and forth gradually began to get on her nerves. She had already looked forward to her departure, but as Frederic would soon move on, she had to find new accommodation in town anyway. So she could avoid seeing him every day. Ben nodded slowly. "Why didn't I think of this idea myself, Miss Francois? I have to suggest this to the school board, of course, but I think there will be no objection."

He looked briefly at Adam, who had turned his eyes to heaven. "Frederic, that's wonderful. Then we can still stay until summer. Reno isn't that far away. Thus you can always come back here and talk directly with Adam about the progress."

Adam's eyes shot at Giovanna and then at Bridget, who looked at him just as aghast. Probably she had known, as he did, if Frederic was no longer there she was to live in town, but now? ... He could hardly kick his friend out. It seemed he had to live with her under the same roof till summer, when Frederic would agree to Giovanna's suggestion. As already several times that day he put his hand on his chest. Surely he would go often to his mountain in the coming months.

"Are we gonna stay, Dad?"

Frederic looked to his son, who was standing next to Sarah and whose eyes were so bright with excitement. Frederick looked at Adam, embarrassed. He knew his friend well enough to know that this was a very spontaneous change for him. "I think we should ask Adam first. Because if we have to look for new accommodation till summer, then we can do that in Reno, too."

"Wynono, ..." Begging and pleading Sarah looked at her brother. "... Riccardo would then also be there for my birthday."

Adam had to smile when he watched the two children, and how they looked at him, hoping that he agreed. If he was honest, he found the idea of them all living with him, not that bad. There were two hearts in his chest, as far as Bridget was concerned. One wanted her to leave very quickly, the other wished that he would finally find the courage to tear down the wall, so that he could stand by his feelings. "Of course you can stay with me. Then I don't have to constantly justify why I built my house so big."

Every other word was drowned by the kids' cry of joy. Adam looked at Bridget and smiled at her. But she had only a slight smile on her face when she looked at him, since she couldn't make head nor tail of his behavior. Less than five minutes ago he would surely have helped her with packing, and now he looked at her again with such a loving look that she almost blushed.

XX

Joe stood with Jörn at his horse. "How long will your brother's friend stay? Not really up to the summer holidays?"

Joe leaned against the tree and grimaced. "It looks that way."

Jörn stuck his hands in his pockets and kicked into the sandy ground. "Damn it! Just now when Tom and Sybil asked me if I could imagine staying with them."

Joe didn't trust his ears. "And you tell me that just now? In the last few days, I've been thinking about what will happen to you after the judge has decided that you won't have to go to jail."

Jörn shrugged briefly. "They just asked me yesterday evening."

"Well, and? Don't tell me you have to think about that."

Jörn kicked again in the sand and followed the dust cloud with his eyes. "Joe, he's a Sheriff."

Little Joe was confused. "Well, and so what? Besides he's only the deputy."

"That doesn't matter. He's the law, and .. well, .. you know, I'm still screwing up every now and then. Being the son of the Sheriff is as bad as being the priest's son. You always have to pay attention to what you say or do."

Laughing, Joe slapped Jörn's chest. "Believe me, Tom will understand you screwing up. My brother Hoss told me that Adam and Tom weren't always the model pupils, and Tom wasn't behaving too well."

Now it was Jörn, who looked very surprised. "Tom screwed up? I can hardly imagine that."

"Yes, you can believe me! So being in your place, I would quickly accept this offer."

Jörn smiled wryly. "Well, actually I wanted to accept it yesterday evening, but I was so surprised by the question that I didn't say anything."

"But you will tell them today that you want to stay with them?"

Jörn slapped his fist against Joe's chest. "Sure I will, but we still have the problem with Miss Francois. We can't even skip school and go fishing without her telling it to your brother or your father."

"You don't have to tell me! Do you know how hard it is for me? I'm constantly worried that she's telling something about me at home. I even don't dare to look over to you. She's quite nice, but did she have to become our teacher?"

"Perhaps Mr. Conner will come back sooner?"

"I don't think so. My father said we are lucky he can return after summer holidays."

"Joe, she won't still be our teacher thereafter?"

Now Joe grinned again. "No. Certainly not. She'll work somewhere else, and I hope that's far from here."

"Still about three months. Then we'll be on holiday and we'll get rid of her again."

They shook hands and grinned at each other.

„Little Joe …."

Joe's head went down slightly and he whispered to Jörn. "And you think it's bad to be the Sheriff's son? Much worse, if you live just a few steps next to your teacher."

Bridget reached the two boys. "Joe, what do you think? Shall we go home together?"

Joe wondered, what the question could possibly mean. He could hardly say 'No'. Then he would surely have to account to Adam or Pa later, why he didn't want to go with her. "Of course, Miss Francois."

"Joe, I told you, after school you can still call me Bridget."

Joe didn't fail to notice, as Jörn had to suppress a grin. "Then get to my buggy. Tie on your horse and get up."

When Joe and Bridget drove past Jörn, he had to agree with his friend. To be friends with the teacher and go home with her was worse than being the son of a Sheriff.

XX

Since the birthdays of Adam and Sarah were just a few days apart, they celebrated this with a barbecue the following weekend at Adam's house. Sarah came running to Adam and hugged him when he went into a crouch. „Hahó hahó philámayaye ló Wynono."

He, too, spoke to her in the language of the Gosiute. "For what?"

She laughed. "Without you Pa wouldn't have gifted me a pony."

"I've got nothing to do with that."

She grinned at him. "Oh yes, you have."

Even Adam grinned. "You should also thank Pa that way."

"Will do."

She hugged him again and then ran to her father, and Adam watched her for a long time.

"When someone watches the both of you, one thinks rather, she's your daughter and not your sister."

He looked up at Bridget and stood up slowly. "Let's not let my father hear that. He still has to fight enough that she's so attached to me."

"But not only she to you ..."

She didn't need to talk any further. Adam knew what she meant, and somewhat embarrassed, he scratched his forehead. "I cannot tell you what it is, but from the first moment we saw each other there was something special between us."

"You often talk in the language of Gosiute."

"Yes, that also connects us."

Bridget gently gazed at him with a slightly inclined head. "You're surely going to be a loving father."

The first time, since she lived here in his house, he looked her in the eye longer. "But I'm not easy."

She didn't look away. "You've never been."

He felt his cheekbones twitch. "This isn't Boston."

"Haven't we already been at this point? And that, I think, isn't the true reason.

Adam took a deep breath and then looked away. He couldn't. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her, and he was to blame. "I'll get us something to drink."

Bridget had to be very controlled to not give him a piece of her mind right now. His constant mood changes were really intolerable. She had no idea how things should go on between them. "Thank you Adam, no need. I wanted to go see Giovanna anyway."

Like the times before, she simply left him standing and walked away. Adam noticed every time how much he hurt her with his behavior, and he was furious with himself and his wall. Why couldn't he just overcome this fear? He took another deep breath, went behind the house, leaned against one of the posts and watched the mountains. Adam had been able to calm down the storm in himself when he heard his father's voice.

"So thoughtful, son?"

Adam stood upright and smiled at his father. "I just had to think about something for a moment."

His father handed him a glass and toasted to him. Adam took a sip and then looked into the glass as if there was the solution to his problem. "Would you like me to share your thoughts? Could be that I can help you."

His son leaned against the post again and looked to the mountains. "I should finally make a decision, but it's not easy for me because it would mean a significant change for me."

Ben shrugged. Adam didn't think about going with his friend? What was he to tell him now? But if that was really his wish, he mustn't stop him. But the Ponderosa without Adam? This was an idea he didn't want to pursue. "I know you always go through all the options before you make a decision. But if you think too much, you can also get lost and lose sight of the real goal. Maybe you should just try to listen to your belly and your heart."

Now Ben also looked to the mountains, hoping that he hadn't encouraged his son to leave. "I've been trying for so long, Pa, but I just can't make it."

From aside, Ben looked at his son and was startled when he saw his desperate gaze, still pointed to the mountains. Now he wasn't sure any more if Adam was about to leave the ranch, but if it wasn't that, then what was it? "I would like to help you if I knew what it was?"

Adam looked from the mountains to the snake on his chest. 'Everything starts at the right moment, not earlier and not later. When we are ready for something new to happen in our live, it's already there to begin.' He just had to be patient. When the right time would be there, he'd notice. Adam raised his head, looked up into the sky, and asked the Great Spirit that Bridget would have that patience, too. Then he looked satisfied at his father. "You've already helped me with your words, Pa."

Ben looked at him, somewhat amused. "But that was very easy. If we could always solve everything that touches you as quickly, I won't have to worry that our relationship might get worse."

Quietly Adam had to laugh. "Concerning bad relationship, ... can we talk about Little Joe?"

Ben looked into his glass. He knew that this conversation had been coming between the both of them. "Adam, I just ... fear for him."

Adam still leaned against the post but turned to face his father. "But why? I mean, you didn't have that fear with me and Hoss."

"I can't explain it. I think it's because Joe has always been so fragile."

His eldest had to smile. "Fragile?"

Even Ben had to grin slightly. "Fragile isn't probably the best word, but I can't explain it any better. When you were born, and don't you laugh now, please, you've already given the impression that although you were very sensitive, you were very self-confident all the same, and we needn't talk about Hoss, he was anything but ... fragile. Joseph, on the other hand, was always very frail and wept a lot. Whenever I had him in my arms, I was afraid I'd crush him with my hands."

Ben looked at his hands, and it could clearly be seen how his thoughts were going back. "Pa, Joe's fifteen now. He's not a little boy anymore."

He didn't look at Adam when he answered him. "I know that well, but this feeling is still there. I can hardly suppress it."

"I've had him in my arms, too, but I don't see him that way anymore."

Now Ben looked at him with a knowing look. "You are his brother, not his father. Believe me, these are very different feelings. You will understand me when you hold your own son in your arms."

Immediately he looked at his necklace, and like a prayer, the voice in his head said that he should have patience. The right moment would come, and he shall give the fury no place. The wrong wolf didn't have to be fed. "Pa, let Joe work with me, only this way he can slowly grow up. Tom and I also screwed up less, as soon as I had to work more."

Now his father had to laugh. "What you did with Tom is nothing compared to what Joe does."

Adam took a sip from the glass and an amused sparkle could be seen in his eyes. "Maybe we just didn't let ourselves get caught?"

Ben's eyebrows went up. "Do I still have to go to the barn with you?"

Adam's answer was just a cheeky grin. "Then can I take him out twice a week?"

„No!"

Adam looked at him in astonishment. "Make it three times."

They toasted to each other and then looked for a few minutes to the mountains, before returning to the others.

XXXX

Sarah and Riccardo stood by the fence and watched as Adam tried to break a horse. "I wonder if he'll make it this time!"

Sarah continued to look at her brother. "If not, he'll be angry."

Riccardo also watched fascinated as the horse buckled and tried to get rid of his rider. "Why? This can happen to anyone."

"But not Wynono. Not three times with the same horse."

This time Adam managed to stay on the horse until it stood still, and satisfied he went to the two children. "Uncle Adam, when can I do that?"

Adam climbed over the fence and laughed. "When it comes to your father ... .. never."

"But I want to be a cowboy, just like you."

While Adam took off the chaps, he looked at Riccardo sympathetically. All those last weeks he had noticed how much his godson liked the life and work on the ranch. "When you're older, you can come back, and I'll teach you everything. But in Humboldt County no cowboys are needed, and there you'll probably stay when we have built the last station."

Sarah and Riccardo looked at him horrified. "But I don't want to go there."

Angry Riccardo kicked the muddy ground and the mud flew into his face, but without a murmur, he wiped the dirt off with the back of his hand. "Can't he stay here, Wynono?"

She looked at him with her big dark eyes. "You two are making fun of me. Frederic would tell me off if I bothered him with that suggestion."

He put an arm around each shoulder and went with them to his horse. "Now don't look so sad. Riccardo will still stay here until the summer holidays. That's almost three months. During this time I will show you as much as possible when I have time, and the first thing is that you can take my horse to the barn."

„SARAH…."

The three of them turned and looked at Joe, who came running from the house to the paddock. "Well, sunshine. Today I think Sport will be taken care of by Riccardo alone. Joe surely wants to pick you up for supper."

His sister and Riccardo both pouted and Adam gave his sister a slap on the butt. "Come on, go. See you again tomorrow."

Sighing, Sarah shrugged. „Waŋčhíyaŋke Riccardo."

„Waŋčhíyaŋke Winona."

Sarah ran off and Adam chuckled. "Riccardo, I think I have to keep an eye on you. Previously she used to tell me bye."

His godson looked at him a little blankly, and with a smile Adam put his arm around him again and they went to his house when Riccardo suddenly stopped and pointed to a fenced part of the pasture, where some cattle were. "Uncle Adam, I think the calf's stuck in the mud."

Adam looked at it briefly and then took his lariat from the saddle. "And I think now you can show me how well you practiced with the lariat."

Riccardo looked at him in disbelief. "Can I catch the calf with the lariat?"

Adam handed him the rope and grinned at him. "You can even run in the mud and get the calf that way."

Frederic's son looked at the calf and then to the lariat in his hand. "No, I'll get it with the lariat. I don't feel like bathing today."

They tied Sport, climbed over the fence, and approached the calf. They stopped at the edge of the huge mud puddle. Riccardo took the lariat and after several attempts he had really managed to throw the noose around the neck of the calf. With a proud glance he looked at his godfather. "Not bad. Now you just have to pull so strong that the calf also comes out. Do you think you can do it?"

"Sure."

With a concentrated look Riccardo pulled the rope. With a jerk the calf suddenly pulled his head to one side and Frederic's son flew high into the mud and let go of the lariat. After the boy had recovered from the initial shock, he looked at Adam and they had to laugh together. Adam went to meet him, held out his hand, and helped him back to his feet. "I think that we'll practice again during the next few days."

Adam took the lariat, and with two quick movements he had freed the calf from his predicament and was able to release the lariat from the animal. "The way you look now, you won't get around a bath today."

Riccardo looked down and looked at him mischievously. "But it was fun."

"Well, then let's go. But we have to take care of Sport first, and then you can present yourself to your mother."

When they were finished in the barn, Riccardo ran into the house. Bridget and Giovanna, who were just coming down the stairs, looked at him horrified. "For heaven's sake, Riccardo, what have you done?"

With a broad grin, Giovanna's son stood in the entrance area and looked at his mother and his aunt, who came slowly down the stairs after the first shock. "I saved a calf with Uncle Adam."

Adam came in and took the hat of Riccardo's head and laid it with his on the sideboard. "Yep, he'll be a tough cowboy one day."

He ruffled Riccardo's hair and went to go to the kitchen when he was stopped by a loud voice. Adam looked at Bridget in surprise. "You don't want to go through the house the way you look right now?"

Amazed, Adam looked around and then looked down at himself, not realizing now where the problem actually was. "And why not?"

She stood before him with her hands akimbo. "Why not? You didn't ask that question seriously?"

He scratched his chest and looked at the two women a little ruefully. Riccardo laughed. "You're too dirty to them. And if you don't listen, you'll be seized by your ears and put in the tub."

"You don't need to laugh, young man."

Riccardo fell silent as soon as he saw his mother's gaze. "Bridget and I have cleaned up here all afternoon, and we certainly didn't want to prepare a bath for you both just before supper, and ..." she was looking at Adam now ... "to clean up again afterwards."

Adam crossed his arms. "But you two do realize that getting dirty happens when working on a ranch?"

Bridget tapped him on the chest. "You don't have to get so sarcastic. We're quite aware of this, and we never said anything when you came home. But just as you two look today, the first thing to do is to take off your shoes at the door and then go washing without detours."

Adam leaned forward slightly and spoke very quietly to her. "And what if I say now, this is my house, and if I want to run around this way then I'm going to run around this way?"

"Then I will tell you that you can do the housework on your own again from now. And that's starting with bringing supper to the table for us all in an hour."

Adam stood upright again with the look of a naughty schoolboy who actually didn't know what he had done wrong. Then he took off his shoes and looked at his godson. "Come on, cowboy, we'd better do what the ladies say, or we'll go to bed hungry tonight."

Riccardo took off his shoes and followed Adam to the stairs. Adam stopped briefly at Rusty, who was lying in front of the fireplace. "Now I know why you don't come with me in this weather any more. Probably they're threatening you with food deprivation, too."

As if to confirm the dog sighed and looked at him with a pitying look. Adam and Riccardo were halfway up the stairs when Giovanna told them that she'd make them warm water for the bath. With a mischievous grin Adam declined the offer with thanks.

XX

Dinner wasn't quite ready, when Riccardo already ran bathed freshly into the kitchen. "Ma, when we're in California, can we get something like that in the house?"

„Something like what?"

Adam came into the kitchen and looked over Bridget's shoulder to see what there would be for supper. With a friendly gaze she pushed him gently away, and he took something to drink and sat down on the edge of the little kitchen table. "Well, such a bathtub as we had in the hotel in New York. Bathing is much more fun than in an ordinary tub."

Bridget and Giovanna looked at Adam, who grinned at them. "You have a bathtub in the house? The kind that are in the hotels in the big cities? And you've always made us warm the water for a bath?"

Giovanna was flabbergasted.

"You've never asked what's in the last room."

The women were standing in front of him, arms crossed, and an evil sparkling in their eyes. "Maybe because the room was always locked, and we didn't want to be nosey?"

"Well, Bridget, you can be lucky that Riccardo and I were so dirty today. Otherwise you would have had to carry buckets of water here to take a bath for the rest of the time."

At the look of the two friends he could see that now was a good time to leave the kitchen quickly. He grabbed an apple and took refuge in his office.


	66. Chapter 66

The sun shone in his face. However, it wasn't shining so strong that he had to go into the shadows with Travis. He tenderly stroked his nephew's back. It felt good to have him on his arm. It reminded him of the time when Riccardo was born. Adam was lucky to get the chance to have Travis on his own. It wasn't only Hoss who was struggling to have his son for himself, as soon as he was born. In the last days Ben had spent every spare minute with his first grandchild. Emillia had to drag him out of the farm, so that Koko and Hoss could have some undisturbed time with Travis.

Travis had been in such a hurry to see the light of day that he was already born when a warrior of the village had just told Adam that Koko was in labor. Hoss, and Adam as well, had been so relieved that it hadn't taken so long, and Koko didn't have to suffer too much, and above all, that both were doing so well.

He raised his head as he heard a carriage arrive. His eyebrow slightly rose as he saw it was Bridget. Adam stood up from the bench and walked over with Travis on his arm. "What brings you here?"

He handed her his hand and helped her out. "I'm also pleased to see you, Adam."

His cheek twitched briefly and inwardly he scolded himself, that he was so rude to her once again for no reason. "Excuse me, but I just wondered why you're here."

She shook her head, followed him to the bench, and sat down beside him. "I wanted to look after Travis and Koko."

She saw his astonished gaze. "I think maybe it has escaped your attention that in all those years Koko only had you guys as real friends. And believe me, she's enjoying to talk to another woman, besides her mother."

Adam didn't know what to say, that the two women, who meant so much to him, were apparently going to become friends. Of course he would appreciate if they had a good relationship, but on the other hand he wondered what they were talking about all the time. "You don't have a problem with that, do you, Adam?"

She had noticed his gaze very well. "And if, it wouldn't prevent you from continuing your path."

She smiled at him. "You're always getting to know me better ..." She looked around. "... By the way, where are Koko and Hoss?"

"Hoss had to go to town once again and Koko's fixing some tea."

"Bridget, ..." Koko came out of the house with a pot and two cups, placed them on the table and handed both hands to Bridget, who had raised from the bench. "... Nice that you stop by again after school."

"I wanted to see how you both are doing. We haven't seen each other for more than a week."

Adam wondered how often the two of them had recently met. "We're just fine. Wait, I'll get you another cup."

"No need ..." Adam had risen and handed her her son. ".. I was just leaving anyway."

Skeptically, Koko looked at him, and she didn't take long to know that he was only trying to escape Bridget. She couldn't prevent from rolling her eyes slightly. Frederick's sister had now been here for more than three months, but as it looked, Adam hadn't yet taken a step forward concerning his feelings towards her. She took Travis and made Adam understand by a single glance that she knew exactly what his motivations were. Without paying attention to her, Adam took his hat off the bench and stopped briefly as he saw Bridget's eyes growing larger and looking at something that had to be behind him. He turned around, and saw Amarok, who came to the farm. Even though Bridget had frequently visited Koko since Travis' birth, she was meeting her father for the first time. It was also the first time that she had seen an Indian so close. She stood close to Adam, as she was so much impressed by the appearance of Amarok. Adam, who felt her slight discomfort, took her hand and squeezed it gently.

Amarok greeted his daughter, looked gently at his grandson, and stroked a curl of black hair aside. While Travis was a quite big baby, that was all he had in common with his father. Otherwise one could see very clearly that he was of Indian descent. When Bridget was introduced to him, Amarok greeted her and Adam with a smile.

"It's good that your path has led you here today. It won't be many more moons until I am appointed chieftain. I would like to talk to you about these important days."

How could Adam have seriously believed that Koko's father would forget those days. Seeking help, he looked at Koko, who shook her head slightly with a little smile. Koko had told him in winter, that the counsil of the elders had decided that Amarok was to succeed his father as chief. And the wish of Koko's father was to have Adam at his side during these days. Amarok and Koko had already explained to him some parts of the ceremony, including the smoking of the sacred pipe. To this day, however, Adam hadn't found the courage to talk with the Indian about the fact that he didn't want to have this experience again. But as it looked, there was no way around it now. He had to talk to him to find a solution to this problem. If there was none, he'd do it again for Amarok. He knew what an honour it was that Amarok had chosen him. Traditionally, the son or one of the older warriors accompanied the future chief on his way. "Yes, it's good that we're having a talk today."

"Since I see that my daughter's doing well, you can accompany me back to the village and we can talk."

Adam put his hat on, took a deep breath and followed Amarok.

"I always thought he liked your father?"

The two women sat down on the bench again, and Koko poured them some tea.

"Wynono has only something to discuss with him, which he has been putting off for a very long time."

Bridget laughed softly. "Yes, he can do that perfectly."

She hadn't noticed that she had uttered these words aloud. "If I said, give him time, that certainly wouldn't be the right words."

With a deep breath she turned her head slightly to Koko. "Well, I think that seven years have shown a lot of patience."

"And if I tell you that he loves you? Do you then still have patience with him?"

"Koko, I've known that since Boston, but at some point I have to accept, as hard as it is for me, that he cannot stand by his feelings."

Koko put her hand on her arm. "He's trying, Bridget, and he has already made a lot of progress in the last few months."

"But I don't want to wait another seven years."

Bridget looked at Travis, who slept peacefully on Koko's arm. "Do you know how much it hurts to see all the children, if you want to have some of your own, but you're waiting in vain for the first step of the man you love? I don't want to wait any longer if I want to fulfill the wish of my own family."

Koko looked at her son and knew that if she hadn't told Hoss she loved him, her path would have been different. She would have a man by her side, but she wouldn't share this feeling of love. "For this wish, would you marry a man whom you don't love?"

Looking at the meadow in front of the house, her voice had become very quiet. "No. But I don't know what to do yet. When I told him I was going to New York, he let me go. I wrote him two letters and had to wait over a year for an answer. It was then as personal as my last employment contract. And now I live again with him under one roof. If I said I was leaving Virginia City tomorrow, he would surely take me to the stagecoach ... " She looked back at Koko. "Koko, I just don't understand him. One moment he is as close to me as I can wish for, and then, not even five minutes later, I feel a huge wall standing between us."

"Bridget, believe me, he has been working on this wall for a very long time, and if it hadn't gotten more and more openings, you'd still be waiting for a letter to this very day."

Bridget looked at her questioningly, and Koko sat closer to her. "I can't tell you everything, because I think it's his job to tell you about this wall. But what I can assure you is that his feelings are true for you and that it hurts him every time he pushes you away."

Bridget looked down again. "But I have no strength to wait any longer. There are days, I wish I had never followed the music and went into the salon."

"What music?"

She leaned her head back, and her gaze was directed into the distance. She put her arms around her as if she was shivering. "In our house in Boston. I had just come out of my room and heard someone playing on my guitar. As I wondered about it, I went to the salon. There he sat in the chair, and he played not only beautifully, but also sang quietly. I don't know what it was about him, but I remember exactly how I started to smile and wondered whether we would sit one day together in front of the house, him playing the guitar with our children singing along. I was torn from my thoughts, when the music stopped suddenly, and he looked at me. I was so frightened by my thoughts and feelings which I had for a man I didn't know at all, and who was above all Frederic's friend, that I turned on my heels and escaped from the house to get some sense back into my head. The next few days and weeks, I tried to get these pictures of him out of my mind, which gave me a quite hard time. When I saw him again on this rock plateau, I still fought these feelings, and although he had just returned from the valley and was anything but well-groomed, he messed up my entire emotions. When we built the school the weekend after, and I had the impression that he didn't feel any different about me, I didn't resist, but was waiting for things to take their course ... and now for seven years."

Koko watched as Bridget had tears in her eyes. But she quickly closed them and took a deep breath, and when she opened them, she had caught up herself again. When she saw Bridget this way, Koko felt anger at Adam that he was still unable to take a position, but treated Bridget's feelings so roughly. But she also knew she couldn't help him. Amarok and she had shown him the way he could deal with himself and his fears, but he had to take the last decisive step alone. Since no one could help him. "I'd like to tell you a few encouraging words, but I can't. I've known Adam for so long, but I don't know when he'll be ready to admit these feelings. Maybe you should really do it. Maybe you should really leave Virginia City when you're not needed here any longer. And if he doesn't stop you, then you're through with him ... for your sake. So you're able to start something new."

Bridget looked at her and smiled. "Now I finally know why he always talked to you. You have such a wonderful way that makes it easy to think about things and look at them from a different angle."

"But I didn't say much, and I couldn't give you the words to make it easier for you with Adam."

"Yes, you did, and I'm glad that I got to know you and I would have liked to become a good friend to you. But I'm assuming I will be leaving Nevada at the latest after the summer holidays."

Koko put her hand on her arm again. "I can't help you much with Adam, but you wouldn't become a good friend, ... you are a good friend."

They smiled at each other and drank their tea.

XX

"For goodness' sake, Joe, if you told me we had to muck out the entire barn, I'd have given serious thought to helping you."

Jörn pushed the next wheelbarrow with dung out of the barn. "But we'll get to the lake sooner."  
Joe followed him to help unloading the wheelbarrow. Jörn snarled something, but when they had emptied the wheelbarrow, he grinned at his friend. "Do you know what's the best thing about this?"

Little Joe leaned on the pitchfork and waited for Jörn to continue. His friend bent his arm and looked at his upper arm. "Through so much work here, we get muscles, and the girls like that."

With a grimace Little Joe looked at his arm. "Well, I think I still have to push a lot of wheelbarrows."

Jörn laughed loudly. "You must finally grow a bit, otherwise you only will kiss Dianne for the rest of your life. ... No, wait ..." He slapped his forehead with his hand. "... one day she'll be bigger than you, too."

Joe looked at his friend grimly. "I'll get even bigger and you leave Dianne out of this."

Jörn grinned at him cheekily. "Oh, you really like her. And I thought you were running after her because she's so fond of you, and that makes it easier for you."

Little Joe blushed and stuck his hands in his pocket. But then he looked at his friend again with self-confidence. "Well, at least I've found a girl to kiss, unlike you."

They stood face-to-face and then had to laugh at the same time. "Come on Jörn, let's get the barn done so we can get to the lake."

They went back when Jörn stopped and put down the wheelbarrow. "What's this?"  
Joe's friend went to the small bench and took a bow in his hand. "It looks great." From all sides, he looked at it closely. "But it isn't real, is it? It's so small."

Joe, who was standing next to him, took the bow out of his hand. "It's real. Riccardo or Sarah must have brought it from the village. This is a bow the children build there. My brother showed me something like this when I was small, but I found it quite boring."

Jörn took one of the arrows that were still on the bench, and touched the arrowhead. "It's completely dull. With that you can't kill an animal, you can only tickle it."

"It's more about building a bow, not to go hunting."

Jörn took the bow back from Joe and set the arrow. "But you can shoot with it?"

"Definitely, ... hey, don't stretch it so hard! Remember, this is actually for the little ones. Don't break it."

"I'll be careful."

He pointed to the barn door and let the string loose, and the arrow flew against the door. The guys looked at each other enthusiastically, and Joe yanked the bow out of his friend's hand. "Now it's my turn."

He ran to the barn door and took the arrow back to shoot against the door. So it went for a while back and forth between the guys. "Joe, let's look for another target."

Jörn looked around. "How about the flowerpot standing on the table of the porch?" 

Joe held Jörn's arm as he was aiming at the porch. "Oh, better not. If the pot breaks, I'm in trouble again."

"You're right, ..."

Then Jörn held the bow over his head, and with a serious voice he slowly turned around. "Oh, Great Spirit let that arrow find its target."

The guys laughed as Jörn took the bow down as quick as a flash and shot again at the barn door.

X

Ben had checked closely on the bridles for the trail and was annoyed. Again some were getting porous, because they were apparently poorly maintained. He once again had to have a serious talk with George that he had to pay more attention to the hands. Recently, Ben got the impression that his foreman was gradually becoming too old for this job. Ben paused briefly when he realized that George was with him for twenty years now. He had to smile slightly. He would have a talk on the trail with him alone, how he was thinking about his future. George would still be able to do the job for two or three years, but then? Ben would give him the offer to get a piece of land, and that, if he wanted to, he could still make a few bucks with it on the ranch. He chuckled further as he realized how fast time had passed and what had happened in all those years. He kept checking at the bridles as he saw the barn door from the corner of his eye. He registered with a slight groan, that it already hung again lop-sided in its frame. He had to fix it before the trail. Ben heard Little Joe's friend still shouting, as he already felt a sharp pain in his butt. He looked to the barn door with huge eyes, and had to rest with both hands because pain robbed him of breath.

Hoss and Adam were just riding around the corner as they saw Joe and Jörn running to the barn. The two brothers followed the boys with their eyes. When they had realized the situation, they jumped off their horses and ran to their father, who was leaning against the barn door. Adam stood behind him and looked at the mishap. Hoss, who had had a frightened face, began to bite his lips to keep from laughing. Adam, too, had to clear his throat. "Pa, just keep quiet. It's not that bad. The arrows are indeed specially shaped that they can't seriously hurt anyone."

His father turned his head to the side. His face wasn't only red from pain. From his voice you could clearly hear how angry he was. "Hoss, I see you're laughing. I don't think it's funny at all, and Adam, ..." He started to turn slightly, but then grimaced in pain. "... pull it out ... NOW."

"Uhm, ..." Adam cleared his throat again, so as to not laugh out loud, "... of course, Pa."

He pulled the arrow out with a jerk. His father gave out a loud groan, placed his hand to the wounded spot and turned to his sons and Jörn. The two boys were standing in front of him with their heads down, and they didn't say a word, while Hoss and Adam were still struggling not to laugh out loud. "Pa, ..." Adam took another deep breath. "... should I look at the ... spot? How deep it ... "

He swallowed again as next to him Hoss started to snort with laughter. With a furious look, Ben looked at his two elders and walked very cautiously and hobbling to the house, with his hand on his butt, not without bawling on Little Joe beforehand. "And we both will have a talk, too ..."

Now Adam and Hoss couldn't restrain themselves any longer. Laughing loudly, Hoss put his arm on Adam's shoulder. When Adam saw the two guys who still stood very still, he was trying to be serious again. "Joe, ... Jörn, can you please tell me what happened? What are you doing with Riccardo's bow?"

Joe and Jörn had both their hands in their pockets, and one could see clearly, how scared they were. "It was out here, and we just tried it. ... Adam, we didn't want to shoot Pa. He was suddenly there ... "Joe lowered his head again and his voice was very sad and quiet. "... I never wanted anyone to get hurt after what happened to you back then."

Instantly Adam knew what his little brother was thinking of. Even then the whole thing had happened in front of the barn. So he put his hand on his brother's shoulder and spoke very understandingly to him. "Joe, that was an accident. Hoss and I would certainly not have allowed Riccardo to build such a bow if he could seriously hurt someone. Yes, if you get hit, it's very painful, but not dangerous. So the young warriors are learning first how to build a bow and that it can only be used with caution. It's a weapon. And no one who has ever gotten such an arrow will then use his bow just for fun."

Adam looked at Jörn, who still had the bow in his hand, and took it out of his hands. "Joe, this bow is for the children of Riccardo's age, and if he had used it, the arrow would never have been so deep in Pa's ..." He had to take a quick breath as he remembered the picture a few minutes ago. "… well, …. it would have been less painful, but Jörn has much more strength. That's why he could stretch the string much more."

Now Hoss laughed loudly again and grabbed Joe by the arm. "And if you had shot him, Little Joe, it had probably just bounced off his butt."

Before Adam had to laugh out loud, he pushed Little Joe toward the house. "Well, now go inside and get Pa's telling-off."

Hoss and Adam followed the two, and Hoss was grabbing his butt and bouncing up. Even as they entered the house, they couldn't stop laughing.

XX

Giovanna looked at her list and then she looked down the street again. "I'd like to go to the little shop near the church. They have such wonderful fabrics there, and I have to sew one or two new dresses."

At the same time, she smiled at Bridget, who looked at her the same way. "Did you already tell Frederic?"

"No, not yet. I had to realize first that it really happened after such a long time. I hardly didn't believe it any more."

Bridget had to grin. "No wonder, with this house and that view. There you can surely come to rest and ... "

They said no more, but her friend grinned knowingly. "Well, then my dear, I would think it over again to live there with Adam. Otherwise you'll never be able to work as a teacher again, because you will have to wash the nappies all the time besides cleaning the windows."

Bridget's smile faded as quickly as it had risen. Her friend stopped and held Bridget by the arm. "Did I say something wrong? I just thought, …. well, at the moment you two are so familiar with each other."

Her gaze was compassionate. For so long she suffered with her friend. "You're not any step further yet?"

Bridget shook her head, and the two women went on to the shop. "Not even one. It's like in Boston, a back and forth, but I'll be looking for a new job and leave Nevada once Mr. Conner can teach again."

Giovanna stood stunned again. "You're not serious about that?"

"Yes, I've got no choice. Because I cannot go on this way. I'm old and gray until Adam makes a decision."

"And if you take the initiative? In Italy this isn't unusual when the gentlemen are too cowardly to give up their liberties."

Laughing, Bridget shook her head at the image of men in Italy fleeing before women who were running after them. "No. Not only that I'm not educated that way, but it isn't because he's too shy or doesn't want to give up his freedom. There's something else that prevents him to stand by his feelings. We both know exactly what we feel for each other, so he has to be ready for the first step, and not because I'm taking him by surprise."

Giovanna began to rumble loudly in Italian. As always, when the temper went through her friend, Bridget didn't understand a word, but she was sure Adam wouldn't get away well with it. "Giovanna, let him live."

They both went on. "But it's true!"

They crossed the street, and Bridget looked to the left, just as she was about to tell her friend that she hadn't understood anything, when she froze in the movement and looked open-mouthed at the picture just before her very eyes. While Giovanna still went on because she was still so furious, Bridget was unable to move.

XX

Adam left the church, looked at his watch, and rolled his eyes. It was quite late again. The request of Emillia, only to briefly inform the priest that the Ponderosa would donate the meat for the summer festival this year, had taken a full hour. He felt this restlessness and impatience again. Actually he would have to go to the mountain before the cattle drive. But since the wound of his father had been inflamed, and he still couldn't sit for a long time, the whole preparation depended on him. He took a deep breath. His father wouldn't be able to participate on the trail either. He had promised Hoss before the accident that he didn't have to join the trail this year in order to devote his entire work on the farm, so he could be with Travis and Koko. He looked into the blue sky. There wasn't a single cloud to be seen. It was already very warm. If the weather didn't change, this year would be the pure torture for man and cattle. They wouldn't be so fast and surely take two or three weeks longer. The only person the slow pace would meet, would be George. He would also have to talk to him on the trail. His father and he had decided that it would be best to talk to him when George himself noticed that his bones were getting too old for this job. Adam put the watch away, took a deep breath, and went downstairs.

A short glance, then he shook his head inwardly. He wouldn't put up with them. Not today and not tomorrow. He didn't even care about Buck telling that he was a coward. He had no more desire for this childishness. So Adam simply went on to his horse, which was on the other side of the street. "Tell me, Buck, isn't that this Cartwright fellow you're always telling me about?"

"Yes, it is, and as it looks, he's scared shitless. Otherwise he wouldn't try to get to his horse so quickly. Hey, Adam, why don't you stop, or have you been getting so yellow since the dandies from Boston live with you?"

Without paying attention to Buck and his friend, Adam wanted to cross the street when Buck grabbed him by the arm. "Tell me, you're not coming out of church?"

Buck looked up the few steps to the building. "Does the priest know that you don't care about church?"

Adam pulled away his arm and wanted to continue his way as Buck's friend blocked his way. "What do you mean by that, Buck? Doesn't your friend believe in God?"

Buck uttered a dirty laugh. "No, he believes in other gods. Adam likes to dance half-naked with the savages around the fire and to beg that he always has enough girls' dresses in his closet."

Shocked, Buck's friend looked at Adam.

"Just try a closer look. He's openly carrying a girl's chain."

"You're not a friend of them dirty redskins?"

Buck's friend hit against Adam's chest to provoke him. But Adam made no sound and made no thoughtless movement. Today he wouldn't let the wrong wolf out. He was about to pass the man before him, when this guy wanted to grab the chain. "This is a damn chain of them dirty red pigs. Get rid of it!"

But before he was able to grab it, Adam had hit him so hard that he staggered backwards a few yards, then went to the ground. Adam ignored him and didn't look at Buck, but only wanted to go to Sport and leave town. Then he heard the shrieking voice of Mrs. Alberts from the little shop.

„ADAM!"

In a split second, Adam turned around and realized that Buck's friend had just got up again and reached for his weapon to gun him down. Without thinking about it, Adam drew his gun and fired. Buck's friend held his belly and went slowly to his knees. Adam put back his gun without turning his eyes away from him. But then all the blood drained out of his face and his heart stopped. Slid behind the man on the ground stood Bridget, looking at him with wide eyes. Adam instantly realized if he had only slightly missed the target, she would have been hit. All these years he had been thinking about all the situations she might die of here in Nevada, but in none of his ideas he had shot her. With full force the bad wolf lunged, as Buck approached him from the side. When he was lying several yards away from him on the ground, Adam was sure Buck would only take soup for the next few weeks. Then he felt a burning pain on his right side. Without thinking, he tore his shirt open and threw it to the ground. Blood flowed down his side, but as it looked, it was only a graze. Adam ran a few yards and kicked with such an incredible rage against Mrs. Alberts' mop bucket that it flew into her shop window. Then he put his hand in front of his eyes and tried to calm down somehow.

„Adam …?"

Very carefully, Bridget touched Adam's back. In all these years she had never seen him so upset. "Adam, please turn to me."

As her hand was still lying on his back, she could feel him breathing deeply. She went back a little. When he turned to her, she looked at him, startled. "You're hurt."

Adam put his hand just over the wound and looked down to face her eyes. His voice was no more than a whisper. "You could've been dead."

When she put her hand on his chest, she felt that his heart was beating too fast. His face and eyes reflected so many feelings which she had never seen before in him at once. It was a mixture of worry, sadness, despair, fatigue, love and ... fear. She tilted her head slightly. Yes, she had been afraid for him and especially a few minutes ago, but the fear she saw in his eyes was different. A much bigger one. The longer she looked at him, the more she wondered if that was the reason for his hesitation. "But I'm alive."

She was terrified as the fear in his eyes turned into anger. "But if I had missed the target, you'd be dead now!"

Now she put her other hand on his chest. "But you haven't."

His anger hadn't subsided yet. "How can you see it all that easy?"

Her eyes fell on the snake. Adam hadn't told her yet what importance it had for him, but since it was an Indian chain, it had to be something like this stone at that time in Boston. Often she had seen him touch it when he was concerned about something. So she carefully put two fingers on the chain. "I'm not only here in the West since yesterday, and believe me I've seen and heard many things that I've never imagined before. The shooting didn't shock me, but only that you were there, and the worry that something might happen to you. But you had no choice. You had to act immediately. If you had thought first and looked around, you wouldn't just have a graze."

Adam put his hand on hers and pressed it a little closer to the chain. "I can't see that easily. If I just missed by a few inches ... "

"Adam, didn't you always say in Boston and here, the things that happen are to happen, and it would be a waste of time to worry about what could have been? Weren't these your words to Frederic, when the accident happened on the construction site? Didn't you say he shouldn't look to the past when he always had this pain in his hand? But to see instead what he can do despite the pain?"

Adam looked at his chest. He didn't see the snake through her hands, but he felt its warmth and the warmth of Bridget's hand and thought of the second law of the vision journey. 'Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have been different from what happened to us. Not even the most insignificant detail. There simply was no: If I had done things differently ... then it would have been different. ... No, what happens is the only thing that could happen and had to happen, so we could learn our lessons to get ahead. All, yes, every one of the situations that happen to us in life are absolutely perfect, even if our mind and our ego resist and don't want to accept it.' He took his hand away and then put his arms around Bridget and hugged her. Satisfied, he exhaled as he felt the false wolf retreating, and the good one taking its place comfortably in his heart. Adam kept Bridget in his arms and relaxed more and more, but before he could think about whether it was the right moment to bring the last stones of his wall to a fall, a loud voice sounded.

"Adam ...!"

Adam let go of Bridget and looked to the Sheriff, who had just kneeled beside the dead man.

"What happened here?"

XX

Adam closed the barn door. It was still much too hot for this time of year, and so they had decided to leave two weeks earlier to avoid the heat possibly. That's why it would start in two days. Hoss had quite bawled at him on the day of the incident in town. Why he hadn't told him how much work he had, and that Pa wouldn't join the cattle drive? So Hoss had told him that he would accompany him on the trail. Adam shouldn't even think about trying to talk him out of this. In addition, Adam should definitely grab his bag before they'd leave and climb to his mountain. Otherwise, he would drag him up there himself.

Adam wiped the sweat from his forehead and entered the house. Even as he opened the door, he heard Giovanna scolding loudly in her own language. Slowly he put his hat down and looked at the scene. Frederic and Giovanna were standing in front of the fireplace in the living room, Frederic's wife waving wildly with her arms, and his friend only looking at her with wide eyes. Bridget sat on the settee and sewed the buttons to Adam's shirt. He sat down next to her and at the same time took the glass that stood in front of her to look at her questioningly. "You can take a sip. The tea is from Koko, and it doesn't only taste very good, it's also nicely cold."

Adam drank some tea and closed his eyes as the cool liquid ran down his throat. Then he bent back to Bridget. "You know what this is all about?"

"Not really. It started when he said they were about to leave for Reno, so they could find some accommodation in the next city before winter, and then Giovanna just started off."

Adam's eyes wandered amused back and forth between the two of them. He never thought that Giovanna could put a rocket under Frederic. If she had done that at the beach, he wouldn't have left it without telling her he was going to marry her right away. "Does Frederic understand what she says?"

"Not a word. Until today, he hasn't bothered to learn Italian. And for me, she just always talks way too fast when she is so riled up. But you must understand some as you speak some Spanish?"

Adam looked to Giovanna, trying to understand some of the things with which she confronted his friend. Suddenly, Giovanna turned to Adam and now she was rattling at him, but so that he could understand her. "Didn't we tell you over and over again, you shouldn't sit so dirty and sweaty on the settee?"

Adam pressed his lips together and tried to look at Giovanna as innocently as possible. But she had already turned back to her husband. With her elbow, Bridget pushed Adam. "Don't you worry, Adam. I'll put some of the supper aside and smuggle it to your room."

They both grinned at each other. "Well, ... here you have your shirt back, but promise to undo the buttons next time and not to tear it open."

His face got serious when he took the shirt. "I hope there is no next time."

She looked at him briefly. Although everyone in the house had noticed how well his trip to the mountain had done him, for their relationship it had been a bad decision. If she had thought in town that he was ready, he now was very far from her. He hadn't been curt or rude for the last few days, but he had made sure that he never came too close to her. She had been wondering that he had sat down beside her. Bridget looked up, because she noticed how quiet it suddenly was. Giovanna stood there with her arms crossed, looking defiantly at her husband. "And what are you going to say?"

Frederic scratched his head embarrassed, and looked helplessly at Adam and Bridget, who both raised their arms at once, to signal that they would stay out of this. So he looked back at his wife. "I've got no idea what you were talking about."

Giovanna rolled her eyes and cursed softly in her language, but they all understood. "I asked you how you imagine that. Riccardo has to go to school after the holidays, and I have no intention of traveling through the country being pregnant."

Adam turned his head to Bridget, and she could read the question from his lips, so she just nodded. His eyebrows went up, and he brought an 'Oh' over his lips.

"But I can't leave you here alone."

"Why not, Frederic?"

They all looked pretty dumbfounded at Adam. "Because she's my wife and I like to have her with me, not to mention Riccardo and the baby we're expecting."

"But Giovanna's right. Riccardo has to go to school after summer. You can't move about the country with him."

Now Frederic crossed his arms and looked at Adam challengingly. "As I have heard, this is nothing unusual."

Adam stood up. "But it's not good, and we have only Reno and California ahead. You can reach all these places easily from here, and you have to keep in mind, if the conflict between the North and the South should intensify, then the stations are over and done for the time being."

"Since when are you so pessimistic?"

"Not pessimistic. I think further. If the work is stopped, we can accept all the other inquiries without any problems. Here in the west, so much is being built in the near future. We're going to be swamped by work. And if we have an office here, we don't need to exchange constantly by mail. We could then discuss all the problems directly."

Frederic dropped his arms and looked around. "I don't know if this is a good idea. I never wanted to live in the West. I've been able to persuade myself of California, but Virginia City?"

"Think about it, Frederic. In any case, you can still stay here, and if you've made a decision by the time I'm back from the cattle drive, we can start building your house right away. Then you can celebrate Christmas in your own home."

Frederic opened his mouth to say something, but Giovanna was quicker. "There's nothing to think about, Adam. We'll stay and use the summer to find a nice place for our house."

Frederic looked at Adam and shrugged. "I think the decision has been made. My life will end in the wilderness."

The two friends looked at each other and laughed. Giovanna was beaming all over her face. "I think we have something to celebrate this evening. Bridget, you're not going to leave at the start of the holidays, are you? Now that you've clarified everything in town."

She looked at Adam and her friend with a knowing smile, and both knew at once that she meant the quite intimate embrace. Shortly, Adam looked at Bridget and then left the house without saying anything else. He returned again in the night to pack some things for the cattle drive, but until the start he spent the days and nights outside with the cattle.


	67. Chapter 67

Hoss couldn't refill his canteen as often as he emptied it in this heat. He looked up into the sky. As in recent weeks, not a single cloud was to be seen. They could only be glad that they had George. This cunning old devil still knew one or the other water hole, which hadn't dried up yet. As expected, they were moving on very slowly, and the mood among the men was about to tilt. But until now, the foreman still had them well under control. Hoss looked up again. He didn't know if he wanted rain. Because he was sure if there was rain, then they would have to deal with everything that goes along with it. As nervous as the herd was already, a fierce thunder would probably be enough to result in a stampede.

It was late afternoon and Hoss hoped George would soon come back having found a suitable place for the night. They still had enough water, but they needed a waterhole for the cattle. He turned to see where his brother was. Hoss wanted to talk to him about how they could prevent the mood among the men getting worse. Adam had also grown quieter and more thoughtful during the last few days, and Hoss wondered what he had on his mind. He didn't think it was about the trail, but for the moment it was no use talking to him. He knew his brother well enough that this wasn't the right time. Due to the amount of dust he couldn't see him, but what Hoss noticed was that George was finally coming back. So he led his horse into a trot and rode to meet him.

"George, please tell me you've found a place for the night!"

The foreman stopped beside him and first took a long drink from his canteen before giving Hoss an answer. "Yes, I have, and I think we can take a break there."

"A day off?"

"Sure, son, unless you want the men to go for each other's throats, and the cattle getting even more nervous."

Hoss shifted uneasily back and forth on his saddle. "I don't know what Adam will say. He's already not thrilled that we're moving so slowly anyway. If we take an extra break, he won't be pleased."

George hung his canteen back on the saddle and wiped the sweat from his forehead. Hoss thought he looked pretty pale and tired. Even though he apparently knew every water spot that was around in a thousand miles, Hoss wondered if it had been a good decision to take George on the trail in this heat. Even if Pa and Adam thought he would do the job another one or two years, he didn't look like it at the moment. "Don't you worry about your brother, even if he is very uncommunicative during the last few days, he will understand when I tell him."

Hoss nodded and trusted the foreman. He had always had a good connection with Adam as far as the work was concerned.

In the evening, Adam joined the foreman at the supply cart and looked at him closely. Hoss hadn't been wrong when he said George seemed to be very tired. It was true that they were all quite done because of this weather, but he didn't like the way his foreman looked at all. "George, did you eat and drink enough today?"

George smirked. "Weren't these the words that I asked you at your first trail?"

Adam took some food and nodded to the old cowboy to follow him to the small bench on the wagon. "I'm just worried. You look so tired."

"Ain't we all, son?"

Adam poked around in his food. The conversation was anything but easy for him. Finally, he had learned most of the work on the ranch from him, and now he had to tell him that he had the impression that he was slowly getting too old for the job. From the corner of his eye he saw that George was grinning at him. "I didn't teach you that."

Adam looked at him again. "What didn't you teach me?"

"How to tell someone he isn't needed anymore."

In bewilderment Adam let his fork drop onto the plate. "I would never say that, George, and you know it."

Smiling the foreman put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Adam, we've known each other for so long, and even if it's not always easy to see what's going on in your mind, I've noticed that you wanted to tell me it's time to make room. I noticed it for weeks."

"But I would never say that we don't need you any longer. But as you have realized correctly, I think you should take it more easy."

Adam put the plate aside and sat down next to his foreman. "George, we'd like to donate you a piece of land on the Ponderosa as a thank you for being loyal to us for so many years and standing by us ..." Adam closed his eyes briefly, "... ME in difficult times. We also don't want you to leave, just to work a little less, and perhaps help us to find a new foreman."

The foreman pointed to Adam's plate. "Son, you're supposed to eat when you've got time, even if your body tells you you're too tired to. You don't know when you will have the next opportunity to do so."

Adam rubbed his nose and lowered his eyes. "Don't make it so hard, George."

George put his hand on Adam's thigh. "I won't make it hard for you. I think you'll have the cattle on the market in three weeks, and then you'll have time to think about a successor."

"You won't help me?"

The foreman shook his head. "No. You won't need my help any longer. Besides, you already know who you can trust."

"But if I still need your help?"

The old cowboy stood up, supporting on Adam's shoulder. "I'll take care of the men and tell them that they can rest tomorrow."

Adam looked up at him. "Oh, will they?"

"Yes, they will. Otherwise their minds are going to overheat. And I'll dish out some of the whiskey. But Adam, always remember my words. Never give them too much in such weather, or else they'll kill each other."

Adam just nodded and looked at the bench. The conversation hadn't gone as he had imagined. But then they would talk once more having a beer in the saloon after they had loaded the cattle.

The weather didn't get any better, but as so often, George had made the right decision. The one day's rest had done the men well. Although the sound was always rougher than usual, you didn't feel that just one look was enough to make the mood get out of hand. This day had also given the cattle new strength, and surprisingly, they advanced faster, despite the weather. With a little luck, they would reach the town in about two weeks. Adam looked at Rusty, who was walking beside him. "Oh, today you are with me, young lady? Did you get thrown out of the wagon?" The dog lifted her head briefly and trotted along beside Sport. Just as Adam knew Rusty, it wouldn't take long until she would run back to the wagon to curl up there. This year, too, it was very hard for the dog, and he hadn't really intended to take her on the trail, but in the last days of the preparations, she didn't budge from his side. As if she had sensed that he had been angry about himself. Now, weeks later, he couldn't even understand why he had just left. Why hadn't he talked to her before he went to the mountain? There he had had too much time to think about everything, and then it was back. This fear that if he stood to his feelings, he could lose Bridget again within a short time. He had to laugh bitterly. As it looked, he had lost her right now. When he returned she surely wouldn't be there any more. She'd use the summer holidays to look for another job, and considering the way he had treated her during the past months, certainly far from him. If Bridget didn't write him another letter, he wouldn't know where she was. Because Giovanna wouldn't tell him. He had met her briefly before the trail started, and she hadn't said a word to him. But her gaze had been enough. That was worse than any temper outburst, he'd ever experienced from her.

Adam looked ahead and was about to take a sip from his canteen when he saw how George straightened before him in the saddle and rode to some trees to slowly dismount and sit down in the shade. Adam let Sport trot over. With his canteen in his hand, he went to the foreman and was shocked at how tired he looked. "George, I told you to drink more." He handed him the canteen, but he took only a little sip. Adam knelt beside George. "Why don't you ride to the wagon and rest? We're almost there."

"Adam, did you ever realize how calm it is, even though we are on the road with so many cattle and men? How peaceful? On a trail I could always think about a lot."

They both looked to the herd, which slowly passed them. "Haven't you always told me not to dream in the saddle?"

George leaned his head against the tree. "Yeah, you always followed exactly what I told you."

Worried, Adam looked back at the foreman. "George, what's the matter with you?"

The old cowboy looked into his eyes. "You know already, son. My journey's over here."

Adam shook his head and sat closer to George. "No, it's not. You should sit down on the wag ..."

The old cowboy put his hand on Adam's arm. "Adam, ... you ain't someone who is lying to himself, and ... it's not bad that my trail's over here."

Adam lowered his head. He had already guessed in the past few days that something like this was going to happen. George had looked too bad, but whenever he had talked to him, George had smiled and assured him that everything was all right. "But I would have liked to take you back home with me."

"Adam, this is my home. The work. The cattle and the trail."

Adam had to swallow. "I don't want to leave you here alone."

The foreman's voice slowly lost strength. "I'm not alone. Especially you have to know that. Look around. Nature and I will become one. Isn't that what your friends, the Indians, believe? That the soul can be found in everything here?"

Adam held his fist to his mouth. "As you can see, son, I've also learned a lot from you."

"But that doesn't make things easier."

"For me it does, and besides, I can always see from here whether you're coping well with your next cattle drives, means you should remember what I've taught you." George took a deep breath. "Adam, there's still something else that's very important to me ..."

"George, please don't ..."

Suddenly the voice of the foreman got its old strength back. "No, you're going to listen to me now, Adam! I know that you like to do everything on your own, and a lot must happen before you open up to others. Therefore, you must promise me one thing, son. Don't be too proud or too ambitious and don't lose sight of the essentials. You and ..." He slapped his chest lightly. "... your heart."

"I won't."

George turned his head to him. "Then promise me not to commit the same mistake as I did."

"George, I'll take care of myself."

"Adam, like you, I hesitated so long till she was gone. When I realized my mistake, it was already too late. Another one was faster. My journey will end as I wished, but here ..." He put his hand on his heart again. "... here, I'm alone, so damn lonely. And believe me, son, this isn't a nice feeling."

His jaw hurt because he clenched his teeth too hard when he tried to keep his feelings under control. Again Adam had put his fist to his mouth. His other hand lay on the snake. Then he took his hand slowly from his mouth. As it looked, everyone in his environment noticed what he felt for Bridget. At the same time he was said to show too little emotion. "George, I promise you. If I can prevent it, I won't let her go."

George looked into his eyes and nodded. "I believe you. Now sit with me at the tree to join me on my journey."

Adam sat down next to George. They did not speak a word.

Hoss saw from a distance that Adam was leaning against a tree with George. Certainly, the two of them were talking about the future of the foreman. He wouldn't interfere now, although he wondered if the two had fallen asleep during the talk. Adam had leaned his head back against the tree while George's head was on Adam's shoulder.

XX

With a satisfied smile, Ben dismounted his horse and looked at the porch. Emillia had been right years ago. He should simply be patient, then his second wish to enrich the Ponderosa with life would has already come true as well. He tied his horse as Sophie came running toward him with arms outstretched. Ben picked her up and went on. He winced as he noticed Riccardo and Sarah shooting arrows at a wooden wheel, which was strung with strings. First, he wanted to forbid the two to play with it, but Koko had told him that this was a game of skills from the village. The children were trying to shoot the arrows through the net. In the beginning, the two had still rolled the wheel to make it more difficult, but Ben hadn't allowed this because of his fear the arrow would hit the wrong target again. Ben let Sophie down and stood with a smile in front of the table on the porch. "Is there still a place for me or aren't men welcome here?"

Emillia smiled and looked at the other women sitting with her at the table. It had been a very spontaneous meeting. Koko had come for a tea with Travis, and Giovanna and Bridget had, as so often, been looking for Riccardo. So they had gathered and enjoyed the first cooler summer day together. "Of course. I'll get you another cup. The cake should have cooled enough that we can eat it."

She got up, and Ben sat at the table and looked at his sleeping grandson. Ben still had to get used to the fact that Koko carried him in a papoose, as it was common with the Indians. If Koko didn't wear it on her back, it wasn't laid down, but set upright, so that Travis could see his surroundings. If Ben had thought that the moment Adam lived in his own house, the Indian customs and traditions would be diminishing in his life, and that, as a result of that, the interests of Sarah would diminish, too, he couldn't escape those habits after the birth of Travis. Although his grandson, as well as Koko, would grow up in both worlds, Ben would now know exactly what the childhood of an Indian looked like. And that something would change Sarah, he didn't believe anymore. It wasn't only that his eldest had passed on all he had learned from Amarok and Koko, no, with Riccardo, her enthusiasm for life in the village had been reinforced even more, and she always sought a reason why she wanted to visit Hoss and Koko. Ben was curious to see how that would evolve if Riccardo would move on with his family. Although he had to admit that he would miss the cheerful nature of Riccardo. Ben looked around and admitted to himself that he would really like to see if they all stayed here. They changed life so much on the Ponderosa. Just like Little Joe's new friend Jörn. Even if he had liked to do without one or the other encounter.

"Bridget, nice that you're here. I was kind of worried that you might leave without saying good-bye."

"Ben, I wouldn't do that. You have so kindly accepted me into your circle."

"Yes, and it's hard for me to express my request. I know you want to look for a job somewhere else. Especially I can understand that you want to see as much as possible of the country. "

Bridget tried to smile and looked briefly at Emillia, who sat with the cake on the table. If Ben only knew that she didn't really intend to move around the country. But she had to do it for her own sake.

"What is it, Ben?

Emillia gave everyone a piece of cake and Ben poured himself some coffee. "I just came from Paul, and he told me that Mr. Conner definitely still needs another two months until he can teach again. So I wanted to ask you, Bridget ..." He tried to look as kindly as possible. "... whether you couldn't stay to continue the lessons." Before Bridget could answer, he raised his hand and looked at her. "I know that it'll be hard for you to find other employment in the middle of the school year, but the pupils know you, and we wouldn't find another so soon."

Bridget closed her eyes for a moment. If only Ben could guess that this was her least problem. The time to leave now would be so perfect. She hadn't seen Adam for almost two months, and the farewell in the next week wouldn't have been so hard for her. But when he was back, and she had to leave? She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and looked at the other women. Koko, Giovanna and Emillia saw her despair, and that she didn't know what to do. Each of them looked into her eyes, and one by one put her hand on hers, to give her courage. Bridget had to swallow when she saw how the eyes of the three were filled with so much affection. Very slowly, she nodded. Then her departure would be a bit delayed, but after that nothing would be able to stop her. "Of course I will. I'll find a job somewhere else, or I'll make it true and go to England or France."

"Bridget, I'm so happy. Then you can help me in the design of our house."

Now her friend also had to grin slightly. "For this, you should first agree on a location."

Ben was taken by surprise. "Location?"

Emillia took Sophie on her lap, who wanted to have some cake. "I haven't told you yet. Frederic and Giovanna are staying here and will build a house."

Ben looked at Giovanna and couldn't hide his joy. "And that news Riccardo and Sarah could keep to themselves?"

"What could we keep to ourselves?"

His daughter and Riccardo had also come to the table to see what kind of cake there was. "Ben didn't know we didn't tell you yet that we had found a school for you."

Riccardo and Sarah looked at each other sadly and his voice reflected his lack of 'joy'. "And where?"

"In Virginia City."

Sarah leaned on the table and Riccardo's joy was still limited. "And when do we go to Reno?" 

"Well, I had no intention of looking at the construction site of your father and Adam, but if you want to, we can do it in the next vacation."

Riccardo looked at his mother in confusion, wrinkled his nose and was then pushed hard in the side by Sarah that he had trouble not to tip over. "Hey ..."

She was all smiles. „Nišnála owáŋžila."

Completely confused, Riccardo glanced at his friend. "What?"

She hit him again. "You stay."

"What?"

Riccardo quickly glanced at his mother, who looked at him with a warm smile. "Yes, we will stay, and until we have a house of our own, we will still live with Adam."

The children jumped up and shrieked. Sophie covered her ears and Ben looked at them admonishingly. "Can you do that a mite quieter?"

The two didn't take any notice of him. But then Riccardo stopped and looked back at his mother. "Can't we live permanently with Uncle Adam? Then Winona and I can always see each other."

The adults at the table couldn't resist a smirk when everyone had in mind, how Adam would roll his eyes. But as good-natured as he was, he would agree to the proposal.

"No, we will build our own house."

Now it was Sarah, who looked at her with big eyes. "And where? Not so far away, won't you?"

"Yes, Ma, not so far away. Uncle Adam must show me what a real cowboy has to do."

Ben leaned back and took a sip from his cup and wondered once again how his eldest managed to have so much patience with the children. But it was nice to see how they were happy about this news, and it couldn't be denied that the friendship with Riccardo did Sarah well. Since then, he also got along a little better with her.

"Your father and I haven't yet been able to agree on a location. Everything we have looked at so far is too close to town, and I don't want to live there. I've been living in a city for the past few years and I've had to endure the noise of the construction site."

The two kids grinned. "Well, if the search takes a long time, then we have to live with Uncle Adam for a long time."

"Don't worry, my son. As soon as your father returns from Reno next week, we'll find a nice place. I want to sit in my own living room this winter. Your father doesn't bring as much dirt into the house as your Uncle Adam."

"Giovanna, if you like, I can show you a place that will surely please you. You ca ... "

"Pa, no, ..." Sarah immediately held her father on the arm. "Riccardo and I won't be so loud any more."

Ben frowned. "Sarah, not only are you interrupting me again, while I'm talking, I don't understand what you mean."

"Well, because we're always so loud, you might suggest a place far from the Ponderosa."

With a laugh he hugged his daughter. "If I intended that, Giovanna and Frederic would have to move to Reno. I think Riccardo and you will agree with my proposal."

He was like her big brother. When he was pleased dearly with something, not only his whole face beamed, but also his eyes had a very special sparkle.

XX

Adam came from the bank and took a deep breath. He was glad each time when he had brought the money from the cattle sale home safely. Actually, he always went to the saloon afterwards and took a beer before he rode home, but today he wanted to go back as soon as possible. He wanted to know if he had really screwed up. Adam was about to mount his horse when he heard a laugh he knew very well. He turned in the direction the laugh came from. He couldn't prevent his heart skipping briefly. She was still here, but the way it looked not for his sake. She just came out of the hotel with a man who was unknown to him. And it was plain to see how well they understood each other. He didn't want to see anything more. He got into the saddle and left town.

X

In good mood, Frederic came to Adam's office and saw, as he was standing in front of the model for the station in Reno, lost in thoughts. He had two small wooden figures in his hand and it seemed, Adam hadn't noticed his friend entering the office. "Hello, Adam. I'm glad you're back."

Frederic had to touch his friend's shoulder so he registered him. "Oh, Adam. Are you sleeping standing up? Then why are you in the office and not in your room?"

Adam startled. He had no idea how long he had been staring at the model. "I'm not tired. Besides, I'd wake up so early, and you know I can never sleep so long."

Amazed, Frederic straightened. "You needn't to bawl at me like that."

Adam looked at him briefly, then lowered his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Excuse me, Frederic. I'm just done."

Frederic smiled at him. "Alright. After these weeks I would probably be done for years. Tell me, ..." He pointed to the figures that Adam kept in his hand. "... you're not overdoing it with those models?"

Adam looked at his hand and a faint laugh came over his lips. "No, they are for Winona. I made them on the trail. I'm assuming when Riccardo's going to school, my sister will spend more time here." He put the figures in the station. "And did you find a place for your house?"

"Yes, but I don't know if you will consider it good as well."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Did Giovanna decide that I should clear my house?"

Frederic laughed and leaned against Adam's desk. "It's not that bad, but your father, for whatever reason, showed my wife a place not far from here where we could build, and what can I say ...?" He shrugged. "You know Giovanna. When she's got something in her mind, it's hard to talk her out of it."

"You don't have it easy with her."

His friend shook his head. "No, Adam, it's true. Even though she's quick-tempered now and then, I don't want her any different. And without you having to grin, I think I need it just that way."

Adam grinned anyway since he remembered how Frederic had been when they had met in Boston. Nothing was to be seen of this Frederic. "Since we're just on this subject. I didn't want to interfere, but she's my sister, Adam. Is there something going on between the both of you? Every now and then I got the impression. I've told you before, I'd have no problem. I might have a problem, that if you don't take it seriously and only take a chance as we all live under the same roof."

Seriously, Adam looked at his friend and again, only the twitching of his cheekbone was visible. Frederic didn't seem to know that his sister was meeting another man. "I've already told you in Boston that I have no interest in your sister in this regard. But you don't need to worry about her reputation. I don't know when she'll leave Virginia City, but when your house is finished, she'll move in with you."

Frederic flinched when Adam bawled at him again. "Then we cleared that up. I think about Reno, we will talk tomorrow?"

Adam took a deep breath. Now he couldn't wait for Amarok to be appointed chieftain, even if that meant that he probably couldn't recall everything. The ceremony would start with two days on the mountain, and these two days were necessary for Adam. Hoss and Koko had promised to pay attention to him this time. "Yes, we have to do that because then I will be in the village for the next few days."

"But you're just back? When are you resting?"

Adam was about to answer when the front door opened and Bridget entered the house and took off her belongings. After she had seen Frederic and Adam, she came into the office. With a kiss on the cheek Frederic welcomed his sister."Hello, Adam. Nice that you're back."

Adam had no smile on his face. "Hello."

Bridget's eyes widened. More, she couldn't say. "Little sister, don't take it personally. He was just bawling at me, too. I think he's just hungry and tired."

Bridget continued to look at Adam. She didn't believe it was because of that. But the reason was certainly not, that she was still staying longer in Virginia City. Again she had to pull herself together to not shout at him, to know what was bothering him this time. It was this behavior that confirmed her decision to continue her life without him. Frederic put his arm around her shoulder. "Now tell me. How was your afternoon with your friend from New York? "

She glanced at Adam, whose cheek twitched briefly. "It was very nice and funny, but as it looks, we won't meet again so soon. He and his wife are going to England. Curt got a job there. But we will write each other for sure."

Frederic and Bridget looked at Adam, who was breathing loudly. "Please excuse me. I need some fresh air."

Adam left the office through the door leading to the garden to calm down by the view of the mountains. Once again he had hastily drawn the wrong conclusions. Bridget shook her head. "I think I'm to blame for his bad mood, little sister. I really thought you two were getting closer and I wanted to tell him about decency, but Adam's the wrong person to be reminded. And besides, he has clearly pointed out to me that he's never going to see more in you than a good friend. I will apologize to him tomorrow, when he has slept."

Bridget put her hand on his arm and continued to look at the door that led out. "You needn't. Not for long, and his moods will be over. I'm sure." She tried to smile. "Well, I'll see what I can do for dinner."

XX

"My Chaska, I feel you're having trouble finding your inner peace, and I think it's not just the hard weeks lying behind you."

Amarok and Adam had already been on the mountain for several hours and looked into the night. "These are your hours, Amarok, not mine."

"Wynono, how can I give myself to the Great Spirit, if my son doesn't succeed because too many thoughts are in his way?"

Due to this statement that Koko's father viewed him as his son, he would always accompany him on a journey. The Indian and his tribe meant too much to him. "I have a fear in me and cannot manage to become one with it, to make a positive use of it for me."

"In the next few days you will realize that everything is in a circle, even your fear is in a circle. Since I know you, there's a restlessness in you. This restlessness is the reason that you cannot use the power of dreams. This again causes your greatest fear to be so strong that you're not able to reach the deepest point of peace within you. What then leads to your restlessness. Sometimes more. Sometimes less."

"I notice more and more how this fear makes me angry because I cannot live with it."

"But the solution is so close. You have to admit it, and then the circle of your fear will change."

They fell silent for a while, and Adam wondered what Amarok wanted to tell him with these words. "Wynono, the meditation helps you to perceive the world first hand. Limits disappear, distances are abolished. So you can live in the valley and on top of the mountain at the same time. You are free to act, to speak and to think in accordance with your mind. Fight your fear, and love will give you strength to use your fear of solitude at its best. There is no point in escaping from yourself by choosing the world's confused and noisy life. Your pain is following you, just as the wolf follows its prey. Expect it, anchored firmly in your midst. Surround yourself with bright thoughts. Take delight at the world like a child - then your pain will melt away like snow under the sun."

Adam wondered if Amarok was talking about his relationship to Bridget? How could he know about it? Koko had certainly not talked to him about it. On the other hand, Amarok had always known what moved him. But was it that simple? Did he only have to admit the feelings, and his fears wouldn't grow stronger, but disappear? Adam's breath became quieter. His body relaxed. He closed his eyes and focused his gaze on the inner light. There, where the split between spirit and matter, soul and body didn't exist. He knew between the two flowed the same flow of spiritual love, which was nothing else than the united, reconciled universe. An oceanic feeling carried him away to a greater light and peace.

The sun was rising when Adam slowly opened his eyes. There it was again, this peace in him that he needed. He looked to the left, but Amarok was no longer sitting next to him. He looked around. The Indian stood at the edge of the ravine and looked into the distance. Adam didn't want to disturb him. Even if it couldn't be noticed, Amarok was certainly nervous about what this day would bring. Amarok and he would still stay here until noon, and then go back to the village. There the final preparations for smoking the sacred pipe would be made. Unlike the last time they wouldn't be in twos in the tipi, but in the middle of the village around the fire with the elders and the shamans. In another circle, the rest of the tribe would then surround them and accompany the ceremony with singing and drumming. Whether Adam would then remember the appointment as chief of Amarok tomorrow, he couldn't tell. But if it were like last time, then certainly not. Adam had asked Koko for two things. First she had to take care that he wouldn't leave the village alone, and secondly that he didn't take part in dances with snakes, let alone taking a snake home. He had listed more things, and at some point Koko had taken his hand, laughing, and promised that Hoss and her would look after him, and they both would take care that he wouldn't do anything else he wouldn't do in a normal situation. Adam hadn't laughed. It was still present to him that he didn't know where he had been that one night.

Adam stood up and looked down into the valley. This night had done him so well. Even if he wasn't going to rush home to tell her what his feelings for her were, he felt that he could deal with his fear differently. He was now ready to let go of the thought that this same fate would befall him like his father. He felt that he was ready to go forward, and that the right moment wasn't far. As Bridget would stay the next few months, he could take his time.

"As I see, your journey has done you well."

Amarok was standing next to him, and he too looked into the valley. He owed so much to Koko's father. There were always moments when he wondered how his life would have been if he hadn't befriended Koko. Would his anger have led him in a completely different way? He shook his head. He shouldn't think about what could have been. "Yes it has. I thank you that you always show me the right way."

"Then you're ready. Accept the confrontation as a joyous test, an obstacle easy to overcome. Hold up a mirror to yourself, and learn to recognize in your weaknesses, your own confusion. Then the struggle becomes a joyous dance. The others will turn to you with open hands, a spirit gleaming in soft light!"

"I will, but now I think our words, our thoughts should deal with what's ahead of you, or do you try to distract it?"

The Indian smiled at him and crossed his arms. "Shall I tell you again about the respect you should have for the older warriors?"

Adam turned to the valley, smiling. "I think we should continue to use the power of silence."

In the late afternoon they reached the village and were taken to the shaman's tipi. There the sacred words were spoken that the Great Spirit should lead Amarok on his new path, and that his decisions would always be wise. Even today, Adam received again an individual facial painting, as in the celebration after the search of his guardian spirit. The last words for the future chief were directed only to him by the shaman. Adam left the tipi and stretched. He felt his bones ache due to the efforts of the last few weeks. Then he saw Koko with Aponi and ... He had to look twice, but then he knew his eyes hadn't played a trick on him. Beside Koko and her mother stood Bridget. Slightly surprised he went to the three women.

"Hello, Wynono."

Aponi welcomed Adam by hugging him warmly. He gave Koko a kiss on the cheek and turned to Bridget. "I'm surprised to see you here, but I'm happy."

Even her he gave a kiss on the cheek. "My mother and I thought that the appointment would be a good opportunity for Bridget to get to know the Gosiute more closely ..." She smiled slightly. "... and what you're doing here."

Adam easily grimaced. "I don't know if today's the best day for that."

Aponi linked arms with him. "Wynono, you're still afraid of what lies ahead of you?"

Adam raised his eyebrows. "Aponi, I would ask you not to talk of being afraid here in the village. Otherwise, I'll get another name."

Koko and Aponi grinned as Bridget looked at them confused. "Amarok gave me my name 'Wynono' as a child. But it isn't uncommon for men to change the name in the course of their lives. It depends on what they have experienced. What characteristics or traits they have. Thus, a strong bear can quickly become the weeping mouse. And I'd like to spare that."

Koko took a step toward him, put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. "We will pay attention to you. In addition, my father has said that the herbal mixture this time won't be quite as strong. Just try to enjoy the next hour."

"You know what's bothering me."

"Wynono, Koko, Hoss and I will tell you everything tomorrow, as Koko has already said. We won't let you go home alone, and maybe it won't be as bad as last time."

Adam could see that Bridget didn't know what this was all about. "When I smoked the sacred pipe with Koko's father the last time ..." Adam took a short breath. "... I missed a few hours afterwards. I don't even know how I got home."

Bridget breathed softly. She knew exactly what it meant to Adam if he couldn't control a situation. Then she had an idea how she might help him. "Koko, is it permitted to make some drawings of the village tonight and what happens here? So Adam could look at everything tomorrow ... " She smiled at him. "... if he cannot remember."

Koko looked at her mother, "Why not. I think that's a nice idea. So there's something of this day for everyone."

Then Koko turned again close to Adam, took his face in both hands and rested her forehead against his. She looked into his eyes. There wasn't only a strength that showed that he was no longer afraid of the coming hours. There was also something else. She had already noticed when he came up to her. The night on the mountain with Amarok had changed him somehow. From the corner of her eye she saw him smiling. They now spoke in the language of the Gosiute. "Koko, my guardian spirit will help me."

She touched the snake. "And I'll take care of you."

He took a step back, smiled at the three women, and returned to the other warriors. Looking at Bridget's face, Koko could see how strange the scene had been to her. Certainly Adam had never explained to her exactly what they both had in common. So she went to Bridget and joined her and her mother. "Bridget, I think it's time for us to tell you about the weeping soul and other things that concern the Indians and Adam."

Bridget tried to smile, but there had been that stabbing in her heart again when she had seen Koko and Adam this way. "Perhaps also what's the meaning of this chain?"

"That too, Koko and I will do. We've got the whole night."

Slowly it grew dark. They sat around the fire and the ritual before the smoking of the sacred pipe was completed. It has now been passed around in a circle and each took four puffs and blew the smoke in the cardinal directions. The shaman spoke of the power of the circle. "In everything we do, we find the form of the circle, because the power of the world always works in circles, and everything strives to be round. Once, when we were a strong and happy people, all our strength came from the sacred ring of our people, and as long as this ring was not broken, people were well. The blooming tree was the living center of the ring, and the circle of the four cardinal points nourished it. The east gave peace and light, the south gave warmth, the west gave rain, and the north with its icy storms lent strength and endurance. Everything the power of the world effects is carried out in a circle. The sky is round, and I've heard that the earth is round like a ball, just like all the stars. The wind in its greatest strength forms vortexes. Birds build their nests round, because they have the same religion as we have. The sun rises and bends to a circle. The same does the moon, and both are round. Also the seasons in their change form a large circle and return again and again. The life of man describes a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is with everything that is moved by a force. Our tipis are round like birds' nests and always set in a circle, the ring of our people - a nest of many nests, where we cherish and raise our children according to the will of the Great Spirit."

After the third turn, Adam felt the effects of the herbs again, and if he had the pipe a fourth time, he wouldn't know anymore.

XX

Bridget entered the kitchen and saw Adam leaning against the sink. He didn't look out of the window, but had lowered his head. She smiled as she thought of yesterday evening and night. She had never seen Adam so relaxed. He had laughed a lot and had been very charming, but without being intrusive. It was as if he was resting in himself. Adam seemed so satisfied and happy, and didn't leave her side after the ceremony. They talked a lot about the Indians and what they meant to him, and he had sung to her songs of the Gosiute. Although she hadn't understood a word, they had been very nice to listen to, and the content must have been extraordinary. Because whenever Koko or Aponi were with them, they smiled knowingly. All the time, he had looked at her as lovingly as he had never done in all these years, and just at the moment he was about to kiss her, Hoss came and said it would be better to go home. Bridget was still slightly blushing as she thought of the moment. She wasn't angry at Hoss, even though it would certainly have been a wonderful kiss, but she knew Adam wouldn't remember what had been yesterday, and that was what she'd expected from him. That he was aware of and standing by his feelings. She pressed the drawing pad closer and wished that one day he would manage to put aside all the responsibility that he had imposed himself to, and to rest in himself as yesterday, but without having to smoke any herbs. And that he shouldn't do this for her or someone else, but only for himself. Who knew, when she would visit Giovanna in a few years, maybe he had reached that goal. She would leave Virginia City in about just over two months to accept a job offer in Louisiana. She looked forward with pleasure to the last weeks she would spend with him and her friends. She would go with a weeping eye, but as in Boston, her hope that something would change in her relationship with Adam seemed to have failed. But again, her decision felt right. And she knew very well that this time it was a final decision.

"Good morning, Adam."

Adam cocked his head and looked at her. Then he straightened up and forced a smile. He had to clear his throat several times, until he found his voice. "Good Morning."

"You look like you've spent three days in the saloon."

"Make three weeks out of it. Then you know how I feel."

She handed him the drawing pad and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for the lovely hours yesterday in the village."

Then she turned and left the kitchen and the house. All of a sudden Adam was awake and wondered what she had meant. He hadn't done something ... He didn't want to finish this thought, and if he had behaved like at the beach, she wouldn't have been so kind to him. But what was it he did? But he wasn't ready yet. Then he looked at the drawing pad in his hand. Would she have drawn it when something had happened? Actually, he wanted to start the day quietly, but as it looked, he would drink his first coffee today at Koko.


	68. Chapter 68

With his hands in his pockets Riccardo stood in the schoolyard poking around in the sand with the tip of his shoe. He wondered what Winona was doing right now? Surely she was in the village or was watching Uncle Adam as he broke horses. He breathed loudly. It wasn't that the first few weeks hadn't been fun at school, but he missed Winona and that they could almost always do what they wanted the whole day long. He looked at the other children. He hadn't really made friends yet. The others were quite nice, but he couldn't talk to them about the Gosiute. Riccardo played with the bracelet that Winona had given him for school starting. She had told him that once Adam had given Koko such a bracelet for a birthday gift, and that it should be a sign of friendship.

"What have you got there?"

Lewis stood with his friends in front of him and looked at the bracelet. "This is a friendship bracelet."

Lewis took Riccardo's hand and looked at the bracelet more closely. "That looks very Indian."

"It is. It doesn't just mean ... "

Lewis released Riccardo's hand. "It's obvious that you're also a friend of the Redskins. My cousin has already warned me."

Frederic's son looked at Lewis and the others in surprise. "Tell me, how is it at your home? Does Little Joe's brother always bring other girls from the village, or are those enough who already live with him?"

Riccardo's astonishment now turned into incomprehension. "Why should he do that?"

Just as Lewis and his friends were laughing, Riccardo realized that it was about something not quite nice. "Well, because it's known that they are easy to get, just like your aunt. My cousin said, who knows what would have happened if the Sheriff hadn't shown up after the shooting in front of the church."

Riccardo still didn't get what Lewis meant, but he was absolutely sure that he hadn't only offended Adam, but his aunt, too. So he pushed Lewis' belly with both hands. "Shut up, Lewis!"

Lewis laughed loudly. "Do you want to beat me up, you little runt? And just because I'm telling what the whole town thinks? That Little Joe's brother's a dirty Indian lover, and your aunt could work well at Madame Baffour's?"

Riccardo was about to pounce on Lewis when Jörn grabbed him by the collar, and Little Joe placed himself in front of Lewis. "I've always known you're cowardly, Lewis, but that you're so cowardly that you have to go after a first grader is new to me."

"This half-pint wants to fight me! And just because I said our nice teacher could work with Madame Baffour when Mr. Conner comes back. As she was playing around with your brother in the street, she must have some experience."

Little Joe took a deep breath and took a step closer to Lewis. He didn't want to punch him because he knew that he wouldn't be allowed to stay at Jörn's for the weekend, but he had to muster all the strength to control himself. "Take that back at once!"

"Why? My cousin says your brother takes everything that's easy to get. You're sure your sisters ain't your nieces?"

Lewis hadn't finished the sentence properly when Joe had knocked him down. In no time they both rolled on the ground. Riccardo stood beside him and cheered on Joe. "Finish him off, Little Joe."

"Riccardo, better restrain yourself. Otherwise you will already get the first letter after less than a month of school."

"Letter? What letter?"

"Haven't you noticed?" Jörn grinned. "If you don't behave well, you'll get a letter home which your parents have to sign. And don't think you're going to get away just because Miss Francois is your aunt. Joe will surely get one today."

"Then I will get one, too. Lewis was mean to Uncle Adam and Aunt Bridget. "

He stood closer to the two boys, who were still fighting. "Go, Little Joe, you're stronger."

Joe had punched Lewis on the chin so that he had fallen backwards and now sat on the ground. Riccardo stood next to him and yelled at him. "You deserved it! Come on, start crying!"

Lewis didn't look, but only drove his elbow and met Riccardo's right eye. Now the boy sat on the ground, holding his hands to his face. Meanwhile Lewis had gotten up again and went on to Joe. Jörn was at Riccardo and helped him up. "Riccardo, now don't you start crying. You had such a big mouth and haven't been afraid to put up with Lewis, although he's fifteen, but if you start crying now, they will call you a baby. So chin up! And don't show it hurts."

"But it hurts."

Jörn ran his hand through Riccardo's hair. "Only the first time."

"What's going on here? Little Joe, ... Lewis, stop right now!"

Bridget pulled Lewis away from Joe and looked at both of them angrily. "I would like to have an explanation for your impossible behavior."

Riccardo surged forward. "Lewis has ... .."

Jörn was behind Riccardo and held his hand over Riccardo's mouth. "Jörn, you let go of Riccardo at once."

Now Tom's son got an angry glare from Bridget. Riccardo glanced up at Jörn, who looked at him and shook his head slightly. Then he carefully took his hand from his mouth. "Joe, ... Lewis? I'm waiting."

The two boys looked at each other. "It was nothing important."

"Nothing important, Lewis? Well, then you'll be able to explain to your parents that you have to stay an hour longer tomorrow because you've started a fight because of nothing. After school, you can pick up the letters. And now go in and prepare for the next hour with me. Understood?"

The guys nodded and went to the schoolhouse. Bridget went to Riccardo, raised his chin, and looked at his eye. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Her nephew shook his head. "Well. Then I will discuss this matter with your mother this afternoon."

She looked at Jörn again, but as she didn't know what had been going on, she couldn't blame him. So she followed Joe and Lewis into the school house.

XX

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Riccardo sat silent beside his aunt on the way home from school. He looked at the bracelet and ran his finger over it. Little Joe and Jörn had told him not to tell what Lewis had said about Bridget, because she would be very hurt. "Why don't some like that Uncle Adam is friends with the Gosiute?"

"Was that the reason for the brawl at the school break?"

"One of them."

Bridget looked at him from the side. It was obvious that the two big boys had talked with him, so that he wouldn't tell everything. "Many of them have never met an Indian, and Lewis is certainly parroting everything his cousin told him. I know Adam already had had problems with Mitch at school."

Riccardo turned the bracelet around his wrist. "But Lewis wasn't the first to talk this way about the Gosiute. If they don't know them, why do they talk about the Indians like this?"

Bridget wondered what to say to Riccardo. She could hardly tell him about raids on the treks or farmers. "The relationship between the Whites and the Indians isn't easy, Riccardo. Our ways of life are so different, and who knows if you would have ever visited a village, if Adam weren't good friends with them?"

"But Lewis has said things that are not true. He just spread lies."

"Because he doesn't bother if it's true what his cousin's telling him. It's easier to believe what someone's telling you, than to convince yourself of it. Many are afraid of the Indians because they're different from us. You know that their way of life differs from ours, but in any other respect they're just like you and me."

She stopped the buggy and turned to her nephew. "Riccardo, you'll always find that there are people who reject others just because they are different. Therefore, it's important that you listen to your heart and not to what others are trying to convince you of. Look at your own family. We're all born in different countries, but it's never been an issue between us."

Riccardo took a deep breath and looked at his aunt with big eyes. "But what am I to do when the others are telling such mean things? Just stop listening? Then the other children will say, I'm a coward, and if I fight, I not only get in trouble with you, but also with Pa and Ma."

"Then talk to Adam about what he did at school. I'm sure he didn't always keep fighting, even though he was at school with Lewis' cousin."

Riccardo nodded. "I'll do that."

His aunt smiled at him and they continued their way home.

XX

"I'M GOING TO RICCARDO!"

Ben almost spilled his coffee on the books, just not because he had been frightened by Sarah's yelling, but also because she'd slammed her bedroom door more loudly than Little Joe ever did. Sarah ran down the stairs. "Win ... Sarah! How often do I tell you, no running and shouting in the house. And I don't even want to talk about the door!"

"Yes, Pa."

She didn't look at him, but kept on running to the front door and then slammed it shut so that Ben winced again. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate again on his books.

"Pa?"

Little Joe came out of the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand and was standing in front of his desk. Ben dropped the pencil annoyed and looked up.

"Yes?"

Before Joe started talking, he bit into the sandwich again.

"Pa, ... I have ..." He stopped as he saw his father's gaze pointing to his mouth. So Joe finished chewing before he continued. "Pa, can I ride into town to Jörn? I'd be back with Adam, since he's at Tom."

"Certainly not, son. Since your brother's never home before midnight, when he's with Tom, you'll be sitting at the table for dinner."

Joe let his shoulders slump. It had been worth a try, but unfortunately his father had guessed what he was up to. "See you later."

Again, Ben shrugged as the door slammed shut. Five minutes later the front door was again opened, and Ben threw the pencil on the table with full force. "Can't I have a decent moment's rest in this house for five minutes?"

Adam came to the office and looked at his father, smiling. "Bad mood?"

Ben crossed his arms and glared at him annoyed. "I wonder how I should work here in peace if I'm constantly disturbed."

Adam sat down on the edge of the table. "Do you need holidays again?"

"You needn't to grin. What do you want?"

Adam raised his eyebrows. His father's mood was really not good. "I thought we could finally talk about who's going to be the new foreman. Now, before autumn, we need someone to take the job."

"Did you find someone?"

"What I told you when we last talked. I think we shouldn't take someone from outside. I'd like to give Tico the job."

Ben leaned forward and looked skeptically at him. "Tico? You're joshing."

"No, I'm not."

"He's way too young for the job."

Adam stood up. He had guessed that the conversation wouldn't be easy, but with the mood his father had today it would be twice as hard. "Yes, at twenty-nine he's still very young, but he's been with us for over ten years and, like me, he has learned everything from George that he needs for the job and even more. The men trust him like they trusted George."

"Yes, our men maybe, but what if we hire new ones or need more for the next trail? Will they listen to such a young foreman who's also Mexican?"

Now Adam crossed his arms and tried to keep calm while his father stood up and paced through the room. "Then they're not the right men for us."

Ben stopped and pointed his finger at his son. "Adam, you can't always make it that simple. You can't expect everyone to share your opinion. You have to think about the ranch, and that the work will be done."

"I do that, too, and that's why I decide who's working here and who is not. And I don't start bothering about what a future cowboy might like or dislike. Whoever wants to work for the Ponderosa must accept our decisions."

"Then you have to accept that I say that Tico won't be our new foreman."

"Pa, it's not about Tico, but about the fact that you just want to get through. Because if you're honest, you know Tico's the best man for this job."

Ben sat down and slammed his fist on the table. "You don't need to get loud and cheeky. It's my ranch, and therefore I have the last word."

Adam supported himself with his hands on the desk. "Stop it, Pa. Whenever arguments are failing, you come to the fact that it's your ranch. You should gradually decide whether we run the Ponderosa together, or not."

They both looked at each other and neither of them made any attempt to turn their eyes away. "I still don't know if you intend to stay here."

Adam hit his hand on the table. "What do you expect from me? Do you want me to set up a contract with you in which I commit myself to you for the rest of my life?"

"You don't have to get sarcastic."

"Then tell me what you want to hear."

Ben got up, went to the fireplace and stood with his back to his son. "I don't know, Adam. But I'm never sure if you're not going to pack up your things tomorrow, because the work here on the ranch might not be enough for you."

Adam rubbed his forehead, trying to calm down. "Pa, I can't tell you how my life will look in ten or twenty years, but do you think I'm going to convince Frederic to stay here when I've got the intention to leave? But I will be honest. If you can't finally accept me as your equal partner, then I cannot work here. How can I make a decision if I can't be sure you're backing me up?"

Ben turned to Adam. "I want to, but ..." Ben sat down in his chair. "I can't explain, but I've always gotten the impression that you haven't found your place in life yet. So how can I give you more responsibility? Hoss has the farm and will surely not continue working at the Ponderosa. And for Joe, I can't imagine with the best will that at some point he's going to have the necessary seriousness to run a ranch."

Adam sat down in the opposite chair. "My place is here, Pa. At the moment I don't see myself anywhere else. Even though I have a company with Frederic, my heart beats for the ranch. I've been to many places, but here's my home."

It isn't so easy to let go, son."

"I don't expect that, either, but I don't want to have constant discussions about the fact that it's your ranch."

"Do you have patience with your father?"

Adam looked at his fingernails. "What about Tico?"

Ben got up and walked past Adam and laid his hand on his shoulder. "What a question. There's no better successor to George."

Smiling, Adam shook his head, and Ben returned to his desk.

XX

Adam came riding to the ranch and saw Sarah sitting on one of the fences. He dismounted and joined her. "So in thoughts, my sunshine?"

Sarah pouted. "Why did you do that?"

Adam climbed onto the fence and sat down with his sister. "Do what?"

"Built so fast."

Adam laughed. So that was it. In the morning Giovanna and Frederic had brought their last belongings to their new house, and they would live there from now on. "Riccardo isn't so far away. You can still see each other every day."

"Yes, but it's still a strange feeling that he doesn't live with you any more."

Adam couldn't deny that he'd certainly be missing them. After the cattle drive, they often sat outside in the evening and sang together or talked about the new house. He had to get used to the silence in the house again. Also, that he wouldn't see Bridget every day any more was a quite unfamiliar feeling for him. The relationship between them had been very relaxed in the last months. However, he still hadn't managed to get closer to her. But once winter was here and there wasn't much to do on the ranch, he would surely have the courage to take the decisive step. "Sunshine, but they live only ten minutes from here."

She looked at him. "Aren't you sad? Now you're alone again."

Adam smiled slightly. "I've got Rusty, and you're coming to visit me every day as well, aren't you?"

"Are you coming to us for dinner more often?"

"I'll surely do. Now that the meals aren't prepared anymore."

He nudged her at her side. "Come on, let's see if Giovanna has left some of the cake, or whether she has taken it with her."

He jumped off the fence and held out his arms. "Everything will remain as it was?"

"Promise, sunshine. We'll continue to see each other and spend the evenings together every now and then."

She dropped into his arms, and he put her on Sport. Together they went to the barn and took care of his horse. Then he threw her over his shoulder and, laughing, they stepped into the house. He stopped at the door. Slowly he took Sarah down and put her on her feet. His gaze was fixed on the stairs. Bridget just came down the stairs with two bags. "Why didn't you say that you still have things here? Shall I help you and drive you over?"

She went down the stairs. Five minutes, ... just five minutes, and she would have been gone and wouldn't have had to say goodbye to him. She hadn't said anything to anybody in the last few months, and now she had missed her secret leaving by only five minutes. She'd known that Giovanna would be pretty mad if she told her only on the day of her departure about it, but she didn't want her nor anyone else talk her out of this decision. And when she had said goodbye to her friend, Giovanna was no longer angry, but only sad. Bridget put the bags down and took a deep breath. "I won't be living with Giovanna."

"Not? Why do you want to live in town? Now that Mr. Conner's back, there's no need."

She tried to convince herself time and again that she was doing the right thing. Everything else was no use. If he hadn't managed to change in the past months, he wouldn't do in the next seven years. "I won't live in Virginia City ..." She took a deep breath again. "... I'm leaving Nevada with the stagecoach in the afternoon."

Horrified, Adam looked at her and he wasn't able to say anything. Only when she wanted to grab her bags he found his voice again, but it showed very clearly how shocked he was by her statement. "Why?"

"There's no reason to stay."

His cheek twitched. "Bridget, ..."

"Adam, I must finally end this chapter."

Again, she only noticed the twitch of his cheek. "And if I don't want you to go?"

"That's not enough, Adam, and you know that."

Sarah pulled at Adam's arm and spoke to him very softly. "Wynono, if Mum doesn't want Pa to go to play chess with Paul at night, then she kisses him. That always works. Then he never goes."

Adam looked back at Bridget. He knew exactly if he let her go now, then he would lose her forever. Since he had no idea what to say or do now, he glanced at his sister, then took a step toward Bridget and gave her a quick kiss. Shaking her head Bridget looked at him briefly and went to grab her bags again. Before Adam could think it over, he pulled her close and kissed her timidly and restrainedly this time. When she didn't push him away, his kiss grew longer and more passionate. And then he no longer resisted. He allowed all the feelings he had suppressed throughout the years. Sarah stood next to Bridget and Adam, and she shrugged and sighed. "Come on, Rusty. If it's like Pa and Mum, this may take longer."

She slapped her leg and the dog followed her out of the house.

Adam held Bridget firmly in his arms as he broke the kiss and exhaled deeply. He only whispered. "Now you should put me in my place. Otherwise, I will lose the last remnant of my mind, and I won't know any longer how to behave."

He stroked her hair and tried to calm his heartbeat and his breathing. Bridget had put her hands on his chest. She also spoke very quietly. "Maybe I won't bother if your mind goes outside, and the wrong wolf comes out a bit."

Again their lips met and their kisses were more passionate than before. His hands wandered down her back, and he pressed her even closer. They surrendered to the wild dance of their tongues. Breathing hard, their lips were only separated a tiny touch from each other. Adam looked into her eyes. Then he gave Bridget another soft kiss, took her hand and went up to the bedroom with her.

Adam tried to remember time and again that this was the first time, Bridget was so close to a man. Nevertheless, it wasn't long before they both ended up in his bed. He gently caressed her body and kissed her neck tenderly. Then he looked into her eyes and lovingly smiling he stroked her hair from her face. "Although it would be hard for me, you can tell me to stop."

She pulled his head close and before she kissed him, she said softly that she surely wouldn't wait another seven years for this moment. Even if he felt so impatient, he tried to restrain himself as long as possible until he realized that she was ready for him to go further. Their bodies cuddled up to each other, and he looked her deeply into the eyes as he moved carefully and slowly. Adam smiled as he looked into her green eyes, where he had always got lost in Boston. Like then he had the feeling that they shone as green as a spring meadow in the early morning. He dived deeper and deeper into these eyes, until he got the impression that he was in this meadow, and then he heard his heartbeat, but not just his own. At first very quietly and then louder and louder there was the beating of another heart. And then finally he understood what Amarok had told him so many years ago. He was in his spring meadow and heard their hearts beat in the same rhythm.

Bridget lay in his arms, her head on his chest, caressing him tenderly. Adam stroked her arm and was ... happy. He had finally managed to overcome his fear, and he didn't regret it for only a split second. It was like Kokos's father had said. The circle of his fear had changed. "Do you now see a reason to stay?"

"Mhhh .." She stroked his chest. "If the next step doesn't take too long."

"No way. If you want, I'll marry you tomorrow. "

She turned a little and rested her forearms on his breast, looking at him. "Adam Cartwright, I had actually imagined something more romantic, if you were to ask me if I want to marry you."

Adam chuckled. "Well, I think it's very romantic. I have the woman I love in my arms, and I look with her at the mountains, which are shining so beautifully in the sunset, and ask her the most important question you can ask a woman."

She slapped him lightly on his chest and cuddled up back in his arm. "You're impossible." Then she grinned. "But there is more to a marriage proposal, and that you can't so easily produce out of thin air."

Adam thought for a moment, then grinned. "That's what you think."

He got up, took something out of his dresser, returned to her under the blanket, and took her in his arm again. "Koko has translated to you what the shaman has told about the meaning of the circle in life?"

She nodded and wondered what he was up to. Then he held out a ring. "We, too, are a part of this circle. With this ring back then everything started in Boston." She tilted her head slightly and looked at him. "This is the ring that my father gave to my mother when he asked her. And if we don't take it too closely, it ends again in Boston." Adam grinned again. "Because if it hadn't started with this ring then, we wouldn't be lying here. And it can't be denied that Boston brought us together."

Bridget had to laugh. "I think you always find the right words to work out everything the way you want it to be."

He pulled a small pout. "That should be really romantic." He held out the ring. "And, you say yes?"

"Of course I say yes, but not tomorrow."

He put the ring on her finger. "Day after tomorrow?"

"First you wait seven years and now things don't go fast enough."

She looked at the ring on her finger and then turned back to him. "Adam, I'd like to have my parents with me, and I'll write them a letter tomorrow. It's a long journey from Boston, but if they leave immediately, they should be here by March."

Astonished, he looked at her. "Your parents don't live in Boston any more, they haven't for several months. Didn't you know? "

"You're kidding?"

"No, Mr. Sundberg told me that. He had asked me if your father had joined the company with us because he had sold everything in Boston and is now in Minnesota."

"Minnesota? No, Frederic and I know nothing about that. The last time we heard was in spring from my parents, and then they were still in Boston."

"That's good for us. Then we don't have to wait that long."

Bridget still shook her head. "Minnesota ..."

Adam turned so that he lay over her again. He softly kissed her neck and stroked her breast gently. "Until they're here, we'll pass time."

His hand wandered deeper. "I think I should send the letter with a pony express rider."

His lips went over her breasts to her belly. "I think it'll be a telegram."

XXXX

When Adam woke up the next morning, he still couldn't believe it, but she really lay in his arm. He held her tighter. "Good Morning, beautiful lady."

Adam smiled as she stroked his arm. "Good Morning."

She looked at her two bags standing next to the door. "Why did you bring my things up? I must take them to Giovanna."

He held her a little tighter. "Because I won't let you go."

She laughed slightly. "Adam, that can't work. I can't stay with you."

"Why not? Not much longer and the first snow will fall. Who else will know? "

"Your family? Giovanna and Frederic? "

"Yes, so what?"

"Adam, ..."

"Noone knows you're here. They all think you left yesterday."

She turned on her back, so she looked into his eyes. "But I don't want to hide here for three months or longer."

"You needn't, but I once made the mistake of letting you go. I don't do that a second time."

"Your father will be furious when he notices."

"Bridget, I believe my father's the only one who hasn't even noticed what I feel for you. So if I don't just kiss you in front of his very eyes, he won't be aware of it in the next months either."

She gently stroked his cheek and looked at him tenderly. "Then I will probably unpack my bags."

"Yes, but this time in this room."

She put her arms around his neck and closed her eyes as he kissed her again as passionately as last night. "Adam, don't you have to get up?"

"Work can wait a little longer."

She was lying on him and gave herself to his demanding kisses when they heard a familiar voice from below. With wide eyes she looked at Adam.

"ADAM ...?"

Grinning, he turned Bridget on her back, stood up and gave her a quick kiss. He put on his pants as she blushed and pulled the blanket over her head.

"ADAM, ... ARE YOU THERE?"

Adam ran down the first steps of the stairs and looked at Hoss, who was about to come upstairs. "Adam, what's going on? We had an appointment."

Adam stretched. "I've overslept."

Flabbergasted Hoss looked at him. "Overslept? You?"

Adam gave him a mischievous smile. "There's a first time for everything."

Hoss still couldn't believe it. "But you're alright?"

"Yes Hoss, I feel just fine."

His brother tilted his head, but Adam just grinned. "Hoss, I'll get dressed and you can get Sport ready ..."Adam was about to go up again, when he stopped. "And Hoss, ... just take your time."

Grinning Adam went back to his room, leaving a rather bewildered Hoss standing on the stairs.


	69. Chapter 69

"Hello, buddy. What brings you to town?"

Tom hit Adam on the back as he joined him. His friend was standing in front of the telegraph office and smiled as he put the letter back in the envelope. "Good news? Don't tell me we're making more profit? I wanted to talk to you about that anyway."

Adam put the telegram into his jacket pocket and crossed his arms. "Do you want us to get into the red?"

Tom tapped his finger against his shoulder. "No, my friend, but I don't want to have any money for which I'm not entitled."

Confused, Adam let his arms sink. "We're partners, so the profit is yours."

"Come on, Adam. I'm not contributing to this partnership. You have done all the work. I sign a contract from time to time, but the rest is in your hands."

"Feel free to take over the business side."

Laughing, Tom shook his head. "You know that I have no idea." 

"Well, then everything remains the same. You sign, and I'll do the rest."

Tom rested his hands on his belt and exhaled heavily. "Buddy. The money I've invested at that time, I've already gotten back long ago. You don't need me anymore."

With a mischievous grin, Adam crossed his arms again. "Of course I need you and your money. You haven't any idea what you signed last time, have you? I always tell you, you should read it carefully."

"And you know that after the third sentence, I don't understand a single word, and most of the time, you're presenting me documents with more than ten pages."

Adam slapped his hand against his forehead. "Tom, I could rob you of your house and home if I wanted to."

Tom put his hand on his gun and grinned. "You could, but only once."

"Yes, that's true, because I'm still faster."

"All right, Buddy, what did I recently sign?" 

"We bought land in Nebraska." 

Tom's eyes grew wide, and he looked at him, aghast. "We did WHAT?"

"Buy land. What we already have isn't enough for what we intend to do."

"And what do 'we' intend to do?"

"On the one hand, we need more timber. On the other hand, there are changes in Nebraska. Parts of the country want to become independent. Now we can get the land at a good price and can sell it with profit later."

"That's exactly what I mean, Adam. You do it all, and I? What do I contribute?"

"Your money."

Adam lowered his eyes for a moment, then looked at his friend very seriously. "Tom, without you I couldn't have bought the land back then, and I won't let you get out of the partnership just because we've been lucky. I'm working with our profits, so I'll continue with your money because I think ahead, although I don't really want to think about it, but ..." He tapped Tom's badge. "... you have picked a job in which you can't know if you can drink your coffee with your family tomorrow morning. If that happens, and I hope it never does, Sybil doesn't have to worry about herself or the kids. She would be cared for her whole life."

His friend looked at him, speechless. "Have we already made so much profit?"

"No, but since you never read what I'm giving you, you apparently haven't read that I've changed a part of our contract." His friend just shook his head. "If something might happen to you, it won't be me to get your share, but Sybil."

Tom opened his mouth, but then closed it again. Then he took a deep breath and looked at his friend flabbergasted. "Why do you always do that? Why do you always think of others first?"

"Am I doing that?"

"Buddy, you know exactly what I mean."

Adam's eyes were serious again. "Because I want people, who are important to me, to do well, and if I have the opportunity to contribute my part, I'll do that."

"I hope you also think of yourself from time to time."

Adam had to grin again. "I do, my friend. Believe me, and while we're talking about doing well, are you coming to the Ponderosa this year for Thanksgiving?"

"Of course. Sybil and Jörn constantly remind me of the fact that I don't let Henry talk me into working that day."

Adam put his arm around his friend's shoulder. "Then there's something else. In January or February, I'll be giving a little celebration, and I wanted to invite you."

Tom looked at him. "A celebration in January? A somewhat unusual time for a party. Don't you think so?"

Adam scratched his forehead. "Come on, let's have a beer."

Tom took a step forward and looked at Adam rather dumbfounded. "Tell me, do you have fever? It's just after ten and you want to have a beer and talk about a party in January?"

Adam put his hands in his jacket pocket and shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I really wanted to have you at my wedding, but if you don't want to?"

Tom tapped a finger to his forehead. "Sure. You really should go and see the Doc. You forget, I'm the deputy and aware of almost everything that goes on in town. It certainly wouldn't have escaped my attention if you had dated the same girl more than twice."

Adam grinned at him cheekily. "As it looks, you can't see everything."

For a while Tom looked at him. "Are you serious?"

Adam nodded. "Buddy, I think it's a good time to have a beer, too."

"That's what I was saying."

On the way to the saloon, Tom looked at his friend again and again, shaking his head.

XXXX

"Uncle Adam, here." 

Adam got off his horse and went to Riccardo and Winona, who were standing by the fence. He had taken both of them to check a part of the fences and two sheds on the slopes of the mountains before the first snow. They had set out early in the morning, ate in the shed and were now on the way back. "The stake is quite rotten and toppled over. We must certainly renew it in spring."

Adam chuckled slightly as he saw Riccardo glancing at him with bright eyes. "We?"

"Well, I'm already seven. I can help you more. "

He pushed Frederic's son's hat deeper into his face and laughed. "You can, my little cowboy."

"Wynono .."

Adam turned to his sister, who was kneeling on the ground, watching something with interest. He went to crouch beside her. "Wynono, are these traces of a wolf?" Sarah had started to draw the traces of different animals into a small notebook a few weeks ago. She had proudly told her father that she wanted to become an even better tracker than Hoss. Ben had accepted this information with his usual enthusiasm, which didn't prevent Sarah from continuing. "No, sunshine. They are from a cougar. In wolf tracks you see the four claws and two top bales ..." He pointed to the track. "In wolf tracks they are closer together."

"But I thought cougars don't come so far down the valley?"

Riccardo had also squatted next to the two. "We're still near the mountains and up there is already snow. I guess it went down so far, hoping to find something to eat here."

Sarah looked at him a little anxiously. "Do you think it's still around here?"

"No. Look at the track. It's already quite dry. You don't have to ... "

Riccardo touched Adam's knee, and looked with great eyes at something behind him. Still in the crouch, Adam turned in the direction. But then he held his breath and stood up slowly. The children also rose and each stood at one side of him. When the five horsemen stopped a few yards in front of them, Sarah went even more close to Adam.

"Kajika, what leads you so far from your village, and in war paint?"

Not only the faces, but also the horses of the five Indians were painted, so that everyone could recognize from afar that they weren't on a peaceful path. Without letting Adam out of his sight, Kajika dismounted his horse and stood in front of him. Now Riccardo was moving even closer to Adam, while Sarah was almost behind him. Too dark looked the Indian with all the paint. His whole appearance differed considerably from what they had known from the village so far. "Stop talking like that, son of the Ponderosa."

Rusty had ventured forward and growled softly. Adam gave her a hand sign that she should lie down. He knew how dangerous the whole situation was for them all. Kajika and he had never been friends since he had never understood why Amarok had so kindly accepted Adam into his tribe. Several times Adam had tried to do business with his tribe in fall, but every time the Indian had refused. And when Kajika was at the Gosiute, Adam could see how much his presence had disturbed him. The eyes of the Indian wandered from the dog to the children.

"If I wanted, I could you kill you all and would be triumphantly welcomed in my village with your scalps in my hand."

"We've never been friends, Kajika, but what caused this storm in your heart, that you're willing to kill for it?"

Kajika took another step toward Adam. He felt Sarah clenching on his pant leg. He put a hand on Riccardo's shoulder, who grew still paler. "Even if Amarok calls you his son, and you were by his side on his great day, you don't belong to us. You can still talk with the Great Spirit as often as you like, and believe you too will be accompanied by a guardian spirit on the path of life ... "

Adam couldn't react as fast as Kajika took his hand and stabbed it with a knife. "... in your blood isn't a single drop of the Gosiute, or any other tribe of my people. You're still a dirty merciless White."

He spat on Adam's wound and let go of his hand. Adam gritted his teeth and resisted to wrap his cloth around the wound. He mustn't show any weakness because of the children and give Kajika a reason to continue to vent his anger on him. Because if he really intended to kill them, then they would be dead by now.

"Yes, the blood of your people doesn't flow in my veins, but it's just as red as yours. Don't we both know that the Great Spirit is the God of all men? Red and White man? I'm not playing the Indian. I believe in what I do and say."

The Indian looked at him disparagingly. "I don't believe a word you say. You're no better than the others, and I'm sure there's a reason you're trying to fawn the Gosiute."

The blood from Adam's hand dripped to the ground. He knew that soon he had to tie something around to stop the bleeding. He needn't look to know that the wound was very deep. His only fear at the moment was that he couldn't bring the children home safely. "There's only one reason. They're our neighbours, and we've always tried to get along well with our neighbours. Even with you, if you remember."

"Oh, no, son of the Ponderosa. You Whites have promised us a lot, more than I can list, but you've kept only one promise. You swore to us you would take our land, and you took it and that's why ..." In his eyes, Adam could only see hatred as he turned to his warriors with proud chest. "... your race shall be cursed, which stole our land, and made women out of our warriors. From their graves our forefathers accuse us of having become slaves and cowards. In the howling of the wind I hear the great lamentation of the dead. Their tears stream from the sighing heavens, so that the White Man may perish! You Whites take possession of our land, you corrupt our wives, you soiled the ashes of our dead. We will take you back where you came from! On a path of blood!"

Adam had no idea what had Kajika so upset that he was apparently willing to risk war. "If you start a war, you have already lost before the first warrior lies dead on the ground, and you will bring more suffering upon your people than there is already."

The Indian and Adam were now so close together that their noses almost touched. "Where are the mighty tribes of my people today? Greed and violence of the White Man have made them disappear like snow in the summer sun. Will I, too, destroy myself without fighting, give up our homes, our land given to us by the Great Spirit, the graves of our dead, and all that is dear and sacred to us? I know all my warriors will call out "Never! Never!". I ask you again, son of the Ponderosa, what is the reason you care about the tribe of the Gosiute? That Amarok is ready to lose his face, leave his daughter to a white man and ask you to get meat for winter so that his tribe doesn't have to go starving like the rest of us?"

Adam noticed that he started to break out in sweat because he had to pull himself together. Not only did his hand hurt, and he was getting dizzy, but also Sarah clung to his leg. "Amarok never complains, and if he was standing in front of you, you'd never have used those words. Just as I had offered you to exchange meat for horses with me many winters ago, I made Amarok the very same offer."

In no time Kajika had the knife in his hand and held it to Adam's throat. Rusty had jumped up and the children screamed. "You call me a liar?"

The Indian looked at the growling dog who stood next to him with bared teeth. "Today is not the day you will die, but it will come, and I will laugh when Amarok is weeping at your grave."

He pulled the knife along Adam's throat. Deep enough that the blood could swell, but not so deep that Adam had to fear for his life. With a laugh, he swung onto his horse and they rode off howling loudly. Immediately Adam turned to the children and knelt down. Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and tears ran down her cheeks. He took both of them in his arms and tried to calm them somehow. Riccardo didn't cry, but he was trembling all over. When Riccardo had calmed down, he took a deep breath and let go of Adam. "Why were they so angry, Uncle Adam?"

The voice of Frederic's son was very quiet, and he still looked very pale. Adam held Sarah with both arms, who still clung to him. The voice of Adam wasn't as strong as usual. Too big his fear had been that something might happen to the children. "He was suffering very much sorrow, and apparently Kajika wants to take revenge for it."

"But why you? You didn't do anything to him."

Adam looked at Sarah, who was still crying. He pressed her closer and gave her a kiss on the head. "Riccardo, like Lewis or his cousin Mitch, Kajika doesn't care who of the Whites will feel his anger. He condemns all Whites, just as Lewis and Mitch hate every Indian. On both sides there are good and evil people."

Adam wondered what he should do now. If he brought Riccardo and Sarah home in this condition, neither Frederic nor his father would ever allow the children to visit the village again. "Get on your horse, Riccardo, and take Winona's horse by the reins. We're going to the village."

The boy nodded and ran to his horse. Adam released Sarah with one hand and tied a cloth around the wound as tight as he could. The shaman would certainly take care of his hand. He stood up with Sarah. It was clear to him that she wouldn't let go of him so fast. His hope was that when the children were back in the village of the Gosiute, they wouldn't be afraid of all the Indians, and that Aponi and the others would find the right words.

With Sarah in his arms, they reached the village in less than two hours. Amarok saw instantly that something must have happened, and called for his wife. With a little more colour on his face, Riccardo got off the horse and ran to Adam and held onto his arm. Adam had only to mention the name of Kajika and Amarok guessed what might have happened. He also noticed that Adam didn't want to talk in front of the children. Aponi held out her hand to Riccardo. "Are you coming with us, Riccardo? In the tipi, we have something to eat and drink for you, and then we can talk."

Riccardo looked at Adam. He knelt down again. "I'll be right with you, Riccardo. Go with Aponi and the others."

Adam pulled Sarah's hands from his neck and looked at her. "Sunshine, do you mind if you go with Aponi? I'll be right there, but I have to talk to Amarok about the incident first."

Sarah shook her head and tried to cling to his neck again. Adam gently pushed her away. "Rusty and Riccardo are going too, and Aponi certainly has the delicious juice you like so much."

She sniffed a few times and looked at him sadly with her big dark eyes. Adam clenched his fist. His rage on Kajika was immense. Sarah didn't say a word but only nodded. Adam gave her a kiss on the forehead and watched her as she went to the tipi with the others. Before he got up, he put his fist against his mouth and tried to calm himself. When he got up, he had to hold onto Amarok's arm for a moment, because he felt a bit dizzy. The chief took Adam's hand and looked at the cloth, which was soaked with blood. "I think we'll talk in the tipi of the medicine man."

After the shaman had taken care of Adam's neck, he took care of his hand, and Adam told of the encounter with Kajika. However, several times he had to briefly hold his breath. He trusted the shaman, but couldn't deny that whatever he got rubbed and dabbed on his hand burned like hell. When the shaman offered him some leaves to chew before he wanted to sew the wound, Adam declined. He knew exactly what effect they had. He again broke out in sweat as the shaman continued his work. "Amarok, what was it that upset Kajika? He was neither friendly to you nor to me in the past, but he was never at war. Besides, I also had the feeling that he wants to harm you personally."

"Wynono, many months ago we talked about the fate of my people. Since that day, not much has changed. On the contrary. The Red Man fights for his people, his family, food supplies and hunting areas and to survive. The White Man fights out of greed, and more for himself and his hunger for money and gold. He thinks of himself first always. Among our people the one is rich, who shares many gifts. In the case of the White Men, it's important to gather up still more and not give away anything. The Red Man loves nature because he is a part of it. The White Man kills nature, even though he is a part of it. Year by year Kajika finds it harder to procure food for his tribe for winter because the White Man takes more than he needs. Now the White Man came into the village of Kajika and told him that when nature unfolds its new splendor, he must leave his land. The rage in Kajika on the White Man makes him blind. He will not go without fighting."

Adam closed his eyes. It was too painful for him to hear that it wasn't possible that both peoples could live peacefully side by side.

"Wynono, you cannot change any White Man, and I cannot keep my brothers from defending themselves. But we can both show that it is possible to share this land and pass this knowledge on to the next generations. If we can do it, we have already achieved a lot. My people will not be completely forgotten."

"Is that the reason for his anger on you? Because I'm your friend?"

"Yes, and his rage is huge, but not because I call you my friend, but my son. In his eyes, I am betraying our people, because I am unwilling to leave our horses to him, so that he can send his warriors to war instead of looking for other solutions."

"Can we stop him?"

Koko's father shook his head sadly. "His tribe has decided to take that path." 

Adam looked at his hand, as the shaman had finished. "Return to me, when the sun has disappeared six times behind your house, then I will look at it again."

"I'll do that."

The shaman wanted to give him some leaves. "Against the pain, Wynono."

With a smile, he pushed the shaman's hand away, and he saw very clearly that he was also slightly smiling.

Amarok and Adam then went out of the tipi. "Amarok, I don't know what to say to Winona and Riccardo, so they understand that not all Indians are like that."

"Not many words are needed, Wynono, but it was good that you brought them here right away. Just as you did at that time, they will surely still have some bad dreams, but soon they will run laughing through the village again with all the other children. I'm sure Aponi and the others will have found these words."

Adam remembered how long he'd needed, until he hadn't woken up bathed in sweat every night. He hoped the two wouldn't need that long. They had hardly entered Aponi's tipi when Sarah was already running toward him and wanted his arms. Riccardo sat by the fire and already laughed again. Amarok's wife had also risen and now put her hand on Sarah's back and stroked her gently. "They're both doing better. We have listened to them and tried to explain the behavior of Kajika to them. With Winona, I think the fear for you is the worst."

His sister had put her arms around his neck again and cuddled tightly to him. She still hadn't talked to him yet. "I'll take the two home now, and I hope for both that they will be allowed to still visit the village in future."

Now Amarok put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Even for their parents, we will find the right words, if need be."

"Wynono, ..." Sarah leaned back a little and looked at her brother. "... .. can I sleep at yours tonight?"

Adam breathed softly. He had no idea how his father would react to the incident. But if he was angry, it would be hard to convince him of Sarah's desire. "I'll talk to Pa about it, sunshine. Riccardo, are you coming?"

The boy stood up and followed the adults out of the tipi. On the way to the horses Riccardo looked for Adam's hand and didn't let go until he got into the saddle.

First he took Frederic's son home. As he had expected, Giovanna was beside herself and cursed him in her mother's tongue, pressing Riccardo tightly to her. Then she looked at Adam with a mixture of despair, anger, and fear. "Giovanna, I'm sorry for what happened, and I can assure you I would have spared the children gladly. But please don't make a mistake in your fear and forbid them to see the Gosiute. Right now it's important that they can continue to visit their friends."

"Yes Ma, please let me go to the village. Kholaya wants to explain to me the meanings of the various face paintings. " 

Giovanna's eyes went from her son to Sarah, who was still on Adam's arm. "Adam, can you promise me that this crazy Indian doesn't come to the village of the Gosiute?"

When Adam didn't answer, she put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes because she knew exactly what that meant. "I'll think about it, Adam, but I cannot promise yet."

"All right, Giovanna. As long as Frederic isn't home, you can always come over to me if you need someone to talk. "

"I'll think about that too, Adam."

Adam nodded and went to the door. "See you tomorrow, Riccardo."

"See you tomorrow, Uncle Adam."

What eased Adam was that the boy was already smiling at him again.

The conversation with his father wasn't quite as loud as with Giovanna. He was more frightened by what it would mean if Kajika was to make his threat come true. And he too was concerned about sending the children back to the village at the present time. Here at home, it was the first time Sarah had released Adam since the village, but only because she wanted on Emillia's arm. She then, too, convinced his sister that she should sleep at the Ponderosa, since she had noticed how done Adam was. Sarah thought for a moment and then went to her brother, who crouched in front of her. "Ma and Pa are here and will take care of you tonight, and if you want, you'll come down to me for breakfast tomorrow."

She put her arms around his neck again. "You don't have to be afraid, Wynono. You're not alone, either."

Adam smiled at her lovingly and gave her a nudge to her nose. "No, I'm not."

Ben rolled his eyes at the idea that Adam would take the dog to his room. His son got up and took his hat.

"I'll bring you Sarah by tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll get a cup of coffee, too."

Adam raised his eyebrows and looked at Emillia briefly startled, but then he remembered that although they didn't want to tell that Bridget lived with him, they also would make it no secret. So if Emillia wanted to come for a coffee tomorrow, then she should do so. At Thanksgiving at the latest, everybody would know it all anyway. "I am pleased Emillia. See you tomorrow."

The next morning, not only Emillia with Sophie and Sarah sat at their table, but also Giovanna with Riccardo. Frederic's wife had only come over to talk to Adam about yesterday, but when she saw her friend, this matter drifted into the background. It wasn't long and Koko stood at the door because she had heard from her mother what had happened and wanted to see how he was doing. So it had taken only a few weeks for their little secret to be discovered. But all three women promised not to say a word about it, if they didn't have to. Surely they would talk about it with Hoss and Frederic, but not with anyone else. Only Emillia convinced herself that she had to wait for the appropriate moment for Ben because she was sure that he'd instantly grab his son and tell him loudly that this was unacceptable.

XXXXXX

It was the morning of Thanksgiving, and Adam came into the kitchen to get a fresh pot of coffee. Bridget had just put away the last plates from breakfast. "Your coffee's ready. You can take it with you."

Adam waited until Bridget had set the plate down, then pulled her towards him. With a grin he gave her a kiss. "Was that for the coffee?"

"Yes, and for still being with me."

She had to laugh. "Do you think I would wait that long and then, after a short time, take flight again?"

"Well, didn't you just say a few days ago, I'm quite different from Boston? Could be that you've liked this Adam better?"

Bridget smirked, pretending to think hard. "Do you mean that Adam, who has been very well-groomed every day and walked around with clean clothes? Whose shirts weren't always filthy and torn? Who has shaved daily and has never brought in all the dust and sand from the streets? Who knew to express himself in an elegant way? Do you mean that one?"

He just pouted and scratched with a finger behind his ear. "I think I need something that I can compete with this guy."

Gently he embraced her face with both hands and gave her a long tender kiss. Then he looked deep into her eyes. "I think you don't need to be afraid. I'm very pleased with the Adam I have here."

"If you still have doubts, let me know. I could still think of one or two new convincing arguments."

"Oh, and I thought you'd already showed me all of them in the last few weeks."

Grinning, he took the pot. "Some things have to be repeated so they can be memorized properly."

She shook her head and blushed slightly. "And what are you going to do till we have to be at the Ponderosa?"

She handed him another cup. "I have fired the stove and will soon take a nice warm bath. Already the fact that you have installed this, makes you more sympathetic to me than the other Adam. Because he doesn't have such a beautiful thing in his house."

"Oh well, I was lucky then."

He put the pot and the cup back on the table and went again very close to her. "Don't you think you need someone to soap your back?"

With several small kisses his lips wandered along her neck. She gently pushed him away. "I'll do it all by myself today." Her face grew serious and she took his hand. "You shouldn't dip into the water. Not until the shaman has removed the threads."

She also looked at his throat, and she shuddered at the thought of what would have been if the Indian had set the knife deeper. Adam could see her fear and took her in his arms. "I'll be careful, promise."

She laughed briefly. "You can't promise that." She took a deep breath and took a step back. "I decided to live here in the West and to live with you, and I know what I'm going to have to accept. Only sometimes I can't prevent thinking what would be if you don't come home again."

Adam said nothing but only took her in his arms again. He held her tightly, looking out of the window to the mountains. Then she slapped him lightly on the chest. "Now take your coffee and go to the office. You still wanted to work on your station today."

They looked at each other with love. Then he gave her a kiss, took the coffee and went back to the office. Adam hadn't been standing at the easel for long when he heard the front door burst open. Surprised, he looked at Frederic, who was now facing him with a grim glance. "Tell me it's not true!"

Adam was sure his friend meant the incident with Kajika. "Frederic, I'm sorry, but I have the impression Riccardo has the whole ..."

For the first time, Adam experienced that his friend could become very loud. "I'm not talking about Riccardo!"

Then it dawned on him what Frederic could mean. He was a little surprised at his furious reaction. "I thought you were my friend, and then you lie to me?"

"Frederic, I haven't lied to you."

"Does she live here or does she not?" Adam held his breath and nodded. "And doesn't she share your bed, does she?"

Adam just nodded. Then he realized that it had been a mistake to hold his breath. The two blows that his friend gave him didn't make him only fall against the easel, but also robbed him of his last breath. Adam lay on the floor and tried to breathe again. The punch in the belly would certainly have been enough to send him to his knees, but the second in his face left Adam no chance to stay on his feet. Frederic made no move to help him up. "Twice I asked you if you only take advantage of the situation, twice you assured me that you had no intentions of that kind. If that isn't a lie, so what is it then?"

"Frederic?"

Bridget came into the office and looked horrified at her brother and then at Adam, who was trying to get back on his feet. With a few steps Bridget was with him and helped him get up. Adam had to shake his head several times so he could see clearly again. Then he walked a little unsteadily to his desk and sat down in the chair. "Frederic, what's wrong? How dare you to storm into the house and act like this?"

"What have I got on my mind, sis? I should be asking you that! You've lied to us with the story of going to Louisiana!"

"Neither I nor Adam lied to you, and if you had asked Giovanna, you would have heard the whole story, but as I know you, you stormed out of the house after the first sentence."

"Of course. My dear friend here told me about decency and morality for years, and then does something like this."

Adam would have liked to join the conversation, but he still had to fight to breathe again. "Your dear friend would have married me the same day when I decided to stay with him, but I didn't want that."

"What?"

"I'd like to have Maman and Papa at the wedding, and that's the only reason we're still waiting."

"And why didn't you stay with us? You cannot live with him. That won't do."

Bridget's eyes went small and narrow. She took a step closer to her brother. "Do you of all people want to tell me what I can do before a wedding and what not? If Adam hadn't been there, you'd never have gone back to the beach."

Frederic looked at his friend who slowly got colour back in his face. He stood at the desk and grinned at him. "Did it hurt?"

"Tell me ..." Adam took another deep breath. "... never again, you cannot hit."

"It should hurt. Yes, perhaps you haven't lied to me that nothing has been going on between you all these years, but you lied when you assured me that you had never felt more than friendship for her."

"But for that, one blow would have been enough."

Frederic rubbed his wrist. "Thanks to you, I won't be able to hold a single pen for a long time during the next few weeks."

Adam held out his hand. "Friends?"

Frederic shook his head, and Adam's eyes grew wide. Finally Frederic took his hand. "Brother-in-law, and woe, you don't treat her nice. She's my sister, never forget that."

"Never."

"Well, then I'm going to get us something to drink."

Bridget shook her head. "Men."

Then she left the office, leaving the two alone.

XXXXX

Riccardo and Sarah placed the plates on the table as Ben came by and stroked her hair. "You're both making that real fine. Only the silverware you've placed wrongly. Wait a minute, I'll show you that."

Ben was glad that Adam had made the suggestion to extend the dining room then. Today, fifteen people would be sitting at the table if he didn't count Travis yet. With a grin he thought of the time when there had just the three of them sitting at the table. Adam, Hoss and he. He was about to place the last cutlery as he paused and looked at the table. Then he counted again and smiled at the two children. "That's nice of you that you've thought of Travis, but he can't sit properly at the table with us yet."

Sarah looked at him. "We didn't set the table for Travis."

"Well, then you've been miscounting." 

Ben went to clear the plate and cutlery. "We didn't count wrongly. Emillia said we should put plates on the table for sixteen people, and that's what we did."

"Riccardo, but we're only fifteen. You must have misheard."

The children shook their heads. Ben wondered if it could be that he had miscounted. Then he went with the children to every single place. "You see. There is a plate too many on the table." 

Again the children shook their heads. "It's for Bridget."

"Bridget?"

Ben looked at the two in surprise. "She's in Louisiana and not here."

"But Aunt Bridget is here, and she's coming tonight."

Ben set the plate right back and was still puzzled. Louisiana was too far away to come for a visit. "I didn't know she was back with you, Riccardo."

"Well, she isn't ..." Sarah handed her father the napkins. "... she lives with Adam."

Ben was just able to prevent his hands jostling the glasses. He stood straight and looked at the two children. Then he was sure he had just misunderstood her. "You mean, she lived there. Is she visiting you, Riccardo? "

"Every now and then she comes to us for a coffee."

Ben put his hands akimbo. "Every now and then? That won't work. Louisiana is too far away."

"Pa, she didn't go to Louisiana."

"No?"

Riccardo and Sarah shook their heads again, and Ben closed his eyes. He told himself that it wouldn't be the way he was beginning to think. There would be a reasonable explanation. "Then I'm looking forward to seeing Bridget when she comes with your parents."

"Pa, can we go back and play now?"

"Since you two have helped so well, you may."

Sarah and Riccardo ran into the living room. "Bridget and Adam come together with your parents?"

"Don't know. Perhaps they're going to stop at Uncle Adam and Aunt Bridget, and then they all come together."

Ben threw the napkins on the table and turned to the kitchen.

"EMILLIA!"

XXX

They were all sitting at the table, and already as Ben welcomed him, Adam had noticed at his father's behavior that he knew that Bridget was staying with him. Considering his gaze, it was relatively new information for him. He had welcomed them both very kindly, but Adam had already known his father for too long to not notice how it seethed in him. Actually, Adam had hoped that the joy in him would prevail that he would finally marry someone. But as it looked, he wasn't amused at all that his son didn't do things the traditional way. Adam took his glass and cleared his throat. "As we're all together here today, Bridget and I thought we'd officially announce that we'll be getting married early next year."

"Oh, already at the beginning of the year ..." Adam looked at his father, who had raised his glass to cheer him like the others, but there was no joyful sparkle in his eyes. "... and I expected you to wait until spring."

While father and son looked at each other appraisingly, the other men looked at each other briefly, then lowered their heads so as not to laugh. They had talked before dinner about how long it might take until Ben wouldn't be able to restrain himself any longer. Smiling, Adam broke the eye contact. Today he wouldn't get involved with one of their usual "power games". "We're still waiting for Bridget's parents. As soon as we know when they will arrive, we will tell you the date. "

Ben nodded and put down his glass. "Let's enjoy the meal now."

The mood was good throughout the meal. But Adam realized exactly how he was getting some of Ben's looks from time to time. Bridget leaned closer to him. "You should have talked to him before. Although it hasn't ruined the evening, your father can barely control himself."

Adam didn't look at her and continued to eat calmly. "No, I wanted to tell him as late as possible. Otherwise he would be with us every day to tell me something about decency and morality. Now I don't have to listen to it for quite so long."

"Adam, I think you're just as stubborn and pigheaded as your father."

Now he looked at her. "Certainly not, …. I'm worse."

Grinning, he took his glass and looked at her cheekily.

After dinner, Ben took Sophie to bed, and while the women were in the kitchen, Adam and the others stayed in the living room. When Adam had given a glass of cognac to each of them, he stood by the fireplace and let his eyes wander through the round. "You can all stop laughing now."

With a broad grin Hoss sat on the settee. "No, big brother, you've got to fight your way through now. Since I've known you, you've been telling everyone who wanted to listen to it or not, something about decency and morality and how to behave properly towards girls and women. And now that's what you get, because you have hardly kept up to your own rules."

"Now you're exaggerating, Hoss."

His brother laughed. "Oh, do I? Not even our little brother can kiss a girl without you giving him a lecture."

"And I only think of what you told me in Boston, and assured me, in your slightly arrogant way, that you would never behave inappropriately with a girl."

Adam looked down at Tom, who was sitting on the stones by the fireplace. "And, do you too want to contribute your comment, so that we can finally change the subject?"

Tom first took another sip. "I think I'm not going to tell you what names you've called me, and that just because I had been thinking about whether I want to marry Sybil or not. Because then we would talk about no other topic this evening. And Adam, honestly, if a guy would do that to my daughter, he might have to run very fast, so I don't catch him."

"And I'd drag Riccardo home on his ears and give him a piece of my mind."

"Fine friends I have here, and of you, Hoss, I wouldn't even want to talk. One worse than the other, but concerning your children you seem to forget all that you've been up to yourself."

"You know, dear older brother, none of us behaved before the wedding the way Pa had always imagined. But no one would have dared to live with his future bride for months under one roof before tying the knot. You can't blame us for enjoying the fact that you will get your telling-off today."

Adam looked back in the round, rolling his eyes when he saw them all laughing. Then they fell silent when Ben came down the stairs, but it was clearly to be seen that they almost couldn't help laughing.

"Adam, ..." Ben didn't care if his son followed him. He expected it. "... I'd like to show you a problem in the barn."

Ben had already left the house as Adam put his glass on the table to follow him. When he went to pass Hoss, he held him by the arm. "Here, big brother, if you're going to have a problem you may need this."

He handed his brother a thick cushion. Adam held it in his hand and looked at Hoss and then at the others. Then he pressed the cushion in Hoss' face and went to the barn. Even through the closed door, he could hear the loud laughter of Hoss and the others.

With a deep breath, he closed the barn door. He had known this conversation with his father would come, when he told Bridget to stay with him, and Ben didn't hesitate for long. "Can you please explain to me what has gotten into you? Did you even think for a minute of what it means for Bridget's reputation? Not to mention our reputation! Now people will feel confirmed and say there was only one reason why you have built such a big house." Although not much light was in the barn, Adam could see Ben's face red with anger. "And I thought I had educated you decently."

"Who should noticed in winter? And when she's in town, everyone will assume that she lives with Giovanna. "

"Adam, just stop trying to work out everything, so it doesn't sound so bad."

Adam didn't want to argue. Not on this issue. So he put his hands in his pockets and took a deep breath. "Pa, it's only a few weeks."

Ben stood his hands akimbo in front of him. "How could you come up with such an idea? Weren't you able to still wait those "few" weeks?"

"Nope."

Ben looked at him dumbfounded. Then he turned and breathed deeply. "And what do you intend to do if your impatience isn't without consequences, and Bridget's parents aren't here by then? You can't know how they will get on in this kind of weather. What if they can only be here but in spring? Don't you care then as well what people might say?"

"If that should happen, we will of course get married without her parents. If it calms you, Bridget and I are already married."

Ben was now close to him and his gaze was still very angry. "I never thought your jokes to be very funny, Adam."

"This isn't a joke. I know it won't be recognized anywhere, but we got married in the village."

Derogatorily Ben waved his hand. "Even this, you should stop. You live here and not in the village. This Indian wedding is just as playful as the matter with the guardian spirit."

Adam gritted his teeth and in his pocket he clenched his healthy hand to a fist. "And I really thought you understood how important Amarok and his people are to me."

"Of course I do, and I have nothing against the Gosiute, otherwise Koko wouldn't be going in and out at my house for years, but in my eyes you exaggerate it. Look at your brother. He's married to Koko, but doesn't join this whole nonsense."

"Nonsense?"

"Yes, that's the way I see it, because you can't live in both worlds. You can't always say, on the one hand, you want to protect nature because it's important to you, just like the other stuff. And on the other hand you go and buy land to work with. If you weren't in the village all the time, this incident with Kajika wouldn't have happened."

Adam took his hands out of his pockets. "That's the point. I see. You're mad at me for what happened to the kids."

"Yes, I think that wouldn't have happened if you weren't so close to Amarok."

He spoke now very seriously and quietly with his father. "If Amarok wouldn't see me as his son, we would all have been killed instantly. Kajika would currently kill every White Man who crosses his path. But because he knows the relationship between Amarok and me, he let us live, since he can't afford to be on warpath with the Gosiute at the moment. Well Pa, so my love for the Indians has just saved Riccardo and Sarah's life."

Ben looked at him briefly, then turned away and paced through the barn. "Why can't you just be like your siblings? Why do you always have to take another path? Can't you just do what the others do? I feel like you are always looking for a reason to be different and to shock and irritate your environment."

Ben winced as Adam yelled at him. "Why can't you finally accept that I am the way I am? It's my life and when others think that I'm awkward, then that's their problem. I won't change so that everyone can tell you what a nice and decent son you got."

Adam went to the barn door.

"Adam, ..."

He turned around again. "What is it? Do you want to apologize again? Are you telling me that you didn't mean it, and in a few months we're right back here and discuss exactly the same matters? No Pa, it's not that easy any more. Yes, I know, it's not appropriate that I'm already living with Bridget under one roof. But since I know that I'm going to marry her, I take your looks because I can understand them. But I cannot accept anything else any longer."

Adam turned back to the door, opened it, and left the barn.


	70. Chapter 70

Ben stood at the window and looked up at the mountains. It was quiet in the house. The guests had been gone a long while, but Ben didn't feel like going to bed. He had just stood there for another ten minutes and simply looked at the barn door after Adam had left. He had - as so often - asked himself why the conversation got so out of hand. Afterwards he had returned to the house and had wondered why Adam wasn't there yet. But before he had to answer unpleasant questions, his son also entered the house. They looked at each other briefly and they didn't let what had happened a few minutes before show.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Ben looked at Emillia, who was standing behind him with a cup of tea. He took a few deep breaths. "I think I've gone too far this time."

Emillia put the cup on the table and grabbed his arm. "Ben, I don't understand you. He will marry her."

Her husband pulled away his arm and looked at her testily. "Why didn't you tell me? I get the feeling I was the only one who didn't know that Bridget lived with him."

"Because I knew exactly what you would do. Of course, overreact! Adam and I were hoping, if you got the news only today, the joy that he is to marry Bridget will prevail for you."

With a few steps, Ben was at the fireplace. There he slightly struck his fist against the warm stone. "Emillia, how can I be happy if I know that Adam doesn't love Bridget at all?"

With horror in her eyes, Emilia followed her husband into the living room. "What makes you say that? Of course he loves her."

Exhausted, Ben dropped into the chair. "No. I know it. He once told me that he loved a woman for years and didn't dare to marry her. I'm assuming it's too late, and Bridget's just a substitute."

Emillia sat down beside him on the armrest. "Oh Ben, don't you really see what's going on around you? Bridget is the woman at issue. Since Adam's been back from Boston, his heart belonged to her. I wonder why it is that you don't know what's going on with your own son." Somewhat dumbfounded Ben raised an eyebrow. "That's why he didn't want her to go to Giovanna's house. He told me he once made the mistake of letting her go, and he wouldn't do that a second time. Even if it were only for a few months."

Ben looked at her angrily. "And in the last few weeks I've been wondering why the light was put out so early in the evening. Emillia, in all due respect, I still cannot approve of her living with him."

She leaned a little into him. "My dear Ben, may I remind you that I didn't move out again when my employment was over?"

Cautiously Ben squinted at her from the side. "That was something completely different. You helped me with Hoss and Little Joe."

"But you were well again, and before, you even coped with the two without help." She slightly stroked his arm. "And even we weren't yet married when the light has been cut off earlier every now and then, which actually ..." Now she smiled slightly. "... could happen again from time to time."

With big eyes and a little grumbling, Ben stood up. "Bridget wasn't really the reason why it escalated between me and Adam again. I am now assuming that the wedding won't take place here in Nevada anymore."

Now Emillia dropped into the chair. "What was it then?"

Ben crossed his arms and looked at the floor. "I told him that he should finally stop all the nonsense regarding the Indians."

Emillia looked at her husband with a closed mouth and wide eyes. "I hope you didn't say it that way."

"Of course, I said so, and I mean it. Not only does he wear that necklace, he also constantly goes to the mountain and so the work lasts for a week, because after the four days he always needs two to recover. That he has married in the village, I won't talk about at all." It could be seen how much the subject upset him. "You cannot tell me that you can accept it, that he's also bringing all this nonsense close to Sarah. Adam should finally grow up and live in this world."

Shocked and shaking her head, Emillia rose from the chair. "Ben, this can't really be your opinion? Didn't you finally understand after all these many years that the Indian culture is no game for your son? As far as I know, he was nine years old when he met Koko and the Indians. Do you think he'd spend almost twenty years with it, if it was only, how did you say so beautifully, nonsense to him? Did you ever think that it helped him to get along with a lot of things? Actually do you even know Adam? Have you been seriously concerned with his feelings only once? Why do you expect more of him than of your other children? Why does he have to be the perfect son in your eyes? I met him late, but I think he was a little lonely boy who didn't know where he belonged. Who knows what would have happened if Amarok hadn't brought his culture closer to him?" Emillia had to stop briefly to not get louder. "Yes, Adam is very much like you. He is as stubborn and obstinate as you are, and also wants to control everything, but unlike you, he's also very sensitive. He's worried about a lot of things. The culture of the Indians and Amarok helped him to deal with these different traits. And instead of being glad that your boy became a decent young man, you showed him once more that you're not satisfied with his life. I wonder why that is? What is it about Adam, that you're never satisfied with him and his actions?"

Emillia stood in front of him, looking angry and aghast. Ben didn't yell, but he managed that while he spoke softly, his voice sounded loud. "Because he's my son and not Amarok's."

"You're not jealous of Koko's father?"

Ben turned around, went to the stairs and held onto the railing. "How would you feel if Aponi said Sarah's her daughter?"

"Why should she do that?"

Ben turned to her again. "Since then, my son goes to Amarok with everything he's concerned of, and today I had to learn in the barn that he looks at Adam as his son. Do you know how this ..." He pointed to his heart. "... hurts?"

Emillia stood with her hands akimbo in front of him. "And did you ever wonder why that is?"

"Don't you start to tell me I've done everything wrong."

"I'm not going to say that, but there must be a reason he'd rather talk to Amarok, and the two of them have a close relationship till this very day. And I think I can answer the question for you. Even then, you won't have seen how he feels and what's occupying him. But that's not the main problem, why you expect different things of him than of your other children and you won't accept him the way he is."

Ben's back stiffened and he glanced at his wife. Then he went back to the window and looked into the darkness. "I have a different relationship to Adam than to his siblings. Due to the fact that we were on our own, I spent much more time with him in the first years than with the four others ... " He ran his hand over his face and looked back at Emillia. "I ... I was always afraid of loosing him as I lost Elisabeth. I almost never let him out of my sight. I took him everywhere, and very early I noticed how sensitive he was. When I had him in my arms or he was sitting on my lap, he always looked at me with his big eyes. Partly, it was a little eerie how he looked deeply into my eyes." Ben looked a little down. It could plain be seen that he had the pictures in mind. "Even Sarah did that every now and then, but not as intense as Adam. And even though he was so small, I had the feeling he had felt I was missing Liz. Then he cautiously stroked my face with his little fingers as if to comfort me. Over time, I was worried that he would become too sensitive, too soft for the West, so I started to leave him alone more. I told him that he shouldn't cry at every opportunity ... I wanted to prepare him for what was ahead of us and not let him get so close to me any longer. He should become strong." Emillia couldn't hide how filled with consternation she was. "Are you telling me that you pushed Adam away from you, after you had him so very close to you for his first years?"

Gesticulating with his hands, he walked back to the fireplace. "I wanted him to be a real boy. I knew how rough the land was here. Adam shouldn't have it so hard. But I have loved him always."

Emillia's voice was very quiet. "And you wonder that he was closer to Amarok? If Adam was only a little like Sarah, I can clearly imagine what might have happened in his head." She just stood in front of him for a while, shaking her head again and again. "But you have achieved what you wanted. He's coping very well in this land and became very strong, especially towards you. Why aren't you satisfied with it? Why can't Adam still please you?"

He looked into the fire and didn't look as self-confident as usual. "I know very well that I've done a lot of things wrong, even though I meant it well. But what I also see is that he's very similar to me in certain respects, and I ... " He didn't speak any further, but only looked at Emillia until he had pulled himself together. "... I went away from home at fifteen then and never went back again. What if he leaves and won't come back? If I still lose him ..." With his hands akimbo, looking at the ceiling, he took a deep breath. "I know exactly how silly this whole thing sounds, and with none of the other children do I have that fear, and at the same time it's so hard to show him my love."

It was quiet in the room. Only the breathing sounds of Emillia and Ben were to be heard. "Then start now to show him your love. Start to accept that the culture of the Indians is important to him. It helped him find his place in life. Start to accept him as he is. Because if you don't, you really will loose him. If it's not already too late. You didn't just insult him today, but the Indians as well."

Ben's eyes looked very tired. "I don't know how to do it. I don't even know if he's ready to listen to me one more time. He told me plainly that he wouldn't accept any more excuses from me."

She took his hand and stroked his cheek. "If it comes from your heart, he will realize it and believe you, but you have to want it."

"Of course, I want it, but ... when I'm angry, I often don't think about what I say. Then I just jump off and say things that I don't really mean, and unfortunately that happens very often with Adam."

"Go and see him tomorrow morning. Talk to him openly. Ask him how to discuss your problems in future without ending that way. But I think you should both be aware that it might happen to be loud again. You should just learn not to insult and hurt each other. " 

He nodded slowly. "Let's go upstairs now. It was a long day.

XXXXX

Adam stood at the window, looking at the mountains that were shining in the moonlight. What should he do now? How could he now go on living here when his father wasn't able to accept him the way he was. How could he still not understand after all these years how important the Indians were to him? Why did he blame him again for things that weren't his fault? He closed his eyes. Wasn't his father able to accept him because he blamed him for his mother's death? If that was so, he couldn't stay here. Then there would be no future for him at the Ponderosa. Adam felt two hands resting on his chest. With eyes still closed, he put his hands on Bridget's, absorbing the warmth of her skin. Then he opened his eyes. She stood behind him and had her arms wrapped around him.

"Was it that bad?"

He pressed her hands closer to his chest. "I don't know if we can stay." She wanted to pull her hands away, but he held her tightly. "He just doesn't manage to accept my way of life and thinking."

Not by his voice, nor by his face, she could tell how much the matter had upset him. Only by the quick beating of his heart she could feel his unrest. "Adam, I don't want you to feel like I'm stabbing you in the back, but sometimes it's not easy to understand much of what you're doing."

His muscles tensed and his hands pulled her in front of him. "You've got a problem with that?"

She looked into his eyes, which looked at her insecurely. "No, because I want to understand you. Koko and I talked a lot. But I don't know if your father ever made this effort, or whether you were willing to explain to him why you are as you are. Why the tribe of the Gosiute and their way of living mean so much to you."

He was still holding her hands. Then he put his arms around her and pulled her closer. "I wonder if he ever listened to me."

"Sometimes I feel like you don't want it at all, but enjoy to put up with him."

His chest lifted and lowered. "But I can't let him treat me like a little boy."

"You needn't. But I got the impression that you enjoyed very much that your father was the last one to know of the both of us."

He held her closer and rested his cheek against her head. He absorbed the warmth, the fragrance of her body, and felt the wrong wolf lie down again. "For me, it's partly the only way that he perceives me and what I think."

"But that isn't the reason why the Indians are so important to you? Because you know you can provoke him?"

"No. They are my family, and I believe in what Amarok has taught me. I believe that my guardian spirit is my strength to walk the path of my life. Yes, and I know very well that I'm provoking one or the other, because I also believe in the power of the Great Spirit. But I also know that with my attitude I'm able to live in both worlds very well."

"And, can you really imagine leaving Nevada?"

His gaze fell upon the mountains again. "No, ... here is my home. Here is my family. I don't want to live elsewhere, but I cannot go on like this."

"Then stop bracing yourself against him. You two are very dominant, and only if you both become reconciled, you can live together and work together. Start explaining why ..." She took the chain in her hand. "... your faith is different from what he believes in. I don't know what happened between you two, but if you don't stop fighting each other, you won't be happy here. WE shall not be happy here." She put her hand on his face and stroked his cheek softly and looked at him with love. "I know that it's still very early, but I'm assuming that we will no longer live here with Rusty alone next summer. That's why I wish that you both could establish a normal relationship with each other."

A small smile appeared on his face. "You mean ...?"

She put her finger on his lips. "Have a little patience, but I think so."

Not only his face smiled, but also his eyes. With this beam he came closer and kissed her so gently and sensitively, as he had never kissed another woman. Their lips still touched slightly. "Tomorrow I will try to talk with him."

She had put her arms around his neck and closed her eyes as their lips melted.

XXXX

Just after breakfast, there was a knock on the door and Bridget opened. "Good morning, Bridget. May I come in?"

"Of course, Ben."

Ben had his hat in his hand and looked around. "Is Adam at home?"

"Yes. He's in the dining room still drinking his coffee."

His father put his hat on the sideboard. "Bridget, I want to apologize to you for yesterday. I gave you the feeling that I wasn't pleased by the news." He spread his arms. "May I?"

With a smile, she let him take her in his arms. "I'm glad you're my daughter-in-law. I can't imagine a better woman for my son."

Ben looked past Bridget as he heard a noise. On the wall to the dining room leaned Adam and looked at him mildly. He'd understood exactly what Ben had said to Bridget. "Do you have time for a coffee, Pa?"

Ben let go of Bridget and nodded. Then he followed Adam into the dining room.

XXXX

Adam put up the collar of his jacket. The wind was very unpleasant today, and if he hadn't had to go to town today, he would have spared it, but he wanted to see if a telegram from Bridget's parents had finally arrived. But as it had been weeks before, his way had been in vain. They had only received the news that they were on the way, nothing more. Once again Adam was annoyed with his future father-in-law. He knew how important it was to Bridget that her parents would be attending the wedding. If they knew at least about when they'd arrive in Virginia City, they could plan better. Because they couldn't wait any longer. As Bridget had guessed at Thanksgiving, she was pregnant, and as it looked, it had happened quite early, so they had to get married in January to avoid unnecessary talk.

Adam rode the last part of the way to his house only, as Sarah came along his way. He stopped and leaned against the saddle horn. "Hello my sunshine. Did you want to see me?"

She nodded. "Has Riccardo got no time today?"

"He's with Koko and Hoss. They wanted to go to the village later."

Adam looked at his sister. His father had told him that she hadn't gone to the village since the incident with Kajika, and when she spoke of Adam, didn't call him Wynono any longer. He reached out for her hand. "Well, then come with me. I'll fix you a glass of warm milk, and with some luck there'll still be some Christmas cookies."

He pulled her on the horse and together they rode the last piece to his home. There he put her on the kitchen counter and gave her a plate of biscuits. As the milk cooled, he stood in front of her and looked at her kindly. "How does it look like, sunshine, do we want to spend the turn of the year in the village? Just the two of us? I know how much you like to spend the night in a tipi."

With her head bowed, Sarah bit into a biscuit and peered up at her brother. She shook her head. Adam put his hands next to her and lowered his head so far that he could look into her eyes. "Why not, Winona?"

She didn't speak very loudly. "Because of Kajika."

They kept eye contact. "Is that the reason you don't go to the village and call me Adam only because you're afraid of the Indians?"

She shook her head again. "I'm not afraid of Indians, ... it's just Kajika."

"But with Amarok in the village, he cannot do anything to you. He'd never dare."

"I'm not afraid of that."

He raised her chin. "What are you afraid of?"

She breathed heavily and looked at him sadly. "He said he wants to kill you ..."

Adam had to breathe deeply and stood up straight. "If I don't go to the village any more and just say Adam to you, you will surely forget the Indians, and Kajika won't hurt you any more."

Her brother crossed his arms, ran one hand over his eyes, and wondered how to talk about death with his sister. "Winona, I will never forget the Indians. They are part of our family, or do you want to forget Hoss and Koko?"

Her head snapped up, her eyes still bigger than usual. "No, of course not, but ..." She lowered her head again, her voice low and pitiful. "... I don't want you to die."

Briefly he had to close his eyes. About the fear of the Indians he could talk to her right away, but about death, especially from a loved one he was just the wrong person. How could he find the right words now, if he still hadn't properly dealt with this subject himself? So he took another deep breath and looked at her again. "Winona, I don't want to die yet, but I cannot escape my fate, ... noone can do that." Her big eyes looked at him intently. "Death's a part of life and so, even ..." He put his hand on her heart. "... if it hurts in here, and you think it will never stop again, try to remember that the loved one isn't really gone. If you allow it, they will continue to be in your heart, and like the Indians, I also believe that you will find yourself everywhere in nature. Therefore don't stand at a grave and cry. The person you lost is one of the thousand surging waves of the lake, the diamond glitter of the snow. When you wake up in the stillness of the morning, he's hidden for you. He's a bird flying, soft as a draft, the gentle light of the stars at night. Don't stand at the grave and cry, he's not there, no, he's not asleep, he is here. Everywhere."

She looked at the plate with the biscuits, and he heard her breathing deeply. "And when you are dead by tomorrow? I don't want that."

"Sunshine, it's always hard to lose someone, but death will catch us all. Just as the day must give way to the night. Everything passes, the hours, the clouds in the sky, the people's lives, gone from birth to death. Don't hang your heart on the course of things - that's a bad way of looking at the world. Make every second an enriching experience, without worrying about time. The present is the only thing that has no end. Live the moment. It helped me to take my fears."

"You're also afraid of death?"

"Not anymore. Because, I've understood that it doesn't mean the end. "

"I'll be sad, though, if Kajika kills you."

His eyes went towards the mountains, which were covered by snow. In four months, they wouldn't have to worry about Kajika doing something to anyone. Although the Indian only had hate, Adam was pained by the thought that he was ready with his tribe to accept death instead of looking for another solution. "I promise you that I'll take care, and I think Kajika has already forgotten what he said. His thoughts are elsewhere at the moment and not with me."

They both looked at each other again and Sarah spread her arms. Adam took the plate from her lap, lifted her up and held her close. "Can Riccardo stay with us in the tipi? He has never slept in the village and participated in a festival."

He pressed her a bit tighter. "We'll talk with Frederic and Giovanna. But now drink your milk. I still promised Sophie I would play with her in the afternoon."

Sarah sat back on the counter having the cup of milk in her hand. "She just wants to play with her stupid doll again."

Her brother ran his fingers through her hair. "I don't think you need to be jealous. Sophie would have more reason to do so, because I spend more time with you, my sunshine."

"Nevertheless, it's a stupid doll, Wynono."

She drank another sip and smiled at him.

XXXX

With a bit too much momentum Adam slammed the door of the Telegraph Office. The whole day had started so badly. It had snowed in the night, and he had to clear away a lot of snow to get into the barn, not only at his, but also at his father's, because Joe had spent the night at Jörn. Moreover, Bridget was angry with him because he had let Rusty in the house without cleaning her. So he was pretty annoyed, when he rode into town in order to pick up his suit for the wedding, which should now take place in three days. But then Mr. Grünberg only told him that the suit wouldn't unfortunately be ready until tomorrow. So he had to ride back to town again tomorrow. To make the day perfect, there was still no news from Bridget's parents. Adam put his hands in his pocket and looked around. If he was already here, he could even grab a beer in the saloon. The day couldn't get worse.

"Come on, take it and show us that you're a real man and no wimp like your brother."

Adam still had the saloon door in his hand when his breath stopped. At the bar stood Little Joe and Mitch. Beside his little brother, Buck was standing with a filthy grin holding out his gun belt. Just as Joe went to grab it, Adam let go of the door and took a step forward. "If you only touch the belt, I myself will break every single finger of yours, Little Joe."

Immediately Joe pulled back his hand and looked at Adam with horror. Slowly Mitch turned around and leaned with his arms on the counter. Now he stood between the two brothers and laughed. "The day's getting better and better. I didn't believe I would see you before your big day, Cartwright."

"Joe, get out of here."

Joe wanted to obey to his brother, as Mitch turned up straight and turned his back on him. "Tell me, Cartwright, do you really get married, or do you withdraw as with the half-breed? Or even better ..." Laughing, he looked at his friend Buck. ".. I know now what he's always been up to ..."

Again he looked at Adam, who had taken a step closer, and grabbed him by the collar before he could speak. "Just shut the hell up! I don't want to listen to your crap."

Challenging, Mitch looked at him. "What's wrong, Cartwright? Can't you deal with the truth? That you seem to prepare the girls for your brothers because they're too stupid for that? This job would be ... "

He got no further, because Adam had punched him a blow in the belly. Mitch doubled over, and Adam drew his gun and pointed it at Buck. "Don't even think about it! ... Joe, get out of here! NOW!"

Buck put his gun belt, he still held in his hand, on the counter, his hands held up and taking back two steps. Without letting him out of sight, Adam put his gun away. As Little Joe was still standing motionless, Adam grabbed him and pushed him towards the saloon door. For Jörn, who stood a little farther away, only one look of Joe's brother was enough, to leave voluntarily. Adam was about to follow the two boys as he saw Mitch pulling his gun from the corner of his eye. In a split second he grabbed Mitch's arm and tried to stop him.

It still was silence in the saloon when the bang already belonged to the past. Adam let go of Mitch's arm, which fell down feebly. Both men looked at what happened behind Adam. Buck was on the ground. It couldn't be overlooked that the bullet had hit him fataly. Mitch put his gun back into the holster and knelt down by his friend. Adam held Joe's arm again. "Run and get the Sheriff."

The two friends looked briefly at the man on the ground and then ran out of the saloon. Carefully, Mitch stood up and looked at Adam. "You're to blame for his death, Cartwright!"

"That's not true and you know that perfectly well!"

With an incredible rage Mitch attacked Adam and in no time a wild brawl arose between the two.

XXX

The stage coach had arrived in Virginia City four hours late. Mr. Francois helped his wife getting out. Then both looked around. "Why couldn't you write a telegram to Bridget or Frederic in the last city? Then they could have picked us up now."

"Because in this weather we couldn't say exactly when we would arrive. I'm quite glad that we didn't have to spend three more days on this post station."

A little annoyed, Mr. Francois' wife tightened her jacket. "And now? You don't know at all where the two live."

"It won't be a problem to find out. Since they have lived here for almost a year in this wilderness, they will probably be known."

Shaking his head Frederic's father looked around, as some cowboys rode with their horses past them loudly bawling. "I hope we're not too late."

His wife rolled her eyes again. "Are you starting that again?"

"Of course, what do you think? Just look around. There you can see what kind of son-in-law you will expect. She will have had her reasons why she wrote such a short telegram."

They both winced. Not twenty yards away, a man staggered out of the saloon and went to the ground. And not even a blink of an eye later another attacked him. Mr. Francois pointed at the two men who were now fighting in the street. "Do you want something like that in the family?"

He looked once more in this direction, and stopped short, only to shake his head. He just thought that he had to be wrong. It couldn't be him. Adam would never be in a saloon at this time of day, and then fight in the street like a wild beast. He wanted to look again, but now so many people had gathered that he couldn't see the two men on the ground properly. He was just about to take his wife's arm to go on as they were both frightened by two shots. Mrs. Francois had laid her hand on her mouth and looked frightened at the saloon. As it looked, the Sheriff had shot up in the air and stood beneath the two men.

"Enough, you two!"

Tom stood between Mitch and Adam, both kneeling on the ground. His friend had placed his hands on his thighs and tried to get air. Mitch didn't look much better and was also on the brink of his strength. Mathew from the saloon stood with arms crossed and a grim look in front of the bar. "Tom, the two have already taken apart half the saloon, and Buck's dead."

Open-mouthed Tom looked at the two on the ground. "Come on, get up. We'll continue to talk in my office."

When they didn't make an effort to get up, Tom gave some men a sign to help Mitch and Adam. "Bring them to the office, ... Mathew, I'll come to you right away. I'll take the two into their room for the night." Tom turned to Little Joe and Jörn. "Joe, please tell Bridget what happened, and you my son ..."

Tom didn't need to talk further. "I know. I'm supposed to be home when you come later."

Tom nodded and followed the other men, and Joe and Jörn ran to their horses when suddenly a man stood in their way. "Excuse me, boys. Can you please help us?"

The two stopped and looked at the couple. "We're looking for our son and daughter. Frederic and Bridget Francois. Do you happen to know where they live?"

Joe hesitated, glancing at Jörn. "Yes, Sir. We can take you to your son. He lives near us. My name's Joe Cartwright, and this is my friend Jörn Brookstone."

"Joe Cartwright? Aren't you the little brother of Adam Cartwright?"

"Yes, Sir."

Mr. Francois looked at his wife with a smile of joy. "That's what I call a coincidence. Is your brother at home? I would be happy having a talk with him again. I think he's going to be one of the few people you can talk to in this wilderness. Because the incident just in front of the saloon hasn't changed my mind about this country."

The guys looked at each other and without a word they realized that they didn't want to talk about the fact that it was Adam, who had just put up a fight there. They'd better bring the parents of Bridget to Frederic first, then ride to her. So they took a buggy from the livery stable and drove off.

XXXXX

"How long will you keep me here?"

Tom gave Adam a coffee and breakfast in the cell. "Until the judge decided whether you both will be charged or not."

Adam leaned against the wall with a painful face. "But you already know that I wanted to get married in two days?"

Tom leaned against the cell door and grinned at his friend. "Are you sure, Buddy? Just as Bridget looked like yesterday afternoon, I rather think she's packing her bags taking the next coach to Boston with her parents."

Adam touched his ribs and tried to find a position he could sit without his whole chest aching. "If you'd let me go, I could talk to her, and she won't pack her bags."

"Did you look in the mirror?" Tom laughed again. "When I told Sybil that you were standing once again with a black eye in front of the altar, she just rolled her eyes and grumbled as I never heard from my wife."

Adam looked at him a little desperately. "I have to get out of here, Tom! You know that."

His friend shrugged. "What am I supposed to do, Buddy? You should have thought about that before fighting."

Adam went to jump up, but then let himself sink back to the wall with his eyes closed. "I'll let you know when I know something more precisely."

Tom closed the door and left Adam with his thoughts in the cell. He looked at the ceiling and only hoped that he hadn't screwed up again.

Finally the next day, Adam could leave jail. He picked up his suit and rode slowly home. As it looked, not only Bridget was angry with him, but also his father. Except for Hoss nobody had shown up at Tom's. Cautiously, he got off the horse, entered the house, and put down his things. He didn't look up as he heard her voice. "Well, you've done a really good job. Not only that I was alone and had to explain to my parents why we're already living together. No, I also had to somehow get my father to believe that you are the Adam Cartwright, whom he knows from Boston."

He had still lowered his head but turned slightly to her, trying to look as innocent as possible. "When I say I'm sorry, can I still get a chance?"

She came to him and looked him in the face. "Are you aware that a wedding is a special day? A beautiful day?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't my intention to get into a fight with Mitch."

She crossed her arms. "But it's clear to you that you've been behaving worse than schoolkids for years? And now there are already two dead. Do I have to visit my future husband in the state prison?"

"No. The judge has decided that there will be an investigation, but everything will result in an accident. Sure Mitch will get a little punishment for pulling the gun, but that too won't be a prison sentence."

She poked him against the chest, and he tried not to show too clearly how much it hurt. "One thing you did for me, Adam Cartwright. I will never forget my wedding."

She looked him in the face again, shook her head and then left him standing.

XXXXX

Adam stood in the church and was annoyed with himself that he hadn't restrained himself in the saloon. Not only was he really standing with a tattered face in front of the altar, but his bones were still aching, and he didn't really know how to stand. He winced as someone slapped him on the back. "Adam, Adam, ... if I had known how easy it would have been to bind you to my company. But now it's too late. If I didn't know better, I'd think you've waited so long until I sold it."

"No, Mr. Francois, I certainly didn't."

"Son, I think now you should start slowly calling me Clement. Although I'm still not quite sure if I should agree with this wedding." Adam's gaze grew more serious. "Adam, what happened to you in the last few years? Not only do you appear like a savage and end up in jail. No, you obviously have forgotten what decency is. Not that I'm not looking forward to becoming a grandfather twice this year, but I've expected you to know how to behave."

Adam didn't know what to say to that now, and so he only looked at Bridget's father guiltily and winced again as he again got another pat on the back. "And Clement, did you give my son a lecture?"

"Yes Ben, I did, and as we will definitely stay here until my third grandchild sees the light of day, I will also have an eye on him."

Adam's gaze wandered from his father to Clement, and he took a deep breath, but this proved to be a mistake. He put his hand on his chest and closed his eyes for a moment, but opened them again instantly, when he got the next slap on his back. "How's things, buddy? Are you ready?"

"Definitely. Because if Hoss slaps me on the back again so nicely, I have to crawl to the altar on all fours. "

"And if it weren't for my daughter, my dear Adam, you wouldn't deserve it otherwise."

For confirmation, Ben nodded. Adam took Tom by the arm and went to the altar. "What do you think, Ben? Will they ever grow up?"

Ben shook his head. "No way."

Adam was standing in front of the altar and still couldn't believe it was becoming finally true, after so many years, what he had imagined at Frederick's wedding. Bridget and he had to laugh when they had talked about it some weeks ago, and they both admitted that they had already consented to marry there. Now he looked down the aisle and had to swallow. It was a picture he would never forget. His two little sisters walked before Bridget, led by her father. He didn't look away when Tom pushed him. "Hey, Buddy, that I finally see you so emotional."

Adam took Bridget's hand and didn't let go. During the whole ceremony, they looked into each other's eyes. Even years later, he couldn't remember a word of what was said. Only her green eyes. His spring meadow. And when he kissed her to seal their love, he heard their hearts beat with the same rhythm.


	71. Chapter 71

She opened her eyes as she felt his warm lips on hers. "Good Morning, beautiful lady."

Adam was sitting at the edge of the bed. His gaze was gentle and full of love. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because I wanted to let you sleep today. You've been looking so tired the last few days."

She sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. "Adam, I'm just expecting a baby, I'm not sick."

He looked at her with care, then looked at the small table next to the bed. "Koko gave me herbs for a tea yesterday, and I made you a pot. Just lie and enjoy the day today. I'm going to have breakfast on the Ponderosa and then spend the morning with Riccardo, and I don't want to see that you have again spent the whole day with the housework, when I get home tonight. Take a book and just sit down in the spring sunshine."

She stroked his arm. "Don't worry about me all the time. I'm fine."

"I just want you to rest sometimes, and that you're happy."

"I am, and if you look at me so lovingly even in thirty years time, I couldn't feel any better."

Adam leaned forward and gave her a kiss. "I'll look at you that way even in sixty years."

"I love you, Adam."

His next kiss he would never have ended if Bridget hadn't pushed him away slightly. "Weren't you going to have breakfast?"

"Didn't I just have that?"

He grinned. She took his face in her hands, looked him in the eye and gave him a tender kiss. "Finally go now. Riccardo has been looking forward to finding stray cattle with you for weeks. I'll be at the Ponderosa for lunch. Emillia invited us all."

He put his hand on her belly. "But promise me that you will also think of yourself and not do as much as in the recent weeks."

"And you stop worrying so much."

He kissed her belly tenderly, then her and then finally he stood up. At the door he stopped again and looked at her with a deep sigh. "I love you, Bridget. And day by day even more." With a last gentle glance he closed the door.

XXXX

Adam took Sport by the reins and walked the short way to the Ponderosa. Then he stopped and held his face in the spring sunshine. Today again it would certainly be a warm day. He loved when the air smelled so fresh in the morning after a rainy night. In the last three weeks they had spent most of the time outside bringing the cattle back to the pastures and to brand the calves. It had been very wet and cool work, and it was only in the last few days that the sun had been able to fight through the clouds.

Adam had been frightened when he returned home last week and saw how done Bridget had been. She'd assured him every day that everything was all right, but he couldn't prevent his fear of losing her getting stronger again. Even if Koko had tried to calm him down, because he was already worrying too much, he couldn't easily push aside his thoughts. He was just glad that there were so many who kept looking after her. He was especially pleased that the relationship between Bridget, Frederic and their parents had improved. Clement and Cholette had rented a small house near town. Since the birth of Fabio, Frederic's second son, Cholette has been spending most of the time with Giovanna or Bridget, while Clement was often with Adam's father.

Adam squinted into the sun. Since his wedding, his life had gone the way he had always wanted. Soon he would have his own family, and the work on the Ponderosa also ran according to his wishes and with Tico as his foreman. As with George, they understood each other blindly and didn't need many words.

Likewise, he got along better with his father than ever before after their conversation. He showed an understanding of his work and his attitude towards the Indians, as he hadn't had in all these years before. At the moment, things couldn't get any better. Now only the birth of his child in the summer had to go well. Adam tied Sport and opened the door. Rusty ran barking past him towards the playing children. Travis laughed and first crawled to the dog and then to Adam. He took him in his arms and grinned at him. "Well hello, my little humming bear."

"Good morning, Adam. I just hope that you address at least your child with the correct name."

Smiling, but shaking his head, Ben slapped his son's arm and went to the dining table. "I didn't give him the name Liwanu. That was Hoss and Koko."

Ben didn't say anything. He knew it would have no point anyway. His children had shown him very clearly that they now led their own lives."Aydo's sitting with me."

Sophie clung to his pant leg and looked up at him. Sarah came by and took Adam's hand and pulled him to the table. "No, with me!"

"No!"

The two girls glared at each other. "Ladies, I'll sit in the middle, and if you don't agree, I'll sit down with Little Joe."

"Uncle Adam, must we have breakfast? Can't we go now?"

"We have to, little cowboy. Otherwise you'll have no strength after we find some strays."

With a small pout Riccardo sat at the table. "Adam, shouldn't I come with you?"

"Hoss, I have such a good support from our future foreman. Therefore we don't need you. Think you just want to dodge spending the morning with Travis."

Hoss gave him a forced look because his brother had once again looked through him so easily. Koko had thrown him out more or less because she wanted to take care of cleaning the house this morning, and Travis was only on a discovery tour and you could almost never lose sight of him. Ben took the coffee pot and poured Emillia some coffee first and then himself. "Where do you want to go today?"

He looked questioningly at Adam. "I didn't want to go too far, because we'd like to be back at noon. I thought we'd look at the Hoover Canyon again. Then I can look at the fences there."

"Watch out as you ride through the little creek. By thaw in the mountains there could be an unpleasant current."

"We do, Pa. I don't intend to take an involuntary bath."

"And me neither. I'll take care of Uncle Adam."

Hoss leaned a bit forward. "Well, big brother, don't you want to think it over? Not that you get in trouble with your cowboy."

Adam pointed his fork at his brother. "No chance, Hoss. The morning belongs to Riccardo and me. Not even Rusty will accompany us."

Ben's head shot up and he looked at the dog. "Rusty stays with us?"

Instantly Sarah joined the conversation. "Sure, Pa. If Wynono doesn't take me with him, I'll play with Rusty at least."

Her father rolled his eyes. "But if you forget to clean her afterwards, then she stays outside for lunch, and I won't care if it rains or snows. Understood, Sarah?"

Through the pressed lips there came a "Yes, Pa."

"Understood, Sarah ..."

Sophie mimicked her father, looking at her sister, then stuck out her tongue. "Sophie, ... Sarah, ... if you don't behave right away, you will go to your room and only come back for lunch."

Both girls looked at their plates and said nothing. Ben took a deep breath and wondered why he was always looking forward to the weekend, even though he knew how loud and exhausting it was. Somehow he had the feeling that every Saturday and Sunday the entire family was with them.

"Come on, Riccardo. First, you didn't want to eat and now it takes you forever."

Quickly Riccardo put the last piece of bread into his mouth and took a big sip of milk. Adam also emptied his cup and stood up. "Uncle Adam, do I have to take my jacket with me?"

Adam put on his hat. "Take it. I've got mine too, but you can put it in the saddle bag like me."

Adam looked once more at the table and with a grin, he waved to his family. "See you later."

XXX

"We haven't found a single cow or calf, and I've practiced so much with the lariat."

Adam dropped a fence post, which was quite rotten due to rain and snow. "Yes, I saw that and that the calf was dragging you across the meadow."

He pulled the hat deeper on Riccardo's face, as always when he wanted to tease him. Riccardo pushed it back right away and looked at his uncle, insulted. "I'm getting better and better."

Adam put his hand on Riccardo's shoulder. "You really are, and if you get more strength in your arms, you'll be able to hold the calf, and it won't run away with you. So don't mutter so often when you have to muck out the barn. This way you'll get more and more strength in your arms."

The boy looked at him dutifully. "I'll do that. Every day. Without complaining. Then I can go with you to the roundup next year."

Adam gently slapped him on the cheek. "Take your time with growing up, Riccardo. This will happen faster than you can imagine."

"But if I'm old enough, then you'll take me with you?"

"I won't let such a good cowboy work on another ranch. Now get up on your horse, or we won't be home for dinner on time."

Riccardo smiled at him as his arm was suddenly torn backwards. Adam and Riccardo looked quite puzzled at the boy's horse, which lay dead on the ground. Then suddenly it was a flowing movement for Adam. He grabbed Riccardo and put him on Sport. At a glance he had seen an arrow in the throat of the horse. He didn't even need to turn around, he had already discovered Kajika with his warriors, who now rushed towards them loudly yelling.

"DON'T TURN AROUND! DON'T STOP! TELL BEN, HE MUST GO TO AMAROK! NOT HERE!"

Before Riccardo could say anything, Adam gave his horse a hard slap, and Sport started running. He hoped that Riccardo would really do what he'd said. At first Adam just wanted to stop and wait for Kajika. He didn't need to worry that the Indian would kill him right away. Otherwise, he would already lie next to Riccardo's horse. He wanted him alive, and Adam knew exactly why. On Monday the army would evacuate the village of Kajika and resettle his tribe. Kajika had been in the village of Amarok several times in recent weeks to persuade him to support him in the fight against the army, but Koko's father had rejected every time. As it looked Kajika would now reach for the last resort. He wanted to blackmail Amarok with his capture. Adam looked to the left to a small forest. He would never make it there in time, but perhaps he could distract the warriors from Riccardo. So he didn't hesitate and ran off. Adam hadn't even run twenty yards when the arrow hit him in the lower leg. With Adam at full speed, it took him off his legs. He fell face down onto the muddy ground. He stayed there until he was grabbed by the collar and pulled to his feet. Immediately he counted the warriors. If he wasn't wrong, none of them had followed Riccardo. Kajika stood in front of him in full war paint. The hatred in his eyes was even greater than the last time they had seen each other. "Son of the Ponderosa, are you ready to die?"

"I'm not afraid of death, Kajika. Are you willing to sacrifice your tribe because you are too proud to go a different way?"

With a rifle butt Kajika hit him in the belly. Adam slumped back to the ground. He wasn't able to stand on his own two feet. Still lying, his hands were tied. He was pulled back onto his feet. "Because you think you're as strong as an Indian, you're going to walk to my village."

With a jump, the Indians mounted their horses and let them start running. After a few yards, Adam was no longer able to run after them. So he was dragged to the village, not only struggling with the pain in his leg but his entire body.

XXX

Riccardo rode as fast as he could. Even if he would have liked to turn around to see what happened to his uncle, Adam's voice had been so powerful that he didn't dare. He hoped that Sport would keep on running and not start to refuse to move or simply stand still. He wouldn't have had the strength to control Adam's horse, if it decided right now to take a stubborn five minutes rest. Not even at the creek, did he reduce the speed. Too big was his fear that Kajika had sent his warriors after him. The tears streamed down his face. Riccardo was sure his uncle was already dead, and if he wasn't, he wouldn't have very long to live. When he reached the Ponderosa, he didn't bother tying the horse, but jumped out of the saddle and fell onto his knees and hands. The next few yards he crawled to the door and only when he pushed it open was he back on his feet. The heads of Ben, Clement and Hoss shot towards the door. A look at Frederic's son was enough to suspect something had happened. Immediately Ben was with him and knelt before him. "What happened? Where's Adam?"

Riccardo's breathing was so fast and hectic that he was almost unable to give Ben an answer. His body was slightly bent forward. His hands lay on his thighs.

"RICCARDO ...!"

He looked at the father of his uncle, and even more tears gathered in his eyes. Because of the noise in the living room, the five women came out of the kitchen. With a few steps Giovanna was with her son. Out of fear he was still breathing too fast, but there was only one word that took everyone's breath.

"Kajika!"

With one hand, Bridget clung to the chair as she felt the ground being pulled under her feet. The other hand she put on her belly. It was deadly silent in the room. Everyone knew what was going to happen with the tribe of Kajika in two days. When Clement gave his daughter a look, which clearly showed that he felt confirmed in his opinion about this part of the country and its inhabitants, he got a blow from his wife in the side before someone had noticed it. Ben was then the first to find his voice again. "Riccardo, please tell me what exactly happened!"

Giovanna's son looked back and forth between his mother and Ben. "We were just going home when they showed up. They killed Graybird. Uncle Adam put me on Sport and sent me to you."

Ben closed his eyes and gathered strength for his next question. "What about Adam?"

Riccardo let his head hang. He only whispered. "I dont know. He told me I should only get away quickly and to you."

Ben slowly rose again. Sarah ran to her mother's arm. Her father took his hat and buckled his gun belt. "I'll go check."

"I'll come with you, Pa."

In a moment, Hoss stood next to him and dressed.

"No."

Riccardo held Ben by the arm. "Uncle Adam said you should go to Amarok and tell him."

Ben shook his head. "We will ride where you were last and look for Adam.

"Ben, ... Adam's right. We have to see my father." Koko was now standing by the two men. "No White Man should be seen near Kajika's village now. He would kill any of you without hesitating. Only my father can go to his village and ask for Adam."

Ben wanted to disagree when Hoss put his hand on his arm. "Pa, let's ride into the village. Amarok will know what we can do."

Ben looked around the room. Emillia nodded to him. Bridget had now sat down in one of the armchairs and stared straight ahead. Her parents were with her. He turned and left the house. Hoss and Koko followed him. Sarah looked at Bridget and went from her mother's arms to her to sit down on her lap. "He's not dead. He told me he'd be with us when he's dead. But I don't feel him, so he lives." Sarah looked at her with her big eyes. "And Wynono doesn't lie, does he?"

Bridget couldn't give her an answer, and so she embraced Sarah tightly. She didn't know whether she should wish Adam a quick death than a long captivity with Kajika.

XXXX

He lay with his face on the ground. The arrow in his leg had long since broken off and the tip had drilled deeper into his flesh. His whole body ached, and he spat blood. Then Adam was pulled up under his arms. Kajika stood with a grin in front of him and looked into his eyes. "And, are you scared now?"

"No. I'm not afraid to die, but you're afraid to go another way."

Kajika cut his shackles. "You still have great words, but before the sun sees the day the second time behind the mountain you will scream, beg for mercy and desire death."

With a jerk he tore Adam's shirt apart and cut the chain off. He held it close to his face, then threw it to the ground. "You have no right to wear such a thing."

Adam felt the knife tip at his throat. "Are you scared now?"

"I think I understand the Great Mystery better than you. The chain's only a symbol to remind me of my guardian spirit. The strength doesn't come from the chain. It's in me. It's around me. I'll go with pride to the happy hunting grounds when my time has come. But I wonder, what you will tell him when the Great Spirit speaks to you? What will be your words? That you were more willing to send your warriors to death than to negotiate? Do your warriors, the women and children know what they have to expect?"

The tip pressed more into his throat. "They will go to their death with their heads held high, but the blood of the White Man shall soak the ground, and yours will be the first. This is our homeland, and we won't go, just so you can build your houses here or because you need space for your iron horses."

"Why do you need me? Why don't you kill me at once?"

"I want to take as many White Men as possible with me, and I can only do that if Amarok is at my side. I do not expect that he will watch how I am willing to let his son suffer." He looked at Adam in disgust. "If I did not insult Mother Earth, I would spit at your feet, so bad I feel that I have uttered these words aloud."

He took a step back and gave his men a brief order. Adam was stripped of his shirt and brought to the rocks. He was pressed to the stone. Adam knew what Kajika intended. It was only spring, but the sun was already so strong that if he had been tied to the rock without water, he would be in real trouble. And if he had to spend the night out here, he would wish the sun to be back. The chief again stood in front of him. "Well, do you still believe in the Great Spirit? Do you think he would do this to one of his children?"

Adam nodded. "Do you believe in him? If you were to understand him, your path would be different and not that of violence. You should know when you're sitting on a dead horse before it's too late."

He squeezed his teeth in pain as Kajika pushed his knife into his hand. Kajika's forearm on his throat and his hot breath all close to his face, the Indian hissed at him. "Do you really believe that your blood has changed in the last months?"

He turned the knife several times in the wound and looked Adam in the eyes, but as before, no sound came from Adam's lips. His eyes never twitched as Kajika drew out the knife and looked at it. "No, son of the Ponderosa. It's still the blood of a miserable White Man."

He wiped the blade on Adam's chest and walked away. Adam exhaled deeply. He tried to put all his emotions behind as he knew that it was only the beginning of what he would have to expect in the next few hours. Kajika would kill him, that was clear to him, but only on Monday morning when the army would come to the village. But no matter what might happen. He wouldn't do the chief a favour and show him his fear and pain. No way. He would rather bite his tongue.

XXX

Amarok rode in Kajika's village with two of his warriors. He saw at first glance where Adam was, and that he was still alive. Although he had leaned his head against the rock and closed his eyes, Amarok could see clearly how his chest lifted and lowered. Slowly he got off his horse and turned to Kajika.

"I have been waiting for you, Amarok."

"Has hatred confused your mind?"

"It is wide-awake, but yours apparently is not. Do you realize now that you can only fight for your people by my side?"

"My fight is different from yours. What do you think you will achieve by your way? You do not believe that your heroic deeds are sung at the fire? Only the suffering you have brought to your tribe will be remembered."

Kajika looked at Amarok's warriors and his horses. "Since you have not come to my village in the colours of war, I assume that you are going to continue to be the slaves of the Whites. A strong warrior has become a small, whimpering mouse."

"You cannot offend me. I have realized that we have lost the war against the White Man long since. I do not need to send my tribe or myself to death to live up to the Great Spirit. I have realized that I must now lead another fight. The fight against forgetting."

"Then leave my village. Here, only brave warriors are welcome at the fire and no weak women, but remember that you will be to blame for his death ..." He pointed to Adam. "... The moment the White Man will enter my village to drive us out, he will die."

"Then it will be so. I would like to say goodbye to him. You should not refuse my request."

Kajika looked to one of his warriors and gave him the order to get Adam. "But I will not listen to your whining, like that of two women."

Two warriors had grabbed Adam by the arms and then hurled him to the feet of Amarok. Adam coughed. His mouth was too dry and when he fell, he had inhaled sand. The sun had already done a good job in the last hours.

"Bring me water." The warriors of Kajika looked at Amarok hesitantly. "Kajika certainly will not agree that he will die too early."

One of the men ran to Kajika, spoke briefly with him, and then returned with a bag of water. Amarok took the bag and then sat cross-legged on the ground. He had noticed that Adam's leg was hurt and he couldn't stand for long. "How is my Chaska?"

Adam straightened up and tried to find a position to sit best without pain. Then he had to bend back and cough. His voice was very husky. "I'm alright."

Amarok tilted his head, but didn't respond to Adam's reply. He knew him too well to not recognize that he was struggling with pain. "Drink something, Wynono. Then speaking will be easier for you."

He handed the water bag to Adam. "But remember, only small sips. Though you are a strong and brave warrior, you have the stomach of a weak woman."

Adam took a small sip and, though being aware of his predicament, he couldn't help a small smile. Amarok had always made fun of Adam since he hadn't the strongest stomach. "You know why Kajika is detaining you here in his village?"

"He wants you to feel guilty."

"I could come to the village with my warriors and free you."

Adam opened his eyes. "Amarok, you won't do that. You must promise me that you'll go back to your village and noone, not a single one, will leave it until everything's over here."

Koko's father looked at him with an expressionless face. Only in his eyes Adam could recognize sadness. "That would mean your sure death."

Adam drank a little. "I'm not important. What's important is that you stay in the village. Only there you are safe, since the land belongs to me. The army has no right to expel you from there, but if you interfere in Kajika's insane struggle, I can no longer protect you. Then it doesn't matter who owns the land. We talked about our struggle being different from this one."

The chief of the Gosiute nodded slightly. "Yes, our heritage, about which we have talked."

"If you follow the path of Kajika, then after a few winters noone will remember the tribe of the Gosiute. As noone will ever remember Kajika's tribe." Adam took a deep breath. "Amarok, I won't live much longer, but you can pass on the legacy. You can show that it is possible that the White Man and your people can share this land ... " He paused again. "... Winona's like me. She also carries the love for your people in her heart. Take her by the hand. Even if she's a girl, show her what you have shown me. Bring your culture closer to her. Let her, if she wants, go on a journey. This is the only way to make it possible for the next generations to understand and see what we both have already understood."

Adam closed his eyes. His face was painfully distorted. While speaking he had forgotten to think of his hand, and he had clenched his fists. Immediately fresh blood flowed from the wound.

"I will do that, my son. I will continue our fight, and your name will be called with pride at the fire of my people."

"You don't have to worry about your village. If I become one with the Great Spirit, Hoss' name will be on the papers for the land. And he will pass it on to the right persons until your people have the right to write their names on the paper."

They both looked at each other. Everyone was aware, that but for a miracle happening, they were seeing and talking to each other for the last time. Adam's voice trailed off.  
"Amarok, ... you tell my child why I died, and why it was important for us, ... for me? It shall understand why I chose this path."

"I will do that, Wynono. For your descendants it will be an honor to bear your name."

"And Koko shall not be sad. If the Great Spirit means well with us, he will reunite the soul and it won't cry any more ..." His voice grew even softer. His gaze had long been turned to the ground. "Bridget, ..." Adam closed his eyes. He wasn't to show any weakness. Kajika would take advantage of it instantly. "... Please tell her ... "

Before he could continue, he was again pulled up by Kajika's warrior. Adam looked with big eyes at Amarok. He couldn't continue. He mustn't. He had to be strong again. "I'll find the right words, Wynono."

Then Adam was taken to the rock and tied again. Amarok went to his horse and left the village without looking at Adam again.

XXXX

Restlessly Ben walked up and down in the village of the Gosiute, waiting for the return of Amarok. Shortly before, he had returned from the army camp, where he had tried to achieve stopping them from entering the village of Kajika early Monday morning. But all the pleading and explanation hadn't helped. The commanding officer had only shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn't do anything for Adam. He could take no account of him. Kajika had refused any peaceful negotiation in the run-up, and now the officer had strict orders to resettle the tribe. If Kajika didn't go voluntarily, they would have to use force. Everything in Ben demanded to ride to the village of Kajika to get Adam. Ben held his breath as he saw Amarok riding into the village. Then his shoulders sagged down as he realized his son wasn't with him. He didn't even let Amarok get off his horse, when he was already with him.

"What about Adam?"

Koko's father put his hand on Ben's shoulder and walked past him. Completely horrified and with a shocked glance, Ben followed him. Amarok sat down in front of his tipi and closed his eyes. Ben stood in front of him and didn't know what to say or do.

"Ben, sit down with me. I will not talk to you if you run around here like a wild buffalo."

Ben put his hands akimbo and looked at Hoss, who showed him with his hands that he should sit down. Gasping, Ben sat down at Amarok. "Wynono's alive."

Ben and Hoss breathed out, relieved. "How can we help him and free him?"

The Gosiute's chief opened his eyes. "We will speak with the Great Spirit and ask him that he doesn't let him suffer long."

No sound came from Ben's mouth when he opened it. He was too stunned by what he had just heard. He looked at Hoss, hoping he'd misunderstood the Indian. That his son had almost drained out of color on his face showed him that he had understood everything perfectly well. "Amarok, are you telling me to just wait until Adam's dead?"

"That is the wish of your son. He recognized that there is something more important than his life."

Quickly, Ben was on his feet. "That's not true! He wouldn't say that! Adam would never choose death. Not now!"

Hoss had stepped to his side and held him by the arm. "Pa, please calm down."

Ben looked at him pleadingly. "Your brother wouldn't say such a thing. Now that Bridget is with him, ... now that he is to become a father ... "Ben looked back at Koko's father. His voice was very weak. "Amarok, why would my son say that?"

The chief raised his head and looked at him with firm gaze. "Because your son has more love for my people in his heart than Kajika probably ever had."

Ben turned away from the Indian. Too much strength was needed to not say any thoughtless words about the Indians and his son. He had tried. He had tried all the past months. But again, he didn't understand how much Adam lived for the Indians, so that he was ready to die for them. His back stiffened as he felt a hand there.

"Ben, ..." Aponi stood behind him. "... Wynono knows if Amarok rode with his warriors to the village of Kajika, there would be a bloody encounter. It wouldn't take long then, and the army would come here too, claiming they had to end an Indian uprising. You know what that would mean to the Gosiute. Do you think Wynono could live with the fact that two tribes have to leave their homes, and many lost their lives, just so he can live?"

"Aponi, I cannot just wait and do nothing."

Amarok's wife still touched him and nodded. "Yes, Ben. There is no other possibility. Return home. Your family needs you now. Bridget needs you all in these hours. In these dark hours the Gosiute will beat the drums to make the transition easy for Wynono, and Amarok will try to talk to the Great Spirit, and who knows ..., maybe He will show Wynono a way because it's not yet time for him to leave this world. It's no longer in our hands."

"Aponi ...!"

Her voice was now energetic, but her eyes were gentle. "No, Ben. Return to us on Monday. Then we'll see what's going on with Wynono."

"Come on Pa, I'll ride with you to the Ponderosa."

Hoss had to drag his father to the horses. Even though he would have preferred riding to the village of Kajika, he knew that it was pure suicide. They had to try to keep calm until Monday.

XXXX

Adam didn't know when he had stopped trembling. It hadn't taken long. When the sun had disappeared behind the mountains, he started to feel cold. He had been heated by the sun too much. Now he felt the warmth of his leg wound, and even though he knew it was going to inflame, he was pleased with this warm feeling. He looked into the stars and wondered if Bridget was looking up into the sky right now. He immediately closed his eyes. He had made up his mind not to think of her. He had to stay strong. So he took a deep breath and swallowed the pain. For this he had to be grateful to his father as he had asked for strength again and again in his childhood. So it was easier for him to put his feelings behind. He was just trying to indulge his inner silence, in order to gather strength for the next day, when he heard a noise beside him. Adam opened his eyes and looked around. In front of him stood a little Indian girl, slightly older than Winona. He tried to smile at her.

"Hello."

His voice sounded very rough once again, since he didn't get anything to drink after Amarok had left the village. The girl cocked her head. "You are not to blame."

Adam had to cough again to speak. "What am I not to blame for?"

"That Amarok is no longer a strong warrior."

"He's a wise and brave chief."

The girl looked to a ledge, behind which a little boy peeped out. "This is Chesmu, my brother. My name is Aiyana."

Adam thought for a moment. "Weren't you now and then in the village of Gosiute and played with Winona?"

She nodded. "My father talked a lot with Amarok."

"Is he a friend of the chief of the Gosiute?"

"Yes, he was."

"Was?"

The girl looked back at her brother, who was still standing by the rocks. "He is dead."

Adam glanced at the stars. "I'm sorry."

"Kajika killed him because he wanted to move with us to the village of the Gosiute."

With horror, Adam looked at the fire in the middle of the camp where Kajika sat with his warriors. The Indian must have lost his mind, for Adam couldn't explain his behavior. Even if he could understand the hatred he had had on his country's policy, he couldn't understand that he was killing someone in the name of his anger just because he was of a different opinion. Kajika raised his head at the same moment and looked in his direction. Then he got up and came to him at the rocks. He put his arm around Aiyana. "And, do you see in his eyes how evil he is? There is no love and understanding for our people. Your parents have listened to the wrong man. They have been influenced by the lies of the White Man, as well as Amarok. He will laugh at us when the soldiers will come to our village to kill us. Your parents could be by your side when you will go honorably to the happy hunting grounds, but he is to blame that they are dead. He and his lies."

All the time he had looked Adam in the eyes. "Come to the fire with your brother. It will be a cool night. I have something to discuss with you."

Aiyana looked back at Adam. "And he? Isn't he going to feel cold?"

Kajika pulled the girl by the shoulder. "He is not worthy to sit down on the warming fire."

Chesmu and his sister went to the others with Kajika, but shortly before that she looked over her shoulder to Adam once more. He leaned his head back against the stone and tried not to think that on Monday, not only the warriors in the village would die. Kajika had just said it. For the satisfaction of his hatred, he even seemed to be ready to sacrifice the children of the village. Adam looked back at the stars. If only he could think of something to change the fate of the tribe.

Adam thought his heart would stop when ice-cold water was poured onto his face. As it looked, the fatigue had finally overwhelmed him. The wound on his leg had continued to become inflamed. Over the night, he had gotten strong chills and the pain in his leg had intensified. Even now he felt that he had fever. His shackles were loosened and if the warriors hadn't caught him, he would have slumped to the ground.

"And, are you afraid now?"

Adam took a deep breath and stood straight up and looked at Kajika with a firm look. "You will be scared. Like any other white weakling before you." The chief came a little closer to Adam. "I do not want to be told I do not treat our prisoners well. That's why you can wash yourself at the river and eat and drink."

The two Indians brought him to the water, but as the day before, they just let go of him and gave him a hard push. Adam was still lying on his belly for a while, till the pain in his leg and hand lessened.

A little later he lay on his back and tried to breathe calmly. Too tiring were the last minutes. Every movement was accompanied by a new wave of pain. Adam turned his head to the side as he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Aiyana sat next to him. "I shall give you something to eat."

Adam dropped his head back onto the meadow. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"You must eat. Otherwise you have no strength."

He laughed slightly. Should he tell her that he didn't need any more strength because they all would be dead by tomorrow this time?

"Kajika wants me to kill you tomorrow because you are to blame for my parents' death." Adam put his head to one side, looked at her shaken and wondered how sick the chief must be. "This is the only way I can go to the happy hunting grounds."

"Everyone of us will go there. You don't have to kill me or another."

"My mother has said the spirit of Kajika has left the right path of life."

Nausea rose in Adam. He didn't know whether it was due to his injuries or the idea of what Kajika did to his tribe. "Your parents were very wise, and my heart mourns to hear that they had to die just because they had a different view of things than your chief."

"Eat. You need strength if the Great Spirit has another way for you."

Adam turned to the side and took the bowl from her. "You shouldn't say that in front of Kajika."

"Kajika is blind and deaf with hatred for the White Man. My mother told me he was wrong. Just like you and Winona there might be more who understand us."

Adam had to struggle hard to put his emotions aside. This little girl had more insight and understanding than Kajika. A shadow fell on them both. Adam raised his head slightly and looked into the face of Kajika. "As I see, you are understanding that she's your fate."

He resisted the temptation to close his eyes as he was dragged and brought back to the rocks. The throbbing in his leg increased again. Only when the sun dazzled him did he pinch shut his eyes. "What's wrong? Don't you want to enjoy the last rays of sunshine in your miserable life?"

"The question is, who's miserable of the both of us. I don't need children to kill for me."

Rarely Adam had heard an Indian laugh so loudly. "Oh, I might also entrust one of my warriors with this task, but your patience and love for children is not only known in the village of the Gosiute. This is probably the only thing you have in common with my people and what makes you different from the other Whites. So I thought to myself, what could be more beautiful for you? You look into the eyes of a child when death comes upon you."

"Are you concerned about the welfare of your tribe at all? Or do you just want to take revenge on Amarok because he's not at your side? But he won't know how I'm dying."

Adam's back of head hit the stone hard as Kajika pressed his forearm against his throat again. "I am only thinking of the good of my tribe, my people. But you will never understand that." He looked into Adam's eyes deeply. "Are you scared now? Scared to die by the hand of a child?" 

"Death, no matter how, cannot frighten me."

The blood mingled with his saliva, as he bit so hard on his cheek to keep himself from screaming, as Kajika stabbed the knife again in his hand. He pulled it out to ram it right back. "You are not as strong as we are. Come on, scream and I will relieve you. Stay calm and you will continue to suffer."

After Kajika had stabbed repeatedly, and Adam still gave no sound, he let go of him. "You will be screaming when the sun appears the next time over the mountain."

It wasn't till the Indian went away from him that Adam closed his eyes. His breathing became more hectic, and he fought with himself, the pain, his rage, and the tears.

Soon he had lost track of time. Then the first arrow hit him. He opened his eyes to close them again. Not only the sun shone so strongly in his eyes. Nor did he want to see the picture before him. Kajika stood with several children before him. And they shot at him with arrows. But these were only arrows as Riccardo also used. They didn't penetrate deeply, but they were very painful. And it wasn't the children who pulled them out again, it was Kajika. And every time he asked him if he finally didn't want to scream.

In the evening Aiyana brought him something to eat and drink, but this time he took only a few sips from the bag. For food he lacked the strength. "Do you hate us now?"

Tired he looked at the Indian girl. "No."

"But we are mean to you."

"No, ... not you, ... only Kajika."

She looked back at her brother. "Chesmu is afraid of Kajika."

Adam looked at the little boy. "You shouldn't know how ... to be afraid ..." He was so tired. "... too ... young."

"Rest now. You need the strength."

He smiled slightly as she took her brother by the hand and walked away. Why did he still need strength? If he was going to make it through the night, it wouldn't take long before the soldiers appeared in the village. Adam began to tremble, and the fever rose again.

The last night before the attack was accompanied by a lot of singing and drumming. The blood in Adam's ears roared louder. For a long time he was no longer able to draw strength from his inner silence. At some point he realized that the noises in his ears were diminishing, and that he no longer perceived the drumming. Cautiously, he opened his eyes and blinked several times. Quite blurry Amarok stood in front of him. Adam gasped. "What ... you shouldn't ..."

"Do you remember what I told you about death?" Adam just nodded. "Then you have to decide whether you want to accept death by your side or tell him you are not ready for the Great Spirit."

"Decide? … How …?"

He closed and opened his eyes time and again, but the picture in front of him wasn't getting any clearer. "You are strong, …. stronger than many of my warriors, and your path doesn't have to end here, but you must continue to believe in you. You are not alone if you want to go on. Your guardian spirit will always be with you."

The next time Adam opened his eyes, Amarok wasn't there any longer, and the noise and drumming grew louder. He flinched when someone cut the shackles on his wrist. "Aiyana, what are you doing?"

He frantically let his eyes wander through the village. Until now, no one had realized what was going on. He didn't move and didn't take his arms off as Aiyana also released the shackles on his other hand. "Do you have enough strength?"

Adam didn't really believe that he would get very far, but better to die now than tomorrow morning by Aiyana or Kajika. "Aiyana, take your brother and hide in the mountains. When it's all over, Amarok will take you to his tribe. Don't stay here in the village when the soldiers come. Please ..."

"You have strength. Go."

Aiyana looked at him again and left him standing. Adam wondered if he should call for her to take her, but then he shook his head. He certainly wouldn't get very far, and then Kajika would kill her for sure as a punishment. This way she could still have a chance to escape. Carefully, he let his gaze wander through the village. If he could make it to the slope, he might try to climb down. ... He didn't want to think further. He would already be glad if he could make it to the slope with his wounds. He waited several more minutes. A last look and he pushed himself up and limped off. He mobilized his last reserves of strength and had already reached the edge of the slope when he heard a roar. He looked briefly over his shoulder. One of the warriors had discovered his escape and pointed a bow at him. Quickly, his eyes wandered across the precipice, but he couldn't see where best to climb down. Then he felt the arrow strike him under the shoulder blade. He wildly flailed and fell forward into the darkness. The irony was that Kajika had been right. Before dawn, his cry echoed through the village. He couldn't help it. When he hit against the stone wall the first time, he not only felt his bones breaking. He heard it, too. Twice he crashed into the steep slope before he hit the ground. He remained lying on his back, moaning and whimpering. He didn't know if he ought to thank his guardian spirit, that he had survived this fall. Then his eyes grew big as he felt a hand on his mouth. His gaze wandered aside, and his eyes grew even bigger when he saw Aiyana and her brother. She put her fingers to her lips and then pointed to a small cave just a few yards away. He nodded slightly. She stuffed a scarf into his mouth because she suspected that he'd scream when he tried to get into the cave. Before trying to make the few yards somehow, she put her hand on his chest so that he remained in the movement. With a small smile, she pulled his repaired chain over his head. He hoped she could see his grateful look. Then he bit on the cloth as hard as he could and pulled and pushed himself the few yards to the hiding place. After what felt like eternity he lay in the small cave. He was drenched in sweat. His heart raced, and he fought with nausea, and against unconsciousness. Aiyana left her hiding place again and returned just in time when he heard Kajika calling for torches. The Indian girl had pulled a little brushwood across the cave opening, then she and her brother leaned against him.

It seemed that the voices of the Indians were approaching their hiding-place more and more when they heard the signal for the soldiers to gather. After that, it was briefly quiet, and then Kajika ordered them to return to the village. It was eerily quiet afterwards, and Adam wondered if Kajika had changed his mind yet and negotiated with the soldiers. But then all the three winced when the first shot was fired. Both children buried their faces on his chest. He held his breath as he tried to wrap his arms around them to protect them both. He mustn't lose consciousness. They needed him now.

At first the loud shouts of the warriors were to be heard, but soon they were drowned out by the fearful shrieks of the women and children from the village. Adam felt the tears of Aiyana and Chesmu on his skin, soon mixed with his.

He was still holding them when it was quiet for a long time. They didn't dare to move, and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't send Aiyana to the village. He didn't know who was out there, and how the soldiers might react with an Indian girl standing in front of them. Could he dare to let them go to Amarok? Then, when it was already getting dark again, he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

XXX

Ben and Hoss reached the village of Kajika, or what was left of it. They were still on the edge of the village when they were stopped by one of the soldiers. Before Ben could say anything, the commanding officer, with whom he had spoken two days before, appeared. "Where's my son?"

Ben pushed the soldier aside and went to meet the officer. "Mr. Cartwright, your son isn't here."

"He must be here. I want to talk to one of the Indians."

The soldier laughed. "This isn't possible because none of them lives anymore."

Ben looked at Hoss, and couldn't hide his distress. "You're not telling me you killed them all?"

The officer crossed his arms. "We had no other choice. They attacked us."

Now Hoss took a step forward. His voice was deep and full of anger. "You had to defend yourselves against women and children?"

The man lowered his arms. "Oh, come on, Mr. Cartwright. Be glad that we have freed you of this riff-raff. Who knows what they did to your son? For he wasn't in the village."

Ben held Hoss back with his hand when he was about to go after the officer in his anger. "I'm going to turn to the appropriate persons and report this. You should resettle the Indians, not kill them."

"I was only following orders, and now get out of here, Cartwright. You're not on your property."

Ben grabbed Hoss by the arm and left the village with him, but only to wait for the soldiers to bury all the Indians and leave the village. Then they returned with Amarok, the shaman and some warriors of the Gosiute to search for Adam. Several times they called his name. Ben and Hoss stood on a slope and had already given up hope of finding Adam alive, when Hoss pulled his father by the arm. "Pa, ... look ..."

An Indian girl came up the slope, and she ran straight toward Hoss. Took him by the hand and pulled him with her.

XXX

Adam lay on the ground in front of the small cave, and his eyes wandered from left to right. His mind hadn't yet properly realized that they were alive and saved. On the one side knelt his father speaking soothingly to him, on the other side was the shaman of the Gosiute and looking at his injuries. "Wynono, I know you know the power of the leaves, and I know you do not like to take them, but you should do it today. You were strong for hours, but it will be easier for you if we want to take you home now."

Adam's gaze wandered to Aiyana and Chesmu, who were standing at Hoss, looking at him anxiously.  
"Hoss, ..."

"Adam, don't try to talk."

Ben laid his hand on his shoulder, but Adam shook his head cautiously. "Hoss, ... protect them, ... I ... I .. no strength ... "

Adam couldn't continue talking. Too great was the pain. He turned his head to the shaman and took the leaves in his mouth, and while he chewed them, he looked at Hoss, who nodded and moved his mouth. But the herbs already showed their effect, and Adam no longer perceived the noises that surrounded him. It didn't take long, and a soothing darkness came over him.


	72. Chapter 72

With a worried look Ben glanced over his shoulder at his son, who was lying on the back of the carriage. While Hoss had brought the carriage from the Ponderosa, they had cleaned Adam on the river of all the dirt and then wrapped him in blankets that one of the warriors had brought. Ben wanted to spare his son the cold water, but the shaman and Amarok had told him that it would be better for Adam to clean him as long as the effect of the leaves lasted so as to spare him unnecessary pain. In no time the warriors had built a stretcher on which they fixed Adam, so that the way to the ranch would be tolerable for him if he was to wake up, which hadn't happened so far.

Not long and they would finally reach the Ponderosa, and he only hoped that Paul was in town and could come out to them as fast as possible. He looked surprised at Hoss, who wasn't heading to the Ponderosa, but to Adam's house. "Hoss, what are you doing? We want to bring him home."

His son didn't look at him. "I'm doing that, Pa."

Ben grabbed his arm. "This isn't the way to the Ponderosa!"

Now Hoss looked at him from the side. "Pa, the Ponderosa isn't his home any more."

"That's nonsense. You're turning back now, and you're driving home, where we can take care of him. "

"No, Pa. I'll take him to his house and Bridget. I'm sure when he wakes up, he doesn't want to be lying in his old room, and after these two days he also needs to look at his mountains. Who knows when he can go back there."

Ben exhaled loudly. "His mountains can't help him now. He should in any ... "

Ben's eyebrows rose as Hoss looked at him angrily and his voice grew louder. "Pa, I'll take him home. You're no longer responsible for him, and I know exactly what he needs now."

Quite dumbfounded Ben looked at Hoss and then again at Adam. They reached his house without speaking another word. The carriage didn't come quite to a halt, when Emillia and Bridget had already left the house. Hoss and Amarok were about to pull the stretcher out of the carriage when Bridget held her brother-in-law's arm. "Wait."

She stood at the side of the stretcher. Very carefully, she touched Adam's face, then stroked his hair and fought with tears, but she was determined to be strong. She had decided to live here in the West, and so she didn't want to break down at her first serious trial. She took a deep breath and made Hoss understand with a nod that they could take him in. She was about to follow the men, then looked in surprise at the two children who were sitting in the back. She looked around, but the men and the shaman had already disappeared into the house, so Emillia and her looked at each other quite helplessly. But then she held out her hand to the children. "Won't you come down and come into the house? It's warmer there."

Aiyana tilted her head and looked from Bridget to Emillia. Then she took her brother by the hand and climbed off the carriage and went into the house with the two women. "Maman, can you please make a hot drink and a snack for the kids? They look very tired."

Bridget led the children into the living room to the settee in front of the fireplace and supplied each with a small blanket. Her head went to the stairs when Amarok and Hoss came back down. Immediately Ben went to run up the stairs, but Hoss stopped him. "Pa, the shaman is with him now. He'll tell us when we can go to Adam."

Clearly everyone could hear Clement exhaling and thus expressing his displeasure at the situation. Amarok looked at him only briefly and stood at the big window and looked at the mountains. Ben, too, couldn't conceal by his facial expression, what he thought about the fact that the Gosiute's medicine man was now up with his son. "Hoss, what about the children? Why did you bring them here?"

Bridget didn't let herself get worked up by Ben and her father. It wouldn't have made any sense to start a discussion with them at the moment. Adam's brother put his hands in his pocket and went to the fireplace. With a sad look he watched Chesmu and Aiyana on the settee. In the meantime, Cholette was back with tea and small sandwiches from the kitchen and handed it to the children. "They haven't talked much to us yet, but it looks like they've helped Adam or he helped them. We don't know exactly yet. Only that Adam has told me to take care of them."

With a questioning look, Bridget glanced at the children and then back to Hoss. "Why didn't you leave them with the Indians? They couldn't have come that far with the soldiers."

Hoss looked at his feet. When he had fetched the carriage, he hadn't told Adam's wife and the others what had happened in the village. He'd just said they'd found Adam and were bringing him home right away. "The soldiers haven't taken any."

"But Hoss, ..." Emillia had now come to the fireplace. "... why didn't you leave them in the village then?"

"The White Man killed them all. The two are the only ones who have been spared because they were with Wynono."

Amarok had turned around briefly. His deep voice still echoed in the air as he looked out the window again. Bridget had her hand over her mouth and looked at the others who were just as shocked by this news. Very slowly she took her hand down and her lips formed soundless the word ... "All?" ... She looked at Hoss. He nodded and looked at the children, who were nibbling on the bread with tired eyes. Bridget turned to the settee and squatted in front of the children. "You look very tired. I think after eating you should try to get some sleep."

"I think so, too ..." Ben was now standing in front of the settee. "... Hoss, you should bring them to the village of the Gosiute if Amarok doesn't mind."

The chief had turned to the others again. "No, I don't mind. Their father was always welcome at our fires."

Chesmu looked at the adults with big eyes and then moved closer to his sister. Bridget put a hand on his leg. "Are you afraid to go outside in the dark?" The boy clung to Aiyana's arm. "But you can understand what we are talking about, can't you?"

"We can. Our parents have taught us the language of the White Man, but my brother is only talking to me since Kajika has taken them out of the tipi."

Bridget didn't want to ask what she meant by that. It was obvious that apparently not only Adam had had difficult hours behind him, but also them. "Then you should go with Amarok, and tomorrow we will see how it goes."

„Hiyá.." Chesmu looked at his sister pleadingly then looked at Bridget again. „Yathípi čha léna waúŋ kte."

"I can understand only a few words of your language. I don't speak it like Ad ... Wynono."

Aiyana looked up the stairs again. Even down here the shaman's soft voice could be heard as in Adam's room he asked the Great Spirit for help in his work and for Adam's healing. "My brother doesn't want to sleep in a tipi anymore. He's scared."

"Aiyana, it's not an easy way your brother wants to go."

The girl looked at Amarok, who was talking to her in her language, and was standing next to her. "They said he's a friend."

"Yes, your father and your mother were very wise and have also seen the new, hard way. But I think you are still very young to understand it. We should talk about it once the day has defeated the night."

"Amarok, what's this all about?"

Bridget had risen and looked at her husband's friend in astonishment. "What Aiyana said. Chesmu doesn't want to sleep in a tipi anymore."

Slowly, Bridget nodded, understanding. "Emillia, would you mind helping me prepare a room upstairs?"

"BRIDGET, ..."

"Papa, you're staying out of this."

She handed Aiyana and Chesmu her hand. The latter stretched out his arms, and without thinking any further, she lifted him up, then took the hand of his sister, and went upstairs with both. Wide-eyed Ben looked at his daughter-in-law and his wife. Only Amarok nodded benevolently. "I will return to you tomorrow morning."

Then he left the house and from above the closing of the door of one of the rooms could be heard.

XXX

Quietly Bridget pulled the door shut behind her, exhaled and looked at Emillia. "Luckily, they fell asleep quite quickly."

Emillia looked at the closed door. "I think they were really done. The boy almost fell asleep on the way up here. Bridget, ..." She took the hand of her daughter-in-law. "... are you aware of the decision you made down there?"

"Emillia, nothing has been decided yet, but it wasn't the right time to discuss anything. The kids were just tired, and if the boy doesn't want to sleep in a tipi at the moment, that's all right by me. None of us knows what has happened the last two days, and what these children have seen and experienced."

"But you could have problems if he doesn't want to go to a village anymore."

"There's no problem. For everything there's a solution, and if you see none, the problem is with yourself."

Emillia laughed slightly. "Has Adam already infected you with his wisdom?"

With a little smile Bridget closed her eyes for a moment. "Believe me, if you hear them so often, you cannot help but talk like that. Although it's always very exhausting when we talk about something, and he then tells me such things with an almost impossible calmness. Since I have always to control myself that I don't ... "

She looked at the door of her bedroom and didn't talk any further. She held her breath, trying to catch herself again. Emillia took her in her arms. "You don't need to fight it. We're with you. So you don't have to be strong."

She let Emillia hug her again and then went back a step. "Yes, I have to. You know how Ben and my father are. They are both waiting to tell me what to do or not, but I will continue to be strong in order to implement Adam's wishes. He trusts the Gosiute's medicine man. I know he wouldn't have wanted it any other way, even if it's difficult for me."

Emillia stroked her arm. "He will make it and be grateful for your understanding."

Shivering, Bridget crossed her arms and shook her head. "But it's not easy for me to really understand everything he does or what he believes. In Boston I only got a part of it, but now here ..." She took a breath and looked back at the door. "... almost all the decisions he makes he tries to reconcile with what the Indians have taught him, and now he was ready to die for it."

"Just as he will make it getting back on his feet, you will make it understanding him better and better. Now you've taken the children without hesitation. You're no different than he. Both of you care for the welfare of the weaker. Just that in Boston there weren't any Indians concerned."

Bridget took another deep breath and tried to grin. "But Emillia, if he should eventually want to live only in a tipi, then it's over for me."

"Oh, dear Bridget, I believe you would even do that if you love him. Well, now come down with me. I'll make you one of Koko's marvelous teas, and you'll have a rest at the fireplace. The next days won't be easy for you. But don't you worry, we'll all be with you and help you."

"Koko's tea, ... someday the men will throw us out of the house because they can't stand to see tea anymore."

"Bridget, one thing you should learn quickly. The real masters of a house are women."

She linked arms with Adam's wife, and together they went downstairs as Paul entered the house right at that moment. "Paul, there you are at last."

Bridget stood on the last step of the stairs and looked surprised at her father-in-law. "Ben, did you send for Doc Martin?"

Ben stood next to his friend and doctor and looked at her, amazed. "Yes, of course. Adam needs a doctor now. "

Her voice was now very energetic. "He's got a doctor, and he's in his room right now."

"Bridget, ... your husband needs a doctor and no ... no ... whatever he is."

Furious, she turned to her father. "I told you this is nothing of your concern, Papa."

Ben came to the stairs. "He needs a real doctor. This isn't about some headaches. You cannot judge that because you haven't seen his injuries."

Both were now facing each other. "I don't need to see them to know what my husband needs."

Her voice had been very quiet, but determined, and she kept eye contact with Ben. Hoss was now with them and laid his hand on his father's shoulder. "Pa, Adam always went to the shaman if he felt sick at all. You can ask Paul that he was almost never with him. He trusts the medicine man. "

"But your brother was hardly sick and now it's all about his life."

"Hasn't he taken care of Adam's hand last fall?"

Before Ben could give his son an answer, Bridget intervened again. "Ben, I've nothing against Paul and that he's here, but I would like to be asked in future. You know exactly what's important for Adam, and I'm sorry if I must say that so clearly, but this is our house, and I decide who's allowed to see Adam and who's not." She took a quick breath and held onto the banister more firmly. "If we want it, we will always be grateful for your advice and opinions ..." She didn't look only at Ben, but also at her father. "... but the final decision will still be up to Adam or me."

She turned to Doc Martin. "Paul, you're welcome to go up if you promise to work together with the shaman and also to take account of his views."

"I'll do that, Bridget ..." He stopped shortly next to her and took her by the arm and spoke to her very softly. "... and you do what I told you." She blinked at him briefly. "Do you take the drops that I gave you?"

"With Koko's tea."

"Fine, then please sit down at the fire. When I'm finished with Adam, I'll have a look at you."

She bit her lip, but said nothing else. Emillia looked at her. Barely noticeably, Bridget shook her head and only on her lips Emillia could read that she didn't want to talk about it now. She went to the armchair by the fireplace, pulled up a stool, and sat down. Her mother put a blanket over her. Then she looked into the fire and didn't know when her eyes actually fell shut.

XXXX

Koko and Bridget sat on the porch in front of the house. The five children played happily at the little spring, and enjoyed the warm April sun like the two women. "You look so thoughtful, Bridget?"

Adam's wife continued to look at the children. "I don't know if I have done the right thing to let them live here."

"However, it has done them both well, and not only them. Otherwise I think we'd never have gotten Winona away from Adam's side. And look, even Sophie is playing now in the small group."

Smiling, Bridget held her cup. "Yes, but she probably doesn't understand a word of what Chesmu tells her. Just as I hardly understand anything lately, if you all talk to each other. ... Koko, I know the boy understands me, and I'm also pleased that he again speaks to all, even if it's in his own language. But I'd like to know what he said on his first evening with us. He repeats it daily when I tuck him in at night."

Koko looked briefly up to Adam's bedroom. They had left the window open to hear, if Adam was to awaken. "He said he wants to live in your house."

Bridget put the cup on the table and turned to Koko. "And that's exactly what I meant, when I just said, whether it was the right decision. We cannot keep them. This isn't their world. They should live with your father or with you. I don't know hardly anything about your culture. How can I tell them something about the Indians? And questions about it will come. Just when Chesmu's in school and he realizes he's different from the other boys."

"Who, if not you, could explain better to them both these two worlds? Believe me, Adam's more familiar with our way of life than I am. I didn't understand even in our school days how he could remember everything my father taught him."

"But I can't just take this decision alone, and Adam won't be in the position the next few weeks that I could talk to him about it seriously. I'm glad if he has the strength to talk to me for more than five minutes."

"Bridget, do you really think that Adam would force them to go back to the village, if they don't want to? Aiyana has already told what happened ..." She reached across the table and held Bridget's hands and looked into her eyes. "... so, do you believe, after Aiyana has helped him and saved his life, and he has kept the two for hours in the cave to protect them, he won't fulfill their wish? The three will never forget what they have experienced. This will always link them together. The question is, can you really imagine that they're going to stay here with you? It won't get easier. You see it with Ben. He accepts the Indians, but still doesn't understand what Adam does. There will be people who will reject and insult you for this."

Bridget pulled her hands away and ran them over her face. "Koko, I cannot think straight at the moment. I'm just tired. "

"You should rest more. You don't have to prove anything to us. We know that you will get along well here in the West."

"Maybe I have to prove it to me again and again?"

Koko knelt before her. "Bridget, now please think of you, too. To you both. I don't want to scare you, but you know why it took Adam so long to find the courage to say you should stay. I cannot say how he would have reacted before the incident with Kajika if something happened to you or the baby. But I know quite well that he would blame himself again at the moment, and what that would do to him, I won't even think about."

She smiled slightly. "Koko, what am I supposed to do? When should I take a rest?"

"Just accept more of our help and sit down more often and simply do nothing. What Doc Martin has told you. Do you take his medicine and drink the tea?"

"Yes."

Koko was about to say something when they heard Rusty barking loudly. Both women looked up at the window at once. The dog stayed in Adam's room only, watching every movement. Only if someone was staying in the room, she slept deeper or left the house. Therefore both knew instantly that something must be up with Adam. Immediately they ran upstairs, Bridget being much slower than Koko. When Bridget came into the room to Koko, she had already turned Adam to the side. So Bridget knelt on the bed behind his back and handed her a towel. "That's because of these leaves. The shaman was here before. Koko, we must tell him that he shall not give Adam any more."

"But they help him to bear the pain. The fact that Doc Martin couldn't put the leg and the arm in plaster because of the wounds will make him double the pain. It's not enough how the shaman fixed the bones. Besides, he's not so uneasy if his fever should rise again."

"No. No more leaves. If the pain is too strong, he can still take the medicine of Doc Martin. But this way he won't get any strength if he vomits the little food he takes because of the leaves."

She gently stroked his hair. His breathing had calmed down again, and he looked at Koko and then at her. "No ... leaves ... please."

Carefully, they turned him on the back. "No, you won't get any more. I promise you."

For a while she looked into his eyes before he closed them again. "We should get the bed fresh before he falls asleep again."

Koko looked at her worried. "Shouldn't we wait for Emillia to be back? She can help me then."

Bridget shook her head energetically. "No. I won't leave him here like this. We'll do it now."

"Alright, but after that you won't do anything more today. The rest of the day we will take care of everything."

With closed eyes she nodded.

XXXXX

Little Joe stood with Jörn in the schoolyard and looked boredly at the schoolhouse. "Jörn, why don't we just skip out of town and go fishing?"

"Oh Joe, it's still not very long and school will end for today. After that, we wanted to go home and look after the fence at the stable."

Loudly Joe blew out air. "Exactly, so I thought we'd just skip everything. The fence can also get fixed another day."

Pretty confused Jörn looked at him. "Tell me Joe, could it be that you want to constantly dodge doing work? I was more concerned about your horses than you yesterday."

"Don't you tell me you have fun doing it?"

"Of course, I can imagine something better, but your father needs every bit of help he can get. Although your brother's already doing much better again, but I don't think he can manage to get back to health right up to the end of the season and the start of the cattle drive."

"Of course he will. There are still four weeks to go. Until then, he sure is his old self again. Adam has never been sick a long time."

Jörn tapped his forehead with his finger. "Tell me, Joe, did you look at your brother once? Sure, he tries everything. But he cannot even sit on a horse for a long time without pain in his leg. And didn't you notice that he still has problems holding a lariat correctly? He certainly won't manage to make it to the cattle dive. He doesn't have the strength."

Joe put his hands in his pockets and looked down. "I just get tired of the constant work. Joe do this, ... Joe do that, ... Joe, can you please."

Quite rudely, his friend pushed him against the shoulder. "How can you be so lazy? Do you really think that a ranch like the Ponderosa runs by itself? You're like my real father. Thinking, all the work is done by others."

Joe pushed him back. "Hey, what's this? I thought you were my friend?"

"I am, but I think you don't know how well you're doing! When my father died, I sometimes had no idea where to get something to eat, and if Yvette hadn't been there, I would certainly have started stealing. I cannot believe you're complaining now because you have more work to do on the ranch. What do you really want to do when we finish school next year? Just sit around? It could also be that your father says you have to stop school this year because your brother cannot use his hand properly anymore."

"Why shouldn't my brother be able to use his hand? He only needs to split more wood and muck out the barn. He gets enough strength from that. He kept telling me that for years."

In bewilderment, Jörn shook his head. "Joe, wake up at last. I've no idea how often the Indian has stabbed your brother's hand, but look at your hand and think what it would look like if you only pushed in a knife once. I don't get everything my dad tells my mother when he comes from Adam. But what I've heard is enough for me to know that he can't get back to the ranch work so quickly."

Joe looked back on the ground. Actually his friend was right. He himself had seen Adam, and how angry he was with himself, because he couldn't manage work as before. Even at home, he had noticed the conversations between his parents that his brother would certainly not be fit to go on the trail. "Sorry, Jörn. I can't tell you why I can never really pull myself up. I want to help, but I just don't enjoy it."

"Do you think it's fun for me to help you all the time? I'd rather spend time with Tammy."

"Tammy? I want to ride to the lake with her on Saturday."

Jörn began to grin. "Nope, not true, is it? Don't tell me you're going out with her too? Did you get too bored with Dianne?"

Embarrassed Joe poked with his foot in the ground. "Well, she ... she's really very young."

Jörn had to grin even more. "Sure, Tammy's as old as we are. Makes more fun, doesn't it?"

"Well, I think it's not so much fun that she goes out with you, too."

"Then there is only one solution, Joe. We ride to your home after school to fuss around with the fence. Then we see what Cochise's up to. Whether he made any progress."

Joe took a deep breath. "All right, you convinced me, but I take care of Cochise. This is my horse, and I want to work him on my own that I'll be able to ride him later. That's what I promised Adam."

They grinned at each other, and the little dispute between them was already forgotten. They turned around as they heard loud screams behind them. "Oh no! This is Riccardo again. He has already got two letters home this week. Come on Jörn, we must stop them before Mr. Conner is aware of it."

"Too late, Joe. There he comes."

Fairly frustrated Joe breathed out. "There'll be trouble at Riccardo's again. His father's in pretty bad mood lately."

"Because of Riccardo?"

"Mmmm, but also because of something else. But I don't know why. He also quite often snaps at Adam. But I don't know what it was about."

They watched Mr. Conner leading Riccardo and the other boy at the arm to the schoolhouse. "Joe, I think our little Riccardo will need a long time to get home again."

XXXXX

Hoss had just left town, when he saw two boys fighting on the road. He didn't need to look twice to recognize Riccardo. He got out of the saddle and grabbed his borther's nephew by the collar and pulled him away from the other boy. "Hey, let go or ..."

Riccardo looked up and saw Hoss. "And you, little feller, ..." Hoss looked angrily at the other boy. "... watch out that you get home, or I'll give you a piece of my mind."

The boy picked up his books and ran away. "And now to you. Why are you doing that? Didn't you get into enough trouble lately?"

"Let go of me, Hoss!"

"Oh no, I'm holding you until you talk to me in a decent tone."

Frederic's son was still twitching, but then he stopped and lowered his head. "Much better. Now tell me what's wrong with you."

Hoss shrank slightly, as Riccardo's head shot up again. "I wish all the Indians were dead!"

Hoss had expected everything, but not such a statement. "Riccardo, you know what you're saying?"

The boy almost shouted at him. "Yes, I know, but then I would finally have my peace."

Now Hoss knelt down, laid his hands on his shoulders and looked at him deadly serious. "Riccardo, you can't really mean that! Not only that my wife is an Indian, and that you went in and out at our home, no, even your closest friends are Indians."

Frederic's son tried to keep looking at him stubbornly, but then his eyes filled with tears and he looked down. "Are you going to tell me now what's really going on? I've noticed for weeks that something's wrong. Even Sarah has already told us. You don't come to her or to us any more, and you haven't been in the village for a long time."

"I must not."

Although Riccardo almost whispered, Hoss understood every word. "Must not what? Go to us and to the village?"

The boy nodded. "I cannot play with Indians anymore."

"Who says that?"

Riccardo still looked down. "My father."

"How so? Because of Adam?"

Riccardo shrugged. "I don't know. There was such a guy from the railway company with us. And both have been quite excited about something. Shortly after my father said I shouldn't go to the Gosiute and also no longer ... " Riccardo's face twisted. Then he looked at Hoss angrily again. "Do you even know how bad that is? At home I'm told that I cannot even go to Uncle Adam, because he wants to adopt Aiyana and Chesmu. In school, I'm constantly beaten up, because half of my family soon consists of Indians. And I don't even understand why everyone has such an anger towards them? If someone was to be angry, then that's probably Uncle Adam. He was detained by Kajika, and not my father or the stupid kids at school."

Hoss' eyes grew big. He had expected that only Adam wouldn't make friends if he kept the two children. But that even his brother-in-law might have a problem with that, he hadn't expected at all. "Have you talked to your father that your friends are important to you?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me about. He thinks I don't understand what it's all about. He just wants to protect me. But that's rubbish! He's only afraid of them because he doesn't know them. He wasn't even in the village until today, and Uncle Adam said what you don't know, you're afraid of."

Hoss looked into the boy's face and realized how angry he himself was getting. Angry at Frederic and angry at the children at school. His thoughts returned to his school days. He had the feeling that Adam was standing in front of him again, who could never believe how others could have such a dislike for the Indians without actually having talked to one. "I'll talk to your father, and I assure you, you will be allowed to play with your friends again."

"Hoss ...?"

Adam's brother could hardly believe it. There stood Riccardo in front of him, who was usually never at a loss for words, but on the contrary, always having a cheeky comment ready, and now looked at him with sad little eyes. "... My father's thinking about leaving. Back to Boston." Frederic's son flung his arms around Hoss' neck and cried. "I don't want to go to Boston. I want to stay here with you."

Hoss put his arms around him and tried to comfort Riccardo. "We'll find a solution. I'm sure, and if not, Adam will talk to your father again."

Riccardo stood back and wiped his tears from his face with his arm. "I don't know whether Uncle Adam and my father are still talking."

"Why shouldn't they? They are friends and partners."

"Because, ... a few days ago, I wanted to go to Winona and the others and went to the house of Aunt Bridget and Uncle Adam, although I wasn't allowed to. Then I heard my father and Uncle Adam arguing in the office. The door to the garden was open, and they were very loud. I've just heard my father say that Uncle Adam should only for once think about the future, then he left. I peeped through the door, and Uncle Adam had a letter in his hand that he kept looking at. Then he crumpled it and threw it on the floor, and then ..." Adam's nephew spoke again very quietly. "... I've never seen Uncle Adam so angry and sad. He suddenly took one of the models of the railway stations and threw it on the wall, then he stood there very quiet and looked at the wall. ... Hoss, ... he was crying ... "

Hoss took a deep breath. He had known that his brother didn't only bother about his injuries, but that there was something else. He and Koko had thought it was due to Bridget, and that he was concerned too much about her and the baby. And then there was Pa, who also wanted to talk him out of this adoption. But just as it looked, there was also a major problem with Frederic and their project. "Did you get a letter from Mr. Conner again today?"

Sniffing Riccardo pulled the letter from his pocket and gave it Hoss. "I'll take care of it. Now ride to Sarah and spend the afternoon with her."

With his mouth open and his eyes wide, the boy looked at him. "But Hoss, I'll get into trouble."

Hoss got up and put his hand on Riccardo's shoulder. "No, you won't, not today. Now hurry, then you'll be there in time for lunch. Tell Ben and Emillia, I'll explain it to them later."

Riccardo took the reins of his horse and mounted. Then he rode as fast as he could to the Ponderosa. Hoss took a deep breath and climbed into the saddle.

XXXXX

Surprised, Frederic opened the door. "Hoss, what brings you here?"

"Take your hat and come with me."

"What?"

Hoss's voice was very determined and Frederic sensed that Adam's brother had no intention of discussing it with him at all. "I told you to take your hat."

Frederic took his hat and followed Hoss to the horses. "I saddled a horse for you. Get up."

"Can't we take the buggy?"

"Get up."

Hoss's appearance was too impressive for Frederic to dare to say something about it. So he climbed into the saddle and rode beside Hoss until they were at the edge of the village of the Gosiute. "Hoss, what do we want here?"

"Tell me what you see, Frederic."

Really annoyed by the whole thing, he muttered to Adam's brother. "What is it, Hoss? I'm not interested in any games."

"Frederic, this isn't a game. If you don't want me to put you on the highest branch I can find, then tell me what you see!"

As Hoss looked at him, Frederic didn't doubt that he was going to do it, and so he looked back into the village. "What am I supposed to see? An Indian village."

"That's all?"

"Yes, what else?"

"Do you know what I see, Frederic? I also see Indians like you, but I see children running around laughing and playing. I can see how next to the tipi beautiful blankets for winter are made. And there I see how some children are taught how to build a canoe. Over there you can see how much they care about their horses. I see life here, Frederic. I see fun here, and I see joy, and now come with me."

Hoss turned his horse and rode on until, after some time, they stopped at an empty place. "Now tell me again, Frederic. What do you see?"

Frederic knew that if he didn't go along with this nonsense, Hoss wouldn't leave him in peace. "Nothing, Hoss. Here's really nothing, or shall I look for the field mice now and count them?"

"You've got no idea where you are. Get off."

"Hoss ..."

Hoss almost shouted at him. "Get off!"

Frederic stood beside his horse and waited. "Not even four months ago this place was filled with life. Like the village of the Gosiute. "

Frederic looked around. "Here? That's not possible. That would have to be seen."

"Yes, you can still see it."

Hoss took a small shovel from his horse. And gave it to Adam's friend. "No ten steps behind you, you can find them. The children who have played here. The women who made blankets, chains and other things. The men who took care of the food. All those who have taken care of the life in the village."

"What are you talking about, Hoss? What should I find?"

"Their corpses, Frederic. The corpses of the whole tribe."

"Tell me, do you just blame me for their death? It was their own fault. If they hadn't resisted, they would still be alive."

Hoss' face was red with anger. "Fault? They were guilty because they had resisted? Then please tell me how a child can resist at the age of Fabio! Can your son already hold a gun? How do the babies resist? The women and the elderly? Do you really have the opinion that they could have defended themselves against the soldiers for long? And then, Frederic, they were simply thrown into that pit. They haven't even been buried according to their tradition."

Frederic looked at the shovel in his hand and then again at the small ridge behind them. As strong as his voice was still seconds before, so low it was now. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, you don't seem to know much. What kind of friend are you? Instead of supporting Adam that he's taking the only survivors of this massacre, you won't allow your son to continue playing with them. How should such a thing be prevented in future, if people like you don't explain to their children what happened, but only express bans without sense or reason. Kids don't ask where someone comes from. They don't care. They're happy that they have a friend with whom they can play. But I guess you don't know what friendship means ..." Hoss tapped his chest. "Do you really know what your best friend has suffered here? Have you ever asked him about it? I think not. You were too busy to plan your escape from this wild land. I can tell you what real friendship is. The friendship between Koko and Adam. It's been holding up for so many years now, and I've never ever noticed Adam having to question it. No matter what happened. And you can believe me, a lot has happened in those years, which has put this friendship on a hard trial. He always stood by her, no matter what others have said. For this friendship with Koko and the Gosiute he was ready to die, Frederic. To die! Could you do something like that? No. You're too cowardly, like all the others. You only brag about. And are ready to condemn all Indians. The only one who has the right to be angry with them at the moment is Adam. But what does your friend do? Does he condemn them? Does he give up a long-lasting friendship? No. He takes the children with him and even picks up an argument with his father again." Hoss looked around. "I've got to leave. I feel so sick when I think of what happened here. And you Frederic, you should think about it. Not every Indian is evil, and not every White Man is good."

Adam's brother mounted and rode away. Frederic stood in the middle of the empty square, as Hoss' words still echoed in his ear. He suddenly shivered, and his eyes wandered through the former village. Only now he noticed how quiet it was here. It seemed as if not even a single animal had stayed here. He dropped the shovel and looked at his hands. Briefly he had the feeling as if they were stained with blood. The place became increasingly menacing, and he was dealing with fear. When he heard a sound behind him, he uttered a small scream and ran to his horse to ride home at full gallop.

XXXX

Adam sat on the bench behind the house and played his guitar. Again and again, he interrupted the playing to open and close his left hand. He looked up at the mountains. "I notice that. You'd like to ride on your mountain."

Bridget sat down beside him on the bench.

"Yes, but I also know that I can't make it yet. It's too far away."

"So why don't you talk to me then? I can see that something depresses you and that's not just your impatience."

Adam looked at his hand and closed it into a fist. Without looking at her, he replied. "In four weeks I must be able to move properly again and have strength in my hand so I can join the cattle drive."

She noticed very well that he had evaded her question. Otherwise he would have looked at her. "Why this hurry? Hoss joins the cattle drive. Nobody expects you to lend a hand with these injuries. Do you really think that it escaped our attention how strong your pain still is?"

"I'll make it."

She couldn't hide that she was getting angry. "Adam, stop it!"

He put his guitar aside and stood up. "What am I supposed to stop? To believe that I'm going to make it?"

"No, I don't doubt that you're trying with all of your might to be well in time. You shall stop to build a wall around you again."

Bridget could almost see, as he was holding his breath. His cheek twitched and his eyes darkened. "Why don't you tell me what's been bothering you lately that you barely sleep at night?"

He gritted his teeth and clenched his hand. "Progress is too slow for me."

"This isn't the reason, Adam. You don't tell me the truth."

She stood up now, as well, and could no longer restrain her rage. "Are we back where we've been in the past few years? Have you been able to pull yourself together in the last few months because you knew that I wouldn't come back?"

He wanted to touch her arm, but she pulled it away. "Bridget, please don't be so upset."

"I shouldn't be upset? Then tell me why I have the feeling that you absolutely want to go on this cattle drive. No matter how you feel. Why aren't you glad that this way you're surely at home at the birth of our child?"

Again, she could only see the twitch of his cheek. "You don't want to be here when it's time. You hope that it only comes when you are already on the way."

He turned away and looked to the mountains. "I cannot help you anyway."

She closed her eyes and tried not to get upset even more. She had already worked too much again and had had problems all day. Even the medicine and tea from Koko didn't help any more. "Turn around, Adam, and tell me now what's wrong with you."

With his hand, he slammed lightly against the wooden post, but didn't turn around. "I think I'll fix everything for the night. We can talk about it tomorrow."

"NO!"

She shouted at him now. "We're talking about it now."

Angrily, he turned around, and just as he was about to answer her, he saw how she grew pale and grabbed her belly. With one step he was with her.

"Bridget, ..."

"You should get Paul."

She clung onto his arm.

XXXXX

His hands were on the banister, and he had his head down. Koko stood next to him and laid her hand on his back. "Adam, she'll make it. She's stronger than you think."

He didn't lift his head. "It's too early, Koko."

"If the baby's strong, it'll make it."

He turned his head slightly to her. "I'm to blame. I tried to keep everything away from her and it still happened."

"No, Adam, you're not to blame."

Adam straightened, looked briefly at the top, then back at her. "Of course, I am. If I hadn't been riding with Riccardo, it wouldn't have happened."

"Adam, Kajika wanted you. You just accelerated it. He would certainly have bushwacked you somewhere that weekend. And Bridget had problems with the pregnancy right from the start." He looked at her questioningly. "We didn't tell you deliberately, because we knew that you would be even more concerned about as you've already been anyway."

His hand lay on the chain, and he tried to remain calm. "What didn't you tell me?"

Koko looked briefly at Hoss, who was standing by the fireplace. "When you were out in spring to get the cattle from the high pasture, she almost lost the child. You had just left when it happened. She had to stay in bed until you came back, and then she needed to take it easy and don't work so much."

Koko knew what was going to happen. Too well she knew the flashing in his eyes, but as it came then, she hadn't expected. The last time he'd shouted at her this way was when Ben had disappeared, and he'd just received that short letter from him.

"Yes, I'm not to blame! I didn't want that! I wouldn't have to stand here and worry! I could sit outside and look at the mountains, but you had to tell me for years that I should allow these damn feelings! I should tear down the wall, but I knew all the time that exactly this was going to happen. From now on, you'll all get out of my life!"

He looked into the round and everyone in the room received a bad glare. Then he left his house and slammed the door shut. Clement looked at Ben questioningly and Cholette at Emillia.

"Hoss ...?"

Adam's brother nodded to his wife and followed Adam outside. He hadn't come far. Adam leaned against the fence and tried to calm himself. "That wasn't fair, and you know that."

Adams head snapped around, and his voice wasn't much quieter than just in the house. "I wasn't fair? What have you done? To tell me nothing about it, was that fair?"

"Yes, big brother, I know you're worried, but I don't think that's the reason why you're so angry at everything and everyone. It was just a good occasion for you to vent your anger, but ..." He pointed to Adam. "... something quite different has been seething in you for weeks."

With full force Adam struck his fist on the fence. "Hoss, I don't know what to do. I have to get rid of this anger, this rage in me, and I don't know how. I was just about to ride into town and pick a fight with Mitch. "

Hoss pushed his brother away. "Then vent it on me."

"Sure, I'm starting a fight with you now."

He pushed Adam back a few steps. "Why not? If it's gonna help you?"

Again a push against the arm. "Hoss, stop it!"

"No, why? Perhaps today I feel like having a good fight."

Adam still looked at him, but then had already felt Hoss' fist. So it wasn't long, and both rolled on the ground. After a while, Hoss got his brother in a headlock. "And, do you feel any better? And will you tell me what's going on?"

Adam still struggled a bit, but then eased his body tension, and lay down on his back on the ground, as Hoss released him. "Hoss, what's going on with us right now? Have we all gone crazy somehow?"

Hoss sat next to him. "But you ain't talking about our family?"

Adam sat up and grinned at his brother. "It's always been crazy. That's nothing new." His face and gaze grew serious again. "No, Hoss, I mean this war, which is raging between the Indians and us. All the attacks on the farmers, treks and the railroad. I've stopped reading the newspaper and counting how many have already lost their lives."

"Adam, you also know that it's the response of the Indians to the fact that at the moment tribes are driven out everywhere in the country and, as for Kajika, one or the other was simply obliterated."

Adam put his hands to his face. "Hoss, I know that. I know that very well, and I'm in the middle of it, and I have no idea what to do." He breathed into his hands. "... yes, I know actually what I have to do, but ... "

Adam didn't continue. Hoss put his arm around his brother. "What is? Come on, talk."

"I can't work with Frederic at the stations anymore. I can no longer work for the railroad, and I know for sure that he can't understand again why this is so."

"Have you quarreled about it? Riccardo noticed it and told me."

"Hoss, do you know why Kajika should leave his land?" Hoss shook his head. "Because the railroad buys land everywhere. Even the land of Kajika was among it because they want to connect with Virginia City."

"It won't work. What use is this part of the land to them? They'd never reach town and Pa certainly won't sell some of our land to the railroad company, or did he?"

Hoss looked horrified at him.

"No, he didn't, but one day after you brought me home, a letter from Mr. Sundberg came up asking if I was willing to sell my land. And I should decide quickly because the army was still nearby and Amarok could be resettled instantly with his tribe." Adam breathed again into his hands. "Of course, I didn't react to the letter when I was back on my feet again. I then received a telegram from Mr. Sundberg, telling me, if it was the price, we still could negotiate. Then the good man went to Frederic and talked to him that it would only depend on me if Virginia City couldn't get a connection with the railroad. Frederic had no idea which land was concerned. Sundberg didn't tell him about Amarok, and so Frederic stood in my office and shouted at me asking why I didn't take the offer. We're having so much land, and whether I would start again to oppose any progress. He didn't want to listen to me when I asked him if he knew what was going on with the Indians. His answer was, that I'm not to think of them, but to the future of this land." He turned back to his brother. "Tell me, Hoss, what should I do? I knew when I was really arguing with Frederic telling him that I'd get out, what might happen between us. I saw how badly Bridget felt, and how much work she had with Aiyana, Chesmu and me. Should I burden her in addition?"

"You could have talked with me or with Koko."

"Yes, I could have Hoss, but it was easier to build a wall again."

Hoss got up and pulled up his brother. "Come on. I know what will help you now."

As they walked back, he told him what to do, and so Adam went to Koko right away as he had entered his the house. Took her face in his hands and put his forehead against hers. „Émičiktuŋža yo?"

They continued to talk in the language of the Gosiute. "Of course I forgive you."

"Are you coming with me outside to the bench? I need you."

Her eyes wandered to Hoss, who nodded slightly. "Yes. I'm there for you."

He gave her a small kiss on the lips, put his arm around her and walked with her behind the house. With stunned gaze Clement watched him. "Ben, could you please explain to me what happened here? My daughter is up there and noone knows how she or the baby is, and my son-in-law kisses another woman?"

Ben also took a deep breath. "Clement, even for me, the relationship between Koko and Adam isn't always easy to understand, but I'll try to explain it to you."

XXXX

With bright eyes and a tender look, Adam watched Bridget. "You can stop grinning."

With feigned indignation he opened his eyes widely. "I'm not grinning. I'm looking at you tenderly."

"I can indeed be fortunate that you look at me sometimes and not only at your daughter. She's not even a day old, and you don't let her out of sight. I see you will spoil her too much."

"Are you jealous?"

She pulled a small pout. "A mite."

He leaned forward and gave her a kiss. "I love you, Bridget, and I'm sorry about what you had to go through in the last few months. Of course I won't join the cattle drive. I'll stay here with you."

She stroked his arm. "Please promise not to lock yourself again. That you will talk to me. No matter what it is."

"I'll continue working on it to ensure that it doesn't happen again. If so, you and Koko will tell me the right words. "

With a smile he touched her lips and kissed her gently and long. "Tell me the truth, why are you staying here? Because of your little princess or me?"

With a cheeky grin he bit his lips.

"From that look no good can come, whatever I say."

"You've just given our daughter her Indian name."

"I did not. She will be called Emilie and not otherwise."

He pulled off his shoes and lay down on her bed. "Earlier you said, she's such a calm soul and now also princess. I can't help it. The Gosiute would give her the name Neisha."

"We're here at the Cartwright's."

He snuggled up to her. "Shouldn't you always listen to your husband?"

"I'll forget that as soon as the shaman wants to give you leaves again."

They looked tenderly into each others eyes, then he took her in his arms and held her tight until Emillie began to cry loudly.


	73. Chapter 73

Adam was just coming out of the barn, and with a look of surprise, he stood at the door of the dining room. „Wynono tókhel aníyaŋpa he?" It echoed loudly at him.

"I'm fine and the way it looks, you all, too. Winona, ... Riccardo, what are you doing here so early?"

Riccardo leaned half over the table and took a piece of bread. "We arranged yesterday that we will all have breakfast here today and then ride to the village later. ... Uncle Adam, can I have more milk?"

Aiyana took the jug from Riccardo and held it to Adam. Still slightly stunned, he took the jug and returned a short time later with it refilled. He sat down at the table and looked at the five children. "Winona, do Pa and Ma know you're at ours with Sophie?"

"Hmmm, I'm meant to tell you from Pa, he'd like to talk to you this afternoon."

"And I should tell you that my parents come with Fabio afterwards, too. Dad wants to discuss something with you, and Ma and Aunt Bridget want to go to see Koko later."

Chesmu raised his arms and shouted loudly "cake".

"Uncle Adam, can you still practice with me during the holidays, so I can catch a calf correctly to brand it?"

"Promise. I just need to see what Ben wants from me. Then I'll tell you when we can get started."

"Wynono, do I really have to go to school after the holidays?"

Aiyana looked at him a little anxiously. Adam first looked at Chesmu and then at her. "Aiyana, you two have decided that you want to live with us. That means you have to go to school. But you don't need to be afraid. Riccardo and Little Joe are also there."

The Indian girl looked at Sarah. "Wynono, can't I go to school already? Then I could help Aiyana. I can read and write already."

"Sunshine, I don't get to decide that."

"But Bridget said I could already go this year."

"Are you talking about me?"

Bridget had entered the dining room. Before she sat down, she gave Adam a kiss.

„Bridget, wayáwa."

"I know you don't even notice how you're talking, but I still can't understand everything. Not only that I don't know all the words, but you're even talking too fast."

Adam leaned over and looked into Bridget's eyes. "Thečhíȟila kštó."

The children began to giggle, and Bridget blushed slightly. "That I understood."

She pushed him lightly against the shoulder, but smiled at him. "Well, Winona, what do you want from me?"

"You said I could go to school this year, but Wynono won't believe me. Then Aiyana wouldn't be so alone."

"My sweet sunshine, I didn't say I didn't believe you, I just said I couldn't decide. You have to ask Pa, not me, and furthermore, Aiyana isn't alone. Riccardo's with her."

"But Pa's listening to what you say. Please, Wynono ... "

Adam leaned back and grinned at her. "Could it be that you think you're not so alone then?"

Sarah looked at Aiyana. "Please, Wynono ..."

„Philáičʼiya até…."

Adam looked at Aiyana. As it looked, it meant a lot to Aiyana that Sarah could go to school after summer, as she had addressed him as father for the first time. His eyes wandered to Bridget, who gave him an encouraging nod. "All right, I'll talk to Pa this afternoon."

The children looked at each other with a loud hurray. With his hand before his mouth, Adam looked at his wife. "Did you put this idea into their heads? This will result in a big discussion with my father."

"Would you like some coffee, mon chéri?"

She held the can out to Adam and tried to look at him as seriously as possible.

XXXX

Frederic knocked at the open door to the garden. Adam sat at his desk and raised his head. Then he leaned back and looked at his friend. They hadn't spoken to each other since the birth of Emilie, and that was almost two months ago. This conversation, however, had to take place at last. Work on the railway in Reno would soon be completed and would then go on to California. "May I come in, or are you no longer talking to me?

Adam didn't stand up. "Come in."

Carefully, Frederic entered the office and looked into the corner where the models of the railway stations used to be. "Have you burnt them all already?"

"No, I gave them to the children. I don't need them anymore."

His wife's brother sat down in the chair opposite. "So you're determined not to work for the railroad anymore?"

Adam had folded his hands and his expression was unemotional. "It's out of the question for me, I won't lift a finger for the railroad."

Frederic leaned on the desk. "What do you want to do? Not travel by rail in future?"

Adam didn't move. Only those who knew him well saw the short flashing in his eyes. "Do you think it's appropriate to be cynical about this subject?"

"Adam, you just destroyed the work of four years. Are you aware of this? And I haven't even started to talk about the financial loss."

"Frederic, did you understand a single word of what Hoss told and showed you?"

Embarrassed, Frederic sat down again. "How do you imagine the future of our company? I've got a family to take care of and I don' t have a great ranch in reserve. For me the whole thing wasn't just a pastime."

"You know my attitude to life and to nature. If you want to continue, I certainly won't stop you, but I won't help you either or even give any advice. The expansion of the railway won't be an issue here in this house any longer."

"You needn't snap as me. You just ask from me that I look at my work as a big mistake."

Adam got up and went to the window to look at the mountains. He took a deep breath. If he abandoned himself to the rage now, they wouldn't end this important conversation in peace. He clenched his left hand into a fist and put his right hand over it. No matter how he would do next month, he would have to go to the mountain for a few days. The conversations with Koko and her father didn't help any longer. Adam felt how fast the wrong wolf showed up at the moment. When he had regained some of his inner calm, he turned to Frederic again. "Frederic, not only the parents of my children were killed because of all this madness, no, even hundreds of other people lost their lives, so the railroad can build a connection between the coastal towns. And I'm not only talking about the Indians."

"They aren't your children. They are only…"

Frederic looked slightly pale at Adam's face, who had grabbed him by the collar in a split second and pulled him out of the chair. "If you still want to be a welcome guest and friend in my house, be sure to consider your next words carefully."

Frederic raised his hands. "Sorry Adam, I ..." Adam let go of his friend and went back to the window. "... I ..." Frederic had to take a quick breath. Adam's reaction had been too surprising for him. "... the whole thing doesn't leave me cold either, but I ..." He now joined his friend at the window. "Adam, I haven't got that strength, as you have, to put me against everything and everyone."

Adam's gaze was directed toward the mountains. "What's the matter with you? Since your father's been here, you remind me of the Frederic of the first years in Boston."

Frederic leaned his back against the window. "Giovanna has also accused me of this. You can believe me that I had to listen to a lot when I forbade Riccardo to continue playing with the others. "

"Does he have so much influence on you again?"

He pushed away from the window and paced through Adam's office. "I have no idea why this is so. Perhaps because he's so often with us at home. Of course, we talk about the railroad project, and now and then I feel like a little boy who has to do everything his father tells him."

"Frederic, that's nothing but a welcome excuse for you. It doesn't explain why you have something against the Indians and thus also against my family."

It took a while for Frederic to give him an answer. "I ... I'm afraid of them. I ... Adam, I can't understand that you see them as your friends and even adopt the two children after what that Indian did to you."

Adam turned around. His eyes looked as grim as a few minutes ago. "You're going to tell me now, you're afraid of children and of Koko?"

"Of course not, and you know exactly what I mean."

"Stop it, Frederic! If you had a real interest in the Indians, you would have come with us, but you didn't. I think you haven't even visited Koko at home till this very day. Do you know what I told you in Boston then, what are the three worst evils?"

"Adam, ...!"

Frederic had gone back a step, because Adam was approaching him close again. "Of course you don't remember. The three worst evils are stupidity, laziness, and cowardice. You are so stupid to hear what people such as Mitch are saying while roaming around in the street. You are too lazy to form your own opinion, and the more serious is that you are too cowardly to get to know them better. I don't expect any of my family or friends to accept the way of life of the Indians like I do, but what I expect from them is that they treat the Indians with respect. I don't condemn every white man, because among us there are some who don't always hold on to law and order either."

Frederic looked at him with wide eyes. Rarely had he seen Adam so angrily, and certainly not at him. So he spoke very softly to him now. He was shocked by what had just happened between them. "Adam, ... I don't want our friendship to end. I don't want it to end at all."

"Then start to understand me. I cannot work for a company that doesn't care that people are dying to only push forward a project. I also know that we need the railroad, and that it isn't to be stopped, but I won't and can't continue to be a part of it. How should I explain to my children later that I have continued, although I knew how high the price was? And Frederic, ..." Again Adam was close to him. "... I cannot be your friend any longer if you do not accept Aiyana and Chesmu as my children. They will soon bear the name Cartwright. It's just a formality, and then you are the uncle of the two."

Frederic took a deep breath and dropped into the chair, put his hand to his forehead, and looked desperately at Adam. "Do you know how much our penalty will be, and what it could mean for our company? Adam, who's going to give us an order?"

Adam walked around his desk and opened a drawer, pulled out some papers and handed them to Frederic. "I don't worry about that. I get at least one request from the environs every month, although it's known how I feel about the Indians, and the inquiries go to me personally, Frederic, and not to our company. I'm going to talk to Mr. Sundberg personally about the contractual penalty. I think the last word hasn't been spoken about the amount yet."

Frederic flicked through the papers and exhaled loudly with Adam standing with arms crossed beside him. "But Frederic, I don't think that's just the biggest problem."

"Yes I know. Again I have taken everything for granted. It should have been clear to me instantly that there was more to it why you didn't want to sell the land to the railway. I know you'll never care about the money."

Frederic stood up again and went through the office. "Adam, I've nothing against the Indians, and I admire you for your courage to adopt the two because it won't get easier for you all." He stopped at the desk. "I once told you I never want to go to the West. Now I've been here for a few years, and still I haven't gotten used to life here. Adam, up to now I wasn't only never at Koko's, but also in no saloon. I'm still afraid to be shot every minute. With your mentality, I just can't cope." He looked slightly embarrassed. "Do you know how I felt when Riccardo stood in front of me and yelled at me that I was a coward, and he wouldn't go back to Boston? That he'll stay with you and Bridget then?" He now looked at Adam. "I'm not as brave as you. I've never been, and I'll never be. I would never have endured these two days, and just the thought of what you've been through, leaves me cringing. I'd like to pack my bags and get out of here, but I also know that it would be just another escape."

"Frederic, noone does force you to live here. Noone does force you to give up the train project. You should only start again to make your own decisions. I won't tell you what to do. I don't want you to reproach me in a few years that you have not achieved what you wanted because I pushed you in a certain direction. But you knew how I lived, and how my attitude to certain things was, when you asked me whether I would join the company or not." Adam ran his hand over his forehead. "My friendship with you is also important to me, and I would be sorry if we split up in a dispute." He looked at his friend firmly. "You decided last year to stay here. What were your reasons for this? Did you just give way to Giovanna?"

Frederic went to the window and looked at the summer landscape. "I'm torn. I like to wake up in the morning to see this landscape. I like this peace that I can have here. I love it when the whole family gets together on weekends, and my heart is glad when I see how happy Riccardo is here ..." He grinned slightly, then looked at Adam. "... and I no longer have to be the hero and cowboy in his eyes. This part you've now taken over. Adam, I often lack the courage to go one step further, though I know it's the right one. I'm afraid of what will come after that." Adam crossed his arms and put a hand in front of his eyes. "Adam, will we get new orders? If not, how should I make ends meet for my family?"

Adam took his hand from his eyes. "You should take one step after another, Frederic. The first should be, to consider whether you want to really stay here. With everything that goes along with it. It will probably never be mentioned in history books that you have contributed to the construction of the railroad in the West, but you won't have to go hungry. We'll continue to receive orders. I'm sure of."

Frederic turned back to the window and looked out. Only after a while he spoke again with Adam. "I'll let you know tomorrow. I have to think about many things first. "

"Do that."

Frederic didn't look to Adam again, but left the office.

XXXXX

Tired, he stood in the kitchen. He had wrapped a cold cloth around his left hand, and with the right hand he was massaging the hand closed to a fist. "Have you worked too much again?"

Bridget took his hand and carefully unwinded the cloth. "You should massage the palm of your hand. Did you cream it with the paste of the shaman?"

Adam shook his head. "I just got back."

Bridget took the cream and rubbed some of it on the palm of his hand and began to massage it. "Tell me what you've done, that it's so swollen again."

He didn't look into her eyes. "I tried to break a horse."

She paused and looked at him angrily. "How many times do you need to be thrown, till you understand that you're not ready yet?"

"Isn't it enough if I say, I have realized that I still need time?"

"Why are you doing this? Why do you exaggerate it again? Tomorrow you'll hardly be able to walk again. Apart from the fact that you could have got seriously hurt."

She began again to massage his hand and she glared at him again angrily. "That makes me angry, Adam. How can you think that you can break a wild horse if you still have no real feeling in your hand and your leg doesn't have the strength as before?"

He looked at his hand as Bridget massaged it. "I had to get rid of a little of my impatience. I'm sorry. It was stupid. I know it."

She let go of him and wiped her hand. Then she laid her hands on his chest. "Adam, I just don't want your impatience to cost you your life. The shaman has told you that this year you surely won't get so well that you can properly work on the ranch."

Adam ran his fingers over his eyes. Then he put his arms around her and pulled her close. "I'll have more patience. Promise."

Bridget put her hand on his cheek. "You look so tired."

"I am. I talked to your brother earlier about how to go on with the company. And now I have to go to my father and I've got no idea what he wants from me."

"You don't even rest. You sleep very restlessly and not enough. Since you were able to get up, you try with all your strength to become your old self again, and your decision not to work for the railroad any more is preoccupying you. Do you want me to tell you more about what's going on in your head?"

"No."

He held her tighter and rested his chin on her head. "I can't find my inner peace at the moment, and I've got the feeling that I always need to justify why I don't want to work for the railroad any more and why I look at Aiyana and Chesmu as our children."

"I know you don't manage to go on your mountain, but why not spend the next weekend in the village? Amarok surely won't mind and you might get some rest."

He let go of her and ran his hand over his face. "But I wouldn't like to leave you alone now."

"Adam, we're talking about only three days. And at the weekend the whole family is together. But I think you just have to get out. Away from the ranch. Away from Frederic and the railway. Away from your father. Just try to calm down in the village and think about something else. There surely noone will ask you what your future looks like."

With small eyes he looked at her and then kissed her. "I love you, Bridget, and I don't know where you get your patience with me."

She smiled at him and put her hands back on his chest. "Because I love you, from the first moment I saw you in our house. Because you're a wonderful person, and I admire you for how you fight for your convictions, even if you don't always make friends with it. And I know what that means."

They looked deep into each others eyes, then he kissed her. When he closed his eyes, he was sure that he could hear their hearts beat again in the same rhythm. He pulled away from her and looked at her for a few minutes just silently. Then he took his hat, put it on, and his eyes couldn't express more love for her.

"Then I'll go to my father to see what he wants from me."

XXXX

He took a deep breath and opened the door. His father sat at the desk. As he raised his head and looked at Adam, he noticed immediately that his father's mood wasn't very good. "You wanted to talk to me?"

Adam went to the desk and waited. His father settled himself in his chair and looked at him. "I wanted to discuss with you what's going on with the timber that we plan to transport to England next month. Are you able to ride to the camp, or should I take over?"

Adam was sure this wasn't the only reason his father was badly tempered. "If there's still time until next week, I can take over."

"Good."

"And?"

Ben's eyes went very small. "And what?"

"I see you've been angry about something and I could bet it's got to do with me."

Ben got up and joined him. "Yes, it has to do with you and your decisions which sometimes require a bit of getting used to."

Already quite annoyed, Adam hung his head. "Pa, you're not going to reproach me for skipping this project?"

"No, that's your business. I won't interfere."

His father didn't go on, but just looked at him. Adam put his hand to his eyes, then put his hands akimbo. "And, where are you going to interfere?"

"You don't need to make fun because I think it's not funny when my wife comes home and is pretty shocked about the fact that we're not welcome at the home of some people."

Adam took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. He tried, as so often today, to find his inner peace. With only moderate success. "And, am I to blame?"

"You and your decision to adopt Aiyana and Chesmu. Have you just thought for a second what that means to the children and all of us? You don't have the official papers yet, and the first of our friends don't want to have anything to do with us anymore."

As Ben had spoken, Adam had lowered his head. Now he looked his father straight in the eye. Slowly he crossed his arms without turning his eyes away. "Then they're probably no true friends."

Ben's voice could no longer hide his anger, which he had at Adam. "As always, you take it very easy, son. Whoever isn't of your opinion will be quickly branded by you."

Adam spoke very softly as he let his arms down. "You think it's easy for me?"

"Yes, that's what I think."

"So you think it was easy for me to argue and fight with the other kids during all my school days because I saw Koko as my girlfriend? Because I stood by her, no matter what others said or thought? I took it easy that you left after Marie's death, and I had to deal with the people to continue the ranch? I've had it easy to get my own way against Clement in Boston because I didn't agree with him? I just made it easy to swim against the current because I've been supporting Amarok's tribe? I took it easy when Kajika wanted to break my will? I took it easy to risk the friendship with my best friend because I cannot continue to work for the railroad? And, of course, I'm now making it easy for me to adopt Aiyana and Chesmu ... " Adam had to take a brief breath and exhort himself to calm down. "... Do you really think I don't see the problems that will come to us and the children? But I decided to stand by my friendship with Koko then. I've decided to go a way in my life that's not easy. I'm proud of every little bit that I can make without being broken. I'm proud and happy that I have a woman at my side who accompanies and supports me on this way. I hope that I can give some of my beliefs and strength I have to my children. And now you're telling me, Pa, that I make it easy for me, that I stick to my convictions?"

Ben didn't know what to say, and Adam continued. "And Pa, I can prepare you for going on on this way, even if it means that the next trouble is already ahead. I received a letter last week, which says how great the enthusiasm is, that I want to adopt two Indian children, and that this request is being processed as quickly as possible, so I will get the official papers during the current month. I've read the letter several times because I've been wondering about the unfamiliar kindness towards the Indians, but in a second letter which I received a day later, I also knew why it was. It was a letter in which I was told how to prepare the two for life. They need to go to a state school and not to a school in a reservation. I mustn't tell them about their culture or their way of life, and in no case can I let them speak in their own language. Only this way it is ensured that they become decent adults later. They will inform the local Sheriff of the adoption, who will then check whether I adhere to these rules. And now I ask you again. Do I make it easy again? Since I won't certainly be mindful of keeping up with these stupid rules, it will mean that I must also face my other best friend if he should go against me." Adam didn't wait to see whether his father gave him an answer or not. He was too tired of the constant discussions about his decisions of the last few months. "And you get upset because you're not invited to the next birthday party."

Ben sat on the edge of his desk. "I've done it again. I haven't seen again what this means to you. Adam, why for heaven's sake are you doing this to you?"

"They are our family, Pa. Koko is your daughter-in-law. Travis is your grandson. You've been living with the Gosiute for as long as I do. Don't tell me their destiny doesn't matter to you!"

"No, of course not." Ben put his hand to his forehead. "Sorry, Adam. As so often, I haven't looked further than my boot tips. I just got so angry about the Burtons. For years, we had been invited to their summer festival, and today Emilia had to learn in town, that we're not welcome, because it's unacceptable for the other guests if we might bring our grandchildren."

"Are you dependent on such friends, Pa?"

Ben closed his eyes and smiled slightly. "No. Certainly not, but I think these won't be the last ones. If Aiyana goes to school, it will get worse. Adam, do you think she'll cope with it?"

"She will. She's a very self-confident girl and she's not alone in school."

"Yes you're right. She still has Little Joe and Riccardo by her side."

Adam scratched his chin briefly and then tried to look at his father as uninvolved as possible. "And Winona."

"Sarah? Yes, starting next year, she'll then be with her."

"She could go to school with the others this year. Bridget also agrees that she's already ready."

"I don't know, Adam. She's only five."

"Yes, but she can already read and write, and I think if we leave the three together, then it won't be so hard for Aiyana, and even Riccardo will have an easier time."

Ben got up and stood at the railing. "I'll talk to Emillia about it. I'm not sure if it's such a good idea."

"Do that, and I'm going to go check on Joe, how he's doing with Cochise."

Before he took his hat, Ben held him by the arm. "Adam, you look tired. Please, take a break. You have difficult weeks behind you. Don't overdo it again. "

"I won't. The day after tomorrow I'll go to the village for a few days. After that, I will certainly feel better."

XXXX

To his own surprise the days in the village had done Adam well. Amarok and he had rode with a few other warriors to the lake and had tried together to catch fish with their hands for the evening. Even if Adam had caught the fewest fish by far, it had been a relaxing afternoon for him. Already the first night he had slept so well, as he hadn't done for a long time, although he wasn't sure whether Aponi had prepared him some of her special teas in the evening. The next day, he helped Amarok build a canoe, which they then rowed along the creek from late afternoon to sunset. So he was quite recovered when on Monday he stood with Riccardo at the paddock to show him how to capture a calf in no time and to bring it to the ground. Adam had to grin when he saw how grim Riccardo tried to do all he had told him, and he thought that if Joe had only a part of that ambition he wouldn't have to worry about his brother next spring. Again and again they practiced how Riccardo had to throw the lariat to catch the calf best.

"Adam, ...!"

Adam turned to the fence of the paddock. There stood Clement and waved him over. He put the lariat into Riccardo's hand and climbed over the fence to look questioningly at his father-in-law. "Adam, since I've known you, you've always known what you wanted, and you've always been faithful throughout the years. But now I think you've gone too far."

Adam took off the gloves and put them under his belt. "Can you really not understand my decision?"

"It's not just about you, Adam. How can you ask Frederic to give up this great project just because you see something that noone else sees?"

"I ask nothing of Frederic. He could have done it without me. But he also realized that the price is too high."

"And what is it this time that doesn't suit you?"

Stunned Adam looked at him. "Clement, don't you see what's going on in our country?"

"Adam, you don't want to talk to me about the problem with the Indians now?"

Adam laughed. "And I really thought you'd changed, but you're as narrow-minded as in Boston."

Seriously, Clement looked at him. "You didn't really give up the project because of the Indians?"

"Clement, why don't you just go back to Boston? Then you don't need to be getting worked up about me or the Indians, and most importantly, noone would see you with your grandchildren in the street, when you pick them up from school, and you needn't feel ashamed of them."

Totally dumbfounded, he looked at Adam. "Grandpa, don't you like me?"

Riccardo had climbed the fence and looked at his grandfather with wide eyes. Clement looked from Adam to his grandson. "Of course, I love you."

"And the others not?"

Adam crossed his arms and was curious to see what Clement would say to Riccardo. "Fabio and Emilie won't go to school until in a few years."

"Aiyana will go to school after the holidays with Riccardo and Winona."

Adam fixed his father-in-law when he took a deep breath.

"You only get trouble with it."

"We can live with that."

Clement took a step toward Adam and tapped him against his chest. "If something happens to my daughter, because you think you have to prove something to anyone here, then may God have mercy on you."

Adam clenched his teeth and lowered his arms. "I wonder what happened in your past that you completely forget how you grew up ..." Now Adam was tapping Clement's chest. "... even if you'll certainly deny it, there must have been someone who believed in you in your life. Helped you to achieve what you have achieved. And to this someone it did apparently not matter that you were just an ordinary worker. He saw you as a human being. Too bad you forgot that."

Clement looked at Riccardo again, turned around and went to the Ponderosa. "Uncle Adam, is Grandpa angry with us?"

Adam closed his eyes, but failed to concentrate on his heartbeat. For a moment, he wondered if it was really worth it. But then he opened his eyes and looked at Riccardo, who was still sitting on the fence, and he knew that he would continue on this path. Only this way could he contribute something that would change the relationship between the settlers and the Indians. "Not with you. Only with me."

"Why? Because of Aiyana and Chesmu? "

Adam turned to Frederic's son at the fence. Even if he had tried to keep them out of it, it was clear that the kids had noticed with time that not everyone was excited about Bridget and him having taken the two into their home.

"Do you remember what I told you, about the fear?" Riccardo nodded. "Riccardo, it's so important that you stay the way you are. Continue to be so free and become no prisoner of preconceived ideas. This only brings along confusion and misfortune. And the most important thing is that you don't simply judge whether something is good or bad without first questioning your heart ... " He stood right in front of Riccardo. "... If school starts again in a few days, it won't be easy for Aiyana and unfortunately not for you. But if it gets too bad, Riccardo, don't be afraid to come to me. I'll try then to find a solution."

Looking at the lariat, Riccardo turned it in his hand. "I'm more afraid that I will bring home one letter after another." He looked up again. "Uncle Adam, how did you do that when you were at school? Have you ever been fighting with the other guys every day because of Koko?"

"No, ... I tried to not get provoked, and there wasn't trouble every day because Koko and I were friends."

"I can't do it. If someone says something nasty about the Gosiute, or that I play with the children of the village, I can't hold back my anger and now my cousin will go to school with me. I cannot look away when she gets teased."

Adam took a deep breath and smiled a little. "Yes, you've got the temper of your mother. It's not easy to control the anger, but you don't help Aiyana or Winona, let alone yourself. Try to turn your anger into the song of victory over yourself. Show the others that Aiyana's just as much a kid as everyone else. Take away the fear of the unknown."

Riccardo glanced at him with big eyes. "With you it always sounds so easy, but I wonder if I can do that ...?"

Laughing, Adam laid his hand on Riccardo's shoulder. "You won't believe it, Riccardo, I said the same to Amarok once. But as you can see, Koko and I made it through school time ..." He became more serious again. "... you're lucky that you're not alone. You've got friends by your side who can help you. If you realize the anger's getting too strong in you, don't be afraid to ask Joe, Jörn, or Winona for help."

With a deep breath, Riccardo nodded. "I'll make it."

Adam slapped his thigh with his hand. "Let's go. I'll show you now how quickly you can bring such a stubborn calf to the ground."

He was about to climb over the fence when Riccardo held him by the arm and shook his head. "We shouldn't go on today."

"Why not?"

"Well ..." Riccardo was still hesitating whether to continue speaking, but then he raised his head and looked at Adam rather self-confidently. "... I've seen that you haven't taken hold properly with your hand, and Aunt Bridget's still complaining when you're so impatient."

Adam clenched his left hand into a fist and opened it again. "And you didn't sink to your knees so much the last time."

First, Adam wanted to laugh and say they could go on, but then he looked back at his hand. "You're right."

Riccardo jumped from the fence and grinned at Adam. "If you muck out the barn more often and also split the wood for us, then the strength will come back again."

Adam pulled Riccardo's hat deeper into his face. "And you shall not be so cheeky."

Riccardo pushed his hat up again and both grinned.

XXXX

Tom heard Rusty barking before the door of his office was opened. "Hello Tom. You wanted to see me?"

Adam's friend put a few reward posters in the closet and slowly pushed the drawer shut. "Yes, I saw your horse in front of the bank and sent for you."

Adam took a coffee and sat on the edge of the table. "Have the boys skipped school again?"

Embarrassed, Tom scratched his head. "No, ... I've got your father-in-law back in the cell." 

Adam choked on the coffee and surprised, he raised his eyebrows. "Are you talking about Clement?"

"I feel a little uncomfortable, Adam, but he refuses to pay the penalty because he believes that he was right."

With a wide grin, Adam put the cup on the table and crossed his arms. "What did the good Mr. Francois do?"

"Among other things he broke Mr. Burton's nose."

Adam pulled a small pout and still had to smile. "But we're still talking about Clement?"

"You can believe me, I was just as surprised when I came and saw him." Tom took the cell keys and looked at Adam questioningly. "And, will you go to see him?"

"Yep."

Adam stood up and followed his friend. With a broad grin, he leaned against the wall in front of Clements's cell. "I'll leave you alone."

"You don't need to grin, Adam."

Clement sat straight on the bunk and his expression was blank. "Will you tell me why Mr. Burton felt your anger?"

"He deserved it."

Adam was standing straight. "Tom told me that you don't want to pay the penalty. Can you explain to me why you don't want to do that, so I could tell Cholette at least."

Now Clement looked at him somewhat worried. "I don't have enough money with me."

Now Adam had to bite his lips not to laugh. "If you told Tom, he would have gone to the bank with you."

"I'm not going to the bank with a Sheriff so everyone can see I don't have enough money in my pocket."

Adam scratched his nose. "I forgot, your reputation, but ..." He grinned again. "... you don't have to worry about that now. You got a special reputation here today. I don't think anybody has ever dared to give Mr. Burton a piece of his mind in such an impressive way. I wouldn't have expected you to do that. Don't you really want to tell me what it was?"

"I have restored the family honor."

"The family honor? How can Burton offend you? You got along very well, especially as he comes from the East, and you share the same opinions on many things."

Clement breathed heavily. "I've found out why Ben and Emillia didn't join the summer party, and then ..." He looked at his son-in-law, grumpy. "... .. he wanted to submit a complaint to the school council so that you can't send Aiyana to school any longer. She would only cause trouble, and the other children would be morally damaged if they had to sit with Indians in the same class. He said that in the next few years, more of this riffraff from the Cartwright family would come to school, and that should be prevented in time."

With twitching cheeks Adam looked at him. Clement got up and put his hands on his back. "Adam, such an insult to the family I just couldn't take. I had to do something."

"Why? What has changed in recent weeks?"

Clement went to the cell window and remained standing in front of the wall, his back directed to Adam. "Adam, I'm not such a bad person as you always believe. I just can't muster the courage like you. I once told you that you have to adjust in Boston, or you can pack your bags and leave the city at once, but I wanted to prove to doubters in France that I'd make it, and so I adjusted. If I had been against the workers, why did I employ so many in my house? Not because I really needed them. I tried to give them a job." Clement paused and turned slowly to Adam. "On the day when the accident happened on the governor's site, I was as shocked as you, but I mustn't show any weakness, and when I said we gave the families of the dead money, I know it sounded hard. But I wanted to make sure that they were going to survive the next few months. I've adjusted myself and played a role, only to give my children a better future than I had, and then you showed up ..." He held his hand before his eyes and had to laugh bitterly. "... I felt like I saw myself, only with the difference that you made it. You haven't betrayed yourself. Quite the contrary. You took responsibility for your convictions and didn't let yourself be put off." He took another deep breath and looked directly at Adam. "I admire you for this courage. I don't know how far mine will go, but I won't let anybody offend my family this way."

Adam looked at Clement quite surprised. Then he left the cell area. Shortly thereafter, Tom returned, letting Bridget's father out of the cell. "Adam paid your fine, Mr. Francois. You can go now."

Clement took his hat and went to the office where his son-in-law was standing at the Sheriff's desk. "Thank you, Adam."

"Are we riding back together?"

"No. I promised my grandchildren and Sarah to pick them up today to buy a candy bag in the store for everyone."

Clement nodded to the Sheriff and left the office. "Buddy, there are still people who surprise me."

Thoughtfully Adam looked at him. Then he scratched his forehead and leaned against the edge of the table. "We'll see. I'm not really convinced yet of his change of mind."

Tom threw the keys on the table and took a letter from the drawer. "Adam, since you're here, ... I got a letter from the Office for Indian Affairs."

Adam didn't move very much, but put his hand on his snake amulet and tried to keep calm for what was about to come. He had told Bridget he needed to go to the mountain next week. He couldn't wait any longer. Just too much had happened in the last few months, and he had to find his inner peace before he would do something rash. "We were ordered to check whether you were up to the guidelines as to how the children should grow up. The Sheriff asked me to take over and write the report."

"And I suppose you'll do your duty?"

"Of course, Adam, I've told you I'm not just wearing the badge for fun."

"Do I have to listen to this now?"

"Yes, you have to, because I have to tell you what I wrote in my report."

Adam put his hands in his pocket and looked at the ceiling. "Then let's get it over and done."

Tom took the letter and sat down in his chair. "Because I have to write the truth, I could keep it short. ... I wrote that Mr. Adam Cartwright takes exemplary care of the education of Aiyana and Chesmu Cartwright, and we have no reservations whatsoever about them becoming decent adults."

Adam hung his head and closed his eyes. Without lifting his head, he spoke to his friend. "Thank you, Tom. I'll never forget what you've done for me today."

With a smile Tom sat next to him on the edge of the table. "I hope you can help me now, too?"

Adam turned his head to him. "Mr. Conner addressed me a few days ago to talk to me about Jörn. He'd like to register him for the examination of the universities next spring. Should Jörn actually pass the exams, he wants to go to Boston, to study law."

"Jörn and studying law?"

"What's there to grin about? Finally, I also represent the law."

"And how can I help you now?"

"I wanted to ask you if he could live in your house in Boston. I'd feel better if someone kept an eye on him."

Adam laughed. "And then you want to let him live with Pietro?"

Horrified, Tom looked at him. "Is he that bad?"

Adam stood up. "I'll write to him and ask if he would mind. But as I know him, he will be happy to keep an eye on Jörn, and I think the two will get along quite well."

As Adam went to the door, Rusty rose and followed him. "Thank you, Buddy. I won't forget that either. It remains on for this Saturday?"

"Yes, Bridget is already looking forward to it." Adam paused briefly before opening the door. "Tom, are you sure we should all come over?"

Tom just stood up. "What's this question? You are my best friend and coming to visit us on Saturday with Bridget and your children. You can also bring along the rest of them little rascals if your father and Frederic don't mind. And if someone from town should have a problem with it, he should tell me this straight to my face."

Adam just nodded and left the office.

XXXX

Softly Adam entered the bedroom. While he undressed, he looked into Emilie's little bed and smiled. He would have liked to take her in his arms now, but she would wake up early enough because of getting hungry. Carefully, he stroked her head and then slipped under the blanket and snuggled to Bridget. "Didn't you want to come back from the mountain tomorrow?"

His smile grew bigger, and he moved a little closer to her body. "I just missed you too much."

"It's raining, isn't it?"

He gently kissed her shoulders. "Nope, ... I missed you too much and wanted to be with you."

His kisses wandered up to her neck. "Adam, I am tired."

She moved a little away from him, and he exhaled deeply. 'The truth is always worth being told. Don't be afraid to shock, to provoke, if the words come from within you without compulsion.' "Bridget, what's going on? What are you afraid of? Since the incident with Kajika, you're avoiding me, and that has nothing to do with the birth of Emilie."

She lay with her back to him and he noticed how she inhaled deeply several times. Then she turned and looked into his eyes. "No, it has nothing to do with Emilie, and yes, I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

She laid her hand on his cheek and without interrupting the eye contact, he kissed it gently. "I just love you too much and I'm afraid of what will happen between us if I get pregnant again."

He didn't need to ask what she meant. He knew exactly. So he turned on his back, put his arm on his forehead and looked at the ceiling.

"You've been pretty closed up during this pregnancy, and I'm sure it'll get worse next time. Adam, I'll be fine with all your strengths and weaknesses, but not if you push me away from you like in Boston or in my first months here."

He just turned his head to her. "Bridget, I'll never get rid of this wall in myself, and quite honestly, ... that what has happened in the last few months, I've been able to survive only thanks to this wall."

"You don't want to get rid of it, do you?"

His answer was just a whisper. "No. I need it to continue my way."

Her voice wasn't much louder. "And what about us? I cannot live with this wall."

A smile crossed his face. "For you and the children, I've built this big door, and I try to keep it open. If it falls shut, you and Koko will surely tell me the right words so I can open it again quickly." He turned to her. "I love you, Bridget, and I promise that I'll never again shut you out of my heart as at the beginning. And if you should get pregnant again, I'll tell Hoss that he should have an eye on me. He always notices quite early when I start to hide behind the wall, and he has very convincing arguments to get me back on the right track."

They looked into each other's eyes, and after a while he moved closer to her, and their lips gently touched. She let him turn her on her back as his kisses became more passionate. Before his lips covered her body with kisses, he looked at her with a mischievous smile, and said softly into her ear. "I can't have built such a big house for nothing."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and also had to smile. "Then you should hurry. Because if it's the same as in the last two nights, it won't be long, and your son will be standing at our bedside because he had a bad dream."

She closed her eyes as he caressed her skin with his lips like a gentle breeze.

XXXX

Bridget leaned against the door and with a smile she looked at the bench. It was clear to be seen how well Adam had done the three days on the mountain ... and the last night. Although he had been awake very early, he hadn't slept so restlessly as the nights before. She coined the picture, as he sat there, looking at the mountains with Emilie sleeping peacefully on his chest. If she had some time in the morning, she would try to remember that moment, and then draw it in her sketch pad.

She sat down beside him. When Adam put his arm around her, she leaned against him. It didn't take long, and Chesmu stood with his little cushion in front of them and looked at them with big dark eyes. Then he put the cushion on Adam's lap. Chesmu said nothing, but climbed the bench to lie down on the legs of Bridget and Adam, and pretty soon he was fallen asleep again. Bridget couldn't hide how satisfied and happy she was when a short time later Aiyana sat down on the bench and snuggled into her arm. Bridget looked at the mountains and the sun, which rose further into the sky. They knew that as a family they'd still have hard times ahead, but for moments like this, it would all be worth it.


	74. Chapter 74

Mr. Conner had just turned to the class when Tyler raised his arm. The teacher breathed deeply as he already knew what was about to come. The break wasn't even five minutes over, and it would start again, as it had in the last few days. "Yes Tyler, what do you want to tell me?"

Tyler rose from his seat and looked over at Riccardo. "Riccardo, Sarah and the squaw have been talking again so that nobody could understand them."

Before Mr. Conner could say anything, Riccardo had stood up and rushed to Tyler. "I told you not to call her that."

Tyler shoved him back and grinned at him. "Should I rather say redskin?"

Suddenly Tyler staggered toward Riccardo. Sarah had got up from her place and pushed him with both hands in the back. Riccardo took a step to the side and let the boy hit the table with full force. With a wide grin, he looked at Sarah and was proud that he had done it just the way his uncle had shown him. With anger in his eyes, Tyler turned to Riccardo and Sarah, but before he could get on the two, Aiyana stood with arms crossed in front of him. "If you've got a problem with me, then you've got to deal with me, too."

The boy wanted to step back, but the desk behind him didn't allow that. "With you …..?"

His eyes looked frightened at Mr. Conner, who had only laid his hand before his eyes and shook his head. Riccardo and Sarah were now standing next to Aiyana and their arms were also crossed. "What's the matter, are you afraid of her?"

"Sure, he is, Riccardo. He thinks Aiyana comes to him at night and curses him."

Adam's daughter leaned forward and began to speak in her own language. Tyler looked back at Mr. Conner and slowly climbed backwards on the table. With a low, trembling voice he tried to get the attention of his teacher. "Mr. Conner, ... please ...!"

"Aiyana, stop that."

Jörn stood behind the three children and had put his hand on Aiyana's shoulder. "I think he's had enough for today. Sit down again, so that we can carry on." 

The three kids looked up to Jörn and then went back to their benches. With a deep sigh, Mr. Conner took Tyler by the arm and pushed him back to his seat.  
"Thank you, Jörn. You can sit down again, and you four ..." He looked at them all. "... you can pick up your letters after class. In order to get peace here, we will write a small test. Take your pens and you Randy, you're going to hand out the sheets."

A groan went through the class and everyone looked at Tyler and the other three. Only Tyler hung his head, while Riccardo, Sarah and Aiyana looked forward confidently.

XXX

"Adam ...!"

Adam was about to untie Sport when he heard his name. He turned around with a smile. With toddling steps Denise ran towards him. He crouched down, took her in his arms, lifted her up, and greeted Sybil warmly. "Hello, Sybil. Are you going to see Tom?"

"Yes, a little lunch visit. Since Henry isn't in town, he will be home late. And you? Have you escaped from home?"

He had to laugh. "No, I had to go to the bank, and I promised Bridget to show my hand to Paul."

"Do you still have no real feeling in your fingers?"

He clenched his hand several times into a fist. "Not really, and if I'm working too much again, I hardly feel it at all."

"And what did Dr. Martin say?"

Adam had to smile slightly, as Paul had said exactly what he had expected. "Nothing else than the shaman. I should have patience. It's not only the injury of the knife, which is why I can't feel my fingers properly, but also because I had broken my left arm due to the fall."

"I also think you just need more time. For how hard you were hurt, you've been pretty quick back on your feet again. Too fast in my eyes ..."

She looked at him slightly reproachfully. "I've already become more patient." 

Sybil had to laugh. "Oh, you haven't been trying to break horses again or build a new house this week?" 

He didn't answer, but grinned at her, and Sybil shook her head. Then her eyes grew more serious. "How about Chesmu and Aiyana? Does she get along well in school?"

With his thumb, Adam scratched his brow and looked a bit worried. "It's all right. From the very start it was clear to us all that it wouldn't be easy. But I did expect a few less letters."

"But haven't you said before that she's very self-confident and won't put up with everything?"

"Yes, but somehow I had hoped that it would be easier if Riccardo and Winona were with her."

Sybil touched his arm and tried to look at him encouragingly. "Give her time. Always remember what she's been through, like you, and she also has lost her parents. She hadn't only to get used to you, but also to live in a completely different world." 

A small smile showed up at his lips. "More patience?"

"More patience …"

She, too, smiled. "... and how is Chesmu, now that the big kids are at school?"

Adam put Denise back on the ground, and she began playing with Rusty right away. "He handles it surprisingly well. Bridget and I also have the impression that he's quite happy that he doesn't have to go to the village. He likes to visit Koko and Hoss, but when I ask him if he wants to go to Amarok and Aponi, he always declines. Since then, he sleeps a lot better, and doesn't wake up every night crying any longer."

"The two are really to be pitied. But I have no doubt that Bridget and you will manage it. With children you've always had a lot of patience, and they will be able to come to terms with what they have experienced, thanks to your affection and love."

Still somewhat skeptical, he stroked his stubble. "I hope so, and I'm really grateful to you and Tom for supporting us without saying a word about it. Bridget's looking forward to seeing you again in the next few days."

"We like to do that, Adam. That's what friends are for, and we will still stick to it, if you should take in even more kids. Somehow you must get your big house full."

She looked at him with a cheeky grin and Adam began to laugh heartily. "Bridget wouldn't be grateful. She's hoping that she might work again as a teacher, but with twenty children at home that would be hardly possible. And I certainly wouldn't come down from my mountain, because I would simply try to gather strength to continue to have as much patience with the children as always."

Now they both had to laugh. "Adam, I must go now. Otherwise my husband will go for lunch without us."

"I have to go, too. Since I'm already in town, I thought, I would pick up the kids today."

"Give my regards to Bridget."

She took Denise by the hand.

"I will."

Adam tipped his hat, took the reins of Sport and went to the school.

XXX

Tyler, Sarah, Riccardo, and Aiyana were standing in front of the teacher's desk, waiting for Mr. Conner to write their letters. With stern eyes he handed the first to Tyler. "And Tyler, you can tell your grandfather that he needn't to come. I know what he wants to tell me, and I've taken note." 

"Yes, Sir."

"Riccardo, ..." He gave Frederic's son his envelope. "... I don't want to have to ask for days for your father's answer."

"Yes, Sir."

"Sarah, ..."

He was just about to give her the letter when they heard someone clearing his throat behind them. All three turned around when they saw Adam standing in the doorway. Only Tyler looked briefly over his shoulder and then looked to the front again with a derogatory glance. "Wynono, ... Uncle Adam, ... Até, ...! "

He briefly put his hand to his eyes as they greeted him all with pleasure. With a finger, he showed them that they should turn back to Mr. Conner, which they did immediately, but not without glancing at him again. Adam went forward and sat on the edge of one of the tables and waited. 

"Tyler, you can go now."

Tyler nodded, grabbed his books and ran out of the school building. "Riccardo, give me back your letter."

With a questioning look, the boy returned the envelope to Mr. Conner. "Thank you, you can wait outside for Adam."

The three looked at each other and then took their books. But before they could go outside, Adam stood in their way. "I don't want any trouble out there. Understood?"

They nodded and markedly slowly they went out of the classroom. Adam looked after them, then turned to Mr. Conner, who had leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "What did they do today?"

With a heavy sigh, the teacher opened his eyes. "Adam, if I thought then that I had a lot to do to settle the disputes between Buck, Mitch and you, I was put right during the last few weeks." He took another deep breath. "Those three are like a wall. They stick together in a way I've never experienced before. Sarah, who reminds me a lot of you, tries to sort things out with words, and she's very determined. But if she doesn't succeed in doing so, she just needs to look at Riccardo, and he solves the problem with his fists. And if I'm not there in time, your daughter stands with her arms crossed in front of the loser and talks to him so that noone understands her. And since Tyler has spread that all Indians can do witchcraft, you can imagine the children's fear."

Adam put his hand in front of his mouth and just looked at the board, deep in thought. Had it been wrong to adopt the kids? By his decision, did he draw Riccardo and Winona into the matter to an extent they couldn't overlook? He still had to fight with Mitch till this very day, and that Buck had to die because of him and his friendship with the Indians, Adam couldn't deny.

"Adam, I can understand the three. They had to fight with Tyler and his friends from the very first day, and in the beginning they tried to get rid of the disputes by talking and explaining a lot. But the boy just didn't give up and always provoked them. It's obvious that he's only parroting what he hears from home. Every other day his grandfather's here and tries to incite me against you and Aiyana."

Adam took down the hand and raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Burton comes here because of Aiyana?"

Mr. Conner shrugged. "Yes, he does, and if he didn't turn his grandson against her, there would be no such serious problems. For Aiyana was actually very well accepted at first."

Adam stood by the window, looked outside, wondering why Mr. Burton was stirring up opinion against him and the children so much. He turned and crossed his arms, leaning against the window. "I think I'm going to have a talk with Mr. Burton, and ask him why he turns Tyler against Aiyana."

Immediately, Mr. Conner shook his head. "I think that isn't a good idea. That would only stir up feelings. It's my hope that the reports of fights with the Indians will subside, now that gold has been found here in the area."

Adam looked at the teacher and could see how much the whole affair had burdened him. "I'll think about what I'm going to do. But I won't stand by and watch for long. At least, so that the lessons can take place in peace."

"Do that, Adam." 

Before Mr. Conner gave him the children's letters, he rubbed his eyes once again, and told him what had happened in school this morning. "Would you please take the letters with you, and give them to Riccardo's and your father. For you, I can already say it's settled." 

Adam took the envelopes, said goodbye to Mr. Conner, and went out of the door. The children stood by the horses and were talking. With a deep breath he went to them. "Will you tell me why it had to end this way this time?"

For a moment Riccardo lowered his head. Then, however, he looked at Adam again with a firm gaze. "We tried to talk about it first, Uncle Adam. Yesterday and today, but he calls Aiyana squaw all the time and just doesn't stop."

For confirmation, the two others nodded. "Did you try to explain to Tyler that he offended Aiyana?"

"We have, Wynono, but Tyler does it on purpose. He wants Riccardo to get angry."

"And Little Joe couldn't help you?"

"Well, he wasn't in school for the last two days."

Adam noticed exactly how Sarah immediately pushed Riccardo in the side. Since this wasn't his problem, he didn't dig deeper. Then he looked at the three children and took the reins of his horse. "Well, let's ride home then."

When he went to mount, he saw that the children weren't moving. "Wynono, will you tell Pa what happened today?"

"For sure. We can't lie to him, and I can't simply sign your letters."

Loudly groaning Riccardo kicked a stone. "Damn, and all this because Tyler's just that stupid."

With both hands at the saddle, Adam looked over his horse. "I'll talk to Pa and Frederic. And now hurry up! Because if you come home too late, there'll be even more trouble."

All got into their saddles, and in silence they rode home.

XXXX

Ben let the front door shut with a loud crash. Even outside, he hadn't found Little Joe. But since he had to come home sometime during the day, he would now take care of the other problem. Still with anger in his belly, which was actually intended for Joe, he stood with his hands akimbo in the middle of the room.

"SARAH ...!"

"YES …..?"

Ben took a deep breath. His boys had always known at once, when he called them with this voice, they had to drop everything and come to him instantly. But with his daughter, he could wait forever for her to come out of her room.

"SARAH, COME DOWN AT ONCE!"

Ben could picture how she rolled her eyes. She had already copied a lot from her brother, and she was just five years old. His relationship with her had improved a bit since Riccardo had been living there, but she had already developed a sense of self-confidence, which surprised and frightened Ben. Ben looked at the stairs where his daughter was standing on the heel, looking at him defiantly. Inwardly he nodded. So he didn't have to beat around the bush. She knew what he wanted from her. He pointed to an invisible point in front of his feet. "Are you coming here, please?"

Sarah walked down the stairs and stood in front of him. "What do you have to say?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Didn't Wynono already tell you everything?"  
Again Ben breathed deeply, but his mood didn't get any better. "Now I'm talking to you, young lady, and the name of your brother is Adam, not Wynono."

Sarah breathed heavily. She had to pull herself together as not to stomp and yell at her father as well. "Tyler was mean to us."

"Could it be, though, that you're not completely innocent in the matter? As I've heard, you three are always annoying the other children."

She pouted and glared at her father. "No."

"No what?"

"We do not."

Ben raised his finger and held it in front of Sarah's face. "Young lady, since you've been going to school, you seem to have forgotten how to behave. Not only is your tone completely inappropriate and disrespectful, I cannot accept my daughter being constantly fighting at school."

Sarah looked down. But then she raised her head very quickly. Her gaze hadn't changed. "I must help Aiyana if she gets annoyed." 

"You don't have to. If she's got problems at school, your brother has to take care of it and not you."

"You want me to just watch?"

"I expect my children to behave."

"Wynono has also helped Koko."

His voice grew louder again. "We're talking about you now and not about Adam, and I think it was a mistake to send you to school this year."

The eyes of Ben's daughter grew wide. Then she couldn't restrain herself. With a grim look she stamped her foot. "It was not!"

Even Ben's eyes widened at her reaction. "Young lady, you can go to the barn. I'm telling you one thing. If I get to know about only one more letter for Riccardo and Aiyana, I'll take you out of school."

Grim and with an angry pout she looked at her father. "You are so mean. Wynono would never go to the barn with me. I wish he was my Pa and not you!"

"SARAH ...!" 

She stomped again and then ran out of the house to the barn, and Ben looked at the ceiling. After a few seconds he followed her.

XXXXX

Ben's mood hadn't improved yet. He put some papers back on the table, as he hadn't got the calmness to devote himself to his work at the moment. Ben hadn't had the impression that Sarah had learned something from their conversation in the barn. She was very quiet though, but her eyes had shown him clearly that she would talk to him again this way in future, if she didn't get her own way. He shook his head. Ben knew he'd been reacting too hard, but he'd been too angry when Emillia told him what happened back in school today. In addition, he hadn't found Little Joe, so Sarah had gotten all his rage. His eyes went to the door as it was pushed open and Jörn and Little Joe came in laughing loudly.

"Hello, Pa. We just want to get something out of my room and then we'll ride into town to go to Jörn's." 

Ben stood in the way of the two guys and took something out of his pocket. "And what do you want to get from your room? Maybe this?"

He opened his fist, and there were several coins in his hand. Jörn looked very surprised, but then a grin spread on his face, and he slapped Joe on the arm. "Joe, look. There are two coins of Yvette's."

Ben's eyes widened, and he looked to Jörn. "Those aren't mine, Pa."

Slowly his eyes wandered to his son, and he spoke markedly slowly with him.  
"Joseph Francis Cartwright, ..." He took another deep breath. "... not only has Sophie found these coins in your room, no, it seems, your friend knows about them and what makes me shudder more ..." The eyes wandered back to Jörn. "... that you two already know the names of the ladies."

Little Joe blushed and looked embarrassed to Jörn, who was trying to quickly dodge Ben's glares. "What are you waiting for?"

"Pa, ..." Joe didn't know what to do with his hands, and where to look. "... the coins, ... I ..." With his head bowed and his eyes raised, he looked at his father embarrassed. "... I found them in Adam's old room."

Ben crossed his arms and looked from one to the other. "Even if I should believe you, then how did Jörn know immediately, to whom the coin belonged?"

Both boys looked at each other. Without looking at his father, Little Joe spoke very softly. "Yvette's from Nevada City."

Ben leaned forward to face his son's face. "Nevada City?"

Ben's mouth opened and he looked at Joe with horrified eyes. "Joseph, when you were in Nevada City with Adam, you were only thirteen!"

Joe's mouth also opened and his eyes grew big as he understood what his father was thinking. "Pa, no, ... I ... I ... wasn't with Yvette, ... I ..."

He looked desperately at his friend. "That's true, Mr. Cartwright. He just met her, when Bonecrusher Paul wanted to break my fingers because he caught us."

Joe shook his head frantically, but it was too late. His father looked back at him and it wasn't to be overlooked that he didn't satisfy his father, with this short excerpt of the story.  
"Jörn and I were in the yard of ..." Shortly he looked at Jörn again. "... Yvette, ... we got …. lost ..."

"Got lost?"

It was clear to see that Ben couldn't quite believe it. "... well, we were caught by this Paul, and ... he wanted to break Jörn's fingers, ... so I threw myself against him."  
Joe hoped he didn't have to tell any more, but the way his father looked, he still wasn't quite satisfied. "Then he choked me."

He had only whispered, but Ben had understood him exactly. He dropped his arms. "And where was Adam at this moment? He should have taken care of you."

"He ... he ... he was ... nearby. "

"Joseph ...!"

Joe didn't know what to do. He didn't want Adam to get into trouble, just because he had taken the coins out of his room without asking. Maybe he could just leave some things out. "It was evening, and I was supposed to stay in the hotel room, and Adam had an appointment to celebrate his birthday. I met Jörn, and we wanted to ... he ... wanted …"

"I wanted to show him something in the yard."

Jörn tried to help his friend somehow, but he caught only a glare from Ben, who showed him not to interfere, and so Joe continued. "... first, Yvette wanted to help me, but Bonecr ... uhm ... Paul just laughed at her, and then Adam was there, and ... he shot him." Ben gasped. "Pa, Adam couldn't do anything else. The Sheriff also said that, and Yvette has confirmed that Paul had pulled the gun first."

Ben tried to calm down. He had already guessed at that time that the journey hadn't been without problems for the two of them. He knew Joe too well, and he was well aware of why his eldest hadn't told him anything. The coins in his hand spoke for themselves. He closed them into his fist as the front door opened, and Adam came in. He took off his hat and looked at the boys and his father. 

"You're just in time, son."

Slowly Adam went to the three. 

"I think we have to talk about some things, and this is where we start."

He opened his fist and showed Adam the coins. With a slight smile, he raised an eyebrow and looked at Joe, who was still looking red-faced to the ground. Adam crossed his arms and looked at his father. 

"What do you say?"

"I must have forgotten them when I moved out."

With a deep breath he reached for Adam's arm and stuffed the coins in his hand. "Sophie found them in Joe's room. This is something I don't want to have in my house. I don't want to imagine what would have happened if Sophie had given them to Emillia and not to me."

Adam scratched his forehead and lowered his eyes. 

"You needn't to grin, Adam. I don't think it's funny."

Adam put the coins in his pocket and looked at his father again. "Pa, I really don't know why you're so upset. You cannot tell me, you didn't ... "

"ADAM, we ... don't need to deepen this topic. Such coins have no place in Joseph's hands."

With a serious glance he looked at Jörn and Joe. "You can go outside, and Joseph, ... we both are going to have a talk this evening about the fact that you just went in your brother's room."

Without looking at Adam or his father, Joe left the house with his friend. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Sarah, but I think we need to talk about the events in Nevada City, too."

Adam rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Pa, that's so long ago, and I really don't know why you're so mad at me."

"Why am I so mad at you?" Ben went to his desk. "Not only that my daughter has become quite naughty and brings home one letter after the other because of you, since she goes to school. No, by and by I'll get to know what happened on your journey with Joseph." He took some documents in his hand. "And additionally, Mr. Burton has terminated the contract with us. He doesn't want to buy any more timber from us."

Adam pointed his finger at himself. "I'm to blame that Winona brings letters home?"

With a very loud voice Ben stood in front of his son. "Her name is Sarah, Adam! And if you were to take care that your daughter was behaving in school, the others wouldn't have these problems."

Adam turned around, not wanting to continue this conversation with his father. Ben was just too upset, so it would only end up in a dispute. Then Adam hesitated and turned to him again. "You're going to Carson City next week, or have your plans changed?"

Confused about the turn of conversation, Ben just nodded confirming.  
"Fine, ..." Adam took the coins out of his pocket, took one of them and put it into his father's hand. "... maybe we can talk about it after your trip. If you're a little more relaxed."

Adam put the remaining coins back into his pocket, and he knew he had to hurry now to get out of the house. He had just closed the door, when he heard his father yelling after him. With Sport's reins in his hand, Adam decided to walk to his house to calm himself down a bit. Not only did Ben blame him for the school problems, but he got more and more the impression that Burton had a problem with him personally, and that he vented it at his family. Even if Mr. Conner had said he shouldn't dig deeper, he wouldn't get around this conversation.

Halfway he saw Sarah standing at the fence of the paddock and obviously wiping the tears from her face. "Hello, Sunshine."

She didn't turn to him, but continued looking at the paddock. Adam tied his horse and joined her. "Did Pa scold you?"

"We went to the barn." 

Adam closed his eyes and clenched his fist. In the last few hours, the feeling grew that he had chosen the wrong path. "I'll talk to Pa. He can't punish you for trying to help Aiyana." 

She ran her fingers along the fence. "He also punished me because I was naughty to him."

He looked at his sister from the side, who spoke softly to him. "I've said that I'd rather have you as my Pa, because you'd never go to the barn with me."

Now Adam at least knew why his father had been so upset. For years, he had already accused Adam of interfering too much in Sarah's education, and now she had to tell him something like that straight to his face. And then the matter with Burton and the coins he had found with Joe. "But you know, that wasn't nice."

She wiped her tears away. "He's always so loud and never listens. I don't understand why he's so angry because I help Aiyana. " She looked at her brother. "Is this wrong, what I do? Does she have to cope alone?"

He could no longer watch her tear-stained eyes and took her in his arms. "Sunshine, quite honestly. At the moment I don't know what to say. "

She looked up at him. "You used to help Koko. Did Pa go to the barn with you then?"

"Every now and then, but he can't punish you because I'm friends with the Indians."

Sniffing, she took a step back. "I'm not going to be punished because of you, but because I help Aiyana. She's my friend, just as Koko's your friend." 

He smiled a little. Why couldn't he see things so simple, or was he just thinking too much? But only because of him she had befriended the Gosiute, and without Koko that incident with Kajika wouldn't have happened and ...

"Wynono, is everything all right with you?" His sister looked at him, startled. "... You suddenly look so sad."

He took a deep breath and tried to get his feelings back under control. He knelt before his sister. "Winona, I'll talk with Pa about your problems at school. But I want you to apologize to him because you've been naughty to him and you've certainly hurt his feelings with your words."

"I'll do that. Wynono, ..." Her dark eyes looked directly at him. "Pa wants to take me out of school if I bring another letter home from school."

He couldn't comment on that. So he simply took his sister in his arms and hugged her tightly. After a while he got up and put his hand on her shoulder. "Best do it as soon as possible. Then you're over with it. I'm taking care of everything else."

"Thank you, Wynono."

He watched after her for a moment as she ran to the house. When Adam untied Sport, he looked at the sky. But even in the clouds he couldn't find an answer to all his questions, and his doubts didn't disappear, either. So he reached his house pretty exhausted and plagued by much self-doubt and went to the kitchen, hoping that a fresh coffee would be waiting for him. Relieved, he noticed the coffeepot on the table. He took a coffee and looked out the window into the garden. There, Chesmu and Aiyana played with Emilie, who was lying in a papoose of Koko's. A little bit of his sad mood disappeared when he saw how much his daughter had to laugh about what her siblings were doing with her.

"So thoughtful?"

Startled, Adam spilled some of his coffee when he heard the voice of his mother-in-law. "Sorry Adam, I didn't mean to scare you."

She handed him a towel so he could dry his hand. He put the cup on the sideboard and put the cloth beneath it. Then he took a deep breath and ran both hands over his face.

"A quite exhausting year for you."

A tormented smile crossed his lips. "Yes, I could have done without one or the other incident."

Her eyes fell on the three children, too. "Yes, but despite all the tragedy, I would be lying if I said I could do without Aiyana and Chesmu."

Adam couldn't hide his astonished face concerning this statement. 

"Why do you look at me like that? Do you think I didn't agree with your decision?"

Adam shrugged slightly. "You never said very much about what you thought about it."

"Because it's your business, and you didn't ask me for advice. Adam, I think with Clement and Ben, you already have enough people who would like to interfere with your affairs. You certainly don't need me. I'd rather be there when you need me."

He turned to the window, laid his hands on the sideboard, and exhaled heavily.  
"It might deceive me, but would you like to see me interfering now?"

Adam didn't turn around when he spoke to her. "I don't know if my decisions weren't too selfish. Am I doing all this just to prove to my father and the others that I stick to my convictions? Do I, after all that happened, fear to go my way and start to hide behind the children?"

She joined him. "Adam, since I have known you, you stick without ifs and buts to your conviction. It didn't bother you if you lost a friend along the way. But I cannot deny that it's already noticeable to me that after the incident in spring you're very thoughtful and doubtful. I wonder why. Are you just too tired of all those incidents? Don't you see the Indians as your friends any more? Or did you really get scared?"

Head down, he tried to understand what had happened to him lately. Why he was constantly wondering if the whole thing still made sense. "I'm not afraid of Indians, or that something like Kajika could happen again. I've got a different fear ..." He raised his head and looked out the window again. "... fear, that something might happen to them because I chose to go this way. How do I know that this is their way? Don't I just influence them too much? Are they able to see their own way at all?"

"Yes, you influence them, but not the way you assume. You show them how to treat each other with respect. You gave Riccardo and the others the opportunity to meet the Indians, and you allow them to form their own opinions. You show them a way, but you don't compel them to take it."

Adam turned around and leaned against the shelf. "Do I do that? I'm not sure. Don't I take a part of the childhood of Chesmu and Aiyana because I let them live here and not in the village? Therefore aren't they drawn too early into the problems which exist between us and the Indians?"

"I think they have seen very early what problems there are. I think this way you're showing them that things can be different. That there can be a coexistence. And you helped Chesmu by not forcing him to go back to the village. His fear was apparently bigger than we had anticipated. He has become much more relaxed since he hasn't been there so often, and he's talking to us so that we can understand him. He opens up more every day."

Shaking his head, Adam put a hand over his eyes. He felt so tired. Somehow he felt that day by day he lost more and more strength and courage. "Cholette, these are children. Riccardo mustn't help at the ranch for one week because of these problems. My father has threatened to take Winona out of school, and I just pushed Aiyana into this world without preparing her properly."

His mother-in-law touched his arm gently, and spoke softly to him. "Adam, you're doing everything right. Don't give up. With Sophie, you see that you don't force any of the children to do anything they don't want. You also took her to the village, but like Chesmu, she prefers to play here on the ranch. You're just done because of what happened in the last few months. That's why you're so full of doubts. The three of them will be able to go their own way, and they will be able to hold their own in school. Your father will calm down, just like Frederic. If not, Emillia and I will take care of that."

"Are we both really here in the kitchen talking about the Indians, and that I've adopted the two? I didn't eat any leaves?"

Cholette had to laugh. "Of course we're standing here. Adam, although I haven't always said my opinion, my attitude was never far from yours and Bridget's. Always remember, when I met Clement, he was still studying, and I knew exactly how he grew up. But I believed in him, and I also stood up against my parents, although they waited until their death for him to fail in America. But he paid a high price. For this he almost lost his family and it cost me a lot of strength, to remind him time and again where he came from. Clement admires you for your courage and strength that he never had. So don't despair, Adam. And if you finally take a rest, what we've been asking you for weeks, you'll see your doubts subside, and you'll be able to stand to your convictions with renewed strength."

Adam turned around and looked at his children. Was it really only due to his fatigue that he was doubting everything and everyone at the moment? "Thank you, Cholette. I still have some appointments in the near future, but after that I will have some rest."

She laid her hand on his back. "I won't believe you until I see you sitting by the fireplace with a book in your hands. Therefore, my dear Adam, you're going to sit down with me outside and drink your coffee in peace, and I won't take "no" for an answer."

Adam took his cup in one hand, with the other he slapped slightly on the shelf. "Then we will do so."

Cholette took the coffee pot and both went outside to the children.

XXXX

He leaned on the saddle horn and took a deep breath. Adam was just back from an appointment with Mr. Tanner. His idea for the new project took more and more shape. If everything went as he thought it would, they could go into specific planning within a year. Now he could only hope that Frederic finally decided whether he wanted to stay here or go back to Boston. Adam wanted to have him here with this project, but he wouldn't tell his friend till he had made a decision. Adam didn't want Frederic to stay here for the wrong reasons.  
He ran his hand over his face and took a sip from the canteen, but it didn't help him feel better. For several weeks he dragged himself only from day to day, but when he lay in bed at night, he got no sleep. He built on the fact that in a few weeks the worst work on the ranch would be done. Then he could finally rest.

Adam sat up straight and stretched. Just as he was riding on, he saw Little Joe sitting in the little wood on a tree trunk. Even though it wasn't his business that Little Joe wasn't back at school today, he breathed deeply and directed Sport to his brother.

"That you don't want to help me at the ranch, I know, but that you're constantly skipping school is new to me."

Joe's head turned around and he looked at his brother with a horrified look. "Adam, ..."

Adam sat down on the trunk next to his brother. "Do you want to tell me why you are skipping school? Because there must be something that concerns only you, since Jörn's in school."

Offended Little Joe crossed his arms. "Why should I tell you? You'd rather take care of Riccardo."

Just a little 'Oh' escaped Adam's lips. He pushed back his hat and scratched his eyebrow. "So you're going to tell me, I'm to blame for you skipping school?"

Joe threw away some small stones, which he had held in his hand. Then Adam saw his first gun belt lying beside his brother. "Could it be that you've ransacked all of my old box?"

Joe blushed and glanced at the belt. "I know it wasn't right. Sorry, Adam."

His brother smiled. "Did you find more in the box, which might get us in trouble?" 

Now Joe grinned at him. "Should there be more?"

"I think after this conversation I'll have to check out my old room for stuff I might have forgotten." He pointed his head toward the gun belt. "Does this have anything to do with skipping school?"

"No, ..." Joe picked up the belt, and quite angry, he handed it back to Adam. "... I just don't know what to do in school. I really don't learn much more there, and Jörn's determined to pass the test next year. So he's brooding over his books every day." 

"And so you wanted to punish him and shoot him?"

Adam flinched as Joe jumped up and looked at him angrily. "You don't have to make fun of me. I can't laugh at the fact that I don't know what to do next year, and no, I didn't want to shoot Jörn, but I wanted to finally learn how to shoot. I am sixteen, and Pa still hasn't given me a gun, just because you probably have talked him out of it. But you're going for shooting with Riccardo, and he's only going to be eight."

"Joe, I haven't talked to Pa about you and guns in a long time, and yes, I've practiced with Riccardo how to handle a rifle. But unlike you, my eight year old nephew accompanies me at least twice a week, and he needs to know how to handle a gun when it's necessary."

Sand whirled as Joe kicked angrily into the ground. "Is it my fault that I don't know what I want to do after school? Adam, Mr. Conner hasn't suggested me for the exam, and then only the work on the ranch will be left for me."

"And would that be so bad?"

With his hands in the jacket pockets, Joe continued to kick the ground with his boot tip. "I, ... Adam, somehow you all know what you want, even Riccardo already knows he wants to be a cowboy, but I ...?"

"Joe, you've never really worked with me. So you can't even know if the work isn't satisfying, too. Because no matter what you want to do next year, everything will be different from school and it'll be more demanding."

Joe dropped back onto the trunk. "Adam, do you know how that feels, if you don't know what to do? What's the right thing?" 

Adam laughed softly. He knew that very well. At the moment he didn't even know whether he wanted tea or coffee for breakfast in the morning. Every decision was hard for him, and he simply wanted to have nothing more to worry about. He rubbed his forehead as his headache grew again. "But could it be that you're just afraid to grow up? You're then responsible for all the nonsense you're doing."

His brother looked at him desperately. "Tell me what to do, Adam."

Adam looked back at Sport. He might get up now and get his canteen. Perhaps his headache would subside then. "First of all, you'll go back to school, because if Pa's aware that you're skipping school, you can forget about being at Jörn's for Thanksgiving ..." Adam had to blink several times as the picture blurred before him. "... And then, without complaining, you're going to help me in spring to round up the cattle from the first day on." He needn't to look at Joe to know that he was just groaning inside. "After that, we both get together and talk about how you got along with the work, or whether you really want to do something different after school. For noone's forcing you to work here on the ranch."

Joe's eyes went big. "Pa would surely be disappointed if I don't stay here. Hoss already has the farm and helps only now and then, and if I'm going to do something different, too, ... "

Adam shook his head and ran his hand over his eyes. "Joe, the Ponderosa is Pa's dream. This doesn't mean that we all must have the same dream. Get rid of the thought that you must work here, then you'll hopefully realize what you want to do. But Joe, ..." He looked sternly at his little brother. "... you have to do something after school. Just living lazy through the day Pa won't accept at all. With everything else he'll cope with given time."

With elbows on his knees and his chin on his hand, Joe looked into the woods. After a while, Adam put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Joe, think about it calmly, and we'll talk about your future next year after the roundup, but before that you have to do another task ..." Joe glanced at his brother, who held out the gun belt. "... from next week on I'll show you how to handle a gun. But Joe, ... "  
Joe swallowed. His brother's gaze was dark, and he was sure he'd seen a flash of lightning. "... if I see you in town with a gun before your eighteenth birthday, I'll break my promise for the first time and go with you to the barn. Understood, Joe?"

Joe nodded quickly. 

"Always remember how fast you can be on the ground, or do you think you could have won against Mitch?"

Slightly embarrassed Joe shrugged. "With a bit of luck …."

"Joe, this has never had anything to do with luck. There are only a faster or slower draw, and if you were too slow, then you can only be lucky if you're not mortally wounded."

"I understand, Adam."

With both hands Adam leaned on his knees to get up. He just wanted to go home and have a cup of coffee to get fit again. "Well, let's go home now."

Joe got up and went to his horse, while Adam went to Sport with heavy steps. He took the reins and then held on to the saddle with both hands. He had to take a deep breath, but it was as if the short way from the trunk to Sport had robbed him of his last strength. He still wanted to call for Joe as his fingers slid from the saddle and he slipped to the ground.

XXXXX

Slowly Adam opened his eyes and glanced at the ceiling of his bedroom. Immediately he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Adam, ..."

Cautiously, Adam turned his head and looked into the worried face of his father. "Pa, ...?"

Adam tried to get up, but Ben pushed him back into bed. "Adam, even if you resist anything else that I say to you, you will listen to me now. You'll stay in bed and in the next few days I don't want to see you outside on the ranch or on your horse. You will, as Paul has prescribed, stay in bed, and finally come to a rest. Even if that means I have to stand with a rifle in front of your room, so you'll do as you've been told."

"Paul was here?"

Adam wanted to get up again, but his father's gaze and the dizziness that gripped him made him sink back into the pillows. "He was just visiting me when Joe came running in and told us that you had collapsed." Worried, Ben put his hand on Adam's arm. "Adam, even if you haven't listened to us all the time, that you should slow down and rest, please listen to Paul now. Did you look into the mirror lately to see how bad you look? Paul said that if you aren't reasonable now, you may not be with us for Christmas any more."

Adam rubbed his eyes. "Pa, now you're exaggerating a mite. Yes, I'm tired and I'm sleeping a little badly, but that doesn't mean I'm dying anytime soon."

The grip on Adam's arm intensified, and Ben's voice grew more serious. "Stop playing it all down. You were badly injured and have gone back to work way too soon. And the problems at school and with Mr. Burton burden you additionally. Didn't you notice how done you were? Not even your mountain has restored your strength. On the contrary, it took you even more power, and my stubbornness has certainly contributed to it ..." His voice grew more gentle again. "Adam, when Paul checked on you, your heart was beating much too fast and you were soaked with sweat. You were unconscious for almost two hours."

Adam put his arm on his forehead and nodded slowly. Then he looked back at Ben. "Where's Bridget?"

"She's in town with Giovanna and wanted to come back together with the children. I didn't want to get them fetched deliberately, so as not to upset them unnecessarily."

"Then she doesn't need to know what happened."

"Adam, ..." His father spoke slowly. "... did you just listen to me?"

Ben's son drew a deep breath. "What about the children and the school? I wanted to talk to Mr. Burton tomorrow about what problem he's got with me. I can't wait till spring."

Ben took a cup from the small table and handed it to Adam. "I'll take care of it. I won't even watch Tyler causing all this trouble at school. Adam, when will you finally understand that we're backing you up and want to help you?"

Adam looked into the cup and grimaced. "Pa, but you have a very strange way of showing me that ... that's not another one of Koko's teas ...?"

"If you promise me you will stay in bed, I promise I will show you more clearly, that I'm on your side and always support you in your decisions as far as the Indians are concerned. And yes, this is one of Koko's teas. Emillia brought it over, and I should make sure you drink it."

With his hand, his father indicated him to drink. So it wasn't long after he had drunk the tea that his eyes grew heavy, and he fell asleep.

XXXX

Clement took the glass from the table and toasted to Ben. "Thank you for your offer."

"T'was my pleasure. A family should stick together ... "

Ben looked startled to the door when someone knocked. He put down his glass and looked surprised at Mr. Conner, who stood with his hat in his hand in front of him. "Mr. Conner, come in. What brings you out here to the Ponderosa during the holidays?"

The teacher nodded to Clement. "Mr. Cartwright, this isn't easy for me, but it has to be done." One could see how much willpower it took him to utter the next words. "I have long wondered if I still could make it to summer, but I can't even with my strongest will. After Christmas holidays I won't be available as a teacher in Virginia City any longer. I have no strength left to cope with these permanent disputes. This should be the task of a younger teacher."

"But Mr. Conner, ..." Ben looked desperately at Clement. "... where should we get a substitute so quickly? You have been our teacher for so long, and in my opinion you're by no means too old."

Mr. Conner smiled. "Mr. Cartwright, I may remind you that I've already taught Adam, and that was twenty years ago."

Ben was a bit shocked that so much time had passed. And Mr. Conner has already been a bit older then. "Can't we persuade you to stay at least till summer?"

"No. As I said, I didn't make this decision easily, but it doesn't work anymore, and I thought ..." He looked briefly at Mr. Francois. "... if Bridget could take over again until summer?"

Instantly Ben shook his head. "No way. Adam's just getting back on his feet. He can't take care of the kids when Bridget's at school, and certainly not when the ranch work starts again in spring." 

Mr. Conner hung his shoulders. "Then, if no substitute is found, no lesson will take place."

Ben put his hands akimbo, exhaling loudly. Clement came to his side. "Ben, Bridget should do it. Cholette and I can help Adam with the children and completely take care in spring of Chesmu and Neisha. It won't be that long until summer, and who knows, maybe you'll find a new teacher earlier."

Ben's eyes wandered between Clement and Mr. Conner. "We can't decide that now. That's the business of Bridget and Adam, but I'll talk to them."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. Do you think you can let me know by the Christmas mass? I would then be able to leave Virginia City with a clear conscience after Christmas."

Ben looked at the clock. Right now it was an unfavorable time to go to Adam. The children were still awake. So he couldn't talk in peace with Bridget and his son. "I cannot promise if I can manage to talk to the two before tomorrow night. As Adam won't attend the Christmas mass."

Clement looked at him in astonishment. "He's fine again. Why don't they want to come? Not because of Neisha? "

"No, because of Chesmu and Aiyana. First of all they should understand what Christmas means to us. We'll all meet here for dinner then."

He turned to Mr. Conner again. "Although we will sorely miss you, I accept your decision. And whatever Adam and Bridget will decide, you shouldn't make your plans depending on it."

Mr. Conner put on his hat and shook hands with both men. "I thank you for your understanding. Mr. Cartwright, ... Mr. Francois."

XXXX

Softly Adam closed the front door and with a broad grin he looked into the living room. As it looked, the children had immediately taken advantage of Bridget's short absence. Chesmu crouched on the floor, drinking a cup of milk, and Emilie sucking on a biscuit. Bridget came out of the kitchen and saw Adam standing at the door as he looked into the living room. She joined him, and he put his arm around her shoulder. "Aiyana's been looking at the Christmas Tree for at least ten minutes." 

"And I was worried that they would reject Christmas."

"Adam, I told you that they'll get along with it. Just because we tell them why we celebrate Christmas, they won't lose or forget their faith. And if you're quite honest ..." With a smile, she looked at her husband. "... it came at the right time for you that we don't go to church today."

He raised his eyebrows, trying to keep a straight face. "I think we should save the biscuits, otherwise Santa Claus will starve tonight."

"No need. For if he asks me very nicely, I'll tell him where I've hidden one or the other biscuit."

With a gentle glance he looked at her and kissed her. And it didn't matter to him at all whether all the biscuits would disappear in the bellies of their children.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That was my last chapter in this year. I wish you all a nice Christmas and a happy New Year. I will be back in January. Thank you that you still read my story.


	75. Chapter 75

"Mr. Francois, ..."

Frederic stopped and turned to the voice behind him. He had to briefly consider who the man was who ran across the street waving. It wasn't until he was close to him that he knew it was Tyler's father. His back tensed immediately, and he wondered what could have happened at school again. "Mr. Francois, it's good that I meet you in town today. I'd like to talk to you."

Frederic put the letters he held in his pocket. "I also think that it is necessary that we talk to each other."

"I've heard you're thinking about leaving Virginia City, but I think you should stay here to work with us."

Slightly confused Frederic frowned. Not only did he wonder about how Tyler's father knew he was thinking about going back to Boston in spring, but also about the rather odd offer. Even though Mr. Burton and his father had a construction company and would always need the work of an architect, he wondered why Tyler's father was asking him. "You want me to work for you?"

Mr. Burton shook his head in confusion. "Not for me. But with us. After all, Cartwright, with his exaggerated love for the Indians, has made sure that you also have a considerable financial loss. Although I don't quite understand why you just didn't go on on your own ..." He paused for a moment and rubbed his hands to warm them. Despite the fact that it was quite cold, Tyler's father didn't wear gloves. "... but anyway. I think you'll support us regarding the fact that Cartwright's wife won't be offered the job at the school. If we don't stop them now, half the tribe is soon visiting our school."

Frederic looked at Tyler's father in complete disbelief. "But you're aware that you're talking of my sister and my brother-in-law and friend?"

"I'm talking about a man who, as it seems, has lost his mind, but it's no wonder considering that he was in captivity of this crazy Indian for two days."

Frederic tightened his jacket. "I think our conversation is over now."

Adam's friend wanted to go but Mr. Burton held him by the arm. With a stern look Frederic looked at the hand of Tyler's father. "Mr. Francois, you don't really forgive your brother-in-law that you're no longer cooperating with the railway company? Is fame and money so unimportant to you?"

"I would now like to continue on my way, Mr. Burton."

The two men looked into each other's eyes, and Mr. Burton tightened the grip of his hand. His voice was now deeper and angered. "After what happened, are you still with Cartwright? He ruined you! Otherwise you wouldn't go back to Boston. Mr. Francois, stay here and help us, so that the Cartwrights don't increasingly have the say here in town."

Frederic's voice grew quieter. "I'll say it just once, you take your hand off my arm."

With an angry look Mr. Burton took his hand of Frederic's arm. "It looks like you're just another damned friend of these savages. But one day the army will finally free us from this riffraff and the children of your friend will soon realize that they're not wanted here."

It was but a reflex, and Frederic couldn't tell how it had happened, but Tyler's father was sitting on the ground at his feet, holding his nose. With big angry eyes he looked up at Frederic. "You didn't do that for nothing, Mister. We'll finish you off, just like we're finishing off with Cartwright."

Frederic went to his knees and grabbed Mr. Burton by the collar. "If I see you getting too close to the children or another member of my family, I'll finish YOU off. Understood?"

Tyler's father didn't give him an answer, and Frederic pushed him back to the cold ground. Then he continued his way without looking back.

XXXX

"Adam, ..."

Frederic closed the front door and looked around, but couldn't see his friend. "I'm in the dining room. If you want a coffee, bring a cup."

With raised eyebrows, Frederic looked at the clock and wondered that his friend was still at breakfast at this time of day. Shrugging, he went into the kitchen to get a cup. At the door to the dining room he stopped with a slight grin. "The kids mess up your schedule? It's just past nine, and you're still at breakfast?"

"Good morning, Frederic."

Adam didn't turn to his friend, but gave Emilie another small piece of bread.

„Lekšíla Tókhel aníyaŋpa he?"

Frederic sat down beside Chesmu and smiled at him. "Whatever you said, I wish you a good morning."

Chesmu held his hand to his mouth and laughed. "Lekšíla has the brain of a waterfall."

Chesmu raised his hands and then moved his fingers very quickly up and down, lowering his arms. "Chesmu, I'm glad if I can remember that Lekšíla means Uncle, but I can't even pronounce or understand the rest."

Chesmu continued to laugh and took his cup of milk. "What brings you to me so early? Did Giovanna finally have enough of you?"

Frederic poured himself a coffee. "I wanted to see how you cope with the children." He grinned cheekily. "If you manage everything so easily, then you can have Bridget still work after the summer, and you continue to take care of the children and the house."

Adam took a sip and looked seriously at his friend over the rim of his cup. "That's an excellent idea, dear Frederic, and since you don't have any work at the moment, you can help me a lot." Adam raised his finger and grinned. "I'd suggest you then take care of the laundry."

Frederic stood openmouthed. "No, I think we ought to let things go the common way. I don't like the thought that my wife also gets the idea to go to work, and then I have to take care of the children." He put his cup on the table and looked at Adam seriously. "Well, I'm here to talk with you about the future of the company."

"Yes, …"

Adam continued to look after Emilie and didn't look at him. "Adam, I cannot stand if you are like that."

Surprised, he raised an eyebrow. "How am I?"

"If we have something serious to discuss, then I get the feeling, you ... well, …. you get so quiet, and I can't tell what you're thinking. Then you have that look."

Adam crossed his hands and looked at him with a slight smile. "Better this way?"

"Nope."

Frederic leaned back, annoyed. "As always, you're making it damn hard for me." He took another deep breath and then shook his head. "Adam, can you look at me differently?"

With a cloth Adam cleaned his daughter's hands. "Your uncle doesn't know what he wants."

Exhaling loudly, Frederic crossed his arms. "Emilie, your father only knows how he can make it hard for me to make a decision."

"Oh, ..." Adam looked at him in exaggerated astonishment. "... you managed to make a decision after so many months?"

"Yeah, but just as you're pulling my leg, I should think about that again."

"Oh, it sounds like you want to stay."

"Yes, I'll stay. I cannot leave you here alone with my father, now that he has decided to stay here for whatever reasons."

"That's the Nevada charm. You should know that by now. Well, my little buttercup, ... " Adam picked up his daughter and stood up. "….Would you please keep an eye on Chesmu, lest he doesn't march off to find Sophie? I only have to get the young lady dressed properly, and then we can talk again."

Frederic glanced at Chesmu, who looked at him with a dirty mouth. "Are you hungry yet?"

"Hiyá."

With narrowed eyes, but a smile, Frederic raised his finger. "Chesmu, I know you can talk so I understand you. You just want to annoy me."

"I'm finished."

"'Kiea' means ready?"

Chesmu shook his head and laughed again. "'Hiyá' ... not 'Kiea'... "

"So it's no."

The boy nodded and Frederic pushed the chair back. "How can anyone remember all that?"

Frederic looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. He was sure that is sister was only going to work again, because she understood as much about what Chesmu said as he did. " Here great chief, just wipe your mouth."

Chesmu took the cloth from Frederic and looked at him with big eyes. "I'm not a itȟáŋčhaŋ."

There was a knock at the door, and before Frederic could stand up, Adam's son was already running past him. "Mami Cho, ...!"

Frederick raised his eyebrow. Had he understood Chesmu just right? He put the plate back on the table he was about to take to the kitchen and followed his nephew. The door wasn't quite open, when Chesmu was already stretching out his arms to Cholette, and she immediately took him up to hold him tight. Then she looked astonished at her son. "Frederic, I didn't expect you here so early this morning."

He welcomed his mother and took off her jacket after she had let Chesmu down again. "I want to discuss something with Adam, but ..." Nodding his head, Frederic grinned. "... now I understand as well why Adam is so relaxed about the whole thing with Bridget's job, while he's supposed to do everything here. If you come every morning, he doesn't have to do much."

Cholette took Chesmu by the hand and started to go to the kitchen. "Frederic, ... Frederic. I don't want to start like your father, but you can just take a leaf out of Adam's book. He does most of the work here on his own. I just come over to take care of the children so he can work in the morning, while you, who hasn't been working since summer, are already out of your depth if you have to take care of your two boys for more than an hour."

Frederic swallowed and exhaled loudly. "I also don't have such calm children as Adam."

"How shall they be calm, with such parents."

Her son was about to answer when Adam came down the stairs with Emilie. "Good morning, Cholette."  
She went to the stairs and took Emilie. "Good morning, Adam ... Bonjour, ma petite princesse."

"Maman, ..."

Frederic groaned annoyed. "Aren't there enough different languages spoken in this house yet? Soon the children won't know in which one to talk."

"Frederic, ..." Adam stood with his arms crossed in front of his friend. "... may I remind you that this is my house, and if we speak all the languages of the world, this is only our business ... liǎojiě wǒ de péngyǒu?"

Frederic's eyes wandered back and forth between his mother and Adam. Then he tapped Adam against his chest. "I've got no idea what you just said, but that was Chinese, I've heard that, and if you mean you have to teach my son that too, I have to reconsider my decision again."

Adam had to laugh and slapped his friend against the belly. "Well, come on. We've still got a lot to talk about."

He turned again to Cholette. "Both have already had breakfast and slept well."

"Thank you, Adam. Then I'm going to just clean the kitchen and then go up to Emillia. We'll even have lunch there."

"That's all right. You can check with Clement about the plans for your house this afternoon, if they find your approval."

"We will."

Before she went to the kitchen with the kids, Adam gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead and stroked Chesmu's hair. With a satisfied face, he then went to his office. With his hand, Frederic rubbed the spot on his belly, followed Adam, and sat down in front of his desk. Adam sat down in his chair and with his hands crossed in front of his mouth, he looked seriously at his friend.

"What's the matter, Adam? Why do you look at me like that? Would you rather have preferred if I didn't stay?"

Frederic's voice sounded harder than intended. Smiling, Adam took his hands down. "You can get really angry. ... No, I'm glad that you're staying, but I wonder if it really was your decision, or if you're just picking the easy way."

Frederic leaned forward. "Easy, Adam? You call life here easy?" He dropped back into the chair. "Easy ... I'm freezing my fingers when I pick up the wood or make the carriage ready in the morning. And when I'm in town, I have to wriggle past loutish, drunken cowboys and fight for your sake and ..."

"You have to WHAT?"

Frederic waved his hand. "Nothing bad, but again so typical for you in the West. I only got the mail, and then Tyler's father thought he had to make some inappropriate remarks about you and Bridget."

Now it was Adam, who leaned forward. "You fought?"

With a mischievous look he scratched his chin. "One blow had been enough."

"Frederic, you and your family surprise me more and more."

"What can I say, Adam? My life would be very boring in Boston ..." Frederic couldn't resist a slight grin. "... well Adam, we should now come to the important things. What are our plans? I have to make money again because ..." His grin grew even wider. "... my wife won't work to make ends meet."

"I think the air here in the West doesn't do you any good. You're getting more and more cheeky with each day."

"I've learned that from my son. He's got a role model to which he looks up to."

Both looked at each other as friendly and familiar as they hadn't for a long time. Then Adam nodded, picked up a map, stood up, then spread it on an extra table. Curiously, Frederic rose and stood beside Adam. "I've been thinking about how we can apply our experiences with the railways. As now it is certain that Virginia City and Carson City won't be connected to the rail network, I thought we would take over."

Frederic tilted his head and looked at his friend. "You want to found your own railroad company?"

"No, of course not. I only had the idea, and I've already put out my feelers who could join in this project with us."

"Us? Adam, why do you want to build a train between two small towns? Even if you always tell me not to look at the money, I see only a huge loss coming on US."

Adam also tilted his head and closed his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and stood upright. "Frederic, as so often, you don't think any further. Look at the map. The railroad will, if everything works, connect with Reno. This would mean that all goods and persons can only get there by stage coach or carriage to use the train. Especially from Carson City it's a long and not so easy road."

"But Adam, for those few people it's not worth what you're planning."

"Tell me Frederic, what's happening around us?"

"Adam, I've no desire for your quizzes. Just tell me what you see, which I obviously don't see."

Adam leaned against the table and smiled. "There are several factors. On the one hand, gold and silver have been found again, and if the rumors are true, then it's not just a small silver line. What would mean, there are even more settlers coming to the West. The population of towns will increase. Why do you think the train would have such an interest in buying that land? On the second hand the tensions between Nevada and Utah will intensify. As it seems, Nevada wants to become independent and now it's getting political. The North needs allies to fight the South. Because it looks like there will be no fast agreement. That's why Washington will support our territory to become independent. What brings money back into the country. Money means the country becomes more attractive. Do you understand what I'm getting at? We need the connection to the train, but now WE can determine where it's going to lead. It'll be a small route, but an important connection for the three towns. Not only for the transportation of persons, but also to connect the individual silver mines with each other, in order to simplify the transport of the ores."

Pretty perplexed Frederic looked at the map and then back to Adam and breathed once more loudly. "Well, what can I say. And if all that won't work out? Because, ..." He pointed his finger at the map. "... I don't need to be an expert to see that this won't be a project that's completed within two years. The first real money will be paid off but in about five years, and until then my family will have starved."

Adam went to his desk and took out some documents. "Take ten years, Frederic. We must pass through an area with mountains. In my initial planning we have to drill at least through four mountains."

His friend opened his mouth, looked at the map, then looked questioningly at Adam. "Uhm, Adam, ... how can you reconcile this with your somewhat different attitude to life? I mean, you can't believe one thing and do another."

Adam was back at the map. "That is why we go through the mountain. The mountain remains. We just make a hole. If we were to take the detour across the land, we would have to destroy much more woods and thus also take land for the settlers. But we need it. The distance would then be too big, and it wouldn't be worth it. Frederic, what I always say. I'm not against progress, and there is no question that we need the railroad between the coastal cities, but I have to agree with the way a project is implemented." Adam placed the documents on the table in front of Frederic. "Since we only put money into this project at the beginning, we also have to work on other projects at the same time. Smaller ones, which earn us enough money to make ends meet for our families. I thought we'd rent an office in town and hire someone to help us plan. I've been talking to Professor Hauser, and he knows someone in his class who's said to be very good and would like to go to the West."

With the documents in hand, Frederic couldn't cease shaking his head. "You still have contact with the professor? Adam, what have you done in the last months? You should recover!"

"That's what I did. I shouldn't work on the ranch. Nobody said ..." He tapped his head. "... that I cannot work with this."

Still Frederic's face didn't change. "But Adam, ..." Now he looked at his friend very surprised. "... for the fact that you never really wanted to work in this area, you're talking about a huge project with a lot of work. How do you want to do this besides your work at the ranch?"

The smile from Adam's face disappeared suddenly, and his expression became cold and unemotional.

"Adam, ...?"

Adam took a deep breath, turned away and went to the window to look to the mountains.

"Adam, ...?

Adam didn't turn around when he spoke. "Frederic, you know that I think ahead and some things can't be left to chance." He paused, and Frederic saw how he clenched his left hand into a fist. "The shaman and Doc Martin have both told me that I can never use my left hand as before. I feel my fingers again, but it won't be the same as it was before. It can happen at any time, if I work too much, the feeling might disappear for a few days, but that's not the main problem, I can cope with that ..." Again he paused. "... But the injuries I've suffered through the fall, were worse than I've told you so far." Adam laughed contemptuously. "As Doc Martin said so nicely, so far my age and my muscles help me that I don't have to bear so much pain. But in a few years it might be that I can no longer sit on a horse. My leg and back just got injured too much. I should also be careful not to break the same bones again, because then I can forget about the work on the ranch ..." Adam turned to his friend again. "That's why I want to be prepared if the case should occur that I'm no longer able to work on the Ponderosa. You know I never wanted to depend on my father. For me, it's important that I make my way, which I go, alone. I don't want to hear one day from anyone that only my friendship with the Indians is to blame for the fact that I can't cope alone any longer and that I can't feed my family."

Frederic looked at his friend. He knew exactly what the work on the ranch meant to Adam and what it would mean for him if he wasn't able to do it any longer. "Does Bridget know about it?"

"No. And she shouldn't. I don't want her to worry about something that might not happen. I just want to be prepared if that's how it should be." He took a step towards Frederic. "Only Koko and you know about it, and that's how it should stay. Do you promise me that?"

Silently, they looked into each other's eyes, and then Frederic knew at once that it was no longer a question for him where his place was. Here in Nevada. With his friend, who had saved his life without hesitation, and his rather extraordinary family. His family. He held out his hand to Adam. "Then show me more of your totally crazy idea."

"Thank you, Frederic. I won't forget that."

They stood in front of the map, and Adam explained his idea.

XXXX

Bridget stood at the school door and looked at the children who were on their break. She shook her head as she watched Tyler and his friends approaching Aiyana, Riccardo and Sarah once again. Gradually she could understand Mr. Conner's decision. There wasn't a day Tyler didn't try to provoke the three. Even if Riccardo tried to hold back, if Bridget didn't take care, there was a fight between the two. So she went with quick steps to the small group to avoid the worst, at least today.

XX

For a long time, Bridget had considered how to solve the problem between the children. She knew what she was going to do today could bring along a lot of trouble, but she couldn't think of a better idea. So she turned to the class and looked at Tyler. "Tyler, I would like to know why you think that Indians don't have the right to go to school nor live in our neighborhood."

The boy blew up his cheeks and looked to the right and left, but none of the children said anything, they only looked at him waiting. Then he stood up slowly. "Well, …. I ..., well, because ... they ... don't belong here ...?"

"Was that a question to me, Tyler?"

Bridget tried to look as neutral as possible.

"No, ..."

Tyler scratched his head and stepped embarrassed from one foot to the other. "... but, ... they don't speak our language and take away our land ..." Then his voice became very energetic, and he tried to sound as convincing as possible. "... and they kill women and children."

Bridget nodded. "Thank you Tyler, for letting us know your opinion. You can sit down again."

She looked at the class. "Paul, can you please tell us where you were born?"

The boy stood up and looked around in surprise. "In Germany, Mrs. Cartwright, but I was still very small when my parents went to America. I cannot remember it anymore."

"Thank you, Paul. Dianne, can you tell me where you were born?"

She looked around shyly. "Here in Virginia City."

"And your parents, have they always been living here?"

"No. They came from Australia with their parents when they were small."

"Riccardo, were you born in America?"

"Yes, …. did you forget that, Aunt Bridget?"

A chuckle went through the class. "Riccardo, ..."

Riccardo lowered his head slightly. "Sorry, Mrs. Cartwright."

"Riccardo, where do your mother's parents come from?"

"From Italy."

"Thank you, Riccardo. Tyler, ..."

She looked back at the boy who was sitting in front of her. "You were born here?"

"No, ... I was born in New York."

"And your grandfather?"

"In Ireland. He came over with my grandmother and my father by ship."

"Tyler, you've heard that almost from everyone of your classmates someone from the family comes from another country. Do you think when Paul's parents came here, they were already speaking your language?"

Tyler shrugged. "I dont know."

"I come from France, for example, and I hardly understood a word when we arrived in Boston. Have you still noticed anything now?"

"No, Mrs. Cartwright."

"Thank you, Tyler…. Aiyana, can you tell me where you were born?"

"On the mountain of the silent bear."

Again, a laugh went through the class, but immediately fell silent when they saw Bridget's gaze. "But you're born here in America?"

"Yes, I am."

"And your parents?"

"They too were born on the mountain of the silent bear."

"Aiyana, can you tell me if there was anybody from your family who wasn't born here in this country?"

She thought briefly, then shook her head. "No, our tribe has always been here."

"And Aiyana, has your tribe always spoken our language?"

"No. We had to learn it because the White Man didn't want to learn our language, but to understand them, we had to learn it."

"You can stay a moment, Aiyana." She looked back at Tyler. "Tyler, you said you don't like the Indians because they don't speak our language and take our land, right?"

The voice of Tyler wasn't very loud. Too unpleasant was the situation. "Yes ma'am."

"Tyler, we aren't a large class, but you've heard that only a few generations of your classmates live here in America. Our families come from different countries just like yours. Now we're talking about the country's history. Tyler, who lived here before the first settlers came to America? "

Tyler looked at Aiyana. "The Indians?"

"Yes, Tyler, that's correct. I ask you, why do you think Paul's parents have learned our language?"

Tyler turned slightly and looked at Paul. "So that his parents can talk with the others?" 

"I also think that was an important reason. But Tyler, why do so few of us speak the language of Aiyana? Shouldn't the settlers who came here learn the languages of the Indians to be able to communicate with them?"

Tyler shrugged his shoulders again.

"Then you said the Indians take our land away and kill women and children." Tyler nodded just a little. "Aiyana, why don't you live with your tribe?"

Aiyana's face defied self-confidence, but those who looked closer into her eyes could see a slight sadness. "Because my tribe doesn't exist any longer."

"I know it's a very sad matter for you, but I'd like you to tell the class why your tribe, your family, is no longer there."

Aiyana didn't breathe or show any other emotions, which indicated how her feelings were at that moment. "They were all killed by soldiers, except for my parents. They were murdered by our chief because they had a different opinion."

It was very quiet in the class, Tylor also looked at her with big eyes. "Only my brother and I have survived because my new father hid us. Otherwise we would have been killed by the soldiers, too."

"Why?"

Although Tyler had only asked very softly, it sounded very loud because it was so quiet in the classroom."

"They wanted us to leave our land where my great-grandfather had already lived. So that it could be sold."

No one in the class said anything, and only Tyler looked at Aiyana first. "That's why you live with the Cartwrights now? Because you don't have a family anymore?"

"Yes, and I'm very glad we can live there, even though our chief was very cruel to my new father. My brother doesn't want to live in any Indian village anymore. He's afraid of Indians and afraid of soldiers."

Both looked at each other in silence.

"Tyler, ..."

The boy looked at Bridget. "I don't want to continue to talk about it today. Just think about what you've just heard, and think about how you'd feel if I came to you and said I want to live in your house from now on because it's so beautiful, and you're supposed to grab your things and go."

"Yes, Mrs. Cartwright."

"Well, then sit down. The elders will get some arithmetics. The little ones all come here to the front, and we will read a story together."

She turned to her desk to take the sheets and hoped that she would be able to teach here as well tomorrow.

XXX

Adam rode to his house and didn't believe his eyes when he realized who was standing there in front of his front door. Slowly he dismounted without letting his opponent out of his eyes. He had expected that Bridget's special history lesson wouldn't be without consequences, but actually he had expected Mr. Burton to go to his father.

"Mr. Burton."

Tyler's grandfather said nothing, but just stared at him. "I don't suppose I need to ask you in. Say what you have to say so that each of us can go back to work."

Burton didn't move. His gaze was still fixed on Adam. "You really think that no one can harm you, just because your name is Cartwright. I never thought I could be so wrong about a man."

"Come on, hit me. That's what you came out here for."

For the first time, since Adam had dismounted, Burton moved. There were, however, only two steps which he made toward Adam. "For what you've done, Adam, I should actually shoot you. Even then, when you went to school with my son, I didn't understand why your father didn't say anything against your friendship with this Indian girl. But that you're ready now to ruin a whole town for this friendship, leaves me speechless and bewildered."

Adam's face hardened even more than before. "Would you sacrifice your family for the railroad? Does progress mean so much to you that a human life doesn't count? Mr. Burton, I thought you were an intelligent man, and I didn't forget that when my father had been away for months, you were doing business with me, though I was quite young. But as it seems, I have been wrong about you."

"You don't have to try to appeal to my feelings as your wife does. That you can do with my grandson, but not with me."

Adam took a step forward. "What happened, that you even abuse Tyler to stir opinion against my family? I've heard that he gets a dollar for every letter he brings home because of my daughter. What's this sudden hatred on me? This can't only be because I haven't sold the land to the railway."

Suddenly Burton grabbed Adam by the collar and pushed him against a post of the porch. "Because you ruined me, Adam! I trusted you and put all my money into the railway project, but since we don't get a connection due to you, I'm broke. I can pack my things because your good reputation with the Indians was more important to you than Virginia City."

He glared at Adam, but gradually his views changed. Powerless and with a void in his eyes, he dropped his arms and walked away a few steps from Adam, and like his whole body, his voice had lost its strength. "Adam, of course I'm not willing to sacrifice people for it, but I've trusted you and the man from the railroad. Otherwise I wouldn't have invested my money with him."

"Mr. Burton, I don't know what you mean! That Virginia City was to be connected wasn't yet official. We only had the contract to build a railway station in Reno. Everything else was just an idea of the railway company."

Shaking his head Burton turned to Adam. "It wasn't, Adam. The man from the railway told me that all the contracts had already been signed. You would have already promised the land to the railway company and received a deposit."

"I did WHAT?"

In complete disbelief, Adam looked at him.

"Money has already been paid, and you haven't kept the contract because the two children have survived, and you have been frightened that it might turn out that you've been involved in the evacuation of the Indian village. Mr. Sundberg said you wanted to tell your friends of the tribe of the Gosiute that they should better move before they suffer the same fate like the Palouse tribe. Then, without losing your face, you could have sold your land."

With his hands clenched in his pockets, Adam stood stiffly as a poker on the porch. "That's what Mr. Sundberg said?"

"Yes, and that we won't be connected to the railroad network because of you."

Burton put his hand to his eyes, and when he took it down, he looked even more exhausted than before. "Adam, part of the money that I gave Mr. Sundberg, should be for the construction of special stations in Virginia City and Carson City, which I should then get back after the opening when the first winnings for the railroad have been entered. But since the contract with you wasn't yet signed, I don't get my money back, because you're denying to having received any money for the construction. The other part of the money should be invested, but since the railroad doesn't come, the investments have dropped so much that nothing of the money's left."

Adam's breathing became faster, and he had to take all his strength so as not to reveal the false wolf, and thus to vent his anger in the wrong place. "Mr. Burton, I assure you that I have never, I repeat, never received any money from Mr. Sundberg to build a station here or in Carson City. Nor did I ever get any money because I wanted to sell my land. Quite the contrary. I've terminated the contract with the railway company, because they're responsible for the extermination of the Palouse's tribe except for the two children, and they intended to do the same with the Gosiute. It wasn't even clear whether the railway network should really go along here. They just wanted to keep this option." Adam took another deep breath. "Mr. Burton, as it seems, Mr. Sundberg wanted to earn some money on the side and has found a welcome victim in you. It was clear to him that you would accept his offer, knowing that we were going to sell our timber to your company. If it had been the truth, you would have made a good deal."

Done, Mr. Burton leaned against the wall of Adam's house. "Adam, are you just telling me straight that I didn't only lose my money, but I've been stuck by a fraud?"

"Just as it looks."

"Adam, how can I explain this to my family? I had hoped that if I'm going to provoke you enough, you'd give me my money back so that I might leave you and your family in peace."

Adam walked up and down the porch, wondering what to do now. Not only did Mr. Burton lose his money, but it also annoyed him that Sundberg had blackened his good reputation so badly. The question was, who else was taken in by him and his stories? He had also tried to play Frederic off against him. Adam stopped his pacing and put his hand to his forehead. Then he turned back to Mr. Burton. "I've got an idea how you could get your money back, but the whole matter isn't entirely harmless, and our dear Sheriff shouldn't know about it either."

"Adam, ..."

Mr. Burton looked at him with pale face. "... I've nothing to lose."

"Well, then we'll do this, ..."

XXXX

"Mr. Burton, ... "

Mr. Sundberg came to meet him as he entered the hotel. "Mr. Sundberg, nice that you could take time for me."

They shook hands and smiled at each other. "I reserved the suite for our conversation."

Burton went to the reception and asked for the room key. Both men went upstairs and didn't talk to each other till in the suite. Sundberg put down his bag and rubbed his hands. "Well, Mr. Burton, now you must tell me how you got Cartwright's land."

Burton tried to remain as calm as possible, though he was as nervous as before his wedding. "I got him there, where you can get every man. His family. I knew that you really wanted to get this land, so I made hell for him and his family. I mean, I lost a lot of money due to this man, just because he's so attached to this riffraff. But ..." Burton looked at him with an exaggerated sad face. "... I've got him small, and he's at the end of his tether. After that, it was easy to make that offer to him. I get the land and leave him and his family alone. I will never forget the fear in his eyes when I told him I had no qualms about cutting the throat of a little Indian boy. I've never had such a good laugh."

Sundberg put his hand on his heart and grinned. "Mr. Burton, ... I must say I'm horrified. But now we come to the business. Do you have the certificate?"

"Have you got the money?"

Sundberg put his bag on the table and opened it. Burton looked in and took some notes in his hand. Then he took a title deed from his jacket pocket and handed it to Mr. Sundberg. They both looked at each other contentedly, then shook hands. "You've still gotten a good deal in the end, Mr. Burton."

"Yes, I'm satisfied and in order for the trip has paid off for you, I've got something for you. But first we should toast to our success."

He went to a small table, opened a bottle of champagne and poured Sundberg and himself a glass. He handed it to the man of the railway company and then took a small sip. With a slight smile he went to the door and opened it a little and waved to someone."Mr. Sundberg. May I introduce you to Yvette? She's a very special friend of mine and will entertain you all night if you like."

Sundberg had his eyes only fixed on Yvette and took another sip from his glass with a benevolent smile. Burton gave Yvette a kiss on the cheek and had his hand already at the door. "Yvette, if you're as nice to him as to me, he might be your new regular and believe me, that would be worthwhile."

With the bag full of money, he left the room and hoped that noone, and especially not his wife, would ever know of what he had just done or said. Burton closed the door and nodded to Adam, who was standing in a dark corner. Then he went with a leisurely pace down the stairs to leave the hotel. Adam didn't have to wait too long, then the room door opened again, and Yvette waved at him. He looked around again and entered the room and looked with a satisfied smile to the bed. "Adam, I won't ask what you put in his drink!"

He went to the bed and touched Sundberg by the arm to see if he was really asleep. Then he grinned at Yvette. "Only herbs. He won't suffer any harm."

"And now? Now what?"

"Now we will make it a little more comfortable for dear Mr. Sundberg."

Adam took off the man's shoes and pants and threw them to the other end of the room. "Well, now it's your turn."

Yvette smiled at him. "I hope you'll be more gentle with me."

Adam raised his hand and just a little cheeky grin crossed his lips. "Very gentle, of course. You can undress yourself."

She pulled a small pout. "Well, I'm used to something different from you."

With an even bigger grin, he went to a small cabinet and took out several bottles. Meanwhile Yvette undressed and lay down on the bed. Adam came up with the bottles to her and looked at her. "Well, cowboy? You've paid me enough for the game, and Mr. Sundberg's still going to sleep for a while."

Adam swallowed and closed his eyes to open them again with a jerk. "Uhm, nope, ... it could be a bit cool. Don't be scared."

Carefully, Adam poured the content of the bottles over Yvette's naked body and spread it carefully. With a somewhat disgusted face she looked down at herself. "Adam, will you tell me what that is? That's not real blood, is it?"

"Better don't ask."

He put the empty bottles on the night table and looked at Yvette again. Then he pointed with his hand that she should lay on Sundberg. A shudder went through her and with a quite uneasy feeling she lay down on Sundberg. "You've got to move a little so that the blood is well spread. Remember, it must look real."

"Adam, do you know how disgusting that feels?"

"No, but it looks good."

She stopped in the movement and looked at him angrily. "I think that's enough! You may lay back!"

She rolled down from Sundberg and looked at Adam grimly. "For this, dear Adam, I'll get at least one of your wonderful kisses."

He bent down to her, but just before their lips touched, he raised his head and kissed her forehead. Smiling, Adam looked at her. "She must be a special woman that you remain so steadfast."

His smile spread to his eyes. "She is. And I hope I'll never hurt her because I might lose control."

He got up and took the bottles off the table. "I'll hide them and then quickly wash my hands. He should be awake soon. Yvette, remember, whatever happens, don't move and don't laugh."

"Adam, it'll be allright, and Adam, ..." With a smile she looked at him. "... you should wash your hands with very cold water."

Shrugging and with a grin he put the bottles back into the closet. He was about to sit down in the chair as Yvette gave him a soft hiss. He looked at Sundberg, who was slowly awaking. Adam walked quietly to his side of the bed and waited a moment. When Sundberg opened his eyes, he grabbed him by the collar, pulled him out of bed, and pushed him into the middle of the room. "You bastard, you've killed her."

Adam had pulled him closer and shouted at him. Sundberg's eyes wandered back and forth, confused. Still, he wasn't really clear in his head and looked at Adam. "Why did you do that?"

He tore Sundberg around so he could look at the bed where Yvette was lying in a pool of blood. Before Sundberg could look closely, Adam turned him back, so he stood with his back to the bed. "I ... I ... have no idea ..."

Sundberg stammered and didn't know what to do. Then Adam pushed the man of the railway company into the other corner of the room so that he was far away from the bed. "Put on your pants. The sight of you causes nausea in me."

Adam pointed to Sundberg's pants, which lay on the floor beside him. With trembling hands, he took his pants and pulled them over. He kept trying to look at Yvette, but Adam wandered around the room so that he couldn't look at the 'corpse'. "I haven't done that."

"Shut up, you bastard!"

With a furious glance Adam stood before him. "Of course it was you. You still had the knife in your hand."

Gradually Sundberg became master of his senses again, trying to take control of the situation. "How do I know that you didn't do it? What are you doing here at all?"

"I was looking for Yvette, and when I was told that she was with a man from the railway company, I immediately realized that must be you."

"So what, Cartwright? It's the job of this bitch."

Adam shouted at him again. "Don't speak of her that way ...!"

He lowered his head and held his hand to his eyes. When he took them away again, they were red and watering slightly. "I know what job she's got, and I can handle it well, but not when she has to go to you."

Sundberg laughed at him. "What's this all about, Cartwright? You don't want to tell me that you felt something for her? Not with the woman you have at home!"

With a grimace Adam laughed. "The spoiled French child? Do you think I married her out of love? No, I had to marry her, or her brother would have thrown me out of the company. I've only loved one woman, and you have murdered her, you filthy bastard. She was pregnant by me, and we wanted to leave Virginia City next week, now that I'm not working in the company anymore."

Adam pulled his gun and pointed it at Sundberg, who went a few steps back. But then he grinned at Adam and slapped his chest with both hands. "Then the Sheriff shall come. I didn't do anything, and that I will tell him. But Cartwright, they'll wonder what you've done here. And if you look more closely, you will realize that you have, like me, blood on your clothes. What will your pretty wife say when I assert in court what you have just told me?"

Wide-eyed Adam stood in front of Sundberg. "You won't do that. Because now ... ", he looked briefly at Yvette,"... I cannot leave any more."

"Well, Cartwright, I'd say we're looking for a different solution to our problem."

Frantic and softly murmuring Adam wandered through the room, the gun always directed to Sundberg. "You killed her, but I also know what a bastard you are, and you'll drag my reputation through the mud, so I have no choice."

He looked back at Yvette with his hand before his mouth. "I'd love to shoot you. You bastard, you have no idea how much I loved her." Adam's breathing grew louder and faster. "All right, Sundberg. You can take your things and go. I'm going to take care of her, but Sundberg, ..." He stood very close to him. "... I have two conditions. ... First of all, I never want to see you here again in Virginia City, and the second, ..." He held the gun right under his chin and something of Sundberg's arrogance disappeared. "... I want to have the land. The land of the Palouse."

He pushed the gun deeper into Sundberg's skin. "That's not mine. It belongs to the railroad and ... "

He didn't want to tell Adam that he had bought the other land from Burton. Sundberg swallowed when Adam pressed the barrel of the gun even more against him. In Adam's eyes he could see what a hatred there was. He didn't doubt that Adam would shoot him without hesitation. Quickly, he thought. The land of the Palouse wasn't as important as the land he had bought from Burton. If he were to explain it to the company, he could persuade them to do without that land. After all it should only be used by the workers during the construction of the railway tracks. Afterwards, the company wanted to sell it anyway. "I will see what I can do."

"No, ... no, not see. "

Adam took the barrel of the gun away, pointing to Yvette. "I must have it. Near the village in the small forest ... there we met for the first time ..." He didn't continue but sobbed aloud. "I want to bury her there. One week, ..." He pointed to the gun again. "In one week, I must have a letter stating what the land should cost, and where I have to transfer the money. And Sundberg, no tricks. I'll find you, you dirty bastard, and then I'll bump you off. I've nothing left to lose."

Not a minute did Sundberg doubt this threat. Adam's eyes were fixed on him and bloodshot. With loud breathing Adam looked at him. Sundberg and Adam flinched when the door was flung open, and Tom stood with pulled gun in the room. He looked at the bed with horrified eyes, then at the two men. Shortly Adam closed his eyes and cursed. They had planned everything, but that Tom would show up here, they didn't expect. Quickly, he wondered what he should do, and he only could think of one thing. Tom had to disappear. So he put his gun away and walked towards him.

"Tom, you cannot imagine what happened here!"

Tom turned to Adam, who pushed the door shut with his foot and then looked at him shrugging. Before Adam's friend knew what was actually happening, Adam had already hit his fist so hard at Tom's face that he was already unconscious before touching the floor. Quickly, Adam turned to Sundberg. "Come on, take your stuff and get out of here."

Sundberg put on his jacket and shoes, looked briefly at Yvette, then hurried to the door. Adam held him by the arm again. "One week, …. no longer ... best tomorrow."

Sundberg nodded and left the room. The door was barely closed, when Adam bent down to his friend.

"Damn!"

Adam got up and went to Yvette, who was about to straighten up. "The Sheriff?"

"And Jörn's father."

Yvette put her hand over her mouth, not to laugh. "Well, you did a real good job. As Jörn wrote me, he's your best friend."

Adam ran both hands through his hair. "We must hurry. Someone must have sent Tom, who will soon ask where he is. Go wash yourself quickly, and I'll take care of the linen."

Always an eye on Tom, Adam pulled the sheets and stuffed them into a sack. He was just about to get the last pillow fresh when Yvette came back dressed. "I'm leaving now, Adam, or do you still need my services?"

He threw the pillow on the bed and looked at her gratefully. "Yvette, you were great. Thank you."

"I've to thank you, Adam, for the fun, and for having you saying so many times how much you loved me."

She stood close to him and gave Adam a kiss that was actually much too long, then stroked his lips slightly. "You cannot blame me for touching and tasting you at least once again."

He shook his head slightly and smiled at her. With one last look at Tom, she disappeared from the room. Adam took the laundry bag, stowed the empty bottles and went to the window. Directly underneath was his carriage. He looked around and then dropped the sack. He bit his lips as he heard the bottles break. He quickly pulled his head back and looked around. As it looked, they had eliminated all traces. In the laundry room there was nothing to see that Yvette had washed away the blood. Then Adam looked down at himself and cursed again. Actually, he just wanted to put on his jacket and then leave town, but he couldn't just leave Tom here. Once again Adam was annoyed that Tom had just burst into the room, but maybe his friend wouldn't look so closely at his pants, and if, Adam could come up with something. Adam put on his jacket and knelt down next to Tom to shake him gently on the shoulder. "Tom, wake up."

Adam jerked back as Tom opened his eyes and immediately came back to his feet. With one hand he grabbed Adam by the jacket and pulled him further into the room. Then he stopped and looked around. "Adam, what happened here? Where's the corpse?"

As innocently as possible, Adam looked at him. "Corpse? What kind of corpse?"

"Adam, I saw the girl who was in the bed, streaming with blood."

Adam raised his shoulders. "There's no girl here."

He grabbed Adam with both hands on the lapel of the jacket. "Adam, where's this other man and don't tell me, there was no other man! Mrs. Flunder from opposite looked through the window as you aimed the gun at a man. She certainly didn't think it up."

Adam's eyes wandered to the window. She'd surely seen him as he'd walked through the room to prevent Sundberg from looking at Yvette. "And, Adam ..." He pointed to his eye. "... there must be a good reason why you hit me, and this pain I don't just imagine."

Tight-lipped Adam looked at Tom's badge and shook his head. He couldn't tell the truth to his friend. Not only had he promised Burton that noone would know that he had fallen victim to a swindler. Adam was determined to get the land of Kajika, and as the case was done for the government and the army, he saw no other way to get the land. Tom followed Adam's gaze. "Buddy, did you do something for which I should put you into jail?"

Adam thought briefly, then shook his head. "Was there a dead girl?" Adam shook his head again. "But it could be that - if I knew the truth - I would have to write a detailed report?"

A barely perceptible nodding from Adam. Tom took his hands off of Adam's jacket and looked at him very seriously. "Adam, has anyone been harmed in this story?"

"Nope."

"Oh, you can talk."

Tom reached for Adam's wrist. "Is that real blood here on your hand and on your pants?"

"Yes, …"

Tom's mouth opened, but before he could say anything, Adam continued. "... but it's animal blood."

"If noone has been harmed and you have done nothing for which I could lock you up, then why you cannot tell me what happened?"

"Well, how can I explain that ..." He scratched his forehead with his thumb. "So, when Jörn stole the horse, he did a theft, but actually he only got his property back, and well, with me it wasn't a horse, but otherwise it could be compared with Jörn's case. And Jörn wasn't condemned."

Tom looked back around the room. "Adam, you assure me there is no corpse?"

"No corpse, Tom. You know me, I would never cover up a murder."

"Well, but ..." Adam didn't lose consciousness, like Tom, but he went to his knees when his friend's fist met him. "... at some point I'd like to know the truth of what happened here."

Adam still shook his head to clear up again when Tom was already on his way out. "And Buddy, don't you dare be coming to dinner late on Saturday. And you should do something with your eyes. They don't look good."

Then Tom slammed the door shut.

XXXXX

Sundberg leaned into the cushion of the stage coach and breathed a sigh of relief when they left Virginia City behind. He had reached the stage coach in the last second. He was glad he was the only passenger. So noone could see the blood on his hands and clothes. He took off his jacket and his shirt to dress in a fresh one. He would simply pull the gloves over his hands until he could wash them somewhere. After he put the jacket back on, he looked at his watch and wondered that it wasn't so very late. Actually, he had thought he had drunk so much with the girl that he couldn't remember anything, but if his watch ran correctly, just two hours had passed since he met Burton in the hotel room. Then a shiver ran down his spine, and he reached into the pocket of his jacket, but the document for the land was gone. He gritted his teeth furiously. As it looked, Burton and Cartwright had played a trick on him. Then he looked again at his bloody hands. That was real blood. He recognized that immediately. So the corpse was real, and it was only for Burton to get his money back, and for Cartwright to get the land of the slained Indians? He shuddered at the thought that the two men were ready to commit a murder. In the next town, he would immediately contact the company so that Cartwright would get an offer for the land. After all, who committed a murder, wasn't afraid to commit a second, and that Cartwright was insane, he had clearly seen in his eyes. With such a man he wouldn't pick an argument.

XXX

"Adam, finally you're here."

Adam closed the door behind him and slowly took off his hat. "Have you forgotten that we had an appointment?"

He didn't turn to Hoss as he took off his belt. Tom had been standing in front of the hotel for quite a while, and so Adam had avoided to go to his carriage. He didn't want his friend to see the bloody bed sheets, and he shouldn't know how Adam removed them. "I was held up, Hoss. Sorry about that. I would never forget that we wanted to go out for a drink, because you will become a father again."

Hoss smiled proudly all over his face. Adam still didn't turn to his brother. "Hoss, where's Bridget?"

"She's just tucking Aiyana in."

In a reflex Adam looked at the clock. "Already?"

"I told you, it's late. ... Adam, ..." Hoss lowered his head slightly to better watch his brother's face. "What happened? Did you get into a fight? ... Adam, what about your eyes?"

Adam rubbed his eyes with his hand. He had hoped that they were no longer that red, but that wasn't the case considering the expression on Hoss' face. So he shrugged somehow embarrassed, and at his brother's next words he blew up his cheeks and looked at him with wide eyes. "Adam, is that blood on your clothes?"

Adam grabbed Hoss by the arm and pulled him to the stairs. "Come along. I'll change my clothes quickly."

When Hoss saw Adam's bloodstained clothes in the room, he looked at him with a mixture of worry and anxiety. "Adam, what did you do? If you just broke someone's nose, it wouldn't leave so much blood."

"Hoss, that's just animal blood."

Hoss frowned. "Did you smoke with Amarok again?"

Adam laughed. "No, I was in town."

After he quickly washed off the blood, he took a new shirt and put it on.

"And to whom do you owe for the black eye?"

"That was Tom."

"TOM? ... Adam, can you please tell me now what happened? I feel like Little Joe's standing in front of me trying to portray one of his hair-raising stories as completely harmless."

With his pants in his hand, Adam looked at his brother and then told him the whole story. Hoss laughed loudly. "And good old Tom swallowed it?"

"I assume that I'm now under special observation with him."

Hoss put his arm around Adam. "And Yvette ... ..? ... You just let her go? I mean, now and then you've taken it upon yourself to meet her for the night."

Slowly, with a serious look, Adam tilted his head to look directly at Hoss. "Yes, Adam, that might interest me, too!"

Shocked, Adam took a step to the side and looked at Bridget, who stood with arms crossed in the doorway. "I ... of course …. did you hear everything?"

She went to the bed and took Adam's bloodstained clothes. "Enough to know that the stains are very hard to get out again."

She pulled the belt out of his pants and handed it to Adam. When she reached into his pockets, she stopped briefly. Then she looked at Adam, opened her hand and showed him the content. "I think your Yvette left you a parting gift."

There were two coins in her hand. Adam closed his eyes. Yvette must have put them in his pocket when she kissed him goodbye. She had had her hands everywhere. "Bridget, I ..."

His eyes looked pityingly and helpless at her. She, however, left the room without paying any further attention to him. "I think I'll put them with the other coins. You'd better pay attention to what you have in your pockets."

Adam dropped his shoulders and looked helplessly at Hoss. "Hoss, we can't go out today. I've got to talk to her that I didn't ..., well ..."

His brother pressed his hand against his back and pushed him out of the room. "Big brother, do you think Bridget would be so relaxed if she didn't know that the coins are old, and she can trust you? With whom do you think she talked right away, when she found your other coins?"

Adam stopped with his hand before his eyes. "But not with Koko?" Adam peered through his fingers at Hoss, who was still grinning. "I'll pack my things and go to San Francisco."

Hoss' laugh echoed through the house. "Your things will remain here nicely, and we'll both ride to my home and ask Koko what powder the shaman has given you for your eyes. As you look, I cannot go to any saloon with you." He looked back at his brother." That must burn pretty bad, Adam?"

"It's all right. They itch very strongly, so I have to rub constantly."

Hoss opened the front door and let his brother proceed. "And on the way to the farm you have to tell me how you explained to Tom what happened in this room."

XXXX

Ben looked out of the window again. Adam had been standing with his horse for ten minutes without moving. So he took a deep breath and went out to him. "Good evening, Adam."

With the reins in his hand, but without lifting his head, he greeted his father. "Adam, we have late February, and it's still quite cold. So maybe it would be good if you were to tell me what was going on before we catch a cold."

Adam pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to his father, who whistled acknowledgingly as he passed the lines. "How did you get it? I've been trying to buy it from the railway company since last year."

Adam looked at his father in surprise. "Do you think it left me completely untouched, what happened there? I think, even if Kajika has of course made a big mistake when he was tangling with the army, the tribe doesn't deserve to be forgotten, and that will inevitably happen if the railway company plans to develop this area."

Rather downcast, Adam put his hands in his pockets. "Let's say, I had a special conversation with one of the men from the railway company."

Ben looked horrified at his son. "Adam, you didn't do anything illegal to get this offer?"

Adam put his hands deeper into his pockets and grinned slightly. "If I accept the offer, the land belongs to me legally. I think that's the most important thing."

"And where's the problem? Why do I feel you don't want to buy it?"

"Pa, I'd buy it immediately, but they charge a very high price for it, and ..." He looked down again, exhaling loudly. "... I cannot afford so much with all my best intentions. Frederic and I are working on a new project, and for that I need the money. But I also know that I don't need to negotiate with the railroad. Either I accept the offer or leave it."

Adam took his hands out of his pockets, leaned against the fence with both hands, turning his back to his father, who looked at the letter in his hand. "Yes, they demand an exorbitant price for the land, but I think in this case money shouldn't matter."

"Pa, I cannot expect neither from Frederic nor Bridget that they understand that I almost spend all my money on a land on which I will neither build nor work on."

Ben put a hand on Adam's back. "You've done a lot for Aiyana, Chesmu and for the Indians. I think it's time that they see that they also get support from others. I'll buy the land, and if I have the certificate, I will go there with Aiyana and show her the land that will belong to her later."

Adam was standing straight. "Pa, I cannot ask that of you. It's my way, and I'm already pulling enough people into it. That's why I hesitated, whether I should go to you or not."

"Adam, I sometimes get the feeling that you think the Indians are yours. Yours alone. But this isn't so. Anyone who wants to, can accompany you on your way, and therefore, son, I can also give my granddaughter a piece of land."

Before Adam could say anything, Ben raised his hand. "You cannot talk me out of this, Adam. Aiyana and Chesmu have a right to this land, and I will discuss with Aiyana, how we can still pay our last respects to her tribe. Because for me it is a horrible idea that they were all thrown into the pit and then covered up."

Adam nodded relieved and Ben put his arm around his son. "Then let's go in, so that I can gather everything to go to the bank tomorrow morning, so that the railway company gets the money."

"Thank you, Pa."

Ben slapped him slightly on the shoulder. "Adam, what I've wanted to ask you for a few days. What did you actually do with your eyes? They look so inflamed."

XXXXX

Satisfied Adam closed the barn door. As it looked, everything had turned out well in the end. Tom didn't ask any more questions, his father had helped him with the acquisition of the land, and in school anger has also subsided. For this, he gladly accepted the shiner of Tom and his still slightly red eyes. Mr. Tanner and Frederic also understood each other well and thus nothing was in the way of their project. So just before springtime, it couldn't be any better, and that Koko and Hoss would have another baby, pleased him even more. Just before he opened the front door, he smiled slightly. It was Saturday evening and if they were lucky the children would fall asleep early. Then he could still have some nice hours at the fireplace with Bridget. He opened the door in good mood and with a great deal of momentum, but already, as he took his stuff off, he wondered about the noise that came from the dining room. Quite dumbfounded he stood at the door to the dining room and his eyes fell on eight children who laughing ate their supper. Adam looked aside as Bridget touched his arm. "I'm glad you've made it in time for supper."

He scratched his chest and looked at her questioningly. "Did I miss something?"

"Somehow this happened in the afternoon. Adam, it's Saturday night. They all wanted to go into town to dance, and we have plenty of room here. I thought it wouldn't bother you, and since Sunday dinner will take place here anyway, the children will be able to stay here over night."

"All of them?"

"Yes."

He looked briefly at the ceiling. Then he pulled her close and put his arms around her. He whispered softly to her. "Yes, it's Saturday night, and I thought we both could sit in front of the fire place to ..."

He didn't talk any further, but started to caress her neck tenderly, then gently moved to her mouth with his lips. As his kiss intensified, she pushed him away slightly, looking at him amused. "Adam, the kids ..."

He looked to the table where it was very quiet, and besides Emilie, all the children looked at them with a grin. "I'll sit with you in front of the fireplace today, even if I have to wait until after midnight, till the whole gang is finally asleep."

She put her hands akimbo and tried to look at him as seriously as possible. "And I won't be asked if I want that at all?"

He grinned, gave her a kiss and went to his place. "No, because you took away all my coins, I have to spend the evening with you."

He knew that it was better now to have his eyes focused on the table for the next few minutes.

XXX

It was just before midnight, and Tom had decided to make another round through town before he would go home. He was still pretty done by the weekend. Although it was late February, many strangers had visited town on Saturday. Especially one group who had always caused trouble, but Henry and he couldn't accuse them of anything that would have been enough to lock them up or drive them out of town. However, since he hadn't seen them today, he was in good mood that they had left Virginia City to move on.

Tom tightened his jacket and looked across the road. There was a waggon, which had already caught his attention in the afternoon. He remembered that a boy had been sitting in the front and had been watching the store of Mr. Norten. As it appeared, the waggon hadn't been moved ever since. Tom looked around and crossed the street. The rear part of the waggon was open. The tarp was rolled up. He glanced inside. There was a sleeping roll, but noone was in the waggon. His head twitched to the left as he heard voices in the little alley beside him. With his hand on the gun he ran in direction of the voices.

"How can you be so stupid! Did you have to kill her?"

Tom saw a man beating another man against his chest. "Jack, don't go making a fuss. Finally, you also had your fun."

"But I make a difference between fun and gallows. But Luke must always exaggerate. I don't hold my head down for him. I'm leaving."

The man turned and tried to run down the alley, as Tom pulled out his gun. "Stop and hands up."

The man who stood two yards from Tom, drew his gun, but before he could pull the trigger, he slumped to the ground already shot. The deputy pointed the gun at the other two men who looked shocked at their friend on the ground. Tom cautiously approached them and took the two guns from their holsters. Then he held his breath. Behind some boxes in the corner lay a young woman with a knife in her throat. Tom looked back at the men and immediately realized that it was the two from the weekend. Sure, the man who lay dead on the ground was the third of the group Henry and he had liked to see behind bars. Tom pointed with the gun that the two should start walking.

"If you only make a wrong move, it'll be a pleasure for me to arrange a meeting with your friend. Come on."

They had just reached the end of the alley when a little boy stood in front of them and spoke to one of the men. „Dónde está mi madre?"


	76. Chapter 76

The boy looked at the man and waited for an answer. Tom looked back into the alley. The dead woman wouldn't be the boy's mother? "Do you know the boy?"

The man who had been addressed by the boy nodded slightly, and the answer came so softly that Tom could bearly understand him. "He belongs to her."

The deputy gasped, but it didn't take long to catch himself again and he pushed one of the men in the back with the barrel of his gun. "Go on, get going, and you kid, come with us."

Scared and uncomprehending the boy looked at Tom. He grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled the kid with him. In any case, he wanted to prevent him from seeing the woman in the alley. Whether she was really his mother or not.

XXX

With a loud clank, Tom dropped the cell keys on the table and looked at the boy who was sitting on the bench, looking at him with wide eyes. He wondered what he should do now. He not only had to wake up Henry but also had to go back as soon as possible to that little alley before someone else would find the woman. "What's your name?"

"Bernardo."

"Bernardo, I've got to go again ..."From a closet next to the desk Tom took a blanket and a small pillow and took it to the bench. "You look very tired. You should get some sleep."

He tried to look at Bernardo as confidently as possible as he laid the pillow on the bench and spread the blanket. "Mi madre?"

Tom calmed the boy and covered him. "We'll find her. Now try to sleep. I'll be back soon."

Bernardo sat up again, pointing to the cells. "No, ... los hombres pueden decir dónde está mi madre."

"Please Bernardo, ..." Tom put his hand on his shoulder. "... lie down and get some sleep. I'll look for your mother and ask the men, but now I must go to wake the Sheriff."

Slowly Bernardo lay down on the bench, but his eyes were fixed on Tom, who took the keys from his desk and walked to the door. "Bernardo, I am relying on you to wait for me."

Since the boy didn't answer, but followed him with his eyes, he prayed that the kid had understood him and wouldn't get up to look for his mother as soon as he had left the office.

XXX

Rusthon knelt next to the man who had been mortally wounded by Tom's bullet, and with a serious expression he looked at the boxes. "We should have locked them up."

"Henry, what did you always tell me? Stick to the law. Don't just lock someone up, just because you don't like his nose."

Slowly the Sheriff stood up to take a look at the woman. "Sometimes I hate myself for my advice. Tom, she could still be alive if we had locked the three up on the weekend."

Tom exhaled loudly. He didn't want to comment on Henry's statement now, knowing that he was just as tired and as shocked as he was. "I'm going to get the doc and then go back to the office."

Hands placed on the belt, Rusthon looked along the alley. "You're worried about the boy?"

"Henry, I just want to prevent him from going to look for his mother and come here. I'm sure he already suspects something's wrong."

Rusthon slapped him on the back and nodded. Tom hurried to wake up Doc Martin and to explain to him briefly what had happened, then headed back to the office where he realized with relief that Bernardo was still there. He was still lying on the bench, but his eyes were very small, and he raised his head slightly. "Mama….?"

Carefully Tom covered Bernardo again. "Sleep now, son. We'll talk tomorrow."

The boy looked at him for a while, but then his eyes became so tired that he fell asleep. Also quite done, Tom put on a fresh pot of coffee and sat behind the desk. There was no doubt that in the next few hours he couldn't waste a minute on sleep.

XXX

With his back to the office and the view directed to the street, Rusthon went through everything they knew so far, and what the two men had told them. After that there should be no problems for the judge to make a rather quick decision. He turned back to Tom and his eyes fell on the boy who was still asleep. "What do we do with him? It may take several weeks until we get an answer from Mexico, as to whether the boys has relatives to care for him or not."

Tom leaned against the desk and shrugged. "He only talked to me in Spanish, although I got the impression that he understood a lot of what I said."

The Sheriff took the reports of the night from the table, and still looked at the boy. "We could keep him at Jaime's for a short time."

"I don't think that's a good idea. He would certainly not reject it, but he just makes ends meet for his own family. No Henry, we need another solution."

With the documents in hand, the Sheriff put on his hat. "Tom, I'm going to see the judge and explain the facts to him. You can still think about it, and Tom, ..." He stopped at the door and looked at his deputy with a worried look. "... when you've had breakfast with the boy, ... do you think you can manage to take him to Doc Martin, to ensure that it really is his mother?"

Tom rubbed his eyes, crossed his arms and nodded slowly. "I'll manage that. I'll take him home for breakfast, and who knows, perhaps Sybil can think of some where Bernardo could stay."

"I knew it was the right decision to make you a deputy. You got it. Just how it should be to survive in this job. Because it won't get easier in the near future, Tom. We will have such criminals here in increasing number in future. The gold attracts them all. The good as well as the bad."

He opened the door and pulled it quietly shut behind him, after he had once again nodded to his deputy. For a long time Tom still looked at the closed door. Yes, he too, didn't regret that he had made this decision. He wouldn't have been so happy on the ranch. Although it was sometimes very exhausting, and he felt that Sybil was always happy when he came home safely, he would always do it again and again. Tom pushed away from the table, knelt down beside the bench, and touched Bernardo gently on the shoulder. "Bernardo, wake up."

Several times the boy blinked, then sat up with momentum. "Mi madre, ... está aqui? "

With his hand on Bernardo's shoulder, Tom shook his head slightly. "I want you to go to eat something with me, and then we're going to look for your mother."

The boy tilted his head and looked at him in astonishment. So Tom put his hand on his belly and then raised it to his mouth. "Food."

Bernardo lowered his head and looked to the cells, and very softly he asked again for his mother. Tom closed his eyes. If he were in Bernardo's place, he wouldn't be able to think of food either. He would also want to know what happened to his mother. So Tom took a deep breath and decided that he would go first to Doc Martin with the boy and then take him to his home. "Come with me. We're going to look for your mother."

XXX

Quite relieved and satisfied, Tom entered the office. He had had the idea at dinner, and Sybil had encouraged him to try. And as he had expected, he hadn't been disappointed. There couldn't be any better place for Bernardo to come to terms with the fact that his mother had been murdered.

As soon as the boy had entered the room with Doc Martin, he had already recognized his mother. It had broken the deputy's heart to watch the boy standing at the table, crying for his mother. He had given him time, but then Doc Martin gave him a sign that it might be better to leave. So he had taken him by the shoulder and had gone home with him. As softly and gently as possible, he had tried to comfort him. He hoped that Sybil would find a little comfort for the boy until he came to pick him up later.

Henry sat at the table and skipped through a telegram, which he then passed on to him. "As it seems, we've got the right crooks locked up. They are wanted for bank robbery and several hold ups on stagecoaches."

Tom dropped onto the chair and ran his hand over his face. He looked at his boss, who still admonished that they hadn't locked up the three men on the weekend. "Henry, we couldn't have prevented it. Even if we had locked them up here for one night. We had no reward posters for the three, and just because they had run riot, we wouldn't have examined them more closely."

Rusthon massaged his neck with his hand. "I know. I'm only annoyed because we both knew that they were weirdos and couldn't do anything. The only good thing is that the judge will assess today whether a hearing can take place or not. Tom, I want you to put down your head at home this afternoon in order to take over the second night watch."

"Will do."

"What about the boy? Did you find a place for him?"

"I did. At the moment he's still at my home. I will ..." He looked at the clock. "... pick him up in about two hours so he can get some things out of the waggon for the next few weeks."

XXX

"Hello Little Joe!"

"Dianne, ..."

With a cheeky grin, Joe turned to his classmate. "Do you wanna spend the break with me?"

Little Joe's grin grew wider. "Of course, Dianne. Come on."

He took her arm and pulled her behind the schoolhouse. They were hardly out of sight of the others, when Little Joe leaned forward and kissed Dianne gently on her mouth. Slightly embarrassed and with blushing cheeks she looked at Joe then. "You haven't done this for a long time, Little Joe."

Joe leaned casually against the wall of the schoolhouse. "I had to help so much at the ranch, and, well, here at school, I want to restrain as long as my sister-in-law is our teacher. So she doesn't have to tell everything to my brother."

With a shy smile Dianne put her hands on her back and looked at him with a dreamy look. "Joe, ..."

"Dianne, the break is almost over ..."

He came closer again and kissed her, but this time a little longer. "We could do that at every break, Dianne."

"Joe, ... does that mean you're going to the first spring dance with me in two weeks?"

Astonished, Little Joe raised his eyebrows. "Nope, because ... I'm going with Tammy."

"Tammy?"

"You've got to understand ..." His eyes wandered to her dress at chest level. "... I, ... I mean, you're only fourteen, and Tammy's already seventeen and ... "

Dianne's eyes widened and she looked at her upper body and immediately knew what Little Joe was thinking about. "But to go with you behind the schoolhouse, it is enough?"

She had snapped at him that he went back two steps and then embarrassed scratched his head. "I mean, ... well, ..."

"You're so mean, Joseph Cartwright. Do you really think I wouldn't notice, that you've met not only with Tammy, but also with Lucy and Sandra?"

Tears gathered in her eyes. "I never want to have anything to do with you again."

She looked at him again and then ran. "Dianne, ...!"

Joe still wanted to hold her, but she pulled away. "… Wait, please!"

With his head hanging down, he looked after her, then went back slowly, shrugging his shoulders when Jörn came up to him with an astonished gaze. "What happened, Joe? Why is Dianne so beside herself? "

Jörn looked in the direction in which the girl had gone. "I ... well, .. I told her that I'm going to the spring dance with Tammy and not with her."

Jörn looked closely at his friend. "And you had to tell her that behind the schoolhouse?"

Joe just grinned at his friend who groaned loudly. "No, Joe, that's not true! You didn't kiss her again, and then you told her, you're going with Tammy?"

"Why not? Oh, come on Jörn, why did you ever date Tammy? Only because she already ..."

Joe put his hands on his chest and grinned cheekily, but then looked confused at his friend as Jörn pushed him against the shoulder. "For goodness sake, Joe, don't you see how much Dianne likes you? She's got eyes only for you, and what are you doing? You only use her."

Embarrassed, Joe looked at him, slightly blushing. "Well, I like her, but she's still a kid."

Jörn rolled his eyes. "Oh my God, Joe, sometimes it's really hard to be friends with you."

Jörn left him and returned to the other students. With slumped shoulders Joe followed him and made a mental note to apologize to Dianne. However, she had already apologized to Bridget that she wasn't doing well, and she wanted to go home. Joe couldn't tell her how sorry he felt for the next few days because she didn't come to school for more than a week.

XXX

Bridget just sorted the last pins into the box when Adam entered the classroom. He threw his hat on a table and with a smile he came to the teacher's desk. "Adam, what are you doing here? Where are the children?"

He lovingly put his arms around her waist and pulled Bridget closer. "The little ones are on the Ponderosa and Aiyana is at Riccardo to ride to the village after dinner."

Tenderly, he began to nibble on her earlobe. "Adam ..." She couldn't help but smile. "… We're not at home. Anyone can come in here any time."

With one hand he pressed her pelvis closer, and with the other he ran through her hair, then covered her neck with many little kisses. "At home, the children will be there later, and when work will start again, I won't be home for almost three weeks. Bridget, I love our children, but I miss our own private hours."

She began to giggle. "And now you want them here in the classroom?"

With a very gentle and longing glance he looked at her and approached her lips. "We could say I had detention."

She let herself be kissed, but when he became more and more demanding and was pressing her against the table, she let go off him. "Adam, ..."

"What ...?"

He wanted to get back with his lips to her neck, when she strongly pressed her hands against his chest. "I'm expecting someone, and you left the door wide open."

Adam breathed deeply and with a disappointed glance he looked at Bridget. "This way we will never get our house filled."

She walked around the table, took the box with the pens and stowed it in the drawer. "Adam, ... Emilie isn't even one year old."

She closed her eyes for a moment, gathered herself again, then looked at him with a deep sigh. "When you're back, we're gonna have time for us."

His eyes went to the ceiling and he tried to control his impatience.

"Do you mind ...?"

"Yes …."

Adam instantly thought why his friend had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time lately. "Adam, ..."

Bridget gave him a rather annoyed look and walked around the desk to Tom. "Of course not. Come closer, I've been waiting for you."

Adam looked to his friend and raised an eyebrow. In front of Tom stood a boy who had to be slightly older than Riccardo. A little disappointed at the course of the last minutes, Adam took his hat and wanted to leave the schoolhouse.

"Please wait."

Bridget held him by the arm. "Tom was with me this morning and asked me if we could let Bernardo stay with us for some time until his relatives come to pick him up."

Adam looked from Bridget to his friend and then at the boy. "What's he doing here alone in Virginia City?"

The deputy was looking for the right words. "Well, his ..."

He looked helplessly at the boy, and Bridget spoke for him. "His húŋku has been ahíthiktepi."

Adam took a deep breath. "Why us?"

"Adam, ... just because you've been a bit annoyed, you don't have to vent that on Tom or the boy."

Bridget's eyes glared at him again. Adam looked at the boy, who looked at him with an appraising look.

"Henry wanted to take him to Jaime, but you know as well as I do, Adam, that he always has to watch that he manages to make ends meet for his own children. That's why I thought, since you can speak Spanish, you could take Bernardo with you for that time."

Adam pulled his hat deeper into his face and muttered softly to himself. "I've got a horse outside with a few things for the next few weeks. I would then contact you for the trial and the ... " Tom stroked the boy's head. "... the funeral."

Adam laid his hands on his belt and looked into the round. "Then I will ride on ahead." He looked at Bridget. "You can follow with him."

Bridget put her hand on his arm. "Please take him with you. I have to talk to Tom about Jörn, and Adam, ..." She looked at him with gentle eyes. "... for our little problem we will find a solution."

He brushed his hand over his eyes, then nodded and put his hand on Bernardo's shoulder as he went off. "Vamos."

Bernardo looked from Tom to Bridget. With a gentle nudge Tom pushed the boy in Adam's direction. "Go with him. Remember what I told you. He's my friend and will take care of you with Bridget. "

With slumped shoulders Bernardo followed Adam.

XXXXX

Riccardo and Bernardo were sitting on the fence, watching Adam breaking horses. "Your uncle doing well."

Riccardo slapped Bernardo against the arm. "He's the best, and when I'm old enough, I will be just as good."

"Good with horse, but not good with me."

Adam's nephew cocked his head. "He's not nice to you? I can't believe that. Adam likes children."

The Mexican boy shook his head, "No, no, do not want me, and do not now."

Both boys flinched slightly when Adam got at their height with the bucking horse. Riccardo jumped up. "Show him, Uncle Adam." Then he looked back at Bernardo, who shared the excitement just as Riccardo. "He likes you, but he has had a really tense year. And if the work's going to start again, then he's not complaining so much. Says my father at least."

They sat down again and watched as Adam got off the horse, talked to Tico and took a sip from the canteen. "Have you heard anything from Mexico? If anyone comes to get you?"

Bernardo's body sagged slightly. "No one coming. Mama and I alone."

"Did you tell Uncle Adam or Tom?" Bernardo just shook his head. "Why not? They need to know that. Then they no longer need to look."

"Not let alone mi madre."

"You want to stay here, since your mother is buried here?"

"Si."

Riccardo looked sympathetically at the other boy. "This won't work. My father said that if they don't find relatives, then you must go to an orphanage, and the next one is quite far away."

"No ... nunca ... I stay here."

Looking at his new friend Riccardo felt that he was afraid of the thought that he had to leave. "Hey, ..." Riccardo slapped him at the arm again. "... you will definitely stay here until the trial's over, and my uncle always says you should live the moment and don't look anxiously into the future. Look, he takes the next horse."

The boys watched as the gate was opened and the horse went off. "Come on, Uncle Adam, ..."

This time they didn't flinch, because Adam came too close, but because he was thrown quite roughly. He had so much momentum that he flew across half the corall. What shocked Riccardo most was that his uncle didn't - as usual - immediately get up again.

Adam had already guessed that this ride was one too many when he had gotten into the saddle. But as so often lately he didn't listen to reason. In normal circumstances he would have ridden to his mountain before the roundup. But since Bridget was working at school, he couldn't leave her alone with the children, and especially not since Bernardo lived here. He was annoyed at himself that he didn't treat him the way he actually should. The boy hadn't only lost his mother, but he would also have to testify against the two men in court, and to this day they hadn't received any positive news from Mexico.

So he lay on the ground and held his breath. Not only the impact had been very painful, but also the aching in his back. Adam had felt the tingling in his fingers during the last ride, but he thought he was going to make it. But the moment when the feeling in his fingers was gone, he was already flying from his horse in a high arc and was taught something better. Now he didn't dare to move. But as he saw from the corner of his eye the first cowboys were running toward him, he stood up as fast as he could, and waved them off. He smiled at them, went to the fence and leaned against it. He would have liked to scream with rage and pain, but he only reached for his chain and sought the silence in himself. Adam closed his eyes and focused on his breathing.

"Señor Adam?"

He opened his eyes and looked into the worried face of Bernardo. "Todo está bien?"

With a deep breath, Adam stood upright. "Yes, Bernardo. I'm fine. You don't have to worry."

He looked over his shoulder and saw the cowboys getting the horse ready for the next ride. With a half-hearted smile he looked back at the boys. "I have to go back."

Adam was about to go to Tico when he was stopped by Riccardo. "Uncle Adam …?"

Frederic's son looked at him closely and shook his head almost imperceptibly. No sound came over his lips, but Adam could read exactly when he said - 'Don't'. Then Riccardo looked at his left hand. Adam followed his gaze and completely unconsciously made a fist and opened it again. Then he put his left hand on the snake and his right hand on his nephew's shoulder and nodded. Without talking to the boys, he went to Tico to tell him that he wouldn't go on today, and only when he knew nobody watched him he put a hand on his back.

XXX

Koko stood at the kitchen window and looked out in amazement. She hadn't expected Adam in the late afternoon, especially not so close before the roundup. She dried her hands on a cloth and watched as he dismounted and was frightened. Everyone else wouldn't have noticed, but she had known Adam for almost twenty years. He didn't need to tell her, and she also didn't need to look him in the eyes to know if something depressed him or he was in pain. The way he had just climbed off the horse and was now standing in front of it, she knew very well that her friend hadn't only gathered quite a lot of stones on his soul, but that he also had to suffer physically. Koko put the cloth aside and went outside to Adam. "What happened, Wynono?"

Adam smiled at her. He knew as she stood there and looked at him, he shouldn't dare to beat around the bush or claim that he just wanted to visit her. "Three days ago, I went off a horse a bit roughly."

"Sport?"

"No, ... when breaking horses."

With a deep sigh and a very angry glare she looked at him. "You've overdone it again, and dare you to deny. Adam, what's that supposed to achieve? Why do you keep on trying to prove something to yourself and the others? Before Kajika you also stopped, when you realized that it was enough. Why not now?"

He ran his hand over his eyes and then over his mouth. Then he took a deep breath and dropped his arms. "I can't get rid of this unrest. I've just made it to the mountain twice this year, and now, before spring, I should have been going, too, but now I don't know when."

Compassionately, Koko looked at him. Although he had recovered physically in winter, he would have never been able to muster the strength to go on the mountain for several days, and then it got just too cold and too dangerous to spend the nights up there. "And where do you have pain, in the leg or in the back?"

"In the back. ... I'm sorry, Koko. I know I've promised you to take care, but ... "He shrugged.

"Take off your shirt, I'll be right back."

As she walked back into the house, he unbuttoned his shirt and laid it on the table in front of the bench. Koko returned with a bowl and some cloths and leaves. "Where are Hoss and Travis?"

Adam leaned with his arms on the table and Koko began to gently distribute the paste out of the bowl onto his back. "Hoss went to the village with Liwanu. He wanted to talk with my father about how many horses we want to take from him in spring."

Now she put some leaves on his back and fixed them with a bandage. "You can take it off tonight. It will get a bit warm, and if Bridget repeats this during the next two days, you should be able to start spring without problems."

The look Adam gave her, told her that he hadn't informed Bridget that he had been thrown off the horse. "Adam, do you really think she doesn't get it? I don't understand why you aren't telling her about this, but want to present her a done deal if it really comes to the worst?"

Carefully, he put on his shirt again and then sat down on the bench. "I just don't want her to worry too much about me."

"Adam, ..." She sat down to him. "... she gets more than you think, even if she doesn't always tell you. Just trust her. Then she can help you better."

He felt the warmth spreading on his back and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the soothing feeling.

"What else bothers you? I don't need to look into your eyes to see not only your restlessness, but also the wrong wolf being very alert in you."

Adam crossed his arms and opened one eye to look at her from the side. She tilted her head. "Do you regret that you agreed to Bridget working at school again?"

He cocked his head and looked up into the sky, and Koko had to smile when she saw how he was struggling to talk. He continued to look at the clouds as he began to talk. "We've got almost no time for us. First it was Chesmu who had slept so badly, then Emilie had so many problems with her teeth, and now it's Bernardo, who finds it very difficult to sleep, and when there's finally silence, then ... " He was looking for the right words, "... it's already very late." He took a deep breath. "And if we get finally ten minutes for us alone, I'm sent away."

He didn't look at her any further, and she smiled. "Wynono, your small family has had a lot to experience and to come to terms with in its first year. Bridget and you have managed it very well. Noone could have guessed that Mr. Conner would cease to work in winter, and that Bridget would like to have her peace, too, you have to understand. She has children around her all day long, and when she's going to have a breather, you come around. Have you ever thought that she was there only for the children and you since last year? You two haven't even had a little honeymoon. You went straight into everyday life, and, here I don't exclude myself, you always took the children of the others at the weekends, so we could go to town, but what about you? When have you been out the last time for dancing with Bridget or going out for dinner?"

For a while he said nothing, but looked up at the sky. "Then she shouldn't have been persuaded by Tom to take Bernardo with us."

His voice was reflecting all the restlessness and anger he felt at the moment. "I've been wondering when you couldn't restrain the wrong wolf any longer. I have already heard that you're quite aloof regarding the boy."

The bench wobbled as he stood up quite violently and walked a few steps from the house. Koko gave him time to calm down. After he had turned to her again, he let his head hang slightly and looked with half-closed eyes to the ground. Thoughtfully he ran his fingers over his forehead. "We still have no news from Mexico, and if it's true what Riccardo told me, we won't find anyone there. And let's be honest, if there was someone, she wouldn't have been on the road with the boy alone."

With her hand, Koko slapped the bench beside her. Adam put his hands on his belt, and with his head cocked, he looked at her. Then he pulled himself together and sat down beside her.  
"And is it Bernardo's fault that he was travelling alone with his mother?"

"Of course not, but how shall it go on with him? I had hoped that the trial would be over before the roundup, but due to the fact that the judge became sick, trial won't start but in about two weeks. Thus, he will still be here when I get back."

A little surprised, she looked at him from the side as he sat there with his arms crossed and staring straight ahead. "Adam, what's the matter with you? Usually you're always the first to lovingly care for a child when it needs help, but right now I see nothing."

"Couldn't he have stayed with Tom? When the trial is over, he certainly will be living with us for two months. Will my good friend Tom or Bridget take him to the orphanage then? No, I will have to do that."

Koko sensed how he got upset again and barely could restrain himself. She put her hand on his leg, and Adam put his head back against the wall. "That's why you don't admit any feelings for him? Because you're afraid you might love him dearly?"

"That way it'll be easier for us all."

Koko sat sideways to him so that she could look Adam right into the face. "Wynono, look at me and tell me you didn't even think about keeping the boy with you, if Tom cannot find any family members."

He didn't look at her, but closed his eyes. "Koko, I've got no choice. I've been expecting much of all of us when I kept Aiyana and Chesmu. I cannot do that again. I cannot take a kid every year." Now he turned his head to her with a small smile. "I cannot, as Hoss does, collect everything that has no parents.

"Just as I know you, you haven't talked to Bridget about what concerns you."

"Haven't you just told me that I have already expected a lot of her in this first year?"

"No, I said she had to take a lot of care of you and the children, but she didn't regret for even one minute to have the children. This time not you have brought the boy, but she, and I got the impression that the two get along very well. ... Wynono, ..." She held him by the arm and looked at him very impressively. "... don't make this mistake again to not talk to her about what concerns you. You're still afraid to lose her, but if you don't let Bridget participate in your life, you'll lose her for sure. She won't just watch you building another wall around yourself again."

Koko was startled as he pushed his head backwards against the wall. However, she caught herself quite quickly and intensified the pressure on his arm and stood up. "Please wait. I'll be right back to you."

He didn't look after her when she went into the house. He looked at the meadow he had known for so long, and as always he hoped to find his answers there.

"Adam, ..."

When Koko sat down again, she handed him a cup of tea. He smelled it briefly and grimaced. "Koko. What I say now, I don't mean any harm, but I can't stand any more tea. Tea at home, tea at the Ponderosa, tea at Giovanna's, and now Cholette starts with tea, too."

Annoyed he exhaled. "Drink, please. You won't be able to go to your mountain but in a few weeks, and you have only three options. To fight during the roundup every day with one of the men because in your eyes he did something wrong, to smoke with my father in the tipi or to drink my tea."

Adam put his right foot on the crossbar of the table and angled his leg. Then he leaned back and spoke very softly. "Koko, I know I promised Hoss not to sit out here and take you in my arms, but ... Koko, I need you today ..."

She took his arm and put it over her shoulder and leaned against him. They didn't need to talk. She saw the gratitude in his face and in his eyes. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, taking sip by sip from the teacup.

Listening to Adam's breathing, Koko noticed as he grew calmer and relaxed. She also left him in peace when she saw Hoss coming to the farm. Although it was apparent that he wasn't pleased with what he saw, he didn't make a sound as Koko put her finger to her lips with a pleading look. Shaking his head, wondering what might be bothering his brother, he brought the sleeping Travis into the house.

XXXX

Adam took the reins of his horse. Just as he had already suspected, Gordon had broken his arm and a severe concussion, too. A moment of inattentiveness of the cowboy had been enough, and the bull had pulled him off the horse, and he bounced very roughly against some rocks. Adam had brought the man into town and ordered some food to be picked up tomorrow. With the back of his hand he wiped his forehead. Last year he had complained about the many rains, and this year he wanted a little of them. For early April it was already very warm. Only when the sun disappeared behind the mountains it became cold enough to roll down the sleeves of his shirt. He was about to get into the saddle as he held his breath. His eyes fell on Mr. Norten's store. And before he could actually think about, his feet started moving by themselves. It would certainly take another week before he could go home again, but he didn't want to wait that long, and who knew what was going on then. Although Koko had promised that after the Roundup, she would take care of the children on a Saturday, he didn't want to rely on only this possibility. And who knew whether Bridget wasn't too tired then. Adam chuckled. The woman, who was only a few steps away from him, didn't look tired at all. He put his hand on his hat and addressed her. "Good morning, ma'am. I see you have to carry heavily. May I help you?"

The young woman looked quite surprised at the books in her hand. "Heavy?"

Adam nodded eagerly. "I cannot just watch you carry them."

She shook her head and stowed the books in her saddle bag. "Then I'm lucky that I've got my horse, which can carry this heavy load home for me."

Adam wasn't intimidated by her cocky behaviour. On the contrary, this inspired him not to give up so quickly. "Then I think I'll accompany you home. There are a lot of suspicious characters around here lately. "

She looked at him from head to toe. "On the one hand, I'm happily married, Mister, and second, who tells me that you're not one of those suspicious characters? Just the way you look!"

With a mischievous smile, he patted some dust from his shirt. "Doesn't that show that I have to work hard for my money?"

She leaned forward. "And so what are you doing here? Actually my husband, like most other ranchers, is just out on the pastures to look for the cattle."

She just took the reins of her horse when Adam held her by the arm. "If I had such a pretty woman at home, I wouldn't leave her alone for so long. Admit, your husband wasn't even at home to visit you. "

With an evil glare she looked at his hand, which he withdrew cautiously, when he saw her gaze. "For my husband the animals are very important. The family has to be second sometimes."

Adam laughed aloud. "So you are not as happily married, as you have just claimed?"

"Oh, yes ..." She tapped her finger against his chest. "... I know your kind. You promise me the earth." She took his hand and then held it to his face. "You're married, too. Does your wife know you're just speaking to other women in the street?"

If Adam hadn't known before, then he did now. He wanted to spend the next hours at the lake with this woman. As much temper as she had, this were going to be very exciting and beautiful hours. So he put on the most loving smile he had and laid his hand on his chest. "Caught, …. but what should I do? I saw you coming out of the store and was enraptured by your beauty

in an instant. And who knows when I'm going to see you again ..." He shrugged slightly. "I had only this one chance."

She looked at him for a while. "You can accompany me a part of my way, but don't believe you can take me all the way home."

He took her hand and gently breathed a kiss on the back of her hand. "Thank you for giving me this honor."

Then he took the reins in his hand and with a satisfied grin that his famous charm had once again worked, he climbed into the saddle. Now it would be easy to get her to the lake. As it looked, he had, despite the marriage with Bridget, forgotten nothing. Still just a few sentences were enough – like back in school - and he achieved what he wanted to achieve.

And Adam got it all. It hadn't been difficult to persuade her to come to the lake. First she acted coyly because she was afraid that someone from her family would be able to see her riding with him, but Adam assured her that hardly anyone would know this hidden place. They would be alone for hours if they wanted to. Quite confidently he took his blanket from Sport and watched her as she went to the edge of the lake and looked at the water. Satisfied with his success, he spread the blanket on the meadow and stood behind her.

"Did I promise too much? It's a wonderful place to relax."

She didn't shrug back as he put his arms around her and ran his hands gently over her belly. "I'm just wondering with how many women you've already been here?"

With his left hand he stroked her hair from the neck and touched it softly with his lips. "Only with one."

Briefly, he felt that she wanted to withdraw from him. But as he kissed her neck tenderly with his lips, she leaned against him and tilted her head a bit more so that he could wander with his kisses over her neck. Adam knew he could be a bit more courageous now, so he slowly stroked her belly with his hand, then worked his way up to her breasts. When she still hadn't put him in his place with a slap in the face, he turned her around. Before she could say anything, he pressed his lips to hers and gave her one of those kisses his previous "victims" had always said he would rob them of their senses. She looked at him with wide eyes. "I don't know when my husband kissed me this way the last time."

Adam took her hand and went with her to the blanket, but she pulled back her hand and stopped. "I know what you're up to. ... But I don't know if I should. I've never been simply going with a man who addressed me in the street."

Quickly he took her hand again and went close to her. He looked deeply into her eyes with a sensitive look and kissed her again. He only whispered as he pulled away from her. "Do you really want to miss that ... and even more?"

Even her voice was not much louder. "What if ... if it won't be without consequences? My husband already has problems accepting our fourth child."

Adam's eyebrows rose, and he looked at her in amazement. "You already have four children?"

With a small smile she nodded and Adam shrugged. "Then he can divert himself with the fifth." He looked at her cheerfully and stroked her hair with his fingers. "I can take care."

She couldn't help a giggle. "I doubt that you really can, if I go with you."

Again he kissed her, unbuttoned her blouse and pulled it off, and then she no longer resisted when his kisses wandered deeper to her cleavage and her breasts. So it didn't take long before he lay with her on the blanket, and they both surrendered to their desire.

He looked into her eyes, still a little out of breath. He didn't want to just lie down beneath her. He wanted to feel her warm skin on his. Lovingly he stroked a strand from her forehead and tenderly touched her mouth. "I love you, Bridget. I knew from the first moment I saw you on this New Year's Eve in your house that you were the woman with whom I want to spend my life."

She took his face in her hands to kiss him just as tenderly. "I love you too, and I'm so glad I've had so much patience with you. I would never have been so happy with another man."

While they were kissing, he turned on his back, so she lay on him. He embraced her with his arms and never wanted to let her go. The sudden stab in his heart he tried to suppress quickly, as well as the idea of what might be if something would happen to her. If they didn't grow old together. At that moment he didn't want to think of such a thing. 'Live the moment ... .. Live the moment' ...

Later, when she snuggled up beside him, he felt how she started to tremble, and he chuckled. Surely his father would pace up and down the living room because Bridget was gone for so long. For when he had rode with her to the lake, he hadn't intended to spend the whole afternoon there with her. But these secret common hours had been just too delightful for both of them to listen to reason to finish them earlier. Adam got up and took her things. Then handed her his hand and pulled her up. "The sun will soon disappear behind the mountains, then it'll be even colder."

While she was dressing, he didn't let her out of sight, and again this pain came over him again. Inwardly he hoped that he would leave this world before her, because he didn't know how to deal with the pain if she wasn't anymore one day. "What's the matter, Adam? Where are you again with your thoughts?"

He was frightened, because he hadn't noticed her, as she stood next to him and touched his arm. He took a deep breath and took her in his arms. "I just thought, what a lucky man I am to have you, and how much I love you."

She would have liked to stand with him at the lake much longer. But also Bridget knew that she had to go home before Ben was so worried to start looking for her. "Adam, I think if you're back next week, we should talk about some things. The first point should be Bernardo, and why you are so aloof toward him. Tom had thought you were just the right person to look after him. You too had lost Inger by an act of violence and thus could help him to deal better with the events."

"Yes, we will talk and see what we will do if no positive news comes from Mexico until after the trial."

He pressed her even closer. "Adam, ... you should let me go now. The cattle's waiting for you, and the children are waiting for me, and certainly a father-in-law who has gained even more grey hair in the past few hours."

Before he finally let her go, he kissed her again, and with a smile he picked up his blanket and rolled it up. For the few steps to the horses he took her hand. He wanted to enjoy every second with her. For him this one week, which they would still be separated, was an infinitely long time.

XXXXXX

Adam put his hand on Bernardo's shoulder and went with him to the door. There he looked at him seriously. "Bernardo, you don't have to listen to all that. You can also wait outside until the judge wants to talk to you. I would get you then."

"No, ... want hear what happen to mi madre."

"All right, but if it gets too tough, tell me. Then you can leave the room at any time."

"Si. I do."

"And now run. The hearing was interrupted only for a short time. You know the way to the toilet?"

Bernardo nodded and ran. Adam leaned against the wall of the courthouse to wait for him.

"Adam, ..."

Adam turned his head to his father, who had also left the building for the brief break. "... I would like to discuss something with you."

Adam rubbed his eyes with two fingers and stood upright. He already knew what it was about. He had seen his father talking with Mr. Doohan, who was sitting in the school council just like him. "Pa, I won't change my mind."

"Adam, what's the matter again? It's the third teacher you've denied before you even saw him." 

"I don't need to see him, if I know his attitude toward certain things."

Ben put his arms akimbo and looked at his son grimly. "You're expecting everyone to share your opinion about the Indians, but that won't happen. You know that there aren't so many teachers who are willing to go to the West and certainly not to such a small town like ours."

"I expect a teacher to treat the children entrusted to him respectfully. When I hear that this man thinks it's right that there are rewards for scalps for every Indian who lives in the territory of California, I cannot vote for him."

Ben tried to hold back, but he couldn't avoid that he was breathing loudly. "I get the impression that when it comes to you, no teacher will be good enough to teach your children."

"Pa, ..." Adam laid his hand on his father's shoulder. "... you get upset again without thinking about what will happen when we take the next best teacher. It's not just about Aiyana, but also about Chesmu and Travis in a few years, and who tells us that when we hire a teacher who rejects the Indians, he doesn't reject children from other countries? We still have time to find someone. Bridget is definitely going to continue till summer, and by then we will find a solution."

Ben withdrew from his son. "And if we don't find a teacher? What then? You cannot go on like this after summer."

Adam crossed his arms, rubbed his eyes, and tried to pull himself together. "If there's no other solution, we will continue. It's a matter that concerns Bridget and me."

"No, son, it is not. For who is mainly taking care of your children?"

It was very good that at this moment Bernardo came back and looked up at the two men. Adam touched his shoulder. "Everything's allright?"

"Si Señor."

"Good, then we can go in again."

He looked again at his father, whose mood hadn't improved much. "I'll come to you tonight, Pa, and then we'll talk about it calmly."

Ben cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "As I know you, you won't have changed your mind until then."

Adam didn't answer, but went back to the courtroom with the boy. At the door he stopped when Tom's tense face struck him. "Bernardo, please go with Ben. I need to talk to Tom."

The boy nodded and went to his place with Adam's father. "Something wrong, Tom?"

His friend grumbled slightly. "I'm assuming that's yes. And what bothers you?"

Tom remained motionless, only his eyes wandered to Adam. "Buddy, if I tell you this, you'll just roll your eyes."

Adam put his hand on his chest and shook his head. "I? I always take you seriously."

Tom took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Of course ... no, I ... I ... today I woke up early with a bad feeling in my belly, and it's getting worse, not better."

Tom's gaze was focused only on the two men sitting at the table in front of the judge's desk. Adam didn't roll with his eyes. He already knew Tom too well and too long, and most of the time his belly didn't deceive him. "Tom, should I stay with you and watch out?"

Tom nodded almost imperceptibly. Thus, Adam leaned on the other side of the door against the wall and watched the second part of the trial from there. An hour later the judgment was made that the two men should face the gallows on the following day. They hadn't only killed Bernardo's mother, but also shot a shopkeeper in another town during a robbery. Sheriff Rusthon came back with the two condemned, and Tom and he led the two out of the building. Adam followed them a few steps behind.

What happened then went so fast that there were later twenty different versions of how the whole incident really happened. Adam only knew that a man on a horse burst into the small group at full gallop. The two condemned had, as it looked, reckoned with that and ran at this very moment a few steps forward. Tom and Rusthon lost a little balance and stumbled backwards. The man on the horse threw some guns to the two prisoners, who immediately directed them to the crowd, who pursued the events with big eyes. Adam had also pulled his gun. A wild shootout ensued. Within a short time, the man with the horse was deadly hit on the ground. The two convicts took advantage of the confusion and escaped along the street. Adam was about to run after when he realized his friend standing frozen a few yards from him, looking down to the ground.

"Tom, come on ...!"

Adam had followed the view of his friend and he gasped. Not only the man with the horse lay on the dusty road, but also Sheriff Rushton. Quickly, Adam put his gun back into the holster and knelt beside the Sheriff. With his head down Adam exhaled loudly. Then he looked up at his friend, who still had the gun in his hand, but any tension had escaped his body. The look was still fixed on the Sheriff. Slowly Adam rose and stood in front of his friend. "Tom, they aren't so far yet. We have to go after them."

His friend still didn't move. So Adam grabbed his arm and squeezed tightly. "Tom, ... you got a job to do! Come on!"

Slowly Tom's eyes wandered to Adam. Adam pulled him by the arm and ran off, in the direction the two had escaped. They were about to go past the little alley when they heard two men arguing. "Luke, why did you have to shoot the Sheriff? It was agreed that Norman would provide for distraction, and then we could run to the horses."

"Because I wanted to see him bite the dust. I couldn't stand his stupid grin anymore."

"Yes, and what did that get us? The horses are elsewhere, and half the town is chasing us. You're such an idiot! I don't want to hang because you're always shooting someone."

Adam and Tom looked at each other briefly and each walked down the alley in ducked position. "Drop your guns and hands up!"

Frightened, the men spun around and looked at Tom and Adam, who were standing with their guns drawn, not three yards from them. One of them was about to drop his gun. But the man named Luke opened fire. Tom and Adam jumped aside and shot back. The moment Luke fell to the ground, the other man ran off. The brief moment that Tom and Adam needed to make sure that Luke was no longer a threat, was enough that the other could hide so well that they couldn't find his track again. So they ran back to the dead Luke. "Tom, he wasn't hit by one of our bullets. He was shot from behind. That must have been his friend."

Tom closed his eyes and leaned his back against the wall. "Tom, we have to go back to the others so we can search the town with more people before the guy can grab a horse and go off!" 

Tom didn't open his eyes. "Adam, they shot Henry, ... what am I supposed to do now?"

"What you are going to do now? Well, your job, what else?"

Tom opened his eyes. "I don't know if I can."

Adam stood in front of his friend. His voice wasn't rude, but very determined. "Of course you can! After all, you're the Sheriff now."

Tom's eyes grew wide and he looked at the badge at his chest. Then he shook his head. "No, I'm just the deputy."

Adam grabbed his friend by the collar and pulled him close. "You took the job back then because you said it was what you wanted to do. Henry wouldn't have picked you if he didn't know you had the guts to stand in for him at any time. Henry's dead ..." He let go of his friend again and now talked more softly with him. "... Tom, the town needs a Sheriff right now who knows what he's doing and who's strong enough to deal with the situation. I want that we go back, and you show them that you're in control." He tapped his friend on the badge. "You are the Sheriff now, and if you don't show it the people out there, you can remove the badge right now. Then they will no longer even take you seriously as a deputy."

With both fists, Tom hit the wall behind him. Then he reached for the badge, took it off and handed it to Adam. "Buddy, I need a deputy until we capture the guy."

Tom didn't wait to see if Adam took the badge or not. He went off to go back to the courthouse.

Henry lay, like the other man, on the ground covered with a blanket. Before Tom spoke to the people around him, he knelt down. Lifted the blanket and took the badge from his boss and friend. He slapped his old Sheriff with his fist on the chest. He spoke so softly that none of the people around could understand him. "Henry, I'll get him, promise. I'll get him."

Then he rose again and looked into the round. At the same time he pinned the badge on his jacket. "One of the guys escaped, but he still has to be here in town. I need some volunteers to help us search."

Tom had only looked briefly at Adam and saw that he too had pinned on the badge. There were several men, and Tom told each group who had to look where.

XX

Vic stood with his back against a wall. His heart was in his mouth. Why had everything gone wrong since they had come to this town? He didn't want to hit Luke, but somehow he was standing in the line all of a sudden. It was clear, then, if they were to get him, he would definitely face the gallows. He looked around and wondered why there was nowhere a horse that could be taken. The only horses he had seen were standing on the main street, and he didn't dare to go there. They would shoot him right there. Then his gaze fell on a buggy, and he wondered why he shouldn't take it. Everyone was sure that he would try to escape on horseback. With a buggy he would certainly not be noticed. Thus Vic looked again to the left and right and then ran across the street. Just before the buggy, he heard several men yell, and he knew they had discovered him. He looked around frantically. In his panic, he ran to the open door.

"Bernardo, take your hat and come."

Bridget took her bag and pushed another drawer at the table shut. Ben had just brought Bernardo to her and explained in a few words what had happened outside the courthouse. He had asked her to take the boy home, so he could help Tom to find the escaped convict. She had just laid her hand on Bernardo's back to leave the classroom with him as a man rushed frantically into the room. Immediately he pointed the gun on Bridget and Bernardo and looked around. "Is anyone else here?"

Bridget pulled Bernardo close and shook her head. "Well, ….Well, …."

Vic wondered what he was about to do now and was annoyed why he had been so stupid as to run into the schoolhouse. Here he wouldn't be able to get out again. Already he heard several voices outside the building.

XX

It didn't take long when a man came running to Tom and Adam, telling them that the man wanted was hiding in the school. Adam didn't hesitate for a second and ran to the building with clenched teeth. All the way he tried to calm down with the thought that Bridget was already on her way home safely. His face hardened when he heard who was still in the classroom. Ben grabbed Adam's arm as he watched Adam's entire body tighten. "Adam, try to stay calm and don't do anything rash."

Adam pulled away his arm and in his eyes was only anger. Crouching, he ran to a window and looked inside. Tom came to his side and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Very softly, Adam whispered to him that Bridget and Bernardo were in the room. Tom nodded and ran to the front of the school building. "Vic, you have no chance. The house is surrounded. Come out or we'll come in."

It took a while for Tom to get a reply. "Get off or I'll shoot the boy and the woman."

Tom looked at Adam, who crouched next to the door with the gun in his hand. It was impossible to tell what was going through his friend's head. Tom only realized that Adam's cheekbones twitched. "If you shoot them, you won't get any further. We'll come in anyway."

Ben, standing a little away from Tom, opened his mouth in horror. Again, some time passed until Vic replied. "I'm serious, I'll shoot the two."

"And I'm serious, we will come in. I give you more two minutes, no longer."

Outside they all cringed, as they heard two shots being fired at the schoolhouse, and the glass of a window pane splintering. Adam and Tom looked at each other quickly and ran. At the height of a window, Adam stopped briefly and looked inside. On the ground were Bridget and Bernardo, and beside them, he could see a clear bloodstain. Adam didn't feel the pain, as he clenched his teeth. With a few steps he had caught up with Tom. Ahead ran Vic and kept looking around time and again. However, he was very slow. It looked like he had been hurt when jumping out of the window. So the two men had quickly caught up with him and pushed him to the ground. Each of them grabbed Vic and held the gun to his head.

"Tom, let him go, ... he's mine. He shot Bridget and Bernardo."

Tom tried to push away his friend. "No, Adam, he's mine. He shot Henry."

Tom and Adam looked at each other with an incredible rage, while Vic's eyes wandered fearfully from one to the other.


	77. Chapter 77

Vic rushed into the room and immediately knew it had been a mistake. Not only that there was certainly no second exit at school, no, there was also a child and a woman in the classroom. "Is anyone else here?"

The woman shook her head and pulled the boy closer.

"Well ... well ..."

Again, Vic cursed. He realized at once that the child was the boy of the woman who had been killed by Luke. What should he do now? He couldn't get out. Half the town would be waiting for him. Although he had no idea how popular the Sheriff had been, there were certainly plenty of people who would like to see him hanging by the neck on the next tree.  
His eyes wandered back to the boy and the woman. Both were watching him closely. They didn't seem to be afraid that he had pointed his gun at them. He might take them as hostages and try to leave the building, but then, for a moment, he closed his eyes. No, he couldn't. Luke had been the first one he had shot in his life. His head twitched as he heard the voices from outside. He wiped the sweat from his hands onto his pants. Then he heard the deputy. "Vic, you have no chance! The place is surrounded. Come out or we'll come in!"

Immediately his breathing accelerated. "Damn ….!"

His eyes wandered through the room, but still no solution had occurred to him. He only knew that he didn't want to be hanged for something he hadn't done. Yes, he had been participating at all the raids and yes, he had had fun with the boy's mother, but before Luke he had never killed anyone. Not only his hands were wet, but now he could feel the sweat standing on his forehead. Time, ... he needed time ... "Get off or I'll shoot the boy and the woman!"

Vic tried to look at the two angrily, but he was sure that he had only moderate success. Again sounded the voice of the deputy. "If you shoot them, you won't get any further. We'll come in anyway!"

Vic exhaled loudly, knowing that the deputy wasn't bluffing. All the time they were in jail, he'd already noticed he was dealing with someone who took his job very seriously. He wasn't as blockheaded as most deputies, he had previously met. There was a man out there, who knew exactly what he was doing and who was determined to do what he said. "I'm serious, I'll shoot the two!"

"And I'm serious, we will come in! I give you two more minutes, no longer!"

Vic looked at the door and slumped his shoulders. At the same moment he got a kick in the back and stumbled forward. His hands were so sweaty that his gun slipped out of his hand. As he turned around, the boy stood with a very dark look at the spot where he had just been, and the woman wasn't two yards ahead of him pointing his gun at him. He breathed heavily, then he wanted to grab the boy to get him in front of him. He had his hand already on his collar, when the shot fell and hit him in the thigh. The boy was dragged to the ground by Vic and remained lying. Horrified, Vic looked down at the wound and put his hand on it. Then he raised his head and lunged at the woman. Again he heard a bang and felt a pull in his arm. Rigid with fear he watched as the blood dripped onto the floor, then he realized that he had lost. His eyes turned to the woman again. Her hands were trembling so much that the next shot would certainly not be more targeted. There was only one possibility left to him. He grabbed a wooden bucket beside him and thus threw it against the closest window. With a few steps he was there and jumped out. From the corner of his eye he could only see the woman throwing herself over the boy.

Bernardo raised his head slightly. He saw Adam staring into the window and then running on. Then he looked at Bridget, who put her finger to her mouth indicating to him that he should remain lying. But Bernardo wanted to see if they would catch the man who had killed his mother. He jumped up and ran to the broken window. "Bernardo, stay!"

Bridget had also raised and wanted to go to the boy. At that moment, Ben came running into the classroom with some other men. "Bridget, ..."

Ben took his daughter-in-law in his arms, but then immediately let go of her and looked at her from top to bottom. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

Bridget shook her head. "We're fine."

She looked at Bernardo, who was still standing at the window, looking at her briefly. Then he turned his gaze back out, and his eyes grew big.

"NO ...!"´

He jumped out of the window and ran off. Out of breath, he stood behind Tom and Adam, who both had pointed their guns to the man's head, kneeling before them on the ground.

"Señores, ... no ...!"

Adam and Tom looked at Bernardo at the same time, who looked at them open-mouthed and his eyes wide open. "Me alone, ... need amigos and familia. … Please not ….!"

Vic's eyes still wandered anxiously between the two men, and he just prayed that they would listen to the boy. Because at the moment their eyes were speaking only one language. Anger and revenge.

Adams glance went past Bernardo, and he saw his father running with Bridget around the corner of the school building. Slowly he let go of Vic and without averting his eyes of Bridget, he put the gun away and ran to her.

Tom had still pointed his gun at Vic's head. Then he saw the man winking his eyes because he was dazzled. Tom looked up briefly. The sun had emerged from behind the clouds. Then Tom looked down. Vic was dazzled by his badge because the sun was shining right on it. Shortly he looked back at Bernardo, who still looked at him pleadingly, but then he pulled Vic on the legs. "Come on now, go! You would do me a great favor if you try to escape."

Vic looked up, his hands raised. "No way …."

Tom pushed him against the back. As he passed Bernardo, he put his hand briefly on his shoulder.

With quick steps Bridget ran to meet Adam and fell into his arms. But also like Ben, Adam quickly released her and looked at her worried. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine. Bernardo and I haven't been hurt."

He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly. "Bridget, ... we will go away from here. Somewhere where it's more peaceful."

She pushed him away more fiercely than intended. "No, ... we stay here."

Then she spoke very gently and softly to him when she saw that same fear in his eyes, as then in front of the church, when he had shot the friend of Buck. "Adam, ... you always say you cannot escape your fate, even if you try to run away from it. What happened today could have happened anywhere." She put her hand on his cheek. "Here is your home ... our home. I don't want to live somewhere else."

Before he took her in his arms again, they looked at each other for a long moment. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and thanked the Great Spirit for sending Bernardo to them in time.

"Deputy, ..."

Tom stopped next to Bridget and Adam. "... you got a job to do. The prisoner must go to jail, and Doc Martin should take care of his wounds."

Adam let go of Bridget, but still had an arm around her. He looked at his badge with a slight smile. Then they reached out their hands in friendship, forgetting what had happened a few minutes ago. "I only need you until we have this guy on the gallows by tomorrow. Then you can take it off. "

"All right, Tom."

He was about to let go off Bridget when his friend shook his head. "You can ..." Tom smiled briefly, but immediately he got a serious face again when he remembered that his friend and boss had been dead for less than an hour. "... take the witness with you. We need a statement from her and Bernardo."

His arm around Bridget, Adam touched Bernardo, who was standing beside him, with the other hand on the shoulder. "Thanks, Tom"

Tom nodded and pushed the gun into Vic's back, so that he went on. With Bernardo on the hand and Bridget in the arm, he followed his friend.

XXX

Adam stood at the window of the Sheriff's office and his gaze was directed into the distance. With a shudder, he listened as Bernardo and Bridget told what had happened in the school. He winced as Ben touched his arm. "Adam, ... it all went well. Don't worry so much."

Adam nodded slightly, trying to calm down with the words of Amarok and the laws of the vision travel. '... What happens is the only thing that could happen ... Everything starts at the right moment, ... noone steps into your life by chance ... what is over is over ... '"Pa, ... it was the second time that I was shown so clearly how fast I could lose her."

Ben stood next to him and peered out of the window. "Then remember that the next time you're arguing with her for something unimportant."

Adam cocked his head and grinned. "We don't argue, Pa ..." Ben just glanced at him. "... We are discussing, and then I am right."

Laughing, Ben looked out of the window again. "If you really think. ... Adam, you cannot protect her from everything and everyone. She wouldn't allow that. For that you have chosen the wrong woman. Bridget is very self-confident and strong and I think she will never allow to be told how she has to live. Try to free yourself from your fears, because otherwise you start restricting her, and then you will lose her, but in another way than you think."

Adam exhaled loudly and with crossed arms, he turned around and looked at Tom and the others who were sitting at the desk. The Sheriff gathered the papers and stood up. "Then I'll take that over to the judge. But I don't think there will be a change from Vic facing the gallows tomorrow morning. Before I get back, I'll stop at the saloon to see how the mood is."

Ben looked at Adam's friend questioningly. "Do you think there might be trouble?"

Tom shrugged. "Henry was very popular and so far, everyone is still behaving very quietly, and I hope it will stay that way."

"Should I stay?"

"No thanks, Mr. Cartwright. At the moment it's enough if Adam stays here until tomorrow."

He turned to Bridget. "Bridget, ... I know .. you would surely like to ..."

Bridget pushed the chair back and rose. "Tom, it's all right. Before I go home, I'll stop briefly to see Sybil. She certainly worries. Perhaps I can persuade her to come to us with the children tonight, and I think Jörn would certainly want to stay with Joe."

She looked at Ben, who gave her a friendly nod.

"She'll be glad to do that. I will also briefly stop to see her."

Tom squeezed her hand and then left the office.

"And I will ride home with you together ..." Ben looked from his son to Bridget. "... I will be waiting outside for you, Bridget." He took his hat and left the office.

"In Boston your life wouldn't be as nerve-wracking."

Bridget smiled at her husband. "But we wouldn't be happy in Boston."

With a loving look he gave her a kiss. "Take care."

"Adam, I should rather say that to you." She tapped the badge. "I hope that you won't find pleasure in the job."

Instantly, he signaled his refusal. "No, by no means."

Then he looked at Bernardo. "Thank you, Bernardo ..."

He didn't need to say anything more, since the boy knew what Adam meant. Then Adam laid his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I think in the next few days, we'll talk about how it should go with you."

Bernardo looked from Adam to Bridget and then took her hand. "Sí, Señor."

XX

"Someone has apparently heard that there will be breakfast."

Adam came with Emilie to the dining room and put her in her chair. She immediately reached out for the milk jug. Chesmu pulled away the jug, grinning at her. "EyékhiyA asáŋpi."

"Chesmu ..."Aiyana took the jug away from her brother. "She can't talk yet. How can she say milk then?"

"That it is."

Bernardo took the jug out of Aiyana's hand and put his arm around Emilie while he poured her some milk. "Está es leche."

Bridget shook her head and looked at Adam, who took some coffee. "Maybe we should really agree on one language. At least at the table. Otherwise, Emilie will develop a very peculiar language that noone else understands."

"And which should it be?"

Bridget looked at the children, who all looked at her with wide eyes. "The one that all of us can understand."

Immediately Chesmu pulled a pout. "Chesmu, this is only for eating. After that you can talk as you like, but I think this is a good compromise for all of us."

She looked at each one. Still with a small pout Chesmu continued the meal.

"Señor ..."

Bernardo kneaded nervously on his fingers as he looked at Adam. "... I like go with other children to school, learn better speak and write."

Adam put down the cup and put his crossed hands over his mouth. He wanted to talk to Bernardo in the evening about how to go on with him. Still no positive news had come from Mexico, and Adam no longer believed that it would come. He had no idea what to do with Bernardo now. His eyes wandered to Bridget who nodded to him with a smile. So he took his hands down and took a deep breath. "Your teacher doesn't mind, but tonight we will talk, where you will live in future. So you may have to go to another school."

Bernardo opened his mouth briefly, but then quickly lowered his head and looked at his plate. Also Aiyana looked at Adam with big eyes and wanted to say something, but then she saw how Bridget slightly shook her head looking at her. So they ended breakfast rather quietly.

"Aiyana, ... Bernardo, you can take your stuff and go out and saddle a horse for Bernardo. I'll come right after ... "

The children stood up, and Bridget handed Chesmu a cloth. "... And you will wash your hands and your face, so that you may be clean when your father brings you to lalá Ben."

Still slightly offended, Chesmu ran out of the room. Adam leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "And where is Emilie to go, so that you're undisturbed to give me a piece of your mind? Even though I don't know what I did wrong."

Her eyes glared at him. "You always say your father's insensitive, but you're no better."

Adam leaned forward. "What?"

"How can you tell Bernardo that he will live somewhere else and then even in a completely different town."

"I said I would talk to him tonight."

"Adam, ..." She threw her napkin on the plate. "... you don't want to give him to other people, do you?"

Since he only looked at her, and she could see how he clenched his teeth, her voice was getting a bit louder. "Can you please answer me, …. I have to go to school, and I want to clarify this now. So I would be glad if we didn't drag this conversation on."

While he was still not ready to give her an answer, she got up and pushed the chair to the table with some force and wanted to leave the room, but as she passed him, he held her by the arm. "I'm sorry, …"

He leaned back again, but still held onto her. "... I can't say yet we will keep him. We've already taken Chesmu and Aiyana, and if ..." He looked at Emilie. "... she doesn't remain our only child, ..."

Bridget also tried to calm down before she answered him. "Adam, I cannot give him away, and certainly not to an orphanage, and ..." She closed her eyes briefly in order to be brave before her next words. "... no other child who is outside our doorstep."

Adam looked at her confused. "What other children?"

He had asked in a very low voice. But Bridget continued with a strong voice. "Through the gold finds many settlers come to us in the West. A colleague has written to me that in his city there are already several children whose parents died on the long way to California, and I think that it won't be too long before we can feel the effects even here."

Slowly, Adam stood up, still confused. "And what does that mean? That you're now about to collect children like Hoss collects his rabbits?"

Bridget shook her head. "You don't have to be so arrogant, dear Adam. I just said I wouldn't send a child away."

She bit her lip slightly, so as not to get louder again. "In the last few months I've noticed how much I missed the work with the children. It's as well clear to me that it's no permanency that our children are always with the grandparents while we're working. So I thought to myself, if the case were to occur, I could take care of those children who arrive here without parents. I can do it very well here at home."

Adam continued to look at her disbelievingly. "And you've decided to do this without talking to me?"

She exhaled deeply, trying not to be influenced by his stubbornness. "I haven't decided anything yet. It's just a thought at the moment, and actually it's just Bernardo. Didn't you realize he would like to stay with us?"

As he remained silent, she only groaned and wanted to leave. "Of course I've noticed that, but I've only thought of you and that you'll have more work."

She tapped his chest with her finger. "Just start talking to me, otherwise I don't know how to grow old together. I cannot always look into your head and guess what's going on with you."

She looked at him again very angry and left the house.

XXX

"Aydo!"

Before Ben could say anything, Sophie jumped from her chair and ran to her brother to embrace him. "Good morning, my little buttercup. I've brought you somebody to play with."

Joyfully, Sophie took Chesmu's hand and pulled him with her. As soon as Adam had reached the table, Emilie was already stretching her arms towards Ben. With a loud sigh and a look that said it all, Ben looked to Rusty, who lay down in front of the fireplace. Adam wished Emillia and his father a good morning and then took a cup and the coffee pot. Just a little 'Oh' slipped over Emillias lips while she looked at Adam.

"Would the young lady still like a cup of milk?"

Emilie looked at Ben. "Lalá."

Ben grinned proudly all over his face. Since he knew that lalá meant grandfather in the language of the Gosiute, he rubbed Adam's nose in it as often as possible, that his daughter could first say Grandpa and not Pa or Dad. But since he too had noticed quickly today that his son wasn't in a good mood, he omitted this little jibe. He took a cup and filled it with milk and handed it to his granddaughter. "What did you plan for today, Adam?"

Ben looked at Adam, who looked into his coffee cup as if spellbound. "Adam, ...?"

Adam raised his head and looked at his father. "What did you say?"

Ben's eyes wandered to his wife, who nodded with closed eyes. "I wanted to know what plans you have for today?"

"I wanted to ride over to Hoss to see what horses they got and whether we could use some of them. Later I wanted to talk with Tico about our stock and about which animals we can sort out, which we don't want to take with us in summer."

Ben nodded. "Well, then I'll ..." He looked to the children and then to his wife. "... Kids, what do you think of going to the barn for a moment?"

Sophie raised her arms with joy. "Yes, …."

Then she struck Chesmu. "We have kittens."

"Igmú?"

Chesmu looked at Adam. "Yes, a cat, or rather, a lot of little kittens."

Now Chesmu beamed all over his face. "Can I have one?"

With a smile, Adam stroked his son's hair. "If they are old enough and no longer need their mother, we can have one."

With a wide grin, Chesmu leaned back and looked at everyone. "Come on, then."

Ben got up and left the house with the children. Emillia took the pot and gave Adam some more coffee. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Adam left the cup in front of him and folded his hands. Then he took a deep breath. "I ..." He closed his eyes. "... I'm doing everything wrong again. I always pretend to talk to her about everything, but then I end up at Koko."

"And why are you doing this?"

For a long time Adam had only directed his eyes to the table. Then he leaned back and looked to Emillia, shrugging. "I cannot even tell you exactly. It's easier for me to talk to her about some things than to Bridget. "

"But surely there are things that concern Bridget, too, or am I wrong?"

Very quietly he agreed with her. "What are you afraid of, Adam? That you're arguing, or she packs her bags and go?"

Adam put his hand on his eyes and remained silent until he leaned back. "I just want to do everything to make her feel safe and secure here, but I've got the feeling since she has been here, one disaster after another happens. After the incident at school I offered her to go somewhere else. So she could live without fear of wild shootouts, raids and all the other crazy things."

Ben's wife had to smile. "Let me guess? She told you very clearly that she wants to stay here." 

"Yes, she did."

Emillia sat down beside him. She put her hand on his and looked at him kindly. "You're right, Adam. In the first year of your marriage, you have had a lot to go through, and much has changed in your life, but what hasn't changed are the feelings you have for each other. You should realize by now that Bridget feels at home here. She isn't a naive girl you just brought from the East. Remember, she has lived here alone in the West for a while and is quite well suited to the circumstances. The only one who's got a problem is you! Which at the moment unfortunately again leads to you building a wall around you. Adam, you can tell Bridget ten times a day how much you love her, but if you don't trust her because you think you have to wrap her in cotton wool, she will one day go her own way."

Adam turned the cup in front of him in a circle. "Do you know you're already the third person who tells me that if I'm not careful, I'm going to lose her?"

"Then you should think about it. As you can see, a lot of people are realizing that you're about to close up again."

"I'm making my own life difficult again."

"Just a little ..." She grinned at him. "... With Bridget you picked a woman, who doesn't always put up with everything from you and doesn't idolize you from sunup to sundown, but who has her own opinion. She was that way before your marriage, and you knew what was coming toward you."

Adam leaned back and thought about the time in Boston, and that it was exactly what he'd liked about Bridget. That she - as he – sticked to her beliefs and was ready to face her family. That she didn't just approve of everything and also - like Koko - now and then gave him a piece of her mind. So he took the cup and emptied it with one sip, pushed the chair back and gave Emillia a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, ... Ma ..."

He took his hat and grinned at her as she looked at him, shaking her head, with a smile.

XX

"Hello, Bernardo. How was your first day at school?"

Adam paused in front of the children. He noticed immediately how the boy's mood changed when he had seen him. Before, he had laughed with the others, while he now had a very serious look. "It was good, Señor Adam."

Adam smiled at him. "Well, I hope the next will be even better."

Adam looked briefly at the school door then back to the children. "Aiyana and Bernardo, you ride with Winona to the Ponderosa. You will eat there today, and after your homework you can do whatever you want. Only inform Granny or lalá Ben, please."

"Até, I'd like to ride to my village this afternoon with Tyler."

Adam looked at Aiyana bit puzzled. "With Tyler?"

"Yes, he'd like to see where I used to live."

"Are we talking about the same Tyler, because of whom you have brought home one letter after another?"

Aiyana nodded. "Até, you always say you shouldn't be afraid of the unknown, but try to understand, and Tyler tries to understand what happened to my tribe. This creates trust. Isn't that what Amarok and you want to achieve? That we trust?"

Adam looked into the faces of the children and then he knew that he had already achieved a lot with Amarok. In front of him stood a generation that had no reservations or fears about other cultures and thoughts, and he nodded satisfied. "Does Tyler's father know what you are doing?"

"Yes, and at first he didn't want to allow it, but his grandfather then said that it's important that Tyler learns what's going on around him."

With a smile, he imagined Marc's face as he had looked at his father in surprise that he was again a friend of the Cartwrights all of a sudden. "And you, Bernardo? What are you doing this afternoon? "

Bernardo didn't manage to answer, since Winona immediately talked. "He's coming with us. Riccardo and I want to go to the village. Nayavu wants to build a canoe with us, so we can go fishing in summer, and that's why he has to come with us, of course."

She looked at Bernardo with a smile of joy, but he immediately lowered his head again. "I surely not here in summer."

"Of course. Where else shall you be?"

Bernardo glanced up at Adam, who put his hand on his shoulder and went to the door. "Of course you can join. I want to have fresh fish for dinner in summer, too. See you later, children."

Adam didn't turn around because he knew Bernardo was looking after him for sure.

Bridget stood at the blackboard to wipe it. So she didn't notice Adam sitting down at the table in the front row. When she turned around to clear away the chalk, she startled and lay a hand on her chest, when she saw him. "Adam, do you always have to sneak up like that?"

He looked at her with an innocent look. "I'm just here to pick up my punishment. Do I have detention, or do I get a letter home?"

Shortly she looked at him and then took her chair and sat with it in front of the table. As always, she couldn't be angry with him for long. "We can also talk about your misconduct, and then discuss your punishment."

He took her hand to kiss her without looking away from her. "I'd like to go to my mountain next week for one night."

"For one night?"

"Next week, it's Winona's and my birthday, and I wanted to celebrate it with her up there."

He held onto her two hands. "And what does she say about the unusual celebration, and what does Ben in particular think about that?"

"She doesn't know yet, and you know my father. First he was furious and asked me if I just came out of the saloon, but in the end he agreed under the condition that we're back for lunch, so we can celebrate on the Ponderosa with a barbecue."

"Then do it. She'll be happy about it."

"I think so, and when I'm up there, I can leave the few stones I've just collected again."

She had to laugh softly. "A few? I think you should take another packmule."

He took her hands and kissed her tenderly. "I'm sorry, Bridget, that it's always so hard for me to talk to you about certain things."

"Adam, do you know how hurtful that is every time? I like Koko. She's a dear friend to me, and I think, I cope quite well with your extraordinary friendship. But when I see that something's bothering you, and then you go to her, but afterwards you still don't talk to me, then it's very hard for me."

"I know ..." He had to exhale deeply before he could continue. "... but I want you to be happy and that's why I've tried to keep away from you all that might worry you."

He didn't speak any further. "It isn't just about Bernardo, is it?"

He held her hands more tightly and closed his eyes for a moment. "Of course Bernardo can stay with us if he wants to, but he should really want it and not just because his mother is buried here. He needs to feel at home with us."

"Adam, there's no question that he already does, although you haven't always treated him nicely."

"When I talk to him tonight, I will explain to him why I behaved like that ..." Again, he looked into her eyes and swore to fight his wall every day so that he wouldn't close up himself again. "... and I apologize to you for being so arrogant to your idea this morning."

"No, Adam, I have to apologize for taking you by surprise. I know it was very spontaneous again."

"It wasn't about being too spontaneous. I couldn't, like you, send a child to an orphanage or watch it cry, because it doesn't know where to go. I ... I really thought of you and that it would mean a lot of work and responsibility for you."

"It's only an idea. I just realized it wasn't enough for me to only sew your buttons. I love working with the children and I wouldn't be alone. Giovanna was instantly excited when I told her about it and ... "he saw his serious look and tilted her head. "What's the matter, Adam?"

He couldn't look into her eyes. So he looked at her hands. "Bridget, please believe me that I have nothing against your idea. I also know you would get that going with Giovanna, but ..." He pulled his left hand away from her and put it on the snake. "I don't know how long I'm able to help you."

Bridget briefly held her breath. Then she took his hand again to squeeze it tightly. "Adam, ... what's wrong?"

She couldn't but whisper. With the thought of living the moment and not looking anxiously into the future, he tried to get courage. Then he looked to her again. "You once asked me why I was working with Frederic again on such a big project ..." She said nothing, just nodded. "... That I love the challenge for such a big subject wasn't the only reason. ... It could be that I can no longer work at the ranch in a few years."

Bridget waited in vain for him to continue, as if this sentence had to suffice to understand everything. "Adam, can you please tell me exactly what's wrong with you?"

Adam lowered his eyes again. "The fracture in my leg hasn't healed as it should. And with the impact against the rock wall, my back was even more affected, as the shaman and Doc Martin have suspected first ..." With a depressed look he raised his head again." ... Both of them assume that I will have problems with work on the ranch in a few years, and if it gets very bad, there will be days when I can hardly walk."

He pressed his teeth so hard that his cheekbones protruded. He closed his eyes to regain his inner peace. With a little more peace, he opened them again after some time. "Bridget, how can I help you if I might need help in my everyday life myself?"

In her eyes, he saw such a great affection for him that he had to smile despite his rage, which he felt inside. She gently laid her hand on his cheek. "Then we will get through it the same way as through anything else so far. Adam, in your head you're imagining the worst case scenario again. What did the shaman and Paul say? It could be. That means, it doesn't have to happen that way."

"But I cannot just suppress that. Especially not on days when I feel pain in the leg or the back."

She took his left hand and gently massaged the palm. "And when do you have those pains? Certainly always when you have worked too much. Because you didn't listen to your body before. Just as you do with your hand. I know you, Adam. If your mind actually tells you to stop, you go even further, just to prove that it still works."

He looked at her with raised eyebrows and an innocent gaze. "Adam, I see no reason why we won't manage even that. You just have to start trusting me and not feel like you have to prove to everyone how strong you are."

He got up, bent over the table, and gently kissed her lips. "Sometimes I wonder where you get the patience with me?"

"That's only Koko's tea."

He got up and pulled her by the hand around the table to take her in his arms. "Just promise to warn me that when I get home, I might have ten more children sitting at the table."

Before she kissed him, she shook her head. "It's only an idea."

XXX

With a better feeling than in the morning, he mounted his horse. Adam had to grin when he thought of the punishment he had just received at school. Luckily he had thought of closing the door this time. He hadn't only promised Bridget to take better care in future, but also that if he talked to Koko first, then would always talk with her afterwards. Likewise, they had planned to do something on their own once a month, even if it was only having lunch in town. He just wanted to tell Rusty that they would ride home when he saw Tom go down to his office with slumped shoulders. As it looked, Adam wasn't the only with a bad start to the day. So he turned Sport to the Sheriff's office.

Tom sat half on his desk and his gaze into the void, as Adam entered the office with Rusty. Adam didn't wait for Tom to say something, but went to the stove and poured each of them a cup of coffee. Then he returned to the desk, opened the drawer, took out a bottle of whiskey, and poured each of them a good sip into the coffee. Then he handed his friend a cup and sat down on the bench. Tom sniffled his cup and smirked as he looked at the clock. Adam shrugged his shoulders as he followed his gaze. "There are days when you need a stronger coffee quite early. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

The Sheriff looked into his cup and then took a sip. "Adam, ... I don't know if I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

Tom set the cup aside. "To wear the badge. It's different to be the Sheriff of a town than just the deputy."

"Henry never made it a secret that he has seen you as his successor."

"But not so early, Adam. I don't know if I'm ready. What if I make a wrong decision?"

"Have you made a wrong decision so far?"

Tom stood up, went to the window and looked out into the street. Adam took another sip from the cup, placed it on the back of the bench, and followed his friend. "It's nothing new for you to be responsible for the town. Think of how many times Henry wasn't here because he had to transfer a prisoner or had to give testimony in court in another town. Then you didn't doubt yourself."

Adam leaned against the wall and looked at his friend from aside. "The badge was what you wanted, and to my own surprise you do this job very well. I mean, when I think about what you used to be up to."

His friend had to grin. "We, Adam. We, ... not just me."

Adam crossed his arms and smiled. "And Tom, that's why people accept you. You know that sometimes one makes a mistake, kicks over the traces or just has a bad day. You're not running through town with a wagging finger, but you spare nobody to spend the night at your office. Even if his name is Cartwright."

Adam pushed away from the wall and joined Tom. "My life is the ranch. Yours the badge."

Tom took a deep breath. "Sybil's expecting a baby. Isn't it very selfish of me to just think that the job satisfies me?"

"Sybil married you, though you were already wearing the badge."

He put his arm around Tom's shoulder. "Tom, I think we shouldn't always worry so much about whether our ladies agree to our lives. I think they'll tell us very clearly if something goes against the grain."

Adam slapped him slightly on the back. "Well, I have to go, and I don't want to see you out there with hanging shoulders. You can do this in the office. Out there in the street I want everyone to see who's responsible for law and order, and, Tom ... "Adam took his hat off the bench and went to the door. "... I've heard, you picked a good deputy. That's why I expect you to be with Sybil and the children at the Ponderosa Saturday in a week for a barbecue. There, we both will celebrate with a good drink that you become a father again."

Tom put his hands akimbo. "We will do that, …. and thank you, Buddy. "

Adam tipped his hat and left the office.

XXX

Legs apart Joe stood in front of the tree trunk with one eye closed, his gaze fixed on the cans. He breathed deeply several times and then pulled the gun from the holster. When the smoke had settled, he saw the cans still standing on the trunk. He was startled when he heard a sudden laugh behind him. "Adam, you're sure you want to take Joe to the cattle drive in summer? As you see, you'd better teach him to throw ammunition. Perhaps he then hits something."

With a broad grin Hoss and Adam dismounted. "And I've been worrying that he's going to town and shooting someone in the first quarrel. But his opponent will just fall dead with laughter."

Eyes rolling, Joe put the gun back into the holster. Not only had Adam caught him as he wanted to practice without him, but that his two brothers were making fun of him too, was quite annoying. Now he had already escaped into the little forest, but apparently he wasn't left in peace even here. They took Joe in their midst and with their arms crossed they looked at the cans.  
"Adam, do you think he has at least grazed one of the cans?"

Adam narrowed his eyes. "No, Hoss, ..." He tilted his head again. "... the one can already had this little dent."

With his hands, Joe pushed his brothers away. "Can't you make fun of someone else and leave me alone?"

Joe ran a few steps forward and kicked the ground. Hoss looked at Adam. "Hey shortshanks, maybe it's up to your teacher."

With a supposedly evil look, Adam turned to his brother. "I don't believe that. Until now, everyone has learned ..." Adam turned to Joe again. "... who had the patience, but our little brother wants to be the fastest gun throughout Nevada."

Joe looked angrily at his brothers. "Of course I want to be fast. You said yourself, Adam, only the one who is fast wins."

Adam went to his brother and took the gun from the holster. "Yes, I said that, but first ..." He held Joe's gun in front of his eyes. "... you have to learn to handle it properly. It must be in your hand without you thinking about what you're doing. You have to develop a sense of how you have to hold it to do something. Because if you have to use it, you're certainly not as calm as now. You'll be nervous, and you'll be scared, but you'll have to forget all those feelings in that second when you decide to pull. Otherwise you have already lost."

He put his arm around Joe's shoulders and turned him to the tree trunk with the cans. "Joe, you didn't hit a can here in the forest where you had all the time, and why not? Because you're too impatient again. Speed comes by itself. Now try to hit the cans."

Adam took some of his cartridges from the belt and refilled the drum of Joe's gun. "Try again, but this time you already hold the gun in your hand."

Joe's eyes wandered from Hoss to Adam and then back again. "But I don't want you to laugh at me again."

"Joe, Adam and I won't laugh at you. Promise. Now get going."

Still not entirely convinced, Joe stood in front of the cans, aimed and this time he hit three of the five cans. He stumbled forward as Hoss slapped him on the back. "Well, you see little brother, it works. Now I don't have to be so afraid about Adam, if you accompany him in summer."

"If I accompany him."

With too much force Joe put the gun back into the holster. Amazed, Hoss looked at Adam. "Why shouldn't you? School's over and so it's quite obvious that you're going to work at the Ponderosa."

"Well, for you it is, but not for me."

Joe went to his horse and took the reins in his hand and wanted to lead it out of the woods. "Stop, little brother."

Hoss held onto his arm. "Can you tell me what you mean by that?"

Joe just looked down and gave Hoss no answer. "You know Hoss, our little brother doesn't really know what to do after school. The work at the roundup was a little fun, but it would have been nicer for him if a certain person wasn't there."

Hoss laughed loudly. "Let me guess, you can't cope with our stubborn brother?"

Joe raised his head and looked at Adam. "In his eyes, I'm doing everything wrong. There wasn't a day he wasn't complaining, and then I'm to go with him on a cattle drive for several weeks? Certainly not."

"But you want to work on the ranch?"

Joe blew his cheeks and looked at the ground again. "Well, ... yes, ... really, but ..."He glanced back at Adam. "... not with him."

Hoss put his arm around Joe's shoulders and shook his head. "Adam, ... Adam. I told you to have more patience with our little brother. I think it's better, I'll accompany you both on the cattle drive, and I promise you, if our big brother complains again as much as Pa I'll take care of it."

"Oh, and if I don't want to take you with me?"

Triumphantly, Hoss looked at Adam. "You ain't to decide. How does Pa always say so beautifully?"

Hoss stood upright, pushed his chest out and spoke with a very deep voice. "My dear Adam, ... this is still my ranch, and when I say, this is done so, then this is done that way. Did you understand that, son?"

Adam laughed slightly and went to his horse. "I think I'll go just with Tico and Riccardo on the cattle drive this summer. Then I know at least that there will be no problems."

Startled Little Joe looked at Hoss. "He isn't serious that he would rather take Riccardo than us?"

Laughing, Hoss slapped his little brother on the back. "Don't you worry, Joe. It'll take some time till Riccardo will accompany us, but you should start to try hard. Otherwise, the little one is really going to be the better cowboy of both of you. Then I can't help you with Adam. Now, climb your horse. Otherwise, there's gonna be trouble with Pa when you're late for dinner again."

Joe got into the saddle and looked at Hoss again. "And you really will come with us in summer?"

"Sure, I will. I have to take care of you, so you ain't at each other's throats. But you, Little Joe, ..." Hoss looked at him seriously. "... you promise to make greater efforts and not just to complain. Such a cattle drive is hard work, and we must always be able to rely on each other."

"Promised and thank you, Hoss."

Hoss patted the horse. "That's what brothers are for, Joe."

XX

Sarah was standing at the edge of the mountain, carefully looking down. "That's quite high."

Laughing Adam stood beside his sister. "You must look into the distance and not down."

His sister raised her head and looked forward. "But I wouldn't go alongside. There's nothing at all."

With a smile, Adam sat down on the ground and slapped his hand on the ground. Still hesitantly, she sat beside him and let her legs dangle over the edge. "I heard you and Pa are arguing more frequently lately."

Instantly Sarah looked down again and nodded. "I also had to go to the barn very often."

Adam put his hand under her chin and lifted her head. "Always look forward to solve a problem, not down. There you won't find the right way. "

"You're always looking down when you're arguing with Pa."

"Just in the beginning, to gather myself and to think about my words, so I don't shoot thoughtless arrows. When I talk to him, I look him in the eyes."

She looked forward, but nervously played with her fingers. "I think, Pa doesn't love me. With Sophie he has more patience and ..." Her voice trailed off. "... he likes Neisha more than me."

Horrified, Adam looked at his sister. "What makes you say that?"

"He never calls me by my Indian name, but she only."

Energetically, Adam shook his head. "Winona, that has nothing to do with you, that he calls Emilie only with her Indian name. Bridget and I are to blame. By this name we wanted to thank Ma for helping Bridget, while I was so sick, and for much more what she did for me since I came back from Boston. Pa addresses Emilie only with her Indian name, so that when he talks about her, he doesn't have Ma in mind."

With her feet Sarah was still dangling against the rock wall and looked silently into the distance. "But he still doesn't like me like the others. He doesn't read me any more stories in the evening, and he used to say good night much longer to Sophie than to me. He isn't interested in what I'm doing. He never says he's proud of me when I get a good grade at school."

With a deep sigh, Sarah lay down on her back and looked into the sky at the clouds. Adam thoughtfully sat down and thought of his childhood, which had been almost the same. How often had he thought his father didn't like him like Hoss. Ben had also taken for granted that he had brought good school grades. "I wanted to show Pa yesterday what Koko and the shaman have told me about the herbs that grow with us. I had written everything in my book carefully, but he just grumbled and said I should learn how to sew buttons."

Now Adam lay on his back and looked at the clouds. "You were with the shaman, and he told you about the healing herbs?"

With her eyes sparkling, she put her head to the side and looked at her brother. "At first he looked at me very skeptically, so I was almost scared, but then he told me a lot and, Wynono, ..." Now, not only her eyes, but her whole face shone. "... he also wants me to stay for a whole weekend in the village. Then he wants to show me the special herbs that can only be collected at night ... "Then her face became serious again and her eyes looked sad. "... but after Pa was so surly yesterday, I don't dare to ask him. He will laugh at me for sure."

He took her hand and held it as Koko had held his when he'd been angry at his father. "Yes, I think, unfortunately, you're right. Winona, I know Pa isn't easy, and he has his problems with understanding how we both think, but believe me, he loves you as much as the rest of us. He just can't show it to you and to me. I promise you can spend your weekend in the village with the shaman. I will tell Pa what a great honor it is that the shaman takes you with him. Because it doesn't often happen that someone is inaugurated into the secrets of the medicine man. You should be aware of this."

She didn't look at him as she nodded, but continued to look into the sky. "I know that. When I told the shaman how amazing it is, what kind of medicine can be made out of the plants and then showed him what I've already heard from Koko and written down in my book, he took me straight to his tipi."

"Then take good care of this book. It will always be something special for you."

She turned her head back to him. "Wynono, why does Pa never talk to me like you do? Why doesn't he want me to ask so many questions? "

Adam closed his eyes and pictures appeared in his mind. How he had asked himself exactely the same questions when he had been lying under the waggon every night. To this day, he had found no real answer. "I cannot answer you, my Sunshine, but you know you can come to me and Bridget with all your questions."

"I'm glad you live near us. So I can always look at the books of Bridget, even though she has groaned last week because she doesn't know where to put them all."

Adam had to smile when he thought about how much Bridget had cursed last week when she hadn't found a proper place in the house to prepare for the next day at school. At the dining table the children had been sitting, painting, and the kitchen table was just too small for her many books. "Don't tell her, Sunshine, but Hoss and I want to build a room for her next weekend, her own room, where she can prepare for the next day of school, or just read a book in front of the fireplace."

"Do you build such a large window like that in your office? She said to Ma, how much she loves to see the mountains. Especially when you're up here."

"Of course, we will do that. All I want is that she feels comfortable."

Sarah began to laugh. "What's wrong? Why are you laughing?"

She put her head back aside to look at him. "When last Sunday you were with us for dinner, and you kissed Bridget in the living room, Pa groaned loudly, telling Ma, you behave like a little school boy who has just fallen in love."

Now Adam had to laugh. "Well, if Pa still says the same in ten years, then I'm very satisfied."

Then Adam took a necklace from his pocket and handed it to Sarah, who looked at the pendant very surprised, but thoroughly. "What's this?"

"The pendant is supposed to represent the labyrinth of life. It's an Indian symbol and shows the intricate paths that you take throughout your life until you finally discover your own special path. It's to remind you not to give up easily, if you think your path of life has led you in the wrong direction. Because it takes a long time to find the right path. It isn't always easy to take this path, too. You will surely think in the coming years, am I doing the right thing? Shouldn't I take an easier way? If you ask yourself, look at the chain and think about your actions, and then you will recognize the right path again."

Sarah watched the pendant for a while. "But it's not so easy to do what I think. I don't want to go to the barn so often with Pa, because I have a different opinion."

Adam turned to the side and looked at his sister seriously. "You should have your own opinion, Winona, but you mustn't be cheeky, and you were against Pa. This is a wrong way."

She thought again about his words. "But I'm always so angry when he doesn't understand me, and then I cannot pay attention to my words."

A smile crossed Adams face. "That's why I always go back to my mountain. If I feel this anger or, as I say, this unrest in me, I'll withdraw and think about everything, and then it's usually better for me."

"But I cannot go to a mountain. Pa would never allow that. "

"No Sunshine, .." Adam laughed again. "... I wouldn't allow you either. But you can look for a place at the Ponderosa. A tree in the garden or the hayloft in the barn. Little Joe used to be hiding up there, when he had to think about something."

Again she took the pendant and held it in the air. Then she put the necklace around her neck and held the pendant in her hand and thought for a long time about his words.

XXX

"Ben, you just can't stand by and watch."

Ben shook his head and looked at Clement in disbelief. "Yes, but we will have no influence, and so far these are just thoughts. It's not even fixed whether we will really be separated from Utah."

The birthday celebration of Sarah and Adam was already approaching the evening. When his two children returned from the mountain at noon, Ben had the impression that his daughter had been very thoughtful, but when she had unwrapped her gift, she beamed all over her face. He would never have guessed that she would be so happy with a book about the different plants. As it looked, Emillia had been dead right. His attention returned to Clement.

"Ben, of course, Nevada will separate from Utah. It can't go on this way, and I don't understand that you watch the whole matter so indifferent. Just you must be interested that in this case the right people sit in the right places."

Ben looked at him. "Me? Why me?"

"Well Ben, sometimes I really wonder if you see anything else besides your ranch."

Ben looked at Bridget's father rather indignantly. But before he could vent his anger, Adam and Bridget joined them. "Are we disturbing you?"

Adam had noticed that his father looked quite annoyed at Clement. "No, you don't. Adam, I'm just trying to explain to your father that we cannot just watch the wrong people taking the fate of Nevada when we separate from Utah. We cannot allow the scalp bounty to be established."

"Scalp bounty?"

Irritated, Ben looked into the round. "Didn't you read that, Ben? They are thinking of passing a law, to offer a bounty for every Indian scalp. Like in California. And I don't need to remind you what that means for a part of your family."

Ben exhaled loudly. "No, I hadn't read that yet. But what can we do about it, except to take care that when time comes, we won't choose the wrong people?"

"We could do more, Ben ..." They all looked expectantly at Clement. "... we could stand for election ourselves."

"Papa .."

Bridget had to smile. "What's so inconceivable about it? Who, if not us, could better direct the destinies of Nevada?"

"We?"

Ben shook his head. "Certainly not me. I'm already struggling with the problem of finding a new teacher. I've got no interest in taking care of the construction of a new state."

Bridget still looked amused. "Ben, I cannot help you establishing a new state, but I think I have found a teacher with whom my dear husband can live. If you like, I'll tell you about him."

Relieved Ben looked at her. "Oh, yes, please do. So that we can finally get this topic off the table. "

While Bridget talked with Ben about the teacher, Clement glanced over the rim of his glass to Adam. Both looked into each other's eyes, and then Clement nodded to his son-in-law, signaling to follow him.


	78. Chapter 78

"I not think that right."

Riccardo pulled Bernardo by the sleeve along the alley. "Of course it's right."

Bernardo stopped and looked at his friend. "Bernardo, you seem always to be happy when you watch them breaking horses and so this will certainly be something special."

"But not right, not go to school."

Frederic's son rolled his eyes. "For goodness sake, Bernardo, don't always be so decent. Just remember that we will have a lot of fun."

"But trouble later at home also."

With his back pressed against the wall, Bernardo peered round the corner to see if the road was free. "What might happen? Uncle Adam and Aunt Bridget will be a bit grumpy, but nothing more. My punishment will be much worse. I can't work at the ranch for a week. But as Little Joe said, sometimes it's worth the trouble."

Surprised. Riccardo looked at his Mexican friend. "What's the matter, Bernardo? Why do you look so concerned? You're not afraid of Uncle Adam and Aunt Bridget?"

Bernardo's shoulders slumped. "What if say, I not nice and must go to other family? If they not want be parents of mine? You're in familia, I need one."

Now Riccardo looked around the corner, but the street still wasn't free. "You don't have to worry about that. Just because you skip school, they won't send you away. And if Ron is right, then the trouble is worth it. It should be a real wild horse, and whoever manages to stay on it for more than ten seconds gets twenty-five dollars."

Bernardo grinned, but grabbed Riccardo by the arm. "But you not want join?"

His friend laughed loudly. "Oh no, this trouble I would get in then wouldn't be worth it. Come on. The street is clear."

Crouched they ran along the wall and then ran across the street to the next alley. "But there will certainly be some interesting rides to be seen. Bernardo, I don't know how you are feeling, but I can't wait to break a horse. Uncle Adam sat his first time on a wild horse when he was ten years old. I'd like to do that too, and if I can break my three or four horses a day, I'll join the cattle drive."

"You're to be a cowboy?"

"Of course. I don't want to do anything else. Don't you?"

"Do not know if Señor Adam wants."

Riccardo groaned. "Don't always say Señor Adam. He's your dad now. Really, Bernardo sometimes I get the impression you're afraid of Uncle Adam."

A little sad Bernardo looked to the sandy ground. "I never have ... Dad. .. So not know what doing right or not."

"Just stay the way you are and now and then we're doing a little nonsense, then all is fine, and you don't have to be afraid of him. He surely won't eat you for dinner."

Riccardo ran on when he noticed that his friend didn't follow him. He turned and saw Bernardo looking at him wide eyed and open-mouthed. Looking at the sky, Riccardo ran back. "That was a joke, Bernardo. Uncle Adam wouldn't eat a child for dinner."

Relieved the boy exhaled and wanted to run, as Riccardo grinned cheekily. "He only does it for breakfast."

Bernardo took his friend in a headlock. "Not funny. I never know you joking, or not."

Both boys were hardly able to stand on their feet because of laughing. "Let go of me, Bernardo, or we'll never get to the wildest horses of all Nevada."

Still giggling, they ran along the little alley. Carefully Riccardo peered again around the corner and then pulled his friend by the arm into the street. "Now it's not far off. Just around the corner. There we can hide under the carriage of the livery stable. There we have …."

He didn't get any further. Suddenly he felt a hand on the collar and had the feeling that he was lifted into the air. "Hey, let go of me!"

Bernardo was also held tight by the collar, writhing and cursing. "Maltido!"

"Could you please tell me what you are doing on this street at this time? If I'm not mistaken, you should be at school by now."

The boys looked at each other and didn't know what to say, so they tried to watch the Sheriff as innocently as possible. "Tom, ... we, ... well, ... Bernardo has a belly ache."

"No, I not have."

"Oh, for goodness sake, Bernardo!"

Riccardo rolled his eyes again. "I not lying. Skip school yes, for wild horse, but not lie."

Riccardo said nothing more, but looked at Tom with his arms crossed. "So you wanted to sneak into Olsen's stable to watch the crazy guys riding the horse?"

Both boys gave him no answer. While Bernardo looked at the ground, Riccardo looked at Tom defiantly. "Since you don't want to answer me, I'll bring you both back to school. Let's see what Bridget will say!"

Riccardo blew up his cheeks and then exhaled loudly. "Tom, you're so mean. You used to skip school with Uncle Adam, too."

"Yes, I did, my young friend, but unlike you ..." He put Riccardo's hat on properly. "... we didn't get caught, and certainly not by the Sheriff."

He pushed the boys down the road toward school. "I'm sure this week Adam will have to do without your help."

"You could just let us go."

"Certainly not, son. If you get up to nonsense and get caught, you've got to live with the punishment. Now get going, you two."

With heads down, Bernardo and Riccardo went back to school in front of Tom. Bernardo tilted his head and whispered to his friend. "Next time, I say, where run along."

"You would skip school with me again?"

"Sí, but only when new teacher there. That wiser."

The boys were grinning.

XXX

"Here, catch!"

He had to hurry to stretch out his arms to catch his bag, which the coachman threw to him. Surprised, he looked around. Actually, he had expected Bridget to await him, or hadn't she received his telegram?

„Curt …!"

Immediately he turned to the voice, and a laugh spread across his face as he saw Bridget coming toward him. Joyfully he took her in the arms. "Bridget, and I thought you forgot me."

She broke from his embrace. "Curt, I never would. After all, I was the one who got you the job here."

Her face became serious. "Curt, I'm really sorry for Ashley."

Slightly smiling Curt shrugged. "I'm over it. I'm just glad it happened before we were on the ship to England. Her family lives there, and that's why I wanted to accept the job over there." 

She looked at him skeptically. "And you're sure you're ready to work again? Her death isn't even a year ago."

His smile grew stronger. "As ready as never before. I assure you, I've taken care enough to wash down the pain. And if we're honest, I've only pitied myself. She wasn't the love of my life."

For a moment, Bridget held her breath and closed her eyes. She looked at him with determination. "Curt, I thought we'd already settled that in New York then? If you still have hopes in this respect, you should take your bag and get back into the stagecoach and look for another job somewhere else."

Curt began to smile. "Still the little self-confident fighter. No, don't worry. I'm also over that. Besides ..." He took her hand and touched her wedding ring. "... I've heard that I'm too late. I admit, I was very surprised when I read that you were still here in Virginia City. When we last saw each other, you wanted to leave soon."

She pulled back her hand. "Yes. After that a lot has changed. I'm happily married and got four children."

Surprised Curt frowned. "I know I've drunk too much during the last few months, but our last meeting isn't so long ago."

Bridget laughed. "Emilie will soon be one year old. Aiyana and Chesmu we have adopted, and for Bernardo we're just waiting for the documents so that the adoption is legal."

"You haven't changed a bit. You've always said that you want to continue to care for as many children as possible and for them to attend school. As it stands, you've found a man who accepts your stubbornness and your quite crazy ideas and views at times. But I hope I don't need to worry that I'll get punched on my nose when I want to go for dinner with you."

Bridget smiled slightly, trying to keep a straight face. "No, you won't get punched on your nose. He will shoot you right away, if you just forget for a tiny moment that I'm a married woman."

Curt pressed his lips and looked at her then exaggerated anxiously. "So he isn't the shopkeeper from around the corner or a small bank clerk?"

Bridget just shook her head and grinned broadly. "I think I'll show you the house you can rent. It's also not far from the school, and on Saturday evening you can come to us for dinner, and we can talk about the school. Then you can decide if you want to accept the job after summer or not."

Curt picked up his bag and offered Bridget his arm. She hooked up with him and they both went off. "Of course I'll stay. I already told you in New York that I can imagine it very well working with you at a school. Well, now it's a very small school, but I think we'll be a good team anyway, and in the next few weeks, when my boxes arrive with the books, you'll be amazed at what has been written lately."

"I'm already looking forward to it, but now we look at the house and then go for a meal. I told him I wouldn't be back until late afternoon."

XX

When Adam got off the horse, he looked around in amazement. Hadn't Hoss needed his horse all day? He wouldn't be sick? He tied Sport and still quite confused he went to the door and knocked. It took a bit, then his brother opened the door and pushed him back slightly when Adam was about to enter the house. "What's the matter, Hoss?" Then his heart almost stopped. "Is something wrong with Koko?"

Quickly Hoss shook his head and whispered. "No, ... no, everything's fine with her."

Adam tried to look past Hoss. "Is something wrong with Travis?"

Hoss breathed heavily and tried to push Adam away. "Adam, I think ..."

"Oh, who do we have here?"

Koko appeared at the door, and with her arms crossed and a very angry look, she glared at Adam. "It's nice to see you tonight, Wynono. My dear husband didn't tell me, that you wanted to drop by."

Adam's eyes went to Hoss, and he couldn't hide his views, which expressed his astonishment at the whole situation. Not only that he had an appointment with his brother for tonight since last week, but also about the fact that Koko was obviously angry with him, and he had no idea why this was so. Hoss still pushed him with his hand against his chest to get him away from the house. "Well, uhm ..., Adam just wanted to ... go."

Adam was quite undecided about what to do or say, but Koko grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the house. "That's silly, Hoss. And you don't need to protect him."

Adam looked at his arm and then at Koko and was more or less dragged in. "Koko, can you ..."

"Shut up, Adam, and sit down."

She pushed the kitchen chair toward him. Slowly Adam sat down and looked at Hoss, who stood a bit apart from him with a slightly lowered head, and looked shyly at him with his hands in his pockets. Koko leaned against the sink and only looked at him. Adam took a deep breath and was about to say something when his girlfriend snapped at him again. "Don't you dare say a word."

"But ..."

She raised her finger and leaned slightly forward. Immediately Adam stopped and looked with a questioning glance back at Hoss. "Koko, .. he knows ... I mean, how can ..."

When his wife's finger went to him, Hoss fell silent. They were silent for a few minutes, and Adam tried not to look at his friend. "Regarding your great plan, have you ever thought a minute of the farm and of me?"

Adam's head turned to the left, but Hoss's eyes were focused on the floor. "Koko, you know, I always think of you, but I really don't know what Hoss or I did wrong."

She came up very close to him. "Do you notice anything on me, Wynono?"

He leaned back a little, as she stood so close to him. Then he scratched at his forehead and exhaled slightly. "Well, you're pretty ... angry."

Koko came very close to him with her head. "Yes, I am, but I don't mean that."

Pleading he looked at her. "Koko, ... please …"

"It's obvious. You are indeed brothers. From you I didn't expect anything else, but from my husband, I did."

Furiously, her eyes wandered to Hoss, who didn't dare to look at her. "Wynono, answer me three questions. Do you have problems with your back?"

He shook his head. "Are you having trouble with your leg?"

Again he shook his head. "Then the last question. Have you feeling in your hand?"

Adam looked at his left hand and made a fist and opened it again. "You do not have to answer me, Wynono. But give me just one good reason why Hoss must join you on the cattle drive."

Adam exhaled. That was the reason. Hoss' decision to join the cattle drive in summer. But he wondered why Koko was so angry? When his brother had joined him previously, she had had no objection. "You have no idea why I'm so angry, do you?"

Carefully, he shook his head. "Do you know what will be in summer when you're on the cattle drive?"

And then he knew it all at once. He looked at Hoss, then he stood up slowly. "Koko, I'm sorry. When Hoss, ... well ..." He looked back at his brother. "Well, when we decided that Hoss would come along, I haven't thought about it."

"That would be even better if you had made this decision on purpose. Adam, you know that I have no problems, if Hoss helps you at work on the ranch. But I'm really wondering what's happening on these cattle drives, that my dear husband would like to join you without wasting a thought, even this year, and without a convincing reason."

Quite embarrassed Adam scratched his chest, squinting slightly to his brother. Hoss pulled himself together and stood beside Adam. "Koko, ... well, ... Adam didn't ask me, but .." He wiggled embarrassedly with his head and looked at Koko shyly. "... He and Joe just don't really get along, and I thought I'd ride with them and keep an eye on them." He grinned at his big brother. "Otherwise good old Adam won't only sell the cattle at the destination, but also poor Little Joe."

Adam looked at him obliquely. "You still don't get along with Joe? I thought since the roundup it has gotten better?"

Amazed, Koko looked at the two brothers. Her mood got a little better. Adam breathed deeply and scratched his forehead. "He's still very impatient and never listens to me properly. I can say whatever I want, but he feels personally attacked by everything I say."

Adam leaned against the kitchen table and crossed his arms. "I think you just need more patience with our little brother."

Annoyed, Adam let his arms drop. "Oh come on, Hoss. I've been very patient with Joe for a long time, but if you didn't pamper him all the time, he'd behave like a real young man. He will be seventeen in summer, but I still hear, 'Have more patience with him, Adam. He's still so young, Adam. He's not so strong, Adam ...' Adam took another breath. "He didn't really work on the ranch until spring. How is this going to be after school, if we don't come down on him right now? How should the men take him seriously if they always see him as a little boy?"

Koko sat down at the kitchen table and looked at the two men. "Have you ever wondered if the ranch might not be the best for Joe?"

Hoss sat down on the other chair. "Yes, it is. That's what Little Joe told me lately, but he's got the opinion, Adam would only boss him around and look for mistakes."

His slight growling showed how annoyed Adam was about this subject. Koko turned to him. "Adam, why don't you give him some more time? If you're like now, I might understand Little Joe. It's plain to see how the whole thing annoys you."

Adam shook his head in disbelief. "May I remind you that he's leaving school now? How do you actually imagine that, when he's constantly pampered by all? How is he to lead the Ponderosa later when Pa doesn't live anymore and something happens to me? Everything we have built up for years would be destroyed because my little brother has never learned to work." 

"Oh Adam, now you're exaggerating."

Adam stood at the table and looked at Hoss furiously. "No Hoss, I'm not. You have the farm and you're happy here, and it should stay this way. I cannot expect you to give up your dream because Joe doesn't want to work."

"Wynono, you're looking anxiously into the future, but ..."

"Koko, stop it! There are moments when I have to plan ahead, and I don't see who from the family should succeed me at the Ponderosa. I cannot rely on the fact that Travis will have fun at the ranch work later, and for Bernardo I don't see where his path will lead."

Adam had leaned his hands on the table and looked from Hoss to Koko. She put her hand on his, and spoke with a gentle voice. "Wynono, you don't know what future will bring. Yes, I agree, at the moment I can't imagine Joe to take over the business of the Ponderosa. But it won't go any faster if you don't have patience with him, and who knows, we are a big family. It doesn't have to be Joe, who will continue the dream of your father."

With a deep breath Adam pulled his hand away and stood at the kitchen sink. "But he must start to take responsibility and think about his actions at last. How's that supposed to work during the cattle drive when I have to keep an eye on him all the time?"

Hoss glanced at Koko. "That's why I'd like to accompany Adam. Not only is it a special time that you spend together, but I can also take care of Joe, so Adam can run the trail in peace. And the baby won't come until we get back."

He took Kokos's hand and looked at her lovingly with a hangdog look. "Hoss, it's not only that the baby's coming soon, but that you haven't thought about how I'll cope on the farm here. I haven't only the work, but Travis too, and you know well that the baby can also come while you're on the cattle drive."

Adam stood behind Hoss and put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Koko's right, Hoss. You can't leave her alone in summer, and I'll get along with Joe."

Hoss looked up at his brother, and Koko stood up. "You two are impossible. You know very well that I can't watch if you look so bashfully. I'll talk to my father, and if then also Riccardo and Bernardo help me during the holidays, we will manage it that way."

With a very embarrassed look Adam scratched behind the ear and looked at his friend. "Are you sure, Koko? I mean, …"

"If you don't want me to be very angry again, then grab your brother, and have a nice evening, but Adam, ..." She pointed the knife at him, which she had just taken in the kitchen. "... if I can pick up my husband from Tom tomorrow, then you will see what happens when I'm really angry."

Adam pulled Hoss by the arm and went to the door. "I'll get him home on time."

Hoss pushed his brother forward. "I don't have to be brought home. Most of the time, I've had to take you home."

As the door slammed shut behind the two brothers, Koko only shook her head.

XX

Riccardo put the last box next to the wagon and looked at the paddock fence. He noticed his uncle riding up. He immediately ran to the fence, sat on it and waited. Adam stopped Sport next to his nephew looking past him. "Hello, cowboy. As I can see, you've been busy already. Where are Bernardo and Little Joe?"

Riccardo looked over his shoulder. "Bernardo should come any minute. He only stows the last larriats in the chamber, which we should check."

As his nephew didn't speak any further, but lowered his head, Adam already knew where his little brother certainly had not been. "Riccardo, look at me, please. Where is Little Joe? He should have helped you at work."

Riccardo replied rather quietly. He knew this would mean trouble for Little Joe, and then he would vent his anger on him again. "He said he had something to do for school after lunch, and then come here for breaking horses."

Riccardo looked at his uncle again, but he couldn't tell what he was thinking. After a short moment, Adam leaned against the saddle horn and glanced at Riccardo. "Well. Then he would have to be here at once. Cowboy, would you take care of Sport while I talk to Tico about which horses we are going to work on first?"

"Of course I do."

Before the boy got up, he hesitated for a moment. "Uncle Adam, can I ask you something?"

"Surely."

"Why did Hoss give you the black stallion and didn't keep it?"

Adam turned slightly in the saddle and watched the horses with whom they were about to work. "I didn't get him from Hoss. The Flenders brothers have sold him to us. Why do you ask?"

Again Riccardo hesitated because he didn't know if he could already speak his mind. "Well, I ..." He took a deep breath and continued with a strong voice, "I've looked at him. I think he's too good for the work on the ranch. He would rather be something for the breeding of Koko and Hoss. That's why I was wondering."

Adam sat up in the saddle. "You were in the paddock with the horses?"

"Don't be angry, Uncle Adam. I was very careful. Amarok has shown me how to approach the horses, and what I have to look out for, so they won't shy."

Adam got a little pale. "Riccardo, if your father had noticed that you were approaching the wild horses, then we both could have chosen a different place for life. I don't want you to do this again when none of us is there. Understood?"

Riccardo looked at him with disappointed eyes. "Yes, Sir."

Again Adam looked at the black stallion and dismounted. "Now, take Sport and tie him up, and I'll talk to Tico with what horse we'll start, and then ..." He handed Riccardo the reins. "... I will look at the stallion, and if you're right, we'll take him to the farm in the next few days."

With a proud chest and beaming eyes Riccardo took the reins. "You'll see, Uncle Adam. He's excellent for breeding."

Laughing Adam pushed Riccardo's hat down. "Yeah, and you'll be able to take care of him at the farm in summer, but only if you don't skip school again."

Quite depressed, the boy pushed his hat back. "You've been skipping school with Tom. That's what Jörn told us."

Adam merely raised his finger. "No school skipping. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir." Riccardo left with his head down, but then began to grin when his uncle said softly, "Or don't be so stupid and get caught. And not at all by the Sheriff."

Adam put on his gloves and looked at the horse that had just been made ready for him. Still nothing was to be seen of Joe, and so he had decided to start, so that they would be able to do the work scheduled for today. With a satisfied smile he looked at Bernardo and Riccardo, who were sitting on the fence on the other side to watch. Why was he so concerned about the future of the Ponderosa? He had someone there who was whole-heartedly in the matter and could already recognize a good horse. Then, although no Cartwright would be responsible, the ranch would definitely stay in the family.

Once again Adam looked in the direction of his father's house, but still there was no sign of his little brother. However, as he had promised Hoss and Koko to have more patience with Joe, he tried to swallow his anger and focused on his impending challenge.

After his second horse, he saw how Little Joe had come leisurely across and sat down beside the boys on the fence. Actually, Adam was about to take a break, but now he didn't want to do Joe the favor and go to him, then let him get on a horse. So he gave Tico the sign that he was to get another horse ready for him.

Little Joe had to wait a good twenty minutes until Adam waved him over. Already duly bored, he jumped of the fence and ran to his brother. Before, however, he turned to Riccardo and Bernardo again and grinned at them both arrogantly. "Now take a good look. Now you get a lesson on how to break a horse like that."

Shaking their heads, the two boys looked at each other, because they already knew the sayings of Joe sufficiently, and also what usually happened thereafter. Slowly, Adam took off his gloves, tucked them under his belt, and waited for his brother, who came running up to him. He held his breath for a moment, trying to keep quiet. "It's great that your way has led up here, Little Joe. I didn't know you had so much to do for school just before the holidays, that you didn't even have the time to help the boys at work."

Joe pulled his hat deeper into his face because he knew exactly that Adam wouldn't take another lie. He only needed to talk with Bridget, to know that it was just an excuse and, moreover, a pretty stupid one, too. But when Riccardo had asked him when he would finally come, nothing better had occured to him. "Now I'm here."

He raised his head and looked defiantly at Adam, whose cheekbone twitched slightly. "Then put on your gloves and tell me what you need to pay attention to."

Joe swallowed. The gloves. He knew he had forgotten something. The gloves were still lying on his bed, or maybe down on the dining table? He shrugged. "I don't need gloves. This way I have a better feeling in my hand, and I have often repeated what I need to think off. I'm not a beginner."

Joe wanted to go on as Adam held him roughly at the arm. "You're a beginner, Little Joe. Just because you've been on a horse twice, that doesn't make you a professional."

"You're just jealous because I've brought them to a standstill at once and you didn't."

Joe pulled his arm away and walked on. Adam rolled his eyes and closed both hands to a fist. He knew it had been a mistake to put him on horses that were almost broken. But their father wanted it this way, and as he had been watching Joe's first ride, so Adam couldn't use any other horse. Adam was still in the corral, when Joe gave the signal to go, and before Adam realized it properly, Gus had already opened the gate. With quick steps, Adam got into safety and jumped onto the fence. With an evil glare, he looked at the cowboy, who apologized with a shrug. Adam nodded to him, but it felt as if Gus had realized Adam was still in the corral. But Adam couldn't waste a thought about it for long, since he had a moan at Joe, who had apparently forgotten everything that was important when a horse was to be broken. So it didn't take long, and his little brother was thrown in a high arc. Adam's patience was put to the test again, so he tried to cool down on the way to Joe. His brother was already standing again and brushed off the dust. "Well, I'll show him now. You don't throw a Joe Cartwright so easily."

"You don't show anybody anything today. For you it's finished."

"What's that supposed to mean, Adam? How should I learn something if you don't give me a chance?"

"You want to learn something? Then try to remember the basic things. You've been lucky that you haven't broken your bones. And I don't want to talk about the fact that you have given the signal to go on, although you've seen that I was still in the danger area."

Naughtily Joe grinned at him. "You're getting slow on your old legs, big brother?"

Adam breathed deeply and very slowly. "Joe, you can leave now."

"And if I don't?"

It was just a wink, as Adam had already grabbed his brother by the collar and dragged him close. "You're leaving now and you're thinking about how to behave on a ranch, especially if the name is Cartwright."

He let go of Little Joe and went back to Tico. Joe still looked after him, but then he went back to the fence. "My goodness, Joe, that was a takeoff. Next time you just have to put more pressure on your legs, and you should wear glo ... "

Joe jumped over the fence with a set and pulled Riccardo down. "Do you little squirt want to tell me how to break a horse? Just get growing so you don't have to go to bed by eight at night."

Riccardo pushed Little Joe away. "I may not stay awake for as long as you do, but I have a better idea of how work looks on a ranch, and I'll definitely be more able to break horses. Because I know how that works."

With one hand Joe pushed him against the shoulder. "And? Will it get you anything?"

Again he pushed the boy's shoulder. "Do you really think you'll be the boss here? You can quickly forget about that. You're not a Cartwright."

Joe crossed his arms and looked at Riccardo arrogantly. "If you ask me nicely later, then I will eventually give you a job here."

"You don't have anything to say here, Little Joe. Ben and Uncle Adam are still in charge."

"My dear father works less every year, and your oh-so-great Uncle Adam won't work here for much longer. Why else do you think he absolutely wants me to work here? So prepare yourself, you little good-for-nothing. The days are counted, where somebody takes you seriously."

Bernardo wanted to hold back his friend, because he had noticed Riccardo getting angry. But Frederic's son already pounced on Joe, and it wasn't long and the two boys were rolling on the ground. Although Little Joe was almost ten years older, he had to fight fairly hard with Riccardo.

Tico nudged Adam as they were about to talk about the next day. With his head he pointed to the other side of the corral. At first, Adam only watched as Joe and Riccardo pushed each other, but when his nephew went after his brother, he ran toward them with his eyes rolling. He was a hundred percent sure that Little Joe had started the trouble, to vent his anger on someone. Adam picked up his pace when he saw that Little Joe gained more and more the upper hand and repeatedly struck on the lying down Riccardo. With one hand he jumped over the fence, but before his feet touched ground again, he knew it had been a bad idea. Still in the air he felt the drawing in his back, which extended to the leg after landing. Already in the morning he had planned to only help his father in the office, because he had done quite a lot during the last few days and had felt this tingling in his hand again.

He reached the two boys and wanted to pull Joe by the collar off his nephew. At that moment, Joe swung his arm and hit Adam's face with his elbow. Shortly Adam staggered back, but then immediately grabbed his brother. With an anger that he could hardly restrain, he pulled Joe to his feet. "Let go of me, Adam! I need to show this little dwarf who calls the shots."

Riccardo was quickly back on his feet and wanted to attack Little Joe again, but his run was stopped by Adam's hand. "You both stop immediately with this mischief. What is this? What's the reason, Joe, that you have set off for Riccardo?"

"The little smartass thinks he knows everything better."

Little Joe tried unsuccessfully to turn from Adam's grip. "But Riccardo just saying what you did wrong when riding horse."

Abruptly Joe stopped and looked at Bernardo furiously. "What's the matter, Little Joe? Can you think of nothing more, just because a real Cartwright talks to you?"

Joe was about to reply at once, but he managed to slow down when he saw Adam's horrified face. "What's this nonsense with real Cartwright? And why do you have to punch Riccardo, even if he just wants to help you?"

Joe was able to break away from his brother and now stood before him. "Adam, he's only eight years old and wants to tell me how to break a horse properly."

"Yes, he's only eight, but I'm sure Riccardo has already mastered all the basics and doesn't make these mistakes as you."

Angry Joe narrowed his eyes. "Sure, he's your darling just like Sarah. The two can allow themselves everything, and you would stand by them."

Adam let go of Riccardo and walked a few steps away from the group to calm down. He thought of Emilia's words when he had talked to her about his problems with Joe. She too had told him to be patient. The aggressiveness that Joe directed against him at the moment was nothing unusual, but it was usually directed against the father. In his mind Joe would only be trxing to fix his place in the family. He wasn't a real man yet, but he wasn't the little boy either. So Adam took a deep breath and turned back to the small group. "Joe, I think you should go home now, and tomorrow morning we will try again with the horses."

Joe raised his head. "Why not today, or are you already done by the three horses you have broken?"

With two fingers, Adam rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "No Joe, I'm neither done, nor tired, but I think you wouldn't listen to me today anyway."

"But with him ..." He pointed to Riccardo. "... you would go on because he's such a great cowboy. You know Adam, gradually I get the impression that Gus is right."

Confused, Adam looked at his brother. "Gus?"

"Yes, he told me that Frederic isn't Riccardo's father, but you, and when I look at the little smartass, he looks more like you than Frederic. Then it's also clear why you take care of him so well."

Absolutely stunned Adam laughed but at the same moment looked at his brother dead serious. "Go home right away, and if I hear you spread such a nonsense once, I will quickly forget you're my brother, Joseph."

"Because of me you can just forget about that. I don't need a brother like you."

Adam crossed his arms and looked up. As the pulling in his back grew stronger, he shifted his weight to the healthy leg. "Joe, ... just go!"

He opened his eyes again as Joe rushed at him and pushed him against his chest with all his strength. "I hate you and your arrogant attitude!"

Adam couldn't keep his balance because his weight was resting on one leg. He flailed, stumbled backwards, ignoring the wagon behind him. He hadn't caught himself again, and fell backwards over the drawbar. His fall found a rough end in the many stacked empty crates Bernardo and Riccardo had gathered for the trail during the last hour. Even before he was properly on the ground, he held his breath. For a sharp stab had shot through his back when he fell over the drawbar. His leg had hurt at first, but now on the ground, he no longer felt it. He lay there looking into the sky. And very slowly an incredible rage at his brother spread in him. Since talking to Bridget at school, he'd always listened to his body and stopped working when he realized it was too much. Every day he had been working on strengthening his muscles to get them as strong as before his fall from the slope, and now his brother had once again managed to destroy everything with a thoughtless action.

"Uncle Adam, ..."

Adam put his head to the side. Beside him knelt Riccardo, looking at him with concern. Bernardo crouched beside him with his eyes wide open, unable to say anything. Adam took a deep breath and felt the tingling and pain in the leg returning. Relieved but still with anger inside, he turned and made it on all fours. "Adam, ... I'm so sorry."

Adam raised his head, and very carefully, he straightened up. His eyes were all the time directed at his little brother, who was no more than three steps ahead of him. Joe went back a few steps, so shocked he was by the anger he saw in his brother's eyes. With very quiet, but a very penetrating voice Adam hissed at him. "Get out of my sight. Otherwise, I can't guarantee that I won't forget that we have the same father. "Adam, ..."

"GET OUT, JOE!"

Little Joe closed his mouth. With that voice, Adam had never spoken to him before. His eyes went to the two boys, who looked at Adam just as frightened. Then Joe turned around and ran to the ranch house. With his hand closed into a fist, Adam tried to calm down again. After a while he looked at his son and Riccardo. "Guys, can you take Sport to the barn and take care of him? I don't need him any more today."

Both nodded quickly. Then came, still somewhat intimidated, Riccardo to him and took his hand. "Are you all right, Uncle Adam?"

With his eyes closed, Adam answered the question. "I just need some rest now."

"Uncle Adam, ...?"

Adam looked at his nephew, who had just whispered. "... That's not true what Little Joe said. My dad is my dad, isn't he?"

Still very cautious, Adam turned to Riccardo and touched his shoulder. "Frederic is your dad, Riccardo. No one else. Don't listen to the stupid gossip of Joe or anyone else. Promise?"

You could hear Riccardo swallowing. "Yes, Sir."

"Fine. If someone's looking for me, I'm home."

Bernardo picked up Adam's hat and handed it to him. "You can spend the afternoon with Riccardo. Just be at home for dinner."

"Sí, Señor."

XX

Bridget quietly closed the bedroom door. She was glad that the children were all asleep so early. She was still scared stiff. When Adam had come home in the afternoon, he was pale with pain and could hardly walk. Fortunately Hoss had brought a pot of paste for Adam's back on his last visit. So she was able to apply it in the afternoon. Till the evening he had been wandering through the house because he could neither sit nor lie. It wasn't until shortly before dinner when he went upstairs to lie down. He had then fallen asleep fairly quickly. Because she had just put Emilie to bed a short time later, and he hadn't been awake.

She undressed and went to bed. Adam lay with his back to her, and so she only put her hand on his arm. He didn't say a word when he took her hand, then put it on his chest and pressed it tightly. Even when she realized after a while that he was asleep again, she didn't take her hand away. She was concerned about the fear she'd seen in his eyes this afternoon. For even if she tried to be strong for him, she was as terrified as he was that the worst could really happen.

XXX

Joe was sure. Hoss or Adam didn't have to ride behind at their first cattle drive. They were now on the road for almost three weeks and already after the second day Little Joe knew that his big brother wanted revenge on him for what had happened a few weeks ago. He couldn't even take his horse with him, although he could ride on Cochise now, but no. Adam thought Cochise wasn't ready to join a cattle drive. It wouldn't surprise Joe when they came back and Cochise would be sold, and that for one reason only, because Adam couldn't get over the fact that Joe had really taken care of Cochise for three years. Why hadn't Adam married Koko, and Hoss would have stayed on the Ponderosa? Then everything would be much easier.

He wiped the dust from his face, took a sip from the canteen and wondered for the hundredth time that day what he was doing here. He was a Cartwright. He would have to tell the guys what to do and not swallow dust behind. He just tucked away the canteen, as Hoss came to his side. "Well, little brother? How's it going back here?"

Joe just turned his head to Hoss. "You can tell Adam, his punishment works very well."

"Punishment?" 

"Well, why else do I have to ride back here and do this stupid job?"

"Because everyone has to do it on his first cattle drive. Joe, can you stop bitching and thinking you just have to do it because Adam wants to annoy you?"

"So what's the reason that I have to swallow dust for three weeks? I belong to the family, but I'm treated like one of Tico's cowboys. I bet if Riccardo goes on his first trail, that he doesn't have to do this."

Joe's horse stopped with a jerk. Hoss had taken hold of the reins and brought it to a halt. "Little Joe, if you don't stop bitching about everything and everyone right away, I'll go to Adam personally and tell him that you have to stay behind until the end of the cattle drive."

With an offended face, Joe let his horse trot again. "I can only see this as a punishment. Adam doesn't even talk to me."

"Yes, and why not? In his place, I'd have beaten you black and blue so that you couldn't sit on horseback till this very day."

Horrified, Joe looked at his brother. Hoss couldn't harm a fly. But, as he had just spoken to him, he was completely serious. "What have I done wrong?"

"Well, Little Joe, you really don't know? Not only do you complain about everything, and I really mean about everything, Adam says to you. Now you also claim that the son of his best friend is his as a matter of fact. Have you really thought about what you can cause by that?"

"I apologized, even if he, as I believe, didn't listen to me."

"Adam has been trying to teach you - ever since you were young - to think first and act then. He tries to explain to you the basics of ranching. He has always shown a great deal of patience, but with this statement and then even saying it in the presence of Riccardo, you've simply gone too far. Joe, and that wasn't the only thing he's holding against you from that day."

Hoss took Joe by the arm. "Joe, that was in Riccardo's mind even days later, but luckily he talked about it with Adam and not with Frederic. Don't you think he'd immediately grabbed Adam and asked if there was any truth to it? Just because Riccardo doesn't come after him at all, but more after Giovanna? And now imagine Riccardo between Adam and Frederic. Everyone would see Adam as Riccardo's father. Only because he has black hair like your brother and a darker complexion and the common interest in the ranch, too. Joe, with such a thoughtless remark you wouldn't only destroy a long-lasting friendship, but also two very happy marriages."

For a long time, Joe didn't say anything, but was stuck with his thoughts. He didn't want to argue with Adam all the time, but as soon as he saw him, he couldn't help himself. He didn't want him to notice that he didn't manage to do a lot of the ranch work, especially if Riccardo was there. "Hoss, why does Riccardo get along so well with Adam while I seem to be doing everything wrong?"

"Because Riccardo is listening to your brother so he can help us when he's old enough. Believe me, if we had taken the little one with us, he wouldn't have complained with a single word. Even if he had had his post back here till the last day. He wouldn't have bitched even if he couldn't sit in the saddle any more. Joe, you told me you want the men to take you seriously and to see you as a Cartwright. But they will listen to Riccardo rather than you, because he doesn't think he already can do everything. You're not to blame about the fact that you haven't had to help on the ranch like Adam or I in the past few years, but now you should start to learn, otherwise you will never gain a foothold."

"Do you think Adam will ever forgive me what I said? I mean, he used to be angry with me, but never for so long."

Hoss looked forward to Adam. Not only with Joe, his brother hardly talked. He had also talked to him only when absolutely necessary. Hoss didn't know what was going on with Adam, but it was certainly not just the quarrel that prevailed between him and Joe. Hoss looked at Little Joe and smiled. "Sure, little brother. If you show Adam from now on that you're finally a real Cartwright, he'll talk to you again."

"I hope so."

Silently Hoss rode for a while next to his brother.

XX

He leaned against Sport and then rubbed his eyes. He had guessed that it would be hard because he still hadn't recovered his old strength. But after the accident with the drawbar it was even worse than expected. Until a few days ago Adam had resisted, but since he had already suspected that it was going to happen, he had been provided with leaves of the shaman just before their departure. At first he had taken only a little of them, but now he had to admit that it wasn't enough.

He had the choice to go on with the pain for the next three weeks, or without pain, but to keep almost no food. He took a deep breath, reached into his saddlebag and pulled out the bag with the leaves. With another breath, he took two of the smallest and put them in his mouth. Then he would eat very little, in the hope that he could keep it down.

As so often in recent times, the pictures returned from the day he was standing on the slope, wondering how to get down there. But as before, no other solution occured to him to escape Kajika. With a sigh, he led his horse to the others and took a very small portion from the kitchen cart for breakfast. But he only thought that it was a small portion. Not long after breakfast his belly told him that it has been too big.

XX

Only a good two weeks and they would reach their destination, if such a storm as last week didn't come. Hoss had told him that it had cost them a good four days. Joe poked around with his food. He didn't have to ride at the back of the trail any longer, and even Tico had told him he was getting better, but Adam still didn't talk much to him. Most of all Adam had made Hoss pass on any information to him, but now he understood at least why his brother was so quiet. Hoss sat down next to him and poked him slightly with his fork in the arm. "Hey, you're day-dreaming again, little brother?"

Joe shook his head and continued to look at his plate. "Hey, what's up, kid?"

He didn't look up. "Why didn't you tell me, Hoss? Then I would have been different."

Hoss looked a little surprised, but that didn't stop him from eating his lunch. "Tell you what?"

"Well, that he will die."

"Who will die?"

Hoss put the next piece of potato into his mouth, but choked it up with Joe's next remarks. "Well, … Adam."

Hoss had to cough a few times before he could speak. "Adam? Why should Adam die? ... I mean, all right, sometime everyone will die, but I hope our stubborn brother stays with us for a long time."

Rattling loudly, Joe let his fork drop onto the plate. "You don't have to lie to me, Hoss! I'm not a little boy anymore. I've heard exactly how he said to you, that was for the grave, and then he showed you something. And as he looks, it probably won't take long."

Slowly Hoss put down his fork and thought about what Joe might mean. Then he remembered and had to laugh. "Joe, you can give up hope. Your brother will stay alive. We were talking about George's grave. We will pass it in a few days, and Adam has taken some of George's things out of the bunkhouse, he wants to lie down there."

"He won't die?"

Again Hoss laughed and hit Joe against the arm so that he almost fell off the bench. "But, ... Hoss, why does Adam look so bad?"

Hoss's laughter stopped immediately. So he hadn't just imagined that Adam looked so exhausted. As it seemed, his brother wasn't doing well.

"It's not just that he's so pale, Hoss. He eats almost nothing, and when he has eaten something ... "Joe looked around to see if anyone could hear him. "... he doesn't keep it for long."

Hoss nodded ponderously, since he had guessed what was wrong with Adam. And as it looked, it once again needed a serious brother-to-brother talk. Adam had promised him so many times that if he got problems with his back, he would tell him immediately. But as it looked, he had forgotten about that. Hoss stabbed a piece of potato and smiled. "Don't you worry about him. Once we are back on our way home, he'll be better again. You will understand this, if one day you're in love as much as our brother and miss your wife so dearly."

Hoss pushed the potato into his mouth as Joe looked at him obliquely. "Then you don't love Koko, or why can you eat and don't look as bad as Adam?"

Hoss looked at him with big eyes. "Yes, of course. For heaven's sake, don't tell her just the way I said it. I ... I express ... uhm ... my ... uhm .. "He looked back at the plate. "... yes, .. I express my longing with the fact that I eat more than usual."

For confirmation, he nodded several times and took the next potato into his mouth.

XX

Adam knelt before George's grave and buried the little box. "I found it at the time when we got your things out of the bunkhouse."

With a small grin he covered the hole with earth again. "Now I know at least what you were looking for in the first days on the trail, and why you were so angry with yourself. But I've found it, and now she's back with you."

Adam was sure, even if he hadn't read any of the letters, that they were from the woman in the picture that was in the box as well. George's great love. "I've also listened to you and haven't let her go. And now she's not only in my heart."

He looked ahead. In the distance he could see the cattle slowly passing by. "And I've also listened to your advice to trust Tico. Now I'll see what he has learned from you, and if he lets me drink more than two beers at the end of the trail."

Then Adam's gaze became very serious again. "I could use you and your advice so badly to deal with Little Joe. You would certainly have some advice for me how I could inspire him more to work on the ranch, without constantly thinking that I want him to fail." His voice was almost a whisper. "I just want to help him so he doesn't risk his life because he thinks only about his fun with all his actions."

Slowly Adam rose and put his hat back on. Then he looked into the cloudless sky. "I have to go on, foreman, or else I get in trouble with you if I don't arrive at my destination in time, and that simply because I've been thinking too much again."

Adam was about to get to his horse as he looked back at the grave. "But if you have a little time, maybe you could give me some advice on what to do with Little Joe."

With a smile, Adam took the reins in his hands as he felt a soft wind whirling around him. "I'm trying to understand, George."

He swung into the saddle and tipped his hat. "Until next year, old cowboy. Stay decent."

He let Sport gallop and had caught up with the herd quite quickly. With narrowed eyes, he noticed that Gus was talking to Joe again.

XXX

"Adam, ..."

Hoss had ridden to his brother's side and looked at him with concern. "How long do we need to get to the night camp? The cattle's getting rather nervous."

Adam turned up the collar of the rain cape, but couldn't prevent the rain running down his back. "We should reach it within the next hour, but the worst part is yet to come. We have to take them all through the small river."

"So why don't we just stay on this side till the weather calms down?"

For a short time, Adam leaned back to see if the men managed to keep the herd together despite the heavy rain. "You said yourself, the cattle's getting nervous. If a thunderstorm arrives tonight, we have all hands full to prevent a stampede. If we stay on this side, they have so much room to escape that it would take weeks to drive them back. On the other side, we have the valley from which they can't escape so easily."

"Then we still have some hard hours ahead."

"You see, Hoss. That's why I'm going to talk to Tico right away, how we get them all across the river the best and safest. Check on Little Joe. In any case, he should stay close to you or me."

He grabbed his brother's arm and looked at him urgently. "Hoss, try to tell him clearly that he shouldn't try any independent ideas right now."

"I do, Adam, and we both ..." Now Hoss looked at him seriously. "... will have a talk about your pain and your leaves."

In spite of the heavy rain, Hoss could see Adam rising his eyebrow in astonishment. "Big brother, if you go on like this, then Bridget will think Little Joe is standing in front of her, because you have only as much on your bones as he does."

He poked his finger against Adam's arm. "And I don't want to hear any excuses or other long explanations. Understood?"

Adam barely nodded and then went to Tico.

The rain was getting heavier, and so Hoss was also worried whether they would get the herd across the river. Joe had promised to stay with Gus all the time and listen to what he was told. He also seemed to notice that the next few hours would decide whether to finish the trail well or not. The weather had changed so quickly that they hadn't had time to look for another shelter for the cattle. So they had, as Adam had said, to go through the water. Because, as it turned out, a thunderstorm really arose.

The first animals had reached the river, and Hoss quickly joined Adam, who was driving the men, but still tried not to get into any hassle. But like Tico he kept looking anxiously skyward. "Hoss, good thing you're here. I want you to bring Joe over. Tico and I assume that we can't get the complete herd across the river before storm starts."

Hoss straightened up in the saddle, hoping to have a better overview. "Joe is with Gus. I'll see if I can grab him."

Hoss turned his horse as Adam stopped him. "Joe shouldn't spend so much time with Gus. Tico and I don't trust him. After the trail we want to release him."

"I'll take care of him, Adam."

Joe felt desperately cold. For hours it was raining, and not a spot on his body remained dry. He rode just behind Gus and tried to prevent the animals from running out of line. Hoss had just explained to him that, as soon as they had reached the river, they had to drive over the cattle right away. He should do exactly what he was told and not complain or discuss. Noone could be saved if falling into the river because of carelessness. It was too dark for that, and the flow grew stronger by the minute. Joe looked back at Gus. He found him more and more strange. He always tried to put Adam down to him. Not only what he'd told Joe about Riccardo, but also how bad Adam coped with the work on the ranch. That he liked to give orders, but he would hardly do anything. In the beginning, Joe had still believed that, because he had seen himself there were days when Adam was barely working at the ranch, and this just before the cattle drive. Gus had always claimed that Adam had the opinion that he owned the ranch. Yesterday, the cowboy wanted to tell him that Adam looked so bad, because he had no alcohol here, so he couldn't go every night in the saloon like he was used to at home. That was the moment when Joe began to doubt the cowboy's words. Yes, it was true, that it wasn't easy for Joe to get along with his big brother, but he knew one thing for sure, that Adam would never drink too much. For if there was one thing his brother didn't like, it was to loose control over his actions. Joe had noticed that very early.

Joe was just getting closer to Gus when one of the hired men approached the cowboy. The wind was so favorable that Joe could follow the conversation very well. At first he didn't care what they were talking about. But when he heard the scraps of conversation "... soon we're at the river, ... Cartwright's still on this side, and then he's yours ...", he listened more closely. Joe looked around frantically. Nothing was to be seen of Hoss and without further thought, he broke away from the herd and rode as fast as the ground allowed to the river to look for Adam.

"Joe, what the hell are you doing here? Where's Hoss, and why aren't you over there yet?"

Joe tried to keep his horse quiet. Now he was grateful to Adam for not allowing him to take Cochise with him. His pinto would be still too wild for such a night. "Adam, I need to talk to you!"

Joe had to yell at his brother so that Adam could understand him. Not only the wind had grown stronger, the roaring of the river and the mooing of the cattle was very loud. For the first time on the cattle drive Joe got a slight feeling of anxiety. "Damn, Joe, I have no time for you and your complaints."

Adam pulled Sport around and moved away from his brother, but Joe couldn't be shaken off. "Adam, wait ...!"

"JOE, GET OUT OF HERE!"

"NO!"

Immediately Adam was by his side and grabbed him by the collar of his raincape. "Get out of here, Joe! Go to the end of the herd! I wan... "

"Adam, ... Gus wants to frighten the cattle to cause a stampede! He wants to kill you!"

Adam tightened the grip on Joe's collar. "Joe, I don't have time for the horror stories of Gus and you!"

"This is …!"

At that moment a loud thunder struck. Not only the herd was terrified, but Sport also reared. Adam had all his hands full to calm his horse. Then he turned immediately to the herd, and shouted some commands at the men. He didn't look at Joe. He was still standing in the same place, watching with horror the image in front of his eyes. Again, Joe shrugged as it thundered again, but this time he also had the feeling that some shots had been fired. The cattle could hardly be controlled. The first animals ran off and others ran into the water. Within minutes hell had broken loose. The animals fled in all directions. There was shouting, and he could hear the screams of the men who couldn't get to safety in time. Joe looked around. Here, where he stood, he was, as it looked, quite safe, but he had to find Adam. This was precisely the situation Gus had been waiting for. Joe stood in the stirrups to see something. He wanted to sit down again when he noticed Gus. He knew where Gus was, Adam wouldn't be far. He rode along the shore, always with a view to the cattle. He knew from Hoss how quickly they could change direction all of a sudden and then trample down everything that was in their way. He had lost sight of Gus through the rain and all the dirt that was stirred up by the herd and had to look for a while. But then he saw Adam trying to pull the cart out of the water with two other men. As it looked, its horses had bolted and ran into the water. The cart was so slanted that it threatened to tip over. Again and again the horses reared with fear. Joe also knew how important the cart was. The horses could be sacrificed, but not the cart. So Joe jumped off his horse and looked around to see if he could trace Gus anywhere. He would definitely stay close to Adam, even if he yelled at him all the time. Joe ran into the water to the cart and Adam. His brother looked at him furiously. "You can yell as much as you want, Adam. I'll stay here and help you."

Adam grumbled, but then turned back to the two men. At last they had been able to unhook the horses from the cart. One of the horses, however, they couldn't calm down to lead it to the shore. It reared, tilted backwards and was then swept away by the flow. Adam grabbed Joe by the jacket. "Come along. We must try to stabilize the cart from the other side so that it won't be carried away."

He shouted to the other cowboy to get as many ropes as possible. Then he took the first ropes out of the cart and handed two of them to Joe. He leaned very close to his brother so that Joe could understand him. "Joe, we have to attach the ropes to the cart and then tie the ends to the trees on the shore! But Joe, when I say, let go, or you realize that the cart tilts completely, then get off as quickly as possible! Once it gets moving, you'd be swept away!"

"Understood, Adam! I'll do so!"

They fastened the ropes and then ran back to the shore. "Joe, before we tie the ropes, let's try to pull as hard as we can! Maybe we'll manage together to pull the cart up again."

Joe just nodded. If he had thought that he was already wet, he realized that there was still an increasement. Together with Adam he pulled firmly on the ropes before they tied them to the trees. They had just been busy with the last rope, when Adam suddenly lost his foothold and went to his knees. Joe was quite amazed, as the soil at this point wasn't quite as slippery as at other places. And it didn't look like his brother had slipped. Joe realized that it was something else, since Adam didn't get up again instantly. So he knelt behind his brother. "Adam, what happened? Are you hurt?"

Joe saw his brother clenching his hand to a fist and hit against his thigh. "It'll be all right, Joe! Just give me a minute!"

"Well, I think you can kneel down there for a bit longer. From there you can better beg for mercy."

With a jerk, Joe and Adam lifted their heads at the same time and looked at Gus, who was standing in front of them, the gun pointed at Adam. Adam straightened his upper body so that he completely covered Little Joe. "Do I get to know the reason before you shoot me? It can't have been due to the wages."

Gus leaned forward and hit Adam with his fist in the face. "Unfortunately, I've no time to beat your arrogance out of you. Your men are unfortunately so good that they won't need much longer to calm the cattle down, and then your daft brother will certainly look for you."

He went a few steps back and pointed the gun at Adam again. "You've got no idea who I am, and all the time I was afraid that you might recognize me."

Adam tilted his head and looked more closely at Gus, and very slowly it dawned on him. "Roger ...?"

"Oh, I see you can still remember."

Joe whispered softly. "Who's that, Adam?"

"That, Little Joe, is Roger. The older brother of Buck. He left school when I was eleven. After that I only saw him once in a while. As much as I know, he left the city not long after."

"That's it, Little Joe. Mitch met me last summer on a trail and told me everything that happened in the years before. Even if it wasn't your gun that killed him, Cartwright, you're the cause, and that's why I'll shoot you with pleasure."

Adam froze, but not because he realized exactly that Roger was serious, but because he sensed what Joe was doing behind him. Almost imperceptibly, he shook his head. "Roger, do you really mean ..."

"Shut up, Cartwright!"

Roger pulled the trigger. The bullet missed Adam by several yards. With a rather confused look, Roger fell aside. Before his head touched the ground, he was already dead. On his neck, Adam felt Joe's rapid breathing. "Give me my gun, Joe."

His eyes still focused on Roger, Joe handed the gun to his brother, who immediately put it back into his holster. "Adam, I'm sorry, ... but what ... I didn't know what else to do!"

Adam lowered his head. He, too, knew that he could never have drawn his gun in time. It was the only possible decision, that Joe had pulled the gun out of his holster. Roger had only concentrated on him. He raised his head. "Joe, you've done everything right. Thank you. Without you, I'd be dead, and I doubt if Roger might have spared you."

Slowly Joe got up behind him and stood in front of his brother. Adam smiled at him and reached out for his hand. "Would you help an old man get up?"

Joe crossed his arms and looked serious at him. "No. I won't."

Joe had to smile not only about Adam's astonished face. Then he reached for Adam's hand. "I help my brother. After all, you promised me once that you'd buy me my first beer in a saloon when I go on my first cattle drive."


	79. Chapter 79

Joe lay on the ground staring into the sky. He didn't care that he was lying in the wetness. He was wet to the bone anyhow. He was just glad that it was summer and he wasn't freezing, and that the sun finally showed up again after hours. With horror, he thought back to the last night. When he had pulled Adam to his feet, his brother hadn't taken care of the dead Roger, but had gone immediately to his horse. Joe was a bit surprised, but he followed him as quickly as he could.

Again and again they tried to round up the herd. But the thunderstorm grew stronger and the animals didn't calm down. In the end, their only results were to prevent the cattle from running back into the water. At some point, Adam had come to his side, and told him to look for some shelter and wait for daybreak. Joe hadn't even thought of questioning him. Not only that he was done, but that night he had very quickly realized that not everyone could call the shots here. In order to accomplish this chaos at least partly, one had to listen without ifs and buts to the instructions, when one lacked experience. Joe had understood. He wouldn't have survived this night just with his big mouth.

A shadow fell over his face. Joe turned his head and saw Hoss standing beside him. Immediately he sat up. "Morning, Shortshanks. How are you?"

Hoss held out his hand and pulled him up. "It's alright."

"You shouldn't be lying here on the wet ground. Use the time to let the sun dry you out."

He pointed with his hand to the sky behind them. "The next thunderstorm is already rising."

Frightened Joe opened his eyes and turned around. "Another one? Hoss, we just got the animals calmed down. If there's another storm, we will lose them again."

Hoss lowered his eyes briefly. "Joe, we've already lost the herd, and not just them ..."

Joe's mouth opened a little. "But ... we've rounded up some of the cattle again."

Hoss gently touched Joe's arm. "But there are too few. The rest have been lost in the water, or they have been hurt so badly we had to shoot them."

Still very much shaken, Hoss's little brother looked at the other side of the shore. "But there are still some animals over there. They were driven into the valley in time."

His brother just shook his head. "Joe, until now, none of the men who were already over there have been seen at the shore."

Joe needed a little time until he realized what Hoss meant by his words. He spoke very quietly. "You think they are dead?"

Hoss' answer was just a nod. "We will only know for sure when the flow of the river subsides, and we can go over again."

Joe's shoulders slumped. He was well aware of what it meant to lose a whole herd. "And what do we do with the rest of the animals?"

They both went to a small group of rocks on the shore and sat down in the sun. "We want to wait and see how heavy the next thunderstorm will be, but we will never drive the cattle to the market or take them home. The effort wouldn't be worth it. Joe, do you have any of the dried meat in your saddle bag?"

"Nope."

Joe looked at his hands because he knew what was about to come. "Little Joe, didn't I tell you, it's for a case of emergency?"

Joe slowly nodded. "I was so bored, I began to nibble on it, and before I knew it, I didn't have any more."

Hoss breathed heavily. Little by little he could understand Adam, when he said that he would have no more patience with Joe. "And how do you think you'll get through the next few days?"

"We still have the supply cart ..."

"No, we haven't, Little Joe. It was trampled by the cattle."

Hoss reached into his pocket and handed his brother a few pieces of dried meat. "Be careful with it, Joe. Because up to now, we don't have an exact plan. First we must see how many men we've lost, and whether we find a few somewhere who are still alive."

His eyes were focused on his hands, and Joe became more aware that a cattle drive wasn't child's play, as he had always thought. It had been clear to him that one had to stay in the saddle for a long time. But otherwise he always thought that they rode only with the cattle, selling them, and then having fun in the city. Because when the men had talked about the trail, they'd only talked about what they had done afterwards and on their way back home. He'd thought for years, Adam would simply exaggerate when he said that such a trail was hard work, but what he had experienced so far, he hadn't imagined in his wildest dreams. Much of what Adam had tried to teach him again and again, he had been able to use on the trail. He looked up. Or would still need ... Adam? His eyes went to his brother. "Hoss, where's Adam? I haven't seen him for hours."

Hoss smiled. He didn't know what had happened the night before between his two brothers, but as it looked, the relationship between the two was no longer as cold as before the storm. For Adam also spoke quite differently about his little brother. That he had been proud of him, because he could rely on Joe that night. "He ... he wanted to talk to Tico about how to go on now. Then he wanted to search the bank for the missing men and the cattle before the weather turns worse again, but I think ... "

Now Hoss looked briefly at his hands. "Hoss, what's going on?"

His brother looked at him again. "Rusty has disappeared. And since we've actually found almost all the men, and Adam knows that, I think he just said that, to not admit that he's worried about her."

Joe's eyes wandered along the shore and across the land. He also knew how much his brother was attached to the dog, even if he would never admit it so openly. "Hoss, ..."

Joe slapped his brother's arm. "Rusty was always at the supply wagon ..."

"He looked there first, but she wasn't there."

Joe lowered his eyes again, hoping Adam would find the dog quickly, for he couldn't look for her for a long time. "Now eat something, Joe, but share it, because we don't have much to eat."

"Will do, ... Hoss, ...?"

His brother was about to get up, but when he saw Joe's glance, he sat down again. " You told me, …. Adam, ... well, ... you said he won't die, but what about him?"

"I told you. It's just the lo ... "

"Hoss, no, ..."

Joe shook his head. "... I saw tonight, as he suddenly couldn't stand anymore ..."

For a long time Hoss looked at his brother. He felt that Joe was on the right track and had started to realize what it meant to work on a ranch. But he didn't want Joe to deal with Adam as well, just because he knew about his injuries and what they might mean to him in future.

"Joe, Adam's fine. Believe me! But yes, he has a little problem, but he should tell you about it, if he thinks he wants to. However, I assure you, you don't have to worry about him."

Not quite satisfied with the answer, Joe nodded. "Now you have a little rest."

"Hoss, couldn't I help Adam to look for Rusty till the next storm comes? I'll stay near the shore."

Hoss looked up into the sky. It would certainly take a good hour before the weather would change. "Alright, but please stay close by, and remember, as soon as the wind increases, you are on your way back. Understood?"

"Yes, Hoss."

"And don't go into the water, Joe, in no way. The current is too strong."

"I won't, Hoss. You can rely on me."

Hoss nodded, but sent at least twenty prayers to Heaven that Joe would really listen to him.

Carefully Joe led his horse along the shore. He had long given up trying to look for traces. The ground was too muddy to distinguish one track from another. Again and again he found a dead animal on the shore or in the water. Little by little the whole extent of the disaster of last night became visible. As he had picked up his horse, he could see how the first bodies were buried. If he had heard correctly, seventeen men that night had paid with their lives and five were still missing.

Hoss said that they were certainly friends of Gus, since he had suggested them for the trail. That's why his brother assumed that they had took on their heels in the night.

The wind picked up slightly, and in the distance Joe could hear the rumble of the storm. He was about to turn back as he saw Adam's horse standing ahead of him. So he let his horse trott again to see if Adam had found Rusty, and then ride back with him. Even when dismounting he looked around but couldn't see his brother anywhere. Then he tilted his head and wondered if it was the wind or the howling of a dog he heard. He followed the sound. He had to struggle through some bushes along the bank and almost slipped on the muddy ground. In fact he couldn't hear the sound anymore, because the noise of the water was too loud. Even here were some dead cattle on the shore. When the rain started, Joe hesitated about what to do. Hoss had told him as soon as the weather worsened to return immediately. What if Adam was already on his way back? Joe looked over his shoulder. By the noise of the water he wouldn't even hear Adam calling. But on the other hand, he was sure that he had heard a whining dog, and Adam had certainly heard that, too. And Joe knew one thing. The whine had come from the direction of the water. So he took a deep breath and climbed further over branches, undergrowth and animal carcasses. But then the blood froze in his veins. He had found Rusty! She was caught some distance from the shore in a tangle of branches and other rubbish. Due to the mud and the flow she was unable to free herself. But what had shocked him far more was that Adam lay half in the water and didn't move. If the flow became stronger, and the water would rise again, his brother would have no chance to escape. As fast as he could, Joe continued to climb on cautiously. It looked like Adam had tied a lariat to a tree to safely get to Rusty, but something must have happened that he couldn't go on. As soon as he reached his brother, he knelt beside him. He had to speak very loud, as in the night before.

"Adam, ...!"

His brother turned his head and looked at him with wide eyes. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you."

He looked down at Adam. "Are you hurt, Adam?"

He saw his brother closing his eyes for a moment. "No. I just need a minute, then it'll go again."

Joe's eyes fell on the end of the lariat. Adam apparently wanted to tie it around his belly to go to Rusty. Without another word, Joe grabbed the end and tied it around. "Joe, ... no ... put it down!"

Adam tried to get to his knees, but his leg was still numb. While Joe moored the lariat, he grinned at his brother. "Why, Adam? You don't want to tell me it's wrong to get Rusty out there? That was your intention, and you would never do something rash, would you?"

"Joe, ...!"

With anger Adam pounded his fist on the ground, then turned over on his back, to see how his brother got along with the flow. Again and again Joe had to persist, because he was in danger of loosing his grip. With every step that he approached the dog, he spoke louder with her, trying to calm her. "Stay calm, Rusty. I'll get you out of there, but you mustn't be so fidgety. Stay still or you'll be swept away."

Little by little Joe removed all the rubbish. Then he again gained a firm stand, grabbed the dog and pulled it out. "Rusty, stay still on my arm. Not only are you pretty heavy, but now I'm hardly able to stand on my feet."

After less than five steps, he lost his footing and couldn't react quickly enough as he ended up lying in the water. Desperately, he tried not only to keep Rusty but also to get back on his feet somehow. Suddenly he felt a jerk on the rope. He looked over his shoulder and saw Adam sitting on the bank and pulling the lariat. "Look, Rusty, even your master wants to have you back. The one who would never openly admit how much he loves you."

He pulled the dog closer, trying to help his brother to pull them both ashore. Totally exhausted, Adam and Joe lay on the shore. Once Adam's little brother felt firm ground under his feet, he had already let go off Rusty. She had then shaken herself beside him. Then she had gone to Adam, who immediately put his arms around the neck of the dog and held her close. Now all three lay silent for a few minutes at the edge of the river. "Joe, we must go back before the water rises again, and the rain gets worse."

Joe grinned. "Big brother, I don't think I can get any wetter than I am now anyway."

He turned his head to the side to see Adam. "Are you all right, Adam?"

"Thank you Joe, for helping me for the second time in a short time."

Joe stood up and held out his hand to Adam. "I had to get Rusty out, otherwise you would have just moaned at me the next few days."

Just a slight smile was to be seen from Adam, as he got pulled up by Joe. But immediately he supported himself with one hand on a nearby tree. He had some feeling in his leg, but not enough that he could shift his whole weight on it. Skeptically Joe looked at him, but before he could say anything, Adam hit him on the back. "Come on, we must get back to the others."

He pushed off the tree and went off. Since the ground was very uneven, it was barely noticable that he was still limping a bit. Slowly, Joe and Rusty followed him. "We can take the path through the small forest. Then we don't have to work our way along the shore and maybe risk a fall into the water."

The rain grew stronger, but the trees in the forest couldn't stop him. Joe was beginning to wonder if he would ever wear dry clothes again. "Adam, ... Hoss said we lost the cattle. Is that true?"

His brother didn't answer at once. "Yeah Joe, that's true. With the few animals we don't need to go to the market, and to drive them back again wouldn't be worth it."

"And what are we going to do with them now? We can't just leave them behind."

Worried, Adam noticed that Rusty was running slower. "There's a small town nearby. If we know how it looks on the other side of the river, and how many animals have survived, Tico and I will ride there and try to sell the rest, or give it to those who don't have enough food."

Joe snorted loudly. "What will Pa say?"

Adam laughed bitterly because he knew exactly what his father would say to him, but he wouldn't tell Joe. "He won't be pleased, of course, but eventually he will understand."

They reached the horses. Adam took the reins of Sport, but he needed two attempts to get into the saddle. "Joe, can you give me Rusty?"

Joe looked at the dog, who had laid down on the ground and looked at them with small eyes. Joe was about to raise Rusty just as Adam grabbed his saddle bag, took out a bag, and put some of its contents in his mouth. Slightly puzzled handed Joe his brother the dog. What his brother had in his mouth didn't look like dried meat. Adam laid Rusty over his legs, and Joe climbed onto his horse. "Adam, what's the matter with you?"

Only his eyes wandered to Joe. "What do you mean, Joe?"

Slowly they rode side by side to the others in their provisional camp. Even if the thunderstorm came nearer, Adam didn't want to ride faster. Not only because of his pain, but also because of the dog. He hoped that it wasn't seriously hurt, but was only exhausted by the events of the night.

"Why couldn't you get up at night? And at the river you didn't just lie in the mud on purpose."

Joe would have liked to see his brother's face. Even if it was always very difficult for him to read what Adam was thinking, he could see it in his eyes now and then. "It's nothing bad, Joe. Only now and then I'm struggling with my leg that I broke last year. But it's getting better every day."

That his brother didn't tell him everything, Joe could see as Adam's cheekbone was twitching slightly. Even though he rarely understood Adam and his actions, he had often seen that when Adam was concerned, he gritted his teeth. "Is that why you absolutely want me to work on the ranch as soon as possible?"

For the first time, Adam looked at him. "Joe, this has nothing to do with it. I just wanted to prepare you for what awaits you when your time at school is over. And everyone who lives on the ranch helps wherever he can, that's actually self-evident in my opinion."

"I ..." Joe slumped in the saddle. "... Adam, I want to work at the ranch, but ... I'm not Riccardo or you. It seems, it's not so easy for me as for you."

"Joe, do you really think I could do it all from the very start? I, too, had to learn all this. But unlike you, I didn't have that much time. Pa and I had arrived here and started working immediately, but I always feel like you have no interest in the Ponderosa at all."

Joe still looked at his hands. "Well, somewhat. But it's not my dream like Pa's."

Then he straightened up again and looked at Adam. "How you do that? You always said it isn't your dream, but you still work from sunup till sundown for the ranch and do nothing else."

"Yes, you're right, it's Pa's dream. But my dream is to keep his alive. Even if I love working on the ranch, you know I still have the company with Frederic."

He paused. "Joe, I don't expect from you that it's your dream, too. But what I'm expecting is that you give your full attention on the job, carrying out the tasks you're given, and accepting that you're told what to do."

"But you never have patience with me."

Joe slid back and forth in his saddle as he saw Adam breathing deeply. "I've been patient with you for years, Joe. You're just looking again for someone else to blame. You feel just too comfortable to work a little harder. If you don't manage something right away, you're giving up with some inappropriate reaction. This is something I do not accept or tolerate. Joe, you saw tonight how important it is that we can rely on each other, and despite the experience of the cowboys, we've lost some of them."

Adam touched Joe's arm and they both stopped. "Joe, you're a Cartwright, and when you work on the ranch, the men expect you to know what you're doing. Even if you never want to take over business, you have to take responsibility from time to time. How do you want to do that when you're not ready to learn? None of the cowboys will ever take you seriously if you don't change your behavior. You still have a period of grace with them because you're just going to leave school, but in a few years they'll laugh at you, and Joe, ..."

Adam's gaze grew even more serious. "... with the name Cartwright you carry an even heavier burden on your shoulder. There will always be guys such as Roger. Although he wanted to take revenge on me, there are enough people who will always be trying to destroy Pa's dream. So be careful with whom you're going to drink a beer. Pay attention to how you behave in town. For now there are no more letters to home, if you don't. Now the Sheriff will take care of it. And believe me, just because Tom is my friend, you won't get away with the crap you might be up to."

"I'll try, Adam, but ..."

"Joe, stop trying to find excuses all the time! There is no "but" any longer. You're seventeen now, and if you want to drink a beer in a saloon, then go and act like a man."

Joe said nothing more, but nodded and Adam didn't say anymore. Even if they had gotten closer during the last days, Little Joe was aware of one thing. If he didn't change, the next argument with Adam wouldn't be a long time coming.

XXX

Little Joe sighed with relief. In a few minutes they would be home again. He was sure that he would never forget his first cattle drive. As Hoss had guessed, the men had been dead on the other side of the river. Two of them they hadn't found, despite a long search. After four days they had driven the few cattle that had survived to the next town.

They were able to sell some, the rest Adam had left to two farmers, who had also lost a large part of their animals during the storm. Before, Adam had already sent Hoss home, so he could be back in time at Koko for the birth of his second child. He paid the wages to the men and said they should be back by next Monday. Adam hadn't visited a saloon with him, even though they had stayed in two towns on their way back, and Joe hadn't dared to ask for it.

The closer they came to the Ponderosa, the more silent his brother fell. In the end, at the camp fire Joe had only talked to Rusty, who had always rolled up quickly and fell asleep. The last yards up to the ranch Joe let his horse gallop again, but quite soon he realized that Adam followed him at a normal pace. He just shrugged his shoulders and with a wide grin he jumped out of the saddle.

"Pa, ...! Ma, ...!"

"Joe, ..!"

Emillia came out of the kitchen door and ran joyfully to Joe and took him in her arms. She saw how Adam came riding up slowly. She didn't need to ask if something had happened. Even his whole posture said everything. Then she calmed down again. Both boys were back safe, and Hoss had arrived a few days ago. But now she knew why he had answered almost no questions about the trail. She looked lovingly at Joe and then went to Adam and took him briefly in her arms. "Good to have you back."

"Ma, you cannot imagine what we've experienced. There was …."

"JOE ...!"

Adam lowered his voice again. "... Joe, please go to take care of your horse first. It has just left some exhausting weeks behind."

Joe stood between Emillia and Adam quite reluctantly. "Joe, do what Adam tells you. You can tell me about it afterwards."

Sighing, Joe took the reins and went to the barn.

"That bad, Adam?"

He nodded slightly. "Is Pa at home?"

"Yes. He just wanted to put on a clean shirt, but I'm sure he already heard you."

"Could you keep Joe busy? I don't think it will take long, and Emillia, ... "

He took her hand. "... I'll come back tomorrow, and then talk to him calmly, but today I only want to go home."

Emillia raised her eyebrows. When Adam already knew that the conversation would get out of hand, it really had to be bad. She squeezed his hand and nodded to him. Adam took a deep breath and went into the house. He hadn't even taken his hat off as his father came down the stairs with a huge smile. "Adam, I had expected you next week. Then you got along well?"

He took him briefly in his arms and hit him against the upper arm. "Have you already heard? You once again became uncle and again it's a boy."

"No, I haven't yet. I'm happy for Hoss."

Ben stared and looked at his son more closely. Then he became pale. "Did something happen to Joseph?"

Adam scratched his forehead with his thumb. "No, he's fine. He's just taking care of his horse."

Ben tilted his head. "What happened, Adam? Did you get robbed of the money from selling the cattle?"

Adam took a deep breath. "We have lost several men and the cattle in a storm."

First Ben just looked at him. No sound escaped his lips. When he spoke again, his voice was very quiet, but sharp as a knife. "How could that happen?"

Adam raised his arms briefly, then dropped them. "As I've already said, there was a storm and ..."

Although he expected his father to react like this, he shrank at the volume. "How can you lose a complete herd? The storm didn't appear suddenly! Did you try to get your own way again thinking you could resist the weather?"

He tried to remain calm with his hand before his eyes. "Pa, I'll be back tomorrow after breakfast to talk to you about everything."

He turned around, took his hat and walked out the door. Ben looked at his son with wide eyes. Then he ran after him. "ADAM, ... WE TALK NOW!"

With the reins in his hand, Adam glanced over his shoulder to his father. "No, Pa. I'm going to ride home to my family, and then, as I said, I will come by tomorrow morning to talk to you about everything calmly."

"ADAM, ...!"

Ben was standing next to Adam's horse. "How dare you to just go right now? We're not talking about a trifle thing, but about the loss of a herd and about several thousand dollars."

"The cattle and the money won't be back tomorrow."

Adam mounted his horse without looking at Ben again. He only heard his name being shouted. Adam didn't even notice Joe standing at the barn door, open-mouthed.

XX

Even from a distance he saw Aiyana lying on the ground and looking focused at something. He was surprised at who was next to her. He was glad that his daughter had found a friend in school, but that it was - as it looked – Tyler of all people, surprised him nevertheless. Beside the two, Chesmu and Sophie squatted and looked eagerly to the ground, too. The four didn't notice him until he was almost beside them. With an amused look he got off his horse. "Aydo, ..."

Sophie jumped up and flung her arms around his neck. The other children also came running to him when they had noticed him. He crouched down to greet all warmly. When Chesmu flung his arms around his neck, he had a momentum that Adam had to take care that he didn't tip over. "Have missed you!"

"I missed you all."

He kept Chesmu on his arm as he rose, then looked to Tyler. "Tyler, nice to see you here."

Nervously the boy rubbed his hands on his pants. He was still very uncomfortable when he thought of the first months of the school year, and how he had treated Aiyana and the others. "Good afternoon, Mr. Cartwright."

Unsure Tyler looked at him. He didn't know whether Aiyana's father would allow him to spend so much time here. His father allowed him to do so, only on the condition that he would never play at his home with Aiyana. "What are you playing?"

Sophie took him by the hand and pulled him a few yards on. "Tyler has won all of Chesmu's marbles. Now Aiyana tries to win them back."

"She's trying."

Tyler stood next to Adam's daughter with his arms crossed and grinned at her. She, however, put her hands akimbo and laid her head slightly obliquely. "You can say goodbye to yours already."

With a smile, Adam left Chesmu and took the reins back into his hand. "I wish you a lot of fun and Aiyana, ..."

He went past her and put his hand on her shoulder. "... think of the family honor."

She proudly raised her head. "I will win and return successfully with my booty."

Shaking his head, but laughing, Adam led Sport into the barn.

"You have to do better."

"You have to do it better."

"I said so."

Amused, Adam looked up to the hayloft. He led Sport into the stall and stood at the ladder. "But you're not going to start fighting up there?"I

mmediately two heads came looking down. "Uncle Adam, ..."

".. Seño .. uhm .. dad ..."

Adam climbed up the ladder to the boys. He hadn't sat down properly, as Riccardo was already in his arms. "Hello, Bernardo."

Bernardo sat next to Adam, not knowing how to welcome him. So he just said "Hello". Adam smiled at him and touched him on the arm. "What are you doing up here?"

"I'm building a new bow. Look."

He handed his uncle a bow that was slightly larger than the old one. "It looks fine."

Carefully, he stroked the wood. "Here you still have to work on it, to make it smoother."

"I told you."

Bernardo looked at his friend. "And I've only improved your sentence."

"Did I say wrong?"

Riccardo shook his head. "Bernardo has practiced every day during the holidays with Aunt Bridget. He hardly makes mistakes when writing, only now and then when speaking."

Bernardo looked shyly down as Adam looked at him. "I'm glad, Bernardo, and I'm also pleased that you have settled in apparently so well with us."

"Are also all ..."

He paused briefly. "They're nice to me, too."

Adam smiled at him and took a ship that wasn't yet finished. "Did you build that, Bernardo?"

"Sí, Señor. When it's finished, I'd like to give it down at the creek into the water."

"Launch, Bernardo."

The boy looked confused at Riccardo. "Why should I …. launch it?"

Riccardo rolled his eyes. "Riccardo thinks you should launch it into the water and not give it."

"Oh, was again wrong word."

Adam looked at the ship. "This looks very good. I don't think it will sink."

He handed the ship to Bernardo. "Where did you leave Winona?"

Riccardo took the bow and moaned softly. "She's only hanging over her books with plants and herbs. Since she spent the weekend with the shaman, there's hardly anything else for her."

With a smile, he stroked his nephew's hair. As it looked, someone lost his girlfriend. "Would you care for Sport?"

"Of course, Uncle Adam, and he also gets an extra portion of hay."

"Thank you guys. Bernardo, where is your ... "

Now Adam hesitated because he didn't know how the boy would react if he was to say mother. He thought about how he felt when Marie suddenly became his mother. "Ma is in the garden with mother of Riccardo."

They both looked at each other for a long time. Then Adam thanked him and climbed down the ladder. "For goodness sake, Bernardo, she's your aunt, Aunt Giovanna."

"I not always remember everything. Your family just too big."

"Is."

"Ease?"

Adam was just glad to be back home. He walked around the house. Shortly he stopped at the corner and leaned against the wall. Satisfied, he looked into the garden. Winona lay on a blanket and was fully engrossed in a book. Beside her, Emilie was sleeping. Fabio and Travis were playing in the water at the small spring. With them sat Giovanna and Bridget talking. With a grin, Adam remembered Koko's words, which she had told him not so long ago. Namely, that he would have reached all his goals with his thirties. He had already reached them at twenty-eight. He didn't want anything else. He had wonderful children, a woman he loved more than anything else, and his own house. Even if it was a bit bigger than it really should be.

He pushed off the wall and went to the blanket. He hadn't quite reached her, when his sister raised her head and the joy of seeing him was reflected in her face. However, before she was crying out loud, he quickly put his finger to his lips and pointed to Emilie. So she let everything lie and ran towards him. He took her in his arms and turned with her. "At last you are back."

She hugged him tightly. "Sunshine, is everything fine?"

She clutched his neck so tightly that it was a bit uncomfortable. He took a deep breath and pushed her gently away. "Pa?"

She just nodded. "But, ... I ... I'm, of course, to blame myself. I talk too much about plants at home."

He pulled her back. "Then you come to us and tell Bridget and me what you've learned about the plants and herbs. But I think Ma will always listen to you."

Gently he patted her back. "In any case, in the next few days, I would like to hear what you've learned from the shaman."

"Please, don't go away so often for so long."

Slowly he let her down and knelt down. With a smile, he stroked some hair from her face. "Sunshine, you know very well that I have to travel every now and then, but there are still plenty of others who listen to you exactly as I do."

She lowered her eyes for a moment. "Not even Riccardo listens to me."

He took her hands. "He too will listen to you again. I'm sure, and now smile again. I am back and till school starts, the two of us will do something special, if it's just a night on the mountain."

She hugged him again and then ran with Adam by the hand to the blanket. Slowly he went into a crouch and stroked his daughter tenderly. "She just fell asleep."

"Don't worry, Winona. I'll let her sleep."

With one last loving look at his daughter, he then turned to the creek and with a wide grin, he stood up. Bridget had noticed him, and was already running toward him with a smile. He raised her slightly as he took her in his arms and kissed her. She put her hands on his cheeks, and they looked long into each others eyes. Then she slipped her hands down his arms and began to laugh. "Adam, you look terrible."

He just grinned. "You mean I need a bath?"

"Not only that. A shave and a haircut could also help."

"Will you take me anyway?"

She looked at him intently. Then she turned to Giovanna, with a grin in her eyes. "I think I'll help you to make a fire in the oven for your bath."

He took her by the hand and with a little smile he went with her into the house.

When she was later lying on the bed in his arms, she looked at him worried. "You don't just look so done because of the exhausting weeks?"

He gently stroked her hair, looking at the ceiling. "We lost the entire herd and some of our best men."

Horrified, she turned to him and put her arms on his chest. "My goodness, Adam. What happened? What about Little Joe?"

"We had quite a storm. Also many farmers and ranchers in the vicinity have lost their cattle. There were three quite hard days and nights, but Joe's back home well."

She laid her head on his chest, and with her hand she ran through his hair. "Have you been to your father?"

"Only briefly, but that had been enough. I just wanted to see you. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

She straightened up again and looked into his eyes. "Then I'll go back to Giovanna and listen to her little comments on what I've been doing for so long. Even your little princess will wake up soon."

She gave him a kiss, and he immediately turned her on her back, grinning cheekily. "Then you can be ten minutes later, if she knows anyhow what we've just done."

Bridget blushed and tried to push him away. "Adam, you are impossible. I'm glad that so far none of the kids burst int... "

He didn't let her talk any further, but gave her a long, passionate kiss. Adam lay on the bed and watched Bridget as she dressed again. "Do you have a special wish, what you would like to have for supper tonight?"

Only a smile was on his lips.

"Adam, ...!"

Then his face became serious again. "Just something small. I'm ... not so hungry."

Bridget paused, looking serious. "Should I check the bag with the leaves, you took? Because, the way you look, you haven't eaten properly the last few weeks. And I was wondering why you look so emaciated this time."

His cheekbones twitched briefly, then his face relaxed again. "I took the last yesterday, and now I don't need them here at home, because you can rub my back again. The next few weeks will certainly be a bit more quiet."

He crossed his arms behind his head. " So I could say, you've been doing well in the past few weeks?"

She looked down at herself, as she understood his words, looking at him with anger and then with a small grin. "You're the only one to blame for it."

"Oh?" 

She looked in the mirror to straighten her hair. "If you hadn't behaved so badly, I wouldn't have punished you at school. Now you have to live with the consequences."

Slowly he pulled his arms from behind his head and straightened. When she turned to him, he knew he hadn't misunderstood her. So he got up, took her hand and pulled her close. "Then my little princess gets a brother?"

She shook her head, but also had to smile when she saw the glint in his eyes. "Maybe she'll get a sister."

"No. It'll be a boy."

"And if I want another girl?"

He shook his head. She gave him a kiss and broke away from his embrace. "I say it'll be a girl, and if I'm right, you must promise me that we will both go on a trip on our fifth wedding anniversary."

"And if it's a boy, what do I get?"

"Since it's not a boy, I can fulfill your wish."

She breathed deeply. "Then I will spend a weekend with you in the village in a tipi. And now, my dear husband, ..."

She pushed him against the chest. "... you will take a bath and turn back into a man."

She opened the bedroom door and turned around again. They didn't need to say how much they loved each other. The looks they exchanged already expressed all this love.

XXXX

Adam tied Sport with a deep sigh. He guessed what was going to happen. He had little hope that it wouldn't be so bad. Hoss had promised yesterday, when he had picked up Travis, that he would be here today to soothe their father. Although Adam still couldn't eat a lot and couldn't drink alcohol, they had spent some nice hours with Bridget. He was relieved when Hoss told him that he was still home on time for the birth of his son, and that Koko and the baby were well. So he had intended to visit little Nick and Koko in the afternoon, unless he wasn't too much in rage after talking to his father. Because he didn't want to upset Koko.

He straightened his back and opened the door. Hoss sat on the settee and Joe just came out of the kitchen. Slowly he took off his hat and looked to his father, who was sitting in the armchair and just as slowly put his cup on the table.

"Good Morning …."

Adam looked at his brothers and then his eyes returned to his father. "... Pa .."

"Since your brothers don't want to tell me much, it would be nice if I finally get to know what happened exactly, or do you want to run away again?"

Adam sat down on the settee and tried to stay calm. "I didn't run away. But I think yesterday we both couldn't have lead a reasonable conversation."

His father gave him no answer. He just looked at him darkly. Adam looked once more at Hoss, who gave him an encouraging nod. Then Adam told what happened. Then he slapped his thighs with his hands. "We had no chance against the weather, Pa."

It took an eternity for Ben to speak to him. "Do you know what this means for the Ponderosa?"

Briefly, Adam put his hand to his eyes. "Yes, it's a big loss, but it doesn't mean we have to sell the ranch, and we're going to get over the winter without problems. I don't think we'll have any trouble with the timber supplies."

Adam slipped back on the armrest as his father quickly rose out of the chair and stood before him. "Adam, you cannot sugarcoat this incident. You blew the trail to hell. But for you, it's not so bad. It's not your money, and not your cattle we're talking about."

When Adam rose slowly, only his cheekbones twitched. "May I remind you that for YOUR cattle and YOUR money several good men have lost their lives? And I'm not sugarcoating anything."

For a long time Ben glared at his son, with his hands akimbo. Then he went to the office and took some papers and held them in the air. "Can you tell me who's paying all these bills? YOU or ME?"

"Pa, ... Adam, .."

Hoss had stood up and stood between his brother and his father. "Hoss, you don't need to stand by your brother. He was responsible for the trail, and therefore he must live with the consequences. "

"Do you think, I don't?"

Adam went around Hoss and stood in front of his father and took the bills out of his hand. "Then I will pay YOUR bills so that you aren't on the breadline."

Carefully Hoss put his hand on Adam's shoulder. He almost whispered. "Adam, ..."

Adam shook Hoss' hand off with a quick movement. "You can also come to dinner every evening, if need be."

"YOU NEED NOT TO BE SARCASTIC, ADAM ...!"

He tore the bills again out of Adam's hand. "I will very well be able to feed my family! But I've known it all the time! Not only was Tico too young for the job of the foreman, but you simply lack the experience to lead such a trail. So the whole thing could only go wrong once the weather got a little worse."

Hoss' eyes grew huge, and he held his breath. Adam didn't yell. His voice wasn't disappointed either, and that was what worried Hoss. The voice of his brother was without emotion. "Then I think it's better if you look for someone else for your next trail."

Father and son looked at each other. Then Adam turned and took his hat. "That's exactly what I expected from you, Adam. If there are problems, you take flight and don't face your mistakes."

"Pa, ..."

Hoss wanted to grab his father when he wanted to run after Adam. Adam stopped at the door and turned back to his father.

"I DON'T FACE MY MISTAKES? THEN I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU THAT I'M FACING MY MISTAKES! I'M NOT WORKING ON YOUR PONDEROSA ANY LONGER!"

Ben ran after his son. "ADAM, ...!"

Adam swung into the saddle and left the ranch. Hoss looked from his father to Little Joe, who looked at him with a rather pale face.

XXX

Three days had passed since the dispute with his father. All attempts of the entire family that the two should talk it over again hadn't helped. So in the last few days, Adam had been more concerned about the project of his company. He was sitting on the plans for the line tracks when he heard someone enter the room. He raised his head and saw Bernardo standing in the doorway. "May I come in?"

Adam leaned back in his chair. "Of course. Come in."

Bernardo came slowly into the room and stood in front of the desk. "I have made ..."

He shook his head. "... I have done all my work. Can I ... go to Riccardo ... now?"

Adam tried not to smile too much about how Bernardo tried carefully to speak properly. "Of course you can go to him. But remember to be back on time for dinner."

"Thank you, Señor A ... ... dad."

Bernardo was about to leave when Adam stopped him. "Bernardo, please wait a moment."

Adam got up and went around the table to the boy. "Bernardo, would you answer me a question?"

"Sí."

"I know how hard it is to get used to a new family and to lose his mother at ten years isn't easy. But I've gotten the impression that it isn't difficult for you to say Ma to Bridget, and that you accept her as your new mother can't be overlooked. ... But why do we both have some problems with each other?"

Bernardo lowered his gaze before answering. "Because you not want me."

Adam took a deep breath. "I thought you understood me when I told you why I was so reluctant at the beginning."

"Sí, .. I did, but ..."

He looked at Adam again. "... but you be not to me as to the others. You not take me in arm or laugh with me, and you be my first father. Never had one."

Now the boy didn't look away, but was waiting for Adam's reaction, who put his hand over his mouth and thought about his next words. "I don't know if Bridget told you that I too lost my mother, and not just one, but it happened to me three times. I just couldn't say Mum to a new mother. It was very difficult for me, though I liked her."

He put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "What I'm trying to say, Bernardo, is, that I thought you wouldn't like me taking you in my arms and fooling around with you as much as with the others. I didn't want to force you to like me as a father. If you only look at me as your friend, I would accept that as well. The feelings I have for you wouldn't change."

"But I want say Dad, and not Señor Adam, but ..."

He shrugged, not knowing exactly what to say. Now Adam put his arm on the boy's shoulder and smiled at him. "Bernardo, I would say we both start slowly. You'd like to have a father, and I'm glad I got such a great, sensible son. Everything else comes by itself. We both just have to dare to get aquainted to each other."

Bernardo nodded. "Now enjoy the afternoon, and if you'd still like to say Señor Adam, then that's all right."

"Gracias."

"You can go out back here, you don't have to go around the house again."

He thanked him and wanted to walk out the door to the garden as he stopped in front of the easel and looked at the drawings. Adam came to his side as he looked at him questioningly. "That …. is .. not a house."

"No. Riccardo's father and I want to build a railway line connecting three cities and we have to go through some mountains."

He pointed to one of the drawings. "And this is the first draft, as we may be able to work our way through the mountain."

"And that?"

Bernardo pointed to another drawing. "This is the design for a new building in Carson City. If Nevada becomes an independent state, the political decisions are to be taken there. That's why the city wants to see a draft for a government building."

The boy looked at him. "Do you ... have to build a .. model?"

"Yes, I will do that again."

"Can I help?"

Excited, he looked at Adam and was happy when he nodded. They both looked at each other and smiled.


	80. Chapter 80

Ben sat at his desk, but he couldn't really concentrate on the work. For almost a week he hadn't spoken to Adam, let alone seen him. It didn't burden just him, but the whole family. The children would sneak through the house, and the conversations at the table were limited to the absolutely necessary. Today after breakfast, Emillia had told him very clearly that if he wasn't able to act like a grown up and go to Adam, she would move with the children to the farm of Koko and Hoss and only return when the mood at the Ponderosa had changed. But Ben's eyes fell back on all those bills and he realized that his son had to take the first step and not him. In his eyes Adam was responsible for the trail running so badly. Instead of admitting it, his son now tried to blame him. Ben noticed how he got angry again, and not just at Adam, but also at his wife. After all, Emillia was the one who had persuaded him to leave more responsibility to Adam, but now everyone could clearly see where it had led.

"Pa?"

Ben looked up and wondered how long Joe had already been standing at his desk. Normally he could never sneak so smoothly from one place to another. "What can I do for you, Little Joe?"

Joe's shoulders sagged down. "Oh, nothing, Pa."

Joe was about to turn away. "Joseph, what did you want?"

Little Joe turned back to the desk and stroked the table with his fingers. "Pa, ... I ... well, ..."

Joe took another breath. "... well, ... why are you so angry with Adam that you don't want to talk to him anymore?"

Slowly, Ben leaned back in his chair, without interrupting eye contact with his youngest son. "I don't think you would understand, Joseph."

Little Joe could no longer keep the eye contact with his father, and so he looked down. "I don't think Adam did anything wrong."

Since Joe didn't look at his father, he didn't see his eyes widen. When Ben answered, he tried to remain as calm as possible. "You don't even know what we were talking about. So you cannot judge. Just because you've been on your first cattle drive, it doesn't mean that you understand the business of the Ponderosa all of a sudden."

Joe's breathing accelerated because he had become so nervous. He had never contradicted his father in all these years, but this time it had to be, because he was firmly convinced that it had been a mistake of his father to yell at Adam. "Pa, you weren't there. Adam tried everything he could to save the cattle."

"It honors you that you want to help your brother, but I am firmly convinced that if Adam had had more experience, we wouldn't have lost all the cattle. Tico and he just didn't realize in time what to do when the weather gets so bad."

Carefully Joe raised his head again to look at his father. "The weather had worsened so rapidly that we had no chance. Pa, ... Adam had been trying to get the cattle across the river, but it was just too late. We had all day sunshine and not a cloud was in the sky. None of us could have expected to have such a mess only two hours later."

Ben shook his head. "I'm sure if George was still alive, or if I had been there, we wouldn't have lost the cattle. I think that we can finish the subject now, Joseph."

Shortly Joe lowered his head, but then he looked at his father resolutely. "Pa, how can you say Adam has no experience? He told me he had been working here on the ranch from day one to make it with you, what it is now. So he has built it together with you. In my eyes the Ponderosa is as much his as it is yours."

Joe's mouth went dry. He noticed how he started sweating. Certainly his father would reprimand him because he had dared to talk to him this way. When after some time his father had still said nothing, Joe shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He didn't know how to stand. "Joseph, it's more than working together on the ranch. For me, it's self-evident that my children are taking part in the ranch work. That doesn't mean, however, that it belongs to you already."

Joe hung his head and spoke very softly. "Well, I don't see it that way."

"What?"

Ben leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. Joe's head lifted just a little. Only so that his father's eyes and his met. "I said I see that differently. Adam has always been working more on the Ponderosa than Hoss or I. Even if he always says that the Ponderosa is your dream, he lives it the same as you, and he told me on the trail that his dream is to keep yours alive. For him the Ponderosa is just as important as for you. He would give his life for it. That's why I can't understand that you've yelled at Adam like that, and always tell him it's your ranch."

Joe would have liked to turn and quickly leave the house, as his father looked at him darkly. "As I assume that you haven't done your work for today, you can go now. Because it's better to end the conversation now."

With an embarrassed swallow, Joe nodded. "Yes, Sir."

Joe made a mental note not to come home except for supper. He wouldn't try to face his father alone today. On the way out Joe quietly closed the door behind him. He didn't want to give his father any reason to shout at him.

Angry Ben threw the pen, he was holding, on the table. Now, also Little Joe turned against him. Not only did he have to listen to some remarks of Emillia all the time. Even Hoss had already tried to talk to him, and that Sarah stood by her brother, was without question. His daughter, since she knew of the dispute, spoke hardly more than was necessary with him.

He leaned back and closed his eyes to calm himself. Then he heard the laughter of Sophie and Sarah outside. All of a sudden, pictures appeared before his eyes when Hoss and Joe were playing outside the door, and he chuckled slightly. But shortly afterwards, he slumped his head, and he tried to remember when he'd seen Adam playing in front of the door when he was a kid. Then he laughed briefly. He could not. Whenever he hadn't needed Adam, he had been on the farm with Koko. Ben got up, went to the window and looked outside. With his hands in his pockets he looked at his two daughters. It was a rare picture that he saw them playing together. Most of the time, Sarah was at Adam's to play with the other children, although she was more concerned with her herbs and plants lately. His eyes were focused on Sarah. The more he watched her, the more she reminded him of Adam. She, too, was sometimes very silent and reflective about things much the way her brother had been then. The difference to Adam was that she couldn't always hold back her feelings being the reason for so many disputes between them. His memories mingled with the image before him. Ben had no idea how long he was standing at the window, thinking, but when he returned to the here and now, he knew what his next steps should be. He turned to the desk and cleared away the things he'd been working on.

XX

Adam went to the kitchen to make a fresh coffee. He rubbed his eyes with his hand. All morning he had been concerned with how they could best work through the mountain. He also thought about how he could solve the problem of thermics in the tunnel later.

With the pot in his hand, he stopped at the kitchen door. Sighing softly, he placed the pot on the table. Then he put his arms around Bridget, who stood with her back to him and looked out the window. "Usually I'm always the more thoughtful of us both."

She leaned against him and put her hands on his. "I'm trying to find a way for you to talk to your father again."

Adam wanted to pull his hands away, but she held them tight. "Adam, we cannot simply act as if there hadn't been this quarrel between you two. We are all affected by it."

Over her head, he looked at the mountains. With his thumb, he gently stroked her belly. Even when Bridget was pregnant with Emilie, he had been struggling with his father, but, unlike this time, they could settle it one day later. "Bridget, what do you expect from me? I cannot go to him and say he's right. My father must finally trust me and realize that cooperation looks different. He can't say I'm his partner on the ranch, but as soon as something goes wrong, blame me for destroying HIS ranch."

"Then you should talk to him about it."He pulled her closer as he exhaled deeply. "If it were that easy."

"Of course, it's simple. You just have to go up there and do it."

He spoke very quietly. "But what if he's right about it?"

"About what? That you lost the cattle because you lacked the experience?"

She held his hands slightly tighter when she could feel his heart beat faster. "I think all the time whether I could have done anything else to prevent it. At what point I had to make another decision, but then ... I tell myself again that nothing else could have happened. Everything that happens happens for a certain reason. There is no - what might have been different -. "

Her voice was now very quiet. "Your two worlds."

He nodded slightly. "Do I make it easy for myself and blandish myself when I explain the loss of the animals and the cowboys this way? Do I avoid to confront me with my faults?"

She wondered what she could tell him now. If he hadn't picked this arguement with his father, he wouldn't doubt his decisions. "Adam, one day you will understand why this had to happen. Because I'm sure there must be a reason. You just don't see it at the moment and remember that there is a positive aspect from these days, too. Little Joe has a different attitude to work on the ranch. Even I've noticed that he doesn't look for excuses why he could dodge out of his chores."

He put his cheek against her head. "What can I do, Bridget? I cannot just stand there and listen to all his accusations, and then give him a nod and go to muck out the barn for a week."

"I don't know, Adam. But as it is now, it's just a disgrace. The whole family suffers."

For a while they stood there looking out the window. "Ma, ..."

Chesmu came running into the kitchen with his little cat on his arm. "Neisha kiktá yaŋkÁ."

"I'll be right there, sweetheart."

She took Adam's hand and placed it on her cheek. "We will find a solution, …. we must find one."

Before he turned her around, she felt him breath deeply. "I'll think about what to do."

She stroked his arm and kissed him. "Then I'll get your little princess. As it stands, her afternoon nap is getting shorter and shorter. "

For a long time he looked out of the window, but his mountains didn't show any solution.

XX

One eye closed, the other slightly narrowed, Bernardo held the piece of timber in his hand and looked at it extensively. Then he took it down and went to Adam, who was looking at the drawings. "Dad, I think I am ... I finished this part."

Adam tucked the pencil behind his ear and took the piece of wood from Bernardo. He, too, held it up to look at it closely. Then he ran his hand over the wood. "Have you re-measured exactly that you have the correct size?"

"Sí, twice."

Adam handed the piece of wood back to him and hit him lightly on the arm. "Then you can take care of the first part of the roof, but ..."

He picked up the pencil again and was about to show his son something on the drawing when Bernardo looked past him. Adam looked at him and followed his gaze. Immediately all his muscles tensed, and he took an upright posture. Slowly he turned to the door of the workshop. There stood his father looking at him no less seriously than he himself certainly looked. For a while noone said a sound or moved just one step to the other. Time and again Bernardo looked from Adam to Ben, but he didn't know what to do. "Do you have time to talk with me, Adam?"

Adam would have liked to say instantly that there was no point anyway, and he best go back to his ranch. But since these words would have been only the expression of his own helplessness, they would have been thoughtless arrows, he had shot. So he just nodded. "Let's go to the office. There we can talk in peace."

Adam went to the door leading to his office and opened it. Before he followed his father, he looked at Bernardo. "You can write down the dimensions and choose the right piece of wood. The parts for the roof will be slightly more difficult than the ones you have made already. If you don't work accurately, then we will have a fairly lopsided roof."

His son nodded eagerly. "I will measure anything accurately, Señor ... Dad."

With a smile Adam closed the door. His back turned to him Ben was standing at one of the easels, looking at the drawings. Without saying anything, Adam sat down on the edge of his desk. Ben didn't turn around when he started talking. "It's hard for me to find the right words, as you once said to me very clearly that I always find the same, if I want to apologize."

At first Adam scratched his forehead with his thumb, then crossed his arms. "I don't think it's done with a simple excuse."

"No, ... I'm quite aware of that."

Now Ben turned to his son. "I don't know if you remember. Once we both had a conversation in which I told you that I'm never so sure if you will stay here on the Ponderosa, or if you will just leave one fine day."

"Yes, I remember that. I asked you what you expect from me. Whether I have to give it to you in writing. But I don't know what that has to do with the current situation."

"Quite a lot, Adam. For as then I was blind again and didn't see the obvious. I was still afraid you'll pack your things and leave, though I should have seen you won't."

Adam couldn't help laughing softly. "What makes you so sure, especially after what happened between us?"

Ben went to the window, but immediately turned back to his son. "Because it's your home here. You would probably leave me personally, but never the land. Not your family, ... and I don't mean me, but ... Amarok."

A bit dumbfounded Adam looked at him, then stood up and walked a few steps toward Ben. "I think I've told you quite often that I know exactly who my father is. To use your jealousy of Amarok as an excuse, I find most ... "

Ben laid his hand on Adam's arm to interrupt him. "I don't use Amarok as an excuse. I've said I should have seen it a long time that he and his tribe are family and home for you. You'd never have built such a house if you had really intended to leave."

While Ben continued to speak, he went to the easel. "My dream was to have a ranch, and I never really understood why you always said it wasn't your dream, but still stayed with me on the Ponderosa. Why you did work here, although you have obviously other talents, too."

He pointed to the drawings. "I know from Clement what kind of offers you've gotten during your time in Boston, and that any other student would have accepted one of them, but you came back and are still here. Despite our many disputes."

Ben breathed a sigh of relief before turning back to Adam. "Little Joe told me what you said to him on the cattle drive. That it is your dream to keep mine alive. I admit, my first thoughts were that you don't have to, if you're not behind it, but only do it out of a misunderstood sense of duty. But then I finally understood. It's not just my heritage that you want to continue, but also the heritage of Amarok that you want to keep alive. You're connected to this entire land. Your love for the mountains, the Gosiute and the Ponderosa is so great that you would never leave. All these years I've been worrying in vain. You would never make a decision that harms the Ponderosa. You were ready to die for the Gosiute. And as Joe and Hoss told me, you would have given your life on the trail, if you could have prevented worse."

For a moment, Ben closed his eyes. "You have always acted in accordance with the ranch. I only think of the time after Marie's death. You haven't hesitated for a moment to take responsibility, and although you were very young at that time, you made it. And when I think of all the decisions you made, then they were always made in accordance of what is so important to you, even though I haven't always recognized it right away in my stubbornness."

With his hands akimbo, Ben looked out the window. "But I also know that we cannot go on like this either. That in our relationship something has to change. Otherwise you cannot live your dream."

Meanwhile, Adam had also walked next to him and looked at the mountains. Ben reached into his pocket and took out a document to hand it to Adam, who looked a bit stunned, but took it and read it. Again and again he looked at the document, then again to the mountains. Then he handed it back to his father. "I can't sign that, and you know that."

Ben pushed it back into Adam's hand. "Of course you can."

Ben now turned to Adam. "Adam, look at me, please."

Slowly Adam turned to him. "I have realized my dream, and now it's time to ensure that it will continue."

"But not this way, Pa."

"Yes, just like that, otherwise nothing will ever change between us. By Joe's words, I realized that it's as much your ranch as well as it's mine. You also worked on my dream from the first minute here in Nevada. You've put as much blood and sweat in it as I did. Adam, ... you've almost already got all the responsibility for the ranch."

Shaking his head, Adam pressed the document against Ben's chest and went back to his desk. "Just because I sign it, you won't change. You will still question all my decisions."

"No, I won't."

Ben came to the table and placed the contract next to Adam. "I will look after other things in future."

"And that would be?"

For the first time since Ben had entered Adam's office, he smiled. "I'll catch up with what I've missed with you guys. I'll take more care of Sophie and Sarah and all my grandchildren."

Then he smiled even more. "And I cannot imagine Nick being the last grandchild, with whom I'll be gifted from my sons."

Adam didn't smile, but got up to go back to the window. "Adam, don't make it so difficult for us."

"This time you make it pretty easy with you, Pa."

With his back, Adam leaned against the windowpane. "You really believe that the relationship between us both will be changing, just because I sign that? Since I can remember, you have been trying to change me and criticize just about all my decisions. I don't feel like still being treated like a little boy by you. Because, even if I sign this, you'll keep an eye on what I do with your ranch. And I already can hear you yelling when I don't want to work with one of your old business partners, or if I want to expand the timber business, for example."

"No, I won't. If you want, I will always be there when you need advice. I'll support you at work, if you want me to, but I won't interfere any more."

"You cannot, Pa. You live too much for the ranch."

"I've been doing less and less since you came back from Boston, and I'm not going to retire completely. But we must now clarify the situation, and you can believe your stubborn old father when I say, I won't interfere. If you don't want me to, then I don't. Sure, I cannot promise that I will jump for joy at every single decision you make, and you will certainly notice, if I have a different opinion. But it won't escalate as much as three weeks ago."

"But you don't expect an immediate decision from me?"

Ben took the documents in his hand. "Yes, I expect that, Adam. Because I think there's nothing to think about. The Ponderosa is yours. We don't have to wait until I'm dead."

Adam walked past his father. "Pa, I cannot sign this."

Leisurely Ben turned around to look at his son, who was standing in the middle of the room, his hand in front of his eyes. "Yes, you can, and I won't leave until we have signed the contract. Adam, one day you would own everything anyway, and if I were to be shot in town tomorrow, you would take it without hesitation."

Adam took his hand from his eyes and looked at Ben. "What about Hoss and Joe?"

"Adam, ... Hoss has the farm. He doesn't want the Ponderosa at all, and Joe, ... well I think about Joe, we don't need to talk. You will be lucky if you can send him off to buy cattle some day, and he really comes back with the cattle and not with anything else."

Ben stood very close to his son. "Son, you know as well as I do that we need to do this. We cannot both run the Ponderosa, and so it's now time for me to hand over responsibility. And who, if not you could make my dream live on."

Then Ben laughed louder. "And who's coming after you, is already fixed. So if you're not going to have a son who has this love for the land and the ranching, it won't be the Cartwrights of the Ponderosa but the Francois in future."

Adam had to laugh for the first time. "Well, if I really placed Riccardo in front of Little Joe, he won't speak to me anymore. I'm sure of."

Ben handed Adam the papers again. Still a little reluctant, Adam took them out of his father's hand and sat down in his chair at the desk. Before he placed his signature, he looked back at his father. "Are you really sure you want this?"

"Yes Adam, I am."

XXXX

"Look, who's dropping by!"

Hoss slapped his little brother's arm. "Well, it's high time, big brother, that you came back to work. Hoss already gets in trouble with Koko because he has to help out here all the time."

Slowly Adam dismounted from Sport and approached his brothers. "You don't seem to have much to do if you can both stand around yacking."

"You know Joe, I never thought it would happen. But as it looks, all have been right."

With his arms crossed, Adam leaned against a wooden pillar and turned his head to the right and then to the left, alternately looking at his brothers. "Yes Hoss, it's even worse than everyone thought."

"Maybe we should get our big brother back to his groundings, so he remembers what hard work is."

"But how do we do that, Hoss? One wrong word and he throws us out of his ranch."

Joe snapped his fingers. "Oh, I forgot, we know nothing about it because our dear Adam hasn't even thought to tell us, so we could congratulate him."

"Oh Joe, you have to understand, that's his advanced age. You forget a lot. For this isn't everything that he has forgotten to tell us or Pa and Ma, and I can tell you exactly why he forgets all that."

With his arms crossed, Hoss stood next to Adam and winked at Joe, who immediately turned to the other side of Adam, and before Adam could react at all, Hoss had already taken him in a headlock. "He's just too busy with such useless things as the crazy idea of cutting a hole into a mountain to get a train through."

Joe bent down and looked at Adam, who looked at him quite tormented. "Hoss, maybe you shouldn't throttle him so much so, I think he's hardly getting any air. We don't want to get in trouble with Bridget because he's coming home for supper so damaged."

"No, we don't want that."

With a quick movement, Hoss tightened the pressure around Adam's neck and pushed him even more to his knees. "It's better now, Joe?"

Once more, Joe bent to face Adam, who was now turning a little red and starting to sweat. "Yes, much better."

"Shouldn't you tell your brothers such important things?"

Joe tilted his head and grinned at Adam. "Adam, Hoss can hardly understand you. You have to talk a bit louder."

Adam's eyes glared at Joe. Joe immediately hit Hoss' arm. "Hoss, I think he's getting a little angry with us."

"He with us? He can be glad we're still talking to him. ... Well, let's not be so unforgiving. You can tell him how he can get out of this situation, Little Joe."

Little Joe's eyes grew wide and he pointed with his thumb to himself. "I can decide?"

"Yes, you can. He always wants you to make decisions. Then you can prove to him that you have learned something in the last few weeks. Even though he wasn't here."

Joe scratched his head, pretending to think, then he bent down again. "Well, ... I think, …"

Joe raised his head. "Hoss, I don't know if we should ever let go of him. He doesn't look very kind."

"Oh, don't you worry about that. He still needs us."

"If you say so. ... Well Adam, Hoss and I were thinking that you should get a punishment. Not only didn't you help us for more than three weeks at the ranch. ... No, by the way, we learn that our dear father has made you the owner of the Ponderosa, and to learn it that way isn't nice, Adam. You mustn't deal with your brothers this way. Since you now have sooooo much money in your pocket, you have to pay for us on Friday in town. A good meal and my promised first beer in the saloon. What do you think about that? Do you accept your punishment?"

Adam desperately tried to wriggle out of Hoss' arm. But as soon as he moved, his brother tightened his grip. "Hoss, I think he said yes."

"Look carefully, Joe, so we can be absolutely sure."

With another look in Adam's face, Joe nodded. "For sure!"

Hoss was about to release his grip as Joe lifted his arm. "Stop Hoss, didn't you say, he still kept a secret?"

"Oh yeah. There was something else, wasn't there, big brother?"

"Hoss, he no longer talks to us ..."

"Then we have to shake him a bit."

Hoss walked slowly with Adam in the headlock as he felt being grabbed on the leg. "Hey, big brother, are you talking to us again?"

Hoss looked at his little brother. "You know, Little Joe, with the many children who sit at our brother's table, he felt that it won't attract attention when in a few months even one more will be sitting there. That's why he hasn't told anyone that he's going to make Pa a grandpa again."

"No, that's not true ...!"

Joe bent down to Adam. "... You wouldn't hide that from us? Well Adam, for that I think I can drink two beers in the saloon."

Joe looked up with his hands on his thighs. "Hoss, he growls."

"Then I'll let go of him, but I think you should take a step back. Just in case he tries to bite you."

With arms crossed, Joe and Hoss stood in front of Adam, who stood up slowly and grabbed his neck. "Do you think that's funny?"

Both just nodded and grinned at him. "You know, big brother, you could have told Joe that he's working for you now and not for Pa any more."

Adam looked up and rolled his eyes. "That's exactly why I didn't talk about it, because I guessed what you would be up to. Pa and I have just changed the places on the papers, nothing else."

Hoss laughed loudly, slapping Joe's arm. "Nothing else? Pa has overwritten the Ponderosa. It belongs to you now. So I think this isn't a trifle."

"Well, me neither."

With his eyes closed, Adam shook his head. "Pa still has all the powers and can represent the business interests of the ranch."

"Do you know what, Joe? He's trying to dodge out from paying. Pa told us very clearly that from now on, Adam is the only one taking care of the Ponderosa and not him."

Annoyed, Adam raised his hands. "Well, all right. We go to town on Friday night, and I will pay the food and Joe's beer, but nothing more, and then we will finish this topic please."

"Uhhhm, Adam ..."

Carefully Joe raised his hand and showed his brother two fingers. "... I'll get two beers. One for the ranch and one for that I'll be uncle again."

"No, Joe, your brother has to pay you three beers."

"Three?"

Joe looked at him in amazement. "Of course. He had promised you one for your first cattle drive, and that you didn't get even to this day."

Adam tapped his forehead. "Three beers for Shortshanks? If I do that, Pa will rip the papers right away the next day. No .. no .. food, a beer, maybe two, and then we will take Joe straight back home."

For a long time Hoss looked at him, then hit him hard on the back. "We agree, big brother, but I ..." Hoss pointed to himself. "... decide where we're going to eat. It should be worth it."

Now Adam took a step toward his brothers. "Yes, you can do, and in order that I can pay for all that ..."He first tapped Joe and then Hoss against the chest. "... you two will ride to the west pasture now and repair the fences there."

"And why should we do that?"

Adam tilted his head a little. "Why should you do that, Little Joe ...?"

A grin spread across Adam's face. "... quite simple, because I call the shots now, as you both have stated so beautifully. So, if you want your wage at the end of the month, little brother, then you should do what I tell you."

With an even bigger grin, Adam was about to go to the house when he turned to Joe and Hoss again. "Oh, and if you're back, please clear out the tack room. It's a bit dusty in there."

As he went on, Adam didn't need to turn to know how darkly his brothers looked after him.

XXX

With momentum Adam opened the door and looked in surprise into the living room. His father was sitting in the chair, and Joe and Hoss stood in front of him, looking at him in despair. "Adam, glad that you come."

Joe came a few steps toward him and grabbed him by the arm. "Pa will not let me go."

Slowly Adam took off his hat and looked slightly disbelieving from his brothers to his father. "And why not? Have you been up to anything?"

"No, I have not, and I have also done all the chores you've given me."

Now Adam looked to his father, who looked very grimly into the round. "Adam, it's Friday night. You know exactly what's going on in town. Right now after the cattle drives, when there's not so much work to be done. I'm not going to allow Joe to hang around there."

"But Pa, ... Hoss and I are there to take care of him. Besides, we only want to eat something and then drink a beer. I promised Joe and ... "

Quite innocently Adam looked at his father and spread his arms. ".. it's nevertheless better, he drinks his first beer in a saloon with us, than alone with his funny friends."

Immediately Adam got a slightly surprised look from Joe. "He's only seventeen, Adam."

"So what? I had my first beer in the saloon at fifteen."

Ben's eyes grew big. Adam just grinned cheekily and put his hat on. "Pa, I promise you, we will bring Joe back home safe and sound."

He breathed heavily and looked at each one of his three sons very impressively. "I'm relying on you, Adam."

"You know me, Pa. I'm never up to something."

XXX

Amazed and completely bewildered, Hoss looked at Adam's plate, then back at his big steak. "Adam, your steak is still coming?"

"No, I'll stay with the soup, Hoss."

Joe just pushed a big piece of steak into his mouth. "Hoss, ... now ... that he's responsible ... for ... the money, ... he has to keep it together, and who knows, ... how many children Bridget and he ... will ... still adopt in addition to their own."

Hoss laughed, but immediately he looked back at Adam and became serious. "I thought you had the last leaf on the trail?"

"I had, Hoss, but I just chewed them for too long. In the meantime I can eat more, but not a steak yet, and I think today would be the wrong time for trying it out.

Hoss pointed to him with the knife. "I have an eye on that, big brother."

Now Adam looked at him seriously and put his hand on Hoss's arm. "There's no need, Hoss. Bridget is very careful that I eat and - as I said - it's not so bad. But, Hoss, please take care if I'm going to collect too many stones during the next months because of the baby."

"Will do, Adam, and now eat at least your soup."

With a last, slightly disgusted look at Adam's plate, Hoss again devoted himself to his meal.

XX

Excited, Joe rubbed his hands as they entered the saloon. His eyes wandered right through the room. He knew what it looked like, but today he was here with the permission of his father and could sit down at the table without a feeling of guilt. With three glasses, Hoss came to the table and sat down. Instantly Joe grabbed a glass and wanted to drink the beer, but before he could raise the glass, Adam put his hand on his arm. Then he raised his finger and shook his head. "Not so fast, Little Joe. The first beer in a saloon you have to enjoy. It's supposed to be an unforgettable experience for you."

Adam moved closer to Joe and put his arm around his shoulder. "You have to look at the beer in this glass."

Rigidly, Joe looked at the beer. "You have to hear what it tells you .."

"It's talking to me?"

"Of course, Little Joe. You must become one with the juice."

With his hand slightly stretched forward, Adam looked into the distance and cleared his throat. Joe followed his gaze.

" _Filled with mingled cream and amber,_

 _I will drain that glass again._

 _Such hilarious visions clamber_

 _Through the chamber of my brain._

 _Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies_

 _Come to life and fade away._

 _What care I how time advances;_

 _I am drinking beer today." xx_

As Joe looked desperately to his middle brother, Hoss could hardly keep himself from laughing. "Well Adam, now I'm getting to be one with my beer."

And he raised his glass and emptied it in one stroke. Briefly Joe looked at Adam and then took his glass. With mock seriousness, Adam sat back down and toasted to his brothers. "You have no idea how to enjoy your beer properly."

"Yes, big brother, we have. That's exactly where I enjoy it."

Hoss pointed to his belly and laughed out loud again.

Later Adam stood at the counter to get the third round for himself and his brothers when Tom joined him. "So it seems, Little Joe has finally managed to get his beer."

Nodding Adam looked over his shoulder at his little brother. "Yes, but this is the last round. Then we take him home. He's already talking his head off."

"We both hadn't been drinking beer for quite a long time."

"And why not?"

Adam pointed to the badge. "I don't know, who has now become the more decent of us."

"It would indeed look a bit bad if the Sheriff staggers out of the saloon, Buddy."

They both smiled. "But one beer you must drink with me here and now, Sheriff."

Shocked, Tom put his hand on his chest. "Adam, you're not going to drink more than two glasses of beer today?"

With his hand, Adam showed the bartender that he wanted two more beers. "We're going home right after that. As I said, this is the last round."

"Well, then."

They raised their glasses and grinned at each other. As before, they made a contest, who first emptied his glass. Zestfully, Adam put the glass in front of him, wiping his hand across his mouth. "You're getting old, Tom. You were never so slow before."

Tom slapped him on the back, and he put his glass down carefully. "No Buddy, ..."

He tapped his forehead. "... I need a clear head in case you three are up to something."

Laughing Adam took the three beers. "No chance, Tom. I didn't just promise Pa to bring Joe home in time, but even Bridget that I won't be so late. We'll go down to the lake tomorrow and for dancing in the evening."

"Then I wish you a lot of fun. I'll be on my turn through town then."

They said goodbye and Adam went to the table. He had to take a deep breath. He had drunk the beer with Tom a bit too fast, and the soup hadn't been suitable for drinking more than two beers. He wondered anyway, what his belly would tell him about all the alcohol.

"Well, last round, Joe, then we go home."

XX

With his hands on his thighs, Joe stood in the small side street and laughed. "Oh my goodness Adam, I've never seen you run so fast."

With his head stretched back, Adam leaned against the wall trying to catch his breath again. "You know Hoss, when he loses his sense of humor."

Later Adam didn't really know, at what point his mind had apparently left him. Whether it was after the fourth beer at the table or after the sixth at the counter with Jeffrey. He only knew that Jeffrey was coming in as they were about to leave and persuaded them to toast to his birthday. Hoss had already shaken his head because Joe had enough after his third beer, but with a deep sigh Hoss had agreed on the condition that they would go straight home afterwards. However, they had just drunk the first glass, when a new one was already in front of everyone, and the two whiskeys had caused Adam to completely forget what he had promised Pa. Adam couldn't remember the name of the guy, who started to annoy Joe because he thought him to be too young for being in a saloon. The whole time Hoss kept plucking him by his sleeve, whispering that it was better to go now. Adam had then turned to his brother and told him that they would have to show Joe how to deal with such guys the best way. It didn't take long, and Adam had provoked the guy so much that he drew back his fist for the first blow. Within no time there was a fight in the saloon. In this mess, Adam grabbed Joe, took two beers standing on the counter and stood a little apart with Joe on the wall, explaining to him that an almost perfect Friday evening would look just like this. His grin disappeared, however, as Mathew stood next to him, explaining that he should pay the damage because he had finally started the fight. Briefly, Adam had thought about what to say. Then his eyes fell on Hoss, who just shook off a guy who kept hitting him on the back. Adam told the bartender that Hoss would pay the damage, because he was only responsible for food and drinks that evening. Grumbling, Mathew went to Hoss, tapped him on the shoulder and spoke to him. With each sentence the face of Hoss became more red. In the end he lifted the bartender aside and walked straight to Adam with narrowed eyes and a very dark look. Adam didn't hesitate for a moment and left the saloon with quick steps.

Joe straightened and looked carefully around the corner. "And, is he to be seen?"

"He's standing back there, but he's not looking in our direction."

Joe also leaned against the wall. Very clearly he noticed the effects of the alcohol. But until now it didn't feel as bad as always alleged. He thought the evening was very funny. He had never seen Adam so drunk and never before had he had such a fun time with him as right now. Actually, he had thought he'd laugh so much with only Hoss. However, he would never have suspected his middle brother to pay so much attention that they would come home in time. "Adam, ..."

His brother didn't open his eyes when he spoke to him. "Mmh ...?"

"You said in the saloon, an almost perfect Friday evening would look like that. When is it perfect? When Tom puts us in jail?"

Adam burst out laughing. "Nope, then it's busted."

"Well, how then?"

Although his brother grinned, he shook his head. Joe immediately stood up. "Come on, Adam. We cannot get into more trouble either. Tomorrow Pa will be complaining anyway because I'm coming home so late."

Adam opened one eye and then stood straight. "All right. I'll show you. But we only drink one beer, and you will only look, nothing more. Understood?"

Joe nodded, eyes bright. Adam grabbed his arm and looked carefully around the corner. Nothing could be seen of Hoss. Then he ran off.

"Hey Adam, ..."

Jeffrey came across the street and grinned. "You'd better disappear. The Sheriff's looking for you. He wants to talk to you about the saloon."

"Well, I .. guess I should avoid my friend for a few days."

"Yes, you should. Where do you two want to go? Your horses are standing in front of the hotel."

"You know, Jeffrey, ..."

Adam put his arm around Joe. "... since my little brother is now seventeen years old, I think it's time for him to drink a special beer ..." Jeffrey looked skeptically at him. "... I've heard of a new bar in town."

Knowingly Jeffrey began to smile. "You mean the Sweet Bravour?"

Joe's mouth snapped shut loudly, because he immediately suspected what kind of bar it was. "Do you think Little Joe can handle that?"

Adam's friend laughed pretty loud. "He won't get the full program. We drink a beer, and he can watch the girls dance. Then I bring him home."

"Well, have a lot of fun, Little Joe."

With a strong blow to Joe's arm Jeffrey said goodbye, and the two brothers continued on their way. Outside the entrance Adam wagged his finger at Joe. "We only go in there if you stick to my rules. One beer, the dance show and then we go again. Nothing more."

"Promise, Adam."

"Well, then come on."

It didn't take long, and Joe's mouth became quite dry. In the saloon it was already hard for him not to look constantly at the girls. But here he didn't know where to look first, or rather not. Something reminded him of the saloon in Nevada City, but here it was much quieter. There was also no drunk cowboy, who shouted loudly. Without taking his eyes off the stage, he let himself be dragged to the bar by Adam. His brother stood behind him and handed him a beer over his shoulder. "Joe, don't forget to breath."

Joe took a sip. "As I see, someone here got old enough to look at the special menu."

Not only Joe choked on his beer when he heard that voice. Both turned to Yvette, who stood grinning in front of them, and they looked at her with wide eyes. "What are you doing here in Virginia City?"

"I am also pleased to see you, Adam."

Slightly embarrassed, Adam scratched his neck. "I needed a change, and since I got quite a lot of money with a very special order and saved it, I could open my own bar."

For the first time Joe found his voice again. "This is yours?"

"Yes, I have to think about my future, Little Joe."

Grinning, she looked at Adam and Joe began to smile brightly as well. "Then you are always here?"

"Do not even think about it."

His brother's gaze was enough for Joe to step aside. Yvette now stood between the brothers. "Since this establishment belongs to me, Little Joe, I can choose now who can read my personal menu - and who cannot. Don't be angry, Joe, you're not going to be among them, but I have someone who would suit you much better."

"Yvette, ...!"

"What's wrong, Adam, ...?"

She turned to Adam and began to play with his shirt buttons, and with a smile she opened the first one, then put her hands on his chest. She noticed as Adam had to swallow when she snuggled a little closer to him. "... you don't want to tell me, you thought it was a common saloon?"

"No, ... but actually we just wanted to have a beer and ..."

"... And?"

Joe's eyes widened as he saw that his brother was kissed by Yvette, and then, hesitantly, put his arms around her to draw her closer. His astonishment at his brother's behavior was short-lived. Joe grinned and rubbed his hands. Since Adam was obviously distracted, he could take a closer look around. To get even more courage than he actually had, he drank the beer in one stroke and went to the stage. He was about to talk a bit with one of the girls when he was grabbed by the collar. He wanted to call out, that he was old enough to be here, when he realized that it was Hoss, who was standing behind him. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"Well, ... I, ... Adam, ..."

He pointed first to the stage and then to the bar, but his brother was no longer there. "Hoss, we just wanted to have a beer and then go."

"Adam is here, too?"

"Well, he was ..., but ..." He looked again at the bar. "... well, then there was Yvette, and .."

Now it was Hoss, whose eyes went wide. "Yvette is here?"

"Yes, she owns the bar."

Hoss muttered loudly. "That's ruined a totally perfect today. A brother who hardly has anything on his bones and should actually go home after the second beer, and the other, who thinks that only with soup in the belly, he can stand more than two. What to come, I can see right now."

He put Joe on a chair near the entrance and handed him another beer. "If you stay put, you can drink that. Understood?"

Joe saluted and stayed. He didn't feel like moving so much any looked around. Even if Adam would surely be angry with him, if he didn't grab him now, he would be, if he was sober again. For with a clear mind, Adam would never forgive himself, if he spent the next few hours with Yvette. Then he saw him as he was walking with a bottle of champagne and Yvette on his arm into a room next to the bar.

Yvette flinched as the door was flung open, and Hoss was standing there with his hands akimbo. She was just about to call for the bouncer when Adam shook his head. "Hoss, you're disturbing!"

Hoss went to his brother. "No, I don't think so. I think we should take Joe home now. ... Adam ..!"

"We can do that in an hour."

Adam turned back to Yvette to take her in his arms and to kiss her. Hoss rolled his eyes, grabbed Adam by the collar and pulled him away from Yvette. "Excuse me, Madame, but I think my brother should actually go home to look after his wife and his children. Shouldn't you, ADAM?"

"You don't have to yell in my ear like that."

"It's all right, Adam. Take Little Joe home. I'm still here the next few days ... "

She stood very close to him and gave him a very long kiss. "... You're always welcome here."

"Yvette, I hope you haven't foisted some coins on Adam?"

Grinning, she shook her head. "Hoss, your brother doesn't need a coin if he wants to visit me."

Hoss groaned and took Adam with him. "I hope you can't remember that tomorrow."

They left the room, and Adam wriggled out of the grip of his brother. "I can walk alone, Hoss."

"I wouldn't call that walking, big brother."

Then Hoss pushed Joe, who was dozzing off on his chair. "Come on, Shortshanks, it's time that I take you home."

"Can't I just sit here and enjoy the view?"

With a jerk, Hoss and Adam grabbed Joe by the arm and went with him to the horses.

XX

"Do you think Pa has noticed that we've just brought Joe home?"

From the side Hoss looked at his brother. "If you hadn't sung so loud in front of the door, then we would have had a chance, but probably only Mum prevented him from shooting us both tonight."

Adam took a whiskey bottle out of the saddle bag and opened it. "What's the matter with you tonight, Hoss? I don't know you being so seriously."

"And I don't know you so drunk either. You promised Pa you'd take care of Joe, and then you show him everything he's not supposed to do. Drink, fight and ... Yvette!"

Adam took a sip from the bottle and handed it to Hoss, who rode beside him. "Hoss, I know that today I certainly have one or the other beer too much, but when will we three spend such an evening again? Twenty years from now we'll laugh about it."

"If I hadn't gotten you out there, big brother, and Bridget knew about it, you'd never laugh again."

"Hmmm, ... maybe I'm grateful to you tomorrow ... How did you know where we were?"

"Jeffrey .."

"Ohh .."

"We will not only get into trouble because of Joe, Adam."

"The saloon?"

Hoss nodded and took another big gulp. "... except that you told Mathew I should pay, I'd say ..." After another big sip, he grinned at Adam and returned him the bottle. "... it was a perfect Friday night, except for the end."

"Hoss, I don't know if it's so good that Koko was your only girlfriend, or you'd know what a perfect Friday night should look like."

Quickly, Adam put his hand on Hoss's mouth when his brother laughed loudly. "Adam, I hope for you and Bridget that such evenings are very rare."

Both looked at Adam's house, but as it looked, noone had noticed that they were standing outside the door. So they emptied the bottle, and Adam then tried to go upstairs as quietly as possible. But he failed miserably because he was stumbling over the armchair, which caused Rusty to bark because she thought Adam was going to play with her. So he sat on the floor and tried to silence the dog.

"It's nice that you've still found your way home."

Startled, he looked behind him and saw Bridget slowly coming down the stairs. "I ..."

Quite clumsily he pulled himself up with the chair, but stumbled forward a few steps, then held onto his wife's arm. With a grin, he tried to save the situation somehow.

"Adam, ..."

Slightly disgusted Bridget exhaled and fanned her hand in front of her face. "This is surely more than two beers."

Smiling and a bit unsteady he pulled her closer. "It could have been three."

He was about to kiss her as she paused and pushed him away. "Are you smelling of perfume?"

She leaned forward to smell his neck again. "That's perfume, Adam ...!"

"Well, this isn't now, ... I mean, ... Joe .. and Yvette ... "

She pushed him away, and he had trouble not to jerk backwards and fall over the chair again. "YVETTE ...?"

He looked at her with a finger on his lips. "No, ... well, ... you see, now ..."

The whiskey, as it looked, had been the final straw for him so that he couldn't muster any reasonable sentence. "Is Yvette in town, and you were with her?"

"Yes ... well, ... no ... I ..."

He didn't need to speak any further. The eyes of Bridget said it all. "You don't need to try to get up the stairs. You won't sleep in your bed anyway."

With that she turned around and he could only hear the bedroom door being slammed shut.

XX

It hadn't taken him long to catch up with his brother. He must have been pretty done by the whiskey as slowly as he trotted. With tired eyes he looked at Adam in surprise. "What are YOU doing here?"

"I need a settee tonight."

"Bridget?"

"Mh ..."

"But you have enough rooms."

"Yvette ..."Hoss stopped his horse. "You told her?"

"No, ... yes, ... well, ..."

With his flat hand Hoss slapped his forehead. They didn't talk again until they reached the farm. As quietly as possible, they sneaked into the house. Hoss brought another bottle, and they sat down in front of the fireplace to make plans for Adam to apologize to Bridget the next day. In the end, Hoss and Adam had a precise plan of how their escape to Spain looked, and how they would make the big money there.

XX

Open-mouthed and his eyebrows pulled up to the hairline, Travis was standing next to the settee. Then he climbed over the back and crouched beside his uncle. He was startled when his father, whose head was resting on Adam's shoulder, began to snore loudly. Carefully, Travis tapped Adam's arm. As he repeated this several times and didn't produce any effect, he slowly opened Adam's right eye with two fingers. But even then his uncle didn't move. Startled, he ran to his mother in the bedroom to tell her that his Pa had eaten a bear, which was loudly roaring in his Pa's belly, and his uncle was no longer alive.

Not five minutes later, Koko stood in front of the two men and looked at them pretty angrily. Adam had only opened his eyes for a moment, when Koko had awakened him quite roughly. Hoss tried to get up somehow to talk to her, but the second bottle that night had finally pulled his feet away. "Koko, .."

Hoss held on to the back of the settee because the room was still turning. "Well, we ..."

He looked at Adam, who toppled over and continued to sleep. "Didn't you intend to drink just one beer?"

Hoss blushed and looked at the floor. "There were a little more ..."

"Yes, and here you went on, as I see. But why is he here and not at home? I think you've just taken Joe to the Ponderosa, then he wasn't far off."

"Bihuawiffhou ..."

"What did you say?"

Hoss spoke softly. "Bridget has thrown him out."

Now Koko looked a bit surprised at Adam. "Just because he's drunk? I wouldn't have thought that of her."

"Uhhh ..."

"Hoss?"

"Well, not quite."

Koko noticed how Hoss was starting to knead his fingers. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, but ... Yvette has .. well, the new bar ..."

"Yvette is in Virginia City, and you've been to her?"

Desperately, Hoss raised his hands. "No, I ... well, but ..."

Hoss exhaled heavily and tried to look at her innocently. Koko just shook her head. "I don't know if I want to hear that, and I'm assuming that Joe isn't much better off than you."

Hoss whispered. "No, me neither."

With her eyes directed to the ceiling, Koko continued. "Then take your brother into the room. I don't want to see you again until you're able to think straight again. Honestly? I wouldn't like to be in your shoes when you ride back to the Ponderosa. About Bridget I don't even want to talk."

"He didn't do nothing, Koko, ... he never would ... "

Koko raised her hand. "Not another word, Hoss."

With a last desperate glance, he looked at Koko, but she walked past him into the kitchen. Hoss grabbed Adam, carried him into the room to the bed and lay down beside him. It didn't take long, and the bear in his belly complained again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

X Poem written by Edgar Allen Poe


	81. Chapter 81

Luckily this day was a bit cloudy and the sun didn't shine too much in his face. Leaning his head against the wall, he sat on the bench in front of Koko's house. He heard the front door open but he didn't turn his head to see who left the house. "I have some tea for you from Koko."

Just a mite Adam opened an eye to see his brother holding out the cup of tea. "It shall soothe your stomach."

Adam closed his eyes again, took the cup and smelled the tea grimacing slightly. Instantly he tried to explain to his stomach that he hadn't taken a sip of it yet. As Hoss sat down next to him, he squinted again from the vibration he made which hurt his head even more. "Your clothes should be dry by now. Should we ride to the Ponderosa to see how Joe's doing, or do you want to go to see Bridget first?"

He really didn't want to go anywhere. He would prefer to sit here forever. What had he been thinking about drinking more than two beers? He knew very well he couldn't take so much at the moment. It usually never ended well when he had one over the eight and he knew it. "How can you even think of riding to the Ponderosa, Hoss? You know exactly what awaits us there."

Without even opening his eyes, Adam knew that his brother was looking at his hands, kneading his fingers. "I think if we wait till tomorrow, it'll get even worse."

After Adam had put the cup on the table, he ran his hands over his face and breathed deeply. "I'm only trying to delay the inevitable."

"After all you'll have to go back home, big brother."

Adam would rather go ten times to his father and pick up a lecture than to go home to Bridget. The look she had given him tonight, he would never forget. He had sworn to never hurt her. He touched his head against the wall, but immediately regretted it. "Hoss, I'll never forget what you did for me tonight. I've no idea what's came over me that I so lost control."

"I can tell you! ... We should have gone after the first beer."

They were silent for a while, and Adam wasn't sure whether his brother didn't doze off again. "Hoss, ...?"

He heard only a light growl beside him. Then he opened his eyes and looked at the tea before him. Hesitantly, he took the cup and emptied it sip by sip. With another deep breath he stood up. "Where are you going? Your belly again?"

Adam put his hand on his belly. "I just hope that the tea keeps its promise. No, I'm going down to the creek for a swim. I hope to get some life back into my bones and to get a bit sense back into my head." 

"But I hope you don't want me to accompany you."

Adam had to laugh. "You don't need to do that. I've got to think about how to apologize to Bridget."

"I could come along and confirm that you didn't do anything that could have hurt her."

Adam stretched his head back. "Hoss, I hurt her simply by being at Yvette's. Whether I've done something, or not."

Pretty angry with himself, he went on to the creek. Hoss looked after him and was glad he didn't have to change places with his brother.

The cool water had done him good. He didn't feel as fit as a fiddle, but his head wasn't as dull as before. But he still didn't know what to say to Bridget. He could only hope that she would listen to him. He dressed and went back to the house. First he would apologize to Koko and thank her that she had quickly washed his clothes in the morning, so that he looked halfway like a decent human being again.

Remembering how Koko's eyes glared at him, he wondered how Bridget would look at him. But he knew exactly how she would look at him, if she ever looked at him again. "I really wonder what has gotten into you to go to Yvette! Have you completely lost your mind because of those beers?"

"Koko, I didn't even know that she was in Virginia City."

She crossed her arms and shook her head. "How did you get the idea to visit such a bar? I thought those times were over."

Embarrassed, he shrugged. "I just wanted to have a beer with Joe."

Koko closed her eyes. "Your father will wring your neck when he learns."

"I don't intend to tell him, and I don't think Little Joe will talk about it either."

His friend opened her eyes again. "And …?"

He didn't need to ask what Koko meant. So he looked at her with big eyes, imploringly. "Koko, what do I do if she doesn't forgive me?"

It was hard to miss, as Koko took a deep breath. "Why shouldn't she forgive you? She loves you too much for that."

Slowly Adam lowered his head and spoke very softly. "You didn't see her eyes, and how she looked at me. I could see how much I hurt her by being at Yvette's."

"Adam, I will neither comfort nor pity you. You've been up to a lot of nonsense and now you have to pay for it. I can only give you the advice to find the right words so you can at least go dancing tonight. You have already ruined your day at the lake and it had been so important for you that you have time for yourselves."

"Are you coming, Adam? We should get going."

Hoss stood at the door and didn't look very excited about what was to come for them both at the Ponderosa. Adam looked back at Koko. "You're not going to tell me what I could say to Bridget?" 

"No."  
With slumped shoulders, Adam turned and went to Hoss. "Adam, ... wait."

With a sigh she took his hand. "I think if you assure her that you will never go back to Yvette or to this bar, she will forgive you, but I know Bridget, you won't be allowed any further lapse in this regard."

XX

The door hadn't yet fallen shut behind them, since Adam must have felt like dropping dead due to his father's glare. Hoss had sat himself apart from Ben's attention so that only Adam was in his focus. "Good to see my dear son. Don't tell me that your concern for your brother has brought you here!"

Adam's eyes went up the stairs. He couldn't imagine that Little Joe felt any better than he himself. He put his hand to his neck and rubbed it before he started talking. "Pa, I can only say I'm sorry that we brought Joe home so late, but he must be fine, except for a little headache. Nothing happened."

The back of the couch prevented Adam from flinching even further as his father yelled at him. "Nothing happened? Your brother's upstairs in his bed with a shiner that's got no equal and can hardly remember anything of yesterday. Your friend the Sheriff was here a few hours ago to look for you because you've apparently torn the saloon apart, and then I want to know at once how THIS happened to be in Little Joe's pocket."

Adam jerked his head back when his father held two coins from the Sweet Bravour under his nose. Instantly Adam looked at Hoss questioningly. He had no idea how his little brother had gotten these coins, and since Yvette had been pretty busy with him, she couldn't have given them to him either. But Hoss shrugged and couldn't explain it either. Joe could only have gotten them when he was sitting alone on the chair next to the exit. "I'm still waiting ...!"

"Well, ..."

"Pa, it was so ..."

Hoss had come to Adam's side. "There was some trouble with a guy in the saloon, and we wanted to protect Joe from all the drunken guys ..."

Hoss said no more as Ben's eyes were directed at him. "Hoss, may I remind you that Tom was here? And if you forgot it, he's the Sheriff. While at first he was hesitant, he then told me exactly what happened in the saloon."

"It's my fault."

Ben looked back at Adam. "Hoss actually wanted to go after the second beer, but I persuaded him to stay and then it came to the fight only a bit later. I will, of course, pay for the damage and later ride into town to see Tom."

With hands akimbo Ben said nothing, and Adam scratched his ear, because he knew that his father wanted to hear more. "We drank one beer in the bar. No more. I think, in an unobserved moment, one of the lad ... "Adam scratched his ear again. "Well, I mean, he certainly found them."

Ben cocked his head. "Found?"

With his hand before his eyes, Adam tried to think clearly." Pa, ... Adam's right. Neither he nor I gave Joe the coins, and Joe was almost never a minute alone in the bar. He drank a beer and then ..." Hoss glanced at his brother. "... we left."

Adam couldn't say what was worse. When his father yelled or fell silent. Then Ben turned and headed for the stairs. Immediately the two brothers exchanged glances. Would it really start now or could they go again? As he squinted his eyes tormented, he knew that it was going to go on. In his head, his father's voice sounded twice as loud. "I'm so disappointed with you, Adam. How can you bring Joseph home in such a condition? Do you know how bad your brother feels? You seem to forget that he's still a boy. Do I really have to explain to you what kind of impression the owner of the Ponderosa leaves behaving so bad in town? Do I have to wonder if it was a mistake to leave the ranch to you? Did you think about our good reputation for just a moment? Have you thought of what your father-in-law planned for his future? I'm getting the impression that my youngest son is getting more and more sensible while my elder's catching up on what he has apparently missed in his youth."

While Adam had sat down on the arm of the chair, looking down, Hoss stood between his brother and his father. "Pa, ... I admit the thing with the saloon shouldn't have happened, but otherwise we didn't do anything that you haven't done in your youth as well."

Ben's mood remained unchanged. Very sullenly he looked at Adam. "You can't blame only Adam that we've brought Joe home so late and in this condition, and Joe will surely not touch a drop of alcohol till he's eighteen."

"Should that calm me down? You know very well that we will host our summer festival in two weeks. I can already imagine the comments I have to listen to. How my dear son behaves since he owns the Ponderosa." 

Amazed, Hoss turned around when he heard the bang as Adam hit his thigh and rose. "You can tell them that you've found out, after I had some fun with my brothers, that I'm completely unsuited to run the Ponderosa. Let me know when you want me to rip the papers up!"

Adam put on his hat and left the house. He hadn't yet reached his horse, when Hoss was already with him. "Adam, ... don't start to argue like this again."

With both hands on the saddle, Adam turned his head to his brother. "Don't worry, Hoss. I just had to let off some steam."

Then Adam looked towards his own house. "Maybe we'll see each other after she has thrown me out."

Hoss slapped him on the back. "She won't, and if she doesn't believe you, send her to me."

With a deep breath Adam climbed into the saddle.

XXX

Adam slowly got off his horse and looked at the door. Tail wagging Rusty ran to meet him, but apart from that it was surprisingly quiet, he noticed with astonishment. As the day with Bridget had clearly fallen through he couldn't imagine that she had brought the children to her mother and Giovanna. Very carefully, he entered the house. Here, too, it was quiet. He looked into every room, but couldn't find anyone. When noone was in the garden, he was starting to fear that Bridget had taken the children and had left Nevada with the last carriage. Then he breathed deeply and calmed down that she surely wouldn't go so far. He bit his lip and wondered what to do now. Should he go to Cholette and check if she was there with the children or wait until she came back? He looked at the mountains. If she came back!

"I wouldn't have thought you would dare to come home today."

He flinched as he heard her voice, bumping into the table as he turned to her. With arms crossed, she stood in the doorway of the dining room, looking at him with a look that made his blood run cold.

"Doesn't your Yvette have time for you or will you just be picking up your stuff?"

He stood motionless at the table. His head wasn't only empty by the alcohol. By the way she looked at him, he was sure that, even if something happened to occur to him, he could say whatever he wanted, she would never forgive last night's behavior. "Bridget, ..."

"Don't you look at me like that!"

Not only her eyes were cold, but also her voice. "How could you? Did you invite her for the evening or what does she do here in Virginia City anyway?"

She raised her hand. "Though, ... I don't think I want to know. You tell me how much you love me, but it looks like I'm not the only one, because you have to run to her all the time."

It tore his heart when he saw how her icy gaze had changed. Now he could clearly see how much he had hurt her. He swallowed, went around the table, and when he stood in front of her, he took her hand. Immediately she pulled it back. "Don't touch me! Who knows where you had your hands all night."

He closed his eyes and lowered his head. He could handle anything. That Koko and his father were angry with him, and that Tom would certainly shake his head. He could take all of this, but he didn't know what to say to Bridget. He couldn't even look into her eyes to tell her that nothing had happened. Even to him it sounded like a cheap excuse. As so often in the past few hours he stumbled back as she pushed him in the chest. "Can you say something?"

Quite shocked at her reaction, he opened his eyes with a jerk and could see how hers filled with tears. Again, he carefully took her hand and this time she didn't pull away. Before he spoke, he took a deep breath. "I know I did wrong and hurt you deeply with what I've done. I hope you believe me when I tell you between Yvette and me it's not what you're thinking of. Yes, I was in this bar, and yes, I didn't behave as I should have."

Although her eyes spoke a different language, her voice was still very emotionless and very icy. "What's she doing here?"

He closed his left hand into a fist, because he knew if he answered the question, her mood wouldn't improve in the least. "She owns this bar."

As expected, she looked at him in horror and pulled her hand away. "Tell me right away that she didn't do that to be close you."

Her eyes grew even bigger when he didn't answer instantly. She shook her head and left him standing. With fists clenched, he looked after her as she ran into the kitchen. He followed her, though he didn't know if it was a good idea in her current mood.

She stood by the sink and looked out the window. He stood behind her, but didn't dare to touch her. "I promise you, I will never set foot in this bar again, and I'll try to avoid her. Bridget, ..."

He gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Since Boston I've loved only you, and it hasn't changed and won't change, and even though I've been to Yvette several times before I met you again, I've never felt anything for her."

She turned slowly to him. "I will never be so drunk again that I lose control over my actions. Please, ..." He closed his eyes and had to fight with his voice. "... forgive me ..." He whispered. "….. Please don't leave me."

Even when she leaned against his chest, he didn't open his eyes. He put his arms around her and just held her tight. After a little while he pressed her closer. "I love you, Bridget, ... more than words could ever say."

She pulled slightly out of his embrace and looked into his eyes. With her fingers she stroked softly along his eye, then let her hand rest on his cheek. "Adam, I can and must live with what was before us. But it hurts so much, if you give me the feeling that she still means anything to you."

He put his hand on hers and pressed it tighter to his cheek. "It will never happen again. Promise, but ..." He took her hand and kissed the palm and then placed it on his chest at the height of his heart. "... she now lives in Virginia City, and as I know her, she will always try to have me go to her."

Bridget wanted to pull her hand away, but he held her tightly. "But I will be able to resist any attempt. What happened to me last night will never happen again. You are far too important for me to risk losing you for some pleasure ... you are my life, Bridget."

She couldn't prevent a tear running down her cheek. She saw how much he fought for her. For her love. And she trusted him again. His eyes were so full of pain and love, and finally she couldn't hold back her tears. When she saw that he wasn't doing any better, she kissed him.

XX

"Don't you want to think it over about Boston?"

Jörn immediately shook his head. "No way, Little Joe. I can hardly wait until fall. Your brother and Riccardo's mother told me so much about Boston, that I'm pretty excited to see what awaits me."

"I hope if you ever come back you'll still spend your time with me."

Jörn slapped Joe's arm. "Of course I'll come back. I intend to work here."

"We will see. Boston changes people. Believe me, I saw it with my brother."

Jörn grinned. "I just hope when I get back that you also have changed."

Now Joe had to grin. Then he looked around to see if anyone was standing near them. "Jörn, what do you think? Before you leave in fall, you're going to say goodbye to Yvette ...?" Little Joe looked around. "... I would accompany you, too, if you don't dare go alone."

Little Joe waved his hands wildly as Jörn laughed out loud. "Joe, you have only one thing in mind after your trip two weeks ago. But yes, I will say goodbye to Yvette, but not like you think, and if you were to stay with one girl, you wouldn't need Yvette."

Joe grimaced and looked at his friend, slightly offended. "As if you were any better."

"As for the girls, definitely. I've got Tammy, and already for more than half a year."

"Tammy? You didn't tell me. "

His friend just grinned, and then he pointed his head at a spot behind him. "Look who's coming to your summer party."

Little Joe turned and stared. "Well, Little Joe. You didn't want to wait. You know, I would be annoyed if such a girl wouldn't talk to me anymore."

Again and again Little Joe glanced at Dianne who had just arrived with her parents and was welcomed by his father. Then he began to grin. "I think it won't take long, and she talks to me again. Wanna bet?"

Jörn looked at him, his brow furrowed and his mouth slightly open. "You're not serious, Joe! Dianne is such a nice girl, and she didn't come to school for several days because of your impossible behavior in the backyard of the school. And now you want to use her again? I thought you were going to grow up."

"Come on, Jörn. Just because YOU've got Tammy, I don't have to go out with just one girl. I don't intend to get married within the next few years."

Jörn shrugged. "Do what you think, Little Joe. But I think it's a pity that you play with the feelings of Dianne, because she really is in love with you. Well, she has been, and I hope she won't be taken in by you again. Well, I'm going back to Riccardo's mother to talk to her about Boston."

Still shaking his head, Jörn looked around, and when he had discovered Giovanna, he went to her. Joe put his hands in his pockets and gave Dianne a furtive look. Then he shrugged and went to her.

XX

"And, don't they all look fantastic? The dark brown, that stands a little to the left, that's a descendant of Ramero. Ramero is a horse that Uncle Adam had already written off, but Hoss and Koko have nursed it back to health."

Riccardo looked around. "Uncle Adam wants to give it to Aunt Bridget for her birthday."

Winona leaned on the fence of the paddock. "Hmm. I know. He had a bad leg, and Wynono was about to shoot him, but thanks to the special plants Hoss and Koko were able to treat the injury."

She turned her head to him and began to enlighten him about the various herbs and plants. She stopped, however, as she noticed Riccardo rolling his eyes. "What's the problem, Riccardo? Why do you roll your eyes?"

"Because you're talking about these stupid plants."

Now she turned completely to her friend. "And so what? I also listen to you when you talk about the horses and the work with Wynono."

Riccardo crossed his arms and looked to the horses in the pasture. "Well, these are important things, but your stupid plants? Who needs them?"

He staggered to the side as Sarah punched him against the arm with her fist. "Who needs them? Shall I remind you how they helped you last time when you had such a bad bellyache? Or to the winter when you had to stay in bed with that cold?"

Riccardo looked at her angrily with his hands akimbo. "That was the medicine of Doc Martin, that helped me and not Koko's tea."

"Of course it was the tea. How can you deny that it helped? Wynono also believes in the medicine of the shaman."

Riccardo pouted offended because he didn't know what to say. Of course, the tea had helped him, but he still found the lectures that Sarah always gave him very boring and couldn't find any use in it. He wanted to talk about the ranch. Both children looked into each other's eyes and said nothing. They flinched when Adam suddenly appeared next to them and laughed. "The way you both look at each other, I might really have to worry about whether you start fighting any minute."

"Since Riccardo plays with Bernardo, he has gone really cruddy."

Riccardo snapped back at once. "I'm not at all, and besides, Bernardo isn't here."

As Adam's little sister wanted to push her friend again, he stopped her hand just in time. "Now you both calm down and tell me what the problem actually is."

"I can tell you, Uncle Adam. She only talks about herbs and plants."

Briefly Sarah looked at him, and then she looked down sadly. Comforting Adam put his arm around her. "Riccardo, you can tell your girlfriend more nicely than that that something's not quite as interesting to you."

His nephew also looked down. "Riccardo, .. Winona, .. you don't have to agree always nor be interested in the same things, but in your heart you should definitely be alike, and I think that you two really are. So why don't you look for something that connects you both, when you spend time together?"

Not the heads, but the eyes of the two went up a little and they looked at each other again. Then Riccardo raised his head and reached out for Sarah's hand. "Sorry, that I was so stupid."

Still hesitantly, she looked at him but then she accepted the excuse. "And I apologize for having hit you."

With a smile, Adam gently slapped the two children on the back. "Come on cause I'd hurry now. You've been waiting all day for the cake Koko brought here. If you don't watch out, the other children will be there before you, and you two won't get any cake."

One look was enough, and Riccardo and Sarah ran off together. Still smiling, Adam looked after them. He then caught sight of Bridget, and a little surprised he raised an eyebrow, but then he closed his eyes and told himself to not jump to conclusions. Not behind every look or behind every gesture was what he was thinking about. So he set off on his way to his father to free him from Emilie.

His father had Emilie in his arms and stood together with Clement and some other friends from town. Adam had to grin. Of course they hadn't cancelled the contract. On that day two weeks ago they had to vent their displeasure. His father, that Joe had come home in this condition and Adam because of the rage about himself that he had lost his self-control. By the next day they could both talk in a normal tone about the events on Friday night. Certainly it was also because Adam was very balanced and happy. The dispute with Bridget had been settled, and since his wife had brought the children to her mother and Giovanna in spite of the events, they could still spend the afternoon at the lake. As the weather was so nice, they had decided to stay there the whole night and not go to town for dancing. His smile grew even bigger when he thought of the hours at the lake. There she didn't slap away his hand when he touched her after seeing a shooting star. Bridget had cursed pretty much the next day because her back was so sore, so she told him again very clearly that she would never stay with him in a tipi. But quickly he could distract her and her mood changed instantly. On the way back, she said that if they kept on going like that in future, they would have to add more rooms to the house.

Adam hadn't reached his father yet, when his daughter stretched out her arms. With a proud look, Ben handed him Emilie who immediately began to babble, putting her arms around his neck."Are you bringing her into the house to tuck her in?"

"She'll get something to eat and then I'll lay her down. I think she'll be fast asleep, because she has skipped her nap today. That's why I'm surprised that she isn't grumpy, but is still in such a good mood."

Clement caressed his granddaughter's back. "Because her two grandfathers know exactly how to keep such a young lady happy."

"And you always say, I spoil her too much."

The rest of the small group couldn't resist a smile as Ben and Clement spoke in unison, "Of course, you do."

Adam looked at his daughter and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Let them talk, my little princess. They are only envious that I have such a pretty daughter and they don't."

Behind him he heard a clearing and he realized what he had just said. Without turning around, he went on. "Except your mother and your aunts, of course."

He hurriedly made his way into the house.

XX

"You look a bit tired."

Adam stood behind Bridget and put his hands on her belly. She leaned against him and closed her eyes briefly. "Thank you for looking after Emilie. I don't know what's going on today. Somehow I feel I'm not really totally awake."

He tenderly stroked her belly. "You should sit down and rest. Think about what happened during your pregnancy with Emilie. "

"But then I wasn't so done so early."

Again he stroked her belly. "Well, I doubt this belly is the result of your punishment at school. Couldn't it have happened before?"

When she smiled she held his hands tightly. "You can believe me, I know that this is the result of the punishment. Our girl is just a little different from Emilie and so the belly looks bigger. "

"Boy…"

She grinned. "It'll be a girl, you'll see."

When he gave her a kiss on the hair, he held her a little closer and whispered to her softly. "I love you and ... .. our boy."

With her elbow she gently nudged into his side. "I think I'm going home and I'm going to have a little rest." 

When he turned her around, he looked at her worried. "I can get all the children, and we can go home together."

"No, you needn't do that."

She put her hand on his arm. "I'm feeling fine, and the kids just have so much fun with their friends."

They both looked to the barn in front of which their children, Riccardo, Tyler, and a few other children, were holding a contest with Riccardo's bow, who could hit the most cans. "But I feel uncomfortable when I let you go home alone now."

Bridget leaned against his chest. Immediately he put his arms around her. "Then I'll sit down and have a drink, maybe I'll feel better then."

Adam shook his head. "You'll sit down and we'll all go home together in half an hour. I'm only talking with Emillia if our princess can sleep here today. Then we don't need to wake her."

For a little while she still remained in his arm and enjoyed as he gently stroked her back. Then Adam took her to a chair and brought her something to drink. After talking to Emillia he was still detained by Tom's brother, who wanted to talk with him about the new horses. During the conversation, he looked at Bridget now and then, and gradually he got the feeling that he hadn't mistaken what he had seen earlier, and he was right with his guess. Only in passing, he followed Wayne's words. That's why he was quite startled when Koko touched him on the back. "Adam, I've heard, Bridget doesn't feel so well and you want to go home?"

Without taking his eyes from Bridget, he nodded. "She's a little tired and even if she gets along much better with her pregnancy this time I'm still thinking with horror of the last."

"You don't have to worry. She has just been on her feet for too long. I'll make you a suggestion. Since Nick is about to wake up and wants to be fed, I'll bring Bridget home, and you can come back later with Hoss and the children. So you can still talk to Wayne."

With his head cocked, he looked at her. "Koko, ..."

"No Adam, please! ... I like doing it, and I can then fix her some tea. You'll see, tomorrow she'll be fine again." 

Gratefully he looked at her and gave her a kiss on the cheek and then continued to speak to Wayne about the horses.

XXX

Most people danced as Adam joined him. He had waited so long until he was sure he could talk to him undisturbed. "Hello Adam. We both still haven't talked today."

Adam didn't look at him as he spoke. "I've deliberately not been looking for you before."

Astonished Curt turned his head to the left and looked at Adam from the side. "Am I wrong or could it be that you're a bit angry with me?"

"You're not wrong."

Now Curt stood sideways to Adam. "You don't really want to complain about the fact that I couldn't give Bernardo a better grade in the last test? He still makes too many mistakes in grammar. "

"No, I didn't want to talk to you about that."

"And what is it then?"

Slowly Adam turned around and Curt had to swallow when he saw Adam's cold eyes. "I think I have to remind you once again that Bridget is married. To me!"

With a slightly arrogant smile, Curt crossed his arms. "I haven't forgotten that."

Adam's eyes hadn't changed but after the reaction of Curt, Adam also tensed his entire body. He hadn't the impression that Curt felt uncomfortable that he had noticed his behavior. On the contrary, he seemed to enjoy it. "Then I would advise you to change your attitude towards her quickly, or else you can look for a different place in another town for winter, ... that's if you can talk again."

Curt glanced at him, but Adam didn't look down. "She never told you that you're just a substitute for me?" 

"Ridiculous!"

"Oh no, Adam. On the day of my wedding she cried her heart out. Why do you think she wanted me to take the job here?"

Adam took a step closer to Curt. "Whatever you expect, you should immediately forget."

"Why, Adam? I've got more in common with her than you. What could she do with a cowboy? Even if you studied in Boston you're no match for me, and she knows that."

He began to grin at Adam arrogantly. "You're just on the road with your cattle and Bridget isn't a woman who likes to be alone. ... You shouldn't be so sure YOU will become a dad soon."

This grin and the words had made Adam forget in a split second what he had learned from Amarok in all these years. The wrong wolf leaped out so fast that even Curt was quite surprised by the reaction. Of course, he hadn't expected Adam to put up with his behavior and his style but that he was going to attack him like that, he hadn't guessed. Adam had such a momentum that when he grabbed Curt by the collar, he stumbled with him towards the tables. There he pressed the teacher with his back against a table. "If I see you again near her only the angels will be going to see your stupid grin."

Curt's eyes moved from left to right, and he noticed more and more guests peering at them. He spoke so softly that only Adam could hear. "Does her skin still feel so soft?"

With a jerk, Adam pulled Curt to the legs and gave him a violent blow to his chin. Instantly, Curt tipped backwards. When Adam tried to pull him back, he was held back by Hoss. "Let go of me, Hoss!"

"Adam, stop it!"

His father looked at him angrily, but also quite puzzled, as he helped up Curt, who rubbed his chin and looked at Adam. "Excuse me, Mr. Cartwright, but I, too, wouldn't have thought your son couldn't handle criticism."

Promptly, Adam tried to get out of Hoss' grip who immediately increased the pressure. Ben's head went back and forth between his son and the teacher. "Adam, can you explain your impossible behavior to me?"

Adam didn't answer but looked at Curt. "Mr. Cartwright, I think Adam feels a bit unpleasant to talk about it. We had only a small disagreement about Bernardo's last test."

Adam's cheekbones twitched but he still said nothing. More and more of the guests gathered to see what had happened. Ben slapped Curt's arm and tried to smile.

"I also think that this is only a misunderstanding, which we can clarify in the next few days. Let's enjoy the evening again. Mr. Winfield, I think we should remember that we both wanted to talk about a larger school building. You can get two glasses of punch, and I'll be right there."

Curt brushed the dust off of his clothes and nodded. Then he passed Adam, put his hand on his shoulder, and smiled at him pityingly. "Adam, we'll find a solution to the little problem. I'm sure."

Again Adam tried to squirm from the grip of his brother without success. As soon as Curt was out of earshot, Ben stood in front of his son. "What's that all about, Adam? I get more and more the impression that you forget how to behave. Is the whole matter too much for you?"

Ben didn't wait for an answer, but went to the teacher. "You can let go of me, Hoss."

"But you won't go for Mr. Winfield, will you?"

It was only a hum that Hoss heard, but he assumed that it had been a yes, and so he broke his grip. With a rather dark glare, Adam looked in the direction of Curt. "Will you tell me what's going on between you two? It's not just about a school grade?"

"No Hoss, that wasn't it. But I don't assume that we're going to have the new teacher for a very long time."  
His brother looked at him questioningly. "Let's get the kids and go home."


	82. Chapter 82

"May I come in?"

"Of course."  
Without raising his head, Adam waved Frederic in. His friend sat on the chair opposite him and smiled. "Is it getting too much for you?"

Adam leaned back and threw the pencil on the table. He rubbed his right eye with his palm. "I'd be lying if I said that at the moment it was easy. Just now it's before Fall and Joe's far from being good enough that I can send him out alone."

"And your father? Is he still standing behind you when you work at the books?"

Softly Adam laughed. "He's trying to make it a little more unobtrusive, but a leopard can't change its spots, and honestly, I still need him. I cannot do the office and then watch out to ensure everything's done right. Since you're insisting on sending your son to school, I still have to wait for him."

Frederic laughed. "If it were up to Riccardo, he would leave school right away. Adam, you look really done."

Adam closed his eyes. "This isn't just because of the work you have at the moment?"

"I'm sleeping a little less at the moment."

"Less? That would mean, not at all."

Adam crossed his arms behind his head. "Chesmu's unwell and doesn't sleep so well and Emilie's waking up in the night anyway."

Frederic's face became serious. "I thought Bridget was doing better?"

With a deep sigh, Adam lowered his arms. "If you ask her, she'll say everything's all right, but she's pretty much struggling with getting air, and she's tiring quickly. By day, fortunately, there is always Giovanna or her mother and Emillia and in the night I try to take on a lot for her, but I think it won't get better until January."

"When I look at my sister I doubt you will have to wait till January."

Adam had to grin again. "She's convinced that it's only in January, but I'm not so sure."  
Then he became serious again. "I hope it'll be easier for her this time and won't take so long."

"Well, she'll get over it in a good three months, or even sooner."  
With his hand, Adam ran over his face. "Koko says I'm just too worried and she's probably right. It's hard for me if I cannot help her."

"Then I'll just divert you by talking about our business baby. How far did you come? Have you already picked the exact route with Mr Tanner? For gradually we should know how many mountains we must pass through."

With both hands, Adam pushed away from the table, got up and went to the models. "Before we talk about mountains here I have the model of the building in Carson City. You can take it with you when you're going to talk with those responsible next week."

Frederic stood up and joined his friend. "That's good. I think they will be impressed. Now only Nevada has to become independent."

Adam took a role from the corner and handed it to Frederic. "Here you have the drawings. Just convince them to erect the building. Tell them about the many settlers who are coming because of the new gold finds and that the town will definitely increase."

With a smile, Frederic put the role next to the model. "Don't you prefer to keep the appointment next week? You'll certainly find the right words to sell them everything."

"I'm building the models and drawings and you take care of the construction sites."

In vain Frederic tried to look at him insulted, but couldn't quite hide his grin. "I have to work alone. I don't have such a hard-working hand as you have."

Laughing, Adam slapped his friend's back and returned to his table. "Has Riccardo complained that his friend Bernardo so often helps me?"

"He didn't. I'm complaining."

Adam looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Shall I send you Aiyana, so she can help you?"

"Very funny, Adam. No, seriously. What about the student who wanted to work with us? Will he come later this year or just after next Summer? Because we don't need to rent the office in the city before."

"He's supposed to arrive here in Virginia this Spring. Then he would have a few months to get used to life here until we start with the first work in the mountains next Summer."

"You mean, next Summer you will have solved all the problems you're still facing?"

With a mass of papers in hand Adam looked at him tired. "I have to. Otherwise we can't keep the schedule. I'm in touch with some engineers in England and I think we'll be able to sort out the last questions with them."

Amazed, Frederic took some of the papers that Adam had held out to him. "Why don't you talk to the engineers here?"

Adam tilted his head. "Do I really have to answer that question?"

Frederic raised a hand. "Sorry, how could I forget? They work for the railway company and therefore you won't get in touch with them."

The nod of his friend was enough. So Frederic put the papers back on the table and was just about to get up when Chesmu came running into the office. He stretched out his hands with his small cuddle pillow. Adam took him on his lap and stroked his head. His son leaned against him and held his pillow tightly.  
"What's wrong with him, Adam? He looks pretty pale."

"He has been feverish for a few days and complains of a sore throat. And feeling him right now, the fever seems to have risen again."  
Adam stood up with Chesmu in his arm. "Frederic, can you please tell Giovanna to make a tea for Chesmu? She already knows which one. Meanwhile I will tuck the little man in."

When Adam walked past him with Chesmu, Frederic stroked his nephew's back.

XXX

With a slight smirk, Tom shut the door extra loud. Instantly Adam was startled and looked around in amazement. "Buddy, I think you're getting really old now. I've never seen you fall asleep in the middle of the day and in my office."

Adam turned in the chair to face his friend. "I haven't slept, I waiting for you and thinking."

"Thinking? Of course."

Tom poured them both a cup of coffee and handed one to Adam. "What brings you here, Buddy? It can't be boredom. Actually you have enough to do in Fall."

Adam took a sip, wondering how to explain his wish to his friend. He couldn't really understand the whole thing anyway. Curt had avoided him after the incident at the Summer party. Of course, the next day, Bridget had asked him what had happened between him and her friend after she'd heard from the kids that the two had been up to a fight. Because Adam hadn't told her everything, she was pretty angry with him that he had overreacted in his jealousy and he had certainly misinterpreted the looks of Curt. She didn't notice that Curt hadn't behaved correctly. Adam didn't want to go into details of the conversation with Curt and so he took it that Bridget was angry with him. But he had intended to have a special eye on the teacher because he assumed there was something fishy going on. He scratched his ear a little embarrassed. "I wanted to ask you what you think of Curt Winfield?"

As he drank the coffee Tom's eyebrows rose. "Will I finally learn what happened at your Summer party?"

As so often with Adam, when he was busy with a problem, it took a while until Tom got an answer. "We had a small disagreement about Bridget."

"It must have been more than a small disagreement for you to have so lost control. As Sybil told me you were more than a little upset."

Tom's eyebrows rose again, when his friend looked at him rather coolly. Then Adam stood up and went to the window. "He told me very clearly that Bridget belongs to him and as I will see, he will do everything to achieve his goal."

Tom would have told anyone else that he was just imagining that. But with Adam, he was pretty sure that he wouldn't just claim such a thing. "Since I'm not only your friend but also the Sheriff, it would be very helpful for me if you told me exactly what he said to you."

Slowly Adam turned to his friend. "Tom, I want what I'll tell you to remain among the two of us. I don't want Bridget to be unnecessarily upset. Even if she denies it, she's not doing so well. In addition, Chesmu has been sick for a week and still isn't getting any better. I don't know how she would handle it if she heard that from Curt."

"Everything you tell me will stay here in this room, I certainly won't tell Bridget about it."

Before Adam started he put his hand on his mouth and looked at his friend. Then he told him what had happened at the Summer party. Tom's reaction was a gentle whistle, then he looked out of the window to let the words sink in. His views still directed at the street, Tom found his voice again. "I wouldn't have expected that from good old Mr Winfield."

At first it were only the eyes that wandered to Adam, then Tom turned to him. "Buddy from what you've told me, you shouldn't underestimate this guy. It looks like he's trying to play a very nasty game. Don't let this happen. I assume that he intends to leave you looking bad in front of Bridget and probably not only in front of her."

"Will you help me?"

Adam had leaned against the desk, with his arms crossed, he looked seriously at his friend. "What do you expect me to do? Certainly not that I lock him up for no reason."

"No, but I was hoping you might ask in New York if there's anything against him, or how his wife died."

Tom breathed a sigh of relief. "You don't think that he has planned it?"

Gently, Adam shook his head. "I can't imagine that. For he couldn't know that we were looking for a new teacher, and Bridget didn't write him until she heard from another college colleague that Curt lost his wife and didn't go to England."

Both friends were silent for a while, then Tom went to his desk and sat down in his chair. "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise you anything Buddy."

"Thank you, Tom. That's all I wanted."

Adam was leaving the office when Tom called after him. "Adam, don't let him provoke you. Try to avoid being alone with him. "

Both hands clenched to a fist Adam nodded. "I'll try, Tom."

XX

"You look as if you have to make a serious decision son."

Adam looked up at his father, who was standing in front of the desk. Today was another day when Adam wondered whether it wouldn't be better to take all the papers concerning the Ponderosa to his home so that he could work the business in peace. All day his father had been roaming around the living room, trying to keep looking at what Adam was working on. "Yes, I have to make the decision whether I will take you to the door to get you out or whether I'm going to throw you out of the window."

First Ben's eyes grew wide, then he slowly put his hands akimbo and he spoke markedly slowly to his son. "I don't think it's appropriate to talk to me in this tone just because I asked you a simple question."

With his hands folded in front of his mouth Adam looked at his father seriously. Then he slowly lowered his hands and tried to put on a friendly face. "Pa, but I cannot work in peace when you sneak around me all day. Are you afraid I will sell the Ponderosa all of a sudden?"

Now Ben looked more kindly at his son. "I'm sorry, Adam. I have to get used to having more time on my hands. But Emillia is down at Bridget's and Clement is in Reno for a few days." He shrugged. "And since the children are all still in school ..."

Adam could only shake his head. "And now you don't know what to do."

"Bad?"

"No, not bad, but exhausting for me trying to concentrate from now on."  
Adam got up and went around the desk to his father. "Pa, why don't you help outside? I told you that I don't have a problem when you continue working at the ranch. Quite the contrary. I'm glad if you have an eye on whether everything is done in our favour."

Ben put his hand on Adam's shoulder and then looked at some letters lying on the table. "In your favour, Adam. Always remember, it's yours now. No, Adam. As I told you, I will only help you again starting next Spring. The men should get used to the fact that you're the boss now and make all the decisions. Especially Little Joe has to learn that he doesn't always have to come to me to ask if that's the right thing to do."

Amazed, Adam looked at him. "He still does?"

"Every now and then."  
Curiously, Ben took one of the letters in his hand and looked at it more closely. Then he tried to look at Adam as unbiased as possible. "Can you give me the reason why you didn't accept the offer? As I understood it they would be willing to pay even more."

Before answering his father, Adam put his hand on the snake, trying to stay calm. "I have no intention of doing business with the army. They could offer double for the horses. I would still say no."

"Adam, ... I've told you before, you cannot run the ranch if you don't let go of the past."

His head lowered briefly and his hand on his forehead, Adam still tried to stay calm. "Past, Pa? The problems between the Indians and us are still very present. Nothing has changed and I won't sell horses to the army for them to turn around and use them to invade the next village."

Angrily Ben let the letter drop on the table. "What's this double standard, Adam? You also sell timber to the settlers. They live on the land that had previously belonged to the Indians. Is that something different?"

"Yes, Pa, that's different. I wasn't involved in the expulsion. I couldn't prevent it either. It has already happened and I cannot change it anymore. Believe me, it's very hard for me to find the right way to do business in this world without betraying my other world. I certainly cannot always make the right decision, but I try."

Adam's eyes followed his father as he went to the stairs and gathered himself. "But it would bring you a lot of money if you sold the horses to the army. Or do you want to run the Ponderosa like Hoss runs the farm? Then you should start saving some money to get your not so small family over winter."

It took Adam a lot of strength to remain calm. He was wondering how he had managed to hold back the wrong wolf despite Curt, the concern for Chesmu and Bridget, the lack of sleep and the workload. If, however, he didn't soon find the time to go to the mountain, he was sure that it wouldn't be long before it broke ground. Then it would be the wrong person who was affected. "I don't worry about that. I have enough customers for our horses. It has been spread that we haven't only excellent timber, but also excellent horses. In addition, I bought two silvermines with Tom and I expect that they will earn us enough."

Amazed, Ben looked at him. "Tom and you? Why didn't you buy them on behalf of the Ponderosa?"

Adam breathed deeply. "Since the Ponderosa now belongs to me I try to keep some things apart. The ranch stands for the cattle, horses and the timber. Tom and I are working with our money we got through our land. If the business with the silver mine is going to be a loss business then it isn't at the expense of the ranch."  
Adam pointed to the desk. "Do you want to check the other stuff as well? Are you afraid I can't pay off your share every month?"

Ben couldn't answer because at that moment there was a knocking at the door. With a last angry glare, Ben looked at his son and opened the front door. "Mr Doohan, come in. What brings you out here?"

Ben stepped aside and let Dianne's father in. He took off his hat and stopped in front of the settee, greeting Adam with a nod. "Mr Cartwright, I must admit, if my wife hadn't stopped me, I would have come to you last week but I wouldn't have been as calm as I am now."

Ben looked at Adam and then returned to Mr Doohan. "I cannot imagine how we might have annoyed you." 

You couldn't only see, but also feel how much Mr Doohan had to pull himself together to stay calm. "It's about your son."

Immediately Ben starred at Adam, who was looking at the ceiling as he saw his father's gaze. Adam wondered if his father would someday not always think of him when someone came to complain. "Mr Cartwright, I am a man with a lot of patience and I try to only interfere when it really has to be done. But I can't help it concerning your son. Here I have to draw a limit before it's too late."

Adam crossed his arms and tried not to look at his father who was still glaring at him. "Mr Doohan, I assume that Adam had a reason for his actions, that ..."

"Mr Cartwright, I'm not talking about Adam but of Little Joe."

Adam slowly lowered his arms. He already knew what Mr Doohan was so upset about. Already at the Summer party Adam had talked again to his brother after seeing him with Dianne. Perhaps he would rather talk to Doohan's daughter that she should finally steer clear of Little Joe until she was old enough to understand that Joe wasn't yet planning to stay with a girl for a long time.

"Little Joe? What did he do?"

"So far he hasn't done anything and that's why I'm here. I don't want Joe to meet Dianne."

At first Ben didn't know what to say because he hadn't even known that the two had ever met. "Mr Doohan, I think Joe and Dianne are old enough and ... "

"Mr Cartwright, my daughter is fifteen and has been keeping an eye on your son for years. Unfortunately, he has already taken advantage of it several times. Last time, my daughter was unresponsive for over a week because Little Joe had hurt her so much and I don't want that to happen again."

With a pleading look Ben glanced at Adam, but his son just looked down and shook his head. "I know Little Joe doesn't always find the right words but I don't think he would intentionally hurt a girl. The two are still very young. It could have been a misunderstanding."

Now Mr Doohan was getting louder. "I think you can't misunderstand anything. Your son likes to meet with other girls every other week to tell them something about them being his one and only love. But with my daughter he did this only once. The second time I won't just watch. If you don't tell him his limits, I will do it, but in my own way. Even if he's only seventeen."

Dianne's father took his hat and left the house without saying goodbye. In disbelief Ben put his hands akimbo and looked from the door to Adam. "Adam, do you know what Mr Doohan is talking about? What has your brother done?"

Embarrassed Adam rubbed his neck. "I think Little Joe doesn't take it too seriously when he goes out with a girl."

"What does that mean? Could you please get to the point?"

Adam put his hands in his pockets and tried to look at his father innocently. "What Mr Doohan said. Little Joe doesn't like to go out with only one girl. And well, he's at an age now when not all fathers are going to find that so funny. You know Little Joe. When he kisses a girl he doesn't worry about the possible consequences."

Ben slammed the door shut. "I thought you talked to him about the subject?"

Adam took his hands out of his pockets and couldn't restrain his anger any longer. "Will you blame me now for Joe's behavior? It would actually have been your job to talk to him and not mine."

"Yes, in hindsight it would have been better, but I had no idea that you also haven't always been so exemplary in your attitude towards the ladies."

Looking at his necklace, Adam breathed deeply. Then he raised his head, looked briefly at the desk, then went to the dresser taking his belt and hat. "Pa, I think we're going to have this talk this afternoon. I'm going home now and see if I can help Bridget preparing the meal."

"You can plain say that you want to run away. Because since Emillia is at your home and certainly also Cholette, Bridget won't need any help. "

Adam quickly closed the door behind him. He didn't want to give the wrong wolf an opportunity to step into action.

XX

He threw the hat and belt onto the chair and fell with a faint moan onto the settee. He glanced around. As no one was there, Adam laid his feet on the table and closed his eyes. He had led Sport back home to get some rest on the way. It would have been wrong to stay longer with his father. Then a real dispute would have flared up without being necessary. So Adam would simply use the hour till lunch here on the settee to rest a little. Also that night Chesmu had slept very badly and had been awake often. Adam had then put himself to bed with him, which had apparently calmed Chesmu. As soon as Adam slowly relaxed he felt someone climb onto the sofa. He opened his eyes. Chesmu crouched with his cuddle pillow beside him and looked at him with small eyes. "Was it lonely in your bed?"  
Chesmu just nodded slightly. "Well, come here."

Adam took his son on his lap. He put his head to Adam's chest and pressed his pillow tightly. "Then we will both sleep down here a little till our food is prepared."

When Adam put his arms around Chesmu he was already asleep and Adam closed his eyes again. However, after a short while, he noticed how a blanket was laid over him and Chesmu. This time, he opened just one eye and immediately began to smile.

"I didn't want to wake you." Bridget sat next to him and leaned against his shoulder.

"You didn't. I just had to think about something. "  
Worried, he stroked Chesmu's head. "He has a fever again."

"Paul has said he has a pretty strong throat infection. When he wakes up I give him a juice that the shaman has made for him."

"Paul was here?"  
He looked obliquely at her. "Because of Chesmu or because of you?"

She slightly rolled her eyes. "Adam, I'm fine. Please don't worry so much."

He had to laugh softly. "I will remind you again, if you don't know how to stand or lie."

She leaned back on him. "He was here because of Chesmu. Adam, like you, I also trust the shaman, but Paul told me in Spring that we should be careful if Aiyana or Chesmu were to get sick. We should let him know immediately."

"Why?" Adam stroked Chesmu's hair.

"Since we have more than one child with an Indian descent in the family Paul has been talking to a colleague who has been busy with the Indians. Then he talked to me. Adam, especially Chesmu and Aiyana had never been in contact with the people from town before. So they don't know most of the diseases that are common to us. As Paul explained to me, many Indians have died when the first settlers came to this land. Even today it's still so. Their bodies cannot fight a lot of diseases that aren't so bad for us."

Adam turned his head and sat down straight, so that Bridget had to adjust her position as well. "What do you want to tell me now? That Chesmu ... "

He looked at his son who slept on his chest and snored softly. Reassuring Bridget put her hand on his arm. "We should just take care and as soon as he gets worse, send for Paul. He thinks it's important that he gets back on his feet before Winter. Otherwise, a simple cold could end badly for him."

Unconsciously, Adam held Chesmu tighter. Then he gave him a kiss on his hair. "Adam, he manages that. He's very strong like Aiyana. Because they had contact with so many children very early his chances are quite good that we will get him through the Winter."

"You're trying to calm me down so I don't worry too much."

"You can't blame me for trying."

He held Chesmu with one arm, the other he put around Bridget. "It's too late for that."  
He paused. "After all what he's been through, he can't die of a harmless cold."

"He won't. I'm confident that he will recover quickly. It's good for him to be with you at night, to let him sleep in your arms, just like now. I've got a feeling that reminds him of the time with you in the small cave. He feels safe with you and is calmer then."

Adam leaned his head back and tried to push aside the many negative thoughts that were racing through his mind. He tried to suppress the rage that was just rising in him. The rage on Kajika. What he had caused with his decision. Not only that his tribe didn't exist any longer but also what it meant to Aiyana and Chesmu being unable to be with their family and what they had to experience because of him in their first years of life. What the captivity at the Indians meant for him, Adam actually preferred not to think about. Although his back had calmed down the last few months since the cattle drive, he knew exactly when he would overdo, even only slightly, for the pain and the impacts would be back again. He had become accustomed to the numbness in his hand but if Chesmu were to die just because he had taken him into his world he wouldn't know how to deal with this guilt.  
"What did Paul say to you?"

Adam hadn't lowered his head, but kept looking at the ceiling.  
"You know Paul. I'm supposed to go on slowly and drink Koko's tea." 

He gently stroked her shoulder. "And what did he really say?"

He noticed how she hesitated before she answered him. "Like you he just doesn't expect us having to wait until January."

"And?"

He still avoided sitting down properly. He didn't want to look into Bridget's eyes. He knew her too well not to know that she wouldn't tell him everything, should there be something that would worry him. "Even this time it could be not so easy. I should rest more so that we might make it into the new year."

He could almost feel the twitching of his cheekbones as he was well aware that she hadn't told him everything, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't want to worry about her alongside Chesmu. He could see in his mind how more and more stones laid on his wall. Then he looked forward again. "Where's Emilie?"

"She's with my mother and Emillia on a walk."

With a deep breath, he sat straight. "Should I bring Chesmu up or let him sleep here?" 

As Bridget sat down straight she looked Adam in the eyes. "You can leave him here. He won't stay up in his bed anyway, if you're not with him. Adam, ..." She took his hand. "... don't build it too high. It's gonna be alright. You'll see."

Adam tried to smile at her, but he didn't really succeed. So he put Chesmu on the settee and covered him. Then he stood before Bridget, put his hands next to her on the back of the settee and bent down to her. "Please, take care of yourself and promise me you will not do so much."

"I'm hardly doing anything now."

He gave her a kiss and then put his forehead against hers. "I don't know how often I can get through this with you."  
Laughing, Bridget gave him a kiss. "I'll remind you in due course. Now, help me get up so I can take care of lunch."

"No, you stay here, and I'll do that. For me it's not worth going out again or doing any work in the office. I'll make you a cup of tea, and you'll have a rest."

With her hand on his cheek she looked at him tenderly. "I love you, Adam."

XX

"I didn't know your grandfather wanted to pick you up today."

Aiyana and Sarah turned around and saw Ben just get off his horse walking toward them. Aiyana looked back at Tyler. "My father didn't tell us either."  
She looked worried at Ben. "I hope Chesmu isn't doing worse again."

"Pa, what are you doing here?"

Ben greeted the children and laid his hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Can't your father pick you up from school?"  
The children looked at him questioningly. "As it seems, I have to do this more often."

He shook his head. "No, I had something to do in town and thought that I could ride home together with you. Where's Bernardo? He didn't leave on his own?"

"He's still with Mr Winfield."

Immediately Ben looked at Aiyana surprised. "Did he do something wrong?"

"No. He always gets extra tasks from Mr Winfield so he can improve."

With a satisfied face Ben looked at the schoolhouse. I t seemed, they had found a good substitute for Mr Conner. "You get along well with your new teacher, don't you? I have already heard that he's very concerned about you so that you can follow the lessons well."

As Ben continued to look to the schoolhouse, he couldn't see how Aiyana and Sarah looked at each other. "Yes, he cares a lot about us, Pa."

"That pleases me. Well, I'll go and ask how long Bernardo will need. Please wait here."

The girls watched Ben going to the schoolhouse. "Why didn't you tell lalá Ben that Mr Winfield's eyes and his mouth don't speak the same language?"

Sarah shrugged. "You know him. He doesn't understand when I talk to him this way. You didn't even tell Wynono, though he'd understand."

"He would understand my words, but when he asks me why this is so I could tell him nothing definite. It's just a feeling and surely Até would only think I'm saying that because he's been fighting with Mr Winfield at the Summer party. In addition, Mamà would surely get upset if there was a new dispute between Mr Winfield and Até. She was pretty angry with him then."

"You could tell that he's a bit too eager. They all notice that."

Riccardo nudged Tyler. "Yes, unfortunately they all know. Even if he doesn't take care of me as Aiyana and Bernardo, I cannot stand him either. "

"Well, there's only one thing left ..." Tyler grinned. "..Aiyana must bewitch him."

XX

Quietly Ben entered the classroom. Bernardo stood in front of the desk and put a few sheets in his books. "Oh, Mr Cartwright. Do you want to pick up the children today?"

Mr Winfield had gotten up and went to Ben with an outstretched hand. "I happened to be in town today and I thought I could take the little gang with me. But I didn't want to disturb. If you're still busy with Bernardo ... "

Smiling Curt looked at Bernardo. "No, we're done. I've given him only a few tasks so he can improve his grammar, even though he's gotten quite good. I think that he owes that to Bridget, who has worked so well with him."

"Yes, she's a good teacher. I'm feeling a bit torn whether I should be glad about the fact that she couldn't take over the job here permanently because of her children."  
Bernardo looked at his grandfather in amazement but he instantly smiled at him. "Bernardo, that was a joke. Of course I'm glad that Bridget is my daughter-in-law and cares so wonderfully about my grandchildren."

"Can I go out to the others?"

"Of course, son. I'll be right there. I will have only a brief discussion with Mr Winfield."

With a slight nod, Bernardo took leave of Mr Winfield and left the room. "A clever boy. If he continues his studies like this he will have good opportunities."

Ben looked after his grandson. "Yes, we're all glad that he has settled so well with us."

Then he turned back to Curt. "I talked to the school council. There's nothing against an enlargement of the school house. As the town is currently growing, more and more children will go to school in the near future, but this year we won't be able to start with the new building. Winter's coming and most of the people are now preparing for Thanksgiving."

"There's no hurry, Mr Cartwright. At the moment the rooms are still sufficient. But next year, we should tackle it and when Bridget can get back to school we can have two classes, if there are enough children."

Amazed, Ben raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know my daughter-in-law wanted to go back to work again?"

"Of course she wants to. That's why she was so pleased to hear that I didn't go to England. We had already talked in New York that we want to work together at a school later."

Still pretty surprised, Ben shook his head and wondered how Bridget and Adam wanted to get along without involving the entire family again. But he would be careful not to ask Adam because he would surely be told that he was interfering again in his life. "Then let's wait and see."

"I think the kids will be happy, too when she comes back."  
Curt grabbed his bag, took his hat and went outside with Ben. "Mr Cartwright, when I see your whole family I wonder how you are able to get them all at the table for Thanksgiving."

With a laugh, Ben looked first at the children and then at Curt. "It's indeed quite crowded and sometimes very loud, but I don't want to miss any of them. Even if I had to enlarge my dining room again so that everyone could sit at the table. What are your plans for Thanksgiving, Mr Winfield?"

They had now reached the group of children. "Nothing special. I'm going to make something fine for supper and then sit down with a good book in front of the fireplace." Mr Winfield looked slightly sad.

"You're alone for Thanksgiving?"

Curt shrugged and exhaled loudly. "I have no family here. I had only my wife and she ..."

He didn't speak any further and Ben looked at him resolutely. "That won't do. Then you will of course celebrate Thanksgiving with us."

"Mr Cartwright, I cannot accept. You're already having so many people."

"And that is why one more won't matter. Be at the Ponderosa by four. We look forward to seeing you."

Curt took Ben's hand and thanked him. "This is really nice. So I can talk to Bridget again. Now, that she mustn't come to town."

Ben slapped the teacher briefly on the shoulder. "Of course, she can go to town but it's getting a bit hard for Bridget, so she's avoiding it."

Curt shook his head and looked briefly at the children, then continued a little quieter. "No, as far as I know, your son didn't allow it since our ... little quarrel at the Summer party."  
The teacher was breathing deeply and waved his hand. "... But I think I can clarify that at Thanksgiving with him."

"I cannot imagine him doing anything like that, but anyway. I wouldn't like if there was any trouble."

"Don't worry, Mr Cartwright. I just caught your son unprepared that day. The most important thing we have already clarified, everything else time will bring."

They all had now reached the horses and Ben took the reins in his hand. "Then I'm looking forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving."

"The pleasure will be mine, Mr Cartwright."

XXX

They hadn't closed the door properly when Ben and Clement were already rushing up to Adam to take Emilie. Bridget shook her head, took off her jacket and turned to Adam. "And you wonder why I still want a girl?"

Adam took her jacket and shaking his head he looked at the two men who were trying to undress Emilie. "Believe me, they would argue nevertheless. That's why it'll be a boy."

"Of course. And before he can even talk you'll be pushing a lariat into his hand to be sure to make him a cowboy."

Adam just grinned, then helped Chesmu with his jacket. Aiyana and Bernardo had been here since the morning and had helped Sarah and the others with the preparations.

"Bridget, ... how nice to see you again."

Adam knelt before Chesmu and closed his eyes as he heard Curt's voice. Because of the children, he had learned quite early that he would be here too. During the last two days, whenever he had time, he had looked up to the mountains and tried to find his inner peace. In any case, he didn't want Curt to be able to provoke him again as at the Summer party. Adam put away Chesmu's jacket and then took him in the arm. "Good evening, Adam. Is the little man feeling better? He looks a bit green about the gills."

Because Adam had his son in his arms he could avoid shaking hands with Curt. "Good evening."  
He ignored Curt and looked at Bridget. "I'll see if Koko brought his tea."

Bridget looked at her husband fairly skeptically. "Yes, do that."

"Yes, Curt, he's quite all right. He's only done sometimes and clings more to Adam, but I think this will settle as well. But how are you? You haven't visited us for a long time. Do you have so much to do at school?"

He looked at her sadly. "... Yes, I have so much to do. "

"Curt, what's going on?"

He smiled at her and looked around. "It's all right, Bridget. Let's just spend the evening together."

She grabbed him by the arm. "Now, please tell me what's going on. This isn't still due to your childish quarrel at the Summer party?"

Again, Curt looked around to see if anyone was aware of what they were talking about. "Bridget, ... Adam and I have already clarified the matter. It's common that men can claim more rights than women."  
Completely blankly Bridget looked at her former classmate. "As I said, we've already clarified this and you don't have to worry. He just told me he'd like me to avoid visiting you at the moment. Especially when he's not there. You have to understand that. He has Koko as his girlfriend, but it's always different when a woman has a man as a best friend. Not everyone can be as good-natured as his brother Hoss."

"Curt, I can't imagine Adam saying that. You must have misunderstood him. But I'll talk to him."

At once he took her by the arm. "Please don't, Bridget. We don't want to have another quarrel just because of a misunderstanding. You're right. Surely I misunderstood him. I just want to have a nice evening with you and your family."

Still a bit puzzled she looked at Curt, but then she nodded. "Then I will welcome the rest of my family."

Later, they all sat together in the living room. Emilie, Nick, Travis and Fabio were already asleep in Adam's old room and Chesmu was sitting cuddling on Adam's lap while the other children played with Rusty outside.

Ben handed each of the men a glass of cognac and then sat down in his chair. "I'm glad that today we really had the whole family gathered here. Although, …. when I look around here, Adam, you shouldn't only have enlarged my dining room, but also the living room.  
I hope Little Joe will take his time to get married. Of course, you shouldn't take a leaf out of your brother's book and wait so long but please not as fast as your brother Hoss. Otherwise I don't know how to house all of you next year."

He raised the glass and toasted. "To my family, of whom I'm very proud. Of every single one."  
Silently they drank some sips. Then Ben looked at Mr Winfield. "Mr Winfield, I talked to Adam about the new schoolhouse. He will make some drawings in Winter and then discuss them with you."

"That's good news, Mr Cartwright. ... Adam, I didn't know you had time to do it. Not that Bridget complains to me because she doesn't even see you anymore."

Adam put his glass on the table. He hadn't drank any of it. He also didn't intend to drink a drop of alcohol today. He wanted to keep a clear head throughout the evening. That this was the right decision, he knew now. "The schoolhouse is no big project. Frederic and I can do that by the way. And if I really have too much to do, I'll send you Bernardo. He can explain the drawings to you so that you can understand them."

Adam didn't need to look at Bridget to know she was glaring at him very darkly. Curt smiled at him. "Yes, Bernardo is a clever boy. He certainly inherited that from his real father."

Not only Ben looked back and forth between the two men. For everyone in the room it was obvious that there was no deep friendship developping between the two. Before Adam could answer, Clement continued the conversation. "Ben, we thank you that we could spend this day with you. Cholette and I would be pleased if we could return the favor and you all celebrate Christmas with us. I also thought that, if the weather permits, we could go together to the midnight mass. We, a large, colorful family."

Adam couldn't help but grin at his father-in-law. "Are you already in the election campaign, Clement?"

With his hand on his chest, Clement tried to look horrified. "Adam, you don't mean to say I make use that so many different nations are in my family?"

"Of course not, Clement. Your new friends from politics still don't know that you want to support the rights of the Indians. But you're already aware that it takes some time to decide whether Nevada will become independent?"

"My dear son-in-law, you have to determine the course in time. Otherwise you'll lose the view of the road of life."

Amused both looked at each other.

"Bridget, I almost asked you if you'll come also to the midnight mass. But you probably don't want to undertake the outing. I also completely forgot that you have almost never been to church since you married Adam. How do you manage that he believes in a different god than you do? I actually thought that you had always liked to go to church, because you got in contact with other community members there, which you don't have anymore."

With a very compassionate look, Curt was waiting for a response from Bridget. Again Adam was glad that he was prepared for Curt and that Chesmu had fallen asleep in his lap. Otherwise, he would probably have grabbed Curt by the collar and kicked him out.

"Curt, you don't have to worry. Look around, I'm anything but lonely. I have a big family and Sybil also comes to visit me often. Surely, when the child is born, I will visit her again in town. As for Adam's faith, it's a good thing for Chesmu and Aiyana that they get to know both. Because they should never forget what their real heritage is, that's the centre of attention for Adam and I. Besides, I can live with one of the wisdoms of the Indians very well. Please correct me Adam if I don't quote it properly.

'The daybreak is a sacred event and thus, every day is sacred. You do not have to pick a day out of the seven of the week by pronouncing it a sacred day, for every day is God's day.'"

With a quick glance at Curt Adam bent to Bridget, gave her a kiss on her temple and put his arm around her. "That was perfect, sweetheart."

His eyes went back to Curt and Adam tried not to grin too arrogantly.

"Curt, if you're really interested in the culture and faith of the Gosiute, you should talk to Adam. What is it that Koko says so beautifully? He knows it almost better than the Gosiute themselves." 

"I'll sure do that, dear Bridget."

Curt took his glass and leaned back. For today, he wouldn't come out with any more remarks towards Adam. He didn't want Bridget to notice what he was up to. So he spent the evening with some little less profound discussions.


	83. Chapter 83

"Where's iná?"

Aiyana sat down at the table and looked at Adam questioningly.

"Your mother didn't get to sleep until early in the morning. That's why I didn't wake her. Therefore, don't be so loud when you go upstairs to get your school stuff."

With a wide grin, Aiyana looked at her plate and then began to speak in her language. "Bernardo, can you please give me the milk?"

Her brother's eyes went very small. He didn't understand much about the language of the Gosiute. The one of Aiyana's tribe was similar but it had a slightly different dialect. But what he had understood was the word milk and he knew a sentence with milk, which he had heard from Chesmu every now and then. He didn't know what it meant but since she wanted to annoy him, he could do it as well.

„Asáŋpi kiŋ oškúmna."

The milk that Chesmu was about to drink was immediately spat out and it spread across the table.

"Chesmu ...!"

Adam jumped up and looked at him aghast, while Aiyana began to laugh aloud and Bernardo looked embarrassed. Only Emilie continued to nibble on her bread unimpressed.

„éyaš até …."

Chesmu looked first at his father and then at Bernardo who still didn't know what he had just said to make Chesmu react that way. Desperately, he looked at Adam.

"Qué he dicho?"

Meanwhile, Adam had taken a cloth and started to wipe the milk up. Pausing he looked at his children. "Didn't your mother tell you that we talk at the table only in the language understood by everyone?"

"But she's not here and you understand us."

"Yes, I understand you and what about Emilie and Bernardo?"

Aiyana looked at her siblings and smiled slightly. "Well, Neisha learns it from Chesmu and me and Bernardo ..." Her grin grew wider again. "..has just proved how well he already mastered it."

"HIYA`"

Chesmu reached for the cup of milk that Emilie was about to drink.

"Kia?"

His sister looked at him with wide eyes and then at her father. Then she slammed slightly against her chest. "Mipi ..."

"Chesmu, why do you take your sister's milk away?"

"Because Bernardo says it has turned sour."

"I can't imagine ..."

Adam took the cup, tried a sip and shook his head. Then he gave his daughter her cup back. "... It tastes completely normal. What makes you say that, Bernardo?"

"I ... well, ..." His eyes went to Aiyana who was still grinning. He leaned back and lowered his head. "Excuse me, Dad. I did mistakes."

"Aiyana?"

His daughter tried not to grin any longer. But as this turned out to be very difficult she looked back at her plate. "I just asked Bernardo to give me the milk and he ..." Her eyes now looked at her brother and her grin grew bigger again. "... must, as it seems, have confused some words."

"Yes, we all got that."

Then he stroked Emilie's hair and exchanged her cup for another piece of bread.

"Até, can we celebrate the winter festival in the village next week?"

With his right hand, Adam scratched his left ear and thought. As the festival lasted for several days and because dances with snakes were also performed, Adam always tried to stay away from this ceremony. "It's a bit hard this year, because I wouldn't like to leave your mother on her own for so long. The baby could come at any time. But next year we can participate."

Aiyana's disappointment was obvious but then again she raised her head proudly. "You don't have to come. Koko's also there. She can take care of us."

"Us?"

"Well, Winona and Riccardo are coming and I would take Bernardo and Chesmu with me."

Adam couldn't hide his astonishment. "Lalá Ben allowed Winona to be part of the celebration?"

"Well, ..." Aiyana glanced up at the ceiling. ".. if I may and you talk to him ..."

Adam didn't need to think further. Bridget and he had intended to always allow the children to live their culture, including the celebrations in the village. "Bernardo, would you like to go to the celebration?"

The boy looked briefly at his sister. "If can, I'd rather be here home."

Somewhat sceptical Adam looked to his son. He wasn't surprised that he didn't want to go to the village, but the fact that Bernardo was making so many mistakes made him pensive. Should his son do that even in the next few days he might have to talk to Bernardo about the possible reason. "Of course you can stay here."

Then Adam looked at Chesmu. Him he would rather not let go because he didn't want him to catch a cold again but Koko and Bridget had warned him not to treat Chesmu with too much care. "Would you like to go to the village with your sister and Koko to join the winter celebration?"

Chesmu looked at his sister and then he shook his head lightly. It was plain to see how he was torn. So Adam smiled at him encouragingly. "It's all right, Chesmu. You don't have to feel bad just because you don't want to go. You know you can go to the village or Koko any time you want."

„Philámayaye até."

Chesmu continued his breakfast with a relieved face. Adam looked at his watch and moaned. Somehow he had misjudged time. "You gotta hurry now otherwise Riccardo and Winona will ride without you."

"Até, do you talk to Ben Lalá so Winona may come with us ...?" Then she spoke more quietly. "... And with lekší Frederic?"

With arms crossed, Adam leaned back and smiled at Aiyana. "As it looks, courage to talk with a strong bear and a beaver has left you?"

Aiyana stood up and put her hands akimbo and looked challenging at her father.

"No, but I think you are the brave warrior in our tribe, so you have to go to fight and I care lovingly ..." She put her hands on the shoulders of Chesmu and Emilie. "... for the children in our little village."

"Go – and make sure you get to school so you can take loving care of your maths but without Bernardo having to whisper to you."

Immediately Aiyana pulled a pout and looked at Bernardo who shrugged innocently. Then her eyes wandered to her father who looked at her grinning. "You didn't know that ..."

Adam didn't answer but kept on smiling at her. Before she took her sandwiches she embraced him and spoke softly in her own language. "Thanks Até, that you and Ma are there for us."

XXX

On the way to his father Adam wondered why he couldn't see Little Joe anywhere.

Actually he had the task of helping Tico to mend the horses' shelter and to work a bit with Bridget's horse. But he could see neither his brother nor Cochise.

"Adam, ... I didn't know you wanted to come over today ..." Ben had just left the house and was on his way to his horse. "How's Bridget today?"

"Unchanged. I think she's counting the days until she finally gets through."

Adam dismounted Sport and stood beside his horse. His father slapped him on the back and laughed. "Emillia and I assume that you'll be one more at Christmas."

Adam scratched his nose. "I'd wish. It's not easy to watch, as it gets more and more difficult every day for her to move and I cannot help her."

"Well son, ... what did you say to me once ...? You should have thought about that before."

With head tilted Adam tried to laugh when his father slapped him again on the back. "Well, did you want something important? Because I'm meeting with Clement."

Adam put his hand on his neck, then took a deep breath. "The children would like to take part at the Winter celebration in the village next week."

Ben, who was just about to get into the saddle, remained motionless. "Doesn't that go for three days?"

His lips squeezed, Adam nodded. "And you think I should leave Sarah in the village for three days?"

"Pa, it's not so cold and she will surely be on the move a lot. If you'd spent a night in a tipi you'd know it's very warm there."

"You allowed your children, of course."

With puffed-up cheeks, Adam looked aside and wished once more that a simple conversation with his father didn't always end up in a debate of principles. "Only Aiyana will participate. Chesmu and Bernardo will stay at home and Pa, ..." Adam raised his hand. "... before we start to argue about it, you know how important it is to us that Chesmu and Aiyana never forget where they come from. I just asked you a simple question because my daughter wants her best friends to join her at the celebration."

It wasn't hard to see how Ben had to swallow his next words. So he took the reins, looked at his son very intently and climbed into the saddle. "I'm going to discuss this with Emillia." He turned back to Adam who was still standing in front of his horse. "Are you still going to town today?"

"Yes, I have to go to the post office. You need something?"

"No, but if you stay until the end of school, you can tell Curt that Clement would be pleased if he came to dinner on the first holiday."

It took Adam a lot of strength to hold back the wrong wolf and not shout at his father. "Why is Curt invited? He doesn't belong to the family."

"What's wrong, Adam? What kind of problem do you have with Curt? He's not only a good teacher but also a good friend of Bridget. As far as I know there's nothing negative to be said about him. Quite the contrary. He's only praised to the skies and I'm very pleased. You know yourself how hard it is to find a good teacher. Especially one that acts according to your wishes."

Adam exhaled loudly and climbed into the saddle as well. "Maybe I'll be really lucky and the baby will come at Christmas."

"Adam, I heard that."

"And I don't have a problem with you hearing that and I certainly won't see Curt today."

He didn't wait for his father's answer but left the ranch at a gallop.

XXX

Adam couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Little Joe's horse standing in front of the livery stable. He slowly dismounted Sport and tied him next to Cochise. Quietly, he opened the door of the stable. He heard Joe's voice from the rear.

As at the last encounters with Dianne, she looked at Adam with huge eyes as he stood at the stall with arms crossed. When Joe saw the look on Dianne's face, he didn't need to turn around to know what was going on. With pretty red cheeks, Dianne took her jacket and went to pass Adam with her head bowed. He held her by the arm and tried not to look at her too angrily. "Dianne, I thought you understood me last week when I talked to you?"

She didn't look at him when she answered. "Yes, Mr Cartwright, but ..." Without looking at him, she looked briefly over her shoulder at Little Joe. "... he promised me that he will only go out with me."

"Dianne, how many times has Joe told you that in the past few years?"

Adam stumbled back a few steps as his brother pushed him away from Dianne with both hands.

"When will you finally stop interfering when I want to meet with a girl?"

His little brother stood before him and looked at him angrily. "When you start to keep away from THIS girl. Haven't Pa and I explained exactly why you shouldn't see her?"

"I'm old enough to decide for myself with whom I go out. When you were seventeen you went to Boston. No one has ever breathed down your neck and checked what you were doing."

"I haven't lied to the girls as much as you do."

Joe began to breathe faster. "I'm not lying to Dianne."

"Oh no, since when? Since five minutes?"

With one hand Adam held his nose, with the other he held Joe by the arm. Slowly he took his hand down and looked at the blood on his palm. Then his eyes wandered to his little brother who was looking at him very self-confidently. But with every second he realized what he just had done.

"Adam, ... I ... "

Joe's swallowing could be heard as far as the Ponderosa when he looked into Adam's eyes and noticed the twitching of the cheekbones. Already at Joe's blow Dianne had quickly left the stable without turning around again. She guessed that Little Joe was in deep trouble now.

Adam grabbed his brother by the collar and pushed him against the wall of the barn. His face was very close to that of his little brother. "When will you finally get that I just want to help you? But since you don't seem to want it I'm going to stay out of this story with Dianne from now on and wait for you to stand at my door because you've screwed it up again."

Even if Joe felt anything but comfortable, he looked at Adam very rebellious. "You won't experience that. Because I know what I'm doing. I don't need to marry a woman because I have to, like you did."

Again, Joe had to swallow as his brother pressed him even more against the wall. "You should pay attention to what you're saying, Little Joe. If I don't see you at the ranch at work when I come back, you can look for a place somewhere else. Then you won't be on my payroll anymore."

Adam let go of his brother and left the stable. He tried to calm down outside the door. He left Sport at the stable and went to the post office.

XXXXX

Still staggered, Adam kept looking at the letter. But the content didn't change even after the tenth time reading it. At the moment there was only one person in town who could possibly tell him what that letter meant. So Adam headed for the Sheriff's office.

Tom sat at his desk, his eyes wandering between the two sides of the letter which he had received today. He looked at the back several times hoping that there would be more and that this was just a very bad joke. He was still wondering what to do when the door was opened and Adam was standing in the doorway. Judging from his friend's face he had also received a letter from the office for Indian affairs. Adam slammed the door shut and looked at his friend with an anger as Tom had rarely seen with him. "As I see, you have also received a letter. Have you been up to a fight with Daniel from the post office? What happened?"

Adam's hand went to his nose. "That had nothing to do with the letter. Tom, can you please tell me what this is all about? Why do you have to make an investigation? I thought you wrote them that there is no concern?"

Briefly Tom looked again at the letter on his table and then stood up. "Adam, I don't know what's it all about. It looks like someone has told the agency that you aren't following the given rules."

Adam didn't need to think for long who might be behind it. There were still enough people who didn't like to see how much he was doing for the Indians and that he had adopted Aiyana and Chesmu. But it would have been a rather strange coincidence that one of them would run him down just now. "And I know exactly who is behind it."

"Adam, we cannot prove it. There are more people that don't like what you're doing and remember that you're very open that you live the culture of the Indians at home. May I remind you that you haven't been to church service for a long time and certainly you won't come to the midnight mass this year. Your children and you speak the language of the Gosiute not only at the ranch. And that you have rejected several teachers because they didn't share your opinion about the Indians is no secret as well. So I would ask you to be careful with what you say."

Adam had approached his friend very close. "In your opinion, should I just wait until someone from the agency appears here and checks me?"

"Please Adam, first of all you should calm down. At the moment noone will come. I should review the matter again and write a report and I will do exactly that."

With his hand before his eyes, Adam walked a few steps through the office. "You can't lie again, Tom. We both know you can't just write two sentences this time."

Adam took down his hand and turned to his friend. "Tom, what can happen to me or us if you write the truth?"

Instantly Tom looked down. He didn't want to look Adam in the eyes.

"Tom, ...?"

His friend kept looking at the floor. "If the allegations against you are correct, I shall lock you up for a few days until you are ready to sign that you are obeying the given rules from now on. If you continue to violate them, then they will take the kids away from you and put them in one of the public schools where they will be prepared for their later life twenty-four hours a day."

While talking, Tom had slowly raised his head and could look Adam right in the face. His friend stood before him and said nothing. No emotion was visible on his face. Not even his cheekbones twitched. "And what are you going to do now?"

"Certainly not lock you up."

"The one who wants to run me down will certainly tell the authority that you don't fulfil your duty."

Tom turned to his desk so that he was standing with his back to Adam. His voice was not as strong as usual. "When the time comes that I have to proceed against you in this matter I will lay the badge down."

None of the two friends moved or said a word. For a while, only the sounds of the road were to be heard. Tom winced as Adam slammed his letter on the table. "It won't come that far, Tom."

The Sheriff tilted his head slightly, looking into Adam's eyes. He nodded to him and left the office. Tom took a deep breath. Like Adam, he had no doubt that Curt had his fingers in the pie. But as long as he had no evidence he couldn't take action against the teacher. Not at all because he was very popular in town. Now Tom could understand how big the anger of Adam on Curt was. As it looked, this guy should be taken with a pinch of salt. The last time Tom had seen his friend with that face and that rage in his eyes was at the saloon, ... Tom didn't get any further with his thoughts. Startled, he glanced at the door. Then he didn't hesitate and ran out of his office. He caught up with Adam almost in front of the school. He grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards him. "Adam, don't mess up!"

"Tom, let go of me! I will put an end to it now!"

Adam wanted to tear himself away, but his friend reinforced the grip on Adam's arm. "You won't! This way you don't change any of the accusations."

"You can't stop me!"

With a jerk, Adam released his arm and went to grab his gun to go to the schoolhouse. But he didn't even manage to get his hand near the holster when Tom's fist met his face. At that moment his whole rage of the last weeks came to light. It wasn't long and a burly brawl was in progress between the two friends. It took Tom a lot of strength to give Adam such a blow that he had to stay on his knees longer to get some air again. Quickly Tom looked around, then grabbed his friend by the collar and pulled him to a barn not far from school. There he pushed him into a haystack and sat down beside him. Both men leaned back their heads and tried to get their breath back. They heard the first children leave the schoolhouse to go home. Without lifting his head up, Tom nudged his friend.

"Did you really want to shoot Curt before your children's eyes?"

It took quite a long time for Adam to give him an answer. "I cannot watch how he is going to destroy not only my life." Adam straightened and looked at his hands. "You can't abandon the badge just because that bastard is trying every means to get my wife."

Tom also straightened. "But it's pointless to shoot him! Not only that we need a new teacher then, but I would also have to hang you. Do you think that's what your family wants for Christmas?"

"But what am I supposed to do? You see by what means he works. It's not just about me. I must also think of Chesmu and Aiyana. I can't let it happen that they're taken away."

"This isn't going to happen. I think there are more people here who will help you than those who hate you for what you do."

"My father-in-law invited Curt for Christmas. I can't sit with him at a table and watch his stupid grin."

"Have you talked to Bridget about him?"

Several times Adam turned his wedding ring. "What should I tell her? I don't have any evidence against him. Just what he told me at the Summer party, but he will always deny that. And so far, I am the "evil" in this macabre game. You're saying yourself how popular he is with everyone. That's why I think I can tell whatever I want and it would sound ridiculous."

"Adam, stay out of his way and at Christmas ... try to grin and bear it. I know this is certainly easier said than done, but keep in mind Bridget loves you and is married to you. I can't imagine anything that can get you apart. Curt cannot put a wedge between you if you don't do something rash." Tom paused for a while and pushed his friend back with his elbow. "And with the Indian authorities we will find a solution. The last word isn't yet spoken. I guess they're busy with other things than taking care of two children here."

Again Adam leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling of the stable. "Tom, if I see him, with his arrogant smile, then I may just punch him. I can't go to the mountain as often as necessary to calm myself."

"Well, then you should go to Amarok to smoke a pipe."

Adam had to laugh. "At least I then can't remember when I've wringed the neck of that bug."

"What do you think about going to my place and having lunch, Buddy? Then we can also confess to Sybil why I look like this. Otherwise, she'll never believe me, that we both had a fight that makes us both look like this."

Tom stood up and held out his hand to his friend. Adam reached out and let himself be pulled up.

"Thank you for being my friend, Sheriff."

XXX

Adam was on his way home. Lunch at Tom's had done him good. His friend had encouraged him not to get so provoked, and always to remember that it would never come so far that Bridget would grab her things to run off with Curt.

Sybil had kept looking at them both, only shaking her head, after Tom and Adam had explained to her why they looked a little dishevelled. Adam just hoped that Bridget would see the matter as calm as the wife of his friend. Adam leaned forward to the neck of Sport. "Well, my friend? How about letting some steam off?"

Adam pulled his hat lower and galloped off. He hadn't come very far when Sport stopped suddenly and reared. The reaction of his horse came so quickly and so unexpectedly that Adam had no chance to stay in the saddle. In a high arc, he fell to the ground and was only glad that Sport didn't crash onto him. His horse reared up once more and then ran away in panic. Adam was lying on his back. Very carefully he moved, first his arms and then his legs. When getting up, a slight stab went through his back. He cautiously straightened up. Then he looked around but there was nothing to be seen of Sport. He wondered what could have scared his horse.

He walked back a little. A dead pheasant was lying on the ground. As it looked, Sport had hit him with his hooves. Surprised, Adam looked around. Not that it was unusual to encounter a pheasant but Adam really wondered that a single one appeared so suddenly that Sport could be scared that much. He looked around, then went to some larger bushes on the edge of the path. There was no need to kneel down to see the footprints that were behind the bush. Someone had to have been standing or perching behind the bush for quite a long time. Since Sport had surely run back to the ranch Adam went home. He wiped the blood from his forehead. Now he had to explain to Bridget not only the black eye, the demolished nose, but also a deep wound on the forehead. Adam wondered what else could still go wrong on this day.

His question was answered quite quickly. From a distance he could see Curt with Sport standing in front of his house. He took a deep breath. No way did he want to fight with the teacher here at his doorstep. "Adam, I just wanted to go in and ask if you're at home. My goodness, how you look? Don't you tell me you fell off your horse."

With his head slightly tilted and his arms crossed Adam stood face to face with his wife's friend. "But what bad luck I've survived. Ain't it true, Curt?"

"Of course, Adam. That would have been a great shock to poor Bridget, if she were suddenly to stand alone with the children."

Curt stroked Sport. "This is truly a wonderful horse, Adam. But I've heard you've had your problems with him now and then. You don't know how to handle him properly. So I've just ridden a bit with him and I have to admit I haven't got these problems."

"I doubt you could ride even one yard with him."

There it was again, this smile of Curt, which could make Adam livid with rage. But again he tried to remember Tom's words. That he should remain calm. "Since I'm home now your visit is superfluous and you can leave."

Once again Curt stroked Adam's horse. "I know, Adam, that you have some problems to educate your children properly, but fortunately I'm going to help you in this matter. Now you also have problems with your horse, so if you like, I can be of assistance there as well." Another arrogant smile. "And if you have problems with Bridget ..."

With two steps Adam was with him. But before he could say anything, Curt heard the door open behind him and without turning around, he was sure it was Bridget who just came out. His smile widened. "Adam, you weren't involved in the brawl in the Sweet Bravour? As I've heard, your friend, the Sheriff had his troubles to calm the situation. I just wonder what Bridget might say when she learns that you were there in the morning. I cannot imagine that she finds it acceptable that you visit such establishments." He slapped his chest. "Dear me, Adam, I've forgotten you've been there several times."

Adam's breathing became faster as he noticed how Bridget looked at him. He had to close his hands into fists so he could control himself. Without changing his facial features Curt turned around. Then he took a step back and looked at his friend in surprise. "Bridget, ... my goodness, you scared me! How can you just sneak up like that?"

He pointed at Sport. "Your husband has fallen off his horse. Luckily I found his horse and brought it home." He took Bridget's hand but she kept on looking at Adam. "I hope you are well?"

"Yes Curt, I'm fine. Thank you for taking care of Sport."

The teacher let go of her hand. "Then I won't disturb you any longer. Since I'm here, I'll pass briefly by your father-in-law's. You must surely take care of your husband."

Smiling, he put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "As I said, Adam, I will help you with all your problems. And even those which are just starting out."

Elegantly, Curt swung into his saddle and rode to the Ponderosa. Adam exhaled deeply and went to Bridget. When he tried to take her hand she pulled it away. "Bridget, there was no brawl in the bar and I wasn't with her either. I was in town in the morning and afterwards I had lunch with Tom and Sybil."

"Can I believe you? Why would Curt say something like that if it wasn't true?"

Adam wondered what he should tell her. Would she believe him when he told her that Curt was trying to get them apart? "Have I ever lied to you before?" He scratched his forehead. "Curt and I, ... I think he's in love with you and hopes that you will respond to his feelings if you're angry at me long enough."

Bridget looked at him in disbelief. "Have you been drinking in town? Where did you get such an idea? I told Curt very clearly that he doesn't need to have any hopes in this respect."

Now Adam looked at her in astonishment. "Was there a time when he could have hoped?"

Bridget put her hands akimbo and looked at him indignantly. "Do you want to reproach me now that I have met a man now and then before our wedding?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Several times she pushed her finger against his chest. "I don't know what's that supposed to mean, Adam, but yes, I went out with him a few times in New York and yes, I kissed him too. But I quickly realized that my feelings for you were still too strong to start something new with someone else. If you have a problem with that I think it's better to do your ranch chores. And you already had lunch as you have told me so beautifully."

She turned and went back to the house. Adam stood with his head down beside his horse noting that Bridget was the second who had felt the wrong wolf. His eyes went to Sport. He took the reins and climbed into the saddle.

XXXXX

"Atéla Wynono!"

Travis came running towards him as he dismounted from his horse. Adam took his nephew in his arms and walked with him to the house. "Where's your mama?"

Travis ran his hand over the face of his uncle. "Wynono ouch?"

"It's not bad. Is mama in the house?"

Travis babbled on but without telling him where Koko was. So Adam went on to the house. He was about to open the door which was only ajar when it was opened by Koko. "Little man, you shouldn't always run out and certainly not without jack..." Startled, she looked at Adam and put her hand over her mouth. "Adam, ... what happened?"

Adam let Travis down, put his hands in his jacket pocket and shrugged. "If I tell you I'm about to smoke the sacred pipe with your father in his tipi, is that enough to describe my day?"

Quickly, Koko looked over her shoulders. "Hoss is with your father at the Ponderosa ..." She took a jacket out of the house and handed it to Adam. "... Would you dress Travis while I get Nick? Then we go to the village. There my mother can take care of the children, and we both can talk. I think there's a lot to talk about."

"Thanks, Koko."

XXX

They were sitting by the fire in the tipi of Koko's parents and Adam told her about the day and what had happened at the Summer party. "That's the reason for the taunts between you both at Thanksgiving?"

"Do you know, Koko, how much I had to control myself then and today?"

"But Curt can't really believe that he can achieve his goal this way?"

With his hands clasped in front of his mouth, Adam looked into the fire, staring into the flames. "Today, he actually managed that I had an argument with Bridget."

Koko came to his side and took his hands. "Wynono, it will take more than this little quarrel to get you both apart. I feel and I see how much you are fighting against the wrong wolf."

Desperately Adam looked at her. "Koko, what do I do if the office for Indian affairs really send someone over? I don't want to lose them. But I also don't want to hide and start to deprive the children of their culture. What's next? Will the next step be to prohibit us to speak to Bernardo in Spanish? Won't it be allowed any longer to speak with my mother-in-law in her mother tongue?"

Koko pressed his hands tighter. "Wynono, try to stay calm. This isn't going to happen. Should the people of the agency really come up here, we will help you. They won't find the two if we don't want to."

Adam's gaze didn't change. He spoke even more quietly. "But if you hide them, I've lost them all the same."

"As Tom has already told you, it will take some time until someone will come here. First, Tom has to write the new report and then Curt must realize that nothing is done against you. After that, he has to report you again to the authority and I hope that all that takes so long that the problem with Curt will be already done."

Adam took Koko's hands and laid them against his forehead. "Koko, I don't know how to survive Christmas when this guy's sitting with us at the table. Even if I manage to ignore him he will leave no stone unturned to provoke me."

Koko held his face tightly with her hands. Then she put her forehead to his and looked him deeply in the eyes. "The wrong wolf must lie down, Wynono. But it shouldn't hide. It must be even more vigilant but it mustn't do anything as rash as it did today in town. Do you understand me? Because then Curt has achieved what he wants to. But you must also be very careful because I wouldn't put anything past him. If he doesn't achieve his goal, he might go a step further."

"What about Christmas?" He only whispered. "Koko, I'm afraid that I can't control myself. I have such an anger on him."

Neither of them broke eye contact. "We'll be there, too and I'll keep an eye on you. But I think if you take care of Bridget all the time he'll see that he has no chance. At Thanksgiving, he was also very cautious when Bridget, after talking about your faith, put him in his place. Wynono, your guardian spirit will give you the strength to overcome these hours."

For a long time they just looked into each other's eyes and with every minute Adam took more strength to prepare himself for the next obstacle that lay before him.

XXX

"Ben, if someone had told me eight years ago that I would be celebrating this day in Nevada with such a big family I would have thought him crazy. Especially if he told me that among them were also Indians."

Ben stood next to Clement and they both looked into the living room, where a part of the family had gathered, talking. "I'm no better. It hasn't been so long since I have seriously believed that none of my sons would give me a grandchild and certainly not Adam, and now?"

"Now we don't know where to put them all at the festivities." Clement smirked. "And I cannot imagine that the end is already in sight."

"Well, now we have to welcome that next child in the world."

"Or those."

Ben looked at him, wondering. "You know more than the two of them?"

"Well, last time I saw a belly of this size, I had Frederic and Bridget in my arms."

Ben took a sip from his glass and looked at Bridget who was sitting on the settee. "Oh, the belly of Hoss' mother wasn't much smaller."

With a slight grin, Clement nudged him. "How about a little bet, Ben?"

With mock horrified expression Ben's eyes widened. "You seriously want to bet with me how many babies are in the belly of my daughter-in-law?"

"I think we'll be happy about more than one newborn Cartwright."

Ben looked again at Bridget. "You know, Clement, what we're doing here isn't suitable?"

"And?"

"Hmm ... what's the bet?"

"If I'm right, you will have to accompany me to Genoa in May when I meet with some other important people to talk about the future of Nevada."

"And if I …. should win?"

"Then I'll help you in Spring at the ranch and no matter what chores you give me I'll do."

Ben laughed. "But you're already aware that I no longer have the say on the Ponderosa?"

"Oh Ben, believe me if Adam's aware of this he will be very happy to give you some very special chores, which I then have to carry out."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "I hope nobody gets what we're doing right now."

They toasted to each other and looked at Bridget with a smile.

XXXX

Adam handed Bridget a glass of water and sat down on the settee beside her. "We can also go home."

She put her hand on his leg. "It's all right. I just helped my mother too much today."

He put his arm around her and she leaned against him. "But if you don't feel better soon I will get the children and we will be heading home. Even if it's still quite early."

"Adam, it's Christmas. The children would be quite disappointed if we were going now and as I said I just have to drink and have a little rest."

Bridget looked left when Curt sat down beside her and put his hand on hers. "Bridget, are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Curt, it's all right."

Curt looked at Adam and smiled. "Adam, if you like, I'll take Bridget home and you can stay with the children."

Adam's eyes wandered to Curt's hand. He noticed the look, holding Bridget's hand even tighter.

"That won't be necessary. When we go, we all go together."

Slowly Bridget pulled back her hand. "Thanks for your offer Curt, but I just have to slow down a little bit then it'll be fine again. I'm not sick. "

Curt raised his glass and held it in Adam's direction. "Then let's toast, Adam, that it won't be long till we can welcome the new citizen of Virginia City."

As Curt grimaced at him Adam knew that he wanted to remind him that he shouldn't be so sure that he was the father of this child. But luckily Adam had already drunk four cups of tea which Koko had brought him, which left him relatively relaxed. Curt looked at the table where Adam's cup was.

"Adam, how could I forget that? You don't drink any alcohol since you found out that you cannot cope with it and lose control so easily. You're really lucky that the Sheriff is your friend. How many times have you already taken the saloon apart and hurt others?"

Now it took Adam considerable strength not to stand up and push Curt's face into the snow.

"Curt, I get the impression that you have something against Adam."

Once again Curt took Bridget's hand and looked at her in dismay. "For heaven's sake, no. I'm just a bit astonished because I've always thought that it's important for you that a man knows how to behave and watches his manners, and somehow you have described Adam differently."

With a friendly smile Bridget took her hand away and touched Curt lightly on the arm. "Believe me, Curt, Adam's exactly the way I want my husband. There is no better one for me. And if you two would do something else than to behave like two jealous cocks you'd get to know each other better." She looked at both men slightly annoyed and stood up. "I'm going to get me a glass of water and I can do that without the help of either of you."

Adam waited until Bridget could no longer hear them. "If you again put your hand on Bridget's I'll break every single one of your fingers."

Curt raised his finger and jiggled it in front of Adam's face. "My dear friend, you won't lose your self-control? Not at Christmas and certainly not in front of your adorable children."

"What do you think, you can achieve by that? Do you think Bridget won't get what you're up to?"

"But in the end she will understand that she's doing better with me than with a filthy cowboy who seems to have put on an act in Boston."

"I think you just didn't listen properly. She's very pleased with me, just as I am."

Briefly, Adam looked around then grabbed Curt by the collar and pulled him closer. "I would advise you not to put a single foot in my house and look for another job as soon as possible or you'll see what happens when you mess with a filthy cowboy."

For the first time, Adam could see something like fear in the eyes of Curt, but as fast as it was there, it had disappeared again. "Adam, you don't have to be so angry. I won't tell anyone that you and Koko don't just meet for drinking tea together. What I've seen will remain among us."

In a split second, Adam had pulled Curt onto his legs and was just about to draw back for a blow when his arm was being held. "Adam, have you taken leave of your senses?"

His father held his arm and looked at him angrily. With twisting cheekbones Adam looked from his father to Curt who just rearranged his clothes with a smile. "Mr Cartwright, it's all right. Unfortunately, your son didn't understand me again. I'm sorry, Adam. I really thought as you have studied I can talk to you about serious topics as well. But as I can see, you don't know most foreign words and therefore feel offended. In future I will talk in a way that you also understand me and if not, Bridget will explain it to you."

"You can let go of me, Pa. I'll be outside and calm down a little. In the meantime you can talk to your new best friend."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea and we both should talk about your behaviour tomorrow which is getting worse and worse lately."

Adam, too, straightened his clothes and looked at Curt again. "Adam, what I told you last week. I'm willing to help you with all your problems. That's what good friends are for."

Adam slammed the door behind him and took a deep breath. In the house Ben turned to the teacher. "Problems? What kind of problems does Adam have?"

"Oh, you know, Mr Cartwright, I'm not sure if Adam shouldn't better talk about that himself."

Ben looked at the door. "Mr Winfield, I'm always glad when there's someone who knows what keeps my son so busy."

"Then we should sit down, Mr Cartwright. It might take a little longer."

Ben glanced at the door again and put his hand on Curt's shoulder, who had already sat down. "I'll get us something to drink and then we can both talk.

XXXXX

When Ben later went to the kitchen to get another bottle of the wine he looked around in surprise. Actually, he had thought Emillia and the others would be here to clear away the food. Shrugging, he took a bottle out of the cupboard as Koko came running towards him.

"Ben, where is Adam?"

"He's been outside for a while to cool down. He had another argument with Curt and he doesn't even want to talk to Hoss or Frederic at the moment. Koko can ... "

He didn't come any further. He looked surprised at Koko who simply left him standing, leaving the kitchen.

XX

Adam didn't notice the cold. He was still too angry about what had happened. Thus he stood for a considerable time outside the door and looked into the stars. He had clenched his hands into fists. He was annoyed that he hadn't managed to achieve a victory over himself. Adam wondered how it would go on with him and Curt. This man was too intelligent to stop him by simple means. Adam heard the door open behind him. Surely it was Bridget who had now noticed what had happened. He put his hand to his eyes. How could he make her realize what a bastard her friend was.

"Adam, ..."

Koko touched him on the back. "Koko. I'm sorry, I've really tried, but ..." He sighed and didn't talk on.

"You've been arguing with Curt?"

Adam just nodded and then looked at his friend in surprise as she smiled at him.

"Then come with me. I think I have something that leaves dear Curt speechless for a while and will take your mind off of him."

She took his hand and pulled him back into the house. "Koko, what's going on?"

"Just come with me."

She went with him but not to the living room to the others but moved him to the stairs and went upstairs. "Koko, where do you want to go with me? I don't want to get hassles with Hoss. "

"You won't get."

With a wide grin she opened the door to one of the rooms. When Adam didn't move on, she pulled him a little more on the arm and pushed him into the room. "Koko, ... what shall ... "

He looked around in amazement. In the room were Cholette, Giovanna and Emillia and they smiled at him. Embarrassed, he scratched his chest and turned back to Koko. "What …."

Koko put her hands on his arms and turned him toward the bed. Instantly Adam's eyes grew wide and a grin spread across his face.

He tried to swallow the lump, which had formed in his throat. He slowly walked to the bed and sat down carefully on the edge. His eyes and all his attention were now focused on Bridget so he didn't notice when the others left the room and closed the door behind him softly.

"I thought I'd have got my Christmas gift this morning."

"And I thought for my wonderful man I need a special gift."

He leaned forward and gave her a kiss. Then he looked at her arms with a delighted smile. "And why couldn't you wait till we were home again?"

"I had to distract you somehow from Curt before you got into another dispute and ruin the whole Christmas celebration."

His smile disappeared instantly and he looked at her sadly. "Bridget, I'm sorry but I just can't stand him."

"Adam, don't let us talk about him now. We can do that the next few days."

With a nod the sparkling returned to Adams eyes. "And, do you have to spend a weekend with me in the village?"

"Yes, and you have to go on a wonderful trip with me in three years. Just the two of us alone."

He looked at the two children in Bridget's arms. "If we go on like this, we will get the house filled up very quickly."

"Adam, we shouldn't talk about another pregnancy now. I don't know if I ever want to get pregnant again. The last months have been quite enough for me."

Softly Adam stroked the little hands of the two babies. "But this time it really went very fast. I'm curious what the rest of the family will say to this surprise."

"Before you can proudly present your children downstairs, we should agree on the names."

Carefully Adam took one of the children in his arms. "Is that my future cowboy?" Bridget nodded.

"I'd like to call him George. I owe so much to our old foreman and ..."

Bridget put her hand on his arm. "It's all right, Adam. You don't have to explain it to me. I know what he meant to you."

Again Adam leaned forward and gave her a kiss. Then he held the hand of his daughter with two fingers. "And what is our second little princess' name?"

"I'd like to give her my grandmother's name. She wanted to come to Boston with us then but she died shortly before we left. Frederic and I loved her very much and she would be proud of us if she could see us like that. That's why I'd like to give her the name Claire."

Adam also took his daughter in the arm and stood up. "Then I'll show George and Claire to our little family."


	84. Chapter 84

With the pen Sarah tapped repeatedly on the sheet and tried not to listen to the quiet voice of Mr Winfield. For quite a while, he stood at Bernardo's table, explaining a task to him. Sarah was sure that Bernardo had no problems at all. Especially in arithmetic, he was the best of them. She tilted her head with eyes rolling and looked at Riccardo. He knew immediately why Sarah looked at him so annoyed. With his eyes he also glanced at the teacher then proceeded toput his finger in his mouth and pretended to choke. Instantly Sarah began to giggle. Mr Winfield turned his head and looked over his shoulder at Adam's sister, who smiled at him innocently as fast as she could. Curt smiled and turned back to Bernardo. Still annoyed, Sarah dropped her head on the table, but without causing no sound. With her head still on the table she looked back at Riccardo. He leaned back and with an exaggerated gesture he ran his hand through his hair, as Mr Winfield did so often. Then he also tried to smile like their teacher. When she then saw that Aiyana even mimicked him she couldn't restrain herself any longer and burst out laughing.

"Sarah Cartwright, can you please tell me what's going on with you today, that you're disturbing the class all the time?"

Even with repeated swallowing, Ben's daughter found it hard to control herself.  
"I only have …."

She didn't get any further as Mr Winfield put his hands akimbo and ran his hand through his hair. Then she could barely hold on to the bench from laughing.

"SARAH CARTWRIGHT!"

She pressed her lips together, trying to look serious.  
"Not only don't you get up when I talk to you, no, your behavior is also unacceptable!"

Slowly Sarah stood up and lowered her head slightly. She whispered, that probably not only her behavior was. "What did you say, Sarah?"

She raised her head and looked at him defiantly. "Nothing."

"Sarah, do I have to write a letter to your father that you have behaved very cheekily towards me?"

Sarah's eyes went very small and the defiant look turned into an angry one. "I just laughed."

"Do you want to argue with me, Sarah?"

"Then I might have to keep you from helping Bernardo with maths."

With his hands on the table Mr Winfield leaned forward slightly. "Young lady, you can examine the wall colour in the corner more closely for the rest of the hour. And at the end of school, you can pick up the letter that your father will surely be very enthusiastic about."

Sarah grabbed her things and went to go into the corner. "But with your brother Adam he is certainly used to it that you are rebellious and as cheeky as he is."

Instantly Sarah stopped, looked at her teacher darkly and tilted her head slowly. "At least, my brother doesn't have to kiss up to anybody like you do."

Curt took a step forward and stood very close to Sarah. His voice was serious and determined. "Go to the corner and think about your misbehavior. I doubt that you will be able to come to school tomorrow, when your father has read the letter, which I will write at once."

"And I hope you write the truth, otherwise my brother will come to school tomorrow and then ..." She raised her thumb and forefinger. "... bang!"

"SARAH CARTWRIGHT, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GIVE YOU A HIDING IN FRONT OF ALL THE CHILDREN, YOU GET INTO THE CORNER IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANOTHER COMMENT!"

He stood in front of her with his arm outstretched, pointing to the corner next to the teacher's desk. With another very angry look Sarah went there. When she heard the soft voice of Curt as he again stood by Bernardo she turned around and stuck her tongue out. With a smile, she turned back to the wall when she had seen the triumphant glances of Riccardo, Aiyana and Tyler. The rest of the lessons she tried not to think about what she could expect in the afternoon at the barn. But as Wynono always said. Sometimes it's worth to dig up the hatchet and accept some pain in order to achieve a victory, even if it's just a small one.

XXX

"Can you please look at me when I try to explain something to you? You don't need to laugh either. These are serious things that I discuss with you here. If you don't know how to hold a lariat correctly it can have very unpleasant consequences when a cow pulls you from your horse."  
Adam took the lariat right back into his hand and was trying to show how to handle it correctly to capture an animal. "You cannot just fall asleep now."

With his hands akimbo, he looked to his son. When Bridget stood beside him, he only pointed at him. "He doesn't listen to me."

"Honestly, Adam, ... maybe you shouldn't take him to the roundup before next year. Then he can certainly eat alone and he doesn't have to come home every two or three hours."

Adam breathed loudly, trying not to grin. "Alright, I'll give him time till after Easter but then I'll show him how to hold an ax."

He turned his head slightly to the side. "Did he get enough to eat today? I've got the feeling Claire is gaining more weight."

Bridget couldn't help laughing. She turned Adam by the arm. "Your cowboy will be big and strong."  
Desperately, he looked at George. "I hope so. Look at your brother and Little Joe."

Anxiously he raised his eyebrows and looked at Bridget, who was still all smiles. "You can see already that he's not as lanky as those two."

Then she became serious again. "Adam, please don't make the same mistakes as your father trying to make something out of him that he may not be or want. If his talents lie elsewhere, please let him go his way."

First, a little worried, he looked to George, but then looked at Bridget mischievously. "Then we have to go on until I get my cowboy."

He put the lariat around her and pulled her close to kiss her. With a gentle look, she put her hand on his cheek. "I do hope that I'm not getting a branding now."

He kissed her neck. "Why not?"

Laughing, she pushed him away as he began to kiss her more passionately. "You are impossible."

"No, I'm not. Only still in love as on the first day."  
Bridget gave him a kiss and tried to free herself from the lariat. "Now you must release me or you won't get lunch today and tomorrow you won't get a dessert at your father and Emillia."

Quite quickly, he let go of her and without looking at her, he rolled up the lariat properly. For a moment, Bridget closed her eyes. "What's the matter, Adam? Don't tell me you don't want to have lunch there tomorrow because Curt is going to be here?"

The eyes fixed on the top rope he immediately thought of one of the first wisdoms he had learned from Amarok. It had helped him often, but also had brought him just as much trouble. A quick glance at his necklace was enough. With a determined look, he turned to Bridget. "Bridget, I can't stand him and he can't stand me. But the worst is that he's such a cunning guy and hardly any of you gets that."

Bridget's eyes couldn't look more shocked. "Adam, what are you saying? I've known Curt since New York and he's anything but mean or cunning.

"Name me a man except for Mitch, whom we both know, with whom I'm continually arguing, because he provokes me so much."

Only her eyes looked aside as she thought about his words. "But why does he do that? What does he hope to gain?"

Adam took her hand and looked into her eyes. "He's trying to run me down. Curt believes if he shows you how much I disguised myself in Boston, you will leave me and go with him."

To avoid a loud laugh, she put her hand over her mouth. "What kind of nonsense is that?"

Then she looked at him very seriously. "Adam, if that's true, I wonder why you're getting so provoked by him? Nothing in the world, not even a Curt Winfield, will change my feelings for you. I thought you knew how much I love you."

She smiled as she ran her hand over his unshaven cheek and then, with a more loving look, touched a button on his shirt, which only hung on a thread. "Just like you are. Yes, in Boston you were a little different. But I've always loved to see you when you came back from your valley. Because then I could very clearly see that this Adam felt more comfortable."

She put her hands on his chest and smirked at him. "That doesn't mean that I don't want to see you clean shaven and wearing your good clothes from time to time."

He put his arms around her and held her tightly. "I'm sorry, I always forget how much you like to live here. I've only seen that he's the way most women in Boston would like."

Affectionately, she stroked his chest with her hands. "And I thought you'd realized I wasn't like most women in Boston."

"I hardly noticed that."

With a gentle look he approached her lips. Then he put the lariat around her and pulled her to the settee.

XXXXX

"Wynono, ...!"

Adam turned to the door. There stood his sister with a fresh bread in her hand. "I did it all by myself, almost. Mum helped me very little." 

"Is this for tomorrow?"

She came into the tack room and Adam picked her up and put her on a small table. "No, that's for us. Curt won't get the tiniest piece of it."

With a slight grin she broke off some bread for Adam, so he could try it. "No, something so tasty, we can't give him ..."

Carefully Sarah jumped off the table. Worried, Adam looked at her. "Everything's all right with you?"

Her eyes turned to the ground, she shrugged. "Today I was again in the barn with Pa."

Adam knelt before his sister, laying the bread on the table. Then he raised her chin. "Sunshine, I told you once, you won't find the right way on the ground. Look up, then you realize what lies ahead of you. So what happened?"

Sighing, Sarah raised her head. "I got a letter from school."

As she didn't want to continue to talk she lowered her head again. Adam lifted her chin again. "And?" 

"I said to Mr Winfield you're going to shoot him if he doesn't write the truth in the letter."

It was rare that Adam was speechless, but now he looked at his sister quite surprised. "Sunshine, why did you say that?"

Sarah bit her lips and hesitated but then she pulled herself together. "Wynono, we can't stand him. He's so ... "

She shuddered and grimaced.

"Worse than a slug?"

She nodded vigorously. "All the time he sneaks around Aiyana and Bernardo explaining things they've already known for a long time. Sometimes he does it with Riccardo and me as well but not as bad as with the two of them."

"And what happened today that you said I should shoot him?"

"Once again he stood only with Bernardo and explained the math tasks, as if Bernardo has to get explained everything and ... well, ... Riccardo mimicked him and I had to laugh about it and then Curt admonished me. When I went to the corner, he said something nasty about you and then it happened that I said you were going to school to shoot him."

With his hand Adam rubbed his neck and looked down. Everything in him cried - 'Yes, you did well. I'll be there tomorrow morning blowing his brain away '- but then he thought for a moment and looked at Sarah. "What Riccardo and you did wasn't right. That was cheeky and you know that. And to tell the teacher that he's going to be shot isn't my little Sunshine at all."

Only her eyes went down. "I know Wynono but I just couldn't restrain myself. It's terrible to see him at school. But if he's still here with us all the time, it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut."

"Why didn't you talk to me or Bridget? We could talk to Mr Winfield and tell him that he doesn't have to worry so much about you."

"Bernardo doesn't want that."

"Why not?"

She put her hands in her pocket and glanced at the ceiling. "He's afraid that you won't like him anymore because Curt is a friend of Bridget. Even though I told him that you can't stand him either. Otherwise you wouldn't have fought him at the Summer party."

"Is that the reason why Bernardo's speaking so badly again at the moment?" 

"You know him. If something bothers him, then ..." Her voice was a little quieter. "... then he doesn't complain like we others do. He always thinks you're going to send him to an orphanage."

Adam shook his head. He had really believed that Bernardo had finally cast aside this fear. As it looked, he would have to talk to the boy before he went away during the next few weeks. Adam put his hand on Sarah's shoulder. "Sunshine, please try to be not so naughty to Mr Winfield. When I get back from the roundup, then I'll talk to that dear Curt about the fact that you all don't need his special care."

Without getting up, he took the bread from the table and broke off a small piece and gave it to his sister. "Was Pa very angry with you?"

Silently she nibbled on the bread, then she looked at him with her dark eyes. "Wynono, can't I live with you? Like Bernardo and the others?"

"Come over here."

With his hand he slapped on his thigh and without hesitation she sat down there and put her arms around him. "What do you think Mum will say if you just grab your things and say you're leaving them now?"

She looked sadly at the bread in her hand. "Can Pa live with you then?"

Adam began to laugh loudly. "You can tell him this suggestion. I think he won't close his mouth till Christmas."  
He stroked her hair. "No Sunshine, everyone stays where they are and you just learn not to always shoot reckless arrows. But I have told you that you should think carefully about how to take action against someone who annoys you."

"But it's damn hard to use well considered arrows when it comes to this slime snail."

He pressed his sister closer. "Oh Sunshine, this sentence alone would have caused Pa to go with you to the barn. Look at me, Winona."  
She turned her head to him. "I can't promise, but I will try everything that I can that you'll get a new teacher after summer so again there will be peace and not just in school."

She looked at him with relief and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You are the best brother in the world."

Adam let her down and got up, then ran his hand through her hair again. "Don't you let Hoss and Little Joe hear that. Now take the bread back, otherwise I will eat it completely and not do my work."

She hugged him again and then ran back into the kitchen.

XXXX

"Dad, can we go?"

Adam was helping Chesmu putting on his shoes when Bernardo and Aiyana stood already dressed beside him. "Do that and then you can tell them, we will follow a few minutes later. The twins aren't willing to cooperate in terms of getting dressed."

"What?"

Aiyana looked surprised at Adam and then at Bernardo, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Pardon …..?"

"Uh?"

Adam exhaled and shook his head. He was already tense all morning, thinking only of the dinner at the Ponderosa. He had to pull himself together very hard not to vent his tension on the children or Bridget. In addition, Koko wouldn't be here today, who could calm him down now and then wouldn't be there either. "Just tell them we'll come right away."

"Thank you."

They turned and ran off. In vain Adam waited for the door to slam shut. With curiosity he wondered as to whether something of what he always told them remained with the children. As he winced, he knew why he hadn't heard anything.

"Buddy, just as you're fighting with Chesmu, it looks like you're already practicing for the next weeks. But the boy isn't a calf. Not that you tie his feet together."

Only his head turned to Tom who was standing with a big grin in the doorway. "You're surely the one I've missed today. Has Virginia City become such a sleepy hole that you have time to get out here today?"

Adam's friend stood at the door, motionless and still smiling. "If you were to do something different than to take care of the mountains, cattle and kids, you could come to town and visit me."

"As if you had less work."

The Sheriff sat on the edge of Chesmu's bed and handed Adam the boy's second shoe. "I have and take the time. Because I send the first kid out before I get another child."

"Very funny. Did Jörn at least arrive safely in Boston?"

"Yes and he didn't need as long as you did, since he didn't take breaks for weeks."

Adam held out Chesmu's jacket. "Could it be that you're here today to annoy me? Why don't you go home and play with your kids?" 

"Because Dean and Denise are to wake up from their noon nap just now and I'm here on official business."

He briefly glanced at Tom and then closed Chesmu's jacket. "You can look how far Ma is with the twins and if she isn't ready yet, tell her I'll help her right away. Then you can play with Rusty outside."

Immediately the boy clung to Adam's leg. "Want to stay here."

Adam picked up his son and put him on his lap. "My great warrior, Tom and I have something to discuss and it won't take long. So please do as I told you. All the faster we are finished here we can go to the Ponderosa."

Chesmu leaned on him and let himself be hugged tightly. Then he stood up and with his head bowed, he left his room.

"Is he always clinging like that?"

Adam nodded. "It became worse again after the birth of the twins and now even more so because he knows that I won't be at home the next few weeks."

"The boy doesn't seem to have forgotten what happened back then."

"His fear of even losing me is quite big, but I'm counting on the family time and closeness so that he will feel safe and secure. But what brought you out here? I can't imagine that my children have done something so bad that you have to get out here on Saturday."

"You have asked me to make inquiries about Mr Winfield."  
Instantly, Adam straightened. "Buddy, stay calm. Unfortunately, you won't hear what you hoped for. He has clean hands. There is hardly anyone who could say anything negative about him. One or the other said he was a bit arrogant, but that's also said about you."

Adam clenched his fist. "Damn it ….! And the death of his wife?"

"There's nothing unusual about it. She had been infected with scarlet fever and died in hospital."

With his eyes closed, Adam shook his head. "So it's all about Bridget."

"I saw him on the way to you. Is he coming to the Ponderosa for dinner?"

"Yes, my father and he get along quite well. For whatever reason."

Tom whistled softly. "That could be exciting, as tense as you are today."

"Don't remind me of that. If I could act, as I wanted ...! "

He raised his head as he heard someone clearing the throat. At the door stood Bridget with the twins in her arm. She came in and gave Claire to Tom and George to Adam. "I'm still there too and I will be listening to what dear Curt says. You can be sure if I have the slightest impression that he is trying to run you down, then ..." She didn't continue but smiled at her two children. "I'm going to get Emilie and I ready and when you're done with your war council, you can go downstairs and see if Chesmu's still playing outside or has already gone."

Adam looked after his wife with a screwed eye. "What do you think, Tom? What will she get when she's done with him?"

Tom also looked at the door. "Life, but as I know you, you won't allow your wife to defend you. You'll be faster."

With a broad grin, Adam rose. "Honestly, Tom? If dear Curt will be his devious self again and Bridget gets it, then I will sit back and watch how that beloved Mr Winfield gets picked apart by my wife. I can't imagine anything better. And after that I will take Bridget in my arms before his very eyes, kiss her lovingly and go home."

Tom stood up with his finger raised. "Adam, would you do me a little favor? Only one, …. please leave your gun at home. I'm off work tonight and I don't want to ride out again to have to talk about a bloodbath at the Ponderosa."

"Tom, it's Saturday! A Sheriff should never be bored on a Saturday night."

The Sheriff followed his friend downstairs muttering softly to himself.

XXXX

"Curt, I heard the opening ceremony for the new school house is to take place after the works in Spring?"

Ben handed the teacher a cup of coffee.

"As I thought that even the ranchers from the area should participate, it would be a fine time. Then everyone can see what a good job Mr Francois has done. Too bad that Adam has hardly been involved."

A slight smile spread over Curt's face as he looked at Adam and took a sip from his cup.  
"Because it was a small order, Curt, it was enough that only Frederic was there." 

Slowly, Curt put down his cup and sadly he looked at him. "But Adam, it's just that you, being a member of the school council, should participate in such a thing, or do you have so much work to do here on the ranch? Then you should talk about it and someone else could take your place in the council."

"I get it all fixed, Curt. You don't need to lose any sleep about it."

"Oh, .." Curt tapped his head. "… how could I forget that. As I've heard, you've had a serious accident and haven't yet fully recovered. Probably you felt just uncomfortable for someone to see that you still can't lend a hand. Certainly it's also very difficult to have to put up with the thought that one day you cannot walk anymore."

Curt's attention now focused on Bridget. "And how are you doing with it? You have six children and then a man in need of care? You've certainly not dreamed of that."

Without looking at Adam, she knew that he was about to lose control. So she put her hand on his leg and looked calmly at Curt. "I don't know where you got this information, because not even the closest family knows about it, but whoever told you about it was apparently not well informed. So I would ask you to hold back with such assertions. And one thing is for sure, Curt! If Adam needs help with anything, it's out of the question that he'll get it from me. Because he would do the same for me if need be, even if we had five more children."

Curt raised his hand and tried to look concerned. Especially Ben looked wide-eyed at his son. "Excuse me, Bridget, I thought that was known, especially because I know what a special relationship Adam and his father have."

Bridget reinforced the pressure of her hand on Adam's leg. "Curt, if you don't instantly stop trying to show me what a supposedly bad life I'm leading, I will quickly forget my good education. You couldn't pack your bags as quickly as I would personally hunt you out of town."

„Bridget, …"

With his mouth open, her father-in-law stared at her. She also raised her hand.

"Ben, please excuse me that I act that way as guest in your house, but Curt has crossed a line lately that I can no longer tolerate. Especially if it's against my family and especially against Adam. But now I assume that he has understood my words and that all issues are clarified, ... " She looked again at her former colleague. "... aren't they, Curt?"

He leaned back and continued to smile as if nothing had happened. "Of course, Bridget. I have only assumed that I could talk so openly with you, because we're very good friends and more than only the studies connect us. But I will restrain myself in future if you wish."

Bridget took her cup and while she was drinking, she understood what Adam meant, that he had problems with not shooting thoughtless arrows as he always said.  
The rest of the afternoon and the evening passed without any further comments from Curt heading in Adam's direction. Later Ben had taken Adam aside a moment to know what Curt meant by his statement about his health. Adam had promised his father that in the next few days he would talk to him about it in private. But the entire evening, Adam wondered where Curt could get his information. For apart from Koko, Hoss and Frederic no outsider knew about it and Bridget certainly didn't tell him.

In the evening, when Adam had just told the children in the barn that they were about to head home Curt came out of the shadows "You're going to leave, Adam?"

"Yes, we will."

He went to pass the teacher as he grabbed him by the arm. "How miserable do you have to be if you have to be defended by your wife?"

"How little self-confidence must someone have to resort to such means, just to get a woman?"

Without letting Curt out of his eyes, Adam pulled back his arm.

"You can believe me, Bridget is a good actress. We just want you to be safely away with your cattle in the next few weeks while I look after your house, your children and ... your wife."

Before Adam could punch him, the children came running out of the barn. "You're playing with your life, Curt. I don't know if you're aware of this and that's actually not what you want."

Both whispered so that the children couldn't hear what they were talking about. "I'll take care that I don't kick the bucket. It's enough to me when you disappear the next twenty years. Even Bridget wouldn't wait for you for that long."

The children had noticed very quickly that the conversation between the two wasn't very friendly and so they all gathered behind Adam. Also Sophie, who didn't really know what it was about.  
"Wynono, shall we go in?"

Sarah didn't look at her brother when she was standing next to him with arms crossed. Her eyes were focused on Curt. Slowly Adam nodded and put his arm around his sister. "Yes, let's go inside. We're done outside and we've got to bring Tyler and Riccardo home."

Without turning around, he went to the house with Sarah. One after another the children passed Curt. Aiyana with Chesmu at her hand was the first and she spoke only one sentence in her language. She looked at her teacher challengingly and went on. Bernardo was the next. "Just like that and not any different."

Then Riccardo followed with Sophie by the hand. "Well, I'd be afraid."

The last one was Tyler, who only grinned. "And I know very well that she can witch."

Curt looked after the children and knew that he had to act a little differently in order to achieve his goal. He had underestimated the strong closeness of the family.

XXXX

As he dismounted, Adam looked around. Then he saw Riccardo standing at the barn, just as he had gotten his horse ready. "Good morning, cowboy. Already so busy at this early morning?"

Riccardo turned around and ran towards him. "Uncle Adam!"

Adam took his nephew in his arms and then pushed his hat back. "Why did you look so sad? It's the weekend and you don't have to go to school."

Riccardo put his hands in his pockets and looked to the ground with a pout. "Since you're at the camp it's so boring. I've done all the work on the ranch. There's not much to do when you're all out there."

Adam had his hands on his belt and looked at Riccardo disbelievingly. "You've already worked off the entire list I gave you?"

Proudly the boy raised his head. "Of course. It wasn't much to do and not very difficult."

Adam scratched his forehead with a finger and thought. "Then I have to give you more chores next year. But we'll be finished at the camp soon and then you'll have more to do."

"It still takes a whole week till then said Aunt Bridget."

He could see how disappointed Riccardo was.  
"And where do you want to go?"

Riccardo looked over his shoulder and then at his horse. "I don't know what Pa's up to with me. He just told me to get everything ready so I can stay out overnight."

"You don't seem very enthusiastic about this."

Riccardo scratched his hairline and looked slightly embarrassed at Adam. "Uncle Adam, have you ever gone on an excursion with my dad and then stayed outside?"  
Immediately Adam shook his head and laughed. "No and honestly, Riccardo, that's not an experience I'd like to share with your father."

Shrugging and with sad eyes the boy looked at him. "You see. Not even you want that and you're his best friend."

Now Adam pretended to think hard. "I would suggest, then you just tell him you don't want that and best right now because he's coming."

Startled, Riccardo turned around, but said nothing. "Good morning, Frederic. I heard you wanted to spend the weekend with your son out in the open?"

"Yes Adam ...," He put his arm around his son's shoulder. "... isn't that an excellent idea? I'm really looking forward to it. Just like Riccardo."  
His son just sighed and looked down. "Son, what's going on? Aren't you glad to do something with your father?"

Frederic turned his son so that he had to look at him. "Well ..., I ..." He glanced at his uncle pleadingly, who looked at him laughing.

"Frederic, don't torture your boy like that."

Offended, Frederic looked at Riccardo. "It's a little hurtful, Riccardo, that you don't want me to spend the night with you in the wilderness."

"Pa, should I remind you, who always has to shoo the spiders out of our house?"

Briefly Frederic opened his mouth then he turned Riccardo quickly to his horse and pushed him in that direction. "Get going. Adam doesn't have the whole day to wait for you."

In the movement, the boy stopped and turned to the adults. "I'm going with Uncle Adam? To the camp?"

Eyes pretty wide, he looked from his father to his uncle. "Cowboy, gradually I must start to show you what a good foreman must be able to do."

"I can go to the camp?"

Adam took Sport's reins and mounted. "So, if you keep standing there asking, the weekend will be over and you won't have set foot in the camp." 

Still quite disbelievingly Riccardo looked at his father, who nodded to him affirmatively. Immediately, Adam's nephew turned around, ran to his horse and was with one jump in the saddle.  
Frederic just shook his head as he saw the enthusiasm of his son. "Adam, just bring him back safe and sound. I really want to know from whom he has this enthusiasm for the ranch work. From me definitely not."

All of a sudden Riccardo pulled a pout and he looked thoughtfully at the saddle horn. Adam, who saw that look and knew what the boy thought, rode to his side and nudged him with his hand. "Of course he has that from you. Look at Bridget. She likes living here, too. So it's in the blood of your family." 

"Just that I didn't get a drop of it. Now go and you, my son, remain decent and listen to what your uncle tells you."

"Hey, cowboy! Chin up! You always listen to what I tell you and you know I'll never lie to you."

Riccardo breathed deeply and smiled a little and even if he knew that his uncle wasn't lying, he wondered times and again whether Gus wasn't right then.

A few hours later, Riccardo was no longer thinking of Gus' words. He was way too busy listening to what Adam and the older cowboys told him. At the moment he was sitting on his horse trying to catch a calf with the lariat. What wasn't quite difficult for him on the ground turned out to be a hundred times more difficult in the saddle. Not only that the throwing wasn't so easy, Riccardo had to be careful not to fall from the horse. But Toby was very patient with him and always told him how to do better. Adam stood at the kitchen waggon and couldn't hide how proud he was of his nephew, as he tried to apply the instructions correctly. If he went on like this and would still work at the Ponderosa after school, they'd have really found the successor to Tico.

"You wanted to talk to me, Adam?"

Adam tried not to close his eyes for long when he saw Little Joe coming to him. Already for several days he had noticed that his brother was always looking for reasons not to work so much at the camp. And although their relationship had actually improved after the cattle drive it had cooled noticeably since the incident in the barn when Joe had shown his anger, which he had on him, also at work. He griped a great deal and carried out the tasks assigned to him very reluctantly. Joe's eyes grew even smaller when he noticed Riccardo.

"What's he doing here at the camp?"

Without looking at his brother, Adam took a cup and poured some coffee. "Learning. He will get more chores from year to year so he can help us well when he comes out of school. Then I will have a cowboy here, I don't have to explain much to and above all I can really rely on him."  
Adam's coffee spilled over the edge as Joe pushed his arm. Slowly, Adam took a cloth and cleaned his hand. "Do you feel better now, Little Joe?"

"Then tell me to go. You have such a great cowboy here. Then you don't need me."

"I never forced you to work on the Ponderosa. But I would be glad if you work here and the emphasis is on working."

"Oh and what am I doing here from sunup to sundown?"

Adam looked at his brother. "Tell me, Joe. Because I don't know where you've been in the morning. You had the job of branding calves with Dan, but you didn't."

Joe grimaced and looked angry at Riccardo. "I've been looking for some stray cattle with Frank."

"But that wasn't your job, Joe."

Defiantly Joe raised his shoulders. "So what? I'm a Cartwright, so I can decide what tasks I take over here."

With momentum Adam put down the cup. "Joe, I thought we had clarified this point. Yes, you are a Cartwright and yes, the men should also listen to you at some point. But at the moment you still have to listen to me. I told you I do not interfere with what you do in your spare time, but here I will pay close attention to what you are doing and what you are not doing. Understood, Joe?"

Joe's eyes wandered toward the sky. "And what should I do now? Play nanny for Riccardo?"

"Certainly not, because otherwise the boy will supply you again with a black eye because you think you have to annoy him. You ride into town and get some things we need." Adam took a note from his pocket and noted a few things, then handed it over to Joe. "And Joe? You're not going to need three hours, do you understand?"

"You talked loud enough."

Looking at the note, Joe went to his horse.

XX

Joe had just grabbed the last box on the waggon when Curt turned up beside the carriage.  
"Hello, Little Joe. What are you doing in town? I thought you were all in the camp."

Joe looked at the teacher of his sister. Curt didn't wear a suit as usual, but was dressed like a ranch cowboy. "I was just getting some things we still need in the camp."

"Well, you don't seem very enthusiastic."

Joe grumbled and put the boxes so that they couldn't move while driving. "Well, I can imagine it's not so easy to work with your brother."

"It's alright."

Curt leaned against the car. "You don't need to tell me. I can imagine how he is. I've been helping your father on the ranch for several days. Two horses have bolted and have destroyed not only the fence at the Ponderosa, but also the one at your sister-in-law. He told me why Adam is leading the Ponderosa now. Well, since I can work very well with your father, it must be because of your brother."

When Joe didn't answer him, Curt slapped him on the back. "Do you think you have time to have a beer with me? I invite you."

"I don't know. Adam told me to come back at once."

"Come on, Joe. You're already grown up. You'll soon be eighteen, so you won't have to listen to your brother anyway."

"All right, but only one beer. So far I'm still seventeen. "

Curt laughed and slapped him against the arm. "Tell me, did your brother say when he'll come home again, or will he stay at the camp till next week?"

They both went to the saloon. "As far as I know, he wanted to drop by at home in the late afternoon, when he'll bring Riccardo back again."

"Riccardo is at the camp?" 

"Can we change the subject, Mr Winfield?"

Curt's smile widened. "You can call me Curt, Joe. I almost belong to the family. Tomorrow afternoon you said ...?"

Without Joe getting it, Curt nodded slightly, grinning to himself.

XX

It was late afternoon when Adam brought Riccardo home. The boy hadn't quite dismounted when he told Giovanna everything he had experienced in the two days and how nice they all had been to him.  
Giovanna wanted to invite him in for a coffee, but Adam politely declined. When he told her he still wanted to go home, she couldn't help smiling. His repeated indication that he really only wanted to say Hello, didn't change her expression. In the end, he rode back home with a smile wondering what Bridget always told her friend.

Astonished, he dismounted as he saw his father standing by his fence. "Hello, Pa. Don't you have anything better to do on a Sunday afternoon than to work on my fence?"

Ben carefully laid the board on the ground he held in his hand. "I could have left the fence demolished until you come back."

Only now Adam noticed that half the fence was renewed. "What happened?"

"Two of the mustangs have bolted and half the herd followed them. They took my fence and then yours down here. Only then could they be calmed down."

"Why didn't you come to the camp? Then I would have sent you Joe and one of the men who could have helped you."

Ben signaled his refusal. "T'wasn't necessary, Adam. I got help. Excellent help."

"Oh yes. Let me guess. Hoss?"

"No, Curt."

Adam immediately looked around.

"He just went into your house to get us something to drink."

Since Adam had been standing here for some time and Curt still wasn't back, Adam turned without saying a word and went to his house. He thought Curt had understood when he told him he didn't want to see him again in his house. With momentum he opened the door and stared at the picture before his eyes. Curt had Bridget in his arms and kissed her passionately.


	85. Chapter 85

Ben looked into the sky and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I think another hour, then we'll be through."

With two more punches Curt hammered the last nails into the wood and leaned against the fence. "Yes, I think so, too. I only wonder why it has to be just so warm today."

"It's not so warm, you're just not used to hard work. This is somewhat different than in your classroom."

Curt looked at the house as he noticed Adam riding along. With a smile he pushed off the fence. "Ben, it IS very warm today. I think I'll get us some water."

"Do that and I will quickly nail the last two boards here."

As Ben took the next board Curt hurried to come into the house before Adam could see him. Without knocking, he opened the door and looked around. The elder children were, as far as he knew, all up at the Ponderosa and he didn't have to worry about the three little ones. "Bridget?"

Adam's wife came out of the kitchen and looked at him in astonishment. "I didn't hear you knocking, Curt!"

Bridget tried not to sound too angry though she was. She had told him yesterday that he shouldn't always come into the house without knocking first. Since dinner at the Ponderosa she saw many things Curt said or did differently and she didn't really like him to fix the fence with Ben. But as she knew that they couldn't wait until Adam and the men returned from the camp, she had accepted Ben's help with thanks. At that time, she hadn't realized that Curt would be there, too. She felt very uncomfortable that he constantly sought her presence and so she counted the days until Adam was back home.

"I knocked several times but you seem to have been so lost in your work that you didn't hear it."

Skeptically she looked at him. She couldn't believe that she hadn't heard the knocking. "And why are you here? Are you done with work?"

Curt took a few steps toward her. "What's the matter with you lately, Bridget? Did I do something wrong? Because I've got the feeling that you're angry with me." He put his hand on his chest and looked at her innocently. "I only want the best for you."

As he smiled arrogantly at her, Bridget just wondered how she ever had been able to go out with him once. Here in Virginia City he behaved quite differently than in New York. "Curt, please stop this. I think I told you very clearly that you needn't to have any hope when it comes to the both of us. But the way it looks you forget all the time that I'm married and indeed very happily married. Maybe it would be better if you were to look for another job in another town after Summer."

With one ear, Curt listened whether someone was approaching the house. It would certainly not be long before Adam would come in. So he went a step closer to Bridget. "Can you blame me that I still have feelings for you? You're a very pretty woman and I think you deserve better than a cowboy who can only lie in bed or sit in a wheelchair in a few years. I can make you happy even in the next thirty years."

Annoyed and quite disgusted Bridget exhaled loudly. "Curt, I think you need to leave my house right away and I never want to see you again."

"Bridget, darling, you won't have forgotten about the beautiful hours we have spent together. I think I need to refresh your memory."

The moment he heard someone entering the porch he grabbed Bridget's arm and pulled her close. Then he turned her away from the door so that Adam wouldn't see her face first. Because he knew it wouldn't look very pleased about what he was about to do.

Before Bridget could even realize what Curt was up to he had taken her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. She was so frightened by his audacity that she didn't notice how the front door opened and Adam came in. Bridget opened her eyes and pushed Curt away. Then she took a swing and her fist hit Curt's chin with such force that he staggered back a few steps. It didn't take long, however, and then he resumed his exaggerated, friendly smile. "My little wild cat, so impetuous today!"

Bridget's face grew red with anger. "If you don't leave the house at once and dare to get close to me only one more time, I'll get the gun and after that you'll never be able to kiss a woman again."

Amused and amazed, Curt straightened up and with a grin he went to take a step towards her. "I didn't know you liked these little games so much."

"If you go only one step closer to my wife I'll throw my gun to her! And one thing you should know, you're not the first man she's going to shoot. So bugger off! The last one who got two bullets from her isn't alive any more."

Adam stood a few steps from Bridget and Curt and looked at the teacher with a devastating look. However, Curt seemed not to be impressed and kept smiling to himself.  
"Adam, you're back already? Well, then I can understand your reaction, Bridget."

Adam grabbed Curt by the collar and pulled him to the door. With a punch, which included all his anger of the recent months, he pushed Curt out of his house. "If I see you even once again here on my land and close to my wife, Bridget won't be the only one using a gun."

Curt sat on the ground rubbing his face and carefully moving his jaw. He resisted the temptation to spit out the blood that gathered in his mouth. Carefully, he rose from the ground. Meanwhile, Ben had noticed that something had happened and came running to the two men. Irritated about the situation he looked at Adam, who was standing with arms crossed on the porch. As self-assured as he could, Curt stood up and patted the sand off his clothes.  
"Adam, I think we'll talk tomorrow in peace. I think today you're just too done from working at the camp."

"Can someone tell me what's going on here?"

Adam didn't move a yard. "If you don't leave my land immediately, there won't be any lessons tomorrow because you'll be at your own funeral."

"ADAM, ...!"

Curt touched Ben lightly on the shoulder. "Ben, your son has once again misunderstood a few things because ..."

Ben pulled his arm away and took a step to the side. "Curt, Adam cannot misunderstand you that often. Whatever you've done, I think it's best you're leaving now. Until I don't know exactly from Adam what's going on between you two, I also ask you not to visit the Ponderosa."

Surprised, Curt raised his eyebrows. Once again he had underestimated the closeness of this family. But he made up his mind not to give up. In his eyes Bridget belonged to him and only him. "Then I'll go. I hope Adam, you clear that up. I would be sorry if my good friendship with Ben would break because you, as so often, don't tell the truth. I remind you only of your hand and your back."

Adam took a step forward and let his hand slide to the holster. Immediately, Ben was by his side holding his arm. "Son, he's unarmed. Don't do anything rash. "

Curt tapped his forehead and with a laugh he rode off. Instantly Adam turned around and went to Bridget who was standing in the doorway. "Bridget, did he ..."

She shook her head. "Today was the first time he went so far."

She rubbed the knuckles of her right hand. Cautiously Adam took her hand and looked at it. "It's going to be pretty bruised."

"But it was worth it."

He took her in his arms and closed his eyes. At Curt's reaction, Adam realized that he wouldn't give up. He felt scared when he thought of what the teacher would be up to to achieve his goal. "I'll stay here for the next few nights and I'll go to the camp in the morning."

Bridget leaned closer to Adam. Even though she was rarely afraid of anything her old friend started to scare her and so she didn't argue with Adam's suggestion.

"Adam, ... Bridget, .. could you please explain what's going on here?"  
With a loving but anxious look Adam let go of his wife and turned to his father. "Pa, if you help us to get the children ready, we will accompany you back home and I'll tell you everything, even what concerns me." 

Ben slapped his son on the back. "Well, then let's go."

XXX

Ben and Adam had retreated to the kitchen in order to talk in peace.

Adam leaned against the small table and ran his hand over his eyes. "To make a long story short, Pa, our good Mr Winfield has the desire to get Bridget as his wife and he wants to reach that goal with all his might. At first he tried to run me down to Bridget. When he realized that he had no success, his efforts were to get me out of the way so that he could then get to Bridget without being disturbed."

Ben took a deep breath and walked through the kitchen. "Even if I noticed from the beginning that the relationship between you two was anything but good, I can hardly imagine that Curt plays such a fake game with us all."

"Yes, he does. He was only looking for your closeness to drive a wedge between us."

"Mhh ... yes, when I think about it more closely, he really tried that. When I think of Christmas. Then he wanted to tell me what your alleged problems are. But he didn't get very far because one of the children was always with us and then ..." Ben smiled. "... you turned up with your double Christmas surprise."

Adam smiled as he thought of that evening, but not for long, then he looked back at Ben seriously. "Pa, I think Curt is dangerous. I don't believe that this has deterred him today."

"What happened exactly?"

In a few words, Adam told his father the situation he had found Curt and Bridget. After his father had recovered from the shock he only shook his head.

"And what are you going to do now? Because after what you told me, I also think that he won't just stop."

Adam shrugged. "I have no idea, Pa. I just hope he doesn't bring the children into the matter. For just because he has kissed my wife the school board will certainly not agree that we kick him out."

"No, I don't think so. He's too popular and as a teacher, you cannot say anything negative about him. Most children get along very well with him. Did you talk to Tom yet?"

"I did. He has known from the start but he also has nothing in his hands, which would be sufficient for him to take action."

Ben still couldn't believe what he had learned about the teacher. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with his hands akimbo and shook his head in disbelief. "Adam, I'm sorry I didn't see what kind of a man Curt is."

"It's all right, Pa. He can sell himself very well. There will scarcely be one who won't be taken by him."

When Adam rubbed his eyes again and looked pretty done, Ben remembered what he was wanting to talk about. "Adam, ... what did Curt mean by that remark that you cannot walk any more some day in future?"

It was plain to see how Adam took a deep breath. "That too is something I wonder how Curt got to know. So far, only Koko, Hoss, Frederic and, of course, Bridget knew about it and none of them talked about it." Before looking at his father again he glanced up at the ceiling and breathed deeply again. "My injuries of Kajika didn't all heal as I have told you. In my left palm I have no feeling and when I work too much, my fingers become numb, but fortunately, after a few hours it subsides. It's a bit different with my back. Every now and then it happens that in my left leg the feeling disappears. Paul and the shaman share the opinion that it could happen more frequently in the coming years and may persist for days. But I'm working on delaying it as long as possible and who knows, maybe it won't happen at all."

Ben had to remind himself to take another breath. He looked at Adam so horrified that he forgot to breathe again. "Why ..." Ben tried to find the right words which was very difficult for him. "... Adam, why did you never talk about such a thing to me? Why does such a thing only come to light when we have a dispute?"

With closed eyes, Adam tapped several times with his finger to his mouth. Then he lowered his arms again and looked at his father with a small smile. "I didn't want my injuries to have an impact on my work here at the ranch and if you had known about it you would have been watching closely all of my movements. More than you already do."

Somewhat indignantly Ben put his hands akimbo. "I am no longer standing at my desk when you're working there."

"No, you don't, but as soon as I leave the table for a moment you are there and taking a look at the papers."

Ben opened his mouth but with a smile he closed it again. "Just promise me you'll talk to me, if the work gets too much."

"I will, Pa. Promise."

Thoughtfully Ben looked on the kitchen floor. "Adam, do you mind if I ask Paul if he talked to someone about your injuries? May well be that he talked to a colleague and Curt just heard it by chance."  
"Do it. I'm assuming that it won't be long and it will be spread in town. Who knows whom he will tell, because he hopes for some results from it."

"We're gonna get this settled, Adam, we'll think of something for Curt to leave us in Summer. But first of all, I'd like to suggest that I go to the camp and spend the last days there and you can stay with Bridget."

"I think it's enough if I'm just here at night."

Ben came to his side and put his arm around his son. "Son, your wife has punched like a man but she has a woman's hand. You can already see how bruised and swollen the knuckles are. I think Bridget will need some help the next few days even if she is as stubborn as you are and will surely deny it. Besides, I can once again push my youngest, because I'm sure he didn't make it easy for you."

With his hand before his mouth, Adam looked to his father. "Do you think the hands are still listening to you?"

"If you're cheeky, we can go to the barn."

Although Adam smiled his eyes looked seriously at Ben. "Pa, there's still something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Phew, there's more to what I have to listen to today?"

"Yep, ... I'd like to talk to you about your talks with Sarah in the barn."

Ben's eyebrows rose and he let go of Adam. "I think I have to make some coffee first. This conversation might take a little longer."

"If I'll get a cup too, it'll be fast. Promise."

"I think it's going to be fast on your part because I know your opinion about the barn."

Both smiled at each other and together they prepared a fresh pot of coffee.

XXXXX

Several times Hoss looked at the letter. Even though he couldn't believe a word of what was written there that little voice in his head told him that it could be. Again he took the envelope but there was no sender on it and the handwriting didn't seem familiar. He shook his head and put the letter in his pocket but the whole morning he thought about these lines. So he jumped up scared as someone hit him on the back.  
"Hey Hoss, you're not dreaming at work, are you?"

With a lot of momentum he threw the sack on the carriage and though he hadn't intended, he growled at his brother. "I may well think about some things or is that forbidden?"

Immediately, Adam raised both hands. "Wow, ... didn't you have anything to eat yet, or is something else wrong?"

Hoss took the next sack and threw it back with remarkable force on the carriage. "No, I haven't eaten yet."

"Well, then ..." Adam picked up the last sack and put it on the carriage. Then he rubbed his back briefly. Very clearly he felt that he had broken some horses yesterday and today. In the afternoon he would only take care of the papers which had already accumulated on the desk. If he then still had time he'd make the final preparations for the start of the work on the mountain. "... come on, I invite you for dinner."

Hoss still had his hands on the last sack and looked down. Then he reprimanded himself for his foolish thoughts. "All right, but I don't have much time. I still have to take that stuff to the farm before I help old man Peterson on his farm, like every Friday."

Both went across the street to the hotel. "I have only one hour left as well. Then I want to check with Frederic about an office we want to rent so that he can work there. How is Peterson?"

"I think he needs me only a few weeks more. Then his ribs should be healed."

As Hoss smelled the food of the restaurant he wasted no more thoughts on the letter.

XXXX

"Rusty, I think we've misjudged time. I can forget about the work in the office today."  
The dog lay, as so often, rolled up under Sport. She lifted her head slightly to see if they were really going home. When Adam had looked at the offices with Frederic she had followed him. But when he had a short stop at Tom's office she went to Sport to have her afternoon nap. Adam shook his head as he had to wait till Rusty stretched out under the belly of Sport and then slowly emerged from underneath.  
"I see that this year you will certainly not come up to the cattle drive."

Rusty trotted off slowly. Adam took the reins in his hand and mounted. He wasn't quite in the saddle when Sport immediately began to buck and reared up. It wasn't possible for Adam to calm the horse. He couldn't stay in the saddle. Rather rudely he flew to the ground and bounced back against a trough. Barking, Rusty came to his side, as did Tom, who was on his way to the telegraph office. Before he went to his friend he calmed Sport and tied him. He then knelt down next to Adam, who recovered slowly.  
"You all right, Buddy?"

Tom rose and reached his hand out to Adam, who grimaced in pain when standing up.

"I'm all right."

"I see! … What happened?"

Without answering Tom, Adam went to Sport and looked closely at him. He certainly hadn't reacted that way without a reason. So Adam scanned his horse and when he couldn't feel or recognize any injuries he ran his hand under the saddlecloth. With anger in his belly and a very grim look he pulled out a few thistles from under the blanket. He tilted his head and showed it to Tom who immediately raised his hand and spoke very softly to his friend.  
"You have no proof, Buddy."

Briefly, Adam put his head on the saddle and slightly struck it with his fist. He already knew that it wouldn't be possible for him to sit on a horse for the next few days. He could be happy if he could move at all tomorrow. Adam had been wondering that Curt was so quiet after the incident with Bridget. He hadn't behaved inappropriately to the children nor to Bridget or to him when they had bumped into each other by chance. But it looked like peace was over after five weeks.  
"Who else would it have been?"

"Adam, you were in Virginia City for several hours. It could have been anyone in town who put it under your saddle."

When Tom saw Adam's cheekbones twitching several times he put his hand on his friend's arm. "Stay calm Buddy. He only wants to push you in a certain direction. Don't give him this pleasure and, Buddy, ..." Tom looked at his friend very seriously. "... only try to come into town if nothing else works. I've seen Mr Winfield talking to Mitch and I can't imagine the two simply talked about the weather."

"Rusty, come on."

Without addressing Tom again, Adam cautiously climbed into the saddle and left town. Halfway home, he remembered that he wasn't quite sure if he still had enough ointment for his back at home and since he wanted to avoid the double way he directed Sport to the farm.

XXXXX

Even though he knew it was silly he didn't get the thought out of his mind all afternoon. So Hoss hurried his work at Peterson's, declined his wife's cake with a heavy heart and set out on his way home. Time and again the lines of the letter appeared before his eyes. And just as often he told himself that someone was only making a bad joke. Hoss hadn't yet reached the farm as Rusty was already running toward him. When he saw Adam's horse standing in front of the house he no longer believed in a bad joke. He dismounted and tried to stay calm and not to imagine what he was about to expect.

As he pushed the door open, Koko and Adam turned startled in his direction. Hoss didn't need to ask to know what was going on. His brother stood shirtless in front of the settee and Koko was right next to him holding to his arm. Hoss didn't need even three steps to be at his brother and grab him. Before Adam could say anything, Hoss gave him such a punch in the face that just the kitchen table stopped him. With a loud groan Adam hit the ground. Without paying attention to Koko, Hoss went to give Adam a good talking-to. With one hand he pulled his brother off the ground, but before he could draw back again, his wife grabbed him by the arm and shouted at him as loudly as she could he ought to stop at once. Although Adam was still quite dazed Hoss simply let go of him and he slumped back to the floor. Immediately, Koko hurried to Adam and helped him sit down on the kitchen chair.  
"Hoss, can you tell me what's going on?"

His eyes focused on Adam Hoss was still panting with rage like an angry bear. "Now I know at least why you didn't mind I went out to the Peterson's every Friday."

"What's Peterson got do with the fact that you set off on Adam?"

Hoss took the letter from his pocket and handed it to his wife. She put her hand over her mouth and her gaze resembled that of Hoss. "I hope you don't believe a single word!"

"I must if I find him here this way."

Koko touched her husband's arm. "Hoss, he just came here by chance. He has fallen from his horse in town and has hit his back. Adam only wanted to pick up his ointment. I just had the intention of looking at his back, whether I was going to get him a bandage or whether it would be enough if Bridget does it later."

Not really convinced by the words Hoss looked at Koko. She rolled her eyes, walked over to Adam and pushed him with the upper body on the table which Adam only commented with a new groan. Koko couldn't hide how angry she was, not only about the letter, but also about Hoss believing such a mischief. "If you think I just came up with this story you can even ask your brother why his back is so bruised and red. Surely you have contributed your part but he had a lot of it before."

With big eyes Hoss looked at Adams back. Then he raised his shoulders and pressed his lips together trying to look at Koko a little guiltily. "Don't look at me like that, I'd rather take care of your brother. The poor man has already gotten a lot today and then you come and beat him half to death."

Hoss went to Adam and helped him up again. "Hey big brother, we'll be alright again?"

His head didn't raise but only his eyes looked at Hoss. "Why?"  
He couldn't utter anything more. Still embarrassed, Hoss kneaded his fingers. "Well, I ... the letter ... oh Adam, I'm so sorry."

Koko handed her friend a glass of water and a wet cloth. "Maybe this will help you."

Adam rubbed the cloth over his face. The cold water really helped him to think a little clearer again. Then Koko handed him the letter from Hoss. It cost him a lot of strength not to jump up and ride into town to shoot Curt. But as with the thistles he had no evidence that the teacher was involved. So he put the letter on the table and took a deep breath. "Hoss, how can you believe a word of what's written there? I assured long ago that I would never get so close to Koko again."

Shyly, Hoss pushed the letter back and forth on the table. "Well, today is Friday and the person who wrote the letter said you are here every Friday with Koko when I'm not here and you don't just share a cup of tea."

"Hoss, did Adam and I even once give you the feeling that you can't trust us?"

His eyes wandered from his brother to his wife then Hoss shook his head. "No, you didn't. I don't know why I couldn't think of that, but when I saw Adam standing there ... "

Carefully, Adam rose from the chair. "Hoss, I'm sorry you're going to be involved in the story with Curt. I have no idea how to end this matter without harming anyone."

"It's important that as a family we stick together and don't quarrel because of such sneaky actions. But it's especially important, Wynono, that you control yourself. I'd bet that Curt is just waiting for you in town to come furiously after him after what happened today."

With a very small smile Adam looked at Koko. "I surely won't take one step more than necessary today. If not already the fall of Sport had taken its toll, then definitely the blow of my dear brother."

Koko took his hand and pulled him to the settee. There she rubbed his back and fixed the leaves again with a bandage. Hoss escorted his brother home and on the way he apologized at least a heartfelt hundred times for believing that Adam and Koko would have more than a deep friendship.

XXXX

"Tell me, what's going on with you today?"

During their break Tyler, Riccardo and Sarah were standing by the trees with Bernardo and Aiyana, looking questioningly at Adam's children. Aiyana raised her shoulders and looked with an evil glance at the school building. "Atè wasn't at dinner yesterday and today not at breakfast."  
Instantly Sarah grabbed her arm and looked worried at her. "What's this about my brother?"

"We don't know for sure. Aiyana has only heard that Hoss brought home Dad and not feel well."

They all looked at Bernardo's sister, who was still glaring to the schoolhouse. "I didn't understand everything, but Mr Winfield must have done something but they had no evidence to go to the Sheriff."

Thoughtfully, Sarah pinched her eyes. "I think something must have happened before. Pa went to the camp instead of Wynono in the last few days and Mr Winfield hasn't been with us ever since."

Aiyana crossed her arms and with an unchanged glance she looked at her friends. "He must disappear. He's an evil man. His heart knows no love."

"But what shall we do? We cannot scalp him and I don't think he really believes you can witch."

Sarah tilted her head. "She may not be able to witch, Tyler, but ..."

Riccardo instantly whistled. "Friends, I would be prepared for a severe punishment. If Winona looks this way, then nothing good comes out."

"Nothing good for teachers, but good for us. If he will leave again."

With her hands in her pockets Sarah walked in a circle and nibbled at her lip.  
"Maybe we won't get rid of him but we could start to make his life a bit difficult. If we do it well, the suspicion won't fall on us either. Are you with us?"

For a moment, the children looked at each other. Then they put their hands together and grinned.  
"Let's dig up the hatchet. If everything works as I believe, we can go into battle in just a few days."

"Wípȟemnayaŋ t'á"

Tyler looked questioningly at his friends. "What did you say?"

Aiyana proudly raised her head. "To die in battle is to die as a warrior."

Tyler withdrew his hand with wide eyes. "Sarah, what are you up to?"

"Winona is my name and it's time that you also get an Indian name like all of us who go to war."

She pulled Tyler closer and they formed a tight circle listening to Sarah's plan.

XXXX

Puzzled, Bridget looked at the letter. "The lessons are cancelled again? Why this?"

Without looking at Bernardo, Aiyana answered her mother. "We don't know exactly but Mr Winfield suddenly had a very red face, his eyes watered and he left the classroom. Later Doc Martin came and said that for the rest of the week the lessons would be cancelled. He told us what we all should write in the letter and then we were allowed to go."

Once again, Bridget crossed the lines. "Didn't Mr Winfield have trouble with his stomach last week?"

"Looks like he's eating bad things."

For a long time Bridget looked at her two children. Somehow she got the feeling that the two knew more than they told. "All right. Then you can help me with the wash the next few days and you, Bernardo, will get your chores from your father but I think you'll have help from Riccardo."

That the children knew more, Bridget realized when they agreed without protest to what she had said.  
"Mamà, can we ride with the others to my land in the afternoon?"

Now Bridget crossed her arms and tried to look at Aiyana as rigidly as she did.  
"You've been to your old village very often lately ... I thought you finished the grave site with Tyler?"

Her daughter didn't look down.  
"We did, but ..." Now she looked down and Bridget knew that she wouldn't get to know the whole truth. "... we love to play there."

"Your games don't mean trouble for the family?"

The eyes of Bernardo flashed to Aiyana. But she tried to keep calm. "No more than usual."

"Aiyana ..."

"Mamà, we don't do anything really forbidden. ... Winona and I explain to the others only some ... Indian customs."

She looked intently at the two children. "You two know very well that we educate you differently than most parents and you don't get punished in the barn. But you should know one thing, your father has a lot of understanding but if you do something that harms the good reputation of the family he can get pretty angry."

Bernardo and Aiyana looked at her proudly. "Mamà, we will always defend the honour of the family. Even with our lives." 

Bridget groaned softly, grabbed Aiyana by the shoulder and continued her way into the dining room. "And that's what scares me a little."

XXXXX

Koko had been walking for about an hour to collect some herbs so she could treat Nick's cough and replenish the stock of Adam's ointment. She already had her basket half filled and wanted to look at the small clearing before returning to her horse. Briefly she tilted her head and wasn't sure if she hadn't just heard the voices of children. But then she shook her head. Hardly anyone got lost here and certainly not any children. They were too afraid of this area.

She hadn't quite reached the clearing when she heard a crack behind her. Slowly she turned around and shrugged. Not ten yards ahead of her stood Curt and he smiled at her. Koko quickly tried to pull herself together. In no case did she want the teacher to realize how uncomfortable she felt. "Hello, Koko. Nice to see you again."

Koko held the basket tighter but only for the reason to get to her knife that was lying on top. "Curt, ..."

He shook his head with an exaggerated smile. "Well, I really don't know what I did wrong that you all are so unkind to me."

"You're not really expecting an answer?"

He came closer and looked into her face. "Mmh, I really believed that it could be seen when dear Hoss gets really mad, or did he vent his anger on Adam? It wasn't planned that way, but fine anyway."

"I don't know what you mean."

Now Curt laughed loudly. "Of course you know. Your husband has come back earlier from the Petersons to see if there is any truth in the letter." He rubbed his hands. "And the best thing for me was to see that my good friend Adam was really with you on Friday. Unfortunately, I couldn't see how it ended because I had an appointment. What a pity! But you can tell me. Today I have a lot of time."

Hastily Koko wondered how she could get rid of Curt. For she wouldn't put anything past him. Also, that he could kill her here in the woods right away, just to provoke Adam. Then a smile crossed her face.  
"Curt, you're pretty brave to come here. Don't you know what's said about this part of the forest?"

Again Curt laughed loudly. "Do you really think I believe these horror stories?"

"Are you sure these are only stories? Last year, two white men died here."

With his hands akimbo, he didn't stop laughing. Then his face became very serious and he spat on the ground, laid his head back, waited a moment, then laughed again. "You see, Koko, your Great Spirit doesn't care what I'm doing here. I'm not a little kid who can be scared."

"I wouldn't be so sure. The white man has brought much suffering to this part of the land. The ghosts of Kajika's tribe are still here and they won't stand by and watch a white man plying his dreadful trade."

Curt was only a short distance away from Koko. "You're just afraid I'm gonna hurt you, but you needn't be. I promised someone else that he could have fun with you. I wi…."

"AKHÒGLÀ NA."

Thunderstruck, Curt took a step back when he heard a voice that had clearly come from above.

"WÀNCÀG"

"What's that?"

Although Koko had no idea what was happening, she smiled. "This is the Great Spirit. You shall leave the forest, NOW! In your case I'd do it. The Great Spirit doesn't repeat himself."

The arrogant smile had disappeared from Curt's face. Pretty pale he looked upward. Koko took a step closer to him and held her knife under his nose. "Curt, if I hear once again that you are trying to harm Adam or Bridget, I will pick you up at night with the whole tribe of the Gosiute and bring you back to this forest. We will celebrate each of your fearful cries ... and Curt, ..." With the tongue Curt licked his lips. His mouth was dry and the anger and determination in Koko's eyes just didn't make his courage return to him. "... I don't need any proof."

„Wakȟáŋ Tȟáŋka líla wakȟáŋ na líla wašʼáke."

As the voice now sounded much closer Curt turned around and ran as fast as he could to his horse and took off. Koko waited until she was sure Curt couldn't see her anymore. Then she crossed her arms and looked into the woods. "I've noticed that the Great Spirit is very powerful and now I'd like to see him."

The first thing Koko heard was a giggle. Then she saw Riccardo, Sarah, Tyler, Aiyana and Bernardo coming out from behind the trees with a broad grin.  
"Hello, Koko."

"Hello, you five and thank you. Although I'm wondering what you're doing here."

"We've been in the old village of Aiyana and then we saw that Curt was here with you. Since we heard that he wasn't quite friendly we thought we would help you."

"I thank you, Riccardo, but how ..." She looked up.

Aiyana pulled a rolled sheet of paper out of her pocket. "That was Bernardo's idea. He said we had to act as if we were the Great Spirit. Then Mr Winfield would certainly get scared. And to disguise my voice I've used this sheet."

Tyler pointed to a nearby tree. "Aiyana climbed up very quickly and spoke as loud as she could."

"Yes, I've heard that."

Koko had to smile. She just thought how easy it would have been for her and Adam back in school if they would have had such friends. Certainly, none of the other children dared to say anything against Aiyana because they knew they would have to mess with all five. "And what did you do in the village?"

Suddenly everyone was silent and looked at each other. Then Koko's eyes fell on Sarah's basket which contained several leaves and herbs.  
"Sarah, can you tell me what you're up to with the contents of this basket?"

As innocent as possible, she tried to look at Koko. "Tea?"

"Well, if you need that for a tea you have neither properly listened to me nor the shaman."

Riccardo went next to Sarah and put his arm around her. "Winona and Aiyana just explain the different herbs to us. Nothing more."

"You guys are interested in the healing powers of herbs?"

For confirmation, the boys nodded.  
"Winona, ... you cannot tell me that you don't know what these leaves are for."

Koko looked at Adam's sister very seriously. Then Aiyana stepped forward and crossed her arms. "We are on the warpath. We were forced to dig up the hatchet to defend the honour of my new tribe. My warriors and I have already won several victories."

One by one, they stood next to Aiyana and crossed their arms, looking proudly at Koko with their heads held high.

"Well, ... so you are now a great war chief, Aiyana?"

"Yes, I am and I'm very proud of my warriors."

"And if I may guess, your enemy has just fled with flying colors?"

„Háŋ."

"Then you're also responsible for the recent poor health of your teacher?"

„Háŋ."

"Winona, ..." Sarah knew what Koko would tell her now and she looked down and blushed slightly. "... what was one of the first things I told you when I showed you the different herbs?"

First Sarah's voice was very quiet. "I should never harm anyone else with my knowledge, but ..." Now she raised her head again. "... in war you sometimes have to hurt the other to force him to peace. I learned that from Wynono."

Koko took Sarah's basket and poured it out. "I want you to please stop that. While I think Wynono would be very proud to hear you all defend the honour of the family I urge you not to interfere. Leave it to us adults. Can I rely on you?"

The children looked disappointed to the ground.  
"Aiyana, you and your warriors have won a big victory today, because I think that Mr Winfield won't do anything against you or another in the near future. But now it's our job to ensure that you get a new teacher after Summer."

Adam's daughter exhaled deeply and raised her head. "But if you don't succeed, I will dig up the hatchet again."

"You can do this - if you have first obtained the advice of your peace chief."

"Atè?"

"That's the one. Now get your horses and then we all ride to the farm. With any luck, Hoss has left some of the cake."

At that on all five faces the smiles returned and they quickly ran to their horses. Koko looked after them and her eyes became serious. If she had understood Curt correctly he was no longer working alone, making him twice as dangerous and as it looked she was his next destination.


	86. Chapter 86

„Tȟaspáŋ waŋží yačhíŋ he?"

Amazed, Sophie looked at Chesmu. Both were sitting on the porch outside the house and Chesmu held out a bowl of apple pieces. "Do you want one more?" 

With a nod, Sophie took a piece of apple. "Will you stay with us for lunch?"

Chesmu shrugged. "I don't know. Até is in the village with the Pa of Aunt Koko and Mamà ..." Chesmu spread his arms out. "... has sooooo much to do."

"Like my mum. She has scolded Pa today that he has made his good shirt dirty and she's got no time to wash."

Thoughtfully Chesmu nibbled at his apple piece. "Ma's always have a lot to do."

"Hmm, and Pa's not. Mine doesn't have to work anymore. He always has time and plays with us."

Again Adam's son handed her the bowl. "Até is on the road all day with Little Joe and goes drinking beer with Tom."

"I wanted to help Ma to wash up, but she said I'd rather play with you."

"If I'm grown up and a Pa, then I will always help. Is Granny always as tired as Ma?"

With a big piece of apple in her mouth, Sophie nodded. "She's at your place every day to help Bridget because Aydo is never at home."

Chesmu's eyes wandered over the courtyard. "We could wash the shirt of lalá Ben!"

Sophie looked to the laundry room and was quite pleased with Chesmu's proposal. "Come on, let's see if the shirt is in the laundry room."

Adam's son put the bowl aside and they both ran there. "Here it is."

Sophie held her father's shirt in her hand. Instantly Chesmu was with her. "And what are we doing now?

He looked at her questioningly. Sophie looked around, shrugging. "Mum always makes the laundry wet, then hangs it up."

Both looked into the trough, but there was no water. "And now?"

Chesmu breathed heavily, then his face brightened again. "I know where there's water in a bin."

"Where?"

"Behind the house."

Sophie also began to smile. "Yes, there's still some water from the last rain."

With the shirt in their hands, they were about to leave the laundry room when Sophie's eyes were caught by the small pile of laundry. "We could wash even more clothes. Then Mum will be happy."

Immediately, Chesmu grabbed some pieces of the laundry pile. Sophie also took some. They ran proudly to the rain barrel behind the house. At first they hesitated, but then threw all the clothes they had into the bin and waited. "What do we have to do now, Sophie?"

Again Ben's daughter looked at the laundry. "Mum adds something to make it clean."

"Wait …"

Chesmu jumped from the little bench they had pushed in front of the bin and returned with a handful of sand. "Até has said that you can get the plates clean again with sand. He does it when he's away a long time."  
He threw the sand into the rain barrel but both felt that it wasn't enough. So each of them got some more sand. "We need a big stick to stir."

"There, Chesmu."

Sophie pointed to a long stick lying in the garden. Immediately the boy took the stick and both of them stirred the clothes in the bin vigorously. After a while they pulled out Ben's shirt and looked at it with horrified eyes. Softly whispered Chesmu. "Why isn't it white?"

The voice of Sophie wasn't much louder. "Maybe it's not the right shirt."

They looked into the bin and took out one piece of laundry after another and laid it on the ground. "Will things get clean again when you hang them up?" 

Sophie shook her head. "No, if Mum hangs them on the line they're clean and they don't smell so strange."

Chesmu bent over the laundry and smelled it. "No, the wash of Mamà doesn't smell so. We did something wrong or we forgot something Sophie. Those things don't look nice."  
Sophie looked at the dirty clothes with her shoulders hanging. Then she screamed with pleasure. "The pot …"

"Pot?"

"Pa said the shed must look neat again and then he painted it white."

As fast as they could, they ran to the shed and searched for the pot of paint and ran back to the rain barrel.

Ben picked up the bowl and wondered where they could be. He had only briefly talked to Joe about the next few weeks. As he soon wanted to go with Clement to Genoa, he had been talking very insistently with his youngest son telling him again he should take more care of his chores at the ranch, instead of only preparing for the next Saturday night off. He hoped that Joe would stick to it so that when he came back from his trip, he didn't find one of his two sons had become so annoyed that he had left the Ponderosa.

Ben looked around and then went to the barn but even there he couldn't find Chesmu and Sophie. He didn't want to go to the kitchen and ask Emillia where the two could be, since he would surely be told that he wasn't even able to take care of two small children for just an hour. Then he heard a chuckle behind the house. He walked toward the voices and then stopped with a look of disbelief. Chesmu and Sophie crouched on the ground and laughed. They plunged their hands into a pot of white paint and then they stroked a shirt on the ground. Before they put their hands in the paint bucket again they smeared them on the other's face. Ben closed his eyes and shook his head hoping that the picture would change if he was to look at the two children again.  
"Sophie, ... Chesmu, what are you doing?"

Both children raised their heads and grinned at him. "Lalá Ben, we've made your shirt pretty again."

"Yes, Pa ..." Sophie proudly showed him the shirt. "... now you can go away tomorrow and when we are finished with Mum's wash, we go to Chesmu's Ma and help her."

The two beamed at him so proudly and happily that Ben didn't know whether he should scold them or not. With only two fingers he took the shirt and with only one look he knew already that this shirt was beyond saving. He put a hand on each of them, trying to smile.  
"I think you need a wash too and your mothers would agree."

XXXXX

Adam had to exhale deeply as he dismounted. He had vowed not to interfere any more in this matter and he really tried. But he would make a bet right away that it would end with the two just as he suspected. One day his brother would be standing in front of his door asking him what he should do. Adam didn't need to try to talk with them. Little Joe had no intention of listening to him and just as Dianne looked at Little Joe breaking horses, Adam could tell her whatever he liked. She wouldn't believe him that Joe was once again with Amy at the lake this weekend.

Dianne didn't even notice Adam standing next to her. Only when he spoke to her she winced slightly but didn't turn her gaze from Joe. "Hello, Dianne. Nice to see you, though I'm very sure your dad doesn't know you're here."

Briefly she looked at him, but immediately her eyes wandered back to Joe. "Good afternoon, Mr Cartwright. I told my father that I'm going out for a little ride and then my way has led me here by chance."

Now she turned to Adam and looked at him slightly angry. "Mr Cartwright, why don't you and my father trust Little Joe? If he says he just goes out with me I believe him. He said he loves me and noone else."

It took Adam a lot of strength not to tell her with whom his brother had met lately. He tried to be as diplomatic as possible though as he didn't want to interfere. "Dianne, you two are still very young. Just go out with another boy and you'll see if Little Joe's really your great love."

Dianne leaned back against the fence and looked at Joe. "I don't need to go out with anyone else to know that and Joe feels the same way. Your brother Hoss has already married at nineteen, too."

Now Adam also leaned at the fence, rolled his eyes and then watched in silence as Joe brought the horse to a halt. With his typical look, his brother turned to Dianne and smiled at her, but the moment he saw Adam, his facial features changed and with a very challenging step he came to join them. "Do you have nothing to do, Adam?"

"Hello, Little Joe."

Today Joe wouldn't make him respond because he wouldn't go on to interfere. Adam would simply ignore what was going on between the two.  
"I still have a lot to do but first I wanted to see how ..."

Joe jumped over the fence and stood right in front of Adam. "You wanted to interfere in my life again? What did you tell Dianne? That I'm not good enough for her?"  
Adam looked up and breathed deeply. "Come on. Say it!"

"Joe, ..." 

Little Joe turned to Dianne. "What did he say to you? You didn't just stand side by side silently. I know my brother. He can never stay out of my affairs."

"Joe .."

Adam went to put his hand on Joe's shoulder as he pushed it away immediately.  
"So Dianne, what did he say?"

Dianne stood there pretty intimidated and looked at the two brothers. "He, ... well, .. he has just suggested that I should go out with others sometimes, but only ..."

Forcefully Joe hit Adam's shoulder. The latter then only tried to gather his thoughts and to remain calm. "Did you say that?"

"Joe, stop it, ..."

The next blow to Adam's shoulder was so strong that he staggered backward. "Did you say that?"

"Yes, I did but .." Before Joe could strike again Adam held his brother's hand. "I'll go now Little Joe and you should cool down. I was only here because I wanted to tell you how pleased I am with your work with the horses and since you're already finished with all your chores I wanted you to take the afternoon off. But apparently you're still a little boy who cannot cope with too much freedom."

The way Adam released Joe's hand, he felt very clearly how angry his brother was. "Adam, .."

Adam raised his hand. "Just go on, Joe. YOU have to live with the consequences of your actions, not me."  
He took the reins and mounted. "Oh Joe, did you happen to see Rusty? I've been looking for her all morning."

Joe was torn about what to say to his brother. But he also sensed how much Adam had to control himself in order not to let the dispute escalate. So he put his hands in his pockets and looked up at him. "She ran along here earlier. I had the feeling that she was looking for something. She was very restless."

"Thanks."

He nodded to the two and rode on to the main house.

XXX

Slowly, Steve closed the door, but immediately looked out the window to the street. Quite amazed by his deputy, Tom leaned back in the chair waiting for him to turn but that didn't happen.  
"Do I have to worry about what's going on out there or did a carriage arrive with new girls for the saloon?"

"Mmhhh."

As Steve said nothing more Tom got up, went next to him and looked out to the street without seeing anything extraordinary. "Can you tell me, or do I have to guess?"

"The guy who leans over there at that post has arrived in town three days ago. At first I didn't pay attention to him because he arrived with a little girl but now ... "

Tom looked at the man on the other side of the street. For him there wasn't anything unusual about him. "What did he do that he might be of interest to us?"

"Actually nothing, but ... I do not know ..."

"Steve, can you get a little more detailed? He must have done something, otherwise you wouldn't even keep an eye on him."

"Well, ..." The deputy placed his hands on his belt and narrowed his eyes slightly to find the right words. "... hardly after he has rented a room, he has already asked questions everywhere. Today he was at Doc Martin ..."

Steve looked out of the window again and didn't go on talking. Since Tom knew that his deputy was someone who seemed to know beforehand who would cause trouble and who wouldn't, he believed him that something was wrong with that guy. "What questions does he ask?"

"About the problems in town ... about you and your friendship with Adam Cartwright."

Instantly Tom's hackles raised and he stood up straight in front of the window. With a completely different glance he looked at the man, then the Sheriff nodded slowly. "Then I'm going to talk with our guest."

He took his hat and left the office.

The man didn't move a mite as Tom stood next to him. He was still looking to the store on the other side. "Your deputy needed quite a long time to tell you that he has an eye on me."

Tom also looked at the other side of the street but from the corner of his eye he watched every movement of this guy. "I never liked strangers who come to my town and gather information about me or my friends from the townsfolk."

The man crossed his arms but didn't look away. "I'm no stranger. I have officially introduced myself at Mrs Hawkins and if your deputy had only once inquired there, you would know well who I am."

"I don't know your name but I'd bet my badge that you are from the Bureau of Indian Affairs."

"Yes, I've alredy heard you belong to a different kind of sheriff than those usually found in such a small town."  
The man now stood straight and held out his hand to Tom. "My name's Simon Jenkins and I come in fact from the Bureau of Indian Affairs. I have the order to take care of your Indian problem."

Tom looked at the hand and shook it briefly. "Sheriff Brookstone, but I guess you already know that and Mr Jenkins ..." Tom put his hands on his belt. "... in my town there is no Indian problem."

Mr Jenkins put his index finger to his lips and raised his eyebrows. "No? ... but I have other information."

Tom stared at the eyes of the man in front of him. "They're wrong. So you can get the next coach and tell your boss that the case has been settled."

With a slight smile Jenkins pointed to the small shop on the other side. "You know, Sheriff, I was briefly in this small delightful shop and imagine what I've seen and heard there."

"You would have neither seen nor heard anything illegal that needed me to act."

Briefly, Jenkins' tilted his head. "I thought you take your job seriously, but the way it looks ... Sheriff, there were some children in the shop and among them was an Indian girl, which was easily visible by her clothes and not just that. No, I haven't even understood a single word about what the children were talking and now you tell me again that you have no Indian problem."

Tom hadn't looked at the shop, his eyes were still focused on the man in front of him. "Yes, we have no Indian problem here in town or around. Men like you are having a problem with Indians and Jenkins, ..." Tom tapped the man with his fingers hard against his chest. "... if I only just see you near the children or another Indian I will quickly forget that I wear a badge. Believe me, I'm not just talking."  
For the first time during this conversation Tom looked at his opponent in surprise. Jenkins smiled at him, but it wasn't an arrogant or nasty smile, but a friendly one. "I don't doubt that for a second, Sheriff."

Astonished, Tom watched the man going down the street. Whatever this guy was up to, Tom would ride to Adam to warn him about Jenkins.

XXXX

"Hello, Pelipa."  
Adam tied Sport and looked around. "Is Hoss here?"

Pelipa took Nick in her arms and went to meet Adam. "Yes, he's in the house with Koko. I was just going down to the lake with the two boys."

Adam knelt before Travis and stroked his hair. "Will you bring me a fish?"

His nephew's eyes grew wide. "I do ... don't want eat ... play."

Laughing, Adam stood up. "Yes, we'll let it swim in your washing bowl."

Pelipa also began to giggle. "Wynono, he might believe you and then Koko has to explain to him that you were just fooling around."

"I'm not fooling around. Every boy needs an animal to take care of and Travis just gets a fish."

With a wink Adam went to the house. The door was ajar and cautiously Adam stepped into the living room. He was about to call out when he saw Koko and Hoss standing in the kitchen. Even if he knew it weren't good manners, he leaned against the settee, crossed his arms and grinned. Adam was, as always when he saw the two this way, surprised by himself that there had never been a time when it had bothered him to see Koko with another man and above all with his brother. On the contrary, he was glad Hoss was her husband. So he didn't need to be afraid that anybody could harm her. The way Hoss held and kissed Koko, his brother couldn't show more clearly how much he loved his wife. And anyone who would only dare to get close to Koko with bad intention would get his head choped off by Hoss. Koko had told them both what had happened in the woods and instantly the brothers knew the partner of Curt could only be Mitch. He was the only one who had been trying to get close to Koko for years only to provoke Adam. They had decided that in the near future Koko was to go nowhere alone. Which of course she had vehemently rejected.

Since it didn't seem that the two had noticed that he was in the house Adam cleared his throat a bit louder. Startled Hoss looked in his direction. Koko, who had immediately recognized him by his voice leaned her head against Hoss' chest. "Wynono, don't you have anything to do on the ranch?"

Adam pushed away from the settee and went to the kitchen took a cup and poured himself some tea. Then he sat down at the kitchen table and grinned at them. "No, I just had some time and I thought I'd drop by and say hello. Besides, you have sent the boys to the lake, so we can talk in peace."

Koko turned and glared at him a little angry but she couldn't resist a slight smile. "Oh, believe me, Wynono, I too will like to talk to you when you are alone with Bridget at the lake.

"Um, Koko, ..." Koko just turned her head to her husband. "... I .. well, Adam and I had an appointment. We wanted to go to town."

Disappointed Koko dropped her shoulders. "Why didn't you say so beforehand? Then Pelipa wouldn't have had to go to the lake with the kids."

Hoss raised his shoulders. "I somehow forgot." 

Groaning, Koko shook her head and then looked back at Adam. "And you can stop the grin."

Adam emptied the cup and stood up. "Hoss, I'm going to town alone. Tom was looking for me anyway and if he's in a good mood, I can surely persuade him to go for a beer with me. Besides, Pelipa has just left, so you have ... "

He didn't go on when he got one of those looks from Koko, who told him it was better to keep his mouth shut.

"And you're not mad, Adam?"

Slowly Adam walked past Koko, who still looked at him crushingly and then hit his brother against his arm. "No, we can go to town next week."

Hoss pulled Adam by the arm to the door and Koko stood motionless with arms crossed in the kitchen, watching him. "See you soon, Koko ..." Adam eyebrows raised, looking to Hoss. "... She's not really angry with me, is she?"

Both were now standing at the door and Hoss put his hands in his pockets. "You know for yourself how it is. There's a lot to do on the farm and Travis is constantly running away. Well and since Nick's crawling, ... "

"But now that Pelipa is with you every day it's not quite so bad. Besides, Aponi is often here."

Hoss took his hands out of his pockets and tapped Adam with his finger against the shoulder. "Yes, there's always someone there ... just like in the kitchen ..." 

Adam raised the pointing finger and smirked. "Then you should close the door in future ..."

"Very funny, big brother. You could have just walked away ..." Both grinned. " ... but you're right. As sad as it is, we will have more time for us thanks to Pelipa."

Adam also looked very seriously in the direction of the village. "Don't you think that will pass away with time?" 

"Adam, you know exactly how stubborn the Indians can be. Even if everyone actually knows that she hasn't deceived her husband, a bit of the story always sticks to her. She can be glad that Amarok allows her to live on in the village although most of them avoid her. Unfortunately ..." He sighed sadly. "We'll see what it'll look like in the coming months. The only thing that matters is that she's treated with respect and dignity."

Now Adam looked down to the lake. "I hope for her that she will be reintegrated. She didn't deserve to be expelled. First she had to marry a man whom she didn't love and then he spread such a story just because he had met another woman and didn't want to keep her as his wife."

Hoss also looked angrily toward the lake. For many years both had known Pelipa who lived in the village and, like Adam, Hoss had had a hard time understanding that she had to marry a man for whom she had no feelings. And only because he didn't leave her any choice after he had previously visited her at night in her teepee and took from her what he was entitled, in his eyes. "Koko and I are just glad that she hasn't lost her cheerful way. But probably she's also relieved that the guy is finally gone. Well now, big brother, get going on your way to town so I can spend some time with my wife."

Adam mounted and tried to look at Hoss as seriously as possible. "I hope I've left nothing on the table ... But if I did I'll just come back."

Laughing, Hoss slapped his brother on the thigh. "Adam, that would be the moment when your beloved Koko would throw you into the next snake pit."

With a broad grin Adam took the reins in his hand and was about to go as something occurred to him. "Hoss, did you see Rusty? I've been looking for her since yesterday. Although Little Joe says he saw her this morning I don't want to rely on that."

While Hoss thought he stroked Sport. "I think Rusty's looking for a quiet place."

Horrified, Adam looked at him. "She's not that old at all."

"Big brother, why do you always think of dying? I'm assuming you'll have a lot of offspring in your house."

"Nonsense. We should have noticed that. Besides, she always bit wary of anyone who came too close to her."

"One probably must have found the right words. Adam, she hasn't been with you the last few weeks and has been looking for her rest."

"She has always been pretty lazy."

Shaking his head, Hoss gave Adam's horse one last pat and then turned back to the house. "You'll see I'm right. See you, big brother."

Thoughtfully Adam looked after Hoss, as he entered the house. Then he shook his head and headed for town.

XXXXX

"Adam, ..." 

Adam tied Sport and looked in the direction from which the voice came. Waving Doc Martin came running towards him. As soon as the doctor had reached him he held Adam by the arm and looked around. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Adam nodded and immediately a hundred thoughts shot through his mind what Paul probably wanted to discuss with him. That it was about something serious could clearly be seen. Adam realized that his heart beat faster and he clenched his teeth to keep his emotions under control. The doctor pulled him into the small side street and looked around. When he was sure noone could hear them he looked at Adam seriously and worried. "Adam, it's about two things, but I bet they belong together."  
Adam didn't move and he didn't say anything and Paul continued. "Your father had asked me where Mr Winfield could know what was going on with you. That he heard it from me. I could immediately rule out since I only talked with you about it. But a few days later I remembered something. One morning I came in my office and had a strange feeling. As if someone has been there through the night. I looked around, but nothing was missing. The only thing was that my chair was different and I had to replenish the oil in my lamp in the evening, which surprised me because I thought there was still enough."

Adam took a deep breath. "You have, of course, written down everything about my injuries."  
"Of course Adam and how the predictions look like. Should I drop down dead tomorrow, my successor would be immediately informed of what's going on. I do this with all my patients, Adam. This is nothing unusual."

"And the second?"

There was still no great emotion with Adam. Just that Paul got the feeling that Adam's eyes were darker than usual. "This morning a man came to see me. He wanted to have some information about you and your children. Especially about Chesmu and Aiyana."

The doctor didn't need to talk further. Adam immediately knew who that was. Now it was clear why Tom had been looking for him. Surely the man had already been to see his friend. "And what did you tell him?"

Slightly outraged Paul looked at him. "Of course nothing, Adam. I told him to talk to you personally and then I kicked him out. I told him very clearly that I'm a friend of the family and he needn't snoop around with me."

"Does the man have a name?"

"Jenkins, Simon Jenkins. He lives with his daughter at Mrs Hawkins."

"Thank you, Paul."

Without another look or another word Adam left the doctor standing in the alley. Briefly, he wondered if he should be looking for Jenkins instantly but then he remembered what he had learned from Amarok. Before you kill your prey, you should know as much as possible about it. Then it would only be a short fight. Therefore, Adam made his way to find his friend, the Sheriff.

Only the next morning Adam could speak with his friend. The day before Tom was on the road as one of the transport waggons had been raided between Reno and Virginia City. In the evening Adam had been sitting outside late into the night looking at the mountains. Not only the anger against Winfield prevented him from sleeping but also the fear of losing Chesmu and Aiyana robbed him of his sleep. He hadn't succeeded in telling Bridget of Jenkins which annoyed him even more. So he had later only fallen into a short and very restless sleep.

As soon as Adam had closed the door of the Sheriff's office his friend looked at the clock in astonishment. "Good morning, Buddy. As so often I'm astonished how quickly messages get to the Ponderosa."  
With a grumpy 'good morning', Adam sat down on the bench.  
"Oh, could it be that you slept badly, Buddy?"

"Jenkins ..."

"Oh ..." Tom sat down on the edge of his table. "... you know that, too?"

Questioning Adam's eyebrow rose. "Too ..?"

Tom took some papers in his hand. "I thought you were here because of Joe."

Adam's head shot up and he was wide awake. "What about Joe?"

"Calm down, Buddy ..."  
Tom raised his hand when Adam jumped up from the bench. "He's sleeping back in my best cell. He had a beer yesterday, much more than he intended, as you did once, and took the saloon apart."

Adam rolled his eyes and sat down again. "You can keep him here until he has slept. I don't pay the bail for his escapades."

"I think you should listen to the story. Yes, Joe's big mouth has already caused him some trouble, but this time his youthful naivety has been pretty exploited.

"Winfield ..."

"Great that we both understand each other without many words. No, joking aside."  
Tom sat down in his chair and went over the documents. "As it turns out, Winfield hadn't invited Little Joe just for a beer. He has pushed him over and over again to show that he's already a real man. That your father should overwrite him the Ponderosa because you won't be able to work there sooner or later. At some point Mitch came to the saloon and it wasn't long and Joe started a fight with him. When I got there Winfield had just given Joe his gun belt, so he could talk with Mitch, as he said so well, as men do."

Slowly Adam exhaled. "Adam, the guy is that cunning. Joe wouldn't have stood a chance against Mitch. And Mitch would have gotten out fine from the situation because Joe started it. I'm assuming that Winfield speculated that you were going to set off for Mitch in your rage. Then Winfield could have gotten rid of you with the argument, he only wanted to help Mitch. They both would have had clean hands and your father might have had to bury two of his sons."

Adam laughed contemptuously. "Tom, tell me what to do? He's constantly trying to incite someone in my family against me and as always, we have nothing in our hands to get rid of him legally."

Helplessly, Tom raised his arms. "Adam, I've no idea what to tell you. Actually, I can only advise you one thing. Take a trip around the world with your family. After that, come back to see if that rat died of natural causes."

For a moment, Adam closed his eyes then looked back at his friend. "No, I won't turn back before any obstacle. We'll get rid of Curt. With legal means and with the man from the Indian authorities, I'll get finished, too. I'm assuming he was already with you?"

"I was with him and I had hoped I could explain to him that I don't need his help." 

"Fine ..." Adam slapped his thighs with both hands and stood up. "... then let me go to see my little brother."

Very carefully, Joe opened his eyes as he heard the celldoor being unlocked. Actually he had expected his father to stand before him. It was all the more astonishing that Adam sat down on the bunk. "Good morning, Joe. I'm not going to assume that you will manage to work today with all your strength?"

Just a slight smile crossed Joe's lips. "I think I will need a little more time today for everything."

"Joe, can you remember what I told you on the cattle drive? What do you watch out for when you go having a beer?"

Eyes focused to the ground, Joe tried to move his head as little as possible. "I'm not supposed to end up with Tom?"

"That's what I told you, but there was something else. ... That you should pay attention with whom you're drinking a beer."

Joe raised his head just a little. "I was on tour with Curt and he's a family friend."

Adam tried to show no emotion when he thought of Curt at that moment.  
"How long has it been since you have seen Curt at the Ponderosa or in my house?"

"I think it's been a bit longer ..."

Joe put his fist to his mouth, hoping that his belly would calm down.  
"Don't you think it's strange that Curt is always looking for your company? And I think, in your talks, I am the main subject."

With his hands on his face and his elbow on his knees, Joe tried to understand Adam's words. Not just because of his heavy head, it took Joe a bit longer, but he tried to remember what they'd always talked about when he'd been with Curt. His head still down, Joe pointed to his brother. "He cannot stand you."

"Yep."

"He tried to make me think bad about you."

"Yep, even though you already do that."

In Joe's head all the memories of Curt and Adam whirled wildly. Adam stood up and laid his hand on Joe's back. "I'll pay your bail."

"Yep."

Out in the fresh air, Joe took a deep breath. Then he looked at Adam, who was standing beside him. "Adam, why don't I always recognize that you just want to help me?"

His brother didn't look at him. He looked straight ahead to the street. "I don't know, Little Joe. You have to tell me why you always have the opinion, I want to do something bad for you or forbid you. All these years I only wanted ... "  
Joe looked at Adam who was now standing with his eyes closed, his cheekbones twitching several times before he continued. "… to protect you. So you don't have to lose your life because of a stupid idea."

Joe turned to Adam. He spoke very softly with his brother. "You mean like my mother ...?"

Adam nodded. "I couldn't stop her then and you're just like her. You're always thinking nothing's gonna happen to you."

Adam opened his eyes and looked at Joe. "I told Pa, he should give you your first gun belt now and not just on your birthday. So that you already have it for your next cattle drive. He wanted to give it to you yesterday, but you were already on your way to town ... "  
Once again, Adam paused. "Joe, if you had already worn it yesterday, Curt would have reached his goal and you'd have picked an argument with Mitch before Tom had been there. You wouldn't be alive now, because you wouldn't have thought of Curt abusing your youth and I would have to live with the fact that I told Pa you're old enough to wear a gun."

Silently, the two brothers looked at each other. "What does Curt want to achieve? Why can't he stand you?" 

"He wants to get rid of me because he thinks this way he's getting through to Bridget and he's trying this by all means."

Joe dropped his head. "I'm sorry, Adam, I didn't see that."

"Joe, look at me, please."  
Hesitantly, Joe raised his head. "Joe, we are one family. We should stick together, no matter what others say or claim. I think there was never a reason that you had to seriously believe we wouldn't love you or accept you. If you get the impression again, I want to bully you, or I don't take you seriously, don't look for help outside. Talk to someone from the family. Talk to Hoss. You trust him and I trust him."

"I'll do, Adam. Promise."  
Embarrassed, Joe watched him going to his horse. "Adam, ...?"  
Adam was just mounting, knowing what his brother wanted him to do. "No, Joe. With Pa, I won't help you. Your special hotelroom you have to explain to him on your own."

"You're not coming with me?"

With a very serious look, Adam looked down the street. "No, I'm going to talk to a new friend."

XXXXX

"Do you want a coffee or perhaps a tea, Mr Cartwright?

Adam was standing at the table where Mr Jenkins was having his breakfast. With a smile Mrs Hawkins held the coffee pot under his nose. "I won't stay long, Mrs Hawkins."

Without looking up, Jenkins lifted his fork and quickly swallowed the piece of bacon that he had in his mouth. "Please bring a cup for Mr Cartwright. He will be joining me. So I'm saving the long way out to the Ponderosa and we can clarify the matter here and now."

Disparagingly Adam tilted his head. Jenkins didn't seem to have anything sneaky on his mind and if Adam didn't know who he was working for, he wouldn't say his behavior was unpleasant. So he accepted the offer and took a seat at the table.

With his elbows on the table and his hands crossed in front of his mouth, he looked at Jenkins. The latter didn't let himself get worked up by Adam and continued his breakfast undisturbed. "Have you already had breakfast, Mr Cartwright? If not, you shouldn't miss this. I don't know the last time I've eaten so well."

"Would you like to talk to me about the weather, too?"

Jenkins lifted his fork again, pointing to Adam. "No, not that, but about the chain you're wearing. Is that an Indian chain?"

"I don't think it's necessary to answer that question."

"Mmh ...," Jenkins wiped his mouth with the napkin and took a sip of coffee. "... since there's hardly anything to the Indians that has no meaning, the snake must also mean something to you. Will you tell me what it is?"

It was still hard for Adam to assess Jenkins and he had to recall the reason why he was here in town." Are you looking for evidence against me?"

"I got that already. No, I'm just interested."

"It shall remind me of my guardian spirit." 

Without any great emotion, Jenkins poured himself another coffee and looked at Adam questioningly who shook his head. The man from the office put the jar back on the table. "So you were on a vision trip ...?"

"How long do you want to play cat and mouse?"

Now Jenkins leaned back and shoved a spoon on the table back and forth. "I've heard that you are very connected to the tribe of the Gosiute for more than twenty years. That you have taken on a lot of their ways. But as it looks, not everything. An Indian shows more patience before he pounces on his enemy."

"We both know the end. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Jenkins raised his head again. "Oh, we know that? Well, I don't know the end yet. "

Jenkins pushed the chair back and stood up. "If you'll excuse me, Mr Cartwright. I have a few other appointments before I meet with the teacher of your children later."

Adam held his breath and tried to get the wrong wolf to lie down again. Jenkins smiled at him and left the room.

XXXX

"And what will we do exactly when we're in the house?"

Tyler looked questioningly into the round, but really noone of the four could give him an answer. Even Aiyana shrugged. "Maybe we'll find something to force him to go."

Riccardo pointed to his forehead. "Are you nuts? Then our parents cannot only pick us up at the Sheriff for burglary."

"And when we make herbs into coffee?"

Aiyana shook her head. "That won't do. Winona has promised not to use any herbs against him."

"We could spread the dung from the barn at his home."

"Great idea, Tyler ..." Riccardo didn't look thrilled. "... but this way we can't get rid of him."

Sarah climbed onto a crate. "I will try to look through the window. Maybe then something will occur to me."

"What are you doing there?" 

The five all turned and looked at a girl standing a few yards ahead of them. Instantly Riccardo took a step towards her. "Would you mind your own business?"

"Well, as scared as you are, it can only be something forbidden."

Aiyana stood legs apart with her hands akimbo next to Riccardo. "Nothing forbidden. We just want to annoy our teacher."

"How childish is that? Has he given you too much homework?"

Sarah jumped from the crate and stood with the others. "You're probably always the favorite at school. Main subject – telling tales about the others."

"Certainly not, but you can be glad that you can attend a school. Especially you." She pointed her head at Aiyana. "You're an Indian or am I mistaken?"

With one step, Aiyana stood very close to the girl. "Do you mind?"

"No. But not many of you have the opportunity to learn to read and write and you want to thank the teacher that you can go to school by breaking into his house? You know what my father always says ... there are three things that are pretty bad. These are stupidity, laziness and cowardice. You are so stupid to break in your teacher's house because you seem to be too lazy to learn and too cowardly to get help because you don't seem to have understood the tasks."

The children looked at each other wonderingly, except Tyler. Now Sarah stood next Aiyana. "But you know already that this is an Indian wisdom?"

"So what? If we'd listen more to the Indians, we could use a lot of it, but what will people say when you break in your teacher's house? Surely, the Indian girl has instigated the others. But if that's what you want."

"You think you're very smart."

Aiyana held Tyler back with her hand when he was about to face the girl. "Who are you and what are you doing here in Virginia City?"

Aiyana's glare was focused at the girl who looked just as confidently. "I'm here for a few days with my father and my name is Sally. Sally Jenkins."

"I'm Aiyana. This is my brother Bernardo. My cousin Riccardo and my ..." Grinning, she looked at Sarah because she knew she couldn't stand what was about to come now. "... Aunt Winona."

Sarah rolled her eyes, groaning and Sally tapped her forehead with a finger, then pointed to Tyler. "And that's certainly your dad. You can just go kidding yourselves." 

Offended, she turned around and went to walk back to main street, but Aiyana grabbed her by the arm. "Please wait. That's the truth. If you know so much about us then you also know that Indians ain't lying."

The children were standing in the alley and noone said a word. Everyone was waiting for Sally to believe them or not. Then Tyler signed his refusal. "Let her go. We don't need her and she herself said she's going to leave Virginia City soon."

"And who needs friends like you."

Each of the five could see how sad Sally looked after Tyler's words. They all shouted after her, when she started to go back. "Sally, no. Please stay."

Riccardo pushed Tyler against the chest with both hands. "For goodnes sake, Tyler! You know how we think. Before you judge anybody look into his heart." 

"You heard her talking. She's a stupid show-off."

With a jerk, Riccardo pulled his friend to the others. "That's what you said of us and now you belong to our tribe. So give her a chance."

Tyler turned to the others with his hands in his pockets. Aiyana raised her head and looked at Tyler. "Apologize to Sally."

"I'm supposed to do WHAT?"

"You have caused a storm in her heart."

"She has had a big mouth here."

"He doesn't need to apologize. I'm used to it and you certainly ain't any different."

Sally wanted to move past Aiyana to leave the alley at last.  
"Sorry, Sally."  
After the others had looked at him very resolutely, Tyler apologized and held out his hand to Sally. At first hesitant, Sally then accepted the apology. "You don't have many friends, am I right?"

She didn't look at Tyler, but looked down at her shoes. "We are never long in one place."

"But you must go to school?"

Sarah looked at her in surprise.  
"In the beginning, I went to school, but not for long. My father teaches me the most."

"But you aren't on the run?"

Surprised, Tyler took a step back, so quickly Sally's head shot up to look at him furiously. "My father's not a bad person. Yes, he has a different opinion than most and he has therefore a lot of trouble, but for me he's the best dad in the world."

Riccardo put his arm around Tyler's shoulder. "Well, I get the impression that Sally could fit in very well with our tribe. We should give her a chance. What does our war chief say?"

Grinning, he looked at Aiyana. She looked at Sarah again. "What does the shaman say?"

"Sally, we'd like to take you into our tribe if you like." 

"I'm only here for a few days ..." 

"Then let's have fun together just for a few days."

Unsure Sally looked from one to the other. "But you don't do forbidden things? Then my dad would be very disappointed in me and I don't want that at all."

"No, we just defend the honor of my family. The teacher has the heart of a false snake. He has no longer the right to be here."

Aiyana spread her arms and the children formed a circle and told Sally exactly why they were fighting Curt. Sally bit her lip and didn't have to think twice whether she should join the others or not. "My dad told me once you have to get to know your opponent exactly and where his weaknesses and strengths are. Only when I exactly know them and have patience, the victory will be mine."

From the side Tyler looked at her. "Your father isn't an Indian?"

For the first time, they heard Sally laugh. "No, but I think he talks like one."

XXXX

Joe looked twice into the forest to be sure of what he saw there. Without turning his eyes away, he dismounted from Cochies. He quietly crept through the bushes and crouched behind the six children, peering over their shoulders. "Something's going to happen? Or do you just squat around?"

The children got such a fright from Joe that they sat down on their butts when turning around. They stared at Little Joe. No one dared to say a word. After what felt like eternity, Sally whispered to Aiyana in the ear and asked who that was. "This is my uncle, Little Joe. He should actually be with my father and not here." 

"And if you didn't always judge your time according to the position of the sun, you would know that it's just before supper."

The children looked horrified. "You're joshing, Joe."

"No, Sarah, I don't. I hope for you you've done all your tasks. Because Pa won't believe any of your stories, like yesterday."

"But we can't get away yet. He's still down there in the hut."

Riccardo pointed to the little valley and everyone looked down. "And who is in the hut?"

"The enemy."

"The enemy. ... Of course and who are you?"

"This is Sally. She belongs to our tribe now."

"Aiyana, you're hatching something out. I see that."

"Hey, here comes someone else."

Excited, Tyler stared into the valley and all turned on their bellies and looked down. Only Joe remained in a squat, trying to recognize the man who was just getting off the horse.  
"This is Mitch. Bernardo, who is still in the hut? "

"Winfield."

Joe had to grin when he heard with how much contempt Bernardo said the name of the teacher.

"What are they talking about?"

"We won't get to know, Aiyana, because you're all mounting your horses and riding home before Tom has to send a posse after you."

"Joe, just a ..."

"Sarah, you'll get enough trouble today so don't make it any worse."

With their heads down and growling they all went to the horses. Before everyone had to ride in a different direction, they agreed to meet the next day after school in town.

XXXX

With his arrogant smile, Curt sat at the table and greeted Mitch. "Well, did you have your fun?"

Furiously, Mitch threw his hat on the table. "Yeah, great fun. Half the day I waited, but she was never alone. One of them always sneaks around her. Either the imbecile giant baby or the wimp. And if neither of the two is there, someone from the stinking village will be watching her."

Curt slammed the flat hand on the table. "How can anyone be so stupid! It can't be so hard to grab this Squaw for an hour."

"Then do it yourself! But the noble gentleman doesn't want to get his hands dirty."

"There you see why I take over thinking for us both. If everyone knows I am behind it, I'll never reach my goal."

"Don't understand what's so special about Adam's wife anyway. I'll just take part in it, because it's against Cartwright. If it was up to me, you'd just have to grab his wife, have some fun with her and tell then it was me. Then I've got him where I always wanted him."  
Mitch pulled his gun out of the holster and pointed to the window. "Right in front of my gun."

Laughing loudly he put the gun back. "If you were to treat a woman with respect, you could also see why she is special. But that's not your kind of thinking."

Curt flinched as Mitch suddenly held the gun against his head. "I'd be pretty careful with that prattle. Maybe I can't talk as pompous as you, but that doesn't mean I'm too stupid to understand what you mean."

Smiling, Curt raised both arms. "Never said that, Mitch. But we must now see how we still reach our goal. Because I'm about to lose my patience."  
Curt got up and went to the window and looked outside for quite some time. He didn't turn around when he spoke to Mitch. "Is it true that Cartwright is about to set up the construction site for the railway project?"

"Yes, the first houses for the workers are already built and some supplies have already arrived."

"Even the nitroglycerin they need to build the tunnels?"  
Mitch was silent and only looked at Curt's back. After a while he turned around slowly. "What's wrong? Haven't you got a tongue in your head?"

"No, I'm just wondering if it might be better to finish working with you. You're insane, if you want to use such means."

Curt crossed his arms. "And I wonder who's the wimp of you two."

"What you up to?"

"Nothing that wouldn't please you. I don't need the entire load. Just a single bottle. A pen and a piece of paper. Nothing more and my wishes will come true and yours too."

"You're crazy."

"You don't even know my intentions."

"Just the thought of what you can do with a single bottle scares me."

"And I always thought you wanted to get rid of the Indians. My goodness, Mitch! It's a simple thing. No big risk. The bottles are transported well packaged. As long as we don't drop any, nothing can happen. We get the bottle and write Cartwright a letter to separate from his wife and to leave town. If he won't, his Indian friends will have a very fast connection to their ancestors."

The mere thought of the nitroglycerin caused Mitch to sweat. "And what do I get from this crazy plan?"

"I'm sure that if Cartwright has accepted my demands and if you catch him out of town and just provoke him with some nice words, he will explode like a stick of dynamite."

Mitch was trying to keep his ears shut as Curt laughed loudly.

XXXXX

Adam narrowed his eyes as he tried to see what Emilie was holding in her hand. But she ran so fast past the kitchen that he had only seen it wasn't her doll. He put the cloth aside and went after her. In vain, he looked around the living room. "Chesmu, did you see Emilie? She was just here."

"She's in the room of Mamà."

"But you shouldn't play there."

"I don't."

Already pretty done by the day, Adam went to Bridget's office. "Emilie, are you here?"  
Slowly, his daughter's head came up from behind the chair. "What are you doing there? You shouldn't play here."

"Da ... da ... púŋka"

"What?" 

"Púŋka" 

"I don't get what you mean."

His daughter disappeared behind the chair and Adam carefully looked over the back of the chair. Suddenly he knew where his shirts had gone which should actually have been washed. He crouched beside the chair. "You mean šuŋȟpúŋka. You picked a special hideout, young lady, but a blanket would have done it and not my shirts."

The eyes of the dog looked at him and slightly she wagged her tail. "Do you have some puppies hidden anywhere Emilie, or are these all of them?"

"Da púŋka."

Adam gently stroked his dog. "You surely mean šuŋȟpála. This means puppies and šuŋȟpúŋka is the bitch with puppies."

"Púŋka."

Adam had to laugh. "Well, we already have one name. Púŋka and if you haven't hid any of them, Emilie, we only need two more."

Adam stood up, walked around the chair and held out his hand to his daughter. "Now let's leave the young mother alone and get you into bed."

"Púŋka .. have ..."

"Púŋka is still there tomorrow when you wake up again."

The moment when Adam went to take his daughter in his arms there was such a loud bang that Adam stopped breathing and Emilie immediately began to cry. When Bridget came running down the stairs with a shocked look he was white as a sheet. He knew immediately that there could be only one cause for such a loud and violent explosion.


	87. Chapter 87

"I'm not sure if we shouldn't drop the whole thing. This is way over our head for us." 

Curt's eyes became very small as he looked at Mitch with a mixture of rage and contempt. "And I'm not sure if I haven't picked the wrong man. You can only talk big but if it comes to the point, you wimp out."

The two men stood with their horses behind a group of rocks observing the road to the construction site of Frederic and Adam. They had heard a delivery with nitroglycerin should arrive tonight. With every minute they stood there Mitch became more nervous. "This is much more than what we discussed at the beginning. I just wanted to have Cartwright in front of my gun but you're talking about a multiple murder. This much I know. No matter if Cartwright responds to your claim or not you're definitely going to blow up the village."

There it was again. That smile of Curt that made Mitch cringe. In his eyes, Winfield was insane and if he could have, he would have immediately ended this partnership. But as he judged the teacher he would either kill him or spread what a coward he was and he didn't want that either. "He should have known that isn't a joking matter and I always get what I want."

Mitch shook his head. "How could someone like you become a teacher? I have rarely seen a man with two such faces."

A slight smile crossed Curt's face. "You know what you earn as a teacher? You can hardly live on that but I have come into circles of which you can only dream."

Now Mitch laughed aloud. "But it looks like that wasn't worth it for you."

In just a blink of the eye Curt had already grabbed Mitch by the collar. "Never laugh about me again. You've got no idea. I had almost made it but I had the bad luck that my wife died before I got access to the money of her parents."

Curt let go of Mitch and looked back at the street. Mitch grabbed his neck and swallowed to get rid of the slightly oppressive feeling left from Curt's grip. "If you're so focused on the money what do you want from Cartwright's wife? She's not poor but there's more to be found elsewhere."

The teacher didn't look at him but looked down the street. "And you ask me why I make the decisions? Not just that she is a special woman. No, her father is rolling in money. He was in the big time in Boston and if she hadn't whined after Cartwright, I could now be living in a big house by the sea."

"And you really think if you get Adam out of the way, she'll come running to you? You can just forget that. She's not that kind. I'll give you my word on that."

"Leave that to me. So far, I've reached all my goals sooner or later."  
Suddenly, a broad grin spread on Curt's face. "There comes luck rolling on wheels."  
Again, Mitch shook his head as he heard the dirty laugh of Curt. The teacher let his horse go but stopped shortly after when he noticed Mitch didn't follow him. "What's going on, Sanders? Are you really just a miserable big talker?"

As Mitch replied, he shook his head constantly. "No, that's too hot for me. One wrong move and the carriage will be blown off. Do you think they will just let us take the goods away?"

Curt was still looking at Mitch as the carriage passed them by not noticing them. If he thought about it more deeply, he had to admit that Mitch was right. He wanted just one bottle and if only one of the two drivers reacted wrongly, the whole wagonload could explode. So he rode back to Mitch and stood close to him. His voice was quiet and threatening. "You're going to ride with me to the construction site and there we will get the bottle. If you dare just one more time not to do what I'm telling you, I'll bump you off outright. Understood?"

Inside, Mitch cursed the day he got involved with Curt. Now he was already too deep in the matter to just get out. Because the teacher would kill him without hesitation, Mitch was sure. So he nodded to Winfield and both followed the carriage from a distance. Shortly before the camp-site they dismounted and hid again behind some rocks. "They won't unload the wagon right away, they'll rest first. During this time you can run to the carriage and get the bottle."

Wide-eyed Mitch looked at Curt. "Me? Why me? No, my friend, you want to have this stuff. I just want Cartwright and for that a bullet will be enough and I can wait another twenty years if I have to. You can get the bottle yourself. I keep watching your back."

The two men looked at each other. Then Curt looked around and ran crouched to the wagon.

XXXX

"Here's the way to the construction site of Pa and Uncle Adam."

Sally looked at Riccardo. "What kind of construction site?"

"My brother and Riccardo's father are building a railway line and for that they must pass through a few mountains." 

"They want to make next month first big hole in mountain."

"Bernardo, don't be so nervous. What are you afraid of?"

Aiyana pushed her brother slightly against his arm. "I'm not afraid." 

Tyler laughed softly. "Of course you're afraid, Bernardo. You're messing up all your words again."

Adam's son looked insulted in another direction and gave no answer to his friends.  
"But what does your teacher want here? And who's the other guy?"

Slowly, the six children followed Mitch and Curt. "That's the one who has come to the little hut yesterday."

Riccardo nodded to Tyler and Sally. "This is Mitch, the cousin of Lewis."

"That Lewis, who went to school with us?" 

Stunned Tyler looked at him. "Yep. And Mitch used to annoy Uncle Adam and Koko at school. I believe they still cannot stand each other."

"Riccardo's right. Wynono had some fights with him every now and then. Pa had to pick him up at Tom's more than once."

Aiyana and Bernardo glanced at each other in surprise. "Até was fighting that he had to go to jail to Tom? Our peace chief?"

"If I told you what my brother did. ... Guess why our Pa already has so many white hair? Not just because of Little Joe."

"Hey, they stop."

Sally stopped her horse and the others did the same. Slowly they dismounted and hid behind some trees. "I wonder what they want here. Work hasn't begun yet."

Bernardo held his arm and looked angry at his sister, who whispered to him softly. "You're a warrior. So don't always be so afraid."

"I do not want be a warrior. I rather build with dad models. Is not so dangerous."

"You can do that tomorrow, today you are a warrior and my brother, so be strong."

Tyler stepped between the two and pushed them apart. "Can you two stop quarreling? Otherwise creeping up is finished and we're busted up."

Sally laughed at Sarah. "You are a funny group. If my dad knew how much fun I have here."

"I hope you tell him nothing about that?"

With a finger on her forehead she glanced at Riccardo. "Certainly not. The remaining two days I would probably end up spending in my room."

Immediately all heads turned to Sally. "You only have two more days left?" 

Now she looked kindly at Riccardo but in her eyes it could be seen how sad she was. "My father told me we leave in two days. He's finished with his work here."

The six children were silent and their eyes were focused on Sally. "What your father doing here in Virginia City?"

The girl shrugged. "I don't know exactly. He always takes a job here and there. He'd been working on a ranch for a while, then at a livery stable and for six months he was a Sheriff too, but what he does here ...?"

She shrugged again. And again they were silent for a while. Then Tyler hit Riccardo on his back and pointed to the construction site. "Where's our teacher going?"

"Damn, he went around the house. Now we can't see him. And where is this Mitch? Wait here, I'm going to sneak a little closer."

"No ..." 

Bernardo wanted to hold his sister by the arm but she pushed him away and grunted at him. "I am a true warrior and will boldly approach the enemy and if you really belonged to our tribe you would help me."

With a last look, she ran to see where the teacher had gone. Bernardo exhaled loudly. "But you staying here. We be right back."

The four nodded and watched after the siblings. They still looked at the site, though they couldn't see Bernardo and Aiyana any longer.  
"Can you tell me what you're doing here at this time?"

Wide-eyed, they looked at Little Joe, who stood behind them. "Well, ..." Sarah looked up at her brother and then at the others with puffed-up cheeks. "... we, ... Joe, ... Winfield has to go and we must know what the enemy's up to before we fight him."

Hands placed on his belt, Joe looked at the small group and smirked a little. "I can tell you what YOUR enemy will say after you're home."

Joe shook his head. "You don't know what time it is? Dinner has been on the table for over an hour. Pa's so angry with you that Mum said I better go looking for you."

With pretty pale faces, the children glanced at him. It seemed they had once again forgotten time and not only Sarah would get trouble. Riccardo and Tyler knew that they would get told off for coming home so late. Only Sally hoped that her father wouldn't be back when she returned to the room at Mrs Hawkins.

"Where are Aiyana and Bernardo and don't tell me you don't know. You all hang around together a lot lately." 

Excited, the children's eyes wandered back and forth. Riccardo then pointed to the camp with his hand. "They're down on the construction site to see where Mr Winfield has gone."

"Curt's here on the site?"

"And this Mitch must be nearby. We've seen him ride here with Curt."

Joe put a hand on Tyler's shoulder and looked down at the camp. The words of his brother Adam were still in his mind. That Curt was trying to hurt him to get to Bridget. So this was certainly not a friend's visit here on the construction site. Especially when Mitch was here as well. Without looking at the children he started running. "Get your horses and ride home. I'll get the other two."

As Little Joe didn't look at them, one look of understanding was enough and Sally, Riccardo, Tyler and Sarah stood by the trees to look at the construction site. They didn't even think to listen to Little Joe.  
Suddenly Sally gasped out loud and then held her hand over her mouth. Frightened, she looked at Tyler and the others. "What's wrong?"

She gave Tyler no answer but pointed down with her hand and whispered. "My dad is down there."

The children looked in the direction and could just see Sally's father sneaking around a house.

XXX

Carefully, Curt moved to the carriage. The two drivers had disappeared into one of the small houses. Surely they wanted to eat something before discharging the dangerous wagonload, although it was very daring to leave the carriage with the horses here just like that. Shortly Curt was tempted to give the horses a slap and let them go off but the risk was too big. So he looked around again and slowly raised the tarp.

XXX

It hadn't taken long and Bernardo had caught up with his sister. She just grinned at him and pointed to another small hut. "He ran round there."

She grabbed Bernardo by the jacket. "Come on, let's see. Maybe we can hear something, too."

Bernardo moved reluctantly. He knew when Aiyana had gotten something in her head it was difficult to dissuade her. With their backs leaned against the wall Aiyana nodded to him and pulled him around the corner. She was sure. Her parents had taught her from an early age to not scream at something unexpected, preventing all of the workers immediately running out of their huts. Before them stood a man and he looked at her seriously. Then he grabbed her and pulled her back around the house. He hissed softly at them. "What are you doing here?"

„No comprende nada."

Bernardo tried to look at the man as convincingly as possible. Also Aiyana raised her head and looked at the man very confidently. "Wašíču iyápi kiŋ taŋyáŋ nawáȟ'uŋ šni."

Both children opened their mouths in astonishment when the man not only began to speak Spanish but also used the sign language of the Indians. "I know you can understand me exactly. You are the children of Adam Cartwright and Aiyana, ... although I don't quite understand the language of your tribe but every tribe understands the sign language. So what the hell are you doing here?"

Bernardo looked at his sister. Even though it was very rare, she didn't know what to say. He'd grabbed the kids by the arm when Little Joe suddenly appeared. "Let go of the kids!"

The man's head twitched in the direction of Joe. Then he tilted his head and they looked at each one. Only then he let go of the two children. "You're not a worker of my brother?"

The man nodded a little. Joe didn't look away when he spoke to the children. He kept his eyes on the unknown guy all the time. For the first time, he understood what Adam meant, what it would mean to carry a gun. He couldn't prevent himself from sweating. If the man went for his gun, Joe would certainly stand no chance to be faster. "Run back to the others and ride home. I have no idea what Tyler and Sally will have to expect but you'll be in for it when you get home."

Briefly Joe's hand twitched as the man straightened up but then put his head back aside. "Sally Jenkins is with you?"

The man didn't need an answer. The short eye contact the two siblings exchanged was enough. "Then I will go with you to ask my daughter what she's doing out here at this time."

Joe looked at Sally's father in amazement but then he went to grab Adam's children and leave.  
"Joe, we cannot go."

"Oh, and why not, Aiyana?"

"Because Winfield is here and certainly not to help Até."

Torn Joe stood there not knowing what to do.  
"Do you know where he is? I've lost sight of him."

Now Aiyana looked at Sally's father questioningly, wondering why he was looking for the teacher. "Yes, I know where he is and I can show you."

"You won't show anyone anything, we're going home now. 

Little Joe swallowed. He had only briefly looked at Aiyana and Jenkins already had his gun in his hand but he didn't point it at him but checked the cartridges in the drum. He didn't look at Joe when he spoke to him. "Boy, we'll see where Mr Winfield is, for the girl's right. He isn't here to help your brother. So the children will show us where he is and afterwards ..." Now he looked at Aiyana. "... my young zuyá wičháša, you will go back to the others with your brother. Understood?"

For Aiyana it wasn't possible to look Sally's father in the eyes because he had lowered his head again and replaced some cartridges. More and more she was wondering about Jenkins. It seemed that he not only knew many Indian wisdoms but also the use of Native language seemed easy to him. So he didn't pronounce the words like most whites. Then Aiyana looked back at Little Joe, who wasn't sure what to do. "Aiyana, if you don't go home at once then ... then ... "

Desperately, Joe raised his arms. Adam's daughter grabbed Bernardo by the arm and pulled him around the house again. Joe and Jenkins followed her.

XXXX

A smile spread over Curt's face as he pushed the tarp aside. There were three boxes of nitroglycerin in the wagon. Carefully, he opened one of the crates. When he saw the twelve small bottles, he rubbed his hands with joy. But then he clenched a fist, angry with himself. With his big plan he hadn't thought about how to transport the bottle best. He wondered if he should take out the other bottles and simply put them on the loading area but then, if one accidentally tipped over ...? He would have liked to cry out loud. How could he be so stupid? Quickly, he glanced over the loading area. Perhaps there was some where he could safely place the remaining bottles. It was a single movement. He heard the sound, drew his gun and turned. "What are you doing here? Get away from the carriage NOW!"

One of the drivers had come out of the hut and looked at Curt darkly. He thought quickly what to do now. The fact that he had been to the crates was clearly visible and to simply run away didn't work either. The man would recognize him any time. He raised his gun slightly. With big eyes he realized what Curt was up to. "Mister, don't do anything rash, because ..."

"Drop the gun!"

Curt's eyes widened as he saw Jenkins standing at the corner realizing that he was aiming at him. In his mind there was utter chaos and he tried desperately to find a solution. In his panic, he began to open fire on the worker and Jenkins.

Jenkins leaned tightly against the wall as the first shot fell. The man in front of him fell to the ground hit by a bullet. Joe cried out in pain when Sally's father hit him on the hand as he was about to fire back at Curt. "Boy, put the gun away! If you shoot at him, we'll all be blown up!"

He pointed to the carriage and Joe's heart stopped when he read the inscription. With his arm, he held back Adam's children so that they couldn't look around the corner. Curt had now taken cover behind the horses and kept firing in the direction of Jenkins and Joe. "Winfield, stop it! Don't you get how nervous the horses are?"

Meanwhile more and more workers came out of the huts and looked in their direction. "Then you'd better get out of here! I've got nothing to lose! I've lost my contract as a teacher anyway."

Nervously, the horses began to prance. They had been on the road for too long. Soothingly Curt talked to them.

"Put the gun down or I'll blow your brains out."

Not ten feet from Curt was one of the workers with a shotgun in his hand. "Damned idiot! Put that gun away!"

The man, however, didn't listen to Curt's words and shot into the air. "It was only last week that you stole a wagon with material. This time we got you!"

The bang was still in the air, as the horses ran loose. Curt again acted without thinking much. He jumped on the wagon trying to bring the horses to a halt. Jenkins guessed what was going to happen and shouted a warning to the workers standing around. Then he grabbed the children and yelled at Joe to get out of here as quickly as possible. So the four ran back to the other children and the horses. Inwardly, Jenkins hoped that Curt would be far away from the camp with the carriage if the cargo went off. That it would go off, he had no doubt. These horses had been too panicked to be stopped easily.

They were just about to climb the small hill, when there was a huge explosion. Jenkins could only grab Aiyana and rushed with her a few yards down again. He cowered over her, when there was a second explosion. Not quite as violent as the first but a lot louder and closer. With his hands and body, he tried to cover Aiyana as best as he could as the first stones and splinter of wood rained down on them.

XXXXX

Ben and Adam didn't speak to each other when they were on their way to the construction site. Each lost in his own thoughts. Until he met up with his father, Adam had thought Aiyana and Bernardo were playing and eating with him. When his father told him that Little Joe was looking for the kids he was no longer able to say a single word. Especially since he had understood his father's gaze very well. As always, he blamed Adam for the situation before he even knew what had happened. But this time he probably was right. For Adam there was no doubt that the nitroglycerin exploded on the construction site. For a long time he had refused to work with it and had searched for other ways to break through the mountain but he hadn't found anything as effective as this explosive. The work hadn't yet begun and there was already the first accident. Adam didn't have any hope that nobody had been harmed. Too many men already lived on the construction site. Already he wondered how he could live with it, especially if one of the children should be among the victims.

It took a load off his mind when he saw Riccardo, Sarah and Tyler running to him with another girl. Sport hadn't come quite to a halt, when Adam had already jumped out of the saddle and ran towards them. He closed his eyes as he held Riccardo and the unknown girl in his arms and was grateful that Sarah had flung her arms around her father's neck. For if she had run to him again, Ben would have vented his whole rage on him. When Adam opened his eyes again he noticed that Tyler looked at him frightened and Adam spread his arms and made him understand that he could come to him. When he hugged the boy he could feel how much he was trembling. Before his first words, Adam tried to control his emotions. "Riccardo, where are Aiyana and Bernardo?"

Frederic's son didn't say a word and only pointed in the direction of the construction site.

"Riccardo, where are your horses?"

The boy looked at Ben. "They ran away when we heard the first bang."

"Pa, what are we going to do now? I don't want to take them down there but I can't leave them alone."

Ben took a deep breath and stood up slowly. "Riccardo, I want you to ride to the Ponderosa with our horses. Please tell Emillia that one of the ranch hands should ride to your and Tyler's home to tell your parents that you are with us. Although I'm sure that Frederic will come here soon."

Adam felt a slight touch on the hand. With tearful eyes the girl looked up at him. Her voice was just a whisper. "My dad was down there."

Quickly, Adam wondered whether he had seen the girl earlier with one of the workers. "Who's your dad?"

"Jenkins, Simon Jenkins ..."

Adam put a hand over his eyes and didn't want to imagine why the man of the Bureau for Indian Affairs was here on his construction site. "You're going to the Ponderosa and stay there. As soon as I know what's going on with your father, I'll let you know."

He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him gratefully. Ben and Adam helped the children on the horses and watched them leaving. Adam looked at the ground in front of him as Ben put a hand on his back. "We'll find the two, Adam, and who knows, maybe Joe's already on his way home with them."

Now it was Adam who took a deep breath. It was clear that his father was just trying to bolster himself up, not showing how big his concern of Little Joe was.

Ben and Adam gasped loudly as they stood at the edge of the camp and looked down. None of the houses were there any more. The whole place was a scene of devastation. The whining of the injured men could be heard. Others ran around clearing away stones and wood out of their way to get to the injured. Ben had to hit his son twice against the arm, before he reacted at all. Then he pointed down to the edge of the hill. There they saw Joe lying under some boards.

As fast as they could they ran to the spot. They had to steer clear to prevent more stones falling down on Little Joe. Both were kneeling beside Ben's son, carefully removing the boards and stones from his back. "Joe, ... Joe, ..."

Ben touched Little Joe gently on the shoulder and turned him around. As his gaze was focused only on his youngest son, he looked at Adam in alarm as he heard a sound.

"Bernardo ...?

Adam pulled his son up by the shoulders. With wide eyes the boy looked at him. "Dad ...?" Firmly Adam clutched and hugged him. Joe, too, slowly opened his eyes and blinked at his father. "Stay calm, Joe. As it looks, you've got a pretty bad wound on your head."

Little Joe closed his eyes again whispering softly the names of Bernardo and Aiyana. "Bernardo's doing well. Was Aiyana with you?"

Just like Ben, Adam looked at his brother without loosening the grip around Bernardo. After Joe nodded, Adam and Ben looked around. Then Adam saw a larger pile of rubble. Slightly he pushed Bernardo away. "Bernardo, how are you? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. Joe been over me."

Briefly Adam hugged his boy again and stood up. "Stay here. We're just looking for Aiyana."

"She was with father of Sally."

Puzzled, Adam raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Cautiously he went to the small pile and started to remove the rubble. "Pa, ..."

Ben carefully laid Joe down and walked the few yards to his son. Together they lifted a large board from Jenkins' back. When they turned him carefully, he groaned loudly. Ben swallowed briefly as he saw the piece of wood that had drilled into the thigh of Sally's father. "Adam, ... Aiyana's here ..."

Adam tried to turn Jenkins cautiously on his back. In a single bound he was at his father's side and helped his daughter. Like Bernardo, she didn't seem to have gotten anything except a few scratches, as the body of Jenkins had protected her from all the flying parts. He was relieved, holding her in his arms and thanking the Great Spirit that he hadn't yet punished him by taking his children. That the whole incident was a punishment, Adam was sure of. Too big was his intervention in nature, with what he was about to do.

XXXXX

Adam leaned against the clock and looked at Ben and Doc Martin as they both stood at the stairs talking. Ben and he had fetched a carriage and one of the ranch hands then took Joe and the other three to the Ponderosa. Adam had stayed on the construction site all night until he was sure they had found all the men. Around midnight he had sent his father home as he saw how much he worried about Little Joe.

Doc Martin had arrived at the Ponderosa about an hour ago. Before that he had taken care of the injured workers at the camp. Adam was only here to get to know how his brother was. Before going back to the site he wanted to see the children at home and talk to Bridget.

Tom would be right back at the scene of accident. Just as Frederic and Adam had he also wanted to see in daylight exactly what had happened, that it could come to such an explosion. Aiyana had told him that Winfield and Mitch were on the site just before the accident. He couldn't learn more from her. Like Bernardo, she was too shocked by the events and neither Jenkins nor Little Joe had been conscious long enough to tell him something more precise.  
Tired, he looked at Emillia as she handed him a cup of coffee. "I see it in your face. You feel responsible for what happened."

Adam laughed bitterly. "I am, Emillia. I once again had an idea that didn't only take one man's life. We lost seven men in the blast and I'm not counting Winfield and Mitch so far. We haven't found their bodies yet."

"Adam, accidents happen. You have made sure that the nitroglycerin is stored as safely as possible. I did notice how annoyed Frederic was that you only allowed small supplies and if it's true that Mitch and Curt are responsible for the explosion, you're not to blame."

"I brought it here."

She put her hand on his arm. "Don't do that. Don't take the entire responsibility on your shoulders. Yes, you have lost some workers and it's terrible but the blame lies with others and not with you."

Adam didn't look at her. He was just too tired to argue with her. "How are the kids, Joe and this Jenkins?"

"Luckily, the children have only got a terrific shock. Although they all complain about a little ear pain, I think this will have subsided in a few days. Joe has a fairly large head wound and a concussion as Paul says. Otherwise he has only a lot of bruises."

She paused, thinking of Jenkins. When she had cared for him, she found his badge and knew therefore that he works for the Bureau of Indian Affairs. So she was quite surprised by what she saw when she wrapped the bandage around his ribs. He had only looked deeply into her eyes when he noticed how she had been pondering what she had seen holding her breath. When she smiled at him, he closed his eyes and fell asleep. "Sally's father has two broken ribs. I removed the piece of wood from his thigh. The wound isn't very deep but I'm assuming that he has to stay in bed for the next few days. I decided with Ben that he can stay here. Hoss will pick up his and Sally's belongings from Mrs Hawkins during the day."

Now Adam tilted his head and looked at Emillia. "He works for the Indian Authorities and wants to take Aiyana and Chesmu away. I don't think you should take care of him here."

"And you shouldn't rashly judge a man. Especially not after he saved your daughter's life."

"Just because a snake is my guardian spirit, I don't have to lie down in the nest of a rattlesnake."

"And not every wolf must be an evil wolf."

Adam closed his eyes because he didn't understand what Emillia wanted to say to him. He also couldn't ask because Doc Martin and his father came in. "Ben, if I manage, I will come over again this evening but I think the two just need rest and some care, then they should quickly be back on their feet again. And you, Adam, ..." The doctor looked at him very impressively. "... you should also have some rest. If you continue like that for the rest of the day you'll also have to be nurtured in the next days."

"I'll be careful."

"Adam, you should listen to Paul."

More than intended Adam snapped at his father. "When I say I'll take care, I'll do that."

When Emillia put her hand on his arm again, he briefly held his hand to his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit done, I'll go home and change my clothes. Please don't worry about me, Pa. "

Understandably, Ben nodded. "I'm there when you need me, son."

XXXX

Adam was, for the second day, on his mountain. Actually, he didn't have time to be up here. But after all that had happened, he had to allow himself at least this weekend of "luxury".  
The accident on the construction site was now two weeks ago and he didn't feel any better. Even if all statements confirmed that it wasn't the storage that had led to this explosion. The horses had run away in their panic and the wagon rolled over just behind the site and fell down a mountain. The force of the explosion was so strong that the shock had caused another crate to tip over that wasn't stored safely on site. There was also the most deaths. They had just been about to secure the last delivery and the other crates were safely stowed away, with the exception of this one, which was fortunately not filled with all bottles. The only thing Adam could be thankful for was that his idea had worked with the way the bottles were stored. He didn't want to imagine what it would have been like if the other bottles had exploded.

It hadn't taken much time and Frederic had noticed that Adam doubted whether to continue with the project or not. Of course, there was a quarrel between them when Adam tried to explain his thoughts and feelings to him. First of all Frederic saw the money that they had already invested and, not like Adam, the blood that he thought to have had on his hands now.

The children had recovered very quickly from the shock and enjoyed more the fact that there was no school because the way it looked Curt and Mitch had died in the explosion. They didn't find their bodies, which was nothing unusual should they have been near the wagon.

Hands intertwined with each other and placed on the forehead, Adam sat at the edge of the mountain, trying to regain some of his inner peace. He held his breath as he felt someone sitting next to him. But it didn't take long and without looking or saying a word he knew Amarok was sitting next to him. Surely one hour passed before the Indian addressed him. "Will my Chaska tell me what caused his soul to be so upset that he does not come to rest?"

Adam's gaze was fixed into the distance. "You know what happened."

"There was an accident that you are not to blame for."

Adam looked up at the clouds. "I am to blame and it's not just me to see it that way. I realize that the Great Spirit has punished me for interfering too much. If it's not right to cut down a tree, then it cannot be in his sense that I blow holes into mountains."

"I told you before, it will not be easy for you to live in both worlds. But the Great Spirit also sees how much you strive to bring them into harmony. You've been thinking about it for a long time and both of us have had a lot of talks by the fire about the way you can best implement your ideas without betraying you and us."

Adam dropped his head. "Amarok, how can I carry on without thinking of the dead? Am I not the same as the people of the railway company? Don't I show then that a human life is worth nothing to me?"

"You have not been up here for a long time. The only reason that your thoughts whirl so wild. You cannot see your way any more. What distinguishes you from the people who rob our land so that the iron horse can cross it?"

Adam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Again he tried to push the useless thoughts aside and to concentrate only on the essentials. It took him a long time to realize that peace spread in him. Only the presence of Amarok helped him to relax. He felt safe when Koko's father was next to him. Adam wasn't afraid anymore to let go and to listen to the voices coming from his heart. It was already late at night when Adam opened his eyes again. Amarok was still with him. Immediately his eyes went up to the stars and he smiled for the first time in days. "I'm not robbing and not killing to achieve my goals. It was an accident." But then he looked seriously at his hands. "Amarok, don't I make it too easy for me to explain it to myself this way? Haven't I set the cause that this misfortune could happen?"

"You do not make it easy for you. It is that simple. Remember this. Nothing happens without a reason and where do you want to start? Everything that happens happens because you are born. There is no point at which you have set the cause."

"But can I go on so easily? Couldn't it be a sign that I'm going a wrong way?"

"No, my great warrior, you have to take this way, otherwise someone else will take it and certainly not in your or our sense."

Amarok turned to Adam and looked at him. "Wynono, we cannot resist what's going to happen to us. We must learn to live with and use it without forgetting our way of life. Even my people doesn't reject any progress. Don't we use the horses that you have brought to our country? Don't we use your tool? Don't we use your weapons to defend ourselves? Isn't that already progress? Surely one day, women, children and warriors of my people will use the iron horse to go from shore to shore. Therefore Wynono, keep going. This is the only way to achieve what we both want. That both worlds become one without forgetting the other."

His eyes returned to the stars. "Life was so easy when Koko and I were just lying at the creek and looking into the clouds."

"Is life not still easy? Don't you make it difficult yourself?"

Adam lay back on the stony ground and kept looking at the sky. The words of Koko's father made sense and he understood what he had to change to find his balance.

XXXX

The sun rose just behind the mountains when Adam and Amarok returned. With new strength Adam made his way home and Koko's father was glad that he had once again found the right words to accompany his son on his way. He had almost reached the village when he saw a man on a clearing looking to the village. He had seen him before. Before the big disaster. He had also stayed in the vicinity of the village. Since he knew from his daughter that a man from the Bureau of Indian Affairs was in town, he guessed it was this man. So he led his horse to the clearing and stood beside him. The stranger didn't wince. He didn't look at him, either. His eyes were still focused on the village. "Do the eyes of the white man see anything else than my eyes?"

Only Jenkin's eyes were looking down, his head didn't move. Also from the side, Amarok could see that they had a sad glow. "It's better if I go now."

Jenkins sat up straight and took the reins in his hand. Before he could get away, Amarok held him back. "You did not answer my question."

"What does it help you or me if I answer this question? We have to live with the way it is and not how it was."

Amarok's hand was still on Jenkins's arm. "The wrong wolf is very strong in you."

The anger in Jenkins' eyes disappeared. "No, it's not strong. The right wolf is just very tired and gave up battle long ago."  
"Then answer my question and I can help you."

Slowly the eyes wandered back to the village. "We shall live the moment and not mourn the past ..."

Amarok smiled as he finished the sentence for Jenkins. "... but you should not be afraid of the future. I do not know what a burden lies on your soul but everything you imagine in your mind becomes reality if you do not step out of the light of the heart."

It took some time till Jenkins looked back at the chief of the Gosiute. "The shadow on my heart has been forming many moons ago. Nature was renewed again and again and the shadow grew bigger every time."

"For a white man you use many words of my people and yet, you're trying to take away our culture?"

With eyes closed Jenkins laughed. "I should go now."

"Because you're afraid?"

His whole rage could be seen and felt as Jenkins pulled his horse around and stood close to Amarok. "I'm not afraid. I never was. I only have no strength left to wage a futile battle we have long since lost. I was told that you're a wise and intelligent chief. If so, then you should know that what you have here isn't what you get to see at the other tribes. These times, as you live here, are long gone. Many of us have to suffer and hope that they will survive the days when mother nature's sleeping."

"My tribe and I can live like that because I trusted the white man. I have not fought against him. I've seen him as my friend."

"Not everyone has an Adam Cartwright as his neighbour."

"What happened that you deny our people? For at first sight you look more like a white man but you speak like one of us and therefore I assume that the blood of my people is part of your blood."

Jenkins turned his horse so that he could look to the village again. "I can live neither in this world nor in the world down there. In both I am despised for what I am. So often I have reached out my hand in peace but as soon as they knew the truth, there was only hatred in them."

"But not all of them are like that." 

"But many, Amarok. Too many that I can fight them all."

"Then end this fight and start a new one. One you can win. The fight against forgetting. This is the fight that Wynono and I are leading."

"Tell me how he manages to live with these two worlds, even though he's not one of our people. Why is he tolerated with his attitude here in Virginia City? I haven't experienced in any other town that so many people come to someone's defence who fights for the interests of the Indians."

"I'll tell you when you tell me who you are and what tribe you belong to."

First, Jenkins looked into the village, then raised his head and looked into the sky. He looked at the chief of the Gosiute with a very determined and proud gaze. "The name I got from my grandfather is Hok'ee. And the drums of my tribe haven't beaten for a long time."

XXXX

"Good Morning." 

Rested and in a good mood, Adam walked into the dining room and stroked the twins lovingly over their heads. When he heard only a faint 'good morning' from his kids, he sat down wondering. He looked surprised at Bridget, who just shook her head. "Did I miss or forget something important?"

Bridget exhaled deeply and gave Emilie her cup of milk and George and Clair a piece of bread. After that, she tried not to look at Adam too annoyed. "I'm still wondering how you could get the idea that Ben should take over the lessons until the holidays?"  
Adam first looked at the children before he answered. "Don' tell me, we have such a bad mood at the table just because my father has been teaching for a week?"

"Would you have liked to have Ben as a teacher?"

Adam shrugged. "He has a lot of experience and he's used to having children around. There was no better solution. You can't go to town every day."

"We could just as well have had further vacation."

"Did you say something, Aiyana?"

Adam looked questioningly at his daughter.

"You could have continued to search a little more."  
"We're still going on to look for someone else but until we find somebody it might take a while. It's nice that lalá Ben has agreed to teach you."

When even Bernardo took a deep breath, Adam crossed his arms and leaned back. "Bernardo, I get the impression that even you don't agree with your teacher."

"He ... He ..." Bernardo looked at his plate. "... do not know what he is doing."

"Pardon?"

From the corner of his eye he saw Bridget holding the napkin to her mouth but Adam could still see how she smirked.

"Até. What Bernardo means is ... "

She fell silent as Adam tilted his head and looked at her. "I think Aiyana, Bernardo can explain it very well on his own."

His eyes returned to his son. "Well, Bernardo ..."

Bernardo looked back at Aiyana, who shrugged. "He's talking so loud and ... I'm supposed to count with the cattle. I do not have need. I can do without."

Bridget had to chuckle when she saw Adam's eyes grew wide and he leaned forward. "Ben brings cattle into the class?"

At once Bernardo raised his hands. "No, ... no, none at school, all outside ..."

"My father has them outside the school?"

Shoulders and head of Bernardo slumped down.

"Até ...? May I tell you? "Adam nodded, his hand over his mouth. "Lalá Ben gets the classes all mixed up and doesn't know who can do what. To Bernardo he says he's not to solve the math problems with numbers but with cattle. Then it would be easier for him and when Bernardo wanted to tell him, he can count well, he ended up in the corner because he contradicted him. Lalá Ben never listens. To Jeffrey, he rolls his eyes because he cannot read properly yet, although he's already ten but Jeffrey has only gone to school for two months. He never picks Winona to answer a question and he's ..." Aiyana held her hands to her ears. "… too loud."

Now Adam let his head sink with a deep breath. Then he turned to his wife. "Just as you grin, you knew it was going to happen."

Slowly she took the napkin down and tried not to smile any further. "I expected that. Adam, your father certainly means well but to teach is more than just standing up and telling the kids what to do. He doesn't prepare for the lesson and the children notice that. Not only the children are already done after a week, your father seems to be at his wit's end. Emillia escaped to me with Sophie yesterday afternoon, because Ben just grumbled."

Thoughtfully Adam scratched behind his ear. "But what shall we do? There are still two months to go till the holidays. We can't skip class for so long and I just don't believe that we'll find a teacher before Summer."

Bridget pushed the napkin a little to the side as well as the plate and her cup. She didn't look at Adam and he realized that something was going to come that could shake his inner balance. "NO!"

Bridget's head rose and she looked at him with a slight smile. "You don't even know what I was going to suggest."

He pointed to her hands. "The fact that you don't let the dishes stand quietly in their place tells me, something's going on in your mind, which has found its place THERE quite spontaneously. Surely it's got something to do with me, or else you would simply be able to talk about it."

She gently ran her fingers over his arm.

"That doesn't help either."

"Just listen to it."

Grumbling, he nodded.

XXX

Three days later, Adam was standing at the door to the dining room, shaking his head. "And, that's what you always wanted?" 

With a very happy face she stood next to him and looked at the children, all sitting in the dining room at the large table. "Yes, I did. A house full of kids and they all want to learn something. Now you can no longer be asked why you have built the house so big."

"But all go back home? I'm not coming back tonight and they're still sitting here?"

Bridget laughed softly. "Of course. Although …."

At first Adam looked at her seriously but then he grinned. "Adam, it's only up to the holidays. After that you will certainly have found someone to take over the lessons again. In addition, Cholette and Giovanna look forward to helping me with the children, Emilie and the twins."

Adam leaned forward and gave Bridget a kiss, then shook his head. "As long as you don't set up a children's home here one day."

As Bridget's grin grew bigger, he raised his finger but he couldn't look at her angrily. "I'll be back after lunch. Then I hope I will only find my own children here in the house."

With one last glance, he put on his hat and returned to work.

XXXX

In the afternoon Adam came back from the construction site. The first huts for the workers were rebuilt and with their schedule they were only a few days behind. It was obvious that Frederic was pretty relieved that Adam hadn't chucked the whole project. Even if he now had the support of that student, whom their old professor had recommended, he could never have continued on his own. The dispute hadn't hurt their friendship. But once again Adam realized that Frederic hadn't yet understood completely how his way of life was and what influence it had on his work.

He went into the kitchen and started to make coffee and then go through the mail at his office. "Hello Emillia. Have you escaped my father again?"

Emillia had to laugh. "No. I've only taken care of the little ones while Bridget has been preparing for tomorrow's classes. She's just up at the twins and Neisha's at the puppies."

"Is the coffee fresh?"

Adam pointed to the pot, which stood beside the sink. "You can still burn your fingers."

"And you're welcome to come back tomorrow but then I would like to have a piece of cake, too."

"You're naughty my ... son ..." 

Laughing, Adam took a cup out of the closet and looked out the window. "What does he want here?"

Emillia joined him. "I think he's looking for his daughter."

When he spoke, Adam couldn't hide how much it bothered him to see Jenkins. "Why does he still live with you? He's been on his feet again for more than a week."

With her back to the window Emillia leaned against the kitchen counter. "Haven't you told me that you should never judge someone before you haven't seen into his heart?"

In disgust, Adam burst out laughing. "He's here to take away my children. I don't need to look into his heart."

"Aiyana and Bernardo are still with you, even though he has completed his mission. For he wants to leave on Monday."

"Probably he leaves others to do the dirty job and only writes the reports."

Surprised, Emillia looked at her step-son. "Adam, I don't know you. You didn't deal with him. I think you didn't even thank him for protecting Aiyana."

Glowering, Adam looked out the window and watched as Jenkins looked around searching. "He'll leave again. I don't need to deal with him."

"Yes, you should. Because I think you have more in common than you think and when it comes to Sally, they won't leave so fast."

She took another cup from the cupboard. In both cups she poured some coffee and passed it on to Adam. "You're going out there. You don't have to make friends with him but at least you're thanking him for saving Aiyana."

With very dark eyes he took the cups and went outside. Before he went to Jenkins, however, he set down the cups on the small table on the porch. He would thank him but certainly not drink coffee with him. "Can I help you?"

Jenkins turned to Adam and a slight smile flitted over his lips. "I'm looking for my daughter."

With his arms crossed, Adam turned to Sally's father. "She'll be with my children and the others."

"If you see her, would you please tell her I want to talk to her?"

"I can do that, although I'm quite surprised that you let your daughter play with my children. Aren't you afraid that they will tell her too much of their culture?" 

Sally's father turned to the mountains. "My grandfather loved the mountains. He always said he can be free up there. What he sees and hears up there no one can take from him. I didn't understand him for many years until he took me with him for the first time. ... You can't stand me, Mr Cartwright and only for the reason that you only see what you want to see."

As Jenkins turned his back on him, he couldn't see how much Adam's cheekbones twitched. "I see you want to take my children away from me. I don't need to see more."

"Your children are still with you."

Adam now stood next to the man from the Authority. "What's the matter, Jenkins? What kind of game are you playing?"

Jenkins continued to look at the mountains. "I'm not playing a game, Mr Cartwright. I wrote my report a few days after my arrival. Like my resignation."

"Resignation? Do you want to tell me, you feel guilty about what you do?"

"No. I've done my job with a pure and good conscience. It was short but as with you I could prevent two other families from having their children withdrawn. But unfortunately I can't go on. A fourth report of this kind wouldn't be accepted any more. And we both don't want my job to be checked later."

Adam turned obliquely to Jenkins, to look at him from the side. "I can't figure you out, Jenkins. What were you doing on my construction site?"

"Watching an enemy ..." Jenkins turned to Adam. "I noticed very quickly in the talks with Mr Winfield that he had a vendetta. When I then learned that Mitch Sanders was his partner and this guy indeed has a very special relationship with you, I knew that he was up to no good."

"Considering you've been a relatively short time in Virginia City, you know a lot about us."

Jenkins began to laugh. "Mr Cartwright, just three days at Mrs Hawkins and you know every citizen of the town and surrounding farms and ranches, as if they were part of your family."

Adam slowly nodded. "Then I thank you and not just for saving my daughter's life."

Jenkins also nodded and turned back to the mountains. His voice now had a different tone. If Adam was to have described it later, he would say it wasn't only sad but it also reflected a longing. "Mr Cartwright, promise me that you will stand your ground. Continue your fight. Keep your chin up despite the obstacles. Be strong and appreciate that you are supported by so many people."

From the side, Adam watched as Jenkins closed his eyes and swallowed. Then he stood straight and held out his hand. "I'll come back in a few years to see if you could continue your way. I wish you the best of luck."

"Mr Jenkins, I ... "

"Até, ... do we still have corn in the kitchen?"

Chesmu stood with a stick in his hand next to the two men and looked questioningly at Adam. "Corn? Why do you need that?"

Adam let go of Jenkins' hand and waited for the answer in astonishment.

"I'll hold it into the fire."

"Fire? What kind of fire?"

Chesmu pointed back with his arm. "Well, that what's in the barn."

Jenkins and Adam needed only one look, then they both ran to the barn.


	88. Chapter 88

Did you find anything?" 

Aiyana looked at Sarah's basket. "I guess so. Although Koko and the shaman didn't mention exactly what you need for it and even you can't remember it correctly."

Aiyana took some leaves out of the basket and looked at them in detail. "Looks good and I think it will be enough for our purposes. Let's look for the others."

The two girls ran behind the house to the small spring where the others sat with their feet in the water. When they noticed Aiyana and Sarah they stood up and looked curiously in the basket. "I not know if the idea good is!"

Aiyana rolled her eyes. "Bernardo! What should happen? How can you always have such fear. I think you could do anything, Até would never send you to an orphanage."  
Then she looked at Riccardo. "And, have you been able to make it?"

With a broad grin Frederic's son looked around, then pulled a small pipe out from under his shirt. "Of course I couldn't build it so big, otherwise it would have been noticed but I've already tested it. It works."

Tyler nudged Sally. "Now you only need an Indian name then you are, like me, a true member of our tribe."

"You all have Indian names?"

Proudly Aiyana looked at her. "Of course. Whoever belongs to our tribe needs one. This one She put her arm around Bernardo. "... is Langundo, which means peaceful. Although …"  
Now she smirked at her brother. "... maybe we should rename you to Fearful Mouse."

Slightly offended, Bernardo took a step to the side. "I do just not find all the ideas good."

Without answering her brother she pointed to Riccardo. "This is Matunaaga, because he is the fighter of our tribe and Matunaaga means fight. Tyler is Kachada, the white man and Winona and my name you already know. Now we just have to think of one for you."

"Mmhh ..."  
Sally tilted her head, thinking. "My father used to call me different but when I asked him what it means, he stopped. When I hear your names maybe that might have been an Indian name, too."

Excited, the others looked at her. "And what was it? Maybe Aiyana or Sarah know the meaning of it?"

Tyler looked from Sally to Aiyana. "Then she would have one."

"He always said Honiahaka to me."

Aiyana scratched her head and looked at Sarah who was facing her. At the same time she murmured the name softly to herself. Sarah shrugged. "I've never heard that."

Again and again Aiyana said the name to herself, then she looked at the others with big eyes. "Once other warriors came to our village from far away. I remember how my father mentioned this name because the warriors had brought a young woman to our chief and I'm sure Honiahaka was her name. I asked my mother what the name meant, because Kajika rejected her."

Sally looked anxiously at her. "I don't know if I still want to know the meaning."

Adam's daughter laughed. "Don't worry. Today I know that Kajika was only afraid because Honiahaka means Little Wolf. He certainly didn't want her to become a big wolf some day."

"My father called me Little Wolf?" 

In her face wasn't only how amazed she was about it, but also how disappointed she was about Aiyana's explanation. "Well, maybe it has a different meaning. There are so many different languages among the Indians, or maybe it's not an Indian name and I have misunderstood it."

"Hey Sally, chin up."  
Sarah touched her arm. "Whatever your father has been thinking, today it fits to you. The wolf has a special place among the Indians. It isn't only very intelligent and trustworthy but also has a strong sense of justice. Family is very important to them. Only in the pack, is it really happy. And you can see this with you. You helped us because you noticed that our teacher is a backstabber. You trusted us and became part of our tribe. One family. And that you are happy, we see because you laugh more every day."

Sally still looked more to the ground than to the other children. "The wolf can also become aggressive and sometimes acts too spontaneously and we have seen it in the beginning, so it's nevertheless the fitting name for you."

Sally didn't look up. "But what shall I do with that name? It's all just stupid. After the weekend, we'll leave again and then I don't need it anymore."

She wanted to turn away to go but Aiyana immediately stopped her. "Until you leave, you are part of our tribe. Our family. And who knows what will happen in the days left? When the Great Spirit wants you to stay, he will find a way and now let's finally celebrate that we could bury the hatchet. Before our peace chief comes home and sees what we warriors do."

With a deep sigh Sally nodded and Aiyana clapped her hands and went to the barn. The others followed her. Only Bernardo went a little slower and shook his head.

XXXXX

A short time later they were all sitting in a round in a stall in the barn. Solemnly Aiyana held the pipe of Riccardo in the air. "I do not know everything you have to do to thank the Great Spirit for accompanying us on our warpath. But I think if we only get close to him, he will accept our thanks and be on our side even the next time. Winona, ... "

She handed the pipe to Ben's daughter, who filled it with some herbs and leaves, which she had gathered in the forest. Then she passed the pipe to Riccardo, who lit it with a match.  
"Matunaaga, ... I as your Warchief permit you as one of our great fighters to have the honor to take the first puff."

Riccardo tried not to show that he still had some concerns with what they did here. He just hoped the herbs wouldn't taste so bitter. With a deep breath he took the pipe into his mouth. Wildly coughing he handed it then to Tyler.

The peace pipe went several times around and the children began to talk about how they had defeated Curt. It didn't take long and Bernardo stood on the wall of the stall and proudly declared that without him they would never have made it back to the top of the hill.  
"Aiyana, don't songs and dances also belong to a celebration?"

Aiyana didn't get a chance to answer, because Riccardo immediately had an idea. "Of course, Tyl ..., sorry, ... of course, Kachada. I'll be right back."

Riccardo had jumped up and left the barn. Aiyana looked at him, surprised but then took another puff of the pipe and passed it on to Sarah, who was still grinning.

It wasn't long when Riccardo returned with his uncle's guitar. "Oh oh, my proud warrior. Don't you think our peace chief will be quite angry when he sees that you're taking his guitar?"

Riccardo waved his hand. "Don't worry, chief Aiyana. He teaches me guitar playing and not just for fun. He would certainly be proud of me if he could see how I accompany our celebration."

He sat down in the stall and began to play and sing and soon the others joined in, not paying attention to the pipe in the straw.  
"Aiyana, look, now we also have a small campfire. Like in a real Indian village."

Sally had pulled Adam's daughter by the arm and pointed to the stall, where the straw slowly began to burn. At that moment, Chesmu came running into the barn, looking at the big children at first and then opened his eyes wide as he saw the little fire. "What are you doing here?"

Without quitting the music, Riccardo called to his cousin. "Chesmu, get some corn. We can put it into the fire."

Instantly Chesmus's face lit up. The big ones let him join in too rarely in recent times. That's why he was pleased that they allowed it today, even after they had made a fire. He ran to get not only the corn but also one of the sticks behind the house.  
He had found the stick very quickly but he couldn't find corn in the kitchen nor the storage room. Since Granny and his mother weren't in the kitchen, he ran to his father, who was in the garden talking to Sally's father.

"Até, ... do we still have corn in the kitchen?"

Chesmu stood with a stick in his hand next to the two men and looked questioningly at Adam. "Corn? Why do you need that?"

Adam let go of Jenkins' hand and waited for the answer in astonishment.

"I'll hold it into the fire."

"Fire? What kind of fire?"

Chesmu pointed back with his arm. "Well, that what's in the barn."

Jenkins and Adam needed only one look, then they both ran to the barn.

Even from outside, the two men could smell the smoke. Adam pulled open the door of the barn and saw the children standing in front of the stall, which was now ablaze. Jenkins and Adam grabbed the six by the collar and pulled them out of the barn. Adam yelled at them to stay there and ran back to get the three horses that were still in their stalls. Jenkins had already brought the first of them outside, where he just gave the horse a slap so that it ran away. In the meantime, Chesmu had realized that the whole thing wasn't such fun, although the other children were sitting at the fence, laughing. So he ran into the house to look for his mother.

"Jenk ...!"  
Adam didn't need to speak further. While he had got the last horse to safety, Jenkins tried already to put out the fire in the stall. But very quickly the two had to realize that they couldn't put it out by simple means. So they grabbed some buckets and ran to the pump. Relieved, Adam noticed that his father and some men came running from the ranch. With their help, they were able to prevent the fire to spread to the house but the barn was beyond saving. When they had extinguished the fire, half of the building was already so affected that the other half collapsed shortly thereafter.

Disbelieving Adam looked at the remains of his barn. He couldn't believe what had happened, especially after learning how the fire had originated. While the men had fought the fire, Emillia and Bridget had taken care of the children, who, in the beginning, were still laughing at the fence. Over time, however, they became more and more silent and then told what they had done in the barn.  
His father came to him, put his arm around his shoulders and breathed deeply. "We will build it again, Adam. What's important is that noone has been hurt. I'm not so sure if the children even realized the danger in which they have been."

With twisting cheekbones, Adam looked at the six children who were now sitting on the fence with pretty pale faces. Ben, who was aware of how upset his son was, couldn't help smiling despite all tragedy. "Son, I don't know if you may like to change your attitude about talks in the barn facing these events? In this case I would like to put my barn at your disposal."

Exhaling loudly, Adam tilted his head and looked first at his father, then at the children. "They will feel their punishment but not from me. By the looks of them, they're already no longer feeling so well. By tomorrow they will never want to smoke a peace pipe again."

Ben shrugged. "I don't want to rub salt into the wound but this wouldn't have happened if you had a different attitude to life. Then we would have no warriors, chiefs and peace pipes on the Ponderosa."

Adam crossed his arms and looked challengingly at his father. "Even your daughter was there, if I may remind you."

"Yes, the one who, if she were to listen to her father more than to her brother, would learn how to sew buttons and not what herbs are suitable to talk to the Great Spirit."

Adam looked past his father and saw how the children were one after another running off with their hands before their mouths and even paler faces. "This conversation with the Great Spirit they won't forget and repeat so soon. I'm quite confident. What are you doing on the weekend, Pa?"

Laughing Ben slapped his son on the back when he saw his desperate expression. "I'm invited to a barbecue on Saturday night ... after we helped you to rebuild the barn. But then I expect that I'll get the biggest steak from you." Before Ben went to his wife, he looked again to the barn and shook his head. "You know Adam, I once said to you I wish you children who are all the way you are but this story today is much better. Not even Little Joe did that."

XXXX

Adam stood between the remains of the barn and looked around.  
"Mr Cartwright, ... "  
Completely covered with soot and dirt Jenkins came running toward him. "... I'm sorry about what happened here. Your father has just explained you want to rebuild the barn at the weekend. Of course I'm going to help you and if we don't manage to get it finished, I will postpone our departure by a few days."

Exhausted, Adam put his hands akimbo and looked around. "Thank you, Mr Jenkins, but it wasn't just your daughter's fault. If you look at it closely, it was my fault."

"Your …?"  
Jenkins couldn't hide his astonishment at the statement. "Why should you be to blame?"

With his hand Adam ran over his face. "If I hadn't given the children an understanding of the Indian culture they would never have had the idea to smoke the peace pipe."

Smiling, Jenkins scratched his neck. "Mr Cartwright, my daughter could burn the barn every week when she shows me that she understands and accepts the culture of the Indians."

"Jenkins, I think you'll always be a mystery to me. I'm never quite sure what you really think of the Indians. Sometimes I feel like you understand them and would do everything to make sure their culture isn't forgotten and the next moment I have the impression you'll do anything if you never have to talk about Indians again."

Jenkins turned away and looked to the mountains. He breathed deeply in and out. "Most importantly, your children will be able to stay with you and I will leave next week when we are finished with the barn. Everything else is secondary."

Adam didn't need to look into Jenkins' face to know he was fighting with his anger. Looking at his back and how tense it was, was enough. Jenkins took another deep breath then turned back to Adam and smiled at him. "I'll take care of my daughter. I think she's going to have some difficult hours ahead."

Adam nodded. He saw that at the moment there was no point in talking to Sally's father. Although he would have liked to know what Jenkins was so busy with.  
Before he went to his children Adam looked around again. Jenkins had stopped and looked questioningly at him. "Are you looking for anything, Mr Cartwright?"

Adam slapped his thighs with his hands. "I know it's hopeless when I see this mess. But Riccardo confessed to me that he had taken my guitar into the barn. I had the ho ... "

He didn't speak any further when he saw Jenkins grinning. "I put it on the porch. It did get its share but nothing you couldn't mend with some skills. I had taken it with me when I took the first horse out of the stall."

Jenkins walked away.  
"Jenk ..!"

"No thanks, Cartwright. Not for that. "

Shortly Adam raised his hands but then he also went to the house pretty exhausted. Surely he would be busy half the night with the two children who were struggling with the aftermath of their adventure.

XXXX

Adam wondered if he had forgotten something but then he shook his head. He had done everything he had planned in town. He had also briefly visited Tom to convince him to work on Saturday on the construction of the barn. Of course, with the prospect of a barbecue, he had made the whole thing a bit more tempting and so his friend had agreed to come out with the whole family on Saturday morning.

Tyler's father had contacted Adam the day after the fire and offered him the wood as compensation for the damage his son had done. But as Marc had looked at him, he hadn't come by himself to the Ponderosa but on the orders of his father. He still didn't like to see his son meet with Aiyana but he didn't have the guts to face his father.

So Adam made his way to Sport who he had left near the livery stable. He was passing a small street when he was grabbed by the arm and pushed rather fiercely against a wall. He had to look twice to recognize the young men standing in front of him. Adam stood straight and rubbed his upper arm. "You're Lewis, aren't you? The cousin of Mitch."

The boy, who was hardly older than Little Joe, came madly after him. "Yes I am. And I'll beat you up because you have Mitch on your conscience."  
"Don't make yourself unhappy, kid. I didn't ask Mitch to come to the construction site."

Lewis took a step back and put his hand on the gun. "Come on, Cartwright. What my cousin hasn't done, I'm going to do for him today."

"You won't do anything today. The only thing you have to do is to make a quick getaway and go home."

With a swirl, Lewis turned to look at Jenkins, who was standing at the end of the road. "Who are you barging in? I'm just getting things in line, like you do."

Slowly Jenkins came closer. "I don't like to repeat myself."

"Lewis, get home before it comes to a bad end."

Lewis' eyes wandered back from Jenkins to Adam, who had his hand on the holster, too. Lewis' friends had gone back a few steps, because the whole matter was getting increasingly dangerous. "I don't understand you, Mister. My cousin told me he was glad that you were finally here and that we should be freed from this riffraff. And now you're going to help this Indian friend?"

Sally's father approached Lewis, until he was real close to him. "How old are you, seventeen ... eighteen? Did you ever get involved with the Indians, or are you just repeating what your cousin blathered?"

Lewis straightened up in order not to show that he was about to loose control of the situation. He could, after he had been bragging to his friends, not stand there like a coward. "What did Cartwright promise you that you are on his side all of a sudden? Free choice in terms of the squaws in his village?"

"Lewis, get out now, or else ..."

Jenkins pushed Adam a bit to the side but didn't interrupt eye contact with Lewis. "Cartwright, I'll get this done."

Then he pushed Mitch's cousin roughly on the shoulder. "You really want to mess with me? Do you think you stand a chance against me? You're such a pathetic nothing. Because of such guys as you are, other people have to die. What makes you think you're better than an Indian? It can't be your intelligence."

Jenkins became more and more angry and Adam knew what Sally's father was out for. "Jenk ..."

"Shut up, Cartwright. Such guys are making my life what it is. Come on, you little miserable rat, show me you're a man!" 

Jenkins walked back a few steps. His hand was only a few inches above his gun. Before Lewis could reach his, Adam stood between the two. With his back he stood to Jenkins. He had now pulled his gun out of the holster and aimed at Lewis. "Get the hell out of here, Lewis."

The boy didn't need to think twice. He knew he had lost. "We'll meet another day, Cartwright and ..." He pointed to Jenkins. "... I'll remember your face, too."

He turned to his friends and left the alley.  
"What was that, Cartwright? Why do you interfere in things which are of no concern to you?"

Angry Adam turned to Sally's father. "Which don't concern me? Lewis wanted to mess with me and not with you. I should rather ask what's wrong with you? Have you ever thought what you were doing right now? You would have to go to jail if I hadn't intervened. I would have had to testify that you have provoked Lewis until he has reached for his gun. That would certainly have brought you behind bars for a few years."

The eyes of the two men reflected the rage they had just felt. But each of them for a different reason. Jenkins didn't answer Adam but looked past him in the direction Lewis had disappeared with his friends. Then he left the little street. 

"Jenk ..."

"Not now, Cartwright."

Adam didn't succeed in saying anything else. Sally's father had already disappeared around the corner. When Adam went after him, he could only see him leaving town very quickly.

XXXX

All the way to the Ponderosa, Jenkins tried to calm down. As often as in the last few weeks, he hadn't had to fight the wrong wolf in a long time. To control himself again he had to leave this place in the next few days. Too many memories were awakened in him, which he had long tried to push aside. He stopped briefly to close his eyes. He had clenched his fists. In this mood, he didn't want to ride back to the Ponderosa. He didn't want his daughter to see him like that.

Slowly he opened his eyes and remembered the creek he had seen when he was at the village. Perhaps the cold water and the peace would help him to calm down the wrong wolf.  
Even as he saw the creek from a distance, a slight smile returned to his lips. He knew as fast as the wrong wolf appeared just as quickly it pulled back. But that it had appeared so often since he had been here in Nevada, was causing him problems.

In his mind he could already feel the cold water as he dismounted from his horse. Then he stopped. Not far from him a little Indian boy crouched on the shore and watched the water. As he approached him, Jenkins realized that the boy was Adam's nephew. Immediately Sally's father looked around but couldn't spot anyone who was with the boy. So he crouched down beside him and spoke to Travis in a gentle voice. "Hello, little warrior. What are you doing here all alone?"

Travis looked anxiously at the water. "Will have fish. To play."

"You want to play with a fish?"

Travis nodded vigorously, looking at him now. "Wynono allows me."

Now Jenkins had to laugh and stood up. "He should give you one of his puppies to play with and not a fish. Then I wouldn't have to listen to the whining of Sally that we should take one."  
Again, he looked around but still he couldn't see anyone who was with the boy. "Travis, could it be that your mother doesn't know you're here?"

Travis' big eyes looked at him and he shrugged. Shaking his head, he took the reins of his horse and reached his hand out to Travis. "I think we both go back home. You're sure to be looked for. "

Sadly Travis pointed to the water. "No fish?"

"No fish. … Not today."

Koko's son took the hand of Jenkins and together they went to the farm. When Travis saw Koko and Pelipa, who were already looking for him, he let go of Jenkins' hand and ran towards them.  
Koko knelt in front of Travis and exhorted him not to run away again without notice when Jenkins reached the small group. Koko stood up and smiled at Jenkins. "Where did you find him?"

"He was down at the creek. He wanted to catch a fish to play with. "

At first Koko looked at Travis and then to Pelipa, shaking her head. "Wynono, ... I think I should have a serious talk with him."

Then she looked back at Jenkins. "... Thank you for bringing him back to me. I don't want to think about what could have happened."

Jenkins stroked Travis' head. "The road of his life is still long. There will always be someone who has an eye on him."

He took the reins and went to get on his horse. "Mr Jenkins, Pelipa has just made fresh tea and cakes. I would be glad if you accompany us to the house."

Jenkins looked at the two women, nodded slightly, then went with them to the house.  
"My father told me that he smoked with you the sacred pipe."

"Yes."

Jenkins didn't want to say more but he noticed Koko looking at him from the side. "He usually doesn't do this with every white man. He must trust you very much."

They reached the house and Koko looked at him and waited for an answer. Jenkins took a deep breath. "Then I must have found the right words, so he trusts me."

Appraisingly Koko glanced at him briefly. "Then I'll get the cake ..." She pointed to the bench with the table in front of it. "... Pelipa, you can start pouring the tea."

Jenkins felt that it hadn't been such a good idea to come to the farm. Not only Koko's mood was slightly cooled, even Pelipa didn't look at him kindly as she poured the tea and handed him a cup. "You work for the office of Indian Affairs?"

When he answered, he looked into her eyes. "Not anymore."

She raised her eyebrows only slightly. They finished eye contact only when Koko returned with the cake. Jenkins took a sip of tea and immediately closed his eyes. Only after the third sip he opened them again and noticed the astonished expression of Koko and Pelipa. He tried to smile. "It was still a bit hot."

"Why are you so silent, Mr Jenkins, and try to maintain the image of the evil white man? Because if you really were, you couldn't have taken one step into the village."

"Mrs Cartwright, I'll leave next week. I don't have to make friends here."

Koko tilted her head and looked briefly at Pelipa. Then she handed the plate with the small pieces of cake to Jenkins. He hesitated as he saw the cake.  
"Are you afraid that it's poisoned, because it's an Indian cake that was even prepared by an Indian?"

Not only the look but also the voice of Pelipa clearly showed what she thought about Jenkins. Jenkins put the cup on the table and then took one of the cake pieces. "I've never been afraid of anything."

One bite was enough and Jenkins held his breath as a flood of images appeared in his mind. He had to swallow several times to calm down the wrong wolf. Carefully, he put the piece back next to his cup. His voice was very soft when he looked at the two women. "I'd better go now. Thanks for the tea ..." He looked directly at Pelipa. "... and the cake."

"Mr Jenkins ... "

"Mrs Cartwright, I'm going to leave next week, everything else won't make sense."  
He looked around again. "... but you should try to preserve what you've got here."

Jenkins mounted his horse and rode away.

XXXX

"Well, what about joining me on the roof top today, Frederic?"

With raised finger, Frederic waved his hand. "You can forget about that, Adam. The schoolhouse in Boston was almost out of my league but your barn here ... ?"  
Now he put his hands akimbo. "... Adam, why does it have to be so big ...?"  
He put his head back and looked up. "... and so high?"

Adam laughed, took off his shirt and put it aside. They weren't only lucky with the weather but they also made good progress with the construction. If nothing unpredictable happened, they would be finished by evening. "Frederic, I think ahead. If one day all my children have their own horses, then the old barn wouldn't have been sufficient, especially not when we still need one or the other horse."

Horrified, his friend looked at him. "Bridget is pregnant again?"

Adam slapped him on the back. "No, she isn't but at some point ..."  
Adam grinned. "… who knows?"

"You're as crazy as she is. Hasn't the barn been enough to you? Anyway I cannot understand that you have remained so quiet about this. For Riccardo I made very clear that he should never do it again."

Adam looked at him very seriously. "Yes, I got that and you know my opinion. For me, they have already been punished by feeling lousy for two days. Frederic, you can believe me, my children will still be annoyed enough that they did that. Till the end of the year they have the honor of taking care of the new barn all by themselves and if they forget it, the punishment will be extended by one month each time and you have noticed how big it is. The two will have a lot of fun. Especially when it gets cold."

Frederic shook his head. "You're right. I think I will never really understand you and your attitude. I also lack this calmness that you always show when such a thing happens. Well, I'll see how far Little Joe and my father are with the next boards."

He looked up again at the roofframing. "And now you're going up there?"

"Yes, I will enjoy the wonderful view from above."

Laughing Frederic went to his father.

"Adam, ..."  
Just as Adam was trying to get on the ladder to get on the roof, Emillia addressed him. "Adam, would you do me a favor?"  
He went down the two steps to listen to her. Emillia glanced up at the roof beams. "Could you talk to Mr Jenkins?"

Amazed and amused, Adam laughed. "First, why should I do this? Secondly, I don't think he'll be talking much to me. He's been more silent in the last few days than any fish Hoss and I ever caught. "

Emillia laughed. "That's why I'm asking you to do it. Even with us he said hardly a word during the last few days and ... "  
Now her face changed and she looked at him with concern. "Sally helped me do the dishes yesterday. Adam, the girl feels so comfortable here. She even went to school voluntarily."

Adam shrugged. "And what am I supposed to do now? You mean when I talk to him, he'll stay here? I doubt that."

"I only thought, because it's just that you understand what it means to have no real home. Sally told me that she has found real friends for the first time. She no longer wants to move from place to place and I'm firmly convinced that you are the right person to talk to him."

Adam looked thoughtfully up to the roof. "Emillia, you keep on saying this. Why do you think that? So far, the talks between Jenkins and me, ... well, haven't been the friendliest." 

She grabbed him by the arm. "Even if he doesn't talk about it, I know that the Indians are as important to him as to you."

"Why?"

"Adam, it's very warm today, especially up there on the roof and none of you men are wearing his shirt except for Jenkins."

Adam looked up but he couldn't see Sally's father. "And, …. what's that got to do with the Indians?"

With a smile, Emillia touched Adam's necklace. "Ask him, and thank you, Adam."

She turned and went back to the others. She didn't look to him when he called after her that he hadn't promised to talk to Jenkins. But as he climbed the ladder, he wondered what she had meant by her words.  
Adam didn't have to look for long. Jenkins sat lost in thoughts on one of the bars. Emillia had been right. Despite the warmth, he was the only one still wearing his shirt. So Adam went to Sally's father and sat down beside him. He noticed Jenkins looking down at the well where the children were playing and the women were talking.  
"When they're together, I become aware of how many they are."

Jenkins continued to look down. "There are fourteen if you don't count Tyler and my daughter."

Adam noticed how proud he was when he looked down. Not only on his children but on what he and Amarok had achieved. Down there weren't only the children but also Emillia, Bridget, Giovanna and Sybil and they talked with Koko and Pelipa, as if it was something quite ordinary.  
"I wish those guys like Lewis could see what we see here, Mr Cartwright. Maybe they would understand."

"Do we see the same, Mr Jenkins?"

Jenkins lowered his head and held his hand in front of his eyes. "I shouldn't have accepted this order. I should have just quit after the last."

"I've learned that nothing happens without reason. It all has to happen just as it happens and I believe in these words."

"The four laws of vision trip. I would also like to believe in them again."  
He took his hand from his eyes and raised his head to look at the mountains. "But I've got no more strength left. I haven't heard the voice of the Great Spirit for a long time."

Adam didn't look at Sally's father. He also looked to the mountains. "Will you tell me your story, Mr Jenkins?"

Just as with the talks with Amarok, it took a while till Jenkins began to speak. "I was the youngest of five children. My siblings all took after my mother, whom my father had only married because she was whiter than any other white woman. She had red hair and had to take care every summer when she worked outside in the field so she didn't burn her skin. He hated me from day one because I was too much like him and he let me feel it. Every day, every hour, every minute, I felt his anger.

I was hardly older than three years when my siblings told me why my father was so angry with me. My grandfather was the chief of a tribe who had his village near us. I remember very well that I was wondering why my father didn't like me and his father. I imagined the worst things, what or how my grandfather might be. So I went to this village one morning to see how Indians really looked and was surprised that they didn't have five heads and ten arms. But then I asked myself again what might be the reason that my father couldn't love me."

Adam gave Jenkins the time to look at the mountains to gather strength for his next words. "I went to the village and searched for my grandfather. It didn't take long and my grandmother came up to me and took me in her arms. Later she told me that when she was in the wood, she always looked to our house to take a look at us children. That's why she had recognized me right away. For me it was the best day I had ever had, so I went to the village every day. It didn't take long and my father noticed where I was spending my time."

From the corner of his eye, Adam could see Jenkins clenching his hands into fists. "If the punishments which I had received previously for every trifle had been bad, the punishment I received for visiting the village was something I'll never forget. But it didn't stop me from going to my grandparents. What I learned there and the love I got from my grandparents was worth every blow I always got the night after.

I was seven when I returned from the village one evening. I was glad I had made it home in time because of a thunderstorm. Like every day my father was standing at the door to wait for me. But this time he didn't go to the barn with me. He had a gun in his hand and dragged me to the fence of the paddock. I will never forget his gaze and his words. He laughed and said that since he couldn't beat that Indian blood out of me, he would show me how Indians live. He ordered me to stand by the fence and if I dared to sit down or fall asleep, he was going to shoot me. He himself sat down on a chair under the roof of the porch with his rifle on his lap. He didn't get a wink of sleep that night either. He waited to shoot me and everyone would have believed him that he had mistaken me for a horse thief. But that night, I learned how strong you can be when you believe in something. If you're convinced that you're doing the right thing. Even in lightning and thunder I didn't give him the favor to wince. All night we held eye contact. I think I didn't even tremble with cold. I just knew I hadn't done anything wrong and he couldn't break me. When the sun rose and it grew bright, I had won. I walked past him without saying a word and went into the house to grab my things. From that day on, I lived with my grandparents in the village and my father never came by to take me home."

Jenkins closed his eyes and paused for a while, before continuing with his story. "Those were wonderful years. Happy years, although it wasn't always easy at school, but for me it was important to learn and so I went through my private hell every day. Of course, I asked my grandparents why my father had such hatred inside."

Jenkins shook his head briefly. "My father didn't believe that his mother really loved my grandfather. He only heard that she was the only survivor when her wagon train was attacked by Indians. She could have gone any time but she stayed with him in the village. Until the last day there was a love between the two that I've never seen with my parents. But my father only heard what horrible things Indians did to the Whites and so he left the village quite early and didn't return.

I had just finished school when my grandmother died. Shortly after the army came into the village. They said the tribe would have to be relocated to a reservation and we should start packing our things. My grandfather was no longer the strong warrior as before due to the death of my grandmother. Also our tribe was no longer very large. Many had gone before or had died from diseases of the white man. The army gave us four weeks. Then they would to come to get us."

Jenkins took a deep breath. "My grandfather didn't want me to accompany him. He said that my job is to pass on to others what I learned and I couldn't do that in a reservation. He also didn't believe that he would reach the destination. And he was right. Too far was the way. Many of the tribe paid for the government's plans with their lives. The handful, who arrived in the reservation, fell quickly sick with all sorts of things. The last of my tribe died three years ago."

Now Jenkins turned to Adam for the first time. "That's why, Mr Cartwright, you have to fight on. To preserve what you've got here. It's something very precious."

For a long time Adam looked down at his family and thought about what he has heard. "Does Sally know this story?"

Jenkins laughed bitterly. "No, Mr Cartwright. Because my story hasn't such a happy ending as yours."

With head tilted Adam looked at Jenkins. "My back is broad enough to hear that too."

Sadly, Jenkins looked at his daughter. "I've worked on a ranch to make some money. To achieve my goals. I met Sally's mother and it didn't take long and I asked her if we should get married. Today I don't know whether the idea was stronger to finally have a family, than what I felt for her. In any case, she said yes and stayed that night with me ..."

The eyes of Jenkins were still directed at Sally. "... The next morning, she was terrified by what my family history was. I don't repeat the words she threw at my head. What can I say, Mr Cartwright? I was just about to pack my things to go to New York when she stood in front of my door. She gave me Sally, who was just three days old. She didn't want to have this Indian brat and had actually hoped she would die. If she hadn't been hanged, she would have thrown Sally into the next river. So I stood there with packed bags and a baby and looked at a woman who hated me for who my grandfather was. And she wasn't the only one who despised me for what I am. In the beginning, I was still very open with my past but with time I had to learn that silence is better for us."

He looked at his hands. "Mr Cartwright, I won't tell Sally that her mother didn't want her and I can't talk to her about my relationship to the Indians. When something happens to me, noone is there for her and there wouldn't have been anyone who would take her in. There are too many people like Mitch and Lewis. I had to defend my life, and not only once, because of the narrow-mindedness of the people."

It made Adam furious as he thought about Jenkins' words. Yes, he had achieved much with Amarok here. But as it looked, it was just a drop in the bucket. Again he felt confirmed that it was right that he had convinced Clement to go into politics. Even though they both knew that he certainly couldn't achieve much. But perhaps, he had at one point or another some influence when it came to the interests of the Indians. "Why do you want to move on? Stay here. Here you don't need to hide. "  
He turned to Jenkins. "You don't fight on your own here."

Sally's father spoke to him with his eyes closed. "I haven't just lost the confidence in the Great Spirit but also in the people who surround me. I've been disappointed too much, Mr Cartwright. "

"You can trust me ..."  
He held out his hand to Jenkins. "I'm Adam. Amarok calls me Wynono. For him, I am his son. An Indian wouldn't just say that for no reason."

Skeptically, Jenkins looked at Adam's hand. "Can I do that to Sally? Because if I stay, she will get to know the truth."

Adam looked down at the children and smiled. "Would Sally be a warrior in the tribe of my daughter if she rejects the Indians?"

Jenkins shook his head and smiled as well, as he looked down. Then he took Adam's hand. "Simon, and my grandfather called me Hok'ee."

They didn't let go of their hands as they continued to look at each other, smiling.  
"Hey Adam, do you want to take the whole day off, or will you finally be participating in the work?"

Tom stood on the other side of the roof, raised the hammer in the air and laughed. Adam got up and pulled Jenkins onto his feet. "I only will say 'Jenks' to you. For I rarely came farther than 'Jenk', if I wanted to talk to you and now something else ... "  
He tapped Jenkins against his chest. "... please take off the shirt so I finally know what Emillia has seen and therefore knew that you cannot be a bad guy."  
Hesitantly Sally's father looked down again. "You want to trust me and start anew. Then start up here."

Slowly, Jenkins opened his shirt, pulled it off and after hesitating again, he threw it down on the ground. With crossed arms Adam shrugged and looked at him questioningly. Jenkins also shrugged and turned around. Adam whistled and lowered his arms as he saw his back. "I thought only chiefs and some warriors are allowed to wear such a thing?"

Jenkins looked over his shoulder as he answered. "Normally it is so. But I wanted to have something that always reminds me of my grandfather. So he gave me permission to have it done. "

"Is that your grandfather?"  
Jenkins nodded. "And the two wolves? What are they for?"

"The wolf is my guardian spirit and my grandfather wanted me to have the wrong wolf tattooed on my back, too. It should remind me that there are two. In his eyes the wrong wolf was always very fast with me." Grinning, he turned around again. "Like you saw it with Lewis."

"ADAM ..., should I play the Sheriff here?"

Adam pointed to Tom with his thumb but without looking at him. "We'll tame your wrong wolf, or Tom will do and believe me, you don't want to spend the night at his special hotel."  
Laughing, Adam hit Jenkins on the shoulder. "Then let's get on or we will get nothing from the barbecue."

Adam went to the other side to continue working. Jenkins stood still for a while and looked down, until he was reminded by Tom to finally get moving.

XXXX

Bridget and Koko stood in the kitchen and placed the glasses on a tray. "Koko, did Adam tell you already? Jenkins doesn't leave. He's staying with Sally. "

Koko nodded and looked out of the window to the others standing by the fire and talking. "Yes, I heard that and did you see what I saw?"

"Yes, I did and if my nice husband should only have the slightest idea to get something tattooed on his back, I will immediately pack my bags."

Koko had to laugh loudly. "I think he won't go that far, well ... I hope so."

Seriously, Bridget looked at her friend. "Koko ... I rely on you. If you have the slightest suspicion that he has such a thing in mind, please tell me at once."

"I'll do that, promise."  
She still had to grin when she figured out what Bridget would do with Adam if he were to be tattooed on the back. "For Sally, I'm glad that they stay. She has become so well settled here and I think it was about time that she finally gets a real home."

"I agree with that. She has only been with me for a few days but already I have noticed, what a lovely and bright girl she is. What amazed me is that she's just as good as the other kids. You don't realize she hasn't been to school for quite a long time."

"I also think the two will settle in well here and if you have also seen what I've seen before, the year for the two could still end up beautifully."

Bridget smirked. "Of course I saw it, Koko, but let the two of them settle properly before you make such plans."

Koko put the last glass on the tray and lifted it up. "You don't want Adam to be tattooed and I don't want Jenkins to crib one thing or another from Adam. Especially not in terms of important decisions. I have no intention to stand watching anything else as long as the last time."

Grinning, both women left the kitchen. Bridget knew exactly what Koko had meant.


	89. Chapter 89

With his arm, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked into the sky. Not a cloud could be seen. For two weeks it was already so hot, unusual for the end of May. If it was going to be such a hot Summer again, he was worried, how the next cattle drive would proceed. Certainly not better than his first.

Little Joe took the hammer in his hand and took a big swing. But still this damned pole wasn't as deep in the earth as it should be. Furiously, he kicked it with the result that it toppled over and he had to start over again. Cursing, he picked it up but let it instantly fall with fright when he was addressed.  
"Hello, Little Joe."

With a wide grin, Joe turned around and greeted Dianne standing beside her horse and smiling at him. "Hello, Dianne. You doing a little trip?"

She smirked and Joe noticed how she looked at him closely. His gaze fell on his shirt, which hung over one of the other poles. With an even broader grin he stood straight. "No, I've just come from your brother's house. School's out."

Embarrassed Joe scratched his neck. "That's right, yes. I haven't gotten used to the teaching now taking place there."

She came a step closer. "Will you come to town for the dance on Saturday?"

Joe looked around quickly to see if Adam was back. When he couldn't see his brother, he took Dianne in his arms and kissed her. Without letting go of her, he replied. "I can't tell yet. My father's out of town at the moment and I don't know if my mother will let me go or whether I should help her with the two girls."

Shyly, Dianne put her hand on Joe's chest. "But if you come, then you'll pick me up?"

He whispered to her a 'Yes, of course'. Then he kissed her again. Suddenly, he jumped back two feet and pushed her a little away as he heard a throat clearing. Slightly confused and angry Dianne looked at Joe. He ran straight to the pole to put his shirt on. "Hello ... Hoss, ... um, .. nice to see you."

Slowly Hoss got off his horse. "Hello, Little Joe, ... Dianne."  
In amazement Dianne looked to Joe and then back to Hoss. "Dianne, I think your parents are waiting with lunch for you. Besides, Joe still has a lot to do. Don't you, Joe?"

Joe took the hammer in his hand again. "No, .. well ... yes."

Now, Dianne looked more annoyed at Joe. "Joe, I think you don't care what my father says. You told me you're not afraid of him."

"Well, ..."

Little Joe tried to smile. Then Hoss put his hand on Dianne's shoulder and pushed her slightly to her horse. "Unfortunately, Little Joe isn't afraid of your father but he has a lot to do and if he doesn't get it all done, he'll be afraid. Especially because of his boss who won't pay him any wages so he can't go out with you because he has no money."

Now Dianne laughed again and went to Joe. "Of course, then I won't stop you, my hard-working man."

Dianne gave him another kiss and rode away. Now Hoss couldn't hold back the laughter. "Did she just say 'man' to you, little brother?"

Rudely Joe pushed Hoss on the shoulder. "I'll be eighteen soon. When will you finally understand that I'm not a little boy anymore?"

Still Hoss laughed. "When you don't look like one anymore. Did you want to impress her with this _chicken breast_?

Oh Joe, to achieve this, you still have to build a lot of fences."  
Hoss stopped laughing and looked around. "Did you do this all by yourself?"

While still somewhat offended, Joe couldn't hide some pride in his voice. "Most of it. At first, Adam was still with me but he wanted to go back to his construction site. The work will be going on today. But he should be back soon."

Recognizing Hoss slapped his brother on the back. "Gosh, little brother. Should you really become a man and even a cowboy?"

Little Joe cocked his head and looked at Hoss angrily. "Why do I get the feeling you just don't take me seriously?"

"Hey, I really wanted to praise you. You won't be hearing that so often."  
Hoss looked around. "You still have a lot to do. Does Adam expect you to do this all today?"

"He wants us to be ready today so that we can break the horses during the next days and then begin to prepare the trail."

Hoss shook his head. "Our big brother wants to do it all at once. He apparently still isn't working to capacity with all he's stuck with. Look, Shortshanks, I'll help you here. Otherwise you can forget about your Saturday night because you're still not finished here."

Joe didn't hesitate to accept the offer of his brother, so they went to work together.

"Well, did you find someone to do the hard work for you?"

Joe, who was standing at a pole to take a sip from the canteen, looked at Adam, who was leaning on the saddle horn and looked at him without saying what he was thinking. "I'm having a short break and I don't know if you noticed it? It's damn hot today."

Slowly Adam straightened and got out of the saddle without letting Joe out of his eyes. "But you have enough strength left to snap at me."

Angrily Joe put the canteen aside. "I wonder why ...! As soon as you're here, you're telling me I'm lazy again. "

"Did I say that?"

Joe was standing close to Adam. "Yes, you did."

"Nope."

With both hands, Joe bumped at Adams upper body, as Adam grinned at him. Confused, Joe tilted his head and looked at him questioningly. "I asked you if you had found someone to do the hard work for you. Nothing more."

"So I'm lazy."

Adam didn't succeed in saying anything, as Hoss joined the two. "Well, are you both at loggerhead again or did you dream up that you two can play lazy in the shade and the good-natured Hoss does everything on his own?"

Joe snapped his finger at Adam. "But he has started it. Just because you help me here."

Now Hoss slapped Adam's back. "Big brother, you can also be a very nasty guy. Do you have to provoke Shortshanks like this?"

With an innocent look and grinning Adam put his hand on his chest.

"You know, Joe. Our big brother asked me yesterday if I could come out here today and help you, because he cannot be here all the time but as always ... " As Hoss had been doing all the years, he took his elder brother into a headlock to annoy him. "... He forgets to mention essential things. To let our poor little brother believe that he has to do it all by himself."  
He let go of Adam and lifted the hammer from the ground. "As punishment, you may now ram the next pegs into the ground."

Briefly, Adam touched his neck. Grinning he pulled off his shirt and went to work. In the late afternoon the three of them packed the things on the wagon and looked around satisfied. "Thank you, Hoss. Without you, Joe and I would have had to come out here again tomorrow."

Completely done Joe hung over the edge of the wagon. "Shortshanks will surely go nowhere tomorrow. The way he has worked today, he can be glad if he can lift his arms at all."

Laughing, Hoss hit Joe on the back and tied his horse to the wagon. Then he picked Joe up and threw him onto the cargo area. "Hoss, that hurt like hell!"

With pained face Joe rubbed his back. "I'll go home with you. Maybe there's something left from lunch."

"Don't say you don't get enough to eat at home!"

Adam climbed into the saddle and rode slowly beside the carriage.  
"Well, since Pelipa lives with us, there is almost only Indian food. It tastes quite good but a fine roast from Hop Sing ... "

With his eyes closed, Hoss rubbed his belly.  
Adam glanced at Joe, who was lying on the cargo area and gave no sound. "Tell me, Hoss, what do you think about going to town for dinner and dancing? We haven't done this for a long time and we're taking our little brother with us. And as a reward for his work today, he can stay away until midnight."

"I've heard that, Adam. I don't need you as a babysitter."

Joe hadn't opened his eyes, nor moved. Hoss turned and looked at him. "Well, you don't seem so very done yet. Then you can just unload the wagon."

"You haven't to tell me anything."

Hoss pointed to Joe with his thumb but looked at Adam. "Very naughty, the little one."

"I've been saying that for years."

Hoss and Adam winked at each other. "A good idea, Adam, but how will you manage that? We have Pelipa to take care of the boys but you don't really want to bring all your children to Emillia?

"No, I'm not going to do that but Bernardo can definitely go to Riccardo and since Clement is away with Pa, Cholette may be staying at Emillia when we're leaving the gang there. It's worth a try."

"Let me know. Count on me, big brother."

They reached the Ponderosa. Meanwhile Joe had fallen asleep. Adam stood at one side of the wagon and took a deep breath. "JOE, ... DIDN'T I TELL YOU HOURS AGO THAT YOU SHOULD UNLOAD THE WAGON?"

Joe opened his eyes wide and looked scared at Adam, who was looking at him very angrily. Without a closer look, he swung himself over the edge of the carriage. Since Hoss and Adam had expected this reaction, Hoss had put the carriage close to the trough. When Joe no longer looked at Adam but wanted to look where he was going to land, it was too late. He landed quite roughly in the water. Laughing, his two brothers stood beside him. "Joe, when you're finished with your bath, then unload the wagon and Joe, ..."

Adam tilted his head and tried to look at him with pity. "... I wouldn't come into the house that wet. Emillia cleaned this morning."  
Grinning, Adam touched his brother's shoulder. "Come on, Hoss. We will both take a look at the kitchen."

"And I got something to tell you. Do you know what Dianne said to Shortshanks today?"

"Dianne was here?"

Joe couldn't hear any longer what his two brothers were talking about. But shortly afterwards he heard Adam laugh out loud.

XXXX

Head-shaking, Bridget stood at the foot of the stairs and watched Adam crawling through the room on all fours with Emilie on his back. "Weren't you going to tuck her in?"  
Adam stopped and turned his head to her. "We're on our way but I'm so stubborn that I just don't want to go to the barn."

Laughing, Emilie hopped on his back to make him move on. "Pony, ... giddyup ...!"

Bridget took her daughter down from his back, slightly annoyed. "Can you at least tell the two big kids that they aren't going to dilly-dally in the barn for so long?"

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Are we a little angry?"

"No."

The sound in her voice clearly said something different. He watched her as she went upstairs with Emilie. When he tried to get up, he paused as a sharp pain shot through his back. Adam closed his eyes and breathed several times. Then he leaned on the chair and stood up carefully. Relieved, he took a deep breath as the pain didn't return. With a further look upstairs he left the house to tell Aiyana and Bernardo that they should do their work in the barn a bit faster today.

Later that evening Adam made his last round around the house. As he came to the rear side, Bridget leaned against a pillar and looked up at the mountains. He quietly stood behind her and put his arms around her body. "Excuse me, I didn't help you with the kids today."

She leaned against him and held his hands tightly. "I must apologize that I ..."  
She grinned. "... I fired reckless arrows."

"Whom should they actually hit?"

"Tyler's father."

"Marc?"

She nodded slightly. "Tyler will celebrate his birthday in a few days and he was allowed to invite some children to eat cake and you can imagine who his guests should be."

Adam smiled. "Our little tribe."

"Yes. Just that Marc doesn't want the chief to be there."

Adam cradled Bridget tightly. "Marc has always been that way. Even earlier, he couldn't understand that I was friends with Koko."

"But Adam, Tyler goes in and out in our home but if Aiyana is to be with him only two hours, Marc makes a fuss. Tyler said he's going to give up on his birthday if Aiyana isn't allowed to come and Marc said then that's the way it is. How can anyone do this to his child?"

At first Adam didn't know what to say. As so often, he looked up at the mountains and wondered why the adults couldn't see what the children saw. That a wonderful friendship between the six children had developed. Also Sally spent every free minute with Aiyana and the other children. Jenkins and she had moved from the main house into one of the small houses of the cowboys. Sally could always be with them, either at the Ponderosa or here, if her father had to work longer. "Then we should ask Tyler if he would like to eat his birthday cake with his friends here."

Bridget turned to Adam. "This will only cause trouble again, Adam. Would you just look at it as a father?"

"I hope I will never forbid my children to meet with their friends."

Smiling, Bridget put her hands on his chest. "We'll talk again when your little princess is in love for the first time."

"This will take a long time, ... take a very long time ... take really long ... take damn long ..."  
Still smiling, Bridget put her head on his chest. "It's hard for you with the many children and don't say that it isn't. I can see how done you are every night."

"It's not for long. But after the holidays we really need a teacher again." 

"In the next few weeks someone will come and go for a job interview. He is a bit older but he would take over for the next two years. So we'd have enough time to continue searching."

She looked up slightly. "You expect me to believe you? That a teacher is coming and you accept him?"

"We must be lucky once." 

With a deep sigh, she broke from his embrace. "Please don't be angry but I'm terribly tired and when the twins sleep so restlessly this night, it will be a very short one."

Adam gave her a kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. "I hope you'll be able to keep up tomorrow."

She looked at him a bit tormented. "Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?"

"Well, I thought we'd go out for dinner and dance. Hoss and Koko are joining us."  
Horrified, Bridget's eyes widened. "Adam, we can't leave Bernardo and Aiyana alone with the little ones for so long."

"We won't do that either. Bernardo goes to Frederic and Cholette stays on the Ponderosa and helps Emillia with the children."

Delicately she ran her hand down his cheek. "You've already planned and coordinated everything?"

Without taking his eyes from hers, he kissed her hand. "Yes, I did, because I think we both deserve to do something without our little shadows. The best thing is that we can sleep long on Sunday. We won't meet till lunch at the Ponderosa."

Despite the tiredness there was a glint in her eyes. "All Sunday morning only the two of us alone?"

Adam whispered only before he kissed her long and tenderly. "Only we both ... till noon."

XXX

Jenkins dismounted and crouched in front of Travis, who was playing in front of the farmhouse. "Hello, little warrior. Is your father at home?"

Travis shook his head. "Liwanu now bear in the house."

Jenkins looked at the house with a smile. "You're a bear? Is that your name?

Travis tried to tell him in sign language that he was a buzzing bear.  
The smile of Jenkins grew bigger and he took Travis' hands to help him with the signs. "You have to slow down a bit. Then everyone can understand you."

"Can I help you?"

Sally's father still had Travis' hands in his hand as he looked up. Pelipa stood with Nick in the arms behind Koko's son and by her gaze Jenkins could once again see that she wasn't very pleased about his visit. Slowly he stood up and stroked Travis over his head. "I'm actually looking for Hoss." 

"He's with Koko in town."

Neither of them moved and Pelipa's gaze hadn't changed. "When will he be back?"

Pelipa looked at Travis, who was looking up, watching the two. "Travis, please go wash your hands. We want to eat soon."  
She turned back to Sally's father. "Today is Saturday. As they are out for dancing, it might be late and I cannot imagine Hoss forgot that and invited you."

For a moment, Jenkins closed his eyes. He didn't want the bad wolf shooting reckless arrows. He couldn't blame Pelipa that she was still out of sorts with him. They'd talked very nicely about the reasons why he had this tattoo on his back but more than that this was his grandfather and that he had grown up in a village, he hadn't told her. "Hoss knew I wanted to come but not when. Since I'm going to stay here, I need my own horse. So I wanted to get one from the farm."

Pelipa went to the small table on the porch and put Nick on his chair. She looked at him again and went into the house without saying anything. Travis tugged at his pant leg and showed his hands "Gluska?"

"What?"

"Clean?"

Jenkins went back to the crouch and looked at his hands. "Yes, they are all clean. You know, Travis, I don't understand everything you say. My tribe had spoken a different language. Some words are similar but not all. But I try to learn them as you continue to learn sign language and then we can talk both in the language of your grandfather."

"Oh, don't you feel ashamed any longer of what you are, or does it better fit into your new role?"

Deeply, Jenkins had to exhale before he got up. He took Travis' hand and took him to the table. Meanwhile Pelipa had put a pan of food on the table. She took the first plate and handed it to Travis, who ran his hand over his belly expectantly. "Čhaŋnákpa ..."

Pelipa noticed how Jenkins looked into the pan while thinking. "As the children eat it, it's not poisoned and you can also have some if you like. There is enough."

Jenkins didn't respond to her words, too many pictures were popping up in his head. The smell had immediately reminded him of his grandmother's food. Like Travis, fried mushrooms had always been his favorite dish. The way it smelled, Pelipa must have used the same herbs as his grandmother back then.  
"Mr Jenkins ...? " 

Sally's father looked up startled. Softly, he began to stammer. "I'd better go."

"Why? Do you still worry that they're the wrong mushrooms?"

His next words sounded sharper than intended. "I told you before, I've never been afraid and I have no idea why you're still so angry with me."

In the meantime, she had fed Nick and had taken a plate herself. Then she took another plate and placed it in front of a vacant seat. With her hand, she pointed to the chair. "I'm angry that you seem to be too cowardly to stand up to what you are. Only if you can take advantage of it you come out with your past. You needed a new job and it was wonderful that Wynono was a friend of the Gosiute."

Still a little reluctantly Jenkins sat down. "I have always confessed to what I am. But to protect my daughter, I had to become quieter. I almost ended up on the gallows only because of my past and I didn't want that to happen to me again. Now I can be again who I am. Because I know there are people who will be there for Sally if something should happen to me."

Silently, they continued the meal. When they were done, Pelipa stood up and took Nick back on her arm. "Travis, are you coming? I'll take you to bed."  
She looked at Jenkins, who was just leaning back, looking to her. "You tell me about your grandfather when I'm back?"

At first Jenkins looked at the table but then he nodded slowly. Pelipa went into the house with the two children and after a while Jenkins cleared the table, carried the plates in and did the dishes.

XX

"And, are you tired already?"

She smiled at him. "Not at all."

"Then we can still dance two more hours."

Bridget had to laugh softly. "I can remember very well that there was a time when you were not at all enthusiastic about dancing."

With a small jerk he pulled her closer. "Then I was young and shy."

Quickly, Bridget held her hand to her mouth. "Young, yes, but shy? Perhaps with what was happening with both of us, but otherwise certainly not. Frederic didn't make any pretense of what you both did in the evening."

"I think we should now use the power of silence and concentrate on dancing."  
With a small smile he gave her a quick kiss and smiling they kept on dancing. 

"Tell me, Little Joe wasn't here with Tammy earlier?"

Adam looked slightly over his shoulder and saw his brother dancing with Jennifer. "Yes, but maybe she had to go home. Though I thought he'd meet Dianne here."

"Oh, he has. Didn't you see that? We weren't even an hour here, she appeared and Little Joe couldn't look as fast as she'd grabbed him and pulled him outside. By the way he held his cheek, Dianne wasn't exactly pleased to see him with Tammy."

Adam couldn't prevent his eyes from rolling. "And the way it looks, Tammy was also angry with him. But as usual, my little brother has quickly gotten over the loss."

Tenderly, Bridget touched his chest. "He'll be only eighteen. I can understand him that he doesn't always want to go out with the same girl. If you're honest, you didn't want that, too, at that age."

"But not like this. I never gave them the feeling that I ... "  
He didn't continue to speak and started to grin when he saw Bridget's eyes. "... The power of silence?"

With a smile Bridget nodded to him.  
Later they stood outside and looked up to the stars. "What do you think, the others want to stay much longer?"

"Are you getting tired?"

Adam took a step closer to her. "You don't need to grin, Adam Cartwright. Yes, the last weeks have been a bit exhausting and tonight you have an endurance while dancing that I have rarely seen with you."

He took her face in both hands and gave her a long, tender kiss. Then he smiled at her. "I love you, Bridget, and I'd like to keep you in my arms day and night."

For a long time they looked into each other's eyes, sharing more than words could ever express. "I love you, too, Adam."

After another, loving kiss, Bridget leaned against him and felt secure in his arms. Like him, she would want to enjoy this moment forever. From the corner of her eye, she saw Koko leaving the hotel and standing at the end of the terrace. "Do you know what's wrong with Koko? The whole evening she was so ... different."

Adam looked at Koko, who was looking into the distance. "Yes, I've noticed that. Bridget, ..."

He took a step back and looked worriedly at his wife, who only smiled at him. "It's all right. Go to her and talk to her."

She stroked his cheek again and he gave her another kiss. Then he went to Koko while Bridget went back into the hall. Carefully, Adam stood behind Koko and touched her gently on the shoulder. „Ophí-šni?"

Koko took a deep breath but didn't turn. "Yes, I'm fine."

"And why don't you look me in the eyes?" She let her head hang down. He turned her around by her shoulder and raised her chin, so she had to look at him. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head slightly. "Actually it's nothing, ..."

He still looked deeply into her eyes. "… but ..?"

Looking at the sky, she breathed deeply. "Hoss ..."

Adam raised his eyebrows. "Hoss?" 

With sad eyes she looked at him.

"We're talking about my brother? Who could never even harm a fly?"

"He didn't do anything, ... well, ... I mean, ..."

"Koko, talk to me."

She leaned her back against the railing of the terrace and crossed her arms. "I know he loves me and that he would do anything to ensure that I'm fine but ..."  
For a moment, she closed her eyes. "... since the incident with Curt in the woods, he doesn't let me out of sight for just a moment. Guess why he immediately agreed that Pelipa moved in with us? Not only because she doesn't feel at home in the village but because he knows there will always be someone around me."

Amazed, Adam thought. "But why does he do that? Curt isn't alive anymore."

Once again Koko took a deep breath and shrugged. "He says that since you haven't found the corpses of Curt and Mitch, you cannot be so sure if they aren't still alive. That's why he wants me to always tell him where I'm going. Then he tries to accompany me or he makes sure someone else is close to me."  
Koko's eyes looked at him quite done. "Adam, you know me. I've never let myself be intimidated by something or anyone but Hoss doesn't want to understand that. I don't need anyone who's always looking after me."  
She looked at the door. "I'm surprised that he's not already out here looking for me."

Adam took Koko's hand and then with a smile he took her in his arms. "He's just afraid for you. Since I know you, I'm no different. Just that I can handle it more quietly, because I know Hoss is with you." 

Slightly she hit his chest with her fist. "I know that. Because of that, my fear was always so big, that you could get involved in a duel with Mitch. Adam, I love Hoss and I can understand him but he should also understand that it's very hard for me to always feel him watching me. As if Curt and Mitch might appear behind the house all of a sudden."

"Shall I talk to him?"

She gave him no answer but leaned her head against his chest. He held her closer and rested his chin on her hair. "I will speak with him tomorrow after lunch."

"Thank you, Wynono."

He had the impression that she still needed his closeness and so he held her firmly in his arms.

XXX

With big eyes Hoss stood at the door and looked at Koko and Adam. He was about to pounce on his brother when he was being held by his arm.

"Hoss, ..."  
His face was deep red when he looked at Bridget. "... you can trust them. I'm sure they'll talk to you and tell you what's going on and Hoss ... "  
Her eyes looked at him kindly. "... what those two do, we can do better ..."  
She hooked up at him and pulled him back into the house. "... Now you can finally show me that you are a much better dancer than Adam."

Hoss's eyes grew even bigger. "Me?"

"Yes, you. That's what Koko claims."

With a brief look back at the door, Hoss let himself be dragged to the dance floor.

XX

Koko followed Pelipa's gaze from the kitchen window and tried not to grin too much. Not only the weather was very nice, so they could eat outside again, but Hoss also had calmed down after the talk with Adam. He had an eye on her every now and then but she could go back into the woods without the half tribe following her to take care of her. Her thoughts returned to Pelipa.  
"Shall I put the kettle on again?"

Obviously confused Pelipa looked at her. "Why should you do that?"

"Well, if you look out the window and you need an hour for each dish, the water is getting cold."

Pelipa first looked to the sink and then to Koko. "I ... well, .. it's just such nice weather outside."

For a moment Koko turned her head to the side, not to show how much she had to smile. "Yes, Spring is a wonderful time. The sun, the flowers, the horses ... Hoss and ... " She swallowed again." ... Jenkins."

Koko hadn't even said the name fully as Pelipa dropped the cup she had in her hand back into the sink. "Everything's all right, Pelipa?"

Now Koko couldn't hold back the grin when she saw how intimidated her friend looked out the window and then back to the sink. "Yes, of course. The cup just slipped out of my hands."

"Sure, ... I can also go on alone and you can go out and ... watch the sun. "

"I don't know what's so funny that you have to grin like that."

Pretty miffed, Pelipa took the next plate in her hand and began to clean it. Gently Koko put her hand on her arm. "Pelipa, what's so bad about it? We know now why he has worked for the authorities. He wanted to help and he did. As it seems, he tries, like Wynono, to act in the sense of the Indians and as Travis told me, he was here for dinner, when we were out dancing."

"He only wanted to talk to Hoss about the horses. For me, it's just manners that a guest is also invited to dinner."

All the time Pelipa had intently looked at the dishes. "Pelipa, are you afraid of being with a man again? For your eyes say something different about Jenkins than your words and that was also to be seen at the barbecue."

At first, she cleaned the plate in her hand with a lot of enthusiasm but then she stopped in the movement and looked at Jenkins and then Koko again. "Yes, I'm a little afraid of my feelings. I haven't forgotten the years with Motega and I never want to experience that again. But that's not all."

She looked out of the window at Hoss and Jenkins, who were standing by the horses, talking. "On the one hand, I don't know what he thinks about me because, like me, he's very cautious in our talks and doesn't show what thoughts are in his mind. On the other hand, as you have seen here but also the day when the barn was built, you see how he behaves towards children. He, too, has that special patience with them like Wynono."

Koko squeezed her arm as Pelipa didn't want to speak on. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Koko, why did Motega finally go after all these years? Because I hadn't given him a child until that day and Jenkins surely wants more children when he takes a wife."

Koko looked out at the two men. "Pelipa, I don't know Jenkins so well. We talked only a few times but he had already smoked the sacred pipe three times with my father. You know Amarok and that it's something special for him. Not every outsider is invited by him. He must trust Jenkins very much and see in him something that he saw in Wynono when he was on the farm for the first time. That's why I can imagine very well that this would be no reason for him not to take your feelings seriously. That you're not indifferent to him, I can see very clearly."

Pelipa took the next plate with momentum. "This is all silly. I'm going to fool myself because of springtime and besides, after what he has experienced, he would certainly not take an Indian as his wife."

Her head slightly tilted, Koko had to smile again. "I wouldn't be so sure, because even if you didn't talk a lot at the barbecue, his eyes sometimes speak a different language."

Pelipa tried not to look out of the window again. "We'll see. I certainly won't take any step towards him."

Eyes rolling, Koko took the plate out of Pelipa's hand to dry it. At the same time, she murmured quietly, that this time it mustn't last another seven years till two hearts found each other.

XXX

Ben looked desperately at Adam and Dianne's father. He tried to find the right words. "Mr Lampert, it would be only for two years. And if I promise you that you can go once we have found a substitute teacher, would you then reconsider your decision?"

"No, Mr Cartwright. This won't change. I have already mentioned in my letter that I'm only looking for two years of work. Then I will travel with my wife to Europe to get to know this continent better. It should be a quiet two years for me which I would certainly not have here with you. "

"But, Mr Lam..."

Mr Lampert raised his hand. "No, Mr Cartwright. My decision is firm, even if I'm very sorry. I once experienced what it means to have Indians in the class. And just at the moment where there are many attacks on the settlers again, I don't want to teach such a class. I had more to do with the angry parents than with the children and I received a black eye more than once. I'm really too old for that."

Ben didn't need to look to know how Dianne's father glanced at him. Several times he had had to listen to him that they would have a teacher long ago, if Aiyana weren't in class. So he hit the table with both hands and stood up. "Then we have to accept your decision. Even if it is hard for me. I will accompany you to your coach."

The others pushed back their chairs and stood up. Mr Lampert shook the hand of Dianne's father, who then left the classroom with a withering look at Adam and Ben. Mr Lampert packed his things and the three men made their way to the coach. "Mr Cartwright, I don't want you to misunderstand me. I think it's very good what happens here in Virginia City. That you try to integrate the Indians and not exclude them from teaching. But a few years ago my life almost ended at a tree behind the school house, because I thought that Indians and the children of the slaves should go to school. I don't want to experience that again."

Not only Adam had to take a deep breath at these words. "I can understand that, Mr Lampert and to speak with the words of my son ..." Ben looked briefly at Adam. "... we will also get this problem solved because there are no problems that can't be eliminated."

With a smile Lampert and Ben shook hands but then stopped. With a completely astonished look, he looked at Ben. "Mr Cartwright, as I understand, you are looking for a teacher who has no problems with other cultures and who can also stand his ground against parents with a different opinion."

"Yes, and it's not always easy to find the right one."

Ben looked at Adam, who only rolled his eyes.  
"Then I wonder why you're still looking for somebody? You have someone here who could do this job."

Ben laughed. "Mr Lampert, if we had anyone, you wouldn't be standing here."

"Well, I can think of no better man for this job. Yes, he isn't always easy and sometimes he goes spare but never with the children. He has had his problems with the parents and the residents of the towns." 

Ben and Adam looked at each other questioningly. "Unfortunately, we don't know of whom you're talking, Mr Lampert."

Shortly Lampert laughed, then pointed to the other side of the street. "Well, about him."

Adam and his father both raised their eyebrows in amazement. "He's a teacher?"

Now Lampert looked at the two men a bit surprised. "Yes, didn't you know? And a very good one indeed but as I said, also quite bullheaded. He was my student at that time and we have met again and again. If I had children who would have to go to school, I'd send them to him without hesitating."

"ALL ABOARD!"

Mr Lampert looked at the driver and nodded to him. Then he took his bag, giving Ben and then Adam his hand. "Talk to him. You can't get a better teacher for Virginia City." 

Still speechless, Adam and Ben watched as Mr Lampert got into the coach and left town. Then Ben turned to his son, who immediately raised his hand. "I'm going to clarify that."

With quick steps but very thoughtful Adam went to the other side of the street.


	90. Chapter 90

On the way to Jenkins, Adam wondered why he hadn't told them that he was a teacher. He knew very well that they were looking for one.  
Jenkins was just loading the wagon with crates that he was to pick up for the Ponderosa when Adam came to him. "Hello, Jenks."

Sally's father pushed a box into place and turned his head slightly to Adam. "Hello."

With arms crossed, Adam leaned against the wagon. "Shouldn't Little Joe help you with the chores anyway?"

A slight smile crossed the face of Jenkins as he loaded the next box. "He told me he had something to do at your house that couldn't wait."

Adam didn't need to look at his watch to know what his brother was doing. It was close to school's end and surely he would meet Dianne by sheer accident. Once again, Adam wondered why Joe didn't just go out with Dianne, if he liked her so much. Nobody would mind. He could very well understand that Mr Doohan wasn't thrilled about Joe constantly going out with other girls alongside Dianne. He pushed his thoughts aside, concentrating again on the real subject he was going to discuss with Jenkins. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Jenkins had his hands on the crate and wanted to push it straight at the loading area beneath the others as he stopped in the movement. Then he looked at the point where a few minutes ago the coach had been waiting. "So he had seen me?"

Adam also looked at the other side of the road. "You avoided him deliberately? I got the impression that you understood each other well."

A little too strongly, Sally's father pushed the crate to the right place. "Yes, I would even call him a friend."

Because it looked like Jenkins didn't want to come out with it, Adam sat down on the platform to ask him directly. "Why don't you teach? You know how hard it is to find a teacher who also meets our expectations."

For several minutes Jenkins only looked at the floor of the wagon. Then he turned and sat down beside Adam. "There are several reasons. The main reason is that I don't know if I will still be here after Summer."

Shocked and with wide eyes, Adam looked at Jenkins. "I thought that you leaving was no longer an issue. Sally and you, you settled here so well."

Jenkins's eyes were fixed in the distance. "Yes, we have. Too well, in fact."

"Well, so where's the problem that you are thinking again to move on or ... flee?" 

Adam knew he had hit the nail on the head, as Jenkins continued to look down the street. "Adam, it's all so ... unreal. Can I really live with Sally here in peace? Can I get involved with others? Trust them ...?" He closed his eyes and spoke more quietly. ".. trust her?"

"There will always be people who're going to have a problem with the Gosiute living near us. That Indians will visit school and that they're part of our daily lives but that isn't what you are afraid of."

The head of Jenkins turned to Adam. "I'm not afraid!"

Adam raised both hands. "The wrong wolf can relax, Jenks. If there's no fear, so what is it then?"

Jenkins calmed down again and his eyes were directed down to the street. Then he put his hand on his heart. "I don't want to feel this pain here again when the mood changes and suddenly friends turn into enemies."

"Why don't you teach?"

Jenkins shook his head with his eyes closed. "You don't let up, do you Adam?"

"Nope."

Jenkins opened his eyes, his gaze directed into the distance. "Since I've been a teacher, I've always had trouble when my past came out. It was just before Sally came to school. Lampert and I shared a job in a smaller town. His wife had just survived a serious illness. I had to take care of Sally and so that was a perfect solution for us both to share the job. The people liked us and the kids got along well with both of us." Sally's father stopped briefly and ran his hand across his neck before he continued. "Sally had been in school for several months when Lampert and I realized that the children of the slaves and the Indians were hiding under the school window, listening to what we were doing there. I talked to Lampert and we decided to bring the children into class, although we knew that there would be trouble. But since Lampert was planning to move on anyway and I wanted to take over the job completely, I said I could stand my ground against the citizens of the town." Again he shook his head and looked at his hands. "But people were upset much faster than we thought and not just a handful but the entire town suddenly realized what monsters we both were. It was shortly after school's end. Lampert and I were discussing how we should organize the next lesson when the mob was already standing in the classroom. I couldn't react as quickly as they had grabbed us and pulled us behind the school house. Lampert already had the noose around his neck when I managed to get rid of one of the men. In the wrangling, my shirt suffered damage and everyone could see the tattoo on my back." Jenkins looked at Adam. "I've seen a lot but I've never seen such a hate in people's eyes when they got to know I'm not just a friend of the Indians but also their blood is running through my veins. The ringleader grabbed me by the neck and pulled me to Lampert and yelled at me to look closely at how he would gasp for air soon. Because they didn't want to just hang him - no, they wanted him to suffer slowly and look into my eyes, show that I was to blame for this whole incident. Because it was only me who had brought him to think these strange ideas." Adam didn't ask when Jenkins made another short break and straightened his head. "I had such anger in me that I managed to get in some strong blows at the guy. The others were just standing around and watching. Somehow I got his gun, ... how it happened exactly, I don't know ... anyway a shot fired and the man slumped to the ground, mortally wounded. The crowd was shocked and I took advantage of it. I aimed at them and threatened to shoot anyone who would only make a move. I took Lampert's noose off and we ran to our houses. We knew that we wouldn't have much time until the mob had caught up again and would chase us. So we grabbed only the bare necessities and fled with Lampert's wife and Sally out of town." He ran his hand across his eyes. "We rode very long until we were sure we'd come far enough and then went looking for the next town. There we went to the Sheriff and told him what had happened. After a few weeks, the judge ruled that no charges were brought against us. But we'd better not see the South again." Jenkins shrugged. "It didn't matter to me. Since I had no real home, it didn't bother me to move on to the West. The ways of Lampert and me parted there. I got a new job six months later in another town but it didn't even take four months and it became known who I am, what I am and what had happened. The school council there told me in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't get a job anywhere else. Adam, you know how fast some things spread. Twice I've tried it but ..." Adam heard Jenkins take a deep breath. "... I've accepted various jobs here and there. What was needed at the moment. But I never stayed longer than three to five months. I didn't want to have trouble and I have avoided making friends with people."

Silently the two men watched the goings-on in the street. "But why don't you trust us? You see that it's different here. Even if it's not commonplace yet, you can see from my family that it works. We can live together." Now Adam looked at Jenkins seriously. "Because we trust each other. Because we had the courage to trust."

Jenkins jumped down from the wagon, took the next crate, put it on the ground and paused again. "I trust you, Adam and your family but ... there is something else I cannot really deal with and I also think of Sally."

Adam was still sitting on the wagon. "What is it?"

By looking at Jenkins it could clearly be seen that he didn't know if he should talk about it or not. "Spring, Adam, did leave its mark on me but I don't know if I should get involved. The last time I allowed these feelings, I stood there with Sally." Again he closed his eyes and clenched his fist. "That's why it's better to go before it gets too complicated."

"Does she know about you?" Jenkins just nodded but didn't look at Adam. "And? Where's the problem?" Adam grinned. "... Or did she experience Spring differently?"

Sally's father didn't grin, his gaze was still serious. He took the last crate with great force, stowed it, tied it all up and went forward. He stopped briefly at Adam. "Yes, it's nice here. I feel fine but I don't want this to lead to more trouble for me or Sally. That's why it's better that we move on. If I stay, I may start something that Sally will suffer from and certainly the tolerance of the nice citizens of Virginia City wouldn't go that far."

He went on and jumped on the wagon seat. Adam jumped from the deck. "Jenks, ..."

Once again Adam didn't come any further. Jenkins left town pretty fast. Adam looked after him, then held his hand before his eyes. "Didn't work out as you thought?"

Adam turned his head to his father. "I don't give up. He would be the right one. He only has to finally understand that he shouldn't run away. No matter what he has experienced."

"Let's go home. On the way, you can tell me where the problem is."

"To cut a long story short, he's just afraid."

XXX

"He's giving you a hard fight, Adam, ..." Adam wiped the sand and dust off. For the second time, the horse had thrown him very roughly. ".. you have to talk to him. You must become one with him."

"You have a pretty big mouth, Jenks. Haven't you already seen the dust on the ground today?"

Adam was standing in front of the fence on which Jenkins was sitting and they both grinned. "I can't be better than the boss."

Smiling, Adam took off the chaps. "Then go and become one with the horse."

"What? You're going to give up?"

With one leap, Adam jumped over the fence. "Nope, but as a boss, I have to punish you if you're so naughty."

"Then take a good look how to do that, ... Boss ..!"

Jenkins went to Tico to tell him that he was going to take over. While he was still preparing, Adam hesitated when he saw Koko riding to the ranch. Like always, a cold shudder ran through him when she came over unexpectedly. Immediately, he pushed all his emotions into the background and held the reins of her horse as she stood before him. Laughing, Koko dismounted. "Adam, you can relax. Everything's all right. I just wanted to talk to you."

Adam tilted his head and followed her to the fence. They both leaned against it as they watched Jenkins as he sat on the horse. "Are you satisfied with him?"

"I would be if he weren't working here but in town." Koko looked at him questioningly. "He's a teacher but once again he wonders whether it wouldn't be better to move on. Now he has been here for two months and still doesn't trust us."

The gate opened and the horse dashed off. "Teacher?" Amazed, Koko looked at him. "This guy is always good for a surprise." She looked to the side and at Adam. "Adam, I think he's just scared. You could see in almost no time that Sally and he are both happy that they have found a home and friends. And now he becomes aware of how far he has opened himself without thinking about it. He just doesn't want to experience another disappointment."

"But running away is no solution."

Koko nudged him into the side. "Wynono, you run away seven years from your feelings and now you expect him to trust us all after a few weeks?"

His eyes still directed on Jenkins, Adam pulled a small pout. "You cannot compare that."

"Yes."

He glanced at her and both had to grin. "It would just fit so well. We still haven't found a teacher and Bridget can't go on after the holidays. She comes to bed late every night, because she cannot prepare for the next day until the children are all asleep. It's no problem for her to step in now and then but she cannot take the job permanently."

"Give him time. He'll do it. Because I can't imagine that he leaves again. He loves Sally much too much and she will certainly not pack her bags. Especially not after she knows what her family history is. You'd have to see her when she's in the village, as she soaks in everything and then proudly goes home. She has found her place here and with the little tribe and he will find it, too."

Recognizing, Adam nodded as Jenkins brought the horse to a halt. "I would be happy for him but then I'd lose a good cowboy." Adam turned and leaned back against the fence. "Now to the important. What takes you to me? Surely you don't want to go out with me on Saturday."

She tilted her head slightly, looking at him thoroughly. "No, I've found a better man. He doesn't look so often after the other girls."

Adam just put his hand on his chest and looked at her amused. "I'd never do such a thing."

"Then I wonder where Little Joe got it."

Adam's gaze turned into a slightly shocked expression. "You don't just compare me to my little brother?"

Koko puffed her cheeks up slightly. "Well, I'd say, in some matters you're both similar. ..." She raised one hand at once and began to grin as Adam placed himself in front of her indignantly. "... While we're talking about Little Joe, ... I wanted to ask if I could borrow him for two weeks."

"Little Joe?"

For a moment Koko put her hand over her mouth, not to laugh. As often as Adam's expression had changed in the last few minutes, she'd never seen with her friend. "Next week Hoss will be out on business to look at some horses we might use for breeding and I might need some help at the farm."

Like with Hoss, she began to knead her fingers and looked at him from below with big eyes.  
"But you know we're going to prepare the trail?" Without changing the look, she nodded slightly. Adam took a deep breath and scratched his forehead. He tilted his head and looked at her. "You're sure you want Little Joe? I'm happy if I roughly know where he hangs out during the day and completes at least half the chores required."

Very cautiously, Koko started grinning and looked in the direction of Jenkins. "Well, I'd also take someone else, ..."

Adam's eyes followed her gaze, frowning. "Why do I suspect you wanted that before?"

She pressed her lips together and looked at him innocently. "You want to have a new teacher. Maybe I can help you to achieve that he doesn't think of leaving."

Adam crossed his arms, and looked at Koko. She kept trying to look at him as innocently as possible. Then Adam dropped his arms and handed her the reins of her horse. "I don't want to know anything about what you're up to. That'll be certainly better for me. But ..." He raised a finger. "... if he doesn't become our teacher after the holidays, then ..."

Before he could continue, she took the reins out of his hand, gave him a kiss on the cheek and mounted her horse. "Thank you, Wynono. Please send him to me on Monday."

She waved her goodbye and left the ranch quite quickly.

XX

"Hi, Adam." Ben closed the door and went to his desk where his son was sitting doing the books. "I brought you the mail from town."

He handed Adam a stack of letters. He raised the eyebrows with a deep breath, threw the mail on the table and leaned back. "It's not getting less, is it, son?"

With two fingers Adam rubbed his eyes. "It's just like last year. I should actually be in ten places at the same time. I can rely on Tico but it's always good to keep an eye on everything and ..." He shrugged. "... Joe's got an eye on a lot but not on the job." 

Ben sat down in the other chair, glancing at the papers that were lying on the table. Surprised, he took a contract in hand. "You want to buy more land?"

The fingers laid against each other, Adam kept a straight face. "Yes."

"Why do you want to do that?"

"I want to expand the timber business."

Adam's father skimmed the contract and then looked back at his son. "Don't we have enough to do with the cattle? What else do you want to do at the same time? Timber, silvermines, the cattle and then your project with Frederic." Ben dropped the papers on the table. "Adam, how are you going to manage all that?"

Adam took his hands down and leaned forward. "Pa, I don't see the future in cattle."

Just by the way Ben grasped his fingers tightly around the back of the chair, Adam could see the mood of his father changing from one second to the next. But when he talked with Adam, he tried to do so in normal tone. "What should change? And why do you have to change everything? Everything has been going well so far."

"But we must develop and have to keep up with the times. You can't do everything like you did ten or twenty years ago. The towns here are growing in the West. The railroad will come, no matter what the political situation is between North and South. This progress cannot be stopped."

"But what has that to do with us and the cattle?"

Adam leaned back again. "At some point, the time of the long cattle drives will be over. Then we will bring the cattle only to a railway station that is the closest to us. The price for cattle will drop then. At that time I'd like to have less livestock but the best you can get here in Nevada and around. We no longer look for the cattle dealers but they come to us and want to do business. Then WE fix the price. This is exactly what I want to do with the timber as well. I want them saying, 'Buy Ponderosa timber. The best you currently get on the market'. The silvermines are only a security for me, if something isn't running as planned. But I don't go by that."

Quite dumbfounded, Ben looked at his son. Then he shook his head very slowly. "Adam, you can't necessarily assume everything's going to go as you planned. What if something happens to you? What do you think, who ..." He pointed with his hand on all the documents on the table. "... then should take over here? You're not talking about it. If I hadn't asked, you'd have planned everything back in your head. I mean, you don't think seriously about Little Joe doing it all the way you're coming up with?"

Adam closed his eyes. "No. He won't. Definitely not in near future and how the future looks for him, I honestly don't know."

Ben leaned on the edge of the table. "You don't count on Bernardo, Chesmu or even on George?"

Adam opened his eyes and looked at his father quite confidently. "Certainly not. But there is someone in the family who thinks just like me. Winona can certainly take over the business later and when she will be married to Riccardo, I won't need to worry about the work on the ranch not being done in our favor."

His mouth and eyes opened wide, Ben looked at him. He had to swallow several times and clear his throat before he recovered his voice. But it wasn't very strong. "Please, tell me you're kidding. Sarah is seven and Riccardo is nine years old. How can you expect them to marry, let alone take over the ranch?"

"Because I say so. The only thing I'm thinking about is that Riccardo's going to fix the matters with his fists, if he doesn't get along with a business partner and if Winona has problems, she will solve them with some herbs but otherwise ... "

Ben almost only whispered. "Adam, ..."

Adam's corner of his mouth went up and in his eyes an amused glint could be seen. "Of course it was a joke, Pa. I've got no idea who will take over this later. All I'm doing now is trying to put on record everything as closely as possible. I just hope that the road of my life is still very long until someone will be there who wants to carry on this mountain of work voluntarily."

Now Ben leaned back and exhaled relieved. "Sometimes I wonder if you really are my son. With your way you'd even manage to sell me my own ranch." He leaned forward slightly. "Adam, I don't find it funny when you do something like that." With a slight smile and a shrug, Adam looked at his father. "Adam, I just think you create too many construction sites. How do you still keep track of that?"

"It only looks a lot but over time you will see, by changing some things, the work won't get more. Just different. What I said. We will travel no longer through the land to conclude contracts, people will come to us." As Adam saw how doubtfully his father looked at him, he stood up and leaned on the table opposite to him. "Just trust me, Pa. You know I don't do anything I haven't figured out before. Sure, I will make one or two mistakes. But that I also have taken into account. But if we want to develop we must keep up with the times. The land around us is changing and we must change as well. If we do this in time, we determine the way. Do it too late, then we need to adjust and that's something I don't want to. What I always told you. Anyone who wants to do business with the Ponderosa has to make it on our conditions. And that's only possible if we determine the pace and conditions."

With his hand over his mouth, Ben kept looking back from his son to the papers on the table. Finally, he got stuck at Adam's eyes. "I just wonder how you want to do that all by yourself." 

"I'm not alone. I've got you and I don't give up hope that one of these days my kid brother will be more interested in working at the ranch than in the female population of Virginia City."

Now Ben had to smile. "That could take a few more years and you say yourself the towns are growing." Then Ben's eyes became serious again. "How can I help you? I'm sure you've already changed so much that I only get half of it."

Adam got up and looked for a letter among his documents. "When we're on the trail, two bulls will be delivered to us. I would ask you to receive them and check them again. The money is already deposited in the casket. These are two very good animals with which we can improve the breed. They aren't cheap but if they are healthy, then we will have doubled the money in a short time."

Ben read the letter and then whistled softly. "For this price, I will have a very close look."

"Do it. I saw them in March and they were healthy and strong. So, if you have the slightest doubt, don't finish the deal."

Adam's father put the letter back on the table. "Do you have anything else I can do for you?"

With a wide grin, Adam sat back in his chair. "Clement is back on the road during Summer?" 

"Yes, he is. So Cholette will often be here with us and then my wife won't have much time for me."

"Life is not all guns and roses, Pa."

Smiling, both looked at each other. Adam would never have thought his father would manage to keep out of the Ponderosa business. Their relationship had been so relaxed since the amendment of the contract, as he had rarely experienced it all the years before. "I've given Riccardo a slightly larger list with the chores he's supposed to do until we get back. Maybe you'll keep an eye on him and can give him some advice. Take him with you when you look at the bulls. So he learns what to look for when buying good cattle."

"I like to do that but don't forget he's still a boy. I've got the impression that you want him to grow up pretty quickly. He's going to be ten this year."

"And? I've broken in my first horse then."

Ben laughed loudly. "Don't remind me of that. My heart still skips a beat thinking of it. I was about to fire George."

"Don't you worry. He'll have plenty of time to be up to some nonsense with the little tribe." 

"Well, they could do it at Frederic's for a change. What about our search for a teacher?"

With his face deadpan Adam looked at him. "Koko will take care of."

"Koko?"

As Adam's expression didn't change, Ben rose from his chair and raised his hands. "I better shouldn't ask?" Adam nodded and Ben just shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't have been better to continue to go to sea."

With one last glance at his smirking son Ben left the house.

XXX

Jenkins knelt down as Travis held out the dog. "Is that one of Rusty's puppies?"

"Spot!"

Sally's father stroked the dog's head. "You have picked a very special one. And it's softer than a fish."

Travis laughed. "And Pa cannot eat it."

Laughing, Jenkins stood up. "I'd rather take the fish as the dog for lunch." Then he turned to the paddock. "How does it look like, Travis? Would you like to help me? I'm still looking for a horse for myself but I really can't decide."

Eagerly, Hoss' son nodded and ran to the fence. He pointed his finger at a horse that wasn't older than a year. "That's very kind."

Jenkins also leaned against the fence. "Yes, this is a beautiful animal but still too young for me to use for work. I might have to wait another two or three years." He turned his head toward the boy. "Or should I maybe wait that long?"

"That wouldn't do any good." Jenkins held onto the fence with both hands. Then he pushed off and turned to Pelipa. "Riccardo will get this horse for his next birthday. It's the first foal from a stallion Riccardo discovered for the farm."

"It looks like the boy has an eye for horses. I couldn't use it for my purpose anyway."

With the puppy under his arm Travis looked back and forth between the two adults, who looked at each other in silence. Finally he took Pelipa's hand and looked at her with his dark eyes. "Spot is hungry."

Smiling, Pelipa stroked Travis over the head. "Spot has just been eating but you must be hungry. Food is almost done. I just wanted to get you." 

Travis' face lit up and with his hand he stroked his belly. His tongue ran over his lips. Jenkins looked past Pelipa as he saw Sally riding to the farm. Astonished, he tilted his head and went to meet his daughter. Pelipa followed him with Travis by the hand. "You can let Spot down now and then wash your hands. For as they look, you've already dug for bugs and worms."

Travis dropped the dog and looked at his hands. Then he wiped them on his pants and showed them again to Pelipa. "Clean?"

She shook her head and puffing loudly Travis made his way to the pump.  
With a grin all over her face, Sally embraced her father. "Am I in time for dinner?"

Slowly Jenkins spoke the next words. "Yes, you are. How did I deserve the honor of having you here with us for dinner and not with Winona or Aiyana?"

Cheerful, Sally ran to the table and greeted the others. "I got a test back today and I wanted to show you."

She pulled a sheet out of her pocket and passed it to her father.  
"Does it have to look like this?" Jenkins' eyes looked at her strictly as he unfolded the paper. He smiled again, however, when he returned the test to her. "Very good and if you won't always carry your stuff in your pocket, I'd be satisfied."

Sally leaned over the table and breathed in the smell of food. "That smells delicious, Koko. Is that an Indian meal?"

Koko scooped and then passed the bowl over. "Yes, it is. It's from the tribes of the southeast. Pelipa cooked it. When I cook, we have usually what Hoss is used to from Hop Sing. He always says he won't get full with the food from the village."

Puzzled, Sally looked at the food before her. "Well, for me it's enough." Then she laughed. "Hoss would probably like to eat a whole buffalo every day."

Like the others, Koko couldn't resist a grin. "But fortunately, he left the cooking to us. The buffaloes are also grateful

After a few bites Sally glanced at her father. "Dad, I got the laundry from the line before I came here."  
Her father didn't look at her but only nodded. She lowered her eyes to the bowl again and pushed the food back and forth with the fork. "When are you coming home today? I could already prepare supper."

He still didn't look at her. "I'll be home at the same time as yesterday and like the days before." 

She took the mug and drank a sip. She peered back at her father, who avoided looking at her. "Shall I clean the windows at the weekend?"

Koko and Pelipa looked at each other briefly, trying not to burst out laughing. It was obvious that Jenkins' daughter wanted to achieve something she knew he wouldn't be thrilled about. So Jenkins exhaled loudly and put the cutlery aside. Then he turned his head slightly to Sally, who smiled at him. "No, you won't get one."

Instantly the expression of Sally changed. "But Dad, you can't even know what it's all about!"

"Of course I know. Do you think Adam and I don't talk to each other? "

With a mixture of disappointment and anger, she leaned back. "You once said, if we have a home then I'll get a dog and Adam has only one left. Travis got one and Neisha. He would give me the last if you say yes."

Jenkins took the cutlery in his hand and turned his gaze from his daughter. "We don't have a home yet. We live in a small house at the Ponderosa and I have no idea how long I'm going to work there."

Sally looked shocked with gaping mouth. Since she knew her father too well, she knew that she should leave him alone for a few minutes before she returned to the subject. After a short time Jenkins put the cutlery back aside. "I'll go with Adam on the cattle drive. You can choose where you want to live in the meantime."

Now it was Sally, who wasn't looking at her father but poked in the food. "I think I'll live with Aiyana. She could tell me more about the life of the Indians and I will continue to learn the language of the Gosiute."

"Then I'll talk to Adam about it tomorrow. Do you already have plans for what you want to do in Summer?"

Sally squinted at Koko, who was sitting opposite her. "Actually, we wanted to build another canoe and then make a bigger trip with Aponi and some children from the village."

"That's a nice thing, why don't you sound so enthusiastic?"

Sighing, she looked at him. "Tyler mustn't join. His father almost got a fit when Tyler asked him and then he forbade him to bring Aiyana to his home but I as well shouldn't visit him any more. He even said that he was thinking about forbidding Tyler the contact with us all, because he's too often here in the village and on the Ponderosa in his father's opinion."

Immediately, Jenkins looked at Pelipa and could barely choke back the wrong wolf. "Dad, why does Tyler's father say that? I'm no different than I was before. Just that I know now where you grew up and that there was a real chieftain in my family."

Jenkins closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He didn't know how to explain it to Sally without too much rage in his words. Koko, who saw how he fought with his emotions, looked sympathetically at Sally. "Sally, Tyler's father is scared. Fear of the unknown. As long as I know him, he never talked to us or looked at the village. When I went to school with him, he spoke very little to me. On the contrary, he always asked Adam why he was friends with me."

"But if you are afraid of or don't understand something, you should ask and try to get to know it. You always say that, Dad. Why doesn't Tyler's father do so? Doesn't he see what fun we all have?"

"Are you doing this every time, Sally?"

Sally thoughtfully turned her head to Pelipa. "I guess so."

"What happened to the spider you saw here last week?"

Sally's eyes widened as she thought of that day. "It was big and disgusting."

"Yes, it was big but otherwise it looked like any other spider. What did the spider do to get chased off? That it couldn't sit in the corner any longer?"

"The way it looked, it was a poisonous spider."

"You know that?"

Sally thought again, shaking her head. "I've never seen such a spider before."

"And why didn't you look at it closer? Have tried to understand what it's doing right now? You've made a judgement about it without having been dealing with it."

Somehow desperately Sally looked at Koko and then to her father. "It was a spider, Pelipa."

"Yes, it was. But just as fast as you can tell for yourself that it had no right to stay where it was, Tyler's father judged just as quickly about you and the Indians. He hasn't taken the time to deal with something he doesn't know." 

Still grimacing, Sally nodded understandingly. "Next time, I'll look at it closely and try to understand how its life looks like, but Pelipa, I don't have to make friends with spiders to accept them, do I?"

Pelipa smiled at her. "No. The next time you see it and you've looked enough at it, we'll chase it off together. Because it can have its place everywhere but not near me."

Relieved Sally laughed at Pelipa who smiled as well. It didn't take long, though and Sally's eyes looked sad again. She glanced at her father, who still hadn't said a word. "Dad, ..." Her voice grew quieter. "... you said we don't have a home yet and you don't know how long you'll be working at the Ponderosa. Does that mean we're leaving again?"

The anger in Jenkins on the prejudices of Tyler's father hadn't subsided yet. As so often in the last few minutes, he looked at Pelipa. If Sally could already feel that she was being treated differently because she knew who her great-grandfather was, what would be if they stayed? Because if they were to find their home here, he would have to stick by his descent.  
"Dad ...?"

Without turning her eyes from Jenkins, Pelipa put her hand on Sally's arm, who looked at her father in surprise. "Sally, you won't leave. Your father has a good reason to stay here. Because like you, he wants to be happy."

Shaking his head, Jenkins shoved the chair away and stood up. Without another word, he left toward the creek. Since Sally didn't understand what was happening, she looked at Koko and Pelipa rather perplexed. Now Koko stood up. "I'll go after him."

"No." Pelipa took a deep breath. "I've got to do that."

Koko watched her friend following Jenkins. Then she sat down to Sally, who looked increasingly desperately after her father. "Don't you worry. I also assume that you won't leave. Pelipa will find the right words for your father."

"Koko, I don't understand him. Since we've been here we've had more fun than in a long time. Although he still thinks a lot, he also laughs a lot. Only in the last few weeks he has become more quiet again but I thought he was scared because he didn't know what to do with me when he's going to join the cattle drive. I never thought he was going to move on again." Tears gathered in her eyes. "I don't want to leave, Koko. I finally found real friends."

Koko took the hands of Sally and smiled encouragingly. "Sally, your father doesn't want to leave but he's afraid for you."

"For me?"

"Because it isn't easy to have Indian blood running through your veins. You saw that with Tyler's father. Until recently, you were allowed to visit your friend and now?"

"But that's only Tyler's father. The others treat me the same way as before."

Koko squeezed Sally's hands. "But if you stay, it could be that even more would change in your life. ... It could be that you won't just get a dog but also ... a mother."

Carefully Sally withdrew her hands and placed them on her lap. "A mother?"

"Yes, that could happen." 

Sally looked at Nick and Travis, thinking of the meal times at Winona and Aiyana. How nice it was to sit with a large family at a table. How much they talked and laughed. Then she looked back at Koko. "But why then is he afraid for me? If it's an evil mother, then he doesn't need to marry her!"

Koko looked down the path that led to the creek and wondered if she should have this conversation with Sally or not. They didn't know how the relationship between Pelipa and Jenkins would develop. What if she started something that wasn't really necessary? Then, however, she thought about the last few days, how they had looked at each other again and again and how they had talked to each other. Sally, who had been watching Koko all the time, was now looking down the little path. "Pelipa? ... Pelipa could be my mother?"

"That's why your father is afraid for you. He doesn't want you to be unhappy just because others don't accept us. Sally, all the years you moved from one place to another, because your father has always had problems because not only the blood of the White man runs in his veins. So he knows exactly what it would mean for you to have a mother of Indian descent."

Sally leaned back and crossed her arms. Her eyes wandered back to Travis and Nick. With a strong self-conscious glance she looked at Koko. "You married a White man, too. Aiyana and Chesmu live in the house of Whites, why should it be different with me? For me it's only important that she's nice but ..." She spoke a little lower now and took her arms down. The self-confident look disappeared and turned into an anxious one. "... I've never had a mother. What if she doesn't like me?"

Sally didn't pull her hands away when Koko reached for them again. "Have you ever had the impression that Pelipa doesn't like you?"

"She was always kind to me ..." She began to laugh. "... and she doesn't like spiders, like me."

XX

Jenkins looked at the water with his hands clenched into fists. He was annoyed that he couldn't control his rage. He had been so glad to have finally found a place where he didn't have to justify who he was. That he also had the opportunity to participate in village life. The evenings he had spent with Amarok by the fire had brought back that peace in him which he had believed to have lost long since. Everything would be so perfect, if it weren't for Pelipa. For a long time he had tried to repress the feelings he had for her but the last few weeks on the farm made it more and more difficult for him. If Sally hadn't been, he would have been able to muster the courage to take this step. But he couldn't do that to her. Not after he had experienced what it meant to have an Indian as a father. 

"Today is a good day to talk about." He clenched his fists even more, closing his eyes. "Because we have to talk."

He didn't turn to her. "Do we have to? We could just as well ignore it."

"You always say you're not afraid of anything. But if we don't talk, it's just because you're afraid. ... Hok'ee, I too am afraid but I won't cut and run."

He turned to her furiously. "I'm not afraid of my feelings. I'm also not afraid to have an Indian as my wife. ..." He was now standing close to her but his rage was no less. "... I'm afraid of guilt. I'm afraid of Sally's eyes. They seem to look at me, because some madman means to hurt her, just because her mother is an Indian. I don't want to look into the dead eyes of my child."

"Sally doesn't have that fear. For her it was unimportant from the very start who her friends are. Even now, since she knows what blood is running in her veins, she's not afraid. Like you, she can live and grow with it. She also carries this strength within her, as you have it. Don't make the same mistake as your father. Don't let your life be determined by others. For then fear will always be your companion and more and more it will take over your actions day by day."

He opened and closed his fists. Then he turned back to the creek. As cautious as she came next to him, he took her hand. For a long time they looked at the water. They still spoke no word when he looked at her. With a little smile, he leaned over to her and gave her the first tender kiss of many that were to follow in the near future.


	91. Chapter 91

With his hands laid on his belt and with a wide grin, Joe looked at Joan, Tessa and Carmen. Joe had just come out of the saloon with Adam and Jenkins, where he had toasted with them on his eighteenth birthday. While Adam was going to the bank and Jenkins wanted to get something for his daughter, Joe was supposed to pick up two saddles that were to be repaired. On the way, his former schoolmates came to meet him to congratulate him on his birthday. Each of them gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him briefly. Immediately, Joe had forgotten what his job actually was and he talked with the three girls about his plans for the next few days and whether he could manage to get to the dance on Saturday.  
"Little Joe, if you have time and come to town, you'll remember me and the fact that you promised that I'm going to accompany you next time."

Joe's grin grew even wider when he saw the look on Tessa's face. He understood immediately that she would also like him to escort her home. But then he saw the glances of the other two girls who wanted to go out with him as well on Saturday. Embarrassed, he scratched his neck and tried to keep smiling. How to explain that he had told them all the same? At that moment he saw Dianne approaching the group. He started to sweat even more. The last time she had told him very clearly that when he was dating the others again and not her, she would forgo his accompaniment in future. And as she looked at him, Joe clearly understood that she had meant it and was very serious.  
"Hello, Joseph."

Joe swallowed when he saw the glint in her eyes. Somehow he had to find the right words quickly. "Hello Dianne, ... I ... I was just on my way to you but ..." His mischievous grin returned. "... your father was standing at your door and talking to Mr Burton. I didn't want you to get into trouble."

Still a bit skeptical Dianne looked towards the other girls. Joe's words hadn't really convinced her yet. "But you always say you ain't afraid of my father."

Joe grabbed Dianne by the arm. "I ain't. I just want to prevent you having problems with your father because of me." He smiled at the other girls. "Excuse me, please. Dianne and I have something important to discuss."

Before the three could answer, Joe pulled Dianne by her arm away from them. At the next corner he paused and looked around. Then he went with her to the small backstreet. There he took her in his arms and kissed her. "You didn't really think I'd go on the trail without saying goodbye to you?"

She tilted her head and looked him in the eye. "Joe, sometimes I'm not sure if my father isn't right about you."

"But Dianne, ..." With his typical smile, he kissed her again. "... do you think I would kiss another girl like that?"

A little surprised Joe raised both eyebrows. Unlike usual, Dianne didn't smile at him. "But why do I have the impression that you like to meet with other girls? It's not the first time I've seen that."

"Well, ..." Uncertainly and nervously, Joe shifted his weight from one leg to the other. So far Dianne had always believed his words but since the last incident of this kind she had changed. She didn't fall for everything he told her. On the one hand, it might not matter to him, as there were enough other girls who would go out with him without thinking any further. On the other hand he didn't want to lose Dianne. They had known each other for so long and somehow it was important to him that she was his girlfriend. But as it looked, it was getting more complicated. As always when he knew he had screwed up, he scratched his neck. "Dianne ... I .. I like you but I've just become only eighteen and ..."

He watched her as she walked quickly to the main street. Actually, he had expected something else from her for his birthday. Several times he rubbed his cheek, which hurt even more than last time, when she had given him a slap in the face. Sighing, he remembered what he was supposed to do. So he went back to the main street.

XXX

Tom was standing in front of the telegraph office looking at the note in his hand. There were always things in his job that he didn't like and this was definitely one of them. Couldn't it have happened next week? Then he would have had enough time to ask questions in a different direction. But he had to act before the trail. He looked up into the sky and took a deep breath. Why couldn't people just accept it? Why did a man's life have to be investigated until something was found? Tom looked down the street again and winced. As it looked, everything plotted against this man. Did he have to be in town right now? Now he couldn't even think about what he might have to say to him. Because no doubt it would be watched that it was closely what he would do in this matter. He put the letter in his pocket and crossed the street.  
"Hello Simon."

Jenkins put a book in his saddle bag and then turned to Tom. "Hello, Tom." Jenkins couldn't resist a little smile when he saw the face of Adam's friend. "Well, the way you look, you're just thinking about changing your job. Do you want to join us on the trail?"

The Sheriff looked down at the ground. Because he knew how hard it had been for Jenkins to trust them all, it wasn't easy at all for him to represent the law at that moment. "Simon, ... I think it's very good that you decided to take the job as a teacher after Summer and you still join the trail ..." Instantly Jenkins' muscles tensed. As Tom spoke to him and looked at him, he knew something would come up that he knew all too well. His hands closed into a fist. "... that's why it's hard for me to talk to you about it now but I can't wait."

He wanted to touch Jenkins' arm but the latter immediately withdrew and took a step backwards. "I don't know what we should be talking about."

Tom, too, took a different attitude. He should have known that Simon wouldn't just accept that apparently charges against him were at hand. "Simon, let's both go to the office to talk about it in private."

"Surely not, Sheriff. I didn't do anything and therefore I won't go with you."

"Jenkins, you're gonna come with me. Either you make it easy for us both, or you'll get to know me from a completely different side. But whatever you decide, in the end, we will have a conversation in my office."

Staring at the Sheriff, Jenkins didn't move an inch. He had no intention of accompanying Tom. He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't been a teacher for a day and the next trouble was already at the gates. How would it be if he really married Pelipa after the trail? It was only known for two weeks that he would take the job and that he could imagine a future together with Pelipa. But this time he wasn't going to let everything get ruined. He could do without the job as a teacher but noone would take Pelipa away from him. He shook his head slowly and reached for the reins of his horse. "I'm going home now. You can give the morons who want to destroy my life again, my kind regards. They should talk personally to me."

The moment Tom reached for his gun, Jenkins jumped forward and hit him right in the face. Stumbling back, Tom tried to stay on his feet. That Simon wasn't a typical teacher, he knew but he hadn't expected that strength. He tried to grab Jenkins by the collar but before he had the hands right on his shirt, Sally's father slapped them away and punched several blows into Tom's belly. As the Sheriff had turned away from him in time, he didn't feel the whole force of the blows. But Tom could forget about taking a breath. He hadn't yet straightened properly because Jenkins had taken him by the neck and yanked him around to hit him in the face again. Tom didn't even get the chance to get angry about the fact that he had completely underestimated Simon. Somehow he managed to get his arms up to prevent that he had to take another punch in the face but he didn't get a break. Now Simon was punching on his belly again. If he didn't quickly regain control of the situation, this would turn out to be a bad day in his life as a Sheriff. He mobilized once again all his strength, pushed his shoulder forward and thus hit Jenkins on the chin. Since the reaction came very unexpectedly, Simon had the problem of stumbling backwards. Instantly Tom got some distance from Jenkins. "Jenkins, ...!"

Tom didn't get around to saying just one more word. He raised his hands to ward off Simon's next attack. Both fell to the ground. Still, Sally's father developed such an enormous force that Tom couldn't turn the tide in his favour. He jerked off a lot of blows when Jenkins was pulled up. His deputy had seized Jenkins and sent him with two strong blows to the ground. Looking at Jenkins, Steve gave his boss a hand and pulled him up. If they now both had thought that Jenkins would give up they were wrong. Tom wasn't yet back on his feet, when Jenkins had already stood up, glanced at him with a very evil look and then headed for his horse. From the corner of his eye he saw how the two lawmen went to get their guns. Again, with incredible speed, he was with the two and tried to knock them over with his body. In the end, Steve and Tom somehow managed to get Jenkins off the road and into a cell. It took several more blows until Tom's last punch into Simon's face sent him to dreamland.

XXX

The door of the Sheriff's office opened and Rusty ran to Tom. He had just washed his face in the washbowl. Adam closed the door behind him and looked around in amazement. "Hello Tom. I was told that Jenks is with you. Did he already leave again?"

Without turning to his friend, Tom grabbed a towel and dried his face. With a deep breath he then put it aside. "No, he's still here."

"Oh, and where did you hide him?" Adam held his breath as Tom turned to him. "Tom, what stagecoach did you get under?"

The Sheriff just nodded and went to the cell area. Adam hesitantly followed. Slowly he guessed what Tom wanted to show him. But when he saw Jenkins lying on the bunk, quite a rage came over him. "Tom, what the hell is this? Whatever happened, I don't think that's necessary."

Adam pointed to the cell. Jenkins wasn't only still unconscious but Tom had fixed his hands with handcuffs and then attached them to the grids. For Jenkins it wasn't possible to turn or get up. Tom went back to his office and Adam looked at Jenkins again, shaking his head, before he followed him.  
"May I get to know what happened? It must have been more that you both look like this and you treat him like that. I thought you were his friend."

"If I weren't his friend, he wouldn't be in the cell but at the undertaker."

"Tom, ..."

How shocked Adam was about this statement wasn't only to be heard by his voice. Even on his face it was clearly to be seen.  
Quite done Tom dropped into his chair. "Adam, I just wanted to talk to him, nothing more. Do you think I wanted that? But I think even Hoss would have had his hands full with him. Rarely I've seen anyone who was so hard to curb in his rage. Adam, not just Simon and I look like this. Steve went straight to the doctor. I guess at least two of his fingers are broken, if not his hand."

Still shocked, Adam was standing at Tom's desk. "Why ….?"

Eyes directed to Adam, Tom grabbed a drawer, took out two glasses and a bottle of whisky and placed them on the table. He pushed the filled glass toward his friend and downed his glass in one swig. Adam didn't touch the glass in front of him. He had already had two beers in the saloon with Joe and Jenkins. But Tom didn't care at all, leaning back in his chair. "Three days ago Marc came to my office and said I should take a closer look at our future teacher. Mr Doohan has learned that he shouldn't get a job anywhere. Not only because he's a troublemaker but because he allegedly shot a man in cold blood and wasn't prosecuted." Tom now leaned forward and looked at his friend seriously. "Buddy, you know what's going on, if I hadn't kept track. Especially Marc and Mr Doohan would spread that I would only shield a friend of the Cartwrights. Especially since he's an Indian."

Adam crossed his arms and his facial expression was emotionless as always, when he was annoyed at something. "That's downright nonsense and you know that very well. Besides, his grandfather was an Indian."

"Of course I do. But I also have to investigate these allegations and YOU definitely know that." He pointed to the cell area. "... If Simon had talked to me for only five minutes we could probably have cleared up the matter for good. Because I quickly realized that he stands by his faults. If he had really shot a man, he'd admit his responsibility. But that way, ...

Adam hit the table with his flat hand and turned away. He dropped his head and put his hand over his eyes. When he spoke to his friend, he had calmed down again. "You know him, Tom, and how fast he goes spare when he feels threatened. But if you find the right words ..."  
Tom raised his hand and stopped Adam. "Buddy, I didn't get that far. I wanted to talk to him in the office. He started already in the street."

Adam looked thoughtfully at the cells. "How long will you keep him here?"

"Until he talks to me and tells me the truth about this rumour."

Adam was still looking at the cells, thinking. Then he knitted his brows and looked at his friend. "Where and when is he said to have shot a man?"

After shifting some documents aside, the Sheriff pulled up the report he had made on the subject and passed it on to Adam. With clenched teeth Adam skimmed the lines. It was a flowing movement. He put the report back on the table, took the whisky glass, emptied it in one go, as Tom had done before and slammed it on the table. "The matter is already done ..." Adam took a pen and wrote down an address. "... If you get in contact with Mr Lampert, who introduced himself here as a teacher a few weeks ago, you will also know the name of the judge who decided on the case. And please do it immediately. We want to leave on Monday and I need him on the trail."

With a slight whistle, Adam signalled to his dog that they were to leave.  
"Buddy, I'm sorry. I'm just doing my job."

Before Adam opened the door, he stopped again. "I don't blame you. It just annoys me that noone wants to give him a chance."

"But he also needs to give us a chance, Adam. And what happened today wouldn't have been necessary that way."

With his hand at the door handle, Adam looked at Tom. "We have to give him time. The wrong wolf will be calmer. At the latest, when he's married to Pelipa and he has a family again. Thanks Tom, ..." Adam smiled again. "... and that you will take care of the marriage ceremony of the two, so that it's official."

The Sheriff leaned back and he too smiled again. "The only question is whether he still wants it ... I mean that I'll do that."

"Of course, he wants that. As fast as the wrong wolf comes to light, as quickly he disappears again. I assume that he will have calmed down again when he wakes up."

"I hope so for both of us."

Nodding, Adam closed the door behind him. In front of the office, he looked around. He was still mad and disappointed that Mr Doohan and Marc were trying to stir up public opinion against Jenks before he had even taught for one day. "Rusty, I think we should pay a visit to dear Marc and talk to him not only about Jenks." 

He got into the saddle and headed for the house of Tyler's father.

XXX

"Adam, what brings you here?"

Surprised, Marc had opened the door and let Adam in. "I thought we both should have a nice talk about a few things."

"Are there any problems with the construction in Carson City?"

Adam carefully took off his hat. He wanted to keep his emotions under control during the conversation, not only because of the children but because the cooperation with Marc's father was very good. He didn't want to jeopardize both, just because he might use a wrong choice of words. "No, everything's going according to plan. I'm here for another reason."

The features of Tyler's father hardened. "Have the children been up to some nonsense again?"

"No, they're very reasonable unlike some others."

"We both know that you didn't come for a little talk. So out with it, what's it all about?"

"If you have any questions, or any problems with one of our men from the Ponderosa, I would ask you to talk to me first and not to run to the Sheriff."

Marc's mouth twitched and he began to smile maliciously. "So that's it. That your friend of the Indians isn't the one he claimed to be."

Once again Adam realized that he was compressing his jaws too hard. But he still remained calm. "Marc, what is this? I know we've never been best friends and you've never understood why I'm friends with Koko. But gradually you should be used to it. Tell me just one event where there were problems with Koko and her family or the tribe of the Gosiute."

"Well, with them there were no problems but you can't deny that there's usually always trouble with the Indians. You yourself have felt how they can be. You can't talk of humanity in this regard." 

Adam tried to concentrate on his heartbeat so as to maintain his inner peace. "Unlike you, I don't condemn all Indians right away. With Jenkins, you can't really claim that you immediately recognize where he grew up."

Laughing, Marc turned away and leaned against a dresser. With his arms crossed in front of his body, he looked at Adam disparagingly. "Do you think we just take it that such a man becomes our teacher? Especially since we all know that he is with that Squaw and thinks about marrying her? Such a person is certainly not going to teach our children. And if it's true that he shot someone, he'll go to the gallows anyway."

Later, Adam wondered how he'd made it so long to keep quiet until he couldn't hold back the wrong wolf that day. He didn't move when he spoke to Marc. "And what's your explanation that Tyler is no longer allowed to play with his friends? And I'm not even talking about my daughter and Sally not being allowed to visit your house anymore."

Marc took a step toward Adam. "I want my boy to become a decent man. That your children have a bad influence on him, you have seen in your barn. Surely I won't watch this riffraff coming into my house. I would like to keep my property."

Marc's eyes were twice as big as Adam grabbed him with his left hand and punched him with his right. Tyler's father, however, caught himself pretty fast and stopped Adam's next fist. Both men were in a wild fight, when Marc's wife stood screaming in the doorway. Tyler's grandfather needed a few seconds to realize what was happening in the entrance of his house. His loud voice thundered through the room. Marc, who was just about to take a swing, stopped the movement and looked at his father. Adam, who had trouble breathing again after a blow to his belly, straightened his back and took a few deep breaths. "Can you two please explain to me what's going on here?"

Marc looked down and Adam looked at the ceiling. The voice of Mr Burton got louder again. "Marc?"

"We have different opinions about who should take over the job as a teacher."

In disbelief Mr Burton looked back and forth between the men. "And that's why you fight like children? Adam, I expected something different from you."

Adam picked up his hat and looked at Tyler's grandfather. "I apologize for my inappropriate behavior."

"Adam, that wasn't about the matter of the teacher. You're not a man who's fighting about that, especially since Marc isn't even a member of the school board." 

The look Marc and Adam exchanged showed that they wouldn't be having a beer together in the saloon in the near future. Adam scratched his forehead and avoided looking at Marc's father. "We also have different views about who should be the friends of Tyler."

Again, Mr Burton needed some time before he understood what Adam meant. Then he looked at his son. "Marc, what does Adam mean? It's not that you still have a problem with Tyler meeting with his children?"

Marc's head went up. "These aren't his children. He has only taken the brats out of pity."

As fast as Adam's head had rushed up, Mr Burton quickly stood between the two men before Adam could do something rash. "Marc, what's this? I thought we already had a talk about Tyler's birthday. You're going to immediately apologize to Adam."

"But …."

Furiously, Mr Burton looked at his son. "No buts …!"

Adam put on his hat and made his way to the front door. "Mr Burton, Marc doesn't need to apologize, if he doesn't mean it that way. But I would be happy if Tyler was to spend the Summer with his friends and that means he would join the trip with Aponi."

Mr Burton was no longer watching his son when he answered Adam. "Of course, my grandson will be allowed to spend the Summer with his friends, Adam."

Adam nodded to Mr Burton and left the house. On the way to Sport, he was already wondering what he should tell Bridget. For without looking into the mirror, he knew that this little brawl had left its marks.

XXX

Had he really believed she would accept it so easily? He didn't raise his head as he heard her entering the office. "Is everything alright with you? Not just that you were very quiet when you came home. Now Aiyana tells me that you don't want to have coffee with us."

He still didn't look at his wife. "I'm just busy."

Bridget went to his desk and looked at him in surprise. "Why can't I believe that? You just wanted us to spend as much time together as possible in the next few days, before the cattle drive starts on Monday."  
It was pretty childish to believe that he could avoid her till Monday. So he looked at her and tried to look as innocent as possible. Bridget opened her mouth briefly to look at him then furiously. "Because you wanted to hide that from me, it must be something that you are annoyed with and I won't be thrilled either."

"Yes, you're right, ..." Adam stood up and walked around the table to stand directly in front of her. "... I just wanted to talk to him. Nothing more but then one word led to another."

Adam shrugged. Bridget shook her head and looked into his eyes. "And who had to feel the wrong wolf?"

He scratched his chin and tried to avoid her gaze. "Tyler's father ..."

As he had expected, she was shocked. "Marc? Why? Not because the birthday party has been cancelled?"

His lips tightened, he shook his head. "Actually I just wanted to talk to him because Jenks is in jail on his account and he ..."

"Simon's in prison?" She put her hands akimbo. "Have you both lost your mind today? And what about Little Joe? Is he with Yvette? You only wanted to have a beer in the saloon!"

"Little Joe's at the Ponderosa and he has nothing to do with the matter. Marc and Mr Doohan have dredged up that old story of Jenks, where he shot a man. Bridget, I only wanted an opportunity to talk to him about why Tyler can't spend his afternoons with the others. My intention wasn't to beat him up."

Sighing, she looked at him and carefully stroked a black and blue mark in his face. "And what about Simon? Will Tom still let him go today? I can't send Sally home if she's alone then. ... Adam, I can't even tell her that her father's in prison."

Adam raised his hands. "I can't tell you. I told Tom to get in touch with Mr Lampert. He could confirm that the matter has being investigated at that time and Jenks isn't on the run."

Once again, Bridget closed her eyes. "Just as I've got to know Simon so far, he won't have volunteered to accompanying Tom."

"Yes, he too had to deal with the wrong wolf today." 

"You two should really calm down. Otherwise you will never get the cattle to your destination."

"Shouldn't he be released today, I'll talk to Tom tomorrow. He has already calmed down and ..." He leaned forward slightly and gave her a kiss. ".. me too."

"You did?"

He grinned. "Yeah, in former times I'd have biffed Marc on his nose right before his first sentence."

Laughing, she slapped him gently against his chest. "You're really impossible, Adam."

Adam put his arm around Bridget and walked out of the office with her. "What kind of cake is there?"

"You want to distract."

"Not me!"

XXX

He had already said good-bye to all of them but his sister hadn't been outside the house like the others. As he could already imagine where she was, he went into the barn and looked up to the hayloft. That he was right, he knew, as he heard a rustling from above. He climbed up the ladder and saw Sarah sitting in the corner. Her legs drawn up and her arms on her knees. Adam sat down beside her and pushed slightly with his leg against her leg. "We're about to leave but I'd take the time if you like to talk to me about it."

„Mhhh …"

She didn't lift her head but clutched her legs even stronger.  
"I'd like to say goodbye to you."

Hesitantly, his sister raised her head but the moment she looked into Adam's eyes, she fell into his arms and held him tightly. "I don't want you to go."

He put his arms around her and gave her a kiss on the hair. "We're not on the road for so long this year."

"Can't Pa go instead and you stay here?" 

Quietly Adam had to laugh. "Sunshine, I'll be back in a few weeks. You've got the little tribe. You've been thinking about some nice things for the holidays and you should be there too, because after the holidays Kono and Halona won't be able to play with you any longer."

Sarah sat down so that she could look at Adam now. "Why's that?"

"They will soon be twelve years old and for the Gosiute it means that they're no longer children. Boys and girls cannot play with each other anymore. Then they will be prepared for their adult life."

"But they can nevertheless still play with us."

Adam shook his head. "Haven't you noticed that in the village? That the older girls have no more contact with the boys?"

Sarah narrowed her eyes, thinking. "I've seen them talking now and then but not like before."

"The lives of the elder children are significantly different from the life you'll be going to lead at this age. The girls are being prepared quite early on what is expected of them when they get married."

"So I can still play with Riccardo and the other guys later?"

"Of course you can but ..." Adam began to grin. "... the time will come when I will also look more closely at what you're doing with Riccardo."

Sarah's eyes grew big. "How come?" 

Still grinning Adam ruffled his sister's hair. "We'll talk about it in a few years."

"Wynono, why has so much to change after the holidays? Why does anything have to change at all?"

"What changes?" 

Sarah sat cross-legged and played with some straw, looking at her hands. "Well, not everyone in the village can play with us. Teaching will take place back in town and Bridget isn't our teacher any more and Sally will certainly not live any longer here on the ranch."

"Sunshine, changes belong to life and we just don't like them because we don't know what they mean for us. We are afraid of what lies ahead. But you needn't to be afraid if you don't think of the changes as your enemy. If you recognize them as a challenge to you." Adam smiled at her lovingly. "You don't have to be afraid of Sally's father. You know him and he won't be like Curt. I don't think they will move into town. If Pelipa and Jenks are going to be married, they will live here, near us and Koko."

Still, Sarah's features didn't look joyful. "But my greatest fear isn't that change."

Adam raised her chin. "So what's your fear?"

As sad as the eyes of his sister were looking at him, it almost tore Adam's heart. "I'm afraid you'll never come back. Hoss isn't with you to take care of you."

Despite Sarah's fear Adam had to smile about Sarah's belief that her brother could prevent him of all the dangers because of his size. "Sunshine, I told you once, that death doesn't mean the end. Even without Hoss, I hope the road of my life will still be very long."

There were tears in the eyes of his little sister and Adam caught her in his arms again. "I'm not going to get rid of this fear. Even if you say that you'll still be with me, you aren't there. Now I can see you, touch you and talk to you and ..." She had to swallow several times. "... I get an answer."

Adam also had to breathe deeply before he could speak. "I can't give you an answer that can really take away your fear because you want to hear from me that I'm going to come back home safe and sound. I cannot promise you that. What I can promise, though, is that I will take care of myself and won't put myself in any unnecessary dangers and I will think of you as often as possible."

"I don't want to forget you. ... Little Joe told me that he almost can't remember his mother anymore. What if I ... "

Adam put his finger on Sarah's lips. "Sunshine, ... please stop thinking. If you fill your heart with these sad thoughts, you'll be unable to see the sunshine in your soul."

"But what can I do if you aren't with me?"

After a moment's consideration, Adam had an idea and hoped that he could cheer up his sister. "Do you have the little book Mum gave you some time ago?"

"That which I should use when my other herb book is filled with notes?"

"That's exactly what I mean. Mum won't mind if you make other use of the book. I also have a book with me and I will write something down every day. About what I have experienced and seen. You will also write in your book what you experience during my absence and when I'm back, we exchange the books. So I'm with you and you're with me."

Sarah's gaze still didn't change as she thought about Adam's words. "And if you don't live anymore?"

"Then you'll get the book anyway. Joe or Jenkins will give it to you and then you will read yours to me at my grave or on my mountain. I'll be with you and hear it."

Again, Sarah dropped into his arms and they just held each other for a few minutes. She let go off him, when they heard from below Joe calling for Adam, that they were about to leave.  
With both hands, Adam pushed her slightly away to look into her eyes again. "You'll see. Time will pass quickly and we'll both be in each others arms again."

She nodded and wiped some tears from her face and tried to smile. Then they both climbed down the ladder and left the barn. Joe and Jenkins and their horses were already waiting for Adam. He hugged his sister again and then went to Sport.

Sally was also in front of the barn and took her leave of her father. "Stay decent and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Sally laughed. "I really should punch the Sheriff?"

Jenkins slapped her gently against the head. "Certainly not, young lady. Take care, my little wolf."

"I always do. I'm not up to more nonsense than usual."

He took the reins of his horse and smiled at her. "That doesn't really satisfy me. You can choose with Pelipa a nice place, where we want to build our house."

Sally put her hands in her pockets and looked down at the ground. "Do we have to move out here? Can't we just stay in the house?"

He came back to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I won't work on the Ponderosa any longer after the trail and since we have finally found our home here, I'd also like to have our own house where we live together as a family."

Frowning she looked at him. "And Pelipa and I can choose the place? No matter where it is, you're going to agree?"

"Now you really scare me a bit, young lady."

He got into the saddle and gave his daughter an air kiss. Then the three men looked at each other and left the Ponderosa.

XX

Ben couldn't help it. He moaned softly as he saw Riccardo standing by the fence, watching the two bulls. For two weeks, Riccardo has been working with a lot of enthusiasm on the list that Adam had given him. When Ben thought he could give Riccardo some advice, it had been ignored. At every second sentence he heard that Adam had shown it differently. And he couldn't say then that it wasn't right. On the contrary. With the things that Frederic's son made differently, Ben had to admit, that it was better, faster and more effective that way. Only when calculating how much timber they needed to fix some fences after the holidays, Ben could help the boy. Ben stood next to Riccardo and looked with him at the bulls. "These are two splendid fellows, Riccardo. Have you noticed the things you need to look out for when buying cattle?"

„Mhhh …."

Ben looked at the boy, who leaned on the fence with both arms. "Are you all right, Riccardo?"

"Mhhh, ... I've been here for quite some time and I've watched the two of them ..." Ben couldn't prevent his eyes from twisting again. Did he expect anything else? Probably the boy had been awake before his parents and hadn't even had breakfast, just to be able to be quickly at the ranch. "... Ben, ... I think the smaller one is a bit strange."

"Strange?" Ben looked at the bulls. "But this isn't a statement you should use if you want to buy cattle."

"But I can't describe it any better. I've only watched them. How he moves and holds his head. I wouldn't buy him." 

Ben hit the fence with his hand. "Riccardo, you're nine years old and have only been living here at the ranch for some years. You can't yet judge whether this bull is worth the price or not."

Riccardo didn't look up to Ben. Too loudly, he had talked to him. Adam had once said to him that he wished that he would always say what he was thinking, even if there was only a certain feeling in his belly, that might concern him. Thus, the reaction of Ben had surprised him and now he didn't dare to say more about the bulls.

"These are two first-rate animals and when the two men come out of town, they will get their money and you, my boy, you should learn to listen more and not think you know everything. Adam shouldn't praise you so often. Apparently that doesn't suit you. I think you should take care of the barn now. You haven't done so far."

"Yes, Sir."

Head down, Riccardo went to the barn.

XX

In the early afternoon, the children were all playing with Sarah near the main house. "Riccardo, what's the matter with you today?" Sarah turned to her boyfriend and looked at him worried. "You look so sad all the time."

Riccardo poked the ground with his foot. "Oh, your father told me off this morning."

"What did you do?"

"I wanted to tell him something about the bulls. He should look at them again before handing over the money."

Sarah looked at the two bulls behind the fence. "Is something wrong with them?"

The boy shrugged. "I'm not sure. One of them behaves quite strangely now and then but your father didn't want to listen to me."

Sarah laughed. "I know. He still doesn't listen to me, though it's gotten better since he no longer works as much on the Ponderosa."

"I just know that Uncle Adam wants to spend a lot of money on the two animals and that's why Ben should take another look."

Again Sarah looked at the two animals. "Well, for me, they look quite normal."

"Yes, at the moment. He doesn't do it all the time. It's only when you look at him for a long time."

"Hey, you no longer play with us?"  
Sally hit Riccardo on the back. "Your turn."

Sarah started to grin. "I bet that we girls are faster and you won't get us."

After hesitating briefly and a last look at the two bulls, Riccardo ran after Sarah and Sally and tried to catch them. 

Sophie had Chesmu by the hand and pulled him in the direction of the two bulls. "You have to look at them. They are really big."

Chesmu didn't want to get close to the fence. He was much too afraid of the cattle on the ranch. "They are also very loud."

He held his ears and looked anxiously at the animals. Sophie felt also somehow uncomfortable. When she had looked at the animals before, they hadn't been that loud. All of a sudden one of the bulls ran up to the fence. With every step he became faster until he was so fast that he could easily break the fence with his weight. Sophie and Chesmu stood frozen and watched as the bull came running towards them.

The other children looked horrified at the two little ones and the bull. None of them was able to move or call out to them. However, they flinched when Rusty ran past them barking loudly. The dog chased after the bull and ran between his legs. Through the barking and by the fact that Rusty tried to bite it on the legs, the animal changed direction and lunged out with the hind legs. Ben, stunned by the noise, came running out of the barn and his heart almost stopped. However, it didn't take long and he called for the few men who had remained on the Ponderosa.

Due to Rusty the bull had changed the direction and now dashed off. The children's rigidity subsided and they ran to Sophie and Chesmu. They hadn't yet reached the two, when all the color drained from Sarah's face. A few yards from the two youngsters, Rusty lay and didn't move any more.

XXX

"Tyler, you're finally ready? We're about to go."

Tyler put his saddle bag over his horse and took the reins. "I am. My mother had always asked me if I had enough stuff on myself. And we're just a week away."

The other five began to laugh. Since they knew Tyler's mother very well, they could imagine what their friend had heard in the morning. "I just want to stop at the shop of Mr Norton. My grandfather has said there's a package for me." 

The children mounted and reached the shop after a short time. "But hurry, Tyler. Aponi and the others are already waiting for us."

Tyler waved to Aiyana and went into the shop. The others had dismounted and were now looking at the display in the shop window.

"Hello kids." The five turned to see a woman standing in front of them, smiling. "I'm looking for a Sally Jenkins. They told me it's one of you."

The children didn't answer at once but looked at each other in surprise. "I'm Sally Jenkins."

The smile of the woman grew. "I thought so. You look very much like your father. Can you tell me where I can find him?"

Sally didn't answer right away. Something was bothering her about the woman but she couldn't tell what it was. "He's currently on a cattle drive and won't be back for two weeks."

"Thank you, kid." She began to laugh. "You have the same skeptical expression as he has if he feels uneasy about something. I still have things to do elsewhere. I will come back again after Summer to talk to him. Goodbye, kids."

Sally watched her for as long as it took Tyler to come out of the shop. "Look what I got. A pocket knife."

He showed the others the small knife and Sally had forgotten the woman quite quickly.

XXX

The six children lay on the shore and let the sun shine on their bellies. They had been on tour for four days and wanted to head back tomorrow. They were always half the day on the water with the canoe and then looked for a bay for the night to pitch their camp. During the four days they had already learned a lot from the other children of the village. Not only how they could make a campfire without too much smoke but also how they could catch fish and build traps with simple means. Aponi had shown them how to hide their canoes and how to launch them quickly if need be.

With a jerk Tyler sat up. "I haven't told you what I just discovered when collecting wood." The others remained lying but opened their eyes and looked at him questioningly. "Behind the forest there's a small valley. There I found a hut. Do you want to see it? Perhaps a bank robber has hidden his loot there."

Aiyana began to laugh. "Tyler, did your father read too much from the newspaper to you?"

"He didn't, but even in Virginia City the bank was robbed before and the Sheriff hasn't caught the robbers to this day. Imagine if we were to find the spoils, because the hut only contains the skeleton of the robber."

Sally turned to the side and looked at Tyler. "And you think what the Sheriff didn't do, we could do, because you've been looking for a few sticks for the camp fire?"

Offended, Tyler crossed his arms and looked to the water. "It was just an idea of what we could do until the meal. But if you don't want to?"

Tyler looked to the side startled as Riccardo jumped up. "Well, I'll come with you, Tyler. Because when we find the prey, we'll get a reward. Then I can give it to Uncle Adam and he can buy the best bulls between California and New York."

Tyler stood up too and put his arm around his friend's shoulders. "That's exactly what we'll do and I'm going to buy the best saddle of all. Well Bernardo, are you joining us? The girls want to stay here while we become the heroes of Virginia City. It's a job for real men anyway."

Before Bernardo could get up, the three girls had jumped up and stood in front of Riccardo and Tyler. "Without us, dear mate, you would still play with marbles in the sand. ..." Aiyana looked at her two girlfriends. "... Come on, now we show the boys how to experience adventures."

"Tyler, I think you offended our chief's pride." Riccardo reached out for Bernardo's hand and pulled him up. "Come on, we can't give them a head start."

Bernardo looked up into the sky. "This go wrong again."

"Riccardo, Bernardo won't turn into a warrior any more. We can forget about that."

Bernardo couldn't laugh as the two others ran after the girls.  
The six had hardly left the forest when they were already at the edge of the valley. A little further away a small hut was located. A horse was tied in front. But nothing was to be seen of the rider. Immediately the children lay on their bellies and watched the hut.

"Tyler, your skeleton still seems to be alive." 

"Very funny, Sally. When I was here earlier, the horse wasn't there yet."

"And what are we doing now?"

Sarah was in the middle, looking to the right and then to the left. But the others shrugged. "Probably just trapper checking traps."

"Really, Bernardo, I don't know what to do with you. I can't tell anyone you're my brother. We are still so far from the hut and you're already scared stiff."

"I not afraid but always something happen when something like that is."

The five others looked at him and spoke at the same time. "Bernardo, you are scared!"

Aiyana's brother put his forehead to the ground and closed his eyes. "But I always right and now surely also mean trouble."

"I think Bernardo's actually right ..."

Stunned, Bernardo raised his head and like the others he looked amazed at Sarah, who spoke very softly. She pointed to the hut. Down there a man had just left the house and climbed the horse. There was a gentle gasping of the six kids, as they looked after the horseman, who disappeared in the direction of the mountains. They turned on their backs and looked into the sky. "We're still quite far from the hut. Maybe it wasn't him."

Riccardo didn't turn his head to Sarah when he answered. "But don't we all think of the same?"

Bernardo began to speak softly. And one by one they named the name of the man he had seen.


	92. Chapter 92

He quietly closed the door of Neisha's room. Like the three others, she had fallen asleep quite quickly. She was probably done by their joint excursion. Adam had been touring with them all by canoe for another two days and they had returned home late in the afternoon, which had resulted a side-eye from Bridget, since tomorrow was the first day of school after the holidays. Before Adam went down, he checked again on Claire and George. Carefully he entered the bedroom and looked into the bed. The two of them had been "off" very early. Probably they had enjoyed that they were alone with Bridget during the last two days. Smiling, he stroked the twins hair. They still slept more quietly when they were together in one bed. If that didn't change in the near future he might have to build a bigger bed. Here, too, he closed the door quietly behind and went down in a good mood. He stopped at the foot of the stairs when he saw Bridget coming out of her office. "They all sleep?"

"So quiet and peaceful as not seen in a long time."

With a broad grin he went to her and put his hands on her hips and pulled her close. "We could have the whole evening for us."

Tenderly, she looked into his eyes and let him kiss her. Then she put her hands on his chest and smiled at him. "I would like to spend the evening with you but I have already arranged an appointment with another man."

Adam smirked and raised an eyebrow. "But not again with Jenks? You were with him only four days ago. Do I need to be jealous?"

"If you hadn't had this great idea with the trip and Tom and Simon weren't going to join you, Simon and I would already have discussed everything he needs to know before he starts the lessons tomorrow."

Once again he gave her a long kiss and then looked lovingly into her eyes. "If you don't come home late, you'll get much more."

Now she slapped him against his chest and broke away from his embrace. "You are impossible as always. Will you still work in the office?"

"Since I am a lonely, abandoned husband, I will sit outside with a good bottle of whiskey and look sadly at my mountains to indulge myself to the pain."

She shook her head and went to the door. "Why didn't I just get back on the stage coach then?"

Adam only smiled as she left the house, shaking her head. Then he went into the kitchen, took a glass and a bottle of whiskey. Taking a detour through his office to pick up a book he went to sit outside on the bench. First he drank some sips and looked at the mountains, thanking the Great Spirit for his family and that his life was as he wished it to be. Since his last visit on the mountain after the explosion he hadn't lost sight of his way. The cattle drive had been going very well and even with Little Joe there had been no problems. He had done all the tasks required without complaining once. Whenever time had allowed, Jenks and he had sat down by the fire and talked and with each passing day Jenkins got more and more

calm. If, in his first days as a teacher, nothing unexpected happened, the wrong wolf would retreat more and not come to light so fast. Adam put the glass aside and took the book to hand. He smiled. As he hadn't expected otherwise, Winona had written every day and not just a few sentences. Just like he was at this age, she was able to describe things so extensively that you had the impression that you had been in this place. Curious to see what had happened in his absence, he opened the book and began to read ...

XX

'... I'd have liked to tell Riccardo that he could forget about going on a trip with us. Again he worked all day on the ranch and didn't help us build the canoes. But the trip will start next week after all. I'm curious to see if he has time at least to play with us here at the Ponderosa tomorrow. Tomorrow we want to make a little barbecue. Cholette and Clement will come, as well as Giovanna and Frederic. Of course, Bridget will also be there and Hoss and Koko will be coming with Pelipa.

We weren't only in the village to get the canoes finished. Today, the bulls arrived that Pa had been waiting for all the time. I think I've never seen two such big and strong animals. I had the impression that even Riccardo had some respect for them. He only looked at them with big eyes and said nothing. Surely he has imagined how it must be to get them and drive them to the herd. Until he can do that, he has to muck out a lot of barns. I will definitely not go closer to the two.  
Pa looked at me quite puzzled that I went to my room so quickly after dinner but it was a really hard day today in the village. I've never had to work so much on leather as in the past few days. I will lie down and read a little.

... Riccardo had just touched my back when something was thundering behind us. Frightened, we had all turned around. One of the bulls had broken the fence and ran toward Sophie and Chesmu, who were standing in front of the fence. I was unable to do anything and looked desperately at Riccardo but he also didn't move. He had just told me that he found one of the two strange but Pa didn't want to listen to him. As we all stood frozen, so were Sophie and Chesmu. I winced as Rusty ran barking past us and ran toward the bulls. My fingers were clutched to Riccardo's arm. My heart was in my mouth. Somehow Rusty managed that the bull turned the other way. I was so happy that Rusty didn't want to accompany you on the trail this year. We all laughed so hard that she walked a few yards but then turned around quickly to go home ...  
Sorry Wynono, I have to take a short break ...

As soon as the bull had disappeared in the other direction, we ran to Sophie and Chesmu. ... Wynono, it's not easy for me to write about this day. I still start to cry when I think of what happened. Pa can be so mean. If he had really done it, I would never have talked to him again and would have moved to you. He looked at Rusty only briefly and then wanted to get his rifle. I'm just glad he didn't wear his gun belt that day. Otherwise he would have shot her right away. Rusty didn't move anymore when we ran to Sophie. I knelt to her and addressed her but she gave no sound. Only when I touched her gently and shook her a little she started to whimper. But she didn't want to get up. She didn't even lift her head. The others also sat with me and we didn't know what to do. None of us dared to pick her up and bring her to the house. Chesmu then ran to get Ma or Bridget but meanwhile Pa had caught the bull again and came to us. He looked briefly at Rusty and then said that nothing could be done for her because she was bleeding from her nose and wasn't just injured at the head. It would be a relief for her to be freed from pain.

First I spoke quietly to Pa but he said I should by now know how life on a ranch is. Then I shouted at him that he was mean and he didn't even bother about taking care of Rusty. Fortunately, Ma came and looked more closely at Rusty. It was Ma who told us to take her to Hoss and Koko and if Hoss says it's in vain, you really can't do anything for her anymore. All the way to the farm, I sat with Rusty and talked to her. She can't just die. Especially not when you're not with her. I didn't want to go back home but Koko promised to let me know if she couldn't do anything for her. I haven't spoken to Pa today. I'm still too mad at him. He knows exactly what Rusty means to you. But Riccardo was very sweet. He consoled me all the time and only left when Giovanna said he was to go home.

I still can't sleep properly, so I got up again to write what happened today. Of course, the barbecue was cancelled, because none of us really felt like celebrating. I couldn't eat a thing anyway. I won't eat anything until I know that Rusty is doing well and if I ever talk to Pa again, I don't know yet. Now that I've written it all down, I'm really mad at him again. I think I won't join the trip next week. I can't leave Rusty on her own and I ...

Pa just came in and told me off because I'm not in bed yet. I'll continue writing tomorrow. I don't want to have a talk in the barn today.'

Adam put the book aside and took a deep breath. A cold chill ran through him as he thought about the words of his sister. Somehow he had to think of the cat on the barrel back then which was shot by the men. He could very well understand how Winona had felt that day. He could also imagine how their father had behaved. Adam was the last one to let an animal suffer but he would have tried to explain to the children so that they too could understand why there was no other way out. Luckily, Hoss had been there. Smiling, he looked at his feet. Rusty lay over them and slept. Since he was back she was always at his side. His brother had told him that Koko and he hadn't believed in the first two days that she would make it. But on the third day she raised her head again and tried to drink a little by herself. After that, she was getting better every day. Today it was only very rarely to be noted what had happened to her a few weeks ago. Now and then she limped slightly and spared her left front paw but Adam wasn't sure whether she did that on purpose because she knew then that she was spoiled by the kids and Bridget and got an extra portion of food. Before returning to the book, he looked at the mountains for a while ...

'... .. Before we went to the village to go with Aponi on the trip, I looked again at Rusty. She was much better. Only she couldn't run properly yet. Hoss said she was sleeping half the day but she was eating again, which is a good sign. I hope when you're back, she's back home.

... We spent half the day on the water. I can't move my arms anymore. The paddling was quite exhausting. But it already has advantages that I'm the smallest in the group. So the big ones were looking for the wood and I prepared the camp with Aponi. Then we waited until it was dark. Aponi then went off with us and we were looking for cicadas to eat them for supper. At first I didn't know what that meant but when we caught the first, I knew that crickets were meant. They were then fried and eaten. In the beginning I only ate the fruits we had collected but when even Bernardo tried the cicadas, I tried it, too. They didn't taste bad but I couldn't forget what I just had in my mouth. I will surely eat them again only if I'm really, really hungry. I got up very early to tell you about yesterday. The others are still asleep. This afternoon Aponi wants to show us how to hide our canoes so that they can't be seen from the water but we can launch them in the water very quickly. We also want to play hide and seek on the water today, how to approach the other silently ...

... I was so shocked when I looked at the hut. I always told myself he couldn't be there. I had to be wrong. I hadn't seen him so often. The others have told a great deal about him and that he wasn't your friend. But he can't be alive anymore.

We've all been lying on our backs for a long time and after some time everyone said they thought Mitch had ridden off the hut. Wynono, is it possible that we were all wrong? We were so frightened that we no longer dared to go to the hut and I've also been wondering for a long time whether I'm going to write of that day. Because Wynono, ... if he's alive, ... then doesn't Mr Winfield live, too? ... '

Motionless Adam sat on the bench and watched the mountains. After some time, he found himself holding his breath. The children had to be wrong. It couldn't be otherwise. They couldn't be alive anymore ... They mustn't. Only very slowly his heartbeat calmed down again. He needn't to worry. Curt would never let himself be seen again. He wouldn't only have to take responsibility for the explosion but also that he had shot the man on the construction site. For Mitch, it looked a bit different. It couldn't be proved that he had anything to do with the explosion. Even if he was looking at the mountains during the next few hours, he wouldn't get an answer and they couldn't silence this soft voice in his mind. In any case he would ride to the hut in the next few days and look for himself. After drinking another two whiskys, he picked up the book again.

'... I know you've been back for two days but since we have agreed to change the books only after the wedding of Pelipa and Simon, I can continue writing for so long. It's fun to think about it all at the end of the day, so I just keep going.

Our tribe had a long talk about where the house of Sally should be. It wasn't easy at all. It shouldn't be so far from us all but it couldn't be on our land and Pelipa wouldn't want to live in town. We have found two places but the one that is near Koko is on your land. In my eyes it's also the more beautiful place of the two. I hope you can agree with Sally's father that he is allowed to have the piece of land and they can start construction quickly. We have finally found a name for her dog. Chayton. This was the name of Sally's great-grandfather. I can't wait when we all meet again to see what Simon says about the name. I'm a little envious that I don't have my own dog but Pa would certainly not allow me to take it into the house. So I'm borrowing Rusty now and then. Pa says nothing and certainly not since Rusty saved Sophie's and Chesmu's lives. Oh, I've just seen what time it is. I should clear the light quickly before Pa comes back in ...

... Wynono, I can't go on anymore. I'm so tired. It was an incredible day. Pelipa looked so beautiful. I think when I get married, I want to do it in a dress of the Indians. And the chains and bracelets that she has worn ... I had to look again and again. Aiyana must show me how they are made. The idea that Tom and Amarok alternated with the marriage ceremony was so special. I've never experienced a wedding this way. And you have always worried that there can be no peace between the Whites and the Indians. But wasn't that an important step today that we can all live together peacefully? I'm already curious how it will be when Simon is our teacher after the holidays. Will there be trouble because he married Pelipa? Tyler has told us that his father doesn't agree with it at all but he only tells that if Tyler's grandfather isn't around. I think Tyler's father is just as stupid as Mitch. Were the two actually friends in school?

Tomorrow we will exchange the books and I'm just too tired to write down all the things that I've experienced at the celebration today. I can only say these were the most beautiful holidays I've ever had.'

... Adam closed the book, leaned back and closed his eyes. After a while, he smiled all over his face. He remembered the words he had once said to Emillia. That if Winona was older, she would surely stick to Little Joe but he didn't believe it anymore. The bond to his sister grew stronger every year. But he couldn't explain exactly what was special between them. Just because they were so similar in many ways? He took the glass in his hand and looked at the liquid for a while before he drank it in one go. He put the empty glass back on the table and raised his eyebrows. He had drunk half of the bottle while reading. He was just about to get up and end the evening when he heard the front door slam. With a wide grin he stood up to go to Bridget.

XXX

"Do you think it's going to snow soon?"

Aiyana looked at her friends. They led their horses by the reins along the road. They had grown accustomed to walking to Tyler's house after school and then to get on their horses.  
"I hope not." Sally looked worriedly at the sky. "The last work on the house will be done this weekend so we can finally move in there. It took long enough, because my dad's in school and Adam had so much to do on the construction site with Frederic and the ranch. They must get it completed at the weekend."

The others grinned because Sally could hardly wait to finally move into her bigger room. The small house at the Ponderosa wasn't suitable for a teacher with many books to live there. It was a house for cowboys. It wasn't long after the summer and Jenkins had taken her room to prepare for the lesson.

"Do you want us to meet you at your house on Saturday?"

A look from Tyler in the round was enough and it was decided that they would meet again on Saturday at Sally's new house.  
"Sally, ..."

Jenkins' daughter didn't turn around but looked annoyed at the sky. Softly, she whispered to Bernardo, who was standing in front of her. "Don't tell me it's that strange woman again."

Like Bernardo, the others also nodded. For several weeks this woman showed up again and again, looking for the proximity of the children and especially that of Sally. Slowly, Sally turned around and tried to smile.  
"Sally, nice to see you all here. How was school?"

Tyler stood next to Sally and crossed his arms "School was, as always, very instructive. Didn't you want to leave town?"

The woman laughed. "You have chosen a nice young man as your friend."

She wanted to stroke Sally over her head but she took a step back.  
Keeping a stiff upper lip, the woman smiled at the children. "You know, I like your small town so much that I think about staying here. But I have to talk to your father first. As I've heard, he's your teacher?"

Now Sally took a step forward again. "My father is already on his way home. My mother didn't feel so well this morning."

For the first time, the woman no longer smiled. "Your mother? You don't live with your father alone?"

"No."

"She can't be your mother. Well, I mean, ..." It looked as if she was shaking a bit. Then she had caught herself again and the smile returned. "Then I must have misunderstood something. Is she a woman out of town?"

She tilted her head and looked at the children with her fake smile. Every time she showed up she became more unappealing to the children. Today she would tell her father about the woman. Because something was wrong with her. That she also constantly asked about her dad, she found very strange. Why didn't she go straight to him when she wanted something from him? "No. My mother, like my father, is an Indian."

The eyes of the unknown woman grew wide and it couldn't be overlooked how shocked she was. "My friends and I have to go home now. If you tell me your name, I can tell my father that you want to see him."

The children mounted their horses and Sally looked at the woman. She had the impression that it was hard for her not to show her anger too clearly. "You don't need to. I'll do it myself."

Sally pulled the reins around and rode off with the others.

XX

Adam put up the collar of his jacket. The wind had increased and as it looked, it was going to snow soon. But it wasn't far. If the precipitation didn't get too strong, he could be at home in one or two hours. Since the talks in Carson City had been without problems he had been back two days earlier than expected. So, if he asked Cholette and the snow wasn't too high, he could go to town with Bridget tomorrow evening and even spend the night there.

He pulled his hat down on the face to protect himself better from the wind. As he hadn't expected differently, the first snowflakes fell after a short time but luckily he still made good progress.

X

Koko was standing in the kitchen and preparing the vegetables she was going to wash and cut for supper. She just took a bowl out of the cupboard when a cold chill ran through her body. With difficulty she could just hold onto the bowl. Something had suddenly frightened her. Her look went immediately into the living room but both children sat peacefully on the floor and played. Koko shook her head and turned back to the vegetables.

X

He raised his head. Should he be lucky today and find something to eat? For a long time he had been searching and he was far away from his actual hunting grounds. Crouching, he sneaked toward the noise.

X

If it had snowed more intensly, the traces would have been hidden. Adam stopped and got out of the saddle and knelt down. These were clearly traces of a cougar. Adam's eyes went to the mountains. The animal had come quite a long way down to the valley. Koko's farm would be easy to reach for the animal and the horses would be a good prey to the cougar. "Sport, let's follow the tracks a bit. Perhaps he had already gone back to the mountains. If not, then I'll go on a little hunting trip with Hoss tomorrow."  
He took the reins and went on to follow the tracks.

X

He hadn't been wrong. Somebody came in his direction. He lay down on the rock and waited. If he was patient, he would return with the booty. His stomach was so empty that he would take everything, no matter what he was facing.

X

Koko had to hold on to the sink with both hands. She gasped. She felt the blood drain from her face. Her hands began to tremble. She had no idea what was happening with her. She tried to calm her heartbeat.

X

Cautiously, he raised his head and tried to identify the smell. He had to test the scent twice. Then he was sure. It wasn't just a horse that came running toward him. Prone, he crawled to the edge. The nearer his victim came the more he prepared himself for the attack.

X

Adam let go of the reins and went a few steps forward. Due to the snow he couldn't see where the crevices were. He knew the area well and there were always places where it suddenly went a few feet down. He crouched down but he had lost the tracks due to the snow. It wouldn't be worthwhile to look any further because Adam wanted to be home before dark. Putting his hands on his thigh, Adam was about to get up when he saw a shadow on his right side.

X

His eyes were fixed on the person who squatted a few yards away from him. His body was tense. His focus lay only on his prey. Very slowly, he prepared for the jump. As soon as his booty reared, he put all his strength on his hind legs ...

X

She had screamed so loudly that the children in the living room fell silent and looked to the kitchen. The bowl, which she still had held in her hand, lay on the ground, broken. Still, Koko had no idea what was going on but in her was this voice that kept telling her to go outside. She looked back at Travis and Nick and without thinking any further, she made a decision. She walked past the broken pieces and helped the children to slip on their coats and boots.

Later she stood in front of Pelipa's house, wondering what to do next. Fortunately, Pelipa had taken the kids without asking further questions. Still, she couldn't explain what was going on. She couldn't imagine that something had happened to Hoss. It felt different. Koko mounted and rode off.

X

In a split second Adam raised his arms. But he couldn't prevent the clash with the cougar, let alone grab his gun. The animal's mouth was only a few inches from his face. Adam's hands had clawed into the fur of the cougar. He tried to push him away. The sweat stood on his forehead. Wherever he took the strength, after some struggle, he managed to hurl the animal to the side. He had only one thought, to quickly get on his feet and run for his rifle. Sport had run a few yards due to the attack of the cougar but with some luck he could still reach him. He wasn't quite back on his feet when he stumbled off. Suddenly he slammed face down on the ground as the cougar dug his claws into his back. His fortune was that the stones beneath him were very smooth through the snow and he slipped aside. Even the cougar didn't find a proper halt at this moment. On all fours, Adam crawled away from the animal, trying to get to his gun. He had to make sure that the cougar wasn't back behind him. He wouldn't survive another attack of this kind. With the gun in his hand, he straightened and turned. It was too late. Once again, the cougar flew toward him. His hands again wrapped around the animal's neck, Adam staggered back. He blinked. The blood from one of the wounds on his forehead took his view. The cry that now escaped his lips seemed to be heard for miles. In the fight with the cougar, he had receded further. Then he lost his footing and crashed with the animal into the depth.

Even if he didn't fall as far down as it was at Kajika, he again hit several rocks before he fell to the ground. His chest raised and lowered and desperately he tried to calm himself and his breathing so as to get back on his feet before the cougar attacked again. He wiped the sweat and blood from his face. Then Adam went to grab his gun. His breathing stopped when he reached into the void. He must have lost the weapon either in the tussle or the fall. Now he had to instantly get to his feet anyway. The cry he gave out wasn't as loud as the first when he tried to get up. Panic spread as he realized that he couldn't move his legs ... that he didn't even feel them. Only in his back was this hellish pain when he moved. Breathing loudly, he waited for the next attack from the cougar.

X

He had lost all sense of time, when a warm feeling spread on his chest. Adam placed his right hand on his chain and slowly he calmed down. Step by step, he remembered what he had learned from the Gosiute and how to behave in a seemingly hopeless situation. Not only his breathing slowed down but his heart wasn't beating as fast. His arms were now lying beside his body. With the palms he touched the ground and felt the snow and the cold. Then he closed his eyes and sought his inner peace to push aside his useless thoughts. When he was at one with himself again, he opened his eyes. He turned his head to the left. The cougar lay about twenty yards away and was no longer moving. So Adam had one less problem. Now he could take care of his body. Head and arms he could move. With clenched teeth he tried to turn on his belly. It didn't hurt as before. If he moved with prudence, the pain was limited. He tried several times to get on all fours. But his legs didn't move an inch. He couldn't even feel the usual pins and needles he'd felt when he'd worked too hard. Adam looked around to see if he could see Sport anywhere. But probably his horse had run off, scared. If he had a little luck it was on its way home. Otherwise his chances were pretty bad that someone would find him, since he was only expected back within two days. It was still snowing. As the sky looked, it wouldn't stop anytime soon. This didn't necessarily improve his current situation. His gaze wandered over the landscape. He breathed faster again, as there wasn't a place to reach without difficulty. He could forget about getting up the small rise. Under normal circumstances, it would have been no problem but now? Laughing, he let his head drop into the snow. In the last few years he had been afraid to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. The issue would be already over this night. For if not for a miracle happening, he would be frozen to death in a few hours. With a painful face, he turned on his back. Maybe he was lucky and the cold ground made the feeling come back in his legs.

Adam looked into the sky and his thoughts wandered to his family. Not yet was this peace in him that he could leave this world without feeling the pain of parting. But this point would come. With a deep breath, he realized that he wouldn't live to see the first birthday of Claire and George and whether Winona was able to realize her desire to learn more about the Indian medicine. His jaw ached as he tried to swallow the pain. He didn't want to think of Bridget. Whether it was the blood or a tear that just ran down his cheek, he didn't know. It was no longer important. The only thing that mattered was that he managed to find the peace in himself to be able to let go. The thoughts began to whirl around. Then, very much restrained, he began to smile. Koko appeared before his mind's eye. The noises disappeared around him. The snowflakes that fell into his face no longer bothered him. The cold, which had long taken possession of his body, had disappeared. He only saw Koko before him and she smiled at him soothingly. And then it was there, ... the rest he needed to let go. Koko would be by his side and accompany him and their souls would reunite. Adam didn't realize as the night gained victory over the day.

X

Aimlessly, Koko rode through the snow. It was sheer madness what she was doing here but she couldn't turn back. Something inside made her go on. But not much longer and it would get dark. Then it was perilous to ride on in this kind of weather. Her mind said she should turn back. Her heart spoke a different language. So she rode on. She stopped when she came to the area where she knew there was an increase in small crevices. But she couldn't see them through the snow and the rising darkness. So Koko got off the horse and went around searchingly. Then she could literally hear her heartbeat. A few yards ahead of her were traces of a fight, despite the fresh snow. Blood was spread over the ground. But what had caused her heartbeat to quicken was that she immediately recognized the gun lying in the snow. It was Adam's weapon.  
Trembling, she picked up the gun and looked at it. She had only calmed down a little when she looked around to realize what had happened here. She felt a sudden shiver as she noticed the traces of a cougar. Koko carefully followed the blood and footprints until they broke off suddenly. It was clear that it was going down a few yards. Her eyes wandered across the ground in front of her. She put her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out. In the snow lay not only the dead cougar but also Adam, who didn't move.

"Wynono? ..." Koko spoke softly to her friend as she knelt by his side and gently touched his head. "Wynono? .."  
Adam still smiled as he opened his eyes. Now time had come. The Great Spirit would come to take him home. He knew from Amarok that he showed up in many shapes when time had come to leave this world to go into another. With him he had appeared in the form of Koko. Only Adam's lips moved when he wanted to pronounce Koko's name. Koko exhaled relieved when Adam opened his eyes. "Wynono, you have to get up so I can take you home."  
The smile in his face grew bigger. Now he should have no problems to rise. Suffering, pain, disease no longer mattered. In the place where he was going now, he wouldn't feel or know anything about it. He pulled his legs to ... Adam's eyes grew wide as he raised his head and looked down at his body. His legs were still sprawled on the ground. They hadn't moved a bit. Desperately, he turned his head to Koko. At the same moment the cold and the pain in his back returned. "Koko?"

Koko tried to suppress the lump in her throat and to choke back the tears. She put her hand on his chest and bent down to lay her forehead against his. "I'm with you, Wynono. I'll take you home. Please stand up. It'll soon get really dark and much colder." 

Weakly he whispered to her. "I can't. My legs, ..." His eyes looked at her with a mixture of despair and fear. "... my back, ... Koko, ... I can't even feel them anymore."

Still forehead to forehead she continued to talk to him.  
"You don't have to worry. I'm with you and we'll find a way to get you home." 

"Go home, Koko. It's getting too cold to spend the night out here." 

"Look at me, Wynono." She had interrupted the body contact, now both hands placed on his cheeks and looking into his eyes. "We will only go home together. I won't leave you here alone. Wynono, in this weather it would be madness to ride to the farm in the dark. You know how fast you can lose your way in this area." 

"Koko, ... we won't survive this night out here."

"Then we will go together to the happy hunting grounds. I'LL STAY HERE WITH YOU." 

She hadn't spoken aloud but as she had said it, Adam wouldn't contradict her. So he just nodded. Koko also nodded to him and looked around. There was no place where she could build a night camp to protect themselves from snow and cold. She hadn't taken anything along that could help her. Only a blanket was on her horse but it wouldn't warm them very long. She could even forget about making a fire in this kind of weather. It wouldn't burn for long. "Wynono, do you think you can make it to the edge of the hill? I can also try to drag you there."

Adam's head turned to the hill. It wasn't that far. He gritted his teeth, turned onto his belly and crawled the few yards to the rocks. Koko had meanwhile got up, took the saddle and the blanket from her horse and then slapped it, so it trotted off. She was hopeful that it would find the way home. Hoss would then know that something must have happened and would begin to search when the next day dawned. With blanket and saddle she returned to Adam. Then she went to the few trees and cut off some branches. "Wynono, can you lie on the side, or is the pain too big then?" 

"It's all right."

They smiled at each other and both knew he hadn't told the truth. But they also knew that this way they could best provide warmth to each other. Koko put the branches on the rocks and on the ground. To protect themselves against the wind and get as much warmth as possible, she grabbed the cougar by the legs and pulled it to their small camp. Adam lay down so that he faced the rocks. After several attempts, she had placed the cougar in such a way that it was lying in their back. Koko spread the blanket over Adam and herself. Then she embraced the body of her friend with her arms and snuggled close to him. "Koko, ..."

She pressed her hand tighter to his chest when she heard the fear in his voice. "We will make it, Wynono." She could feel his breathing calming down. 

"I ... I don't want to be blamed for your death."

She laid her face close to his head. Tenderly, she gave him a kiss. "That won't happen and if so, we will both be one. I will never be without you and you will never be without me. We belong together beyond death."

For a long time, Adam was silent and felt the warmth of her body and how well it felt that she was with him. "Koko, how did you find me?" 

"The Great Spirit has ..." 

"Koko, ... the truth ..."

She didn't need to see Adam's face to know how he smiled. For twenty years he was now part of her life. In all those years, nothing and no one had shaken the love they had shared together. And just as she knew that something had happened today, she knew at that moment that they were going to surrender this night and their souls would be even more connected. "I've felt something's wrong. I didn't exactly know it was you but what I felt was that someone's in danger and that it wasn't Hoss. I have followed this feeling all this way."

His breathing became a little faster but very soon he calmed down again. "The weeping soul, ... Koko, ... I .. I always liked this story to explain the bond between us but .. I've never really believed in it ..." Two deep breaths later, he went on. "Til today, …. Koko, as I lay here on the ground, I was thinking of you. ... I had a feeling you were with me and I was no longer afraid. I didn't just imagine that, I felt you." 

They weren't talking any further. He put his hand on hers and pressed it gently to him.

Relieved, Koko looked up as daylight grew brighter. They had really made it. They had survived the night. Admittedly, she had to keep Adam from falling asleep but he hadn't stopped fighting. Not even when the fever started and he just wanted to sleep. At first, Koko was still wondering if she should look at the wounds that had been caused by the cougar but since she couldn't do anything about it anyway they remained tightly entangled. The positive aspect about Adam's condition was that due to the fever she no longer felt so cold.  
"Wynono, you listen to me?"

Quietly he muttered to himself. For some time he was talking less and his answers were only short. That's why Koko was glad the night was over. She had to get him home as quickly as possible. "I'll get up now and see how I will get you out of here." 

"So tired ..." 

She stroked his head again and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I know. Soon you can sleep."

Even if he was still warm by the fever, she wrapped the blanket around him and pushed the cougar close to his body. Then she stood up and wondered what to do. She could forget about building a travois. Even if she could do it without problems, she would never be able to pull Adam up the hill and all the way home. On foot, she would certainly need two to three hours in this weather. So she closed her eyes and asked the Great Spirit that her horse had found the way home and Hoss was already looking for her.

Her eyes opened and suddenly she asked herself whether Sport was still nearby. He never ran far away just like that. She walked the narrow path up to the place where Adam had fought with the cougar. Traces of Sport were no longer visible, of course and that Adam had been fighting here for his life yesterday either. Several times she called for his horse and searched the surrounding area for him. She was about to give up when she heard a faint neighing. Sport stood protected under a group of trees and it could clearly be seen how nervous he was. Cautiously Koko approached him and spoke calmly to him. After a while she could take the reins and lead him to Adam. Immediately she untied Adam's blanket from the saddle and put it over her friend. "I've found Sport. Now I can build a travois and he can take us home."

She swallowed when Adam didn't answer. He had lost the fight against fatigue. Now Koko had to hurry to finally get him off the cold ground. It was certainly two hours before she'd built a travois that could hold Adam's weight. Again and again she had looked at him anxiously. She had no idea how long he'd been lying in the snow yesterday until she'd found him but if it had been since the time she'd felt bad, it was far too long. Again, she spoke softly to Sport, hoping that he wasn't too nervous and he'd cope with the unfamiliar situation. Then she knelt to Adam and touched him by the shoulder to wake him. "Wynono, ... you have to open your eyes. We're going home now." 

Even after repeated shaking he didn't open his eyes. Koko had to mobilize her last failing strength to pull him onto the travois and then tie him onto it. She would have liked to mount the horse and would have ridden off but it was safer to take Sport on the reins. Not only did he still not like when others were riding him, he didn't even know how to pull someone behind him. As tense as he was a sudden move would probably be enough and he'd run away in panic. With a last look at Adam Koko started walking.

XXX

His arm lay on his forehead and he slowly opened his eyes, only to stare at the ceiling. Adam had been awake for some time but he couldn't really brace himself to get up. As it was still dark outside he didn't need to look at the clock to know that it was still very early in the morning. Today was again such a day he wished Koko would never have found him. In fact it would be a horrible day for him. Like on the weekends, he would need his entire strength to hide this anger in him. Anger at Kajika. Anger at himself that he had followed the tracks. Anger at his fate. After four weeks, he got the feeling back in the right leg but there was still nothing in the left leg. The shaman and Doc Martin always reassured him that it was only a matter of time before the feeling would return completely. Nothing was broken. He only had fallen very unluckily on the back. If the injuries there were properly healed, the feeling would also return in the legs. Everyone believed it, only he himself didn't. Soon after he had overcome fever he asked Hoss to place a bed in his office so he could sleep down here. He didn't want anybody to come up and carry him up and down the stairs. He also rejected help as often as possible. Which meant that the relationship between him and Bridget got very tense.  
Finally, he pulled himself together and sat down at the edge of the bed. He wanted to be ready before the children and Bridget came downstairs. Dressing was no longer a problem for him. He had quickly found ways of accomplishing that without anybody helping him. With an annoyed look, he pulled the chair closer to the edge and heaved over. Before he went out of the room, he looked again at the ceiling, wondering where the reason was that this had to happen. At the moment he couldn't recognize it.

He stood with his wheelchair in front of the fireplace and looked at the Christmas tree. Today wasn't only the first holiday but also the first birthday of George and Claire. Adam gritted his teeth. George had walked his first steps two days ago. His son wouldn't learn to walk and ride from him. He looked up as he heard Bridget get the children ready and exhorted them not to be so loud as not to wake him if he was still asleep. Adam clenched his fist. He knew exactly how much Bridget had to do to get the kids ready. Bernardo and Aiyana helped her but that shouldn't be their job and certainly not at Christmas. Normally, they would have been running down the stairs in joyful expectation, whether Santa Claus had been here at night. Adam took a deep breath and put on a smile when his family came down after some time and greeted him.


	93. Chapter 93

Bridget stood in the kitchen, breathing deeply and looking up at the mountains. Bernardo had just had told her that Adam didn't want to eat supper with them. It was early January and every day she found it harder to have patience with him. She wondered why they had talked so much about what they would do if the worst should happen in the time before the accident. If they already had these problems with each other, how would it be when it really should go wrong? He did make progress. The feeling in the right leg returned more and more. He had only to fight with the left, which wasn't surprising, because he had always had the most problems there. Even before the accident with the cougar. She bit her lower lip and went to the office.

Adam sat at the desk and looked thoughtfully at the papers in front of him. He didn't even notice how Bridget sat down in the chair in front of the table. She tried to talk to him calmly, even though she was quite upset.  
"Do you have so much to do that you cannot eat with us?" 

Adam slowly turned his gaze onto his wife, but to quickly, averted it again. "I've still got some more to do." 

"Staring at the table, of course, is more important than eating with your family."

Instantly Adam's head raised back up again. "You have no idea what's been left in the last few weeks." 

"I wasn't aware that I'm the reason, because I can't explain otherwise why you have to snap at me that way." 

Bridget could only shake her head when she saw Adam's cheekbones twitching but he wasn't ready to talk to her. "How long will it go on with us this way, Adam?"

Adam's eyes were even darker than usual. He leaned back without looking away from her. "Am I already a burden to you after less than two months?" 

Stunned Bridget looked at him. Today she wouldn't be provoked by him. "If you still need to think it over, in half an hour the meal will be ready. After that you have to prepare something yourself but that shouldn't be a problem for you." 

Bridget rose and without looking at him again, she left the office. Angrily Adam hit the armrest with his hand and cursed under his breath. Then he leaned forward, his elbows propped on the table and his palms in front of his eyes. Once again he was annoyed that he vented his anger on her. Why couldn't he tell her how he felt? What his fears were? He had promised her not to exclude her again. Looking at the ceiling, he leaned back and only went to bed late at night.

XXX

Koko didn't have to search for long. As Bridget had said, Adam stayed in his office most of the time and when he wasn't there, he was out looking up at the mountains. She knocked on the door frame but didn't wait for an answer. "Hello, Wynono. I have brought you a new jar with your ointment. There shouldn't be much left in your old one." 

"I still have enough."

Like Bridget the day before, she sat down in the chair and then looked at him appraisingly. "If you slather your back every day, you shouldn't have much left." 

He took a letter and didn't pay much attention to Koko. "You can put it in the kitchen." 

Gently and almost imperceptibly Koko nodded. Then she looked around the office. "You've really made yourself comfortable here." 

He still didn't look at her. "Don't you have anything to do at the farm?"

"Nope." 

Not only in his eyes Koko could see the wrong wolf, even in the voice of her friend, it could clearly be heard. "But I have to work and have no time to help you pass your time. You can check if Bridget might drink tea with you and talk about such important things as the weather." 

It was just a hiss but Adam understood Koko very well. "Stop that, Wynono." 

His voice, too, wasn't much louder as he leaned toward her and replied. "Why don't you just leave? You've helped me more than enough!"

Both of them leaned their arms on the table and stared at each other. "What's your problem, Wynono? We made it through the night in the cold. Your injuries weren't so bad. You've been incredibly lucky and yet you're biting at anyone who wants to help you."

"Yes, how lucky I am that you found me! I will be eternally grateful to you for sitting the rest of my life here in this chair! How did you say? At thirty, I've reached all my goals!"

Koko couldn't prevent from leaning back when Adam yelled at her. "What a wonderful destination! That's exactly how I imagined my life!"

It couldn't be any clearer. Adam was out for an argument. To vent his anger finally at someone and Koko had to mobilize all her strength not to take issue with him. She took a deep breath and stood up to bend over the table. "Don't you tell me that you would have preferred if I hadn't found you and you had died that night!" 

"Better than this life." 

For confirmation he slammed the wheelchair with his hand.

"Then stop to feel sorry for yourself and start fighting." 

"What for? You know very well that there's no point. Even if I get out of the chair now I cannot escape my fate."

That he was surprised by her outburst she could see, as he raised his eyebrows and held his breath in amazement. "Who do you think you are that you already know your fate? Are you the incarnation of the Great Spirit that you are so wise now? Should I get your gun so you can blow your brains out? Just because you don't want to admit that you are afraid of not having control over everything? That you depend on others? That you aren't the one who determines your life? No one knows his fate, but it's great to use it as an excuse, if you are cowardly and so foolish to think, others will believe you."

It took him some time to answer her. "You forgot something. I'm lazy as well." 

"I see that we understand each other. Yes, I could say you're too lazy to do your exercises." 

"Maybe it's better if you leave now." 

She didn't move but kept eye contact with him. "Why? Because you cannot stand when someone tells you the truth?" 

"Koko, go get your herbs and cook a tea, then you'll calm down again."

It was Adam who broke the eye contact then looked out the window. Koko would have liked to give him a resounding slap but she didn't want to do him this favor. She knew his arrogant and overbearing nature exactly and what he wanted to achieve. "Wynono, you're right. You won't have reached your goals at thirty. You are going to be a lonely and very bitter man."  
Without waiting for his answer, she left the house.

XXX

He couldn't tell how long he'd just stared out of the window. The anger in him was getting bigger and he wasn't able to do anything about it. Or didn't he want to? He would have liked to cry out all his emotions but as usual, he wasn't able to do so. He would have liked to take Bridget in his arms and let his feelings go wild. Adam realized that he had eaten and drunk far too little and as Bridget studiously avoided him since yesterday, he needn't to ask her if she would prepare something for him. With a deep breath he turned the wheelchair and went to the kitchen. He was a little surprised that there was a pot of fresh coffee on the table. He stood close to the cupboard and opened the door to get a cup. As the cups stood very high, he stood up but he still hadn't enough strength to move his weight to his right leg. He had his fingertips already on the cup, when he couldn't hold on any longer and slumped back into the chair. The cup fell to the ground and broke. As already several times in recent days he cursed out loudly.  
"If Pa had heard that, he would have gone to the barn with you." 

"What are you doing here?"

Surprised at his sharp tone, he looked at Winona in amazement. His sister tilted her head and looked at him. "Is that the wrong wolf in you who's talking to me right now?" 

He couldn't look into her eyes any longer. He leaned back, clenching his hand into a fist and closed his eyes. "Sorry, sunshine."

She took a step toward him and put her hand on his fist. "Why are you so angry? Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to tell you something."

A cold chill ran through him as he heard and understood her words. In all these years he had vowed never to be like his father. Never in his rage and pain to hurt others with his deeds and his words but in the last few weeks he was no better than him. So he opened his fist, took her hand and held it. "You didn't do anything wrong and I'm glad you've come to visit me."

Since he had opened his eyes again she looked at him for a while before she talked to him. "You're not telling the truth." 

"The truth isn't always easy to understand." 

Sarah's eyes wandered to her hand, still held by Adam. "You are angry and Bridget is sad. Why?"

Adam couldn't prevent his heart beating faster. It was easy to argue with Bridget or Koko and vent all his negative feelings on them but he couldn't do that with Sarah. "I'm just a little dissatisfied." 

"Because you cannot walk yet?"

He couldn't clench his teeth so hard as his emotional world whirled at the moment. "Sunshine, I'll never be able to walk again." 

Surprised, Sarah frowned. "Why shouldn't you?" 

"Because it won't work anymore."

Sarah pulled her hand away and put her hands akimbo. "So the shaman is right. You've lost faith in the Great Spirit and surrender to the wrong wolf. You choose the easy way." 

Again he closed his hand to a fist and he couldn't look at his sister any longer. His breathing became faster and he leaned his head back. "There are things you cannot understand, Sarah."

Now it was Sarah, who clenched her teeth and was trying to fight back tears. She knew from Aiyana that her brother hadn't been doing so well since the accident and he had started giving up. But that he really had to feel pretty bad she realized, when he addressed her with Sarah. He'd never done that in all of the years, even if she had been up to some nonsense and he hadn't been pleased. "Yes, I still don't understand everything and I have to learn a lot but what I understand is that you want to tell me that everything you've taught me so far is wrong. Thus, it's also wrong to be friends with the Gosiute? Mustn't Aiyana go to the village again so she forgets where she descended from? Because, it's wrong."

Adam had closed his fist so tightly that his knuckles went white. "You once told me that all animals have powers, because the Great Spirit dwells in all of us. Also in the small ant, in a butterfly, in a tree, in a flower and in a rock. Thus, he was also in the cougar, who attacked you. There will be a reason why this had to happen and just because you don't understand it yet, you can't say right now, everything so far was wrong." 

The fist still tightly closed, Adam now spoke very quietly. "No ..., it's not all wrong and I will continue to believe what has been with me all the years but I want to be able to walk again."

He turned his gaze back to his sister. "I cannot put up with living in this chair, Winona."

"And then why do you allow this rage?" 

At first, she lowered her arms, then carefully clasped her hand on his fist. "The shaman says the anger in you is so strong that it prevents you from walking again." 

"No, that I don't have any feeling in my leg, makes this rage so strong." 

With her little hand, Sarah embraced Adam's fist. "Why are you making a fist, Wynono?" 

"Because I'm so angry." 

"Can you move your fingers now?"

For the first time since she was here, he smiled. "Of course not." 

She stroked his fist, then took his fingers to open his hand again. "Now your hand is relaxed and you can move your fingers again and so it will be with your leg." 

Adam's smile widened. "It's not that simple, little sunshine." 

"Yes, it is. That's what the shaman says." 

"When did you talk to him?"

Now it was Sarah, who smiled all over her face. "I have been able to spend the last weekend with him. That's why I'm here. To tell you about it and show you something."

She took a bag from her belt and gave it to her brother. "I should make my own medicine bag and the shaman told me what I should always have with me to deal with minor injuries. In the evening we went into the forest and I had to look for the right things for my medicine bag."

Adam crossed the bag with his thumb. He couldn't hide how proud he was of his little sister. Then his gaze became serious again, as he returned her bag. "And then did you talk about me?"

Nodding, she tied the bag back to her belt. "I wanted to understand why you cannot walk and he told me this with the fist. That your whole body is clenched like your hand, so your back cannot relax and your legs cannot move."

She went to the table and took some leaves out of the basket she had brought. "I shall give you these leaves. They should help your back so it's not a fist anymore."

Immediately Adam pushed away her hand with the leaves and looked at her kindly. "You know I won't take any leaves if I can avoid it."  
Laughing, she held out the leaves again. "That's what the shaman said. That you don't want them because you're not always the strong warrior. But I should tell you that these leaves are different. So that you too can take them. They shouldn't take your pain but open the fist."

Expectantly, she looked at him and waited for what he was going to do. Adam still hesitated. It wasn't only the side effects of the leaves that prevented him from taking them from his sister. There were also the many questions that he just asked himself. What was the real reason that he had this rage? Why was it still hard for him to trust Bridget and accept her help? Why was this fear in him always so great that he pushed away all those who loved him and wanted to help him? And then he knew. If he wanted to have answers to all these questions, then the first step was to get out of this chair and to go back to the road of his life. So he took the leaves from his sister and at the same time drew her close to him and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, my sunshine. I'm grateful to the Great Spirit for your presence." 

She grinned from ear to ear. "I love you too, Wynono."

XXX

Jenkins closed the window and returned to the teacher's desk. There he packed his books into his saddle bag and raised his head in surprise as he heard the door open. The lessons had been over for an hour and he had no appointment with any of the parents. He tilted his head slightly, wondering whose mother it was that closed the door behind her. But then he didn't need another look to know who she was. All his hackles raised and he immediately felt the bad wolf going into position. That she was here in Virginia City could only mean that there would be trouble ahead. He couldn't imagine another reason why she was here. Now he knew who this unknown woman was who had always wanted to get closer to Sally last year. Already that told him that this wouldn't be a friend's visit.

"Hello Simon." 

She took off her gloves and smiled at him.  
"What do you want?" 

Still smiling, she walked up to him. "There was a time when you welcomed me more kindly." 

She went to kiss him on the cheek but he took a step back and stood behind the table.  
"Mara, what do you want here? And don't tell me you've suddenly developed maternal feelings."

Innocently she looked at him. "Maybe I'm aware now how much I love you and I regret my mistake." 

Jenkins laughed out loud. "Please, Mara, stop it. We're not eighteen anymore. At that time I would have believed you. Today, I know you were only with me because I got along so well with your father."

"Yes, you're right, we're not eighteen anymore and today I see things differently. I shouldn't have left you and certainly ..." She took a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed slightly over her left eye. "... I shouldn't have left you alone with Sally."

Jenkins leaned over the table and looked at her angrily. "Stop fussing around! You don't need to pull on my heartstrings either. What happened? Have you still found no man and your father has carried out his threat? You only inherit the ranch when you have a family?" 

Her eyes flashed and he could see a twitch. This was the only reaction to his words but he knew quite well that he had nailed it. Back then her father had already told him that this was his conditions if she was to inherit the ranch. He wanted to make sure that he could still see in his lifetime who would take over his ranch. If she wasn't married and having children until his death he had ruled that the property should be sold because in his eyes a woman couldn't manage the business of a ranch.

Quickly, however, she had regained her composure again and touched him with her hand on the cheek. "Simon, did you never make a mistake? We both had a great time together."

Slowly he straightened up again. She was visibly confused when he started grinning. "Oh yeah, we both had a great time together and the most beautiful gift you could give me was that you left and left Sally with me. And now I ask you to go, for I still have the blood of a Native Indian in me but not the feelings that you hoped for. Besides, you're too late. I'm happily married and we expect our first child in Summer. There's no place for you in our lives."

He couldn't look as fast as Mara's facial features changed. She glanced at him furiously. "You're still as cocksure of yourself as before and as always you are right. I didn't love you for a second but my father would have liked you to be his son-in-law because you both could talk about horses for hours and hours. I would have put up with you but I couldn't bear the thought of holding a child in my arms in which one could possibly recognize immediately that I got involved with a man who belongs to this filthy pack."

"Go!" 

Actually, Mara should have been frightened, so threatening was Jenkins' voice but she smiled at him arrogantly and put on her gloves. "I don't need you to reach my goals. You won't be able to prevent me from telling Sally that I AM her mother and I'm sure she will want to spend the next few years with me."

"I doubt that. My daughter is too intelligent to fall for you." 

"You'll see. I'll get to my heir and if I have to get you out of the way then so be it." She took a step closer to him. "... For everyone will understand that my own flesh and blood mustn't grow up among savages." 

Grinning, she left the school and Jenkins slammed his fist on the table.

XXX

There were only three weeks to go before they would start with the preparations for the round up. He had really managed to get back on his feet so far that he could go to the camp. He still had some problems when he sat in the saddle all day and breaking a horse, he would probably be able in May at the earliest.

He was still grateful to his sister that she had shaken him up in January. If he had surrendered to his anger, he wouldn't only have lost his pride. That same day, he had apologized to Bridget and talked to her. Even though it was difficult for him, he had told her about his fears and why he had behaved that way. It was obvious that Bridget couldn't easily forgive him. Once again he had hurt her with his behavior. She could understand his fears but not that he had excluded her from them despite their many talks. It could still be felt that she hadn't come to terms with the weeks after the accident. Adam was only grateful that their love for each other was so strong and they both tried to rebuild the lost trust.

It had been just as difficult for him to apologize to Koko. She had come back two days after he had thrown her out. Koko had been looking at him for a very long time, not saying a word, which Adam felt was particularly bad. She had risked her life to save his and as usual, it had been easier for him to build a wall around him than to talk about his feelings.

For his family he hoped that he would never forget this time and wouldn't get lost again. Prior to the roundup, he definitely wanted to go back to his mountain. He asked the Great Spirit that this year would be a bit calmer and he wouldn't have to fight with a great number of obstacles. He took a deep breath and looked forward to this evening. He hoped that Hoss would be happy about his spontaneous visit. He passed the path along the creek as he saw Jenkins sitting down at the rocks. He rode the short distance to the water and got out of the saddle. Smiling, he sat next to Sally's father. "Have you been thrown out and living here for days?" 

"No ..." He had to laugh just like Adam, because he knew exactly how he looked. "I've borrowed your mountain for three days and I'm just back." 

"Oh, so that's the reason that on Friday the lessons had been cancelled?"

His lips tightened, Jenkins nodded at his friend. "The bad wolf was so strong that I would certainly have stayed for a few days with Tom if I had been in town on Friday and that's an experience that I really didn't want to repeat that soon." 

Only Adam's eyebrow rose and he glanced at Jenkins, who looked at him the same way from the side. "And those days weren't enough? You still don't dare to go home?"

Again Jenkins laughed. "No, don't worry, with Pelipa and me everything's fine ..." He breathed deeply and looked at the water before he continued to speak. "... Sally's mother came to school on Thursday." 

"Oh, ... a friend's visit?" 

"Certainly not. She has rediscovered her maternal feelings." 

Adam now turned to his friend and became serious. "Why is she here, Jenks?" 

Softly, he laughed. "Money." 

"Money?"

"Her father and she have never been able to develop a proper relationship. She was the daughter of another man but it was the only child he and his wife had. Very early, he had decided that she would only get his inheritance if she had a family and a man by her side who thought like him. I've worked with him and got along very well with him but at that time, Mara's greed for money wasn't so strong that she'd accepted me and my past. But something must have happened because after she has ascertained that I don't fall for her beautiful eyes right away, she's now trying to get to Sally."

"Did you tell Sally about her?" 

"On Thursday, before I rode to the mountain, I talked to her." His eyes were turned to the water again. "I don't have to worry about her packing her bags and leaving with her. Mara has tried to contact her and the small tribe several times last year but she didn't leave a good impression. I'm more afraid of what she'll do if she doesn't achieve her goals."

Softly Adam let out a whistle. "Do you think she'll hurt Sally?" 

"No. I assume not. I worry more about the wrong wolf in me." 

Shortly their eyes met and both began to smile. "You know, Jenks, I like the wrong wolf. It sounds better than to say I've got such anger inside that I've got to beat the living daylights out of somebody." 

"That's also very nice. I'd say something different." 

Grinning, both looked at the water and fell silent. Then Jenkins took a little pipe out of his pocket and held it to Adam questioningly. "How does it look? Do you still have some time left? We both have never smoked together."

Wide-eyed Adam looked at the small pipe. Amarok wanted to show him how he could build his own pipe and smoke a little when he was on the mountain so that it would be easier for him to experience a vision trip. Amazed, Jenkins looked at him as he got up and took a bottle from his saddle-bag. Then he sat down again on the rocks. "I prefer a good sip. Actually, I wanted to surprise Hoss with the bottle but I would also like to spend the evening here with you."

"Well, ..." Jenkins scratched his chin embarrassed. "I avoid drinking beer and whiskey. I'm more like my grandfather. " 

"And I'm ..." Adam pointed to the pipe. "... more like our kids." 

Jenkins looked at the pipe and then at the bottle of whiskey. "Then we share. I only drink a few sips from your bottle and you only take a few puffs. The content of my pipe will differ considerably from what the children had at that time."

Adam's face was still very skeptical when he thought of the side effects. "It's not just that I have problems with my stomach, I also forget what I did in the hours after."

Laughing Jenkins put an arm around Adam. "You can trust me. I smoked my first pipe at the age of six. I can remember exactly what I always do after. I'll get you home if you can't find the way."

Seeing Adam still hesitating, he took the bottle from his hand, opened it and took a big sip. "You have to face your fears and when you're ready, we can talk about your wall." 

Grinning, he stuffed some leaves and herbs from a small bag into the pipe and lit it.

"This isn't your first pipe that you're smoking today?" 

Jenkins took a few puffs and then passed it on to Adam. "No, it's my second. Since I've found again my inner peace on our trail, I started to use it again." 

Adam took the pipe very hesitantly but then he told himself that two puffs wouldn't suffice to lose control again. That he was wrong, he was actually aware after the first strong puff and Bridget told him later that it should have been clear to him that Jenkins smoked much stronger herbs than Amarok. Amarok was always mindful that he was a white man and had no experience with it. After the second puff, nothing mattered any longer for Adam and the mixture of whiskey and pipe quickly made sure that they wouldn't end the evening when it was already getting dark.  
"I can tell you why you doubted so much about the Great Spirit and you after the attack of the cougar." 

They sat leaning against the rocks and while Adam took another puff from the pipe, he looked to the stars. "You mean, you can give me an answer to all my questions and I don't need to go to my mountain anymore?"

Jenkins smacked his half-emptied bottle against Adam's chest. "You're just too tense and take everything too seriously. You're more Indian than all the Indians together." Now he hit him against his belly. "You must allow more emotions. Fly by the seats of your pants and, Wynono ..." He held his index finger to Adam's nose. "... there's nothing better than to be consoled by a woman and you even have two who care about you." Jenkins laughed loudly, his head reclined. "Well, I can imagine something worse. I'd pour out my heart to them every weekend."

Adam had looked down as Jenkins slapped him but now Adams gaze was back at the stars. "But it's not so easy to admit feelings. Every time I did, something happened that I thought was my fault. Even in the matter of the cougar I am to blame myself. It was madness to follow the tracks alone and that in this kind of weather. And if I hadn't been friends with Koko, I would never have been in the focus of Kajika."

Adam fell slightly to one side, as Jenkins hit him heftily at his arm. "That's exactly what I mean, Wynono. How can you worry about that? What's done is done. Why did your parents fall in love back then? Why is the sun rising every day? Why did the Great Spirit mean to create this world? Do you have an answer?" 

"No. How can I ..." He held Jenkins's pipe. "... your herb's finished."

"Even with this you will never be able to answer these questions. What happens just happens and it's a waste of time to worry about it. Enjoy the moment and find your happiness here. "

Jenkins touched his heart.  
Now Adam laughed as loud as Jenkins had never seen before. "Well, a year ago, you were talking differently and you'd have shot anyone who had it in for you." 

Jenkins got up and held out his hand to Adam. "Let's get supplies." 

Adam let himself be pulled up, then held onto the arm of Sally's father as the ground beneath him seemed to waver. "Jenks, I doubt I'm able to get home." 

Grinning, Jenkins went to the horses, unsaddled them, turned around and suddenly howled like a wolf. Not only Adam was frightened, the horses also spooked and ran off. With one hand on the thigh, Jenkins laughed again. He pointed to the sky with the other. Adam's eyes followed this hand with surprise. "Wynono, we have full moon. We can let the wrong wolf howl."

Jenks straightened and in passing he slapped Adam on his back. "The perfect night to find the best stuff for smoking." 

Softly howling, Adam followed Sally's father.

XXX

They flinched when they heard a noise in the forest behind. They turned around and looked surprised at the shaman who emerged from the bushes. "Hok'ee, ... Wynono, do you both use the full moon to collect the right herbs and leaves?"

Grinning, Jenkins held up his little bag. "We've already found everything we need for tonight." 

The shaman stood close to the two men, looked into their eyes and began to smile. "You've already used the full moon for you. Wynono, then you can help me, as you did then. Now that you have defeated your fear this night."

Jenkins looked at Adam questioningly. But Adam just shrugged. Then Jenkins and Adam went after the shaman, who went deeper into the forest.

XXX

"Could we take a smaller one this time?" 

Somehow tormented Jenkins looked at Adam. "You're not afraid of snakes, Jenks?" 

"I don't have the snake as my totem." 

Courageously, Adam grabbed the snake behind its head and then pressed it on the jar that the shaman had given him. "You just need to know how to hold it properly. Then nothing can happen."

"How often do you go with the shaman to collect snake venom?" 

Now Adam stopped in movement and thought about it. He carefully put the snake away when he had enough poison and turned back to Jenkins. "Honestly, I don't know exactly. Actually, I cannot recall that I've done it before." 

"But you do it very well."

Now the shaman came to their side and smiled at Adam. "Wynono has accompanied me a few years ago and it was a very enlighting night for him." 

Again, Adam shrugged and handed the shaman the jar with the poison.

"By your help we are ready early. I don't need more. Now we can still use the time and the full moon to speak with the Great Spirit." 

The three men went to the nearby mountains and sat down on a plateau. Jenkins handed Adam the pipe, which he had previously filled with the freshly collected herbs.

XX

Even three weeks later, Adam was struggling with the aftermath of the night with Jenkins. As with his first experience with this kind of vision trip, he didn't know how he had come home, nor what had happened during the night. The first thing he remembered was that he was lying on the settee in his living room. Bridget stood there in front of him, shaking her head. She then told him that Rusty had come home with Sport late in the evening. In the beginning, she was still worried that something might have happened. But since she knew that he had been on his way to Hoss with a bottle of whiskey, she already assumed that it hadn't been just one glass. That he had spent the night with Jenkins, she hadn't expected at all.

He had needed two days to be more or less approachable again. He was only relieved that Jenkins was with him that night and could tell him what they had done. The positive thing for him from that night was that he now knew what he had done in the missing hours back then, on the other hand he shuddered thinking of snakes.

Adam was on his way home for dinner. Already at the word "food" he immediately laid his hand on his belly. He could take in a little but only in moderation. Whatever they had smoked, it wasn't only much stronger but much too much. The whiskey had certainly finished him off. Adam just hoped that after the roundup he'd have come through the whole thing. In addition, he now hadn't just to listen to Amarok's comments about his sensitive stomach. Jenkins rubbed it in as well. That Pelipas husband was used to smoking was to note by the fact that he had been at school in time the next day and had no problems teaching. Adam inhaled deeply the fresh spring air and a small smile crossed his lips. After the roundup, he would travel to San Francisco with Bridget for his birthday. Only them both alone. At first, Bridget still hesitated when Adam had talked to her about it. She was a bit unsure whether she could leave the children alone for so long but not only her mother encouraged her to not worry about it. There were enough members of the family who would like to take care of the children. Just after what had happened last year and in Winter, she should enjoy the time with Adam in San Francisco.

Adam had had no problems with leaving the children at home. For what he needed some time to get aquainted with, was the thought that Little Joe would take care of his house and animals in those two weeks. When Aiyana asked if she could stay with Bernardo at Joe, immediately all possible scenarios run through his head, what might happen to his house and the land. In the end, he had agreed that Joe was allowed to live in his house but in no case with the two children. Although Aiyana always thought hard about before she was up to something and didn't act as impulsive as Little Joe, rarely anything good came out when she and her small tribe were active. And the mixture Aiyana and Little Joe for two weeks alone, without a further supervision, he didn't expect Nevada to put up with.

Adam got out of the saddle and tied Sport. His smile grew and it made him feel warm all over when he heard the children's voices from his house. Once again, he had to learn in a very harsh and painful way to be grateful for what he had. Even though he would still not be able to show what he felt and how it looked inside of him, he tried to tell Bridget as often as possible, or to show her what touched him. For a few days she had already rolled her eyes when she saw his gaze. But even today he would tell her that he didn't get along with the pain that the sun disappeared behind the mountains and he desperately needed her help to cope with this loss.  
Grinning, he gave Sport a slap and opened the front door.


	94. Chapter 94

Bridget lay on the blanket next to Adam and looked into the sky. "Shouldn't we gradually go back to the kids?"

Adam bent over her and gave her a kiss. Then he stayed leaning on his elbow and smiled at her affectionately. He had just looked over at the others. It was Sunday and they had used the first real warm days to meet spontaneously with the entire family at the lake for a picnic. "They are so well cared for by their grandparents that we shouldn't interfere. Besides, it's good preparation for them when we leave in two days." 

"Don't remind me of that. I still have to pack so much and not just for us. I also have to pack the bags for the twins and for Emilie. Then I have to write down what medicine Chesmu should get if he catches a cold again and not to forg... "

She didn't get any further because Adam kissed her again. "We'll be back in three weeks at the latest and we're not leaving the kids here for the first time."

"Yes, but it's for the first time we leave them here for so long. I don't worry about the big ones either but Chesmu is so attached to you. Whenever you are on the trail he sleeps badly and is in poor health, and now we'll both be gone. Emilie is constantly trying to take Púŋka to her bed and since George and Claire can walk, nothing is safe from them." She paused briefly and looked at him startled. "Have you bought the tickets for the coach?"

Meanwhile, Adam had taken his guitar, leaned against the fallen tree trunk and began to play gently, looking at her with a mischievous grin. 

"Adam."

Even when she tried to look at him indignantly, she couldn't hide a smile. "How can you be so calm? Don't you have to prepare some things before we go? Did you talk to your father about everything and as well to Frederic?"

"Bridget, when I'm on the trail in the Summer, everything isn't going to fall apart and I'm away much longer. My father knows how to lead a ranch and for your brother ... "

He looked past her at Frederic, who was sitting with Ben, talking to him. Probably they were both upset by the fact that Adam really wanted to leave. Frederic and Ben didn't talk about anything else in the last few days, especially saying that it would be a completely inappropriate time to go on holiday. Especially because Adam refused to say where they would live in San Francisco. He had only said it to Emillia and Cholette and both had promised to keep it to themselves and only to contact him if there should be anything with the kids. They had understood how important it was for him to spend these days with Bridget alone.

"... I've got a smart young man in support. He won't mix up the mountains, as for the tickets I've bought them already two weeks ago."  
He briefly interrupted his playing and put his arms on the guitar. "Bridget, I won't catch the hustle and bustle of my father and your brother. I'm going to spend the next weeks with you in San Francisco and won't think about the Ponderosa or the company for a minute and ..." He began to grin. "... you don't need much to pack. What I need is sitting right in front of me." 

Silently, they looked at each other, then Bridget leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

XXXX

Ben rolled his eyes as he looked at Adam. "Frederic, couldn't you talk some sense into his mind? Why don't they leave in fall when most of the work is done?" 

Frederic shrugged and looked at his sister and Adam. "You know Adam. If he has set his mind on something he sticks to it. I gave up but what annoys me more is that he refuses to tell me where I can reach him in case of emergency. You know something more precise, Ben?" 

His eyes still on his son and his daughter-in-law, Ben shook his head. "No. He only said to me when something happens that makes it necessary for him to know about, the Great Spirit would tell him."

Horrified, Frederic looked at him. "Was he smoking again with Amarok or Jenkins? As calm as he is at the moment, I've got the impression that he visits the two daily." 

Growling like a bear Ben looked away from his son. "This is an issue I don't want to expand upon, because I'm glad we have a teacher with whom there are, as it looks, no problems. Even though I cannot approve everything he does in his spare time."

Since Frederic had promised his wife not to get excited about Adam, he changed the subject. "Ben, I'd like to come to see you tomorrow morning to talk about a new timber supply." 

Ben took a deep breath. "Do so, I'll be at the Ponderosa and I'll work through all the paperwork. I only have tomorrow to ask my son in case I cannot understand something."

XXX

"I don't believe they scream!" 

Riccardo tried not to roll his eyes. He liked Bernardo but now and then it was a bit tiring with him because he was always afraid that he would get into trouble if they were up to some mischief. But in the next few weeks, when his cousin lived with him, he would teach him that getting up to nonsense was a big part of growing up. "Little Joe said all the girls scream when you throw a toad at their feet."

Both boys went along the bank and looked into the bushes and under the stones to see if they could find some toads there. "But not Aiyana and Sarah!" 

"Of course not ..." Riccardo began to grin. "... but Sophie and Neisha." 

Bernardo stopped moving. "Grandpa Ben will yell."

"So what? But the girls will scream."

Riccardo continued with a wide grin and Bernardo followed him. "And next week we'll sneak into the mountains instead of going to school." 

"QUÉ?"

The eyes of Bernardo went so wide that Frederic's son had to laugh out loud. "We're going to skip school next week to see how Amarok's warriors catch wild horses for Hoss." 

"We not can skip school." 

"Of course we can. Because you live with us, it won't be noticeable. We just say we had to help at the ranch. " 

"LIE?" 

"Bernardo, don't scream!"

Riccardo looked frantically over his shoulder to see if anyone had noticed Bernardo's reaction. He looked back at his cousin, relieved. "Come on, Bernardo. What could happen? If someone will get into trouble, then it will only be me, my father will certainly not go to the barn with you because he knows that Uncle Adam wouldn't forgive him."

As he was doubtful what to say and do, Bernardo looked down at his feet. It wasn't that he wouldn't like to see how the Gosiute caught the horses but he didn't want to disappoint his father either. He was still grateful to his parents for taking him in, so he had sworn to never give them any reason to regret that decision. Before he could think about it, he got a blow in the side by Riccardo.

"There's a real big one!" 

He hadn't yet finished the sentence, as he had already grabbed the toad and looked for the two girls.

XXX

Sarah and Aiyana sat on a log that lay half in the lake and threw small stones into the water. "Why do you rather want to live with Sally for the next few weeks than with us?" 

"Are you mad at me?"

Sarah threw a bigger stone into the water and counted the rings that could be seen on the surface. "I'm not mad. Just a bit sad. I had already imagined so beautifully what fun we would have." 

"I've been thinking for a long time, because I've already thought you'd be happy if I lived with you in the next few weeks but I wanted to ..." 

It didn't happen often that Aiyana looked sad or so ... lonely. Worried Sarah turned to her. "Aiyana, what's the matter with you?"

The remaining stones, which Adam's daughter had in her hand, were thrown all into the water at once. At first she hesitated but then she turned to Sarah. "I don't know if you can understand it. ... Even though I'm often in the village, I find it increasingly difficult to remember the time with my real parents and the rituals we had. I hope, when I live with Pelipa and Simon, they can tell me more about my culture, especially Pelipa, because she knew my parents. Winona, I'm afraid to forget them completely."

The two girls looked into each others eyes then Sarah took her in her arms and held her tightly. When Sarah let go, she spontaneously came up with an idea. "Aiyana, why don't you talk to Bridget?" 

Aiyana frowned. "Ma?" 

"Yes, she can draw so well. If you tell her how your parents looked she can surely paint a picture of them and then you won't forget them." 

"Do you think she would?"

"Of course. It's as important to her as to Wynono that Chesmu and you never forget where you were born and who your tribe was. Why else would they have bought the land so that no one can settle there?" 

Aiyana looked at Adam and Bridget and her smile began to return. "I'll do that as soon as they get back. Thank you, ..." Now she smiled again and it turned slowly into a fat grin. "... Aunt Sarah." 

Instantly, Aiyana stood up, knowing how much Sarah was annoyed when she addressed her this way. Both girls, however, stopped when they heard a wild scream and saw Sophie and Neisha run away from Bernardo and Riccardo.

XX

Little Joe rubbed his hands as he saw the coach leaving Virginia City. He had driven his brother and Bridget to town and should still do some shopping. For almost three weeks he would take care of Adam's house. His parents would surely check now and then and see how he got on. At dinner he would be at the Ponderosa but otherwise ...? If he showed them in the first few days that they could rely on him, they would certainly reduce their control visits to a minimum. After that, he could also invite one of his friends in the evening.

Just as he was about into jump on the carriage, he saw Dianne walking along on the street. After the disaster on his eighteenth birthday, they had hardly talked to each other. But after so many months she couldn't really be still so angry that she wouldn't talk to him. So he ran across the street and with a loving smile he stood in her way.

"Hello, Dianne." 

"Hello, Joseph."

She looked at him briefly and then went on. He immediately followed her, trying to keep her as friendly as possible. "How are you?" 

Without stopping, she answered. "Fine." 

Little Joe didn't want to give up and so he went next to her. "I thought we could do something together again." 

She stopped so abruptly that Joe had to walk a few steps back. "Don't any of your other girlfriends have time for you at the moment?"

"Dianne, ..."

He scratched the back of his head and glanced at her from below with a slightly lowered head. "I've changed, …. I haven't met any other girls for a long time." 

He hoped she would believe him. Of course he could have asked one of his girlfriends right away if they wanted to go dancing with him. But he hadn't had time in the last few weeks to go to town on the weekends and who knows, if Dianne finally knew where he lived at the moment she would go out with him again. 

"Joe, ... I believed you too often."

Satisfied, Joe noticed that Dianne was no longer so angry. So he took her hand and looked at her as innocently as possible.

"Dianne, I know I've always screwed things up a lot but I'm no longer a little boy. As a matter of fact I now have the responsibility for the Ponderosa as long as my brother's in San Francisco. He even trusted me so much that I'm taking care of his house. You know him. He wouldn't do that so easily."

It was clear to see how impressed she was by Joe's words. "I can hardly believe that. YOU have the responsibility for the ranch?" 

Little Joe straightened up and took a deep breath, so his chest looked stronger. "My brother still has his company and the construction of the railway line. It's quite possible that one day he won't have the time to work for the Ponderosa any longer. Then I have to be ready to take over and thus the next few weeks are a good exercise for me to show that I'm able to do it any time."

He was still holding Dianne's hand. "And, do you want to visit me in my house next week?" 

Now Dianne couldn't help laughing. "Your house?" 

"Well, who knows, ..." Joe chuckled. "... you know my brother and how important the Gosiute are to him. May well be that he moves into the village with his family, then I'm going to live in his house. And if not, my house will be even more beautiful than his."

"I don't know Joe, .. my father .." 

"Just tell him you're going to visit Lisa. He will surely believe you and he will certainly not ask her if you have actually been with her." 

She still hesitated a little but when he looked at her so dearly, they arranged to meet the next week. Satisfied with himself and the world, Joe went back to the carriage.

XX

The waiter asked her if he could serve breakfast on the terrace. Bridget asked him to wait another ten minutes when she looked at Adam, who was already sitting outside. They had been in San Francisco for four days and it had been wonderful days so far. As Adam had promised, he hadn't even thought of the Ponderosa or the company. He hadn't made a single appointment with any of their business partners. But as he sat on the terrace looking out at the sea she knew that he was already brooding about something. Bridget was standing at the door leading outside thinking of the last few months. There was a moment when she had seriously thought about just packing her bags and walking away but the conversations with Koko had helped her get over the hard time in Winter. Especially her last conversation had given her a different view of things. Throughout the years, she had never been able to understand one of Adam's wisdoms but for two months it helped her to get along better with him and his wall.

'If you've realized a problem and don't contribute to solve the problem, you'll be a part of the problem.'  
She'd told Adam once she couldn't live with the wall but she had already met him with that wall. She had realized one thing, however hard he would try, this wall would always be a part of him. He would never be able to get rid of it, even if he tried again and again. The wall helped him to deal with all the responsibility which for the most part he always imposed on himself. She had to be aware that if he excluded her, he wouldn't do it because he wanted to hurt her. He just couldn't help it. It was his way of dealing with his feelings. She could only try to reach out to him again and again and to offer her help. She had long talks with Koko about how they both would cope with it, if it should happen again in the future. How they could both give each other strength to overcome this time. Of course she had talked to Adam about it. But she was sure it could happen again. Even if he promised not to let things escalate that much that he would try to settle everything on his own, he just couldn't help it. But the love that she felt for him, simply outweighed any chance that she'd leave him because of that wall.

Now she also looked at the sea to the ships that were on the way to the port. Even today it would be a warm, sunny day. She went to the table and kissed him on the cheek. She had to smile at how much he was startled. She had been right that he had been deeply in his thoughts again. "Good morning. What has woken you so early today?"

She sat down on the chair opposite him. How happy she was at the moment, one could see by the sparkle in her eyes. Adam folded the newspaper he had in his hand and laid it on the table. Then he just looked at her and smiled. "Good morning, pretty lady."

Smiling, she shook her head. "You were just planning something. Just as you were lost in thoughts."

It could be seen as he took a deep breath and looked at the newspaper. "I don't know if I should be grateful for not getting a newspaper at home every day." 

"Adam, you don't take to heart everything that's in the newspaper?" 

Before he answered, he looked at the many ships that sailed past the hotel terrace. "Jenks once told me that the world around us is different and that it's not anywhere as peaceful as in Virginia City. If I read this ...", he put a hand on the newspaper, "... I have to agree with him. I wonder if I should continue to live in my ideal world and just keep my eyes shut."

The sparkle in her eyes turned into an anxious look. "Adam, what are you talking about?" 

"About the presidential elections and what they mean for the country." 

"What has that got to do with you?"

He leaned back and his eyes were focused on the sea. "If it were just the economic problems ...! But no, people are starting to kill each other because everyone wants to represent their political opinion. The Union is winning votes and the South is losing its majority. What has been subliminally seething for years is becoming more and more blatant. As it stands currently, the South won't accept if Lincoln wins the election. The South isn't only afraid of the economic consequences but also that it must accept restrictions on slavery. On the quiet it's already said, should Lincoln win, the South will leave the United States and I don't know if you realize what that means."

Now Bridget leaned back in her chair as well. "What you said last year? That war might come?" 

"Bridget, can I simply continue to live in Nevada when there are such changes in the country? Don't I have to try everything to not let it get to that point in the first place?" 

"Adam, for heaven's sake, what's floating around in your head?"

Again he breathed deeply. "Shouldn't I be more politically active for the interests of the Union?" 

Dumbfounded, she looked at him. Unable to say anything. She had to let his words sink in.  
"I cannot watch as everything around me collapses." 

"Adam, ..."

Twice she had to start before she could continue to talk. ".. do you think you can change anything if you die in war? Or do you think that you're going to be the right-hand man of Lincoln? " 

"I cannot stand by and just watch!"

Bridget felt her heart beat faster. Her thoughts whirled wildly. If she didn't find the right words, Adam would pack his bags pretty quickly because he thought he would have to take responsibility for that too. "You cannot change the whole world, Adam."

Again, she had to think. "You're already fighting a war. The war against forgetting. Amarok and you, you have already achieved a lot. You cannot leave him alone now. Without you, he can't go on and the children are far from grown enough to understand what you're going to achieve. Is everything you have lived for the past twenty-one years in vain? Name me just one other town, where so many Indians can attend school and a tribe is more or less so accepted as at our home." 

She held her breath and tried to read in his face what he was thinking. Without being aware she had closed her right hand into a fist. It was clear to her that her own fear had priority. She had actually mentioned Amarok and his tribe only as good reasons to dissuade him from his insane idea. He still didn't answer her and she couldn't see any emotion in him. "You won't change anything in Washington or on the battlefield but you can do this here in Nevada. For a political career you should have followed this path right after your studies. It's too late now. Think about your injuries. How far would you get?"

Only when breakfast was served, did Bridget get the impression that Adam was roused from his thoughts. All the time he had looked to the sea and not a reaction to her words had come from him. Since she knew exactly how stubborn and obstinate Adam could be, it wasn't possible for her to breathe calmly. He couldn't really believe that he could prevent the differences between the North and the South with his presence, did he? She had to fight back tears. She didn't want to lose him after what had happened. For all his considerations he had to think also to her and the children.

"You're right. I can't change everything and I hope that the South won't go that far." 

His smile returned and he looked at her again as lovingly as he'd done for the last few weeks. "At the reception I learned that there are still tickets for the opera tonight. Do we want to go there?"

With a deep breath Bridget exhaled in relief. But at the same moment, she wondered if Adam was really done with that subject. He had changed the subject too quickly for her liking. So she nodded slightly and without letting him out of her eyes, she took her coffee cup.

XX

She wasn't sure what time it was. When she turned her head to the window, there was not even a hint of the first sunlight. At first she wondered if she should remain in bed but then her gaze fell on the table. So she got up and took one of the cigarettes he had already rolled. Then she went to the window and after lighting the cigarette she took a deep puff. It had rained all night and if the weather didn't get any better, she already knew how to spend the day again. She looked to the bed with a smile that didn't show whether she was now reflecting her power, or whether she was looking forward to what lay ahead of her. Despite the rain, it had been a very mild night and so the man lying there, was only slightly covered with a sheet. She couldn't quite be sure if he was really asleep because she had learned pretty quickly in the few weeks that he was as shrewd and selfish as she was. Just as her he was able to manipulate and deceive his environment perfectly. So they had paired up after they realized that they had almost the same goal. What none of them had been able to do alone they would manage being a successful team. That they, like last night, also had their fun, was a very pleasant bonus. Again, she had judged him correctly. He lay on his belly. His head was turned to her. Just with the flat hand and without opening his eyes, he slapped the bed. With a smug smile, she stubbed out the cigarette, lay down on his back and whispered a few words into his ear and he slowly began to grin.

XX

The six children snuck up to the house. Carefully they looked around the corner. Instantly they pulled their heads back and began to giggle softly. "And, do you believe me now?"

Riccardo had spoken very quietly to the others. "For a week she has been here every afternoon and is only going home very late."

Again Sarah glanced around the corner and squinted once more at the porch. There, Little Joe was standing with a glass of cognac in his hand, telling Dianne what work he had done on the ranch today. Dianne, who was sitting on the bench, listened to his words with a look of love. Sarah giggled again and leaned against the wall of the house. "Is that right, Riccardo? Has he really broken seven horses today and hasn't even been thrown off?"

Riccardo shook his head in amusement. "There were four and Tico had been working with them before." 

Suddenly, Tyler grabbed Sally's hand and pulled her along to position himself with her so that Little Joe could see them. With his back to Adam's brother, he had pulled Sally close and pretended to kiss her. "Oh Sally, my kisses are much sweeter than Little Joe's. You can ask Dianne ...!"

Tyler had spoken so loudly that Joe had almost dropped the glass. But before he could say anything, the four others came up from behind the corner and stood up just as Sally and Tyler and of all of them he heard only one thing. "Oh Joe, how good you can kiss ..."

Angry, Joe put the glass on the table and ran toward the children. They took to their heels and ran up to the Ponderosa. Joe followed them only a few yards, then stopped and went back to Dianne. Shrugging, he stood before her. She had put her hands to her face. Nevertheless, he noticed how she was blushing. "Joe, do you know how embarrassing that is? What if they tell your father?"

As relaxed as possible, Joe leaned against the pillar. "And if so. We didn't do anything." 

"Yes, at the moment. Who knows how long those six have been watching us and what they have seen."

Joe was still trying not to show how nervous he was himself. Otherdays they had only stayed inside the house. Only since yesterday, they had been brave enough to sit outside. "Oh, I think they might have only just seen how I kissed you out here, nothing else."

As Dianne now looked at him, she was all smiles. Stunned by this sudden change of mood, Joe stood upright. "On the other hand, it doesn't matter what they saw, does it, Joe?" 

She raised up from the bench and with a slight smile she stood close to him. Joe scratched his chin embarrassedly. "Well, ... I wouldn't like it so much if my father knew you were here in the last few days."

Dianne pouted and with her fingers played on one of the buttons of Joe's shirt. "And if he already gets to know it now, it isn't bad either. You said when your brother's back we will go for a dance in town. Then everyone would see we're together anyway." 

"Well, ... hmmm ... we should really wait for Adam to be back, because ..." Little Joe got his old self-assurance back. "... if we already tell them, then you can definitely not visit me here alone and certainly not so long."

Dianne looked at him skeptically and took a step back. "Joseph Francis Cartwright, we are as good as engaged. You're not just telling stories again?" 

Joe's swallow was clearly visible and audible. "Well, isn't it a bit early to speak of engagement? I mean, ... .. Dianne, ... wait …!" 

With his hand on his cheek he ran after her.

XX

"Clement, ... Clement. You are smart, you're a good speaker and have a lot of money but do you know why you surely won't get any of the posts in the front row when Nevada is going to be independent?"

Mr Bexter handed Clement a cigar and sat down opposite him. Both sat in one of the backrooms of the Sweet Bravour and had been talking for about an hour now about the political developments in Nevada and the rest of the country. Clement blew the cigar smoke at the ceiling. "And why will that be so, Bexter?" 

"Your friendship with Adam Cartwright will keep you from the big career." 

Clement had lived long enough in Boston and still mastered perfectly not to show if something astonished him. Still very calm, he smoked the cigar and, before he spoke, took a sip of the wickedly expensive cognac. "I'm connected with Adam Cartwright by more than friendship and you know that very well." 

"No, I deliberately said 'friendship'. You needn't to accept or like your son-in-law."

"What would change if he weren't my friend?" 

"The fact that not all think that you share his attitude toward the Indians." 

Sedately Bridget's father nodded. For a long time he had guessed it and also noticed that many of his political friends weren't enthusiastic about what was happening in Virginia City and the surrounding area. "Even if Adam wouldn't my friend, I cannot approve the introduction of a scalp bounty."

Bexter leaned forward. "It's not just about the scalps. It's about the Indians in general. They hinder the development of the country and Adam supports that too. Not only does he allow the Indians to live here on his land, he also lets them live on all his other land. Do you really know how much land your son-in-law has bought in recent years and not just here in Nevada?"

Only briefly, you could notice in Clement that he was a bit surprised. Although he had often talked with Adam since his decision to go into politics, and what, in particular, should be taken care of when Nevada would become independent, Adam had never mentioned his land purchases to him. "We're not talking about the Indians so often when we meet. There are other and more important issues. But I do wonder what you plan that you think I could fail just because Adam is my friend." 

Now Bexter needed some time to answer. "We need the land and the Indians aren't willing to sell it to us. Right now, after the last big gold find, more and more settlers are going to come to Nevada in the near future and we really need them. Otherwise, we will never get the necessary population to separate from Utah. At the moment, we still lack a significant number of citizens to achieve this goal." 

Bexter's gaze was very serious. "Clement, we'd like to see you at the front if not as a senator. But we cannot support you if you don't support us. No land for us, ... no senator's post for you. If you reject all bills because they aren't in the favour of the Indians, you can actually abandon all your ambitions to want to achieve something in politics."

Very slowly, Clement took a pull on his cigar and thought about the words he had just heard. Today, for the first time, he was told that they could even see him as a senator. He had never really believed that this could be possible. He, who just lived only recently here in Nevada. But that would be exactly what he wanted to have, a prestigious position as in Boston. Not that he liked to have constantly to play-act there but the reputation he had in Boston was a little bit lacking. Such evenings as today he missed dearly, but he might have to stand against Adam. He looked at Bexter, who was grinning all the more the longer Clement thought.

"With such a prospect you start to think about your friends more closely. Don't you, Clement?" 

The door opened and Yvette joined the two men. "Good evening, gentlemen. Nice to meet you again. Are you satisfied with everything, or is there anything else I can do for you?"

Smiling, Bexter took a pull on his cigar and looked at Yvette. "As always, Madame Yvette, there's nothing to complain about and we can now move on to the more leisurely part of the evening, or is there anything else to discuss, Clement?" 

Mr Francois took the cigar from his mouth and smiled. "No, except for one thing, ... I'm going to put my veto on the bounty, not on anything else." 

Yvette went to another door and opened it. "If you please, gentlemen. Your ladies are waiting for you."

XXX

Tom raised his arms and yawned loudly. The weekend was very long and very noisy. He had only slept for a few hours in one of his cells. If more prospectors would come to Nevada, then he would have to think about hiring another deputy. Several weekends, like the last, he wouldn't be able to cope with Steve alone. It weren't just the brawls in the saloon, there was still the everyday work.

Yesterday Mr Gordon had come to him and had reported that three foals had been stolen. For some time he had the feeling that someone was lurking around on his land. What most annoyed Gordon was that the foals hadn't been branded yet. So he couldn't prove that they were his animals, even if Tom could find them. Today, however, it was already too late to look for the horses. In addition, Tom wanted to get to sleep. More than four hours at a time.

The only thing he wanted to do before he went home, was that he wanted to check the saloon briefly to see if it was quieter there today. He didn't like that he just lay in bed and he had a bang on his door because of some trouble over there.

Once more he yawned loudly, pushed the chair back tiredly and rose a little awkwardly. Outside the door he stopped and strapped his belt. He looked down the street. It was already dark and most of the town's inhabitants were already in their beds. Just as he liked it. Once again, he stretched his back and went slowly to the saloon. If there wasn't much going on and Mathew was standing behind the counter, he would drink a beer with him. Since the sky was very cloudy, it was darker than usual at this time of day. Tom didn't know if it was due to his fatigue or because the last few days were a bit more stressful and he was always on his guard that he had such a sullen feeling in his belly all of a sudden. Several times he looked to the other side of the road but he couldn't see anything. Except for two stray dogs, nobody could be seen on the street.

Before Tom entered the saloon, he looked around again but there was still nothing to be seen. His mood improved when he saw that Mathew was working here tonight. "Hello Mathew, you give us two beers?" 

The bartender was also looking forward to seeing the Sheriff. He nodded to him and took two glasses. Tom stood at the counter and leaned on his right elbow, looking around. When his eyes reached the back corner of the room, it made not only his hair stand on end. He stood upright and made sure that he hadn't been fooled. Slowly he went to the table in the corner. 

"Good evening, Mitch."

Grinning, Mitch put his beer glass on the table. "Hello, Sheriff. As it seems, no one has shot you by now. What a blessing for the town. " 

The two men looked at each other appraisingly. "I'm a little surprised to see you here. It has been rumored that you had been killed in the explosion." 

"Explosion? What explosion? " 

As Mitch grinned, Tom didn't believe he didn't know what they were talking about. "Where have you been the last few months, Mitch?"

With a smug look Mitch took his glass and took a sip. "Since I don't assume that you missed me, I ask you if there's a wanted poster of me, because otherwise I needn't to answer this question." 

Unfortunately Mitch was right. Tom had nothing on his former schoolmate. It had never be proven to Mitch that he had anything to do with the explosion, nor that he really worked with Curt. The Sheriff resisted the temptation to close his eyes. If Mitch was alive, was Curt still alive, too? For the town and Adam, Tom hoped that wasn't the case. "Should there be a wanted poster of you?"

"If you don't know that ... then you may have the wrong job?" 

With both hands Tom leaned on the table. His gaze was freezing. "I don't want any trouble here, Mitch. You can't look as fast as I will lock you up."

Mitch raised both hands. "I'm not looking for trouble, Sheriff, but you should also tell your friend, or did the wimp bite the dust?" 

Only with difficulty Tom could hold back and not grab Mitch and beat the living daylights out of him. "I'll keep an eye on you."

Tom turned around and went back to the bar, even though he didn't feel like having a beer any more. He still had a few days to think about what to tell Adam. He took a deep breath as Steve rushed into the saloon. "Tom, ... the school's on fire."


	95. Chapter 95

With his hands in his pockets and his gaze on the floor, Tom walked through the remains of the school. Even though the fire had been noticed quite quickly at night they hadn't been able to save the building and it was only now, early in the morning, that he could look more closely to see what the cause of the fire might have been. Fortunately, most of the residents had returned to their daily work so Tom could look around in peace. The only ones being happy that the lessons were canceled for the next few days were the children.

With the tip of his shoe Tom pushed aside some burnt wood. Then he bent down and lifted a larger beam. Carefully, he took the bag that had been underneath into his hand and wiped away the ashes and the soot. When he recognized the bag he immediately closed his fist. A handful of rubbernecks still stood around the former schoolhouse, watching closely at what he was doing there. So he pretended that he hadn't found anything and continued to pound with a small piece of wood in the ashes.  
"And found something already?"

Without Jenkins noticing it, Tom put the bag into his pocket and straightened up. "So far I don't know who or what is responsible for the fire." 

Jenkins' gaze wandered over the scene. "You mean the fire was set deliberately?"

"Since it's May, I won't assume that you have started the oven." 

The teacher crooked his head slightly. "Am I mistaken or do you blame me for the fire?"  
Tom didn't intend to look at Adam's friend. "I didn't say that. Or do I have reason to think that?"

The Sheriff didn't need to look at Jenkins to know that he took a deep breath. "You would be better to ask your fellow residents in town who might not tolerate me teaching here. I've been wondering why it was so quiet all these last months. Even if Virginia City is different from other towns, there are still enough people who don't tolerate how the Indians are treated here."

Tom still didn't look at the teacher. "Or it was too quiet for some and they can't deal with the fact that there are peaceful places to live?" Slowly Tom turned to Jenkins. "What happened to your arm, Simon?"

Tom wanted to grab the left arm of Jenkins. But he pulled it away at once and walked a few steps back. "What's the matter, Tom? After finally finding my home here, do you really think I'm putting everything on the line because it's too peaceful for me?" 

With his finger the Sheriff pointed back at his arm. "What happened? That looks like a burn and you were only here this morning when you checked on everything."

Both men fixed each other with a look and Tom saw and felt Jenkins struggle with himself and his anger. Therefore the Sheriff was prepared for anything. Once again, he wouldn't let the teacher fool him like last year. But just as it looked, Adam had been right. Jenkins had learned to trust his friends and even if his anger could still be seen, he didn't overreact this time.

"Pelipa and I cooked dinner yesterday after an ancient tradition and there was a moment when I got distracted and didn't quite stick to the plan. So I burnt myself."

"And of course only Pelipa can testify to that." 

With clenched fists Jenkins nodded. "The girls were down at the creek and only came home for dinner."  
"Fine." 

Amazed, Jenkins looked at his friend as he relaxed and continued to walk through the remains. "Fine? That's all? First you blame me and now everything's fine?"

Tom stopped and smiled at the teacher. "You can send the wrong wolf home, Simon. I haven't accused you, I've only asked questions and that's my job. I'm trying to figure out what happened here. Simon, you should understand, if your 'friends' see your injury and I hadn't asked you, they would be quick to assert that I'm protecting the Cartwrights and their Indian friends."

Briefly Simon closed his eyes. "Sorry, Tom. I have rarely had a Sheriff as a friend. Probably I'll react this way if you talk to me like that." 

Again Jenkins looked at the remains. "Do you think we can rebuild the school at the weekend? Lessons shouldn't be cancelled for too long." 

In his reply, Tom's skepticism could be heard. "Shouldn't we wait until we know exactly what happened here? I'm concerned that those who are responsible for it will strike again."

"Tom, I've always stood my ground. It's also not certain that the fire was set on my account. I don't know why but I've got the feeling that it wasn't about me teaching here." 

"All right. I'll talk to those responsible and we'll let you know."

Tom didn't mention that he had exactly the same thoughts, namely, that this wasn't just about Jenkins being teacher at this school. Because people who acted out of such motives always left something, to give a clear hint to whom the message was addressed. Tom's head turned toward the saloon. He would have liked to say that Mitch was behind the matter. But there wasn't the slightest bit of proof. Nevertheless it was a strange coincidence. This dodger emerged out of nowhere after months and almost instantly the school was on fire. Tom's hand went to his pocket and he felt the bag. He wouldn't talk to anyone about it yet. He wanted to see what would happen in the next few hours and days.

XX

"Tom, guess you didn't find my foals?" 

The Sheriff got off his horse and greeted Mr. Gordon, who - after seeing how Tom came riding toward the house - had left the ranch house to meet him.  
"No, unfortunately not yet. That's why I wanted to look around here. Maybe I can find a trace."  
Mr. Gordon laughed. "Sheriff, believe me, my men and I have turned every stone to find something. Nothing. Not a hint. It's as if they had dropped from the face of the earth."

"The horses were back there in the paddock?" 

"Yes ..." Gordon pointed to one of the paddocks near the barn. "... on the very back. There the ground is best and no risk that they step into a hole while running around." 

"Hmm, ..." Tom took the reins of his horse and went in that direction. "... I'll look around. If I find something, I'll give you a shout." 

"Do so, Sheriff, but I've given up hope that I'll get them back. Without a brand the chance is almost zero." 

Shaking his head, the rancher looked after the Sheriff.

Tom leaned against the fence of the paddock and looked at the surroundings for quite a while. He let sink in what he saw and waited for what his feeling would tell him. Whether it would say anything at all. Again and again his eyes wandered around. Then he remembered what Gordon had told him on the day of the report. That he had had the impression that someone has been ensconcing on his property for some time. Tom wondered why a horse thief would do that. Maybe the night before but certainly not for several days.

The risk would be too high for him to be caught. In his head, he went through the report he had made on this matter. There was something that had already intrigued him when he was writing. But then he had filed it under stupidity. But slowly his belly told him that it might had been deliberately. So he mounted and followed his suspicion, hoping that he would be wrong. For if he was right a lot of trouble would head his way.

XX

It took him a lot of strength to keep his rage under control. More and more he realized that it has started again. And this time planned and even worse. He already knew since the evening in the saloon. If Mitch had survived the explosion, then certainly Curt had as well. What happened in the last few days could only be his responsibility. It was too obvious the tracks led towards Adam.

Tom stood at the edge of the village of the Gosiute and looked to the horses. There were the three missing foals. Now the Sheriff understood why the three foals, which had been most strikingly spotted, had been stolen. Just for the one reason that they could be recognized immediately without a brand.

Tom thought about what he should do now. If Curt was really behind it, and Tom wasn't doubting that for a second, he of course expected Tom to bring the horses back and take the Gosiute to account. What that would mean for the Indians was obvious. The army would rub their hands if they had reason to put the Gosiute in a reservation and horse-stealing was a very good reason. Adam wouldn't stand a chance of protecting Amarok and his tribe.

And now Tom knew why Jenkins' bag with those herbs and pipes was placed so that he had to find it. The only question was, was it coincidence that Jenkins had burnt himself the night before? Or was he observed and the idea with the fire occured then? If Jenkins had really been observed, he, too, would have somebody on his neck who followed all his steps.

As far as Tom knew Bridget and Adam would come back in three days. Until then, the mood against the Indians and Jenkins would be so heated up that Adam would hardly manage to find a peaceful solution. Then only a trifle comment was necessary and Adam would be carried away by a rash action. Mitch and Curt would have achieved their goal. Tom bit his lip and shook his head. Something was still wrong with his reflections. Even if Adam was out of the way, Bridget would never go with Curt - after all that had happened. And that was what Curt wanted. That she went along voluntarily. Otherwise, he could have snatched Bridget a long time ago. So what was the goal of the former teacher? Anyway, Tom had to get to the point very carefully, so that Curt didn't achieve what he hoped for.

No way he was going to ride to the village. Even knowing Amarok for many years and even visiting him with Adam now and then, the chief wouldn't tolerate to be told he was a horsethief, or that this might have been said about him and his tribe. At the moment there was only one who could help him in this matter. So he turned his horse and rode to Koko's farm.

XX

Both watched as the rider left the little hut and returned to Virginia City.  
"Your great plan probably didn't work out." 

Immediately, Curt grabbed Mara's neck and pushed her against the wall of the hut. Menacingly, he looked into her eyes. "I told you before, you shouldn't talk to me in that tone."

Mara, however, was neither intimidated by his gaze nor by his tone. "And I told you before, if we want to reach our goal, you must look at me as your partner and also listen to me." 

Both grinned grimly and Mara's grin also didn't disappear as Curt tightened his grip. "Oh, you mean I should listen to you? But you like it when I decide about you!"

"The question is who's got the power over whom." 

None of them broke eye contact. Curt kissed Mara roughly on the mouth and then let go of her. "Then tell me about your great plan." 

Smiling, Mara took one of Curt's cigarettes. Then she sat down on the bench and smiled at him arrogantly. "What you're doing are little-boy's pranks. We have to organize the whole thing bigger and take advantage of the greatest enemy for us."  
"The greatest enemy?"  
She blew the smoke in his direction then she emphazied the word.  
"Fear …..!"

Then she laughed as mean as he had rarely heard from her. "My dear Mara, you don't know Adam Cartwright for so long. Otherwise you'd know he doesn't get afraid so easily." 

"I'm not talking about Adam but about the people who surround him. In the end, he will do everything we want just to get back peace in the beautiful Nevada." 

Curt smiled again. "Mara, I think you're more evil than the devil himself." 

"I am the devil." 

Curt came to the bench, pulled Mara up and kissed her again. "I'm glad I met the devil."

"And you'll see, the fear will ensure that we can live a carefree life on my ranch in a few months. Not only fear will help us. Even the power of rumors." 

Curt firmly clasped the arm of Mara. Any other woman would have cried instantly in pain but not his new partner. "OUR ranch, honey, ... but I'm going to teach you that."  
Laughing, she let him pull her into the hut.

XX

"Well, ma petite princesse."  
Cholette tightened the last ribbon and looked at Emilie, smiling. With caution, her granddaughter touched the many braids that she had in her hair. "Was the hair wash so bad?" 

With her big bright eyes, Emilie looked at her and nodded decisively. "Eyes burn."

"But not any more. And a little princesse, almost three years old, doesn't scream and shout. You will soon be a little lady." 

Emilie sat on a stool and wiggled her feet, still playing with one of the many braids. "Want be a princesse."

Laughing, Cholette took Bridget's daughter in her arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You'll always be my petite princesse and I ..." Cholette paused and looked into Emilie's eyes and then hugged her tightly. She took a deep breath and smiled at her again. "... will always love you but now you have to go to bed." 

Her grandchild placed her small arms around her neck and gave her a long kiss on the cheek. "I love Mamie Cho."

Giggling, Emilie was tucked in. "And you'll see if we get the braid ribbons out tomorrow, you'll have as many curls as a petite princesse needs." 

Emilie spread her arms wide. "Sooo many?" 

"More than any other girl has had before you and now ..." Cholette took a book from the night table. ".. we will continue the story of the little glass shoe."

With a joyful glint in her eyes Emilie fell asleep happily after less than four pages. Very carefully, Cholette closed the book and gently stroked the cover. The book had been given to her by her grandmother. She, too, could never have heard this story often enough. For a long time she had also believed that one day a prince would come and take her to his castle. Now Clement had been anything but a prince but the house in Boston had come very close to the fantasy of her childhood. She gently stroked one of her wild strands from her granddaughter's forehead. If at least half of the braids were to remain until tomorrow, she could be happy. Cholette looked at the door when it was opened quietly and Bridget came in.

"Is she asleep already?" 

"Yes, but not surprising, as she romped around with Punka." 

Bridget sat down on the other side of the bed and, like her mother, looked at Emilie lovingly.  
"She looks like you, Bridget. Even your hair was difficult to control at that age." 

"But I never screamed when I had to wash it." 

"That's right, you screamed louder."

Mother and daughter looked at each other smiling. Then Bridget looked at the book in her mother's hand and she had to smile. "Your favorite book. Do you think she understands what you read to her? " 

Again, Cholette gently stroked the book. "OUR favorite book. You also wanted to read it every night and yes, she already understands a lot of what I'm telling her, because I talk to her almost only in French. If you continue to do so, she will also grow up with both languages, like Frederic and you did."

"Well, soon you can read it to Claire. Then you will have two little princesses who are listening to you." 

A shadow flitted over Cholette's face, then she smiled again. "Then she would have to do something without her brother. She's really sticking to him. No matter where George runs, Claire follows him. " 

"Had Frederic and I been different?"

Sighing, Cholette looked at the ceiling, thinking. "You've also done a lot together but you've explored your own environment pretty quickly. That didn't make it always easy for the nanny but Claire and George are also quite different. Especially with George you can see that he's got a lot of Adam."

Bridget had to laugh. "And believe me how relieved he is about it. He never admitted it but his fear was quite big that George might become like Frederic. You know how much he wanted his cowboy." 

Cholette also laughed. "Frederic, too, can be glad about it, otherwise Adam would surely have exchanged George for Riccardo." 

Bridget laid her hand on her mother's. "Maman, I'm glad you stayed here and you didn't return to Boston."

Despite the smile, her mother's eyes looked sad. Bridget looked at her in surprise. "Maman, won't you talk to me about it? Since we've been back from San Francisco, I've gotten the impression that something keeps playing on your mind." 

Cholette exhaled loudly, squeezing Bridget's hand a little tighter, without letting her out of her sight. "Do the twins and Chesmu sleep?" Bridget nodded slowly. "And the big ones?"

"They are with Adam at Simon's. He wanted to discuss something with him and he should ask if Pelipa needs anything, because the baby is to come soon." 

"Then let's go to the bench. I like the view of the mountains from there."  
With mixed feelings Bridget followed her mother.

XX

Riccardo lay in bed and looked at the ceiling. Still, he couldn't fall asleep and that wasn't just because he still had pain after having a talk with his father in the barn.  
He was annoyed that he had been so provoked by William. He hadn't wanted to punch so hard but somehow he had underestimated his strength. He still winced when he remembered how it had sounded when William's jaw cracked. Why did this idiot have to say that his father was a coward just because he had never visited a saloon? And whether Riccardo was sure that this was his real dad? Riccardo looked outside. It was the night of the new moon and therefore very dark, otherwise he would have sneaked out of the window and gone down to the creek. He often did that when he had quarreled with his father and that happened very often at the moment. Sometimes Riccardo had the feeling that his father didn't like him to work so much at the Ponderosa. With Fabio, he didn't scold so often and his brother was also more interested in what their father was doing and ... Riccardo swallowed loudly and gritted his teeth ... he looked very much like his dad.

Lately, he often thought of packing his things and moving to Bernardo. There he wouldn't have to go to the barn either and there would be no stupid comments about his father. There was a crack outside and he looked to the window. Had a beaver from the creek ventured to the house? When it cracked again, he stood up and looked outside. He saw a shadow that disappeared behind the shed. Briefly, Riccardo wondered that this one was too big for a beaver. But since it was so dark, he could have been mistaken. He remained a little at the window and just looked into the darkness of the night. Still unable to sleep, he sneaked quietly down to the kitchen to drink some milk. Even on the way, he heard noises from there. Had he slept and it was so early that his mother prepared breakfast in the kitchen? Then he touched his butt and shook his head. Just as that still hurt the talk with his father wasn't so many hours ago. Then he began to grin. Probably Fabio had also sneaked into the kitchen. Riccardo turned around the corner and froze. The stove and everything in its proximity was on fire. The eyes of Giovanna's son were drawn to the flames. Unable to move, he looked at the fire. It wasn't until the dishes in the cupboard were clattering loudly to the ground that he broke his rigid stance and he ran to his parents' bedroom.

XX

The sun hadn't yet risen when Frederic looked stunned at the smoking ruins of his house. Again and again he wondered how this could happen. At first he had accused Riccardo of wanting to cook something at night. But Giovanna convinced him that their son would admit if he was to blame. Riccardo had only looked at him furiously and asked him into which barn he should go. Before Frederic could show him that he wasn't to talk to his father that way, Adam had intervened and said that everything would be cleared up in the daylight.

Frederic jerked as Adam laid his hand on his back and stood beside him. "Frederic, we can rebuild the house. What's important is that Riccardo woke you up just in time and nothing happened to anyone." 

Frederic nodded but that didn't really build him up. "Adam, you know well that I don't have time right now to build a house and you're busy preparing for the cattle drive."

"Then we'll rebuild the house later, unless you don't want to live with me. Then we will set up a tipi for you here. But I think you'll have to live there alone. Because I had the impression that Giovanna and Riccardo didn't find it so bad that they would live with us in the near future." 

Frederic glared at him from the side. "Adam, I don't think it's funny." 

"And I'm not joshing."

"I certainly won't live in a tent and regarding our stay with you, I just want to point out that the opera ain't over until the fat lady sings." 

Now Adam tilted his head and in astonishment, but very carefully, he looked at his friend. "Is everything alright with you?" 

"Is everything alright with me?" Frederic could barely control himself. "You ask me if everything's alright? My house has just burnt down and I can be glad we're all still alive and my friend thinks the whole situation just to be funny."

Adam took a deep breath. "Frederic, I ..." 

Frederic waved his hand and interrupted Adam as he started to talk. "Just leave me alone, Adam. I will get the horses and go to my family. You can rejoice in the fact that I can start all over again. It wouldn't have happened in Boston."

Without replying, Adam looked after his friend. It was obvious that Frederic, in his fear and anger, shot reckless arrows. Adam had only tried not to show how angry he was. For him it was a safe bet that Curt was behind this matter. Tom had told him after his return what had happened. It was quite unusual that another house had just burned down.

Adam was already going to his horse when he stopped again. Something in the ashes had caught his attention. So he came back again and went to his knees. Very slowly he clenched his fist and gritted his teeth. He tried not to show anything. Like Tom, he also believed that someone was watching closely what was happening here. In the ashes lay his saddle blanket, which he had received from Aiyana for a birthday present. He had already wondered why he hadn't found it in its place before. But now he knew the reason. And the one who had set fire had also been involved in putting it out. Because the blanket was only half burned. If it had been here from the beginning, nothing would be left of it. It should be found. At first he wanted to take the blanket but then lit a match and held it on the saddle blanket. He waited until it too was just a pile of ashes. Only then he left the place and rode home.

XXX

Ben couldn't help smiling when he saw Adam coming up to him with the children. Frederic and his family had been living with him for four days and his son seemed to be very relaxed.  
"Emillia, ...!" Ben turned his head to the side of the kitchen and called for his wife. "... I think we'll get even more visitors for coffee." 

Laughing, Emillia just looked out of the door. "And you ask me why I always bake so much cake?"

Still smiling, Ben went to meet his son, to free him from at least one of the twins. But before he could take Claire, he was enthusiastically welcomed by the others, who went straight on running to the house at the mention of cakes. With a broad grin, he then took his granddaughter on his arm. "So it finally happened, son? Has your wife left you and all of your children or thrown you out?"

Without changing his expression, Adam looked at him seriously. "How did you know? But no matter anyway, then I needn't beat around the bush. We're all going to live with you from now on."

He held Adam's arm as he was about to go on and looked at him with wide eyes. But then, when he saw Adam curling his lips slightly into a grin and raising his eyebrows with an innocent look, he knew he was being teased by him again. "Adam, when will you finally grow up? I cannot stand this kind of humor from you."

"But me, …. nope, Bridget and Giovanna wanted to catch a breath and talk in peace about how to go on. Because we really won't be able to build a house for Frederic and his family in the near future." 

Skeptically Ben looked at him from the side. "If I know you, you will have offered them to live with you."

"Of course and why not. Riccardo, Giovanna and Fabio are so often here with us." 

Ben couldn't hide what he thought of it but maybe it was only his lack of understanding about where his son always took this patience. It couldn't really be only the visits on his mountain, that brought him peace. "You'll know what you're doing."

When Ben went to the house, Adam stopped him. "Pa, can we talk briefly about the Ponderosa?" 

As serious as Adam looked at him all of Ben's muscles tensed instantly. "What happened?"  
"Nothing ... nothing. That's why I want to talk to you." 

Questioningly Ben waited until Adam continued. "Tom and I assume that Curt has survived the explosion last year." 

Not just a cold shudder passed through Ben. He couldn't help being shocked. "Adam, I'm in no mood for joking."

Even if he didn't believe in it, he hoped his son would smile at him but nothing happened in that regard. "About Curt, I would never make a joke. Pa, the fire at school and at Frederic's is most likely on his account and not just that." 

Ben swallowed. "What else happened?"

"Three foals had been stolen from Mr. Gordon and the tracks led to the Gosiute. Just because at that time Tom had already guessed that Curt could have a hand in the pie, he could prevent worse. Amarok's warriors had found the foals near the village. Because the animals had no brandings they took them to the village. Which doesn't violate any law. Amarok understood the entire consequences of what it would mean if the Gosiute were to be reported for cattle stealing. That's why Hoss brought the foals to Mr. Gordon and told him that he had found them and because he heard about the theft, he had known who the owner was. We can consider ourselves to be lucky that Mr. Gordon believed this story." 

Ben looked at him in disbelief. "What does Curt want to achieve with all these actions? Are you sure he's behind it?"

For confirmation, Adam nodded. "That carries clearly his thumbprint and Mitch is also in town. If he is alive, surely Curt will be, too ..." Now Adam shrugged. "... but what he wants to achieve, Tom and I don't know yet. We both think it's no longer about Bridget. It looks as though Curt's trying to uproot my friends and those who have been accompanying me on my way. The army and the railway company are only waiting to have a reason to expel the Gosiute from my land. That there are enough people who are waiting for Jenks to fail, you know, too." 

It took a while before Ben had digested the things heard. "And what are you doing now and how can I help you?"

Adam let George down from his arm and let him go to Rusty and Punka. "I should actually go to Sacramento next week to discuss a new timber contract. But I don't like to leave Bridget and the children on their own, so I wanted to ask if you could go to Sacramento. You can also take Emillia with you and leave the girls with me. Then you can have some nice days there."

Ben had also let Claire run to the dogs and put his arm around Adam's shoulder and went with him to the porch of the house. "Adam, you don't have to make the matter tempting for me. Of course I'll help you but what do you want to do if Tom hasn't caught Curt before the cattle drive? You can't send Joe and Tico alone."

It wasn't often that Ben saw his son desperate but Adam's entire posture showed clearly how the whole situation affected him. "I just hope he's behind bars or on the gallows and if not ..." 

"If not, we will find a solution."

He gave Adam a slap on the back. "How is Frederic? Did he calm down again? Emillia told me he was very upset." 

"He's calmer again but he's hardly talking to me and if he does I realize how angry he is with me, although I cannot explain why. So far, only Tom, Jenks, Hoss and Koko know about Curt and now you. So I can't say why he blames me for the fire but I'll talk to him at the weekend."

"Adam, chin up. We will come through this, too. Now we will ..." again he had a slight smile on his face. "... eat Emillia's cake together." 

Adam looked down as he nodded.

"Joe told me he has to look for some stray cattle tomorrow with Hoss?" 

After his father had promised to support him, Adam slowly returned to his usual self-assurance. "Yes, I'm missing two of my best bulls and right now I don't want to send any of the family somewhere alone. Thus Hoss has offered to accompany Little Joe."

"Yes, I also think that's so much better and ..." 

Ben didn't continue to speak as Emillia came out of the kitchen with a tray and put it on the table. 

"You two can set the plates and catch the children." 

Father and son looked at each other and both agreed without words that they would continue the conversation later. Still a bit worried but again as well a little relieved, Adam distributed the plate, while Ben collected the children.

XXX

Rose raised her head and looked up into the sky. Today it would surely be as warm as yesterday. She picked up Eaton and went back with him to the waggon. Smiling, Anton turned around as he saw his wife and his son in the small mirror. He put the razor aside and took the boy off Rose's hands. "Well, my big boy, didn't you let your mother sleep tonight?"

Affectionately, Rose stroked her son's head. He laughed and pressed his mouth firmly against the cheek of his father. "He had to deal with his teeth again. I can't give him as much leather as he chewed on last night." 

Anton laughed. "Eaton, you're practicing already for eating your steak from our own cattle."

"Shouldn't they be more tasty?" 

He gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and returned her Eaton. "It will be the best beef that has ever existed in the West." 

"For that we need to arrive first. Are we going on today or are we going to take another day off?"

"It won't go on until tomorrow. The animals are supposed to recover. I'll help Frank with his waggon today. They're having problems with the rear wheel again." He pinched his son slightly on the cheek. "And what will you do with the day off?" 

"I think I'll go to the lake with Gudrun and the children, wash the clothes and let the kids play in the water."

"Well, have a lot of fun. You can think about whether we want to eat dinner together tonight. During the next few weeks we won't come around to do so. I'm assuming James won't mind." 

"I'll do that."

Rose was already looking forward to spending the day with her girlfriend again. Gudrun and her had quickly made friends on the trek and the two women were especially happy that their husbands understood each other very well, too. In fact so well, that they already considered becoming neighbors at their destination.

In the morning, the two women were at the lake and watched the children play. "Oh Rose, do you know how glad I am that Craig has coped so well with the death of his parents? I was so worried that he would just cry."

Rose looked at the boy. His father had been Gudrun's brother-in-law and the shock was still profound when she thought of the day four months ago. It had rained very much and part of the trek had already crossed the small river the day before. The waggon of Craig's parents, like three others, hadn't managed to come across and was to wait for the flow to subside again.

Since Craig's father had already guessed that it could be dangerous, he had put Craig on his brother's waggon because he was driving at the beginning of the trek. He wanted to make sure that when crossing the water he didn't have to keep an eye on his son. He and his wife would probably have their hands full bringing the waggon safely to the other side. When it was their turn, the treck boss decided it would be too dangerous and they should wait.

The next afternoon, Craig's father had no more patience and against the advice of the others he went to cross the river to get to his son. They hadn't even reached the halfway point when the waggon was carried away by the current. Craig, who had been watching from the bank, stopped crying only after several days. His uncle had to yell at him and take him in his arms to get him out of there, so they could move on.

Now, after four months, it wasn't noticeable any longer that the boy had suffered so much from the loss of his parents. Everyone hoped that with his age being five he would simply forget what had happened. Craig splattered his two new siblings with water, laughing loudly. Screaming, Amy and Robert ran away from him and hid behind their mother. Eaton sat between the two women and laughed every time the two screeched.

"Oh Rose, I hope we will soon arrive at our destination. I can hardly wait for the children to play in front of the house and have fun. We have to make sure that our houses aren't so far apart." 

"We have to pay attention to that. You surely need my help with your big family."

With a knowing smile Rose looked at her friend. "Have you already told James?" 

Quickly Gudrun shook her head. "I want to wait a little longer. Until we are a little further. James once said that when I get pregnant again, he won't move on but will look for a piece of land right there but ..." Grinning she grabbed Rose's arm. "... we want to become neighbors."

Both women started laughing. "Don't let James know what we are planning here. He's always worried anyway, that he's not going to get you all safe and sound to California." 

"There are only a few months left, then we have made it. And if I tell him in a few weeks, he will also continue until the end." 

The six still spent some time at the lake before they returned to the camp at noon.

XXX

They were on their way since the early morning hours. The old Indian wanted to show the young warriors what places they could best hunt buffaloes if they passed them in a few weeks. They were walking through the woods. The warriors should be prepared by the long march on how exhausting the coming hunt would be. It should be their first hunt of this kind. There they were to show what they had learned in the last few years. The warriors were aware of the responsibility pressing on their shoulders. It was up to them whether they would soon bring to the tribe enough beef, leather and bones for making tools.

Amarok's father was just wondering where they could take a break when he heard a well-known click. His hesitation was short-lived and wasn't perceived by the predator of the noise. The old Indian turned very slowly. Upright and with a proud glance, he looked into the muzzle of a rifle. He was prepared that his visit to this world would come to an end. But he wasn't afraid because he knew he was only a guest in all the years. Now it was time to go to another world. When the shot fell, the gunman wondered why he hadn't seen any emotion in the old man's eyes.

XXX

"Does the tooth bother you again?" 

Rose left the waggon with Eaton and walked to and fro with him on her arm.  
"His tooth again?" 

Rose turned to Gudrun, who was standing in front of her waggon. "If I can't sleep through the night again soon, then ... then ..." Although she was so tired, she laughed softly at her own words. "What are you doing out there in the middle of the night?"

"Amy had a bad dream and then Robert awoke. But luckily I was able to calm her down before James and Craig went awake." 

Gudrun watched Eaton and put her finger to her mouth. "As it looks, you don't have to walk around with him al night again." 

"I'd rather wait a few more minutes before lying him down. Not that I have to start all over again."

Just as the two women had said good night to get on their waggons, they heard a hissing sound beside their ears. Surprised, they looked around but then shrieked loudly. In one of the waggons was a burning Indian arrow, setting the tarp on fire.


	96. Chapter 96

In less than no time there was pure chaos in the camp. People ran screaming everywhere. Rose turned with Eaton in her arms and looked around. Just about every wagon was on fire. There were shots but she couldn't tell where the shots came from. Suddenly Anton was next to her and shouted at her to hide with Eaton. She thought frantically about where to go with her son. Her eyes fell on the wagon of Gudrun and that she had just left it with Amy in her arms. She, too, stood with the three children in front of her wagon, anxiously looking around. Rose instantly ran to her friend.

"Gudrun, down at the lake we can hide! Behind the bushes, where we had been looking for Robert for so long yesterday!" 

Her friend didn't move an inch. She was still looking wide-eyed at the situation that was taking place before her very eyes. Rose had to shake Gudrun several times. "We have to get out of here!" 

At last James' wife woke from her rigidity. "Shouldn't we stay and help the others defend the camp?"

"Gudrun, look around! We don't know who's attacking us and we've got no weapons. Besides ...," She pointed to the children. "... what shall we do with them? They are too small to defend themselves."

The women nodded and agreed to head for the lake. Before they left the camp, they hid behind one of the wagons and looked around. But there were no Indians to see or hear. Crouched they ran on until they reached the mighty bushes by the lake. They quickly hid behind them and signaled the children to be very quiet and to make no sound. Even if Rose tried she couldn't prevent her shaking and shrugging at every shot or loud scream. When it got quieter, Gudrun whispered to her. "Do you think I can sneak back into the camp and see what's going on?" 

Rose looked at the camp, trying to see something. But at the moment there was an eerie silence. Only the crackling of the fire was heard. "Shouldn't we go both?"

Gudrun looked at the children and shook her head. "No, the children would be running after us."

Gudrun turned to her children. "You stay with Rose. Mom's coming right back." 

Again she stroked Amy's head and then ran back hunched to the camp. Nervously, Rose kneaded her fingers. Fortunately, Eaton was asleep again. The three other children also had very small eyes, even though she could see that they hadn't understood what had just happened. Again Rose winced when she heard a shot and then the loud laughter of a man. Then it was quiet again. Uncertain what she was about to do, her eyes wandered between the camp and the children. When her friend wasn't back at the lake after twenty minutes, Rose couldn't sit still any longer. With a last look at the children, who had all fallen asleep in the meantime, she sneaked back to the camp. Without any problems she reached the wagon and was able to hide behind it. Almost all of the wagons had fallen prey to the flames and a terrible smell was in the air. Not everyone had managed to get out of the burning wagons in time. Carefully she looked through the charred remains to the middle of the camp. She had to put her hand over her mouth not to scream. Everywhere bodies were lying on the ground. Her friend Gudrun lay just before the wagon which Rose just hid behind. But what surprised her most was that there were no Indians in the camp but four Whites. One person, Rose was sure, was a woman. She narrowed her eyes but as hard as she tried, she couldn't discover any Indian. Whoever these people were they were responsible for what happened here. Rose would need to be careful not to be discovered. She wanted to sneak back to the lake as she heard this loud laugh again. Her attention returned to the four people.  
Lewis laughed so loudly and so often that it started to annoy Curt. "Can't you shut up, boy?"

"Why should I?" He laughed again. "Noone here can hear me anyway."

Curt grabbed Lewis by the collar and pulled him towards him. "But I can hear you and it annoys me." 

"But Curt ...," Mara touched Curt's arm and smiled smugly at Lewis. "... our young friend's only relieved that everything has worked out just as we had planned."

Mara stroked Lewis' cheek and blew a kiss to him but without touching him with her lips. Then she slipped with her mouth to his ear and spoke with a gentle voice. "You've done very well but you're not quite finished." 

Lewis began to grin grimly and turned to Norton. "Norton, you know what you're going to do with all your money?"

Surprised, the young man cocked his head. "No, I haven't thought about that yet but where are all the others? I thought we were going to meet here once we had finished off all the settlers. Did the boys already head back to town?" 

Lewis began to smile. "Yes, they have already gone but you can follow them."

Curt rolled his eyes. "Lewis, stop chatting, you've got a job to do." 

"What kind of job?" 

Confused, Norton looked at the three others. His pupils dilated as he saw Lewis pulling his gun. "That's my job."

Before Norton could say anything, he had a bullet in his brain and fell backwards.

Lewis laughed again. Then he put the gun back into the holster and turned to Mara. "Do I get my reward now?" 

"Yeah, you'll get ..." Mara ran both her hands across Lewis' chest. "… but not now. We still have a lot to do until we have achieved our goal. If you're patient, you're not only going to have a lot of money but even hours you will never forget."

Even if the fire no longer burned so high and it was getting darker around them, it could still be seen how Lewis started to sweat with excitement. "And now, my dear, you can have your fun, while Curt and I'll do the rest. But be ready in twenty minutes, then we have to get out of here."

Curt looked annoyed at Lewis as he walked to Gudrun, still lying on the ground. "You don't really intend to give him any of the money and live with us both at the ranch?" 

"What's the matter, Curt ..." Mara turned to Curt and as usual, she smiled at him arrogantly. "... you aren't jealous of that little boy?"

Derogatorily Curt exhaled. "Of him? Of course not. He just annoys me and on top of that he's stupid. When put through the mill, he'll drop a dime right away. I didn't understand why he and his friends were with us anyway. With his cousin you've already seen that the family only has a big mouth but otherwise is too cowardly to take risks."

"But Curt, you can't say that. Without batting an eyelash he has knocked off more men than we both together. But don't you worry. He's not going to be our stable boy. If we don't need him anymore, he's going to join Norton and the rest." 

She gave Curt a kiss and then went past him. "Now come on. We still have some things to do, so that Adam's Indian friends will soon be visited by the army." 

With another annoyed look at Lewis, Curt followed Mara.

Lewis had meanwhile reached Gudrun. He pulled her up by the arm and dragged her behind one of the wagons. Rose bit her hand as she heard her friend groan in pain. The man named Lewis and Gudrun were not five yards away from her. Rose didn't dare to move or breathe. She didn't have anything in reach to take him out. And if she had had something, it would certainly not be for long and the two others would kill her just like the other settlers. But she had to stay alive. She had to get the children to California. Rose closed her eyes as she couldn't bear to watch any longer what Lewis just did to her friend. She didn't open them until she heard a shot. Laughing, Lewis stood before Gudrun. His gun was still pointed at her head.

Rose's eyes still clung to Gudrun, when Lewis and the two others had left the camp a long time ago. Quietly she began to hum. Her legs took her back to the children automatically. She sat down with them, took Eaton and cradled him in her arms. She was still humming. If she simply didn't go back to the camp or look in its direction, then it had certainly not happened. She would wake up some time and Anton would greet her with a kiss. Because the whole incident could have been only a dream. No man could be as evil as the ones she had just seen.

XXX

"Joe, where are you again with your thoughts?" 

Hoss' little brother startled in the saddle. "Me? ... Well, why did we have to leave so early, Hoss? I couldn't even have breakfast in peace. "  
"If you weren't always hanging around in town for so long you wouldn't be done the next day. But you were just thinking about something. Are you trying to imitate our brother?"

"Of course not. I want to have fun in my life."

Hoss laughed. "And what were you thinking of?" 

"I ..., well, ... why did you marry Koko?"

Hoss looked puzzled at his brother. "Because I loved her and still love." 

"But you got married pretty quickly, though you didn't have to." 

"Little Joe, what's going on?"

Hoss had stopped his horse and Joe was still hesitating. "Hoss, why is it so bad that I don't want to go dancing with the same girl every time?" 

"It wouldn't be bad if you didn't always tell them about the big love. But then probably none of them would go dancing with you." 

Joe looked thoughtfully into the void. "But I don't want to get married yet.

Adam didn't go out just with Koko and he didn't get into a much trouble as I do."

With a finger, Hoss tapped his head and grinned. "Yes, our big brother is a bright spark. He didn't make a big fuss as you do when he went out with a girl. And he didn't tell them any stories."

Now Hoss tapped Joe with his finger against his chest. "And as soon as he realized that it could get too serious, he has finished the relationship very quickly. With his typical charming way, so never one of the girls was mad at him."

Joe dropped his shoulders. "And they have all fallen for it. Oh yes, Adam always knew how to draw people to his side." 

"Oh, oh, Little Joe, that sounds pretty hard. You can't say such things about him. Yes, his attitude to the girls wasn't always what Pa wanted it to be. But he never influenced anybody to be drawn to his side. Our brother's one of the most honest people I know."

Joe still seemed very thoughtful and as Hoss hit him on the arm he almost fell out of the saddle. "Joe, do you see that?" 

With his eyes Joe followed the outstretched arm of his brother. In the distance he saw thin columns of smoke rising into the sky. Something bigger must have been burning there. A quick glance was enough and both galloped off.

XXX

While Little Joe looked around with an open mouth and pale face, Hoss tightened his lips. The sight that greeted them was so unreal. Shocked and dumbfounded, they stood in the middle of the camp, turning around over and over again, looking at the terrible picture. Each of them sensed what the settlers had suffered in their last hours.

It took them quite some time to find their tongue again. "Hoss, why did they do that? I thought that in our region that wouldn't happen with the Indians. There is no tribe that attacks settlers or farms any longer. Since the matter with Kajika, we have lived peacefully with them."

Hoss went to one of the wagons and picked up a half-burned arrow. Furiously, he broke it into many small pieces. Then he turned back to his brother. "Joe, those weren't Indians who have done this." 

Stunned and amazed, Joe looked around to glance back at Hoss again. "Of course it were Indians. There are arrows everywhere and there ... there's even a bow."

Hoss grabbed his little brother by the arm roughly and pulled him with him. It could be seen how Koko's husband had to pull himself together to keep his anger and his pain under control. "Joe, do you see even one settler who has survived?" 

Too affected with what he had seen and too shocked at how his brother spoke to him, Joe just shook his head. "Then tell me why the Indians first gathered their dead warriors and then left them just lying there?" 

Hoss pointed to seven Indians, who were lying a little off the camp. He just went to look at Joe when his eyes got stuck on one of the Indians. Hoss took a deep breath and walked towards the lifeless body. His heart was in his mouth and quietly he prayed that it wasn't true what he had just seen. Joe also went to the place where the Indians lay.

First quietly but then very loudly Joe's big brother cursed. "Damn it, …. damn it!" 

"Hoss, what's going on?" 

Hoss grabbed Joe by the collar and pulled him closer to the dead. "Joe, don't you recognize him?" 

Loudly swallowing Joe only whispered. "I don't know who that is." 

"That's the father of Amarok."

He let go of his brother and walked up and down. "Why should Amarok attack the settlers?" 

Joe stumbled several steps back as Hoss yelled. "Joe, you still don't understand? These weren't the Gosiute or another Indian tribe! Not only that they wouldn't just leave their dead behind! Did you see any unshod horse here? Or traces? Did you see any dead horses here anywhere? Did any settler die by an Indian arrow?"

"But ..." Joe still couldn't control his emotions. "... why shouldn't we think it was the Indians and what does Amarok's father do here?" 

"Damn Joe, do you really just get when a new girl's moving to town and nothing about what's going on around you?" 

"Hoss ...!"

Several times Hoss took a deep breath and then put his hand on Joe's shoulder. "Sorry, Joe. I ... I'm just too shaken about what has happened here and if we don't act quickly, what's going to happen." 

"I don't understand what you mean, Hoss."

"Joe, like you, everyone will instantly think the Indians are responsible for this massacre. They'll soon know that it's ..." He pointed to the old Indian. "... about the Gosiute. Noone would bother asking why they did it but they would immediately cry for revenge and retribution. Do I really have to explain to you what that means?"

Joe's breathing became faster. "The village …" 

"The army would have no more problems to evacuate the village of the Gosiute because there would be hardly any Indians left. They would have been killed by the mob a long time ago. And Amarok would certainly not watch his tribe being attacked." 

When Joe realized the full extent, he had to fight with his nausea. "Why? ... Who ...?"

Hoss gave him no answer. Of course, he had a suspicion. But would Curt go so far? If so, it would mean that he wasn't working alone any longer. Because just he and Mitch on their own couldn't have done this here. For this he had to have had help. Like Adam, Hoss asked himself what the target of Curt was. What he wanted to achieve in the end? To ruin Adam's good reputation? But what would he get? Was satisfaction a sufficient reason for this massacre? Hoss knew he hadn't got the time to think about it. He had to get rid of the traces that led to the Gosiute. Only then would they be able to prevent worse things.  
"Joe, ... we must hurry now before others will notice what has happened here." 

With his hand on his belly, Joe looked at his brother with wide eyes. "What shall I do?"

"We have to see if we can get one of the wagons ready. Then we collect everything that points to the Indians and bring the bodies to the farm. You then ride to Adam and tell him to come to me right away."

More and more Joe had to fight with his nausea. At the thought that he had to search the camp, he couldn't restrain himself. He ran to the next tree, leaned forward and emptied his stomach. Breathing and sweating heavily, he stood with his hands on his thighs for a while. Hoss had briefly been with him, saying he should take the time to gather himself again. He would start to clear the tracks. Very slowly, Joe straightened. Again and again he had to breathe deeply and exhale, until he had calmed down.

Joe couldn't deny that he was grateful that his brother had taken over all the work. Not because Joe was too lazy but he had pretty bad problems with the pictures he had seen here and with that smell that got worse and worse. So he ran down to the lake to pour some water into his face and rinse his mouth to get rid of the bad taste. Again and again he dipped his hands into the water and placed them on his face.

In time, he understood more and more what the whole incident meant and now he also understood what Hoss was afraid of. Even if they managed to eliminate every trace that led to the Gosiute, the big question was how Amarok would react when he learned that his father had been killed. Joe had now caught himself so far that he could go back to Hoss to help him. He rose and remained in astonishment when he heard a low hum. He followed the sound in amazement. His mouth remained open as he looked behind the bush.

"Hoss, ..."

It was just a whisper. Joe was almost tongue-tied. "Hoss, ..."

Of course, Hoss wouldn't hear him this way. He wouldn't even hear him if he was calling out louder. He was too far away. Joe turned around and ran as fast as he could back into the camp.

They had driven the wagon down to the river. Hoss had covered the corpses of the Indians as good as possible so that noone could recognize immediately what was on the back of the loading area. As gently as possible, Hoss had put the children in the wagon. But when he went to take the child out of the woman's arms she pressed the kid tightly to her and looked at him with angry eyes. So Hoss decided to leave the child with her. As with the children, they could also see fear and uncertainty with her, since they didn't all know what was going to happen to them.

Before Joe got on his horse, he joined his brother and spoke very softly to him. "We can't just leave the dead settlers behind. What are we going to do?" 

Briefly he pointed with a turn of his head to the woman and the four children.

"Joe, we can't bury them now. We've got no time. We need to get the Gosiute home but also the survivors. Noone must know that they exist." 

Seriously, Hoss looked at his little brother. "Joe, they are the only witnesses who can confirm that it wasn't the Indians. Who knows if the woman can recognize the people who are responsible for it? They are in great danger. That's why we must be very careful. I'll take them to Adam and you'll ride into town and get Tom and Doc Martin. But Joe, ..." Hoss looked at him with a very insistent look. "... try to attract as little attention as possible. If anyone asks you, think up something. Adam's back, or one of the workers has been injured, Tom, who wanted to have a new horse for a long time, ... did you understand me? This is about more than one human life."

Hoss slapped his brother's arm and looked up at him encouragingly. "Joe, you can do it. You're not a child anymore. You can show us now that you're a man."

With very mixed feelings Joe climbed into the saddle. Both were silent until their paths separated. Joe rode to town and Hoss continued to his brother's house.

XX

Hoss hadn't expected anything else. When he told his brother what had happened, only the twitching of Adam's cheekbones could be seen. The brothers were standing outside the house while Giovanna and Bridget had taken in the woman and the children. All five hadn't said a word during the trip. The two boys could surely tell more precisely what had happened. Hoss had estimated them at an age of about four or five years. But all hope lay with the woman. When the shock had left, she could certainly tell what she had seen. Hoss saw Adam carefully lifting the blanket on the bodies. His cheekbones moved faster. Then he let go of the blanket and moved away from the wagon. 

"Adam, ..."

Ignoring his brother, Adam went on. Bridget, who had come out of the house by now, looked questioningly at Hoss. "Who's there in the wagon, Hoss?" 

"Amarok's father." 

Bridget tried to remain calm. "Who are the woman and the children?"

In short, Hoss summarized what they had discovered and that Joe was on the way to get the Doc and Tom. Bridget looked at Adam, a little distant from the house, his hand in front of his eyes and his head lowered. Bridget winced just like Hoss when Adam suddenly put his head back and let out a loud cry. Bridget was about to run to him when Hoss stopped her. His sister-in-law pulled her arm away. "Bridget, you know him. He doesn't like anyone to be near now. He deals with that all by himself." 

"Yes, if I don't go to him, he'll deal with the matter on his own again. You can already see that he's building a big thick wall. But Hoss, this time I'll be on the right side. For not only he will need me in the next few weeks but I will also need him." 

Without waiting for Hoss to give her an answer, she went to her husband. Surprised, by what Bridget meant by her words, he looked after her.

XXX

Adam still had his head tilted back. His breathing went much too fast but it had done well to scream out all the rage and pain that was in him. He looked forward again as he felt someone touching his hand gently. Bridget stood in front of him and looked into his eyes. Without saying a word, he took her in his arms and held her tightly. Adam not only gritted his teeth but also closed his eyes tightly. After a while Bridget broke from the embrace and put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his face close to her. She spoke softly to him. "Adam ... we will survive even this time. Together we will do."

Slowly Adam opened his eyes. All his churing emotions could be seen there. Gingerly, she wiped a tear from his face. "They killed his father. They just killed him to challenge me ..." For a moment he wasn't able to continue. "... and not just he had to die. Hundreds of settlers were killed and I don't know why. Why doesn't this bastard come to me and just challenge me?"

Like Adam, Bridget also had to fight with her emotions. She too was very aware of what it meant when Adam would bring Amarok's father and the warriors back to the village. Not only the danger still exists that there might still be something among the settlers who pointed to the Gosiute but also the question of how the chief of the Gosiute would react. Could he just silently accept what had happened, or would there be a riot? "I also have no idea what he wants to achieve. But what I see is that he's trying to make you lose control of everything that's important to you and you mustn't allow that. Build your wall. Protect yourself. The only way we have to prevent any chance that he will win." 

Adam put his forehead against Bridget's and wiggled slightly with his head. "You tell me to build a wall?"

"We're not going to make it any other way. Because if Curt realizes that he hasn't reached his goal, he will strike again and I really don't want to imagine what he will do. What can still be an increase from what he did with the settlers and the Indians anyway?"

Again, this rage rose in Adam, the rage he fought all his life over and over again. Before he went to Amarok today he had to get this rage back under control. Otherwise, he would never find the right words to stop Koko's father from doing something rash. His honor had been already pretty hurt by the incident of the foals. Though it wasn't only about him but also about what the tribe would decide. Even if Amarok would bite the bullet and not avenge the death of his father, it wasn't certain that the tribe shared the same opinion. If the elders council listened more to the war chief, Amarok could only agree. So not only Adam had to find the right words but also Koko's father.

"Do I stand a chance, Bridget? You can see it by your brother. He talks to me only about things that concern the company and I don't even know why that is so."

"You have to keep fighting. You can't give up now. This is about more than a piece of land or a tribe. Adam, this is about trust, friendship and mutual respect. Amarok and you cannot stand back and watch as Curt destroys everything you both have been building up for years. Look at our family. Our children, ... if you don't fight together, to preserve all that, what will ours and their future look like? How will the future of Hoss' and Simon's family be? And how will the future of the Gosiute be?" Bridget had to take a break. "... And the matter with Frederic will also be clarified. At some point he has to talk about it. Giovanna won't watch that much longer. It's not just that he's not talking to you, he's almost never here."

Adam closed his eyes again and pulled Bridget closer. "Bridget, I'm afraid. Afraid that everything collapses. Afraid that I ... that we cannot do it." 

She leaned closer to him. "You are strong. You can do it. We can do it. All together."

He took a deep breath and after he had looked her in the eyes again, he gave her a kiss, then turned to the house. "Let's go in to wait for Tom and Paul. Maybe the woman can tell us something." 

Arm in arm they went to the house.

XX

With very mixed feelings Adam led the wagon to the village. Hoss had offered to accompany him but he had refused. He had to pull it through alone. Adam would tell Amarok everything. Even that he assumed Curt having his fingers in the pie again. The next few hours would determine the future of the Gosiute. If they choose the path of revenge, Adam couldn't do anything for them. The army wouldn't pay any attention to whom the land belonged on which the Indians lived.

The moment Adam stopped the wagon, Amarok had already approached him. And not just him. Everyone felt something had happened. Just as Adam came to the village, it wasn't a question of goodwill visit. Adam slowly tightened the reins and got off. Only with great difficulty he managed not to look down but to look into the chief's eyes.

"What brings you to me, Wynono?" 

He knew it already ... somehow Adam felt Amarok knew it already. Now he had to manage to keep calm. Not to show the restlessness in him. "I'm bringing you some of your young warriors and ..." his jaw twisted, "... your father."

Not a single emotion was to be seen or felt on Amarok. It felt like an eternity for Adam before the Indians turned his eyes away from him. Then, with his head held high, he walked to the wagon and pulled the blanket away. At first there was only a slight murmur of the warriors standing around, which grew louder. It wasn't until Amarok raised his hand that silence returned. "I will listen to you, Wynono."

The chief hadn't looked at Adam. His gaze was fixed on the lifeless bodies on the wagon.  
"They were shot."

Of course this statement wasn't enough for the chief. He turned to Adam and then looked at him with a glance that Adam had never seen before from Koko's father. Bridget was right. Today it was more than about the fate of the Gosiute. Today would also decide how the relationship between Adam and Amarok would go on.

"They were shot and used to fake an Indian attack on a settler's trek." 

"Do you know the men who are responsible and are they already in jail with your friend?" 

Adam shook his head very slowly. "No, they haven't been arrested yet because we don't know exactly what happened. And yes, I think I know the man who killed your father and the young warriors."

"And why isn't he with your friend, the Sheriff?" 

"There's no evidence to incriminate him." 

"Seven men can't have attacked an entire trek. So there have to be witnesses, or is the white man too cowardly to testify against his own race?"

Now it started. Now Adam had to choose his words carefully. Not only mourning dominated the man who was as important to Adam as his own father. Now Amarok had to show his tribe that he was not only a wise chieftain but also a strong one. "There are only five survivors of the trek. Four small children and a woman. But so far they haven't said a word."

"Amarok, let me take the best warriors and look for the man who has no honor. We do not need proofs to be brave like the white man." 

The warriors of Gosiute cheered at the words of Kwahu, who had joined the chief. His gaze was no different than Amarok's. More and more warriors lined up at both Indians and showed their agreement to going on the hunt for Curt and his men. Too much they felt hurt in their honor by their deeds and the death of the young warriors and of Amarok's father shouldn't remain unpunished.

For the first time in all these years, Adam felt uncomfortable in the village. Everything was now down to Amarok.  
"When will the army come to our village to drive us out without the proof which is so important to the white man?" 

"They won't come here. Hoss has eliminated all the traces that might indicate an attack by Indians." 

"How can you be so sure that nothing was overlooked? Did you convince yourself in person?"

"Kwahu is right, Wynono. Have you been to the place? How can you be sure that not more untruths were already spread about my tribe?" 

"I wasn't there but I trust Hoss that he didn't miss anything. And no, I don't know what has been spread or will be still."

"Amarok, that's the second time our honor has been offended and now your father and our young warriors have had to lose their lives. We can no longer simply watch what the white man does to us. He already commands enough. We can not keep silent. The white man took our land. He has destroyed whole tribes. He has made sure that we can no longer go wherever we want. And now you just want to watch how he takes our pride?"

Kwahu took a step toward Adam. "How far do you still trust your Chaska? Do you think he will stand up against his own race when they come and tell us we must go to a reservation because we are murderers and thieves?"

Again the words of Kwahu were cheered and only when Amarok raised his hand the warriors fell silent again. Now it was Amarok, who stood very close to Adam. Their eyes were only fixed on each other. They didn't exchange words. Their eyes were talking. But when Amarok addressed his warriors, Adam didn't know whether they had just taken their leave, or whether they would continue their joint fight.

"I will consult with the Council of Elders and the War Chief. We will only leave the tipi to pay our respect to our brothers and our former chief."

The tribe welcomed the decision of their chief and they immediately began preparations to lay their dead to rest according to their tradition. Amarok was now alone with Adam. Still, they hadn't finished eye contact. "You will now leave our village and not return. You will hear the Council's decision."

Adam took a deep breath. His voice couldn't hide his anger. "Amarok, don't do it! Don't surrender to your anger. Don't make the same mistake as Kajika." 

Just as Adam couldn't suppress his emotions, the Indian also couldn't suppress how much he despised what had happened. "What are my people to endure next? I have been silent for a long time. For a long time I have been able to hold back the wrath of the young warriors. But Wynono, now the white man has gone too far. Kwahu has chosen the right words. The white man can take much from us but not our pride."

"Then it was all in vain?"

Adam's voice grew louder. "Then all you taught me was just a lie? Wasted time? Have I fought the anger in me over and over again, in order to surrender to it in the end? Was it in vain that I have more than once almost lost my life to protect you? To defend your culture against the white man?"

Although Adams breathing was very fast, he spoke quietly again and now had his emotions under control. "Did I always stand up in vain against my own father to help my other father?"

Adam slowly shook his head. "Even if everything isn't important to you all of a sudden I would and will always do it again and again. Because only this way is the right way and I will go on, even without you."

Koko's father still didn't move. "So leave the village now, for if we don't continue this way together, we will take no regard for any white man." 

"Yes, I will leave, Amarok. But remember, last night not only innocent Indians have lost their lives."

Adam walked past Amarok to the wagon. Just the last two corpses were taken down, when Aponi joined him. "Wynono, his soul mourns at this moment just like your soul. He also sees what it might mean to his tribe and you both when the Council chooses the wrong way. But it's no longer up to him. He just couldn't ignore the fact that the Gosiute are used to destroy you. If he had now opposed his warriors, the tribe would be broken apart and there would have been a riot in any case. So he has the opportunity to find the right words so that you can continue your way together. But Wynono ...," tightly she pressed his hand. "... you have to find this Curt quickly. If he once again accuses the Gosiute of something they haven't done, Amarok won't be able to help you." 

Adam looked past Aponi to the tent where the fate of the Indians was about to be discussed. "I know Aponi and that's something I'm afraid of. I'd lose my family."


	97. Chapter 97

"Well my sunshine, how was school?"

Adam had just tied Sport before his father's house when Sarah came out of the door. She had lowered her head and didn't answer. Worried, Adam knelt before her and lifted her chin. "What's the matter, Winona? Did you have trouble with Pa?"

She shook her head and tried not to look into his eyes. "If you don't tell me what's bothering your soul I cannot help you. And you know, if you don't see the right wa... "

She pushed him so hard in the chest, that he tipped backwards and could only prevent, with difficulty, that he didn't bump onto the ground. Sarah had lowered her head again and clenched her hands into fists. He could imagine what his sister was fighting. He stood up, took her in his arms and put her on the table on the porch. "It's about the Gosiute, isn't it?"

She bit her lip and nodded and Adam wondered what the children had seen. In fact, they had decided to tell them that the Gosiute were right now busy with the preparations for a great and important celebration, so no strangers and Whites could get into the village and that even he or Hoss couldn't visit Amarok at that time. But even as Aiyana had looked at him at his explanation, he knew that she didn't really believe his words. Yesterday he had seen the little tribe gather in the barn. It had taken a long time for him to see them come out again and the mood of the six children was no better than before. Even at dinner Bernardo and Aiyana were very quiet.

"Sunshine, you'll see, soon you can go back with your friends to the village."

"You've lied to us."

She hadn't lifted her head. Only when she heard him take a deep breath, did she lift it slowly. Very seriously, she looked into her brother's eyes. "You lied to ME. Aiyana says you are the son of Amarok and if so, you can participate in every ceremony and ritual. In the eyes of the Indians you are one of them. They would never exclude the chief's son unless they don't look at you as one of theirs."

Adam put his hand to his eyes and thought about what to say to his sister. He couldn't tell her the whole truth. Not all what had happened to the settlers. But it should have been clear to them that the children would ask pretty quickly why they weren't allowed to go to the village and why they weren't to play alone in and around the forest. He took his hand down and looked into the palm of his hand, as if there it would be written what he should tell Sarah.

"Yes, you're right. I didn't quite tell the truth but I didn't lie. Amarok and his tribe are performing a ritual. They follow a long tradition. An important decision has to be taken and they have been discussing it for a few days. The council of the elders and Koko's father have gathered and mustn't be disturbed during the talks. Not even Koko and her mother are allowed to visit Amarok right now. Since I'm not living in the village, I could tell them my opinion but I mustn't participate in the decision. Nor can the warriors from the village. We all have to wait for Amarok to speak to us again."

With narrowed eyes and lips pressed tightly together, Sarah looked at him closely. "Will you tell me what's it all about?"

"I can't, little sunshine."

His sister's attitude hadn't changed. "Is that the reason why all adults are so quiet and strange? Sally said that they have all been happy about the baby but that her mother also cried a lot and Simon isn't very happy either. Even Koko is so different."

Adam put his hand on Sarah's shoulder and looked at her very seriously. "Winona, even with your little tribe, there's an argument now and then. Even if you are all mad at each other at first and each one of you goes their own way, then, when the first storm has settled, you sit down together and discuss how you can take another way next time. This is exactly the case with the Gosiute. There is a dispute and now a way has to be found to settle this. We just have to be patient until Amarok fights the storm that's over the village."

Sarah didn't take long to understand the words of her brother until she realized that it was a very strong storm, because she had never seen her brother or the others so worried. "And if the storm will win? Then we can never go back to the village?"

With his hand on the chain, Adam looked up into the sky. As in the past few days, he asked the Great Spirit not to allow the wrong way to be chosen. Since the talks were lasting quite a long time, it was a sign that they didn't all agree. "I trust Amarok and that he can find the right words to deal with this storm. I believe that you can go on an excursion with the canoes in the Summer holidays."

Even when he'd tried to talk to her as confidently as possible, Sarah could see exactly how worried Adam was. "Wynono, can you take me in your arms? I'm scared."

He picked her up from the table and held her close. "Everything will be fine again. We just have to believe it, little sunshine."

XXXX

Adam had been sitting with his sister on the porch for some time and he just kept on holding her in his arms. They hadn't talked much but he had realized that it had helped Sarah already to sit with him and be held. Then he could persuade her to walk down to his house and help Little Joe and the little tribe to build the tipis. Since they could no longer go to the village, Adam had suggested that they could put up two tipis in the garden. With the help of Little Joe and with a lot of zeal - with some luck – they would finish the first.

At first still quite hesitant but then with a little better mood Sarah ran to her friends. With his hands in his pockets, he looked after her and let his thoughts run wild. So he was pretty startled when his father touched him on the shoulder.

"Were you going to visit me, son, or just your sister?"

"I wanted to see you." He took his hands out of his pockets and smiled at his father. "I wanted to give you the last papers and ask if I should pick up the first things for the girls. They can also sleep with us today. Then you can get ready in the morning, before I get you to town."

Ben looked at him. "Adam, shouldn't I rather stay here, or at least Emillia?"

Vigorously, Adam shook his head. "No Pa, the contract is too important and I'm getting along here quite well."

"Adam, since you asked me, a lot has happened. I have a guilty conscience that now also Sophie and Sarah are going to live with you. Isn't it getting too much for Bridget?"

Now Adam put his hands in his back pockets and turned to his house. "Yeah, it's getting crowded but you also know that Bridget was always the one who opened the door for anyone who needed our help and with the help of Giovanna and Cholette we're going to get everything settled."

Now it was Ben who shook his head. "Don't you realize the problems, or do you just push everything back in your mind that descends on you?" Ben pointed to Adam's house. "You have a woman and four children to live with you, who have experienced – God-knows-what. You have a brother-in-law who doesn't speak to you. He doesn't even talk about when he's going to build a new house. You have a madman on your heels who wants to destroy you and most likely to kill you and I won't talk about the small, impending Indian uprising, which is going to affect half of my family."

Adam didn't look at his father, nor did he move. Still his eyes were focused on his house. "I see all this very well but I will stand my ground. Yes, it's not an easy time but I won't do Curt the favour and break down. I don't despair when I think of all that has happened or still may happen. The days pass like leaves in fall flying in the wind and the days return with pure skies and splendour of the woods. Every corn will be awakened and so will be life."

He took his hands out of his pockets and turned to his father. "What's happening around me will end again and I will emerge stronger from it. For even if a great deal of suffering has broken upon us and the end is certainly not yet in sight, I'm going to learn a lot from these days that I will need for the path of my life."

Ben straightened up and breathed heavily but before he could say anything, Adam snapped angrily at him.

"Pa, you don't want to tell me again that all I do is - how did you say that – frills and furbelows? I ... "

With his hand on his son's arm, Ben smiled lightly. "Please calm down, Adam. Do you think after all these years I haven't even realized what it all means for you? Therefore my question. Whether I shouldn't better stay here. Not only because of Sarah and Sophie but also because of you." Quite surprised at Ben's reaction, Adam tilted his head. "Even if you have the impression of being very strong and controlled at the moment, I know exactly what it means to you when Amarok makes the wrong decision."

Ben could see that he was right when his son closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly. He put his hand on his shoulder. "I would like to be with you and help you to cope."

This time, it wasn't hard for Ben to deal with the long break until Adam opened his eyes again and spoke to him. "Thank you Pa, ... but you really will help me best when you go to Sacramento. I firmly believe that Amarok will go the right way."

Several times Ben slapped Adam's arm encouragingly. "Fine, then that's final and you'll take us to the coach tomorrow."

"Yep."

Ben's head turned back to Adam's house. "Has the woman talked to you in the meantime?"

"No, unfortunately not yet. Her name is Rose. Craig, the eldest of the children, has given us their names. Unfortunately nothing more yet. We don't even know their surnames, so Tom, of course, has a hard time finding anything out."

"Didn't the boy at least tell what happened?"

"As I said, he doesn't talk much but it must have been bad. You can see that from Rose. She cares lovingly for the children and helps Bridget and the others wherever she can but she doesn't say a word. She just hums softly. Craig speaks only the absolute necessary and expresses his pain by constantly struggling with Chesmu and not wanting to listen to Bridget or me. Amy is very quiet and always looks outside as if she's waiting for someone. Only Robert seems to be fine with everyone. Well and Eaton is just too small to exactly know what has happened."

Again Ben just looked closely at his son for a while. "You have put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders but I'm glad I can help you this time. So don't hesitate to ask me if you need support. I'll be there. Especially now, when the preparations for the cattle drive are in full flight."

"I will certainly need your help, Pa."

"Fine. Then let's go inside and discuss the last formalities for Sacramento."

XXX

Proudly but without big emotion, he raised the leather skin and entered the tipi. Instantly all eyes were fixed on him and a murmur could be heard. He knew what he was doing, was disregarding all the rules that were to be followed in such a process. But since no decision had been made after more than a week, he had decided to take this action. He had consciously dressed the same way he knew from his childhood. As in former Summers, he only wore his pants. Around his neck, he had put some of his chains. This way he stood at the entrance and looked at the men who were sitting in the tipi.

Slowly Amarok rose and came towards him. "I don't know if I should say you are brave to come here or you are foolish and mindless to disturb us."

"No, I deliberately came here and I'm still in control of my senses but your mind seems to be confused that you don't see what you are doing."

Again a whisper went through the tipi and Amarok could be seen trying hard to pull himself together. Jenkins unstrapped the papoose and placed it on the wall of the tent, then he looked back at the chief. "You speak of pride and honour, I wonder who of you can still speak these words in a few weeks without being ashamed."

"Only because you are a good friend of my tribe and in your veins flows the blood of my people, I will forgive you these words but it is better for you to go now."

Jenkins didn't move an inch. He also wasn't impressed by the words of the Indian. "Amarok, can you remember our first talk? Then I told you that you are an intelligent and wise chieftain and therefore you should know that what you've got right here doesn't exist any more."

Pelipa's husband went to the papoose, took the sleeping child and handed it to the chief. "This is the right way to fight the White Man. To show him that we are too wise and too proud to take his way. For the question is, who is the savage of us? The one who kills without thinking, or the one who tries to walk the peaceful way."

Now he pointed to the child in Amarok's arms. "This is Tiponi. Without you and Wynono she wouldn't exist. Without you, there wouldn't be Travis and Nick and without these children there will be no longer one tribe."

The Indian's face was still unaffected. "Nice words, Hok'ee but they aren't heard by the right people and if so, then certainly not understood. The White Man doesn't want to have peace with us. He has only one goal - to destroy us and our culture."

"I agree with you and your words but you haven't left your village for a long time to visit other tribes, or you'd see what I see."

Amarok's voice grew louder and deeper. "And why am I not able to visit my brothers and sisters? Because the White man dictates to us where we have to live and my warriors and I can no longer ride through the prairie light-heartedly."

"Amarok, if you want your young warriors to be able to hunt buffaloes for many generations, what do you have to do?"

Amarok snorted a little derogatorily. "There will be no more buffaloes because the White man has killed them for fun and greed for power. He needed the vacant land for his iron horse."

Jenkins took a step forward. His voice was quieter. "It's not bad that there are no more buffalo, Amarok, because there will be no more young warriors either."

"But we cannot be silent and just accept what happened. We must show in fight that we are proud people and that we cannot be misused for barbaric purposes."

"You already have a fight, a very important fight."

For Jenkins, it was good that he had grown up among Indians, so he knew their reactions and wasn't intimidated by their looks or gestures. He didn't feel uncomfortable in the situation, because if Amarok hadn't wanted to listen to him he would have been thrown out of the tipi long ago.

"And what did I achieve? Not very much. One act and my people would now have to suffer without the timely intervention of my daughter's husband."

"Look what you hold in your arms and look around. You have already achieved a lot and that's only because you have trusted a little boy. With him, you have created something that has good prospects, if you don't give up at your first serious ordeal. Amarok, peace never sets in surprisingly. It doesn't fall from the sky like rain. It comes to those preparing it."

Since he had entered the tipi, it was the first time that he saw the chief ponder his words. Now Jenkins knew he was on the right track. He could be even bolder. Amarok had his eyes pointed to Tiponi. "Wynono and you can proudly say that within a short time you have managed to form a generation that accepts your culture and also lives it. I moved around quite far in the country and have never seen so many children of the White man who speak the language of our people. Who want to understand what's behind our words. Who aren't afraid to come to a village to get to know a life unknown to them. No, these children are afraid that they won't be able to do this in the future, as you might take the wrong way because of a single man."

Gently Jenkins stroked his daughter's head. "I'm very grateful to Wynono for having walked with you this way and continuing it. You attach more importance to the action of one man than to the deeds of your son. Do you know that against my advice he left himself open to any risk last year to continue your way and to prepare peace between our peoples?"

Amazed, Amarok looked at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, Hok'ee."

"Wynono bought land last year. He has bought a lot of land but not all the land he has bought to work with it. He also bought land where the tribes live that were to be expelled. And then he has ridden to the villages, notwithstanding the fact that he was lucky, as a White man, that he has made it that far. He told them that he bought this land for Mother Earth, to return it to her again and now the tribe can decide which way to go. The old way and continue fighting against the White man with guns to end up losing, or to say with a proud feeling: Yes, you don't understand us and our culture but we will continue to live on our land. We can no longer use the vastness of the prairie but here we have fertile ground and our home. You will still know our tribe for generations."

"The man named Curt has killed our young warriors and my father only to take revenge on Wynono. Their death was utterly pointless. It was cowardly and abominable."

"It was and the four young children who are living at Wynono's will surely see and condemn that later. They won't understand why seven proud warriors and a hundred innocent settlers had to die for one man that night."

It was quiet in the tipi. Not only Amarok thought about the words that had been exchanged between him and Jenkins in the last few minutes.

"You reached out for Wynono's hand and he accepted it. He's now handing his hand to our people. And despite everything he has experienced so far, he doesn't withdraw his hand. He will always pass on what he has learned from you and his children and their children will also pass it on. But if you withdraw your hand, it will only be tales. His children's children will never have the opportunity to get to know life in a village. Because there will be no village left."

Jenkins took his daughter and put her in the papoose. But he didn't buckle it but held it in his hand and went to the tipi's exit. With his back to the men and Amarok, he stopped. He didn't turn around when talking. "My tribe wasn't lucky enough to have a man like Wynono by its side. When the road of my life will end, there will be noone who has seen my tribe and the life in my village at first hand. My tribe will then only be a part of a story like the picture on my back and I must hope that this story will be proudly carried on and we won't be forgotten. If you go the wrong way and don't tell your young warriors that victory can't be achieved with weapons but the enemy is defeated only if you could win him as a friend, then you can just hope that there will be someone who tells your story."

Jenkins lifted the leather skin and left the tipi.

XXXXX

Adam gazed after the coach and his eyes fell on the saloon. He had a lot to do today but he could still have time for a beer. Despite the early hour, the saloon was well attended. Now it didn't go unnoticed in Virginia City that nearby much gold had been discovered. Frederic and he couldn't complain. Their order books were so well stocked that they could hire two new employees in the past few months. If it was to go on like this they would soon have to look for a new office. With a bitter smile he drank a sip of his beer. But Frederic would have to talk to him more than two sentences. To this day there hadn't been an opportunity to talk about Frederic's problem and so far Adam had no idea what was wrong with his friend.

At his next sip, he looked into the mirror behind the counter and had to hold back the wrong wolf with all his strength, who jumped him with one leap. So he drank his beer and turned around slowly. Not only was his good friend Mitch sitting at the table, which might have upset Adam's peace. The reason why the wrong wolf appeared all of a sudden was Lewis, who was sitting next to him and what Adam had noticed. Very controlled Adam walked over to the table. The moment Lewis wanted to reach for his glass, Adam grabbed his wrist and pressed it onto the table. His voice was very quiet and very menacing. "We both know where you got this bracelet and who it belonged to. I swear to you when the time has come that I don't have to be silent any more, I'll knock every single tooth out of your filthy mouth and bring you to the right people and by no means I'm thinking of the sheriff."

Lewis laughed. "Are you too cowardly to do it right away? You wimp!"

He looked triumphantly at his cousin. Mitch, however, looked only a little surprised back and forth between Adam and Lewis and said nothing.

"Certainly not but I have patience and I know you are already starting to sweat."

Lewis' laughter didn't get any quieter. "Do you know how they have pleaded for mercy?"

Adam let go of the wrist and slowly, he crossed his arms and stopped in front of the table. "You want to provoke me to do it today? No chance, kid."

Now he looked at Mitch. "Hello, Mitch. Just as you look, you didn't fare badly during the last months. Did you sleep well, or do you still have ringing in your ears?"

Briefly, Adam was irritated because Mitch's concentration was still with Lewis. "Yes, I'm fine, Cartwright. Don't you have anything to do on your ranch that you can hang around here in the saloon this early morning?"

"Mitch, stop with the ramblings! Come on, you wimp, draw!"

Lewis had jumped up and pulled his gun. Adam stood at the table and looked at him with dark eyes. Mitch had raised his hands and leaned back.

"Put the gun away, Lewis."

Adam's eyes wandered to the left. There Tom stood with his gun in his hand, aiming at the cousin of Mitch. The laughter of Lewis died briefly, then he smiled slightly and put his gun back in its holster.

"Take it easy, Sheriff. Cartwright and I just made a little joke, didn't we, Cartwright?"

Adam took his arms down, rested his hands on the table and leaned forward. "Of course not, Lewis. Enjoy your beer. There won't be many you will be able to drink."

He straightened again and left the saloon. In front of Tom, he stopped briefly. "I'm waiting for you outside."

Tom nodded at him, exhorting Mitch and Lewis once again to not get up to any nonsense, if they didn't want to spend a night at his office. Then he went to his friend, who was waiting for him in front of the saloon.

Mitch leaned forward when he saw Tom walking out of the saloon. The laughter of his cousin died instantly as Mitch grabbed his hand and twisted it. "What's this about that bracelet and where did you get it?"

"Mitch, you're hurting me."

"Then answer me. Right now."

"I got it from an old filthy redskin that I wacked. Ouch Mitch, what are you doing?"

Mitch looked at him. "You tell me the whole story at once."

"Why should I? It was your decision, that you no longer want ... ouch, ... alright, I'll tell you."

Mitch let go of Lewis' hand and while he was talking, he rubbed his hand. "Mara had the idea to attack the settlers and to pin the blame on the Indians. As luck would have it, a few days later seven of these red-skinned pigs crossed our way and the old man of them had this bracelet. I thought it was somehow quite fancy. That's why I kept it. With a bullet in his head, he didn't need it anyway."

Stunned Mitch looked at him. "Mara, Curt and you ... you attacked the settlers?"

With the beer glass in his hand, Lewis leaned back and grinned. "There were a few others but we didn't need them any more, so we took our leave of them."

"Tell me, have you taken leave of your senses, or don't you realize what you just told me? How could you take part in such a thing?"

"What's the matter with you, Mitch? Are you really just a big mouth as Mara says?"

"No, my friend. I still have some sense up here." He tapped his forehead with his finger. "Curt and Mara are crazy. They kill anyone who stands in the way of their goals and if they no longer need you, you will join the settlers company. What did they promise you that you would risk to go to the gallows?"

Derogatively, Lewis exhaled loudly. "First they must be able to prove something to me. It's about money, pal. Lots of money. More than you can imagine."

"Oh, what the settlers had with them? For a fistful of dollars you kill hundreds of people?"

Again Lewis laughed loudly. Then he leaned forward and lowered his voice. "You have no idea. We want the money from the wimp."

"My dear Lewis, even if Adam isn't as poor as a church mouse, I wouldn't risk my life for a few thousand dollars."

"Oh Mitch, you'd better have stayed with us. Your old friend Adam has a little more than a few thousand dollars in the bank. There's not much known about it, but Mara had something to do with the guy from the bank last year and now guess what she happens to know."

Mitch shook his head. "Lewis, Mara never finds anything out by accident. Everything she says or does is thought through and planned. If you get involved with this woman, you're as good as dead."

Frowning Lewis looked at his hands. "Then the guy from the bank had no heart problems?"

"Definitely not. I'm sure that without Mara he would have had a long and fulfilled life."

Shrugging Lewis grinned again. "His bad luck. But back to your friend and the chance you missed because you didn't want to join us. The wimp bought a few silver mines a few years ago and was able to live well but since last year one of them has washed a nice little penny on his account every week. Cartwright is set for life.

He needn't lift a finger for the rest of his life. He could sit out at his ranch and let others work for him."

With his fingertips Mitch scratched his chin. "And you think Adam will give you the money that easily? You don't know him very well. Before that he will bump you off. Because the wimp has never been a wimp. If he wanted, he'd finish you off without blinking. After that, he would holster his gun and go eating a steak."

"So you have become a wimp, is that all you worry about? Of course, he won't just give it to us voluntarily and we don't just want the mine but also the land on which those filthy Indians live. The railroad is ready to pay us double if we also drive out this riffraff for them."

Now Mitch slowly understood what the matter was with the settlers. "But your plan hasn't quite worked out as it looks. As I have heard, it's assumed that the settlers were attacked by Comancheros. Whatever you did, Indians haven't been blamed for the attack."

Snarling, Lewis hit the table with his hand. "Yes, I've no idea what happened after we had left but we had actually left the Indians there. That's why I was supposed to come into town to keep my ears open for what happened. Especially because the rumour is circulating that some have survived the attack and are now living at the Cartwrights."

Mitch laughed. "You should keep your ears open? ... You're so naive, Lewis. If the people who live with Adam are really settlers, they are witnesses of what happened. Thus, they could also tell who was involved. That they know something, you can see by the fact that it's not officially being talked about them. Sweet Mara and Curt have only sent you to town for one reason. To see if you are being arrested right away. As long as you walk around freely, they don't have to worry that someone knows about them."

Shaking his head, Mitch shoved his chair back and stood up. "Lewis, I would make my will, if I was you because you won't be living for very long. Once the two don't need you any longer, you're only in their way. And Lewis, that was the last beer we will drink together. With someone who kills innocent women and children, I don't want to have no business with."

Laughing, Lewis shouted after his cousin. "Then join the wimp, you yellowbelly. Perhaps you're going to be best friends in your old age."

Shaking his head and with a grim glance Mitch left the saloon. Adam was standing there, talking to Tom. Mitch pushed Adam with a fierce blow in the back so that he stumbled a few steps forward. Before Adam could turn to him, Mitch had run on and Tom held his friend so he wouldn't do anything rash.

"Stay calm, buddy. You can't afford to keep me company for the next few days."

Adam managed to control himself to stay with Tom and not follow Mitch. "Tom, for just a moment, I wanted to take that Lewis to task and squeeze his neck."

"I can understand you, Buddy but we must have patience until this Rose talks to us. So far we have no proof that Curt is responsible for the attack. The bracelet doesn't prove anything and if we mention it, we would have to talk about the Gosiute. But as tense as they are at the moment, only a trifle needs to happen and Amarok can't stop his warriors. Adam, how long do such conversations usually take?"

"Depends ..." he ran his hand across his mouth and looked over Tom's shoulder and thought. "... it happens that they agree after only a few hours but also several weeks are not unusual, if they haven't yet come to any solution. Then they retreat into solitude to speak with the Great Spirit in peace."

The Sheriff nodded and put his hands on the belt. "Then I guess that's a good sign that they're still talking."

Adam tilted his head and smiled slightly. "You look quite done and when I look at your face, you have felt more than one fist in the last few days."

"Look around, Buddy. More and more people are coming to the town. We have so much to do that I had to hire a deputy. Steve and I are already thinking about looking for another one. Many who have hoped for the fast money have now arrived at reality and take their whole frustration out in town. Only last week we had to send two of the guys to the gallows. If we don't pay attention, then everything will slip out of my hand and the town will be dominated by guys such as Curt and Mitch."

Worried the friends looked at each other. "Tom, you know, you don't have to do this any longer." Adam tapped the badge at his friend's chest. "Someone else could take over the job."

The Sheriff looked down and then took the badge off. For a long time he looked at the badge in his hand. Then he closed his hand to a fist. "No buddy, that's my life." He opened his hand and put the badge back on his chest. "I wouldn't be happy if I had to sit in an office all day and work through papers. Besides, I don't understand the business we do." Tom took a few steps and looked down the street. "Buddy, I am truly grateful to you for having persuaded me to become your partner and although I don't contribute anything, you continue to look at me as a partner but I can't give up here. This is what I want to do until my head and my bones tell me I'm getting too old for the job. If I'm fortunate enough to stay alive for that long, then I'm going to have a beautiful life with my share. For now it's a good feeling to know that if something happens to me, Sybil and the children have been set for life." Grinning, he looked at Adam. "You're not going to stop either and just sit on your bench and look at your mountains."

Without a word, they shook hands and smiled. Then Adam whistled to Rusty and started to go to his carriage, when Tom called after him. "Buddy, as soon as I know more about the children and Rose, I'll come to you, and Adam ..." His face grew more serious, "... make sure that your small tribe always rides to school together. The long-established citizens of Virginia City know Aiyana but the people that arrives here at the moment, have no good opinion of Indians. I hope, after Summer, when Chesmu comes to school, we have a little more rest here."

"Thank you, Tom and I have full confidence that our sheriff will manage to do it. Take care, my friend."

He waved to Adam and but then rolled his eyes as he heard shots fired in the saloon again.

XXXX

Adam slowly approached his house. He had to smile when he got out of the saddle and tied Sport. Although they hadn't been able to visit the village for several weeks, they had left the two tipis in the garden. The children were playing here almost every day after school and when the big ones weren't there, the tents were occupied by the little ones. Neisha was still dressed in the clothes of the Indians, which she had gotten from Pelipa.

Adam had been so relieved when he heard from Koko that the Council had decided not to take the path of revenge. To this day, Amarok hadn't spoken to him yet and he hadn't visited the village. Koko had told him to wait for her father to talk to him. Too deep had the chief been affected with what had happened to his father and what that had almost meant to Adam and him. Only when the village was at peace again and Amarok knew that he could give in to his own pain, he had ridden into the mountains and hadn't yet come back. But Adam would continue to be patient. Too much linked him to the chief to make him angry to him because of what stood between them.

Adam stretched and tried to relax his back. He noticed clearly that he had worked too much during the last days. He opened and closed his left hand several times so that the slight tingling in his fingers would fade. In two weeks the trail would start and he had been talking to his father for a long time, what he should do now. Since the attack on the settlers it had become very quiet around Curt. As if he was waiting for Rose telling something about that night. But she still talked very little. She took care of the children but kept everything else apart. Ben and he were sure that Curt would strike again after the trail. Adam was unsure what exactly would happen. Since he was still very worried about his family, Hoss had promised to keep an eye on them all the time. So not only exhausting weeks would be ahead of Adam but also fear would be his constant companion on this trail. Fear of what he might have to expect when he came back home.

He opened the door and threw his hat on the sideboard. There was still enough time till evening. He could be working for another hour in the office and then he would deal with that devil of a horse who had thrown him four times yesterday. Today, that wouldn't happen to him. At least he hoped so. Grinning, he went into the office as he saw Amy standing in the dining room by the window. As usual she looked sadly outside. So he went to her and knelt beside her.

"Hello, Amy. Why aren't you out in this nice weather and play with Neisha and the others?"

The little girl kept looking out of the window. "Shall wait. On Mama."

Adam closed his eyes and put his hand to his mouth. Then he pulled himself together. At some point someone had to tell her. He knew from Craig that her mother's name was Gudrun but to this day Tom and the others hadn't been able to tell if the mother of the children was among the dead. But they all assumed that only Rose and the children had survived the attack. He took the girl's hand and spoke to her as gently and lovingly as he could. "Amy, you don't have to wait anymore. Your mother took another route. She can't pick you up in the near future."

Amy looked at him with her big eyes. "Shall wait. On Mama."

Adam had to swallow. "Yes, she said that and it's fine you're doing that but she had to go somewhere else and now Rose and we will take care of you."

Amy's eyes grew smaller and she pressed her doll closer. But she held on to Adam's hand. "Mama won't come?"

Slowly Adam shook his head. "But she's fine Amy and she would be very sad if she knew you were just looking out of the window to wait for her. She would like you to play with the other children and have fun with them." He ran his finger slightly over her mouth. "She would like to see and hear you laugh again. Because you have such a sweet laugh."

"Mama hears it?"

"Yes, she hears it, ..." He put her hand on his heart. "... she will always be with you with her heart and hear it."

Once again the girl looked out of the window, then smiled slightly for the first time. "If mom comes, you call?"

"Then I call you, Amy, and now go to the others."

She nodded, hugged him briefly and ran outside. Adam was crouching with his hand before his eyes and breathed deeply.

„Ičáya oyáȟʼaŋ."

Adam took his hand from his eyes when he heard Chesmu cursing loudly. Groaning, he rose, because he could imagine what was going on. He looked around the corner. Out in front of the bench, Chesmu and Craig faced each other, Chesmu looking at the grinning Craig furiously.

"What's going on here, Chesmu?"

Still angry and with a pout, Chesmu looked at his father. Then he pointed at Craig. "He's a bad boy."

With the palm of his hand, Craig hit the chest of Chesmu, so that he fell backwards to the bench. Before Chesmu was back up again to punch Craig, Adam stood between the two guys.

"Chesmu, you're best going to the others and I will talk to Craig."

"He's evil, até."

Encouragingly Adam stroked his son's hair. "Please go, Chesmu."

With a last dark look, Chesmu went to the other children. Adam sat down on the bench and looked at Craig, who was standing in front of him, his arms crossed, his eyes angry. As the boy had told, he was five years old. But when his birthday was, he couldn't tell, just as he didn't know exactly how old the others were. Also in this matter were their hopes with Rose. Craig hadn't settled here until today. If all this was true, he had just lost his parents and now his uncle and his aunt. No wonder he felt such an anger.

"Does it help?"

Craig's gaze remained unchanged.

"What?"

Adam tapped the boy's chest. "That it doesn't hurt so much here any more."

Craig turned away and looked in another direction. Adam got up and knelt before him. Carefully, he took Craig's arms down. He held one hand and placed it against his heart. "You know Craig, even with me was this rage and this pain in my heart. I too have lost my mother and not just one."

The boy looked at his hand on Adam's chest. With sad eyes he looked up. "It doesn't go away."

"No, it doesn't stop that fast. But it also doesn't go faster if you hurt others. Just as you always hurt Chesmu and the others."

Tears could be seen gathering in the boy's eyes. "Mom screamed. She called me and I could not help."

"I too could not help my mom, Craig. I was too small, just like you. I had watch her die just as you did. But Craig, even if you were bigger, you couldn't have done anything. Also my other mother died before my eyes and although I was much older, I could do nothing again. But I've learned to live with this anger and this pain in my heart. Today, there is only love when I think of her."

With the other hand Craig wiped his tears from his face. "Aunt Gudrun won't come back, will she, Adam?"

Instead of an answer, Adam shook his head. "It shall stop hurting, Adam."

"It will stop if you stop hurting the other children and get help from us."

Craig exhaled loudly and snuffled. "Please ... it shall stop ..."

Adam took Craig into his arms and held him tight. "You can cry out the pain. At any time. Bridget and I will be with you and take you in our arms and you will see, the anger and the pain will subside. Then you will only think with love about your parents and your uncle and aunt. Your heart will be able to laugh again."

Adam let Craig take the time he needed until he calmed down. All the time he had held the boy firmly in his arms. He himself had closed his eyes to protect himself from his own feelings.

XXX

Done but very relieved, Adam went into the kitchen. Craig, after he had calmed down and they had a little talk, went to Chesmu to apologize to him. Bridget stood with a bowl in her hand at the window and looked into the garden. With a grin he stood behind her and kissed her neck. "Have you changed your mind and would like to spend a night in the tipi with me? The children would certainly provide us with one."

Laughing, she shook her head. "I would like to know why you are so keen that we stay in a tipi."

He whispered softly to her. "In a tipi, the most mysterious things can happen."

"My dear Adam, I'd rather not ask what you mean by that and certainly not where you know that from."

Adam turned around and looked into her eyes. "You look tired. Is it all too much for you?"

She tried to smile but it could clearly be seen how difficult it was for her. "I've got enough help but Craig causes me some problems. This morning he annoyed the girls and when I wanted to talk to him, he threw the breakfast dishes to the ground. You realize how angry he is and I don't know how I can help him."

Lovingly, Adam looked at his wife and then took her back into his arms. "I've just talked to him and I think I've found the right words that he can deal with his anger differently. It will certainly not be better right away but if we help him, it will be easier for us every day."

She exhaled deeply. "I only feel that the chaos around us won't end. Adam, I had a visit from Dianne today."

Astonished, Adam looked at Bridget. "Dianne? What did she want here?"

Bridget closed her eyes and took another deep breath. Then she took his hand and looked at him pleadingly. "Adam, promise me to remain calm and not to tie your brother to the tallest tree you'll find."

Now it was Adam, who closed his eyes. Bridget didn't need to say anything. He could already imagine what Dianne wanted. "Please tell me that she was only here to cry about Joe because he wasn't dancing with her on Saturday."

"Shall I lie?"

Adam let go of her hand and wandered through the kitchen, trying to remain calm. "Do Joe and my father already know?"

"No. She hasn't talked with anyone so far. Adam, she's completely desperate and doesn't know what to do. She's just upstairs and is resting and I wanted to fix her a cup of tea. She is very afraid to tell her father, because he has always warned her about Joe."

With hands akimbo, Adam looked at her in disbelief. "You know Bridget, now and then my brother reminds me a lot of Frederic. Both of them plunge themselves from one chaos to the next without thinking and in the end all the others are to blame."

"Now it has happened and as with Frederic, we will find a solution here as well."

"As always. Then I'll go find my brother."

XXXXX

Adam got into the saddle and rode to the Ponderosa. On the way he stopped briefly at Tico and told him that he should get the horse of yesterday ready in about an hour. With the emotion he felt, he would quickly bring this devil to a halt. Adam didn't need to look for his brother for long, he just came riding in and with a wide grin he greeted Adam.

"Hey Adam, I got everything in town. I could hardly believe that the deliveries arrived on time. Did you actually see a new saloon op ... Hey, what's wrong?"

Adam had grabbed Joe's arm and pulled him into the barn. There he pushed him rather roughly against the wall. "Don't you tell me it happened in my house when you lived there!"

Joe rubbed the spot where his brother had grabbed him and looked at him in surprise. "What should have happened where?"

Angrily Adam walked up and down in the barn. "How can anyone be so stupid, Joe? Can't you be left alone for just a minute? Don't you think even once about what you're doing?"

Now Adam stood quite close to him. "For years, I talked to you again and again and you didn't take me seriously. Now we've got this mess."

Angrily Little Joe straightened to his full size. "If you would tell me what I did wrong in your eyes, I could say something about it. Aren't the fences where you would have liked them? Is the color of your saddlecloth not ... "

"Shut up, Joe ..." After taking a deep breath, Adam looked at his brother overly kindly. "Dianne's in our house. Can you imagine why the sweet gal just cries her heart out?"

Yet puzzled but then paler, Joe opened his mouth and then closed it again.

"I see you understand."

Joe's voice was just a whisper. "What am I going to do, Adam?"

"Figures, Joe. Now I have to come up with how you can solve your problem. What bad luck I can't marry her." Several times Adam tapped his forehead with his finger. "Think first, Little Joe and then throw your weight around."

"Stop it, Adam. You weren't any better. You too had to marry because you didn't think first."

Adam threw his hands up in despair. "Joe, you can't be my brother. He would know what he was doing. Joe, Bridget and I wanted to marry anyway but you don't even know if you really love Dianne."

"Of course I like her. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone out with her. "

"Joe, this isn't about like. I also like Giovanna but I wasn't looking for some fun with her."

Little Joe put his hands in his pockets and looked down. "I like Dianne more than the others but ... for heaven's sake, Adam, I know how much she's in love with me but I just didn't want to marry. Maybe in three, four years but not now."

Adam crossed his arms. "Well, now there will be no way around it and I wish you a lot of fun with the talk with Pa, not to mention Mr. Doohan."

Hesitantly, Joe's head came up. "Adam, can you ..."

Adam laughed loudly. "Act like a man but when it gets serious, ask big brother for help? Forget it. I'll come back to the house with you and take care that he doesn't shoot you right away but as I know Pa, he will forgive you more quickly than he ever did with me or Hoss."

He pushed Joe in the back and pushed him out of the barn door. "I haven't got all day."

Adam closed the front door. He didn't know what had been louder. The yelling of his father or the laughter of Hoss, who had just arrived. In any case, he was very happy that he lived in his own house. For what his little brother would be forced to listen to today would surely not be discussed in a low voice. Emillia had just taken him aside and said that she wanted to come down to get Dianne so they could talk about everything when Ben had calmed down.

Adam went to his horse when all the blood in his veins froze hearing the scream of Riccardo. His head shot in the direction of the paddock to which he was about to head to work with the bronco.

XXX

"I not think this is good idea."

"Bernardo, of course this is a good idea."

Quickly, Riccardo looked around. "This is the opportunity. Tico won't be back but in a few minutes and you'll see how proud Uncle Adam will be when I've managed to break a horse."

"He not be proud but very mad."

"Nonsense, he won't. Everyone says I am so much like him and he broke his first horse at the age of ... "

Bernardo raised his hand annoyed. "Yes, we all know. With ten years broken his first horse. You tell us every other day. But you're not dad. You are Riccardo."

Riccardo showed his cousin his arm. "But I already have really strong arms and Uncle Adam himself told me how amazed he is about how well I can work with the axe. Just think of how I broke William's jaw with only one blow."

With his hand Bernardo pointed to the horse, which was already standing in the gate. Tico had asked the boys to take care. He just wanted to get a new pair of gloves. "But that is not wood ... that's horse. Wild Horse."

With momentum Riccardo climbed up the fence and positioned himself. "You're not a cowboy like me. Now go and open the gate, when I give you the signal."

Reluctantly, Bernardo took his place. Very carefully Riccardo slid into the saddle. Several times he wrapped the thick rope around his hand. Just as he'd always seen it with the cowboys and his uncle. Then, looking at the horse's neck, he gave Bernardo the signal. Instantly, the horse jumped forward and the boy's head flew backwards, then immediately pushed forward again. Riccardo didn't succeed in concentrating on his legs or arms and he was thrown down in less than three seconds and flew through the paddock. With a scream he hit the ground hard. He raised his arm by reflex as the horse was approaching him with wild jumps.

XXX

Adam's gaze was directed out of the window. He stood in the living room and looked up at the mountains. He was still trembling when he thought of Riccardo's scream. He didn't want to imagine what could have happened if Tico hadn't been back at that moment. At the nick of time, he had managed to catch the horse and curb it before the boy had been trampled to death. So his nephew would probably get away with only a lot of bruises and a broken arm. At the moment Doc Martin was with him to look at him more closely. Tom had come out as well to see if Rose would talk to him today.

"Adam, he'll be okay and you're not to blame for the accident."

Bridget had laid her hand on his back and stood behind him. "But I always encouraged him to become a cowboy."

"And that wasn't wrong. We all know that Riccardo wanted to sit on a wild horse from his first day here. He has always been fascinated by working with the horses. So it's normal that he gradually is getting impatient. Especially if he wants to emulate his great idol who has broken his first horse at the age of ten."

"He could have died."

"That could have happened to you at that time, too."

"I had George with me."

"Then talk to him about it. He doesn't really know the story. All he knows is that you broke a wild horse. Nothing more."

Several times, Adam ran his hands over his face. "You seem very relaxed. Frederic will call me out to fight when he learns about it as he will surely blame me."

"Well, that's wonderful if he does." Astonished, Adam raised his eyebrows. "Well, you finally will get the opportunity to talk to him."

Groaning and laughing softly, he took his wife in his arms.

"Adam ... Bridget, can I talk to you?"

Adam took a step back but had his arm still on Bridget. "Of course Tom, what's it about?"

Nervously, Tom was playing with his hat. "Rose hasn't talked to me today either and it's simply not possible for us to assign the different things which have been destroyed by the fire to any bodies. We must now hope that at the station where the trek has gathered, we will find the books, showing us who joined there. So we will know at least who the children are. But that may take some time."

Adam shrugged. "Then that's the way it is."

The Sheriff looked down. "I ... I have received a telegram. The orphanages in California are all quite crowded. I can't give the four to one home. I have to split them up and Rose could be housed in a special hospital in San Francisco."

Adam looked at Rose, who was playing with Eaton in the living room. As she looked at him at that moment, Adam knew that she had been aware of what Tom had said. She looked at him expectantly. "We can't tear them apart and Rose should also have a familiar environment. In no case should you take Eaton from her. For even if she doesn't speak to him, he gets all her love." From the corner of his eye, he saw Rose smile and face Eaton again. "They can all stay with us."

Not only Adam but Tom, too, looked quite astonished at Bridget, who broke out of Adam's embrace and said loudly 'no'. "They cannot stay with us. That won't do."

"Bridget, ...?"

As he went to touch her arm, she shook her head and ran outside.

"They don't have to leave today, Adam."

Still very perplexed about the reaction of his wife, Adam only nodded to his friend.

"And Buddy, keep in mind that you can not adopt these children until we know who they are. So it may be that they return to their families when we find them. "

Adam touched Tom on his back as he went to follow his wife. "I'll get in touch with you, Tom."

He didn't take leave of his friend, nor did he look at him. He was busy wondering what was going on with Bridget.

She stood outside, her arms tightly wrapped around her body, looking to the mountains. Adam grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her gently. He was startled when he saw that she had been crying. She didn't say a word but let him take her in his arms and hold her tightly. By the time she had recovered she put her hand on his heart, not looking at him.

"How do you do that, Adam? When it comes to your feelings, you don't know how to behave and push each of us away. But if all around you lose control and one disaster after another happens, I've got the impression that you stand in the middle and you always keep your cool."

Smiling, he gave her a kiss on the head. "One must be the captain on this ship and lead us out of this hurricane."

Sighing, she leaned her head against his chest. "Don't you want to talk to me about what has been going on for weeks? It's not just the events around Curt that makes you fight with tears time and again. Don't you think I notice it at night? "

He felt her start to cry again and he held her a bit closer and stroked her back.

"She will die, Adam."

In a split second, his entire muscle tensed. "Who will die?"

It wasn't more than a whisper from Bridget. "My mother."

After he understood her words, he pushed her slightly away from him. "When?"

It broke his heart to see how much Bridget suffered. She had been so strong in everything that had happened so far and now he had the impression that her entire willpower had disappeared.

"Paul told her that she won't live to see next Spring. Something's wrong with her heart and it's getting weaker. If she gets a cold in Winter, she won't recover. And if, contrary to expectation, she's going to survive Winter, she won't be able to make it until Easter."

Adam pulled her back into his arms. "I'm sorry, Bridget."

They were silent for a moment and Bridget felt relief, just to be able to drop into Adam's arms. "How does Clement handle it?"

"He doesn't know. Only Koko and now you. She wants it that way. My father would stop all his political goals right away to be with her. But it's important to him that he's going to be there when Nevada should become independent. So that both of you can continue to serve the needs of the Indians."

"Bridget, she can't do that to him. He should know."

Now she looked at him tenderly. "Adam, for a long time my father and my mother no longer share this love that connects us both. He would have left her alone in Boston if that hadn't been bad for his reputation. You got to know that his status in Boston society was more important to him than his family."

"I had the impression that he has realized what is most important in life."

"To this he has lived and loved life in Boston too much. Not without reason, he immediately came to your suggestion to go into politics here. He hopes to regain his social position as he had in Boston."

With his hand he stroked her cheek softly and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "We can do it, Bridget. I'll be with you ..." For a brief moment, he stopped. ".. you won't have to deal with it alone."

"Has Tom left already?"

"Yes I think so."

She took his hand and closed her eyes again for a moment. "Excuse me, I just overreacted in the living room. I panicked at the thought that we wouldn't manage it all. Curt, my mother, Rose, the children, the quarrel with you and Frederic ..." She squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. ".. it will change even more, Adam and right now I got the feeling I'm not going to get it all settled. I don't know whether I'm coming or going."

"Bridget, as long as you don't tell me you'll pack bags and go back to Boston, we'll go through the heaviest storms together."

She closed her eyes and straightened her head. She spoke the words softly. "I'm expecting a baby again."

She didn't want to look into his eyes. Like her, he certainly wouldn't be excited about the timing but the days in San Francisco had left their mark. She felt his fingers on her chin as he raised her head. "Look at me, Bridget."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. "Haven't we once said we're never going to send a child away knocking on our door? We've never mentioned what door it might be. Now, as we see, we have five children who are looking for a home and we won't give away any of them. I'll talk to Hop Sing. Surely there will be a cousin somewhere who can help us and who knows, maybe Tom will find out something about the families of the four and they will leave us sooner than we like."

Not a moment longer could she look into his eyes. So she snuggled back into his arm and slapped her fists against his chest. "You're to blame, Bridget."

"What?"

Since she wasn't sure if she had misheard something, she tried to hold back her rising anger. When she saw his slight grin, she was even more confused. "If you hadn't run after me, you would now sit alone and peacefully in a small house and be preparing the next lesson."

She spoke the next words very slowly and with great emphasis. "I ran after you?"

He smirked, stroking a strand behind her ear. "Who wrote me letters and when I still didn't respond, visited me personally here?"

"Adam Cartwright, ..."

She didn't get any further because he had pulled her close again and kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Bridget and we will surpass what will be coming to us in the near future. And your mother's a fighter, she won't give up so easily."

Although she felt like weeping again, she smiled at him. "I love you, even though you are an impossible man. Of course WE will do it. You're on the road most of the day. And may I remind you that you won't come home at all for the next few weeks? But WE'll do it …"

Tenderly, she looked into his eyes and he knew she didn't mean to be mad at him.

"ADAM, ..."

Adam puffed his cheeks and laid his forehead against Bridget's. "All the time, he's almost never seen here. Couldn't he show up here tomorrow? Bridget, please let this day end."

She put his face between her hands. "Try to stay calm and don't let yourself get worked up by his anger. Maybe we'll finally get to know what's going on with him."

Adam tried to find his inner peace and went back to the living room.

Frederic was pacing up and down the living room. When he saw Adam enter the room, he stopped and yelled at him immediately. "How could this happen? Where have you been? How could you leave him alone?"

"Hello, Frederic. Nice to see you here today. Could you speak a little quieter? I don't want the other children to be scared."

Frederic didn't get much quieter. "You don't have to talk to me in your usual arrogant way. I've been reading your character for a long time and also what game you're playing here. What did you tell Bridget where these four children come from?"

Adam looked at his friend. "I don't understand what you mean, Frederic?"

His friend came a step toward him. "You understand me very well. All the years you have played the innocent and have expected of all those who surround you to meet your high moral demands but you're just a back-stabber!"

"Frederic, I still don't know what you're talking about but I thought you were here for Riccardo. He's up in his ro ... "

"Yes, I'm also here because of Riccardo, because we should finally clarify something."

Adam tried to remain calm. "Frederic, you don't want to argue again about your son's love to be here on the Ponderosa and later to become a cowboy? You won't be able to change him by force."

Frederic tightened his lips in anger. Then he nodded slowly. "Yes, I won't be able to change him. Riccardo will surely become a cowboy later, like his father."

It took Adam some time to understand what his friend had just thrown at him. Only with a great deal of strength he managed to remain calm. "I have no idea what's going on with you since the fire, Frederic but I won't listen any longer to such an insinuation."

"Insinuation? No Adam, the truth! For a long time, I have suppressed it and really believed that Riccardo simply has more of his mother when a stranger in town confronts me with that fact, I cannot lie to myself anymore."

Adam had already closed his right hand into a fist. The conversation with Bridget's brother made him too angry. "So you believe strangers more than me?"

The friends were only a few inches apart. Frederic's eyes were filled with rage and contempt. "I do, I've figured you out, Adam Cartwright. You've deceived and lied to us all since Boston. "

"Frederic, stop it."

Bridget stood next to the two men. She had heard what her brother had just said.

"Bridget, don't you see he's just using you to be near Giovanna?"

Immediately, Adam took a step forward and Frederic laughed maliciously. "What's wrong Adam, are you afraid that she will know the truth? My dear little sister, didn't you ever wonder why Adam needed so very long to tell you about his feelings?"

Frederic's eyes wandered back from Bridget to Adam. "Only for one reason, because he wouldn't have seen his Giovanna otherwise."

"Frederic, if you don't want me to lose my temper, you'd better go now."

"I'll go right away but you should answer some questions for my sister. The first ..." Frederic raised a finger. "How did you know that Giovanna was pregnant? And don't come up with the story that you've seen it. Second ..." The second finger went up "... why did you want me to come to the West and third ... why would you want us to settle here?" He took a step back to Adam. "Do you want to answer or should I?"

He turned to his sister. "I think it's better if I answer, because our decent Adam will surely be able to twist every word. He knew it because Giovanna had told him before me and then they had arranged a nice plan to pin the child on me. The other questions are answered very quickly. He wanted Giovanna and Riccardo to be near him and in order that noone gets suspicious, he married you."

Frederic had quite turned his head back to Adam when his friend's fist hit him right in the face. Bridget's brother staggered backwards and fell over one of the armchairs. With his hand on the bleeding nose, he looked up at Adam, who was standing in front of him fuming mad. Bridget had grabbed Adam's arm to stop him from beating Frederic again. Without turning away from Adam's eyes, Frederic stood up. "Before you leave my house, just think about one thing, Frederic. If that were all right, why didn't I just marry Giovanna?" Adam raised his hand. "Though, it will be better if you say nothing more and just go. I don't want to see you again in the next few days."

"You won't, Adam. Don't worry. I came here because I was told that my son had fallen from a horse and to my relief I just learned that it was Riccardo and not Fabio. I'll pack my things, take my son and go back to Boston. My lawyers will then contact you how we can end our partnership in the fastest way."

Frederic went to go to the stairs as Bridget blocked his way. "Frederic, you can't do that. You can't go now."

"Bridget, get out of my way, or I'll forget that you're my sister."

Shocked Bridget put her hand to her mouth. Immediately Adam was by her side, his hand lying on his gun. "I wouldn't even think about it, Frederic."

Frederic looked at the two of them. "I won't do you the favour, Adam, that you can gun me down like a mad dog. I'm going to get Fabio."

As Frederic ran upstairs, Bridget looked at Adam wide-eyed. "Adam, you cannot allow that. He can't just take Fabio and leave."

Adam looked up, angry and with twitching cheekbones. "He has the right to take him with him. Bridget, if I try to keep him from doing that, there will be someone injured and if he doesn't get him today, he will take him by force."

"I'm going to look for Giovanna."

Bridget went to go when Adam held her. "No, don't. This would make it even worse for Fabio. Bridget, you know as well as I do, when he's separated from Giovanna, he can keep the children. No Sheriff or judge would leave her the children if Frederic doesn't agree. If we let him go now, I'm hoping that he will settle down again, use his brain and come back."

"Oh my Goodness, Adam, what's going on at the moment?"

She sought shelter in his arms and they could only watch Frederic leave the house with Fabio in his arms.

XXXXX

He still hadn't got a wink of sleep. His thoughts were too much about what had happened today. It had taken them quite some time until late in the evening to calm Giovanna down reasonably. Again and again they tried to comfort her, that Frederic would come to his senses and come home with Fabio. But if Adam was honest, he didn't really count on that. In his eyes Frederic had been too determined. He turned his head to Bridget, who had taken a long time to fall asleep. Adam was only grateful that she hadn't believed her brother's words. Since it would still take some time for him to sleep, he got up, put on his pants and quietly left the bedroom. Before he went down, he looked again at all the children. Calmed, he realized that they were sleeping deeply and sound. Riccardo's room was the last one he went into. With him, Adam sat at the edge of the bed and watched him sleep. Smiling, he shook his head. Although Riccardo had a pretty black eye and a plastered arm, he looked very happy. Adam was betting that although he'd fallen very hard and knowing that it had been wrong what he had done, he was surely proud and satisfied that he could say now that he had been riding on a wild horse at the age of nine. He lovingly stroked Riccardo hair aside and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Then he left the room and went downstairs to his office. There he took a letter from his desk and went to the window to look at the mountains. He didn't need to open the letter. He knew exactly what was written there. Too often he had read it in the last few weeks. His eyes turned to the envelope. The emblem of the Navy Department was clearly visible. They had thanked him for his request and he should register at the beginning of Fall in Washington. There he was to be prepared to start his service in Spring on one of the many sailing ships of the Navy.

What had seemed to him as the only and right way in San Francisco, had emerged more and more as the wrong way in recent weeks. Bridget had been right there on the terrace. He couldn't change the whole world. And only by his participation in the upcoming conflicts between the North and the South a solution wouldn't be found more quickly. But here in Nevada, his homeland, he was able to make a difference. Here they needed him. This had become very clear to him in the last few weeks. There were enough people who needed his help and with Clement's support they would achieve more than any other state. Nevada would be a role model. Here it could be seen that different cultures and ways of life could exist peacefully side by side. And not only the Gosiute needed him, he couldn't leave his family. So he tore the letter into many little snippets. Then he took a whiskey and sat down on his bench. He was waiting for the sun to rise behind the mountains and he thought of Inger ...

'When the day is over, I think of everything I've done. Did I waste the day, or did I achieve something? Did I make a new friend or an enemy? Was I angry at everybody, or was I friendly? What I've done is over. As I sleep, the world brings out a new bright day that I can use, or waste, or whatever I want. Tonight I'm telling myself: I will be good, I will be kind, I will do something worth doing.'


	98. Chapter 98

"ADAM…." 

A whistle sounded behind him and Adam turned around. Jenkins walked across the street and waved to him. He went to meet his friend not knowing whether he should be happy or worried. "Jenks, don't tell me that the little tribe was up to something again today."

Simon laughed slightly. "At the moment it's quite calm but they are a little tense because their best warrior is in a very bad mood. Well, seriously, Adam, you should talk to Riccardo before the trail. He would have had to bring home at least ten letters in the last few days."

Sighing, Adam scratched his temple. "I should have guessed that the whole matter left its mark on the boy. At home he is a bit quieter than usual but I was hoping it was his guilty conscience. But as it looks, he has been deeply affected by the matter with Frederic." 

"Maybe it wasn't so good to tell him the truth."

"Simon, after Frederic has packed all his things on the construction site and in the office and I heard from Tom that he left town the next day by coach, there's no hope that he'll be back in the near future. Frederic has never accepted Nevada as his home. This whole life in the West wasn't what he wanted. In my opinion, the rumors were a welcome opportunity for him to head back."

Simon shook his head thoughtfully. "I'm just wondering why he didn't talk to Giovanna and you about the fact that he didn't like to live here." 

"Unfortunately, Frederic has always sought the easy way and avoided conflicts. And Giovanna wouldn't have agreed to go back to Boston. She likes living here way too much. Then there's also Riccardo. He has told his father more than once that he will never leave the Ponderosa." 

The teacher lowered his head slightly and looked at Adam from below. He ran his hand across his chin. "Adam, ... is there anything truth to the rumors of .. you ... Riccardo .."

Obviously annoyed, Adam looked into the sky. Jenkins raised his hands as he noticed the reaction of his friend. "Sorry, Adam. I don't know what you used to do but you have a certain reputation as a ladies' man, you cannot deny. Actually, I don't care but for Riccardo, it would be important for him to know the truth in this case as well, so that he can rest at school again and not have to listen to any words. "

"I'll talk to him this afternoon and Jenks, everyone who knows me, knows that I would never have behaved like that. I would have accepted my responsibility without any hesitation but Giovanna and I only share a harmless friendship, nothing more, and I hope we can finally end this subject."

Jenkins rubbed his neck with his hand and spoke very hesitantly. "Adam, I get the feeling these rumors didn't just show up but Frederic was influenced. He's been talking to one of the workers who works for Tyler's father and this guy, as Tom told me, has often had a beer with Lewis."

"I've already thought of something like that but I'm assuming that has already started before the fire. Even at this time, Frederic was a little more reserved towards me and has been more and more mocking about the fact that Riccardo works so often at the ranch."

"I just wonder what Curt really wants to achieve with the whole matter. He won't be able to damage your reputation by that. Yes, tempers would flare up briefly but that it would have been and that Frederic no longer works at the construction site doesn't jeopardize the entire project."

Adam put a finger on his mouth and then took it away, slightly resigned. "I don't know. I also don't see what the purpose behind it is. Even if there had been an uprising, he still wouldn't be able to finish me off. We just have to wait and see what's going to happen after the trail."

Now Simon nodded. "I'll keep my eyes and ears open, Adam. And like Hoss, we will always look after Bridget and the children and Pelipa will help the women while you're not at home."  
"Thanks Jenks but I think Curt will only be active again after Summer. Then we will finally know what he's intending with all that."  
The two nodded to each other. "Do you still have things to do in town, or will we ride home together?"

Adam had to laugh. "Yes, I still have something to do. I intend to have a little conversation with Mr. Doohan."

"Oh, Dianne's father. Little Joe won't back down?" 

Hands placed on the belt, Adam couldn't resist a grin. "He wouldn't dare. My father would seize him by the neck faster than he could say 'Amen'. No, I will try to convince Dianne's father to come to the wedding. Because even if I have told Joe for years, he should keep his hands off Dianne, the reason wasn't that she isn't good enough for Joe. I just knew Joe was still unaware of the responsibility of having a family. Dianne's only seventeen and Joe ... well, Joe is Joe. I believe even at the age of twenty Joe isn't aware that he has to face the consequences of his actions. But, well, now it's too late and it would be a pity if it turned out a sad day for Dianne because her father isn't there." 

A grin spread on Jenkins' face. "Well, in all honesty, Adam, I hope our girls will never come across a guy like Little Joe."

Laughingly Adam patted on his holster. "Such a guy would only knock on our door once." 

Jenkins struck Adam's arm. "Good luck then. See you at the wedding on Saturday." 

"Till Saturday." 

With a deep breath, Adam prepared for the conversation with Mr. Doohan.

XXXX

"What do you want, Adam?" 

The mood of Mr. Doohan hadn't improved much in that one week. Clearly he had told Little Joe and his father his opinion about the wedding and what he thought of his daughter. He then had packed a bag without saying a word and gave it to Joe. The only thing he said when they parted was that his daughter didn't need to come home again. "I'd like to talk to you about the wedding." 

Immediately and with a very serious glare Dianne's father stood in front of Adam. "In this matter, everything has been said." 

"Mr. Doohan, you want to do that to your daughter and your wife? " 

"It's none of your business!" 

Almost imperceptibly, Adam nodded. "Well, Mr. Doohan. Whether you like it or not, starting Saturday we are one family."

Mr. Doohan took a deep breath and seemed to even become several inches larger.  
"Mr. Doohan, as the father of not only a daughter, I can understand that you weren't always excited about how my brother had behaved towards Dianne. But I also saw that he knew exactly how much Dianne loves him and for him too, she means more than any of the girls he ever met with. He was aware, however, that they were both too young to deepen the relationship. That's why he had always withdrawn from Dianne. If he really wanted to have his fun, he would have been able to have it with one of the other girls."

"Adam, stop it. I know how good you can handle words, so that in the end everything doesn't sound too bad. Neither my daughter nor Joe are ready to take responsibility for a child. Everyone knows about your problems with your brother at the ranch, so he finally works for three days without having any excuse, why he didn't manage at least half of the chores you gave him."

"I agree but now, without any excuse, he immediately stood up to his responsibility and I'm very confident that the two will be able to become a wonderful little family."  
Mr. Doohan's eyes went small and with his arms crossed, he turned away from Adam. "It's not just about Little Joe. You have a problem with the fact that I belong to this family."

Dianne's dad turned around. "She's my only child and of all things she must fall in love with Joe. In the beginning, I still had hope that it was only puppy love but over time I had to realize that she was really in love with him. She marries into a family that is half Indians. I go to church with her every Sunday and now she will live with savages. On Saturday probably more of these Indians than other guests will be there. Will my daughter tie the knot before the eyes of God at all? And how long will she still be alive?"

He looked at Adam furiously. "I didn't understand to this day why Ben has just watched as you have made friends with that Indian girl. All can see what has become of it. When were you last in church with your family, Adam? And that you don't take marriage too seriously, I can see from your brother-in-law and the boy. And in all of this I should agree with my daughter's wedding? Do I know what will happen to her after this?"

First, Adam wanted just to yell at Mr. Doohan and explain to him what a nonsense he was talking but then he realized that Dianne's father was just afraid of the unknown. And so he calmed down. "Mr. Doohan, come with your wife to the Ponderosa on Saturday. Then you'll see that we live just like you live here in town. Yes, I admit that my faith is somewhat different from your faith. But if you bothered to get to know the Indians' way of life, you would see that there aren't too many differences. As for the matter concerning my brother-in-law .. "

Adam took a short break, not to be disturbed by his thoughts of Frederic. "... Mr. Doohan, you have known me for many years. If you think carefully, you would have noticed that I've never dodged responsibility and always owned up to my mistakes and wrong decisions. If there's only a spark of truth in the rumors, I would stick to it, with all the consequences." 

The voice of Adam became a little more gentle. "Mr. Doohan, don't make the mistake to not come to the most important and beautiful day of your daughter's life. It won't repeat and just because Dianne's your only child, you shouldn't miss it. If you then find that you have been right with your opinion that we are only savages, then you can break with her but not on Saturday."

Only a twitch in his eyes could be seen from Mr. Doohan. Then he opened the door. "You had better go now, Adam. We will see what is to happen on Saturday. Good bye." 

Adam put his hat on and left the house of Dianne's father hoping to have found the right words.

XXX

"I'll send Sam back to town on Friday to pick up the last stuff. Then we should have everything and can start on Monday on time." 

Tico stood with Adam at the fence of the paddock and both had discussed again whether they had prepared everything for the trail. Adam slapped Tico slightly against his arm. "Fine Tico, then you can send the men to town on Saturday but they should be fit again on Monday morning. If a person sags, he can pack his things and leave. We haven't got as good people as I had the year before and I don't feel like dragging along any souses."

Skeptically, Tico looked at his boss. "You ain't satisfied this year how things are going?" 

"Not at all and I don't know whether it's just the gold, or we have to thank my special friend Curt that such "good" cowboys have been hired this year with us."

Tico knew Adam was right. He himself had already been annoyed by some of the new hands. So he thought for a moment about a possible solution. Then he looked at Adam with a little more confidence. "And if you ask Hoss and Simon if they will accompany us again?"

Immediately Adam shook his head. "No, it won't work. As long as Curt isn't caught I want someone here to keep an eye on my family. Also because of Rose and the four children. There's something in the wind." 

"Then we'll do it that way, Adam. As you always say, there are no problems that can't be solved, otherwise we're part of the problem."

Adam couldn't resist a grin. Then he looked past Tico and saw Riccardo sitting down on one of the fences to look at the paddock. So he went past the foreman and put his hand on his shoulder. "You get along, Tico? I should have a talk." 

The foreman looked behind and immediately understood what Adam meant. "Of course ... Adam, he'll understand. He's not a stupid boy."

Adam just nodded and headed for his nephew. Riccardo's gaze was directed at nothing. He didn't want to play with the others, let alone help on the ranch. At first he had been waiting for Simon to come over because he had again been fighting with Albert today but so far, Sally's father hadn't been here yet. "So lost in thoughts, cowboy?"

Adam had sat down on the fence beside Riccardo and they both looked into the distance. Riccardo, however, gave him no answer even after a few minutes. "We need to talk about it, Riccardo. Silence won't undo what has occupied your mind and what has happened." 

"Have the children at school been right? Was Little Joe right then?"

The boy turned his head to Adam and looked at him with a firm gaze.

"Have I ever lied to you?" 

Riccardo's voice grew louder. "I want to know for sure. Yes or no. Are you my real father or ain't you?" 

"No, I'm not your father. Frederic is your father and noone else." 

"And why does everyone say I'm so much like you? Why did my father leave with Fabio when you're telling me the truth? He's your friend."

"In what way are we alike, Riccardo? Only that we both love the work at the ranch. That we love the land. But otherwise?" 

The boy looked at his hands and thought again. "Why does Dad think so? Why didn't he talk to you? I thought you were friends!" 

"Only your father can answer that. I don't understand him either but I have hopes that in a few months he will be aware of what he has done."

All of a sudden Riccardo jumped off the fence and yelled at Adam. "How can he be so selfish? Did he even think of Mama? She's so sad. I saw her crying because Fabio is no longer with us. And Dad doesn't need to come back. Because I don't love him any more than he loves me."

Adam also jumped from the fence and took his nephew into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Riccardo but soon time will pass and your mother will no longer be sad. It will always accompany you that Fabio is now no longer with you but your father must report to you or to me and then we will have a chance to talk with him." 

"I hate him, Adam. I hate him for what he does to Mama."

Adam still held his nephew in his arms. "Your father has taken a path that none of us can understand. We must have patience until he talks to us. And we have to go on, Riccardo. It won't help and won't bring your father back faster if you're going to leave the right path now." 

Shyly Riccardo's head came up. "Sally's father talked to you?"

"He did and although I can understand your rage, I was a little disappointed that you vented it that way. You cannot constantly fight the other children." 

"But they say mean things about me and my father."

"I know it's not easy, especially if you have to defend your honor but remember. Wise is the one who knows when the words of his opponent are spoken without understanding. Without any knowledge of the truth. Then you can shrug with good conscience and leave him alone. For even with a broken nose he won't suddenly recognize the truth." 

Riccardo began to laugh. "Did you ever say that when you fought that Mitch?"

Laughing, Adam stroked his nephew's hair. "Every time, but somehow my fist didn't listen to me." 

They were still laughing but then Riccardo became serious again. "Uncle Adam, Mom said we can't live with you forever and she has no idea what to do then. She thinks it may be that we go back to Boston to her family."

Riccardo's eyes grew darker and bigger. "I don't want to go back but I can't leave Mama alone as well."

"Riccardo, you shall live in the moment. I want you to go back to school, play with your friends and then we'll see how it'll go on. We will meet together after the cattle drive and talk about it. We must also see what's with Rose and the other children but Riccardo, .." He looked at him now with a very gentle and understanding look. "... whatever the future will bring, I promise you to always take care of you and your mother and help you as best I can. I know how much you like to be here in Nevada, that's why we'll find a solution that will satisfy everyone." 

Riccardo bit his lips hard, then fell into Adam's arms. "Thank you, Uncle Adam." 

"And now, cowboy, we have to talk about important things."  
Adam pushed Riccardo away a little. "When I'm gone, you're the man in my house and at the ranch. I expect you not only to work out your list of chores but also to keep an eye on everything and especially that Ben doesn't turn everything upside down."

Now the boy's eyes looked at him horrified. "I'm supposed to tell Ben if he does something wrong?" 

With a serious look Adam crossed his arms. "Are you afraid of him?" 

"Yes." 

Laughing, Adam took his arms down. "Fine. For he will hang you on the tallest tree, if you once again make such a nonsense as with the wild horse. Do you understand me, Riccardo? " 

"Yes, Sir."

"Then we have understood each other and Ben will tell me whether you have done your chores properly, otherwise you won't get your wages." 

"I get pay?" 

Adam now put his hands akimbo. "Of course. Do you think you can live and eat with me for nothing? You get your wage and at the end of the month I get some for the rent."

The joy in Riccardo's eyes was back and he smiled from ear to ear. "Well and now seek your tribe and Riccardo, ..." 

Strictly, he pointed his finger at him. "I don't want to hear as an excuse, you couldn't do your chores because of your arm." 

"No, sir." 

Satisfied, he looked at Riccardo when the boy ran back to the house.

XXXX

"Are you afraid?" 

Tenderly Joe took Dianne's hand and looked at her lovingly. Dianne took a breath and nodded.  
"Why?" 

She had to sigh loudly. "If my father's right, then we only get married because we have to and not because you love me." 

"Dianne, ..." He now took her other hand. "... I know I didn't always behave to you as you wanted but what should I do? I didn't want to get married yet but you were always important to me." 

"Important?"

Her eyes looked at him sadly. "Yes, important, ... because ..." He leaned forward and gave her a kiss. "... I love you just as much as you love me but I couldn't marry you at the age of sixteen." 

She held her hand to her mouth and chuckled softly. "I was fourteen then. My father would have shot you right away." 

Tenderly he put his hand on her belly. "I promise that I will be a loving father to our child and a faithful and caring husband to you and I will always love you both."

At first, she looked at him with a look of love and blushed slightly but when she thought of her father, she became sad again. "Do you think he'll come today?" 

"Of course." 

"How can you be so sure?"

Joe pointed outside. "Because he's just arriving with your mother." 

Quickly Dianne turned around and ran out of the barn to the buggy of her parents. Slowly, Joe followed her. With his hands in his pockets and a rather queasy feeling, he went beside Dianne and her parents. "Young man, is that an appropriate way to welcome your future in-laws?"

Immediately Joe took his hands out of his pockets and held out his hand to Mr. Doohan, who rolled his eyes and moaned softly. "One thing I'm gonna tell you, young man. If I have even one chance to see you looking after a pretty girl, then I'll shoot you." 

Somewhat green around the gills Joe just stared. Mrs. Doohan hooked up with her daughter and went to the house. "Let the two have a talk and we'll go in and get you all dressed up for later." 

Happily Dianne followed her mother.

XXXX

Adam breathed a sigh of relief when Joe and Dianne had spoken their marriage vows. Especially, he had been glad that Mr. Doohan had come to the wedding. He had to grin when he saw how proud his little brother accepted the congratulations of the others. Maybe it was the best for the two of them, the way it was happening now. Joe would probably not have been willing to marry even at twenty-two. Now the whole matter could help him to grow up and realize that this also meant to take responsibility. The decision of Joe and Dianne was reasonable to live on the Ponderosa until the baby would be here and then to see how they could cope with everything.

"Didn't guess that I would see one day that you're proud of your little brother." 

Tom slapped Adam on the back, standing with Jenkins next to him, who grinned no less. "Well, you could mean, Adam, that you arranged that somehow." 

Tom now slapped Simon against his belly. "Do you mean he has spread some of Koko's herbs in the house while Joe lived there? Then the little brother wouldn't have to be blamed for what happened." 

"Tom but then you need to intervene. Then he certainly has violated some law."

Adam grimaced. "Very funny. Who actually invited you two? I think there's so much to do in town, Sheriff. Didn't you say you were looking for a deputy? You seem to understand each other very well and Jenks has already had some experience in this job. So what are you waiting for? Besides, I'm wondering why I'm still friends with you two." 

"I can tell you why, my friend! Because Tom and I are the only ones who don't take you so seriously because we know you differently."

Jenkins winked at the Sheriff, pretending to drink and smoke. Adam crossed his arms and looked at his friends with a mock seriousness. "Time has come. Now I'm sure. Virginia City is beyond salvation when I see how far we've come. A Sheriff who, in his youth, regarded school to be superfluous and spent more time in the saloon and a teacher who had beaten the Sheriff so he had to be chained. Who will then become the next mayor of the town? Little Joe?"

The three looked at each other and began to grin. "Since you two get along well, I can leave you alone for a moment." Worried, Adam looked at the house. "I want to see after Bridget. I had the impression during the wedding ceremony that she wasn't doing so well."

With his fist, Tom slammed slightly against Adam's shoulder. "Buddy, you don't have to worry. We will keep an eye on Bridget and the children." 

"Tom's right. Since I will have time during the holidays, I will often be with Pelipa at your house and Tom will come when he can manage, too. After all, we all agree that Curt will strike again only after the holidays."

Relieved that he had found such friends, he slapped both gratefully at the arm. "I thank you. I'll give you another drink later and then we'll toast that we'll be such good friends twenty years from now." 

His friends nodded to him and Adam went to look for his wife.

XXXX

It was a warm day and Bridget was glad that they had already ridden to town in the morning. So, if they didn't take too long in the shop, they would be at home on time for lunch. Smiling, she looked at Rose. "I hope the new fabrics already arrived, Rose, so we can sew some nice clothes for the girls, although I doubt that Neisha's going to wear anything else than what Pelipa brought her."

As always Rose only smiled. Every now and then she talked a little but only if it concerned the children or the household. Otherwise she still didn't tell what had happened, or who she really was.

"Bridget, ..." 

Tom had caught up with a few steps and tipped his hat to welcome them. "Hello you two. What brings you to town in this kind of weather?"

"We were at Doc Martin and now want to buy some bits and bobs." 

Tom scratched his arm, searching for the right words. "Bridget, at the moment you shouldn't come to town alone." 

"Tom, ..." Bridget rolled her eyes slightly. "I won't be scared by the guys hanging around here and I know we have a good Sheriff to get the situation back on track."

"I'm just worried. I can't be everywhere with Steve, even though I'm very confident that I'm going to have the situation back under control again in a few weeks." 

Out of the corner of his eye, the Sheriff looked as Rose shrugged and he himself rolled his eyes as he heard the loud laughter of Lewis. "That's what I mean, Bridget. Such guys as Lewis know exactly how far they can go without Steve and I being able to lock them up."

"I understand you, Tom but I cannot just hide. Neither at home because of Curt, nor here because of such guys as Lewis."  
Tom's eyes were still focused on Lewis, who was on the other side of the street alongside Mitch. "Just be careful, please." Then he looked at Rose. "Before Adam had to go, did you talk about how to proceed with Rose and the children at all?"

Bridget didn't get to respond to her husband's friend, because Rose stood closer to them and spoke very softly. "I can't go with the children elsewhere. I have to keep an eye on them. We can move on only when the evil is no longer there."  
Questioning Tom tilted his head. Like Bridget, he was quite astonished that Rose suddenly spoke to them. "The evil? What do you mean, Rose?"

Rose slowly raised her arm and pointed at Lewis. "There. He ... He is evil." 

With frantic eyes Tom's gaze wandered back and forth between Rose and Lewis. "Rose, was that man involved in the attack?" 

Rose still spoke softly. "He and two others." 

Just concentrating on Lewis, he grabbed Bridget by the arm. "Get Rose home and tell Simon, he should take care of all of you very well. I will contact you as soon as possible." 

He didn't wait for what she would answer but crossed the street.

Mitch exhaled deeply. "Lewis, I'm tired of listening to your stories. Just go to your friends and chatter to them." 

Lewis laughed loudly. "I should stay and wait for good in town. I've never had so much fun. Mara and Curt pay for everything. Shall I invite you to a beer? I'll also pay the girls later, or we'll mix up the saloon again."

Mitch began to grin. "Well, just as Tom looks, it seems you're the only thing that's getting mixed up. I know that look from school days, when he was really upset and wanted to fight with Buck and me." 

Lewis turned and saw the Sheriff coming towards them. His right hand lay just above the holster. Quickly Lewis looked to his cousin, who had raised his hands slightly and had stepped back a few steps. "I'll say goodbye, Lewis."

Mitch grasped his neck and grinned.  
Lewis began to sweat. It was plain to see that the Sheriff didn't want to talk to him about the weather. So it was a flowing movement on his part, the look to his horse and the grip to his colt.  
Tom saw Lewis reaching for his gun and immediately pulling his from the holster. The moment when he tried to pull the trigger, he heard the bang. Whether he had shot himself, he didn't know anymore because it went dark around him.

XXXXX

Tired, Bridget sat down on the bench in front of Koko's house and closed her eyes. After a while Koko sat next to her. "Drink it best warm. Then the effect of the herb is best." 

Koko handed her a cup, Bridget put both hands around it and leaned her head against the wall.  
"You need to rest more, Bridget. Have you only drunk my tea and always added some of the herbs to your meals?" 

"I drink the tea but since I'm not so hungry, I still have enough herbs."

With a rather worried look, Koko took Bridget's hand. "You need to eat more. Not just for you. Adam will be frightened when he returns next week. You should increase and not decrease. What did Doc Martin say? You were with him again? " 

"Whatever you say, I should rest more and not just that." 

"Bridget?" 

Adam's wife had put her head back on the wall and looked up into the sky. "It could happen again, Koko."

Koko pressed Bridget's hand tighter. "You mean like last year?" 

Bridget had to swallow several times before she could continue. "He says I shouldn't be as upset as last year." Her laughter sounded softly and disparagingly. "As if I had chosen Adam to be attacked by this cougar." 

"Did you ever tell him you lost a baby?" 

She just shook her head. "Since I didn't tell him I was pregnant and he didn't even notice due to the fever what happened, I didn't talk to him about it. You know how he was at this time. I didn't want to bother him."

Bridget closed her eyes. "I'm not only thinking about whether I can give birth to this child healthy. Paul advised me urgently not to become pregnant again and if, certainly not so quickly." 

Again, Bridget laughed sadly, looking at Koko, "Can you tell me how I should do that? Should I go to Boston for the next few years? Adam only needs to look at me and I'm pregnant again."

Her friend just shook her head and smiled slightly. "You're not so often in the village but did you ever wonder why not twenty children come running out from every second tipi?" 

"To be honest, I never paid attention."

Encouragingly, she pressed her hand again. "Let's talk about it again when the child is born. The yam doesn't only taste very well, it also has some helpful side effects. Something might still happen but when you find the right mix, it generally works very well. I will also reveal to you some other secrets from the herbal kitchen of the Gosiute, because you must also think of yourself."

"Thank you, Koko. I'm glad you're his friend. When I think about how much you always help us. We can never make up for that." 

"It means very much to me that you handle my friendship with Adam so well." 

Smiling Bridget took a deep breath. "Koko, is there anything you don't have something for in your herbal kitchen?" 

Koko sat up straight and thought. "If I can think of it, I'll let you know."  
Now Koko pointed to the cup in Bridget's hand. "You should drink it while it's still warm." 

Bridget drank some sips and smiled at Koko over the edge. "And how's it going at your home? Now that Rose talks about everything."

Tired, Bridget exhaled. "I am really grateful that either Simon or Hoss is with us, taking care but I would also like to have a little rest in the house again. I'm a bit afraid when Adam's back because Curt is going to strike again and I would have liked to see Steve searching for Lewis and Curt." She breathed deeply again. "But I can also understand that he couldn't leave the town alone now. Virginia City needs a strong hand and he's right. Lewis won't go on the run with Curt because of the incident with Tom. They will continue to pursue their goal." 

"Didn't Mitch tell something?"

"You know Mitch. He just said he didn't have anything to do with it and he only saw Curt the last time in Fall, when he was up on his feet again after the explosion. Steve has got nothing on him. So he had to turn him loose." 

Still and lost in thought, they both sat on the bench and looked at the meadow. Then Koko stood up again. "I will prepare some herbs for you and your mother and you will sit here and rest. Hoss will drive you home later." 

Before Bridget could reply, Koko raised her hand. "Don't argue. Hoss will drive you home." 

Silently, Bridget drank her tea.

XXX

As Koko had expected, Adam was shocked when he came home and saw Bridget. As always, she tried to play it down and said only that he didn't look any better and certainly chewed leaves half the time. Even though she was right, he had been able to eat properly after a few weeks but with Bridget he had the impression that not only the events of the last months gave her a hard time but that pregnancy robbed her of her last strength. In any case, he had made sure that she was getting more help and more rest.  
He was also stunned about what had happened in town with Tom. He was glad that Rose had come back to her senses but that his friend had almost lost his life had shocked him. He was relieved, however, that after a few weeks Tom was back on his feet and was already taking care of the town. He had also been looking for Lewis and Curt in the area but Adam told him they just needed to wait. The two would return by themselves. Adam reckoned with them every day.

Adam was firmly convinced that Curt had paid some men to sabotage the trail. Five of them Tico and he had already fired shortly after the start, because they were just drunk and were most of the time out for trouble with the other cowboys. Four of them had left half way. So they were all pretty much done at the end. Even Joe was too done to end up half the night in the saloon. Which came in quite handy for Adam. So he didn't have to pay any attention that the new husband could mess up again.  
He was surprised that Mitch was supposed to have nothing to do with the entire matter and Lewis was now working with Curt. Rose had told them that a woman had been involved in the raid and Adam couldn't imagine what woman would join such an act.

If his last information was correct, Mitch had bought a house outside the town and tried ranch work. Adam didn't understand at all what his role in the whole story was. Even how he had behaved before the trail in the saloon, had been very suspicious to him.

He gave the horse a slap and went into the house to tell Bridget and her mother that they could go to Koko now. Both wanted to pick up their herbs and enjoy the peace there. Riccardo had ridden to the farm immediately after breakfast, since he still had to work his punishment for the ride on the wild horse. By Fall, he had to take care of the horses with Hoss next to his work at the ranch, although Riccardo didn't consider the whole thing as a punishment.  
So they set off for Koko's Farm after ten minutes.

XXXX

Whether he was more annoyed or more angry, Curt could not say. In any case, he was certainly not jealous, as Mara liked to claim.  
So he stood in the hut and waited for Mara to get dressed properly. Lewis had just come out of her room with a cheeky grin and as he left the hut, he pulled his shirt on again. Curt stood at the doorway and looked at Mara, who was dressing slowly. "Why are you doing this? I thought you were going for men and not for guys who are still wet behind their ears?"

Smiling, Mara stood up from the bed and joined Curt. Her facial features didn't change as she ran her fingers over his shirt. "Of course he ain't fit to hold a candle to you but we have to keep him happy. At the moment we still need him." 

"What for? We know now that the Sheriff is up to date. What are you waiting for? Adam has been back for weeks and Brookstone is back on his feet. Do you want us to get snapped?" 

"Sweet Curt, ... you're so impatient. Can't you wait to finally get married?"

His only answer was a derisive growling. Mara left him standing and took a drink from the kitchen. "No, of course not but I love when people are sweating with fear and getting nervous. Adam knows exactly that we will strike again but not when and where and that's the power that I love so much. I have it in hand. I control the situation."  
"Very nice Mara but I think you've been delighting in it long enough. It's getting too hot to me here. The town has become quieter. Brookstone can soon take some men and look for us."

Mara put the glass away, went to her gun belt and pulled the colt out of the holster. "Then we will strike today, dear Curt. We'll grab Simon first, get us the brat and then we'll convince Adam to sign over the mine and the land and then ..." Now she slipped her hand across Curt's chest. "... we will marry, ride to my father and take care of his health. Then we can enjoy our undisturbed life in the beautiful south of the country."

"And what do we do with the child? I don't want to play Daddy. " 

In disgust, Mara grimaced. "You don't have to worry about that. Like you, I can't stand children. As soon as the ranch is ours, she too will go a different way." 

Roughly Curt grabbed Mara's head and pulled her close to kiss her. "Then we are agreed."

XXXX

Actually, Jenkins wanted to ride with Sally today in the mountains but she had turned him down in the morning. She wanted to spend the day with the little tribe. The tribe, before it was getting too cold, wanted to sleep in the tipi at Adam's again. So he had spent the morning with Pelipa and Tiponi and then, for a few hours, had ridden to a small creek to take stock of himself. Now he was on his way home. Probably it was because he smoked his pipe at the creek that it took him some time before he realized the three riders who were on the road in front of him all of a sudden.

"Hello Simon." 

Jenkins just shook his head and wanted to ride on as Mara pulled her gun and shot at him. Again, Jenkins couldn't react so fast, so that the bang hadn't gone and he was already lying on the ground. Slowly he stood up, holding his arm. "What do you want from me?"

"From you ...?" She came a step closer. "… Nothing. I told you last year, I'll take care of our daughter from now on." 

With contempt in his eyes he told her. "Only over my dead body." 

Laughing, Mara pointed the gun at him. "Nothing else I'm going to do with you."

XXXX

"Wynono, promise me to keep an eye on Bridget. Even if she's a little better at the moment, she shouldn't overdo." 

Koko and Adam stood at the buggy waiting for Hoss and the others, who were just getting Travis and Nick ready. "I will, Koko. You can be sure of. I was so scared when I came back from the trail and saw her. I'm trying to take as much as I can off her shoulders and because Pelipa helped us after the holidays, she could rest often."

"Have you already talked about how it should go on with you, or has Frederic contacted you?" 

Furiously, Adam hit the buggy. "No he didn't. For him, it would be better if he didn't cross my path. "Adam took a deep breath and tried to calm down again. "We already have an idea about how to continue with Giovanna and Rose but first we have to wait and see what's going to happen with Curt. I trust that Tom will soon be able to arrest him. As long as he isn't caught, I cannot let Rose move out with a clear conscience."

"It'll be over soon. I have such a feeling." 

Laughing, Adam took his friend in the arm. "You and your feelings. You should focus your feelings today on Hoss. Just have a nice evening. Look into the stars and as Hoss always says so beautifully, huggle tog... Ouch. " 

She had punched him on the arm and tried to look at him angrily. "Koko, I mean that seriously. You have supported us over the past few weeks so you should do something alone."

Now Koko smiled and gave him a little kiss. "Thank you for bringing the kids to the Ponderosa. Then Hoss and I can go down to the creek before it gets dark."

"That goes without saying. It's no detour for us and I want to thank you that we could spend the afternoon with you today. Bridget and Cholette sometimes need time for themselves. Especially because of Frederic. It shocked both of them, that if he won't get in touch, he won't be here when it's time." 

"The medicine of the shaman helps her very well. Maybe she'll have a few more months, so we have the chance to know where Frederic is."

"For Cholette I hope so." 

"Mom ..." 

Travis came out of the house and Koko took him in her arms. "Did you pack everything?" 

With a nod, he twined his arms around Koko's neck. "Are you coming to lalá Ben and uŋčí Emillia?" 

"Of course we'll come to the Ponderosa tomorrow lunchtime. We all want to take our meal there." 

"I'm gonna ride with Riccardo." 

"You can ride on his horse?"

„Háŋ."

She stroked his hair and looked at him tenderly. "Hold on tight. I don't want you to fall down." 

Adam also rumpled Travis' hair. "We'll take care of your two." 

Koko hugged Travis tightly again and then took him to Riccardo who had come out of the house with the others. She put him on Giovanna's son's horse. "Promise me to be good and listen to what Ben and Emillia tell you." 

"Will do, Mom."

She went to Nick, who was already sitting in the buggy with Bridget and Cholette. "And you are also a good boy."

He, too, got a kiss from her. 

"Koko, we'll see them again tomorrow. If someone could see and hear you they would get the impression that they're leaving us for weeks." 

Hoss had joined Koko and had his arm around her. Koko leaned against him and tried to smile. "We have never left them anywhere else overnight. If, we were on the road and then returned in the evening."

Hoss held Koko closer and Adam began to grin. "Hoss, you should take Koko's mind off things." 

Still grinning, he climbed the buggy and Hoss smiled. Only Koko rolled her eyes annoyed. "I will and now go on, otherwise Koko will reconsider sending the children away." 

Adam clicked his tongue and drove off.

XXXXXX

Before Mara pulled the trigger, she heard children's laughter and the snort of a horse. She pulled the gun around and saw two boys coming along the path. Shortly after came a buggy. At first, she was annoyed that her plans were ruined but then she recognized who was sitting in the buggy and she began to grin. "Watch him." 

She went a few steps forward and pointed the gun at the children. "Dismount."

Riccardo had stopped his horse and looked back at Adam, who had arrived with the buggy. "Hurry up!" 

Roughly Mara pulled Travis' leg and tore him down from the horse. Riccardo jumped out of the saddle and helped Travis to get up again. Koko's son sniffed and held his knee. "Stop crying, or you'll be silent forever."

She pointed the gun back to his head. Riccardo put his arms around Travis and pulled him close. Meanwhile, the buggy had reached them. Adam didn't manage to go for his gun. He was hardly on the heights of Riccardo, when Lewis and Curt had already directed their guns on him, Bridget and her mother. "Go get off." 

Mara pointed to the spot where Simon was still standing. Adam helped the two women get off without letting Mara and the two others out of sight. As he passed Riccardo, he grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him and Travis with him.

They were all in the semi-circle with Curt, Mara and Lewis in the middle. "Put your gun belt down but very slowly." 

Adam opened the belt and slowly let it slide to the ground. He looked at his friend. "How are you, Jenks?" 

"Shut up, Cartwright." 

Curt was about to strike when Mara was holding his arm. "Curt, we don't want to hurt poor Adam. We still need him."  
She turned to Simon. "Come on. You can answer him." 

Simon nodded at Adam and tried to smile.

"What do you want?"

Bland and with an icy gaze Adam fixed the trio. He was aware of how dangerous the situation was for everyone. Curt had already been a league for himself but when he looked at Mara she was no better and Lewis would do anything just because he thought he was a real man. 

"Well, well, Mr. Cartwright, don't be so impatient. By your sudden appearance, you have already mixed up my plans. One by one! First of all, it's the turn of my dear almost-husband."

With a quick movement she turned to Jenkins, raised her gun and shot. The blast mingled with the cry of the children and the women. Nick clung firmly to Bridget and Travis to Riccardo, who was a little closer to Adam. Simon lay on the ground and said no word. Before his body, a sea of blood formed. Mara turned back to Adam. "Well, Mr. Cartwright, now we get down to business."

She put her gun away and snapped her fingers. Immediately Lewis handed her two documents and a pen. "You've got something I would like to have and I think in the last few months you have been able to find out that I always get what I want. And if you don't give it to me of your own free will, I'll take it." 

Adam crossed his arms and tried to keep looking at her as calm as before. "What do you want?" 

"The mine and the land on which the Gosiute live."

"No." 

Mara's mouth went up and she laughed softly. "You think I'm joking. Didn't that convince you with your friend?" 

She pointed to Simon and grabbed Travis the very same moment and pushed him over to Lewis. "You can stay stubborn, Cartwright but I can, too." 

"You cannot win. If you shoot me, you won't reach any of your goals."

"That wasn't my intention either." 

"Mara, ..." 

"Calm down Curt, ... we have him right where we want him." 

"Cartwright, I'm not a monster. I leave you the choice to decide what is worth your stubbornness. Whom should I shoot first? Your wife or your mother-in-law?" 

"Mara, .."

Now Mara raised her hand annoyed and touched her forehead. "Yes, I forgot that. My future husband would like to keep his great love alive. Well, then mother-in-law or that little sweet Indian boy." 

She went to Koko's son and raised his chin. "What's your name, boy?" 

Travis swallowed and looked at Adam, then at Bridget. Very quietly, he gave Mara an answer. "Travis."

She patted his cheek. "Well Cartwright, whom shall Lewis release of this life? I think one will be enough to make you realize that I'm serious and as Curt described you, you won't be able to live with the guilt that someone had to die for you."

Cholette had silently taken Bridget's hand and squeezed it tightly. Then she smiled at her daughter, who immediately understood what she was about to do and shook her head. In French she whispered to her. "This is better than waiting for weeks on it." 

"Maman, .." 

"I love you. ….. Adam, don't do it. Don't let yourself be blackmailed. They are going to kill the Gosiute to sell the land."

Adam looked to his mother-in-law, who gave him a smile. He too shook his head barely noticeable. His eyes went to Bridget, who bit her fist. "This is my way, Adam." 

The cheekbones of Adam began to twitch. "Curt's right, it's too much claptrap here." 

Lewis had pulled his gun and shot at Cholette, who sank mortally wounded with a smile on her lips to the ground. Then Lewis held the gun to the forehead of Travis. "Well Adam, you're going to sign the papers now, or should I shoot down the boy?"

"The mine isn't mine alone. Even if I sign it over, you still need the second signature." 

Mara pushed him against the chest. "You lie!" 

"No." 

"Shoot the boy!" 

Bridget screamed. "Adam, ..."

Lewis had his finger on the trigger and was about to pull it as a shot was fired. Mara and Curt looked around. Adam pushed them aside and grabbed Travis, who began to cry aloud. He pushed him rather roughly to Bridget, then turned back to Mara, who had pulled her gun and aimed at him. She knew they'd most likely lost. Somebody was here, thwarting their plans but before she has to flee or surrender, she wanted to finish Adam. But Mara didn't have the pleasure of seeing Adam die. She heard a bang and felt a pain in her chest. She looked down and saw the blood leaking from the bullet wound. Then she raised her head again and looked in the direction from which the bullet had come. In front of her stood Riccardo with the gun of Adam's belt. The white puff of the shot was still visible on the barrel. She stretched out her hand but couldn't make another step. Her legs gave in and the world around her disappeared.

Completely confused Curt was in the middle and didn't know what happened. Everything had happened so fast. He had pulled his gun and turned around in a circle. When he saw Mara fall, he looked shocked at her, to return his gaze to Lewis again. Now it was clear to him that he had to disappear very quickly if he didn't want to end up this way, too. Before that, however, he would send Adam to hell. Only now he noticed that Adam had seized the guns of Mara to point them on him. Slowly he came closer step by step. Curt began to sweat. "Through you many people have lost their lives. You destroyed more than one family. Give me one reason why I should let you live. Only one." 

Both stood facing each other and had their weapons pointed at each other. "If you pull the trigger, I pull the trigger, too. Then it's not just me." 

Slowly Adam nodded. "Then let's do it the old-fashioned way." 

Behind him he heard Bridget softly calling his name. "How am I supposed to know that it's fair and you don't bounce me off right away when I put the gun away?"

"Because I'll be watching." 

When Adam recognized the voice, he winced. Mitch stepped out of the shadow with a gun. Adam wondered if he was the unknown who had shot Lewis. Would Mitch shoot his own cousin?  
"Mitch, you're just in time. Put the gun away, Adam. You lost. You will now sign over the land and then I will disappear from your life." 

"No .." Mitch stood next to Adam and handed him his belt. He had still pointed the gun at Curt.

"Cartwright told you how to bring the matter to an end. Buckle it. And if anyone thinks to outsmart the other, I'll kill him."

"Mitch? .. What's this? You didn't kill Lewis?" 

"Yes, I did. I told you back then that I won't participate in your crazy plans. I've done a lot of crap in my life but I'm not going to watch children being shot before my very eyes. Come on, Cartwright, I don't want to stay here until Christmas, or are you a wimp?" 

His eyes were fixed on Curt and Adam put on the belt and strapped the band around his thigh. "Riccardo, give me my gun."

He dropped Mara's revolver. "Go to your aunt, Riccardo. You have to take her to the farm if I cannot." 

"Yes, Sir." 

Riccardo went backwards to Koko's children and Bridget, who looked pale-faced to the three men.  
"Well, then put the guns in the holsters and bring the matter to an end."

On the forehead of Curt, sweat gathered. He wasn't really afraid to die but it made him nervous, how coldly Adam looked at him. With him it wasn't easy to see what he thought or felt. Not even in his eyes he could see if he was afraid. Curt's hand lay over the gun but then he couldn't stand Adam's gaze any longer and he pulled his gun out of the holster. His weapon flew in a high arc to the ground when his shoulder was pulled back. Adam had pulled his gun so fast that Curt didn't even notice. Lamenting he fell to his knees, clutching his shoulder.

"Why didn't you finish him off, Adam?" 

Mitch had stood next to his old classmates and looked with him at the whimpering Curt. "I want people to hear from him what he's done. I want the families to see who is to blame for the deaths of so many innocent people. He didn't deserve a quick death." 

It was a bitter laugh from Mitch. "I'll never understand you, Cartwright. I'm leaving now."

"Why, Mitch? Why did you shoot your cousin to help me?" 

Mitch laughed again. "Cartwright, I would never have helped you. I still can't stand you and I'd rather smash your face in than talk with you here. But what I told Curt. I couldn't watch the boy be shot. So …"

He pushed his rifle butt against Adam's chest. "Don't get your hopes up. You're still a wimp for me." 

Then he looked around briefly and left Adam alone with the others. With slumped shoulders, Adam turned to Bridget and went to her, to take her in his arms.

XXX

The sun was shining. No cloud was to be seen in the sky. It was as if Cholette wanted to tell them they shouldn't be sad. That she wanted it the way it had happened. That it should go fast and she didn't have to suffer pain and that she didn't have to say goodbye. Adam had often talked to Bridget that it was wrong that he had hesitated. He should have found another way. As difficult as it was for Bridget, she had always assured Adam that her mother's wish was not to suffer. That they had often talked about it during her last days but still Adam couldn't quite free himself from guilt.

Adam had sent Riccardo back to the farm so he could get Hoss. Then he had taken care of Simon when he realized that he was still alive. He would still need a few weeks until he was back on his feet but the shaman had said that he had been very lucky. The herbs he had smoked that day by the creek had made sure that his injury hadn't bled too much. If the wound wasn't to get inflamed, he would be able to take the lessons again in Fall.

Curt was still waiting for his trial in town but none in Virginia City believed that the judge would decide otherwise than Curt would go to the gallows. He had made a full confession to Tom. The Sheriff had said that there was nothing left of the once arrogant Curt. There was only a bag of nerves in the cell that wanted it to be over. Too big was Curt's fear that the prison might be stormed and he would be hanged up the next tree.

The three children had recovered from the events more or less well. Travis hadn't left Koko's side during the first few days and whether he was going to spend the night alone somewhere, Adam doubted. With Riccardo, Adam had talked about how he had felt when he had shot his first man and, as it seemed, Giovanna's son was well able to deal with the fact that, like Adam, he had had no other choice.

Adam's thoughts returned to the here and now and he looked at the grave of Bridget's mother. The others had already gone to the exit of the cemetery. He knelt down, took some of the earth in his hand, then let it trickle through his fingers. "I'll take care of her and your grandchildren. I promise you. I'll never let anything happen to her."

He got up and was about to go to the others when Clement was standing before him. He said nothing and Adam didn't know what to say to him now. They had hardly spoken with each other for the last few days. He hadn't wanted Adam to help him preparing the funeral. So he was quite startled when Clement grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. In his voice was all the rage that was in him. "I should never have trusted you, Adam. You destroyed my whole family. My whole life's broken." 

Adam tried to push the hands of Clement down. "Clement, I can ..."

"Stop it, Adam. Like Frederic, I don't fall for your words any longer. First, you made sure that my children left their safe home and moved more and more into the wilderness. Then you destroy the marriage of my son, so that he disappears with my grandson and noone knows where he is and if he ever comes back. You have ensured that I believed your words and made this idiotic decision to sell everything to lead another life. Like my children, you lured me into the wilderness. Now my wife had to die because of you."

He let go of Adam and yelled at him. "You just watched her being shot, just because these Indians were more important to you." 

Clement reached back and hit Adam's chin. The latter took a breath and didn't let Clement provoke him to a thoughtless action. "I'll go now ..." 

His father-in-law grabbed Adam's collar again. "What are you going to do now? Also take my daughter from me? I'm not going to .. " 

"Papa, ..."

Bridget stood behind her father and looked stunned at the two men. If Adam thought that she already looked very pale all the time, he now knew what really pale looked like. She couldn't speak any further and Adam pushed his father-in-law aside and could just take her in his arms as her legs gave way and she lost consciousness.


	99. Chapter 99

With his hands on his face, his elbows leaning on his knees, Adam shook his head again and again. Clement was lucky enough that he'd soon left Doc Martin's office, otherwise he'd surely have gotten Adam's whole rage. Even as Adam had carried Bridget to the carriage, his father-in-law had reproached him again and blamed him for Bridget's condition. If Ben hadn't joined them, not only Bridget would be lying at Paul's on the couch but Clement as well.

Ben and Emillia tried to calm down Adam with soothing words but he had neither looked at them nor answered. With so many thoughts in his head he was trying to calm himself. Already since the day they had met Mara and Curt, Bridget was getting worse and worse and Adam had begged the funeral would be over so she would finally come to a rest. Would Clement be right and Adam would lose more than Amarok, Cholette and his friendship with Frederic this year? Adam didn't believe that his brother-in-law would come back again. As so often, he asked himself whether everything he did was right. Around him, so many people suffered because of his decisions. He just wanted to cry out loud at the thought. For the land he had bought fifteen years ago and on which the Gosiute could live in peace, so many had already died. And not just for this piece of land. Was he the only one for whom a human life was worth anything? How could people like Curt or the men of the railway company stop at nothing just because of a piece of land? That he had his share of the blame in all the events, he realized at Hoss who tried to live with Koko and the children peacefully on the farm and was always drawn into these problems only by him. But he couldn't live like Hoss and Koko. It wouldn't ... Adam paused briefly and shuddered ... make him happy, to only take care of the work on the ranch. He couldn't look away and suppress everything that was happening around him.

He breathed deeply into his hands. When the door to the treatment rooms opened and Paul came out Adam was on his feet right away. Adam didn't say a word. His eyes looked at the doc just asking, just pleading.

A small smile flashed across Paul's face and he put his hand soothingly on Adam's shoulder. "Your wife is just as bullheaded as you, Adam. I really wanted her to stay the next few days but she just wants to go home. But I only agreed to it on the condition that she will just look at the mountains from her bed."

The doctor looked at Emillia. "Can you go to her and help her? And don't let her send you away. " 

Ben's wife smiled again for the first time. "I have experience how to get along with stubborn people. Years of experience." 

Briefly she looked at Ben and Adam and then went to Bridget.  
"I'll finish the carriage outside and ask Hoss to let Koko know we're coming."

With his hat in his hand Ben left the office. When Adam wanted to go to Bridget, Paul held him by the arm. "Adam, I said, she's very stubborn and I'm not joking. Even though she'll surely tell you everything's all right, she should stay in bed for the next few weeks, otherwise she will lose the baby, as she did last year. Only that she would most likely not survive this time. Her body isn't strong enough at the moment."

Adam stared at the doctor. For a moment, he closed his eyes and repeated the words he had just heard. With clenched teeth, he opened his eyes and looked at Paul with blank expression. "When did that happen?" 

Now it was Paul, who raised his eyebrows in amazement. "Short time after the cougar attacked you, ... didn't she tell you?" 

Adam's gaze was now directed toward the door of the treatment rooms. "No."

Paul couldn't hide his surprise that Bridget hadn't talked to Adam about it. But he had already known her for several years now and had seen that she could be as stubborn as Adam. Surely she wouldn't tell him everything about her present state. "Adam, ..." The doctor's gaze was now very serious and he tightened the grip around Adam's arm. "... she really needs absolute rest. I cannot tell you why this is but already with Emilie the pregnancy has weakened her body very much. It takes all her strength, as if the body's fighting against the child, like a flu or injury. And that there's almost never any rest at yours, doesn't simplify things."

Paul watched Adam closing his eyes again and shaking his head slightly. "If she's going to survive this pregnancy, Adam, this should be the last. I don't assume that she would stand another. In any case, not in the next few years. Her body needs to get back to strength. Koko's herbs won't help either."

With a nod, Adam wanted to go but Paul still held him. "I have been with your father at the Ponderosa the last few days and have seen you at work. Adam, ... if she has to worry about you lying next to her, you won't help her. I'd be happy if you could come to me as well as to the shaman, so I can take a look at your back as I thought you wanted to be helped by us both."

Adam had to breathe deeply listening to his heartbeat, to calm down. "I'll be back next week." 

Then he opened the door with a jerk, leaving a thoughtful Paul back in the room.

XXXX

Finn put the newspaper aside and looked at the breakfast the waiter had just served him. He was torn if he should eat anything at all. At the moment the weather was very fine but once they had left the port, he would feel each wave in his belly. But if he didn't eat breakfast he wouldn't do any better. So he tried to repress the fact that he wouldn't have firm ground under his feet the next few weeks and that he would spend most of his time in the cabin of this ship. The only one who would be happy to see that this was probably his last voyage was his father who hadn't understood why he had to go to New York just for a lecture. Wasted time in his father's eyes.

If he wanted to know more about how best to work through a mountain, he could have done that at home in England. He did not understand why he wasn't more interested or participated more actively in shipbuilding like his brothers. There, his father saw the future, a faster connection between England and the New World. Last year, his father had changed everything in the company and his main attention was focused on that, so he couldn't understand his son continuing to work for the railroad. It was so incomprehensible to his father that he told Finn he had to pay for the trip to New York on his own because he wasn't willing to take money from the company. Finn had accepted it with a smile and booked a passage on the ship for the crossing on the same day. It wasn't only the discourse that had attracted him but he also wanted to get to know the land. In the beginning, the correspondence between him and Adam Cartwright consisted only of questions and exchanges of ideas as to how he could cope with the problems of constructing his railroad. Over time, the letters became more personal and Adam described how the young country was evolving and what possibilities there were to contribute his knowledge. Now he hadn't really seen much of the country except New York but that too had been very impressive.

But he couldn't stay much longer, because not only was his father alone at home but his money was slowly running out.  
Finely, Finn pushed the plate aside and poured himself some tea to dedicate himself once more to the newspaper.  
"Mr. O'Sullivan?"

Finn raised his head and looked at the hotel boy. "I have a letter for you and if you want, I can bring your luggage to the coach. The ship is scheduled to depart on time. " 

"Yes, you do that. I'll be right there."

The hotel boy gratefully accepted the tip from Finn and went back to the hotel lobby. Finn looked at his watch and was surprised at how long he had taken for breakfast. Then he opened the letter after reading the sender. Laughing, he put it in his pocket, took his belongings and went to the carriage. Still laughing softly at such an absurd idea, he leaned back into the cushions of the carriage and headed to the harbor.

His luggage stood next to him and Finn's eyes wandered along the big ship. People ran around frantically. Here and there commandos were yelling. The ship would leave in about an hour. Finn unconsciously laid his hand on his belly. He had promised his mother to come back to England before winter, before the storm season would start. It was already fall and the storm which he had experienced last week had already given him a taste of what might await him on sea. He reached into his jacket to get his ticket out. But instead he had the letter in his hand. For a long time he looked at it and wondered if the Americans weren't so crazy after all. The letter no longer seemed so absurd to him. Again he looked at the ship and thought about what he would have to expect in England. Long nerve-racking discussions with his father and his brothers. He wouldn't have the opportunities to implement his ideas and try new things but in this quite young country he would. Here he'd be his own boss. What could he lose but his pride, if it didn't work and he'd have to crawl back to his father? But if he could do it, his father might be dumbfounded for the first time that his youngest had pulled something off.  
Determined, he put the letter back in his pocket, took the suitcase and waved for a carriage.  
"To the station, please and if you pass a telegraph office, please stop."

XXX

Softly, Adam put the tray on the bedside table and was about to leave the room when Bridget grabbed his hand and held it. With a smile he sat down on the edge of the bed.  
"Are we too loud again downstairs?" 

Smiling, she shook her head. "No more than usual." 

"It's not for long and then it will be a little quieter." 

"If you let me get up, I could get things in line down there." 

He immediately raised his finger. "No way. You'll be fine in your bed looking at the mountains."

Affectionately Bridget stroked Adam's arm. "I'm feeling better. And I know every spot of these mountains. " 

"No. Not only did Paul say you should stay in bed, Koko also shares this opinion and I hope you will listen to her. What do you think she'll tell me when she'll come over later and see you running around down there?" 

"But I see that it's not running smoothly with the kids. I not only hear it but I also realize in the evening that the day has left its mark on you."

He stroked some hair from her forehead, then looked into her eyes and smiled. "Yes, it's not easy. Even if Giovanna and Rose are a great help, it is easier for me to keep a herd of cattle together than this gang of little rascals down there. But from Monday on, the school lessons will start again and then the children will come to rest again."

"You found a substitute for Simon? But not your father again?" 

"No, he and the children didn't want to challenge themselves again. Our new pastor is willing to take over the lessons until Simon is fully recovered." 

Silently, Bridget nodded, without letting Adam out of her eyes. "What's wrong? You see any problems I'm not aware of?"

"Well, …. on the one hand I'm surprised that you have found someone with whom YOU agree so quickly and then I wonder if that's such a good idea to have a pastor teaching. With our little tribe, he'll be certainly looking for a way out."

"It's only for a few weeks. What could happen during that time and quite honestly ..." Adam put his hand on his chest. "... it won't bother me a mite if he'll be looking for a way out. Since I wasn't even there on even one Sunday this year and surely have no intention to visit the Christmas Mass, I won't have so much to do with him." 

"I'm assuming you will have as soon as he sees our children."  
Only Adam's shoulders shrugged and he grinned slightly. "How's Simon actually doing?"

Shortly, Adam looked to the mountains. "He's already much better. He has survived the worst, I think. He's been damned lucky that Koko and the shaman could help him so quickly and he's a tough guy. It'll take him certainly a few more weeks but with Pelipa he's well looked after." 

Bridget tilted her head and looked closely at Adam. "Did you visit him and borrow his pipe? Why do I get the impression that you take it all very easy. There's been so much happening that usually makes you ponder but I don't notice anything."

He took a deep breath and took off his shoes. Then he sat down beside her on the bed and put his arm around her. Adam looked out of the window to the mountains. "The last few weeks have reminded me of what's really important in my life. Of course, I can blame myself for everything that happened but it wouldn't change or undo anything. I couldn't have prevented it. The decisions I made were right and I would do it again that way. It was your mother's decision to go this way. Maybe Lewis would have shot her anyway but she didn't mind, because she wanted it. Tom wasn't shot because of me, he simply did his job. He wanted to bring those responsible to account for the massacre of the settlers and Jenks trusted the wrong woman over ten years ago." 

Skeptically, Bridget looked at him from aside. "And Frederic?"

Adam leaned his head back against the wall and looked at the ceiling. "Since I know your brother, he was pretty easily influenced by others. Yes, he has unfortunately been a victim of Curt and Mara but he's old enough and knows me for so long that he should be able to realize that there's no spark of truth in those rumors."

Now he looked back at Bridget. "You told me in Boston, I can't always take care of him and take over all his responsibilities and you were right. Just as Little Joe has to learn to live with the consequences of his choices, so your brother has to. He's made a decision and now has to deal with the consequences." 

Bridget looked at him sadly. Then she leaned back against his shoulder. "Did Amarok talk to you?"

Soothingly she put her hand on his chest, as she felt his body tense. His voice didn't sound as confident as before. "No." 

"Why don't you go to the village and talk to him?" 

It took quite a while till Adam continued. "Aponi said I should wait until he comes to me. The whole matter got him pretty bad." 

"I can understand that. He has lost his father but is that the reason he doesn't talk to you for so long?"

Once again, Bridget felt the body of Adam tense. "He was about to lose even more on the day I brought his father to him." 

Adam's chest lifted and lowered several times as he breathed deeply. "Please, don't talk to Koko about what I'm telling you now. Amarok and Aponi have to do that, if they consider it's the right time." 

Bridget didn't look at him as she agreed but considered what he might tell her now.

"Amarok's tribe hasn't always lived here, as you know. Koko wasn't yet born when the Gosiute had to leave their native homeland. The army accompanied them to this point. All this happened in Winter and many of the elderly, as well as some of the children didn't survive the march. As Aponi told me, some of them just froze to death because they didn't have enough blankets to keep themselves warm. There was too little to eat and wood for a fire was hard to find. The soldiers didn't share their supplies with the Indians. They watched as they had to fight for their lives every day. One morning the son of Amarok and Aponi didn't wake up. They just had to leave him behind in his blanket. The army didn't allow the Gosiutes to bid good-bye to the dead according to their traditions. On the way the bodies were simply left behind at the places they had died. But they reached their destination and Amarok built the farm with Aponi. A year later, Koko was born. They never told her about her brother because Koko should get to know the world of Aponi unprejudiced. Then Koko and I became friends. The son of Amarok would have been nine years old at that time, just as I was. He had the dark hair of Amarok but otherwise he was more like Aponi. It was obvious that his mother was a white woman. Amarok is said to be very thoughtful the day he first saw me at the farm and the more my friendship with Koko deepened, the more I became Amarok's son. He not only taught me to understand his people, it was his way to deal with the loss. At that time I needed a father who understood me and he needed a son to be able to see the future again."

Adam had to take a break not to lose his inner balance. "On the day I came to the village and told him what had happened, he realized that again others would decide about the fate of his son and he could only have watched or stand up against his entire tribe. He knew exactly what he'd lose and had already lost. He only wants, like me, that both worlds can live together in peace."

Bridget still nestled closer to him. Once again she realized in what a ideal world she had grown up in but still, she would never have the idea of leaving from here. "Have patience, I firmly believe that he will come to you." 

Her thoughts circulated around what she had heard and she began to shiver. When she asked her question, she spoke very softly. "Adam, what about my father? They all visited me. But he wasn't even here one time."

Since she didn't get an answer, she moved away from him to look into his face.  
"Adam?" 

"Bridget, I don't want you to get upset." 

"But I will get upset when you don't tell me what's going on." 

He ran his hand over his face and then left it for a moment across his mouth. "This is one of the two points with which I cannot cope yet. ... Bridget by me and because we live here in Nevada, you have actually lost your entire family. If I hadn't made friends with Frederic then, you'd still all be together."

"What about my father, Adam?" 

"Like Frederic, he has packed his belongings and left. He blames me for the fact that his family is broken and he doesn't want to watch me having you on my conscience." 

Adam could see in her eyes how shaken she was. "He went back to Boston?"

"No, he lives in Carson City. He gave me the keys to the house and said I could do with it whatever I want to; he doesn't need it anymore. Every now and then he's in Virginia City to meet with his friends from politics. He's still holding on to this. In order to take root when we should get independent."

She leaned back to him and stared at the blanket. "As always, he thinks only of himself and blames others. Like my brother. Adam, neither you, nor anyone else is responsible for what paths my father or my brother take. If my father thinks my mother died just because she was here, let him believe that. I know even in Boston you couldn't have helped her either. Yes, I am sad and also somewhat angry that she was taken from me earlier by Lewis. On the other hand, I know how happy she was that it happened so quickly and she didn't have to suffer long. And to be honest, if I hadn't gone out with Curt, it wouldn't have happened at all." Vehemently she shook her head. "Adam, neither of us is guilty of this. We cannot feel responsible for the things Curt and Mara have done. If not we would have been their victims, then there would have been others. They were people who had no compassion for others. They have only thought about their advantage and how they could achieve their goals. We couldn't have done anything else to prevent that."

Adam took her tighter in his arms and kissed her on the head. Over time, he realized that Bridget wasn't opening her eyes anymore. He went to draw back his arm and lay her down on the bed when Bridget clung to him and leaned against him. Without opening her eyes, she talked to him. "Another five minutes, please. For that time the children and the Ponderosa have to get along without you."

Smiling, he lay down next to her and held her tight until there was a soft knock at the door. Cautiously it was opened and Koko looked in. Adam put his finger to his lips and stood up. Carefully and with a loving gaze, he covered Bridget and then went to Koko. They silently closed the door behind them. "How is she doing?" 

They talked in the hallway in front of the bedroom in a muffled tone. "She's doing a little better but she's still tiring very quickly. We didn't even talk for half an hour and now she's already asleep again."

"Did you tell her about Clement?" 

Adam nodded, glancing past Koko's shoulder. He was so angry about his father-in-law who left Bridget in the lurch.  
"And how did she take it?" 

"As usual, she doesn't show what she really thinks about it but I got the impression she's not as upset as I thought." 

Koko put her hand on his arm. "But you haven't talked to her about last year and what Doc Martin told you?"

Again Adam looked at the wall at the end of the corridor. He clenched his teeth. And he didn't look at Koko when he answered. "No. I will only talk to her about that when we have survived this. Anyway it turns out. This is a topic that won't be easy for both of us and she will surely get upset." 

"Wynono, never say die! The days will go b... " 

Adam took her in his arms and held her tightly. "Koko, sometimes the power of silence is stronger than any wisdom."

How long they stood there in silence, he didn't know. They ended the hug only when it got louder downstairs. "I'll go downstairs and help Rose and Giovanna and then prepare lunch. I'll ask the Great Spirit to stop the rain so we can send the children outside again." 

"Thank you, Koko. For everything." 

He put his arm around her and both went downstairs.

XXXX

Riccardo leaned over to Sarah. "What was his name again?" 

"Billinghurst. Mr. Marcus Billinghurst." 

Riccardo looked again at the teacher, who was standing at the blackboard with his back to the children. "I don't think I like him. Sarah, he's not much older than Little Joe." 

Ben's daughter tilted her head and looked at her substitute teacher. She had already seen him twice at the church service but she hadn't looked at him closely and hadn't listened to him properly. "My mother said we're supposed to be nice to him and not bring a letter home the first day." 

Sarah grimaced a little. "I should think of our good reputation. A pastor is an important person in the community." 

"Sally ..." Riccardo had now leaned back and spoke to her in a whisper. "When will your father come again?" 

Sally looked wide-eyed at the man on the blackboard. "I don't know exactly. He just got up for the first time again yesterday."

"Phew!" 

Riccardo shook his head. "These will certainly not be easy weeks." 

"Well ..." Mr. Billinghurst put the piece of chalk on the table and turned to the children. ".. there you can read how my name is written. Then let's see who you all are. Most of you I already know from the church service." 

He smiled at some of the children who already knew him. Then he went to the bench to Chesmu. "And what is your name, young man? Can you understand what I'm saying at all?"

Chesmus' dark eyes looked at him incredulously. 

"You have to get up and answer." 

Sarah had spoken with Chesmu loudly in the language of the Gosiute. Instantly the priest looked at her in astonishment and that was exactly what Sarah had expected. Even though she knew she'd get some trouble when she would bring a letter home the first day, she couldn't restrain herself. Slowly Chesmu had risen. "Chesmu."

Mr. Billinghurst's eyes wandered back to Adam's son. "Chesmu and do you live in the village near town, or are you from far away?" 

„hiyá" 

"I beg your pardon?" 

Desperately Chesmu looked at Sophie and then at his sister. He had no idea what to do or say. He had been in school for several weeks before Simon was shot and Simon knew who he was and where he lived. "The first thing you have to learn is our language, so we all understand you." 

"Then you will learn our language, too, so you can understand him?" 

Aiyana hadn't stood up. She looked at the pastor only challengingly. Mr. Billinghurst looked sternly at her. "Not only that you just interrupted when I was talking to Chesmu, no, you're still naughty and don't get up. On the other hand, what do I expect? Where you live, there are no such rules. What's your name?"

Slowly Aiyana stood up. Her gaze was unchanged. She had promised her father that the small tribe should give their substitute teacher a chance before they would dig up the hatchet again and that she should remember that in a few weeks Simon would take over the lessons again. "My name is Aiyana Cartwright and that is ..." She pointed to Chesmu. "... my brother, Chesmu Cartwright." 

"Cartwright? You just made that up. You're not related to Sarah. You know that lying is a sin?"

Briefly he put his hand to his forehead. "You can't know that but I'll teach you." 

The eyes of Aiyana grew small. "I do not lie. Sarah is like Sophie my aunt and Chesmu and Bernardo are my brothers." 

Before Mr. Billinghurst could answer, Riccardo had jumped up. "And I'm their cousin."  
With a grin he sat down again. Sally and Tyler couldn't stay on their seats from laughing.

"Silence ... !" He looked at Sally. "And who are you? You, I haven't seen yet on Sunday in church service." 

"I'm Sally Jenkins ..." Sally had stood up with a proud look at the priest. "We're not going to church because my parents are Indians and believe in the Great Spirit."

Open-mouthed, the pastor looked at the children. Then his voice became very serious. "If you think you can go on with lies, you're wrong. For your impertinence and lies, you will pick up a letter for your parents after school and Aiyana, ..." He was now standing by her at the table. "... since I don't assume that your father can read and write, you will tell him to come to me tomorrow after school, I'd like to speak to him. Since you know our language very well, I hope he will understand me as well."

"I'll tell him but I don't know if he's got time. At the moment he has to look after all the women and children who live at our home." 

With a horrified look, he made Aiyana understand that she could sit down again. He'd never guessed what he'd have to deal with here in Virginia City. Bernardo breathed loudly and shook his head. "That will give only trouble."

XXXX

After Adam had dismounted, he paused briefly at Sport and stretched his back. Done, he leaned his head against the saddle. He felt that today everything had gone wrong, not only on the construction site but here, too. At the ranch he should have been at ten places at the same time. In the office, he actually would have to do some work but right now it was just too loud in the house. He heard the door slamming behind him, so he pushed away from Sport and went to meet his brother. "Good evening, Hoss. If you're looking for Koko, she's down at my house."

"I know where my wife is." 

With raised eyebrows Adam took a step back. "Did you just argue with Pa? Then I shouldn't go to him." 

"No, I didn't." 

"Then what's wrong with you?" 

Several times Hoss poked his finger in Adam's chest. "Why do you always have to interfere?" 

With his hand, Adam crossed the spot and slightly grimaced. "What have I done?"

Hoss hung his head, his hands tucked in his pockets walking up and down in front of the porch. "Sorry, Adam. But once you're somewhere longer than five minutes, there's trouble ahead. I could have such a peaceful and quiet life with Koko on the farm but with who's friends with you there's always someone who wants to make life difficult."

"Hoss, you know I'm always trying to keep you out of that." 

Hoss stood in front of him, looking at him with a mixture of rage and anxiety. "Adam, Travis tells every evening what happened on that special day." 

Adam looked down at the ground. "Hoss, I'm sorry." 

"If Mitch hadn't been, ... .." 

"Hoss, he was there and that's the most important thing. It doesn't make him more sympathetic to me but I'm grateful for him doing just that."

Hoss still looked at him rather crestfallen. "Listen, Hoss. Tonight I've got something to discuss with Pa but tomorrow evening you will come to us and we all have dinner together. And then we will try out the new whisky I bought and have a talk." 

Hoss slapped his brother hard on the shoulder and went to his horse. "We'll do that."  
Adam was still watching Hoss riding down to his house to pick up Koko and the kids.

Then he turned and went into the house to his father who was sitting with the newspaper by the fireplace, raising his head in astonishment when Adam came in.  
"Good evening, Adam. You just missed Hoss." 

"I met him outside." 

He put down his things and stood in front of the fireplace. "How are you, Pa?" 

Skeptically, Ben folded the newspaper and put it on the table. "Fine. Thanks for asking."

With a nod, Adam sat down at the table and looked into the fire. Ben patiently waited for Adam to speak to him. But when his son was still silent after twenty minutes, he couldn't restrain himself any longer. "I'm glad you're coming to see me but I'd be glad if we'd talk."

Looking at his fingers, his son began to speak. "How is our young couple?" 

"It's not easy and they annoy me now and then but they will find their way if Hop Sing doesn't send Dianne to China before, because she turns the whole kitchen upside down in his eyes. But you haven't come here for this question." 

Softly Adam laughed. "No. I haven't. I need your help, Pa."

"I told you I'm there when you need me. What is it that you need me to do? Do you want us to take the children for a few days so that there is some peace in your house?" 

Ben could see how much his son was struggling. Again, the latter looked into the flames for a long time before he continued. "I had some problems with my back yesterday and I couldn't walk properly for at least an hour. Pa ..." Adam now turned to his father. ".. I need you here at the ranch again. I cannot manage it all by myself at the moment. The construction site, Clement's house, the ranch, Bridget, the children and on my desk in the office and here with you, the letters pile up. Then Curt's sentence will be carried out tomorrow. I should be in town."

Adam folded his hands behind is neck and looked at the floor. Ben got up and put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Tell me what to do? Shall I go to town tomorrow?" 

Adam exhaled loudly. "I'll do that. Although I'm always torn as to whether the gallows are the right punishment for a man like Curt. Wouldn't prison be a tougher punishment?" 

"Adam, he has not only one man on his conscience."

"Yes but for him the matter is over within a few minutes but not for us. In prison, he would have to think about it until his last day and live with it like we do. But I don't want to worry about that at the moment. Pa, can you please work at the ranch again? I'd take care of the office work in the near future and I'm already working on finding a solution for everything, so hopefully in one to two months we will have rest here again. But for that I must be able to move. If my back fails now, then I don't know how to go on."

"Of course I'll help you and I'm looking forward to getting Little Joe back to work." 

Adam turned his head to his father, who looked at him grinning. "Your brother still watches everything very easily. As well his marriage with Dianne. Visits to town are more important to him than to spend the evening here and when I watch him working outside I get even more gray hair." 

"Could it be that you are really looking forward to working more?"

"Yes, of course. What else do I have to do? My wife is at your house daily. Sophie and Sarah are at school and Clement went on the run. I have no desire to talk to Dianne all day, even though she is a very nice girl."

He gave Adam a slap on the back. "I'll get us something to drink and you'll tell me what to do." 

Adam watched his father pouring two cognacs and wondered if it wasn't a mistake to get him back to work.

XXX

With the mail under his arm, Adam opened the telegram and exhaled in relief. Just as it looked, not everything went wrong. He put the telegram into his pocket and quickly skimmed the mail. At one of the letters, he raised the eyebrows in amazement. He opened it and was even more surprised when he read the first lines. But since it was a longer letter, he put it back in the envelope intending to read it later after dinner. After putting the mail in his saddle bag, he swung himself into the saddle, regretting it instantly. He grabbed his back and hoped that Koko was already there when he came home. She then could put some ointment on his back. For Giovanna or Rose he would ask in no case and Bridget shouldn't worry unnecessarily. 

"Come on, Rusty. Let's get out of here before it's too late."

The gallows were built in the middle of main street. Slowly, Adam rode past and stopped next to Tom, who was watching the last works. "Adam, you're already here? It won't start until half an hour. You don't want to get a place in the front row?" 

Leaning at the saddle horn, Adam looked at the gallows. "Is he nervous?"

"In the last few hours he has experienced everything the world of emotion has to offer. At the moment he's angry. Angry at you. You have destroyed his life. Without you, he would now be happy in a seaside house in Boston. Whatever that means." 

Adam could only laugh bitterly at how many lives he had allegedly destroyed this year. He was the one who wouldn't harm others if he didn't have to. "And how are you doing, Tom?"

"It's my job, Buddy. It's not one of the most pleasant tasks but it must be done. I would have liked to have it back in the backyard, not here but people want to see him hang. Too big is the anger for him and what he did to the settlers. People have a guilty conscience because they have trusted him and one or the other has ridiculed you for your reproaches against him. But in an hour the nightmare's over and Curt belongs to the past."

Tom stepped closer to Sport. "Adam, you're welcome to go to my office and talk to him again, if you like." 

Adam still had his eyes fixed on the gallows. "I have nothing more to say to him and now I should slowly get out of here. Not only because I don't want to witness this spectacle but I also came to see how our substitute teacher is coming along."

Tom laughed. "Yes, I have already heard that the little tribe welcomed him kindly." 

"I will let him know that I've got no time this week and that I can't come to school until next week. Then I'll have enough rest for this kind of conversation." 

"Does he know who you are, or does he still believe the children were lying to him?"  
Adam pulled his hat deeper. "No idea. I'll see that next week. Take care, Tom." 

The Sheriff tipped his hat and saw Adam leaving. Then he set off for the prison.

XXX

Adam stood on the hill and looked down into town. From here he could see the gallows and the people standing around but he couldn't hear them. He only heard the wind that rushed in the trees. He didn't want to hear when the neck broke or Curt gasped for air. Even if the hatch opened quickly, it often happened that the delinquent didn't die instantly but was still struggling for his life for minutes. These were pictures he didn't want to see.

But Adam wanted to make sure that they had finally got rid of Curt. He stood in the stirrups as he saw Steve and Tom leading Curt to the gallows. They had to push him up the stairs. Just as the people around him were wringing their arms, Adam could imagine how loud it would be down there. Not for a million dollars he wanted to trade with Tom.

Tom and Steve had both to pin Curt, so that the noose could be placed around his neck. Then Tom stood at the edge with a note in his hand. He probably read the verdict again. Not only Sport but also Rusty and Adam flinched when they heard a shot. Tom had, as it looked, pulled his gun, because things were thrown on Curt and him. Adam could only shake his head at the behavior of some citizens of Virginia City.

Just a year ago they all would have invited the former teacher for lunch and now they couldn't see him hanging fast enough. Tom turned to Curt again, then left the platform.  
The moment the hatch opened, Adam's cheekbones twitched but he didn't look away. For some time he still watched as Curt's body swung back and forth. Then he took the reins and left the small hill.

XXX

Adam sat behind his desk and took out the letter. Smiling, he pulled the paper out of the envelope. It was the first letter he had received from Jörn. Otherwise he only heard from Tom what the boy was experiencing in Boston. He leaned back and stared reading.

 _Dear Adam,  
I thought, now it's high time to write and thank you personally with a few lines. But let's start with a surprise. Well, for me it was one and for Pietro anyway. But as Frederic has reacted, I assume that you didn't know that he's back here again. One day he was standing with Fabio outside the door and only asked if Pietro could take care of his nephew for a few hours. You can imagine that Pietro was in for a surprise. He asked him what he was doing here and where Giovanna and Riccardo were. Frederic shrugged and said without any emotion that he has left this snake in the grass - they were really his words - with her bastard in Nevada. Pietro didn't say a word. For that I still admire him today. I don't know if I could have done that. He took Fabio from him, took him to Carla and then returned. And then it went very fast. Before I could say or do anything, Frederic was already lying on the ground, holding his eye. Pietro had pulled him back up by his collar and pressed him against the wall. Then he had threatened him that he would rip out all his guts if he didn't tell what happened right away. In the end, Pietro laughed aloud telling him what a miserable wretch he was. He didn't want to give him Fabio back either but next day Frederic stood at the door with the police and Pietro realized that he had no choice. He only gave him the advice to look around closely, if he ever intended to come back to the working class quarter or the fishing village. Adam, I would have liked to bring Fabio back to Giovanny, as I can imagine how she feels now but we were hogtied. You know the laws. Tell her, please, how very sorry I am. However, I also assume that Pietro has already written her a letter.  
According to what I've heard in the university, Frederic has set up an office here in Boston but where exactly he lives now, I cannot tell you. If you want me to, I can find out for you. _

Shortly, Adam turned his gaze from the letter and wondered what had happened in Frederic. He couldn't have really believed that Giovanna's family would buy this story. More and more he got the impression that his former friend had lost his mind. Still stunned, Adam turned his attention back to the letter.

 _Now let's face some more pleasant subjects. I get along very well here in Boston and I am very grateful for all your advice. In the beginning, I did not really want to understand or believe it but over time I also realized what most of the girls are looking for. Especially after Tammy wrote to me that she would not wait for me, I had arranged to go out more often in the evening but with time I remembered your words and returned to my books. And Adam, thank you for the tokens but I really have to ask how you could afford them. A very nice club but obviously too expensive for me._

Smiling, Adam looked at the ceiling. He would have liked to tell Jörn, that he shouldn't visit this club every week. But the three marks he still had left, he had gladly given him. Because he would not come to Boston so soon and if Bridget would know he'd be going to such a club, well, he dared not think about it.

 _My studies I will finish as planned and so hopefully be back in three years in Virginia City. Like you, I cannot imagine staying here. In addition, I have to see if Little Joe has grabbed Tammy after she is no longer with me._

Again Adam had to smile. Jörn would soon learn about Little Joe and perhaps also with whom Tammy was going out. But Adam couldn't hide that he was really glad Tammy had made this decision. Jörn wouldn't have been the right guy for her. The man who was going out for dancing with her a couple of times lately fitted much better to her.

 _This weekend I'll go with Pietro and his brother for fishing and then stop at one of the many harbor bars. I'm glad I got to know Giovanna's brother. He has become a good friend of mine. Just like you. Once again, I want to thank you for everything that you made possible. I have not only found a new family with Tom and Sybil but I also have the opportunity to study here. If my father and you had given me no chance back then, I do not know how my life would have gone off. I'll never forget that, Adam.  
And before the letter gets sentimental, I'd rather end it here.  
Give my kind regards to everyone,  
Jörn _

Happy and relieved that Jörn was doing so well in Boston, Adam put the letter back into the envelope but he could only wonder about Frederic, though he hadn't expected it to be any different. So his idea, which he had had on the trail, had been the right one. Now he could only wait for mail from Frederic, that he wanted to have his share of the company. Fortunately, he had already spoken with his lawyer in town about how to best end the partnership. He ran his hand over his eyes and was about to get to work at his desk when Craig came running into the office with a pale face. Immediately Adam jumped out of the chair because he was counting on the worst just as the boy looked at him.  
"What happened, Craig?"

The boy only held out his hand and then pulled him to the door. Adam took a deep breath as he noticed who came riding to the house. He put his hand on Craig's shoulder. "You needn't be afraid. He's part of the family." 

Adam went to the house and waited for Amarok to get off the horse. "Does my Chaska have time to talk to me?" 

"Yes, I do."

"I'll be waiting by the creek for you." 

Amarok mounted his horse again. 

"And I'll tell Koko that I'm with you and then I'm coming, até ..." 

Only those who looked more closely could see how relieved they both were that the time of silence had now passed.

XXX

Hello Tom." 

Jenkins stood next to the Sheriff and looked down the street with him. "Is there anything to see?" 

"I'm doing my job here." 

Several times Jenkins looked up and down the street but couldn't see anything unusual.

"There's hardly anyone on the street, Tom. It's too cold." 

"Do I tell you how to teach the children?" 

"Are we in a bad mood?" 

"You're annoying, Simon." 

"Hello you two."

Adam came out of the shop and joined his friends. Jenkins raised his arms instantly. "Adam, be careful. Our Sheriff isn't in a good mood." 

Tom didn't say a word. But you could hear him breathing out loud. "Aren't you both expected at home?" 

"I didn't say anything." 

With his arms crossed, Adam looked at Simon with a smile. Tom turned to his friends and it was clear to see how annoyed and tense he looked. 

"Do you know what our Sheriff's lacking? Once again an evening with his two friends and without a badge."

Tom tilted his head and grimaced. "Great idea, Simon. I put the badge off, go into the saloon, take it apart and then spend the night in one of my cells and the next day I'm going back to be the responsible Sheriff." 

Adam whistled softly. "Jenks, the problem seems to be a bit bigger." 

"Watch out, guys. On Friday evening you come out to me and then we'll have a cozy evening. Only we three."

Adam scratched his ear and looked a little desperately. "I'd rather be at home because of Bridget." 

Jenkins slapped him against his belly. "Come on. Only for a few hours. It doesn't have to get out of hand as last time." 

"And I don't know if I can leave the town all by itself." 

Jenkins rolled his eyes annoyed. "What's wrong with you guys? Are you getting old? Of course you can leave the town alone. Steve has proved that he has everything under control, if you aren't there, or haven't you been satisfied with him when you rested in bed?"

Tom and Adam looked at each other. "All right, Jenks. I'll talk to Koko if she could stay with us a bit longer but we won't smoke again and I'll have to ride home before midnight and I'm not willing to walk back." 

"Tom?" 

Jenkins looked at the Sheriff, who took another deep breath. "I'll be there but I won't be touched in the head the next day." 

"Oh yes. And you'll be home on time with your wives but Tom, ..." He tapped the badge. "... that stays in town. I just want my friend Tom to be with me on Friday." 

They all nodded and said good-bye.

XXX

"Sorry, I'm a little late but Neisha wanted to get read something from her favorite book before sleeping." 

"That with the shoe?" 

Adam nodded and Jenkins began to grin. "Yes, I would always read it to her when you were on the trail in Summer. I think she hasn't yet understood why I can't speak French."

"Actually, Bridget did it usually but today she's just got up briefly and fell asleep again before the children did. So let's get started. I don't want to go home late. Also because of Koko. Hoss is also with us but now she's every day at Bridget. I won't overdo it." 

"There are only six to eight weeks to go, Buddy. Then you've made it. And it's much more quiet in your house now." 

Tom gave Adam a glass and poured it to the brim with whiskey. "Could you fill it anymore?"

"Buddy, you have to catch up. I've been here since dinner." 

Jenkins and Tom grinned and Adam looked more closely at his friend. "Tell me, Tom, have you smoked with him? 

With his thumb, Adam had pointed to Simon, who leaned back, grinning.  
"To us, Buddy." 

Tom had lifted his glass and held it out to Adam. "We wanted to spare that this evening, Jenks."

Simon leaned forward, took his glass in his hand and held it up as well. "YOU wanted to do without, not me and Tom wanted to try and now look at him. He's no longer grumpy and ill-tempered and besides ..." He held the glass slightly obliquely. "If I have to drink, then you can smoke with me." Immediately he raised his hand as he noticed Adam's gaze. "I have looked for not so strong herbs and leaves this time. Promise. You will find your own way home without taking a detour to the snakes."

With the face that Adam had now, his two friends laughed aloud. "Come on Buddy, let's have a nice evening. Leave everything outside the door and forget what was. Just let's have fun as it used to be." 

"Why do I always pick the wrong friends?"

Now Adam raised his glass as well. They toasted silently. With a loud bang Jenks put the empty glass on the table. "Now it's my turn." 

He took the pipe and the bag with the mixture of herbs and leaves.  
"And Buddy, do you already miss the noise at home? It must be really quiet after Rose and Giovanna have left with the children."

With arms folded behind his head, Adam leaned back. "I admit, I've caught myself twice as I've been looking at what the gang has done again, because it was so quiet in the house." 

"But do you see it now, Adam, that everything has its meaning?" 

Simon was now finished with the pipe and took the first two puffs.  
"But I could have done without some."

Then the teacher handed the pipe to Tom and leaned forward again. "But everything took a turn for the better. You couldn't have lived that way for all the time and Rose could never have kept all the children. Think of Giovanna. She's not a woman who sits back and takes things easy, maybe depending on you. Rather, she had gone back to Boston, although she'd probably lost Riccardo then, too."

Tom handed the pipe to Adam. "And the citizens of Virginia City could continue to satisfy their bad conscience." 

Before Adam took a puff from the pipe, he looked at it more closely. "It's really not that strong this time, Jenks?"

When Simon shook his head, Adam took a deep puff from the pipe. "And Buddy, for me it's easier now as well, should I have a child in the office again who doesn't know where to go. In the whole area there was no orphanage and those in California are hopelessly overcrowded. It was the best thing you could make out of the situation. The children can stay together."

"And as I've heard, enough donations have been gathered, so that Rose and Giovanna can easily get over the Winter." 

Tom poured some whiskey for himself and Adam. "Your father-in-law said you can do with his house, whatever you want and the conversion didn't take long. We really needed our own orphanage here in Nevada."

Thankfully Adam took the glass. "Yes, thanks to you. Well, you're right. It's a good solution for all of us. Giovanna and Rose understand each other very well and Giovanna can stand on her own feet and won't have to wait for Frederic to come back. Only Riccardo needs to get used to it. He would rather have stayed with us." 

"He will get used to it. The little tribe backs him up and so far he hasn't had any problems at school."

Adam looked thoughtfully at his glass. Then he picked it up and showed Tom to refill again. With the other hand he pushed Jenks' glass to Tom. "I want to thank you not only for helping me with the conversion and the move but also for the fact that we are still sitting together as friends after the incident with Curt. Both of you would almost have paid your friendship with me with your lives."

"Nonsense, Buddy. You didn't have anything to do with it. Pretty Mara would have at some point, somehow taken revenge on Simon and I ... I was just doing my job. Something like Lewis can happen to me every day." 

Smiling, Adam looked from Tom to Jenkins. "Thanks anyway, for being my friends."

Again Jenkins let the glass pound on the table. "You know what, ... we are joined by a lot and we have led a successful fight. We are somehow like the small tribe. But we should join more." 

Laughing, Adam took another puff of the pipe, before he returned it to Tom. "Just like the peace-pipe we already smoke."

Simon waved his hand. "No, we don't need that. Although ..." He tilted his head slightly, took the pipe from Tom and handed it back to Adam. "... just take another two or three puffs." 

"What are you up to, Jenks?" 

"Adam, you know the feathers that the Indians wear all have a meaning." 

"Hmmm." 

"Don't worry, friends, you're not going to walk around with feathers on your head but we too deserve one." 

"Jenks ...?"

With his right hand Simon struck his forearm. "That's the place it'll be. Our feather connecting the three of us. A red feather showing that we all have been wounded during the fight against the enemy." 

Slowly Adam raised his finger and shook his head. "Not only is that an absurd idea, I've not been hurt this time. Not even a black eye."

"But last year you had to take a lot from Curt. Take another puff, then you'll find the idea fabulous." 

Tom jumped up from the chair. "Hey Buddy, I think the idea is great and I'm in and if you're afraid people are looking funny at you because you've got a drawing on your arm, we'll just place the feather here." 

He turned around and slapped his hand on his buttocks. Adam's eyes grew wide and Jenkins collapsed with laughter. "I'll get the necessary things and tell Pelipa to help us. We don't have all night."

Adam wiped over his forehead. "Tom, you have a screw loose." 

Grinning, the Sheriff dropped back into the chair. "Nope. I just have fun, as I used to have. Come on, Adam. Think about all the crap we've been up to in the mountains. Let's not be so damned mature and decent today." 

"I haven't smoked as much as you did." 

Tom instantly handed him the pipe. "Well, then catch up, maybe I can inspire you towards my suggestion."  
Grinning, he hit his buttocks again. Meanwhile, Jenkins and Pelipa were back at their table. "Come on, take off your shirts."

Strongly, Tom slapped his friend against the arm, as the latter hesitated. If alcohol or pipe hadn't already shown their effects, Adam would surely have refused this suggestion but he slowly took off his shirt and handed Jenkins his arm. "Bridget will pack her bags when she sees this." 

Chuckling Pelipa stroked over Tom's palm. "If you'll find the right words and will be even more courageous, your wives will be ready to forgive and understand what the feather means to the Indians."

"Well, I'm royally brave." 

Clicking his tongue, Tom pointed to his butt. "Jenks, I think Tom shouldn't get any more of your herbs today." 

"Well, I have refilled it. Take two more puffs because it's connected with some pain." 

"Hok'ee, we should connect the feather with something special. We could lead the feathers to the palm of the hand and let them hang on to the first letters of Sybil and Bridget."

Simon looked at Adam's palm right away and began to grin. "You see, Wynono, again it makes sense, why have you no feeling in your hand. So I can make you a beautiful B." 

Adam looked at his hand and swallowed. "Don't we speak of a small feather?" 

Mischievously, Sally's father looked at him. "It was a long fight." 

He let go of the hand and took a small knife. "Before we begin, we still lack an important component for the color."

He pulled the knife through his palm and let the blood drop into the pot of red paint. Since Adam knew what was heading his way, he drank some of the whiskey and reached for the pipe.  
"Of course the blood has only a symbolic character. It's to connect us. For the color, it's not important but now let's get started." 

Jenkins handed the knife to Adam.

It was just after midnight when Adam looked at his arm. "Jenks, we have to talk about the term "small"." 

Adam cautiously ran the finger along the tattoo. He couldn't deny that it was a very good job that Jenkins had done and the B in his palm fitted beautifully to the feather but it now ranged from his hand up to just to the crook of his arm. The work of Pelipa looked very good on Tom as well and he proudly showed Adam his arm. "Buddy, when our fathers see this, they will go to the barn with us right away."

Laughing, he drank his glass empty. "I'm more concerned about what Bridget is going to say and what I'll say when I get back to my senses." 

Pelipa had taken everything away and returned with two small pots and leaves. Once again she took Tom's arm and pushed one of the pots and two of the leaves to her husband. "You should leave the leaves by tomorrow evening. After that, cream the tattoo with that ointment." She pointed to the small pot. Then she wrapped a bandage around Tom's arm and around his hand. "You should also leave the bandage for a week. Then come back again and I'll look at the tattoo to see if I need to fix anything."

"And now it's your turn to Simon." 

"Don't worry Tom, I'll get my feather, too but Pelipa will make it in peace tomorrow. We should rather celebrate that you're so brave warriors." 

Adam rubbed his nose with two fingers and shook his head. "I'd better go now as long as I still got some sense. I have to get up early tomorrow morning. The twins don't sleep as long as the others. " 

"One more round, Buddy. On us and the feather." 

"One glass and then I'm gone."

Tom just put down the glasses, when there was a knock at the door. Surprised Pelipa got up and opened it. The moment Hoss was standing in the room, Adam stood on his feet. The look of his brother made him instantly sober.  
"Adam, you need to come home. Joe's already on his way to town to get the doctor." 

"Bridget?" 

"Yes, come on."

"Hoss, it's too early." 

Hoss grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him with him. "Whether too early or not, you should come home now." 

"I'll come with you. Koko may need my help." 

Pelipa quickly packed a small bag and followed Hoss and Adam.  
Jenkins put his arm around Tom and smiled slightly. "They'll make it. Bridget is as strong and stubborn as Adam and the child will make it, too." 

"Do you think so?" 

"Sure." 

Tom and Simon watched as the three disappeared in the darkness.


	100. Chapter 100

Several times Adam poured cold water into his face but like an hour ago, it wouldn't take long and it would get worse again. His hands were resting on the shelf and he was standing in the kitchen with his head down. But soon enough he had to straighten up again because his right palm hurt too much resting on the shelf. If the small cut on the right side was so uncomfortable, he could be glad that he had no feeling in his left hand. Even now, although he wasn't quite clear in his mind, he wondered what had suddenly come over him to get this tattoo. Bridget would be upset if she saw it. Several times she had told him not to think of having a tattoo like Jenkins. He had to laugh bitterly. He still hadn't heard anything from Koko and Paul. Not even Pelipa had come down again and Adam knew that the longer it took, the less likely it would be for Bridget to make it. She didn't have the strength to get through a long birth. And as for the child, he could only hope that it was already as strong as Emilie back then but actually he knew it wasn't possible. Although Bridget hadn't lost any more weight, she hadn't gained weight as she should during pregnancy.

His gaze went to the mountains that lay in the dark and he wondered how he could go on if he lost Bridget. The anger in him was already so strong that he didn't know how to control it if she died. Adam heard someone coming into the kitchen but he didn't dare to turn around. He didn't want to hear that she hadn't made it.

"Adam ..." Hoss put his hand on his brother's back. "... she'll make it, even if she didn't feel well in the last few months, she's a strong woman." 

Adam was unable to give an answer. He put his hand over his eyes but since he hadn't restrained himself at Jenks, he was unable to find his inner peace to gain strength for the hours to come.

"Come on over to the others. You shouldn't be here in the kitchen all by yourself. We're here to help you." 

When Hoss took Adam's hand away from his eyes and looked at him, his brother could barely restrain himself not to show how frightened he was about the desperation in Adam's eyes. Usually Adam had always been the one who encouraged them in every situation and always said that one shouldn't look anxiously into the future. As his gaze was, so was Adam's voice. Silently and without hope. "Hoss, what should I do if she dies? How should I go on?"

"Adam ..." 

"Hoss, I don't want to lose her. I love her so much." 

Without hesitating even for a moment, Hoss hugged his brother. Not only to show him that he was with him but also because Hoss' fear was just as big and he didn't want his brother to know it. He rarely had seen Adam so emotional. Surely it was also due to the evening with Simon and Tom that his brother so openly showed his feelings.

"You won't lose her, Adam. And Bridget doesn't want to lose you either, so she'll fight and make it." 

Several times Adam hit his fist against Hoss' arm. Then he stepped back and the moment in which he had shown his feelings so clearly was over. With a deep breath he looked at Hoss again with his typical deadpan look. "Let's go back over there, Hoss."

He passed his brother but then stopped briefly. He didn't turn to face him. "Thanks, Hoss." 

Hoss put his hand on Adam's shoulder and they both left the kitchen.

XXXXXX

With his hand on the door handle, Adam stood in front of their bedroom. Paul had just come downstairs to get him and talk to him. Now he had to try to get his feelings under control. By no means he wanted and could show what it looked like inside him right now. He found it just damn hard to show confidence. So he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. Then he opened the door and quietly entered the room. Very hesitantly, Adam closed the door behind him. Koko got up from the bed, came to his side and squeezed his hand. Afterwards she left the room with Pelipa.

Bridget turned her head to him, looked at him with small eyes, trying to smile. But it was obvious how much strength she had lost in the last few hours. He didn't sit down on the bed but knelt in front of it. Then he took her hand and after kissing it softly, he held it tightly. He wanted to be strong but it was so hard for him. So he put her hand to his forehead and bowed his head. After recollecting himself, he tried to smile. Adam got up and sat on the edge of the bed. Very carefully, he pushed the blanket aside and ran his thumb gently across the forehead of the baby lying in Bridget's arms. "She's so small."

Lovingly Bridget looked at her daughter. "But she's a fighter. She hasn't given up and ..." Her look was a little sad as she paused. "... she won't give up either." 

Bridget looked at Adam and tried to smile again. "After all, she's a Cartwright and they don't give up that easy."

Done, Bridget leaned back in the pillows. As he spoke softly to her, he took the child from Bridget. "Then please remember that you too are a Cartwright who won't give up." 

Her eyes were still closed when some tears ran down Bridget's face. Gently, Adam put his hand on her cheek. And tenderly he wiped away some tears. "Adam ..." She didn't open her eyes and her voice was weak and very quiet. "... in the dresser at the bottom there's a box."

Again she couldn't hold back her tears. "She has sewn it especially for her. She was so confident that she could hold and see our child." 

Carefully, Adam placed his daughter next to Bridget. Then he knelt down in front of the bed again. He took her hand and put his other hand he on her forehead, gently stroking her hair. "She sees her. She's here with us." 

For a moment, Bridget opened her eyes. "I miss her, Adam."

"She will always be part of you. And our little darling will always be part of her too. This way you cannot forget her."  
Bridget tried to raise her hand to touch Adam's chain. "Please, ... talk to the pastor. He should baptize her today, because if she won't make it, ... " 

Tenderly Adam put his forehead to Bridget's. "She will make it and you too."

"She should wear the christening robe my mother sewed for her ..." 

Several times Adam had to swallow. "I'll talk to him, he'll come and she'll wear it." 

Adam felt Bridget breathe with relief. He continued to kneel in front of the bed and held her hand. When he thought she had already fallen asleep, she started to talk to him again. "We need a name for her ..."

He looked at his daughter, who slept peacefully on the bed. He felt like she was smiling, her features were so relaxed. She was so tender and had to go through so much already. So many thoughts were whirling through his head. Would he - like he did for Neisha - have to read her the book of Cholette later? He had to smile. It seemed like Claire and George were the only ones who came after him. And then he knew what his daughter's name was. He turned back to Bridget and touched her forehead tenderly. "We should name her after your mother."

"My mother?" 

"Believing that the soul of the dead can be found in everything that surrounds us, in the rustling of the leaves, the glitter of the water in the morning light and also in the snowflakes that are just outside our windows, I also believe that she sees what a beautiful granddaughter she's got. It will make her happy when she senses we won't forget her and think of her for many years to come."

He could see that Bridget was really at the end of her tether because she still didn't open her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks again. Even quieter than before was her voice. "I love you, Adam ... but your mother is here, too ... she too ..." 

She didn't have the strength to continue. "Then our daughter will be named Cholette Elizabeth and since we both will have good memories, her Native American name will be Sitala."

Only slightly Bridget squeezed Adam's hand. But neither did she say anything, nor did she open her eyes. With both hands Adam held her hand and stayed kneeling by the bedside. He didn't hold back his emotions when she fell asleep. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice Koko entering the room and just winced as she put her hand on his back. Without letting go of Bridget, he looked up at Koko. He took a deep breath, kissed his wife's hand gently and slowly stood up. Koko took his hands and looked into his eyes. "Don't give up hope, Wynono."

Adam's gaze first moved to Bridget and then to his child. "They are both so weak." 

"Wynono, look at me ..." Adam's eyes returned to her. ".. Pelipa and I will be here every day and with every passing hour, chances increase that you'll be able to watch the mountains together in Spring. Doc Martin said the next few hours will be decisive."

Adam couldn't meet her eyes any longer. First his gaze went to the ceiling and then to the window. "Koko, Winter's still so long. If she has a flu ... " 

Koko put her finger to his lips. "Pelipa and I will do everything we can to help them recover. Don't look anxiously into the future." 

"But it's so hard not to Koko."

"Now think about your other children, too. When they wake up, they will want to know what's going on with their mother. Remember the fears and feelings you had back then when Hoss, Little Joe and Sophie were born and how much you wanted your father to take those fears away from you."

With cheeks twitching, Adam's eyes narrowed. Then he nodded his head and looked at Koko a little more confidently. "I'll make some coffee ..." 

"I'm here for you too, Wynono." 

Adam nodded again. Then Koko looked puzzled over his hands, which she still held. "What happened?"

Adam let go of her and turned his hands so that he looked at his palms. He shrugged. "Nothing bad. Everything will heal again." 

Koko tilted her head skeptically but Adam just exhaled and headed for the bed. Carefully, he first covered Bridget and then took Cholette in his arms. Again, his cheekbones twitched as he felt how light and how thin she was. "I'll go downstairs with her for a moment." 

Koko and Adam exchanged looks that said more than words. Even though Koko had tried to be strong, Adam could see that she was as worried as he was.

XXXX

On the way to town, Adam's thoughts kept coming back to Bridget and his little daughter. The first few hours the two had survived well. Both had eaten a little but then fell asleep again. Bridget had only looked at him gratefully when he had told her that the other children were fine and that he'd ride to the pastor's office after noon. Even though she has been less and less in church ever since she was married to him, Adam knew how important it was for her that the children were baptized. He was glad that they both agreed that their children should get to know both sides. The faith of the Indians and the Whites. However, he would have liked to forego the conversation today. Not just because of the circumstances but also because the first meeting between Mr. Billinghurst and him wasn't exactly the best. They hadn't quarreled over the conversation at school but it had been very clear how horrified the pastor was about the conditions at Adam's home. At first he was surprised when he learned that Adam really was the father of Bernardo, Chesmu and Aiyana. But when Adam told him that he had no intention of taking away their culture and beliefs from Aiyana and Chesmu but - on the contrary - that he would continue to support the two in not forgetting that, Billinghurst couldn't hide how shaken he was.

Before he knocked on the door of the rectory, he tried again to find his inner balance. Not only were Billinghurst and his opinion diverging as far as his belief was concerned, Adam also had some problems with taking the pastor seriously. He estimated him to be three or four years older than Little Joe and yet he wanted to explain to him how he would educate his children.  
As expected, the pastor looked surprised when he recognized Adam. "Mr. Cartwright, what brings you here? You haven't changed your mind in some ways?"

Adam closed his left hand in a fist to calm himself. The evening with Tom and Jenkins and the night without sleep had left their mark on his mind. "Mr. Billinghurst, I don't have much time and wouldn't like to have a discussion with you like I had at school." 

"The way you look, it seems to be a bigger problem but I'm here to help members of my community in need. Even those who don't come to me on Sunday."

Adam exhaled deeply. Touching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, he tried to keep calm, thinking only of how important it was for Bridget to fulfill her wish. "My daughter was born tonight and since we don't know if she and my wife will survive the next few days, we would like to have our daughter baptized today."

Arrogantly, the pastor looked at him in silence. And the longer the silence between the two prevailed, the more Adam's jaws hurt. "I haven't seen your wife on a Sunday at church. But she's not an Indian?"

With one step Adam stood close to the pastor. He found it really hard to hold back so that he didn't simply grab Billinghurst by the collar, throw him over the saddle and then ride home with him. "You may not have seen her yet, because she had to stay in bed since you came to stay with us and no, she's not an Indian. And now, I'm asking you again if you will come out or not, otherwise I'll ride over to Carson City. I don't have to give long explanations there." 

"Of course I will come along. One moment please."

He turned around and walked back into the house and Adam went to his horse. He could still hear the pastor muttering softly to himself that this would be a good opportunity to get an impression of what Adam's house looked like. Adam just rolled his eyes and got into the saddle.

XXXXX

"Are you sure we should go up to the Ponderosa for dinner? I don't want you to overdo it." 

Bridget took Adam's arm as she walked down the stairs together. "We're only going to Emillia and Ben for an hour or two and I have to see something different other than our house and the mountains. I couldn't be with you at Christmas." 

Bridget looked around. "Did the children already go ahead?"

"Yes, they did. They've been wonderfully taking care of Claire, George and Neisha in the last few weeks."

He took Bridget to the sofa. "You shouldn't think of going alone. I'll get Cholette and then we'll get there together." 

"With the buggy?" 

"Yes, with the buggy. Bernardo has already got it ready. You may be able to walk there but back I think you might be done. Remember, this is the first time you've left the house so far and so long. As well, our petite puce shouldn't be in the cold for so long."

Smiling, Bridget looked at Adam as he went back upstairs. After almost seven weeks, she would finally leave her home again. Of course, she was aware that the afternoon would be quite exhausting but she finally wanted to join the others again at the table. Although she had to make sure she didn't roll her eyes too much. As Adam had said, Dianne only needed to point her finger at something and Joe would jump up right away. Not that she didn't understand, because Dianne's baby could come any day but as Adam told her, the two had behaved that way since Christmas. Emillia said that was Dianne's way of preventing Joe from going to town with friends all the time but Joe didn't see it that way. He still went to the saloon several times a week.

Bridget was grateful not only to Koko and Pelipa for having been here every day for the last few weeks but also to Adam for having a husband who always thought of his family first and that they were all fine. And although it wasn't always easy with him, Bridget didn't regret for a second having stayed back then. Bridget knew that if she had died after the birth of Cholette, it would have been a tough time for Adam but he would never have let the kids down. He would have helped them to get over the loss. Bridget had noticed exactly how much Bernardo's anxiety had increased in recent weeks that he might lose another mother. Too present were the events surrounding the death of his mother. Chesmu could barely remember his real parents, so his fear was limited. He was also more attached to Adam. If something would happen to him, it would certainly affect Chesmu. Aiyana missed her parents for sure, even if she found it increasingly difficult to remember the time with them. But for her, her parents had died in a fight and Aiyana shared the opinion that she didn't need to shed tears because they had died honorably. And the three little kids didn't really know what was going on. In their eyes, Bridget was just a little sick.  
She had to smile again when she saw Adam coming down with Cholette in his arms. He was so worried about her. Every night he got up several times to check on her. He paid close attention to whether she ate enough and also gained weight. With George, he had only been worried that he wouldn't become a cowboy but with his petite puce, he was always afraid that she might not make it. Bridget smirked. His daughter would hate him if he called her "my little flea" for the rest of her life. Still, it was nice to see how much he cared about her. Even if he overdid it sometimes. She only had to sneeze once and he looked at her anxiously. Koko and Pelipa had thrown Adam out of the room several times because he wanted to keep her in his arms day and night to protect her against everything and everyone.  
He took Bridget's hand and helped her get up. She looked at Cholette tenderly and then at him. Then she gave him a kiss. Amazed, Adam looked at her.

"How did I deserve that?" 

"Just like that." 

He grinned and both went outside to the buggy.

XXXXX

Finn looked out the window of the coach and couldn't believe it. After so many weeks, or better, months, he had finally arrived in Virginia City. But what he saw made it really hard for him to decide whether he should get off the coach or not. The further he had gone to the West, the more often he wondered if he had made the right decision. Especially as the political tensions in the country continued to increase. And after the South finally left the Union, all the newspapers were talking of an imminent outbreak of war between the North and the South. Finn had already experienced that. One of the trains in which he had been traveling stopped in the middle of nowhere, because the engineer decided that he wouldn't drive a yard further into the territory of the Union and certainly wouldn't want to transport any northerners. They should see for themselves how they could continue their journey on foot. The conductor then moved around, not to control the tickets but to see who he thought might come from the north. Since Finn had a newspaper in his hand, which in the opinion of the conductor wrote too much for the north, Finn found himself very quickly off the train. With his suitcase in his hand, he and his fellow passengers looked on in misery as they watched the train disappear.

The coaches he had to take weren't even on time once. Twice he was to enjoy the fact that the coach he was in was ambushed. His luck was that he had carried almost no money with him. He had accepted the loss of his pocket watch. And he didn't want to think about the hotels, which became more awful with each town he stayed. And then it happened again and again that he didn't understand when someone talked to him. Some of what was spoken here wasn't very much related to the English language. So he wondered what he would have to expect here in Virginia City, Nevada. He would probably have to get his tea from New York. If the mail ever came this far at all.

But Finn had to gavel himself. He wasn't quite fair to this young country. The mail had to find its way here, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to communicate with Adam Cartwright by letter. However, he had already wondered if there would possibly be another Virginia City. He couldn't really imagine that someone who wrote like Adam would live here, let alone build a railway. Finn paused briefly. Could it be that the project was the size of a funfair railway? Had he gone all this way to have a laughing fit?

The coach stopped and he was kindly informed that he had to get out now. So he stood beside the coach, slapped the dust out of his clothes and looked around. He had no idea where to would find his future partner now. Most likely not in town but outside on his ranch. But should he rent a horse and ride to Ponderosa? What if there were Indians here? He had seen them on his journey.

But they only stood at some distance and watched the coach pass. But that was enough to increase Finn's heart rate. He looked down the street and shook his head again. No, it was the right decision he had made in New York. He knew that things were different here than in London. He knew that the Americans were not in the least like the English. Because apparently most of them had thrown overboard decency and good behavior during their crossing. Finn burst out laughing. Would his father claim that as well once he had lived here for a few years?

"May I help you?" 

Finn turned and looked at the man standing in front of him from top to bottom. No police officer in London would walk around like this sheriff. But the badge looked real, so this should really be a man who hopefully kept to the letter of law. As well a point he was able to experience painfully on his journey. The sheriff with whom he had been in contact after one of the raids on the coach could neither read nor write. And was bothered more that nothing had happened to the new ladies for the saloon. When Finn wanted to point out the real issue, he found himself on the floor with a bleeding nose. The friendly note that he had an hour to leave town, he had gotten for free from the sheriff. Whereupon Finn wondered if he should ask about Adam Cartwright at all. Not that there would be more important issues in this town as well. So Finn pointed to the coach. "I just got here." 

"Yes I've seen that. But also that you haven't been expected and that you apparently don't know where to turn."

Finn was impressed. The sheriff had talked to him two whole sentences without cursing. What a progress. So he could be a little bolder. "Since I didn't have the chance to share my exact time of arrival because I had to take a pot of luck if a coach would find the way to Virginia City at all, it would have been a waste of time and money, to inform someone by telegram that I'm on my way."

Now it was Tom who slowly shut his mouth. He had never heard anyone speak that way before. He pushed his hat back slightly and put his hands akimbo. "Yes, …. but now you are here and I wonder what exactly YOU're up to."

In Tom's eyes, the man had to be a swindler. Nobody else talked like that. At least noone here in Virginia City or the surrounding area. Tom stuck his head forward and looked Finn straight in the face. "Are you coming from Boston?" 

That was the only place that Tom could imagine where you talked like that. "For heaven's sake, no. I'm not American. I'm English and I'm from London." 

"Oh, .. all right. And what do you want here?" 

"Work." 

"As what?"

Now Finn wasn't quite sure if this conversation wouldn't end up like the last he had with the other sheriff. The man's sound in front of him had changed slightly. "Would you have the kindness to tell me where to find suitable accommodation for the next few weeks? And please, if there's a chance, I wouldn't like to share the room with chickens, dogs, cats or drunken tramps."

Laughing Tom looked at his counterpart. "Mister, the way you talk, you'll need the room for two days only. After that you will have already been shot if you keep on talking like that." 

Finn was visibly confused. "Did I say something wrong or express myself incomprehensibly? Should I speak more slowly?" 

The Sheriff exhaled, wondering if he should leave Steve the safety of this Englishman. He doubted that he would even make it to his place of accommodation without getting a black eye. The gold miners in town wouldn't listen to him as long as he did. "I think it's better to take you personally to Mrs. Hawkins." 

"No need. I am perfectly capable of finding the way if you describe it to me correctly." 

Tom just waved his hand that Finn should follow him and started walking. Hesitantly he followed. "You haven't told me what you want to work here as and what your name is." 

"I think it does not matter what business I do. And you did not ask for my name, ergo, I did not mention it to you either. I had to find out very quickly on my journey here that the exchange of pleasantries would gladly be dispensed."

"I'd like to know it." 

"O'Sullivan. Mr. Finn O'Sullivan from London, England and with whom do I have the honor of talking to?" 

Tom instantly stopped and looked at Finn. "You are O'Sullivan? The engineer from England?" 

"My goodness ..." Finn put his hand on his chest. ".. you know me here in this small town?"

He was startled. "I have not broken a law and there is a warrant for arrest against me?"  
Tom laughed out loud and grabbed Finn's arm. "I know someone who is waiting for you eagerly. But whether this partnership will be better than the last, I don't know yet."

Finn tried to wriggle out of Tom's grip who had held him in a way that he had no chance. So he got himself dragged into the saloon. "Buddy, I have something for you." 

Adam stood with Hoss at the counter and slowly put down his glass of beer when he noticed Tom and Finn. Then he raised his finger and shook his head. "Tom, that's not one of my kids and he's definitely too old for the orphanage." 

Finally, Finn was able to free himself from Tom's grip. "Could you please explain to me your improper behavior? I only politely asked for accommodation. Nothing more." 

Grinning, Tom leaned against the counter. "Buddy, this is Mr. O'Sullivan. Finn O'Sullivan. Your engineer from England."

Now even Hoss laughed next to Adam, as he looked at Finn closely. "Adam, once again you have proven how good you are. First a Frenchman who didn't fit in here and now an Englishman who can't even speak properly. But you've got him into a saloon after all." 

Angrily Adam looked first at his brother and then at Tom. Then he shook Finn's hand. "Finn, nice that you're finally here."

Amazed Finn took the offered hand. "And with whom do I have the pleasure?" 

Adam grinned all over his face. "Cartwright, Adam Cartwright." 

Finn's eyes grew as big as saucers as he took a closer look at Adam who had previously helped Hoss repair the fence on one of his paddocks. Now, at the end of February, the muddy ground and the constant rain was a daily companion at work. Cautiously, Finn shook hands with Adam and told himself several times that everything was going to be alright. The letters he had exchanged with Adam had shown him that he was dealing with an educated and polite man.

Since he no longer assumed that there were two Virginia City, in which then two Adam Cartwrights lived, everything had to be alright. "I am delighted that we can finally meet in person and look forward to the upcoming cooperation." 

"Hoss, .." Adam turned briefly to his brother. "... I will quickly show Finn where he can live in the near future and where our office is. I'll be back soon." 

"Take your time. I won't get any trouble at home if I'm late."

Eyes pointed to the ceiling, Adam went to the exit. Shortly before the end of the counter, Mitch suddenly stood in their way and laughed at Finn. "Well, you always surprise me, wimp. Now you finally got rid of one pussy, now you get the next on your site. I can already see that you two don't fit together." 

"Let it go, Mitch. Not today."

"What's up, Cartwright, do I have to say something against your little Indi..." He stopped talking as he noticed Hoss looking in his direction. His eyes went back to Finn. "I'll give the guy two weeks, Cartwright, then he'll skip town, too." 

Finn put his hand over his eyes and wondered once again what had become of all the people who had settled here. "Mister ..." 

Finn looked at Mitch questioningly, who still laughed disparagingly. "Did you hear that, wimp? Your new friend called me Mister."

Mitch crossed his arms and tried to look at Finn quite seriously. "Sanders, Mister Mitch Sanders and what are you?" 

"Who are you .."

"I told you. Sanders, Mitch Sanders. Didn't you listen to me?" 

"Yes, I did. I only corrected you because your question was wrong." 

Gently, Adam touched Finn's arm. "We should go now."

Behind Adam at the bar, Tom barely could hide laughing. He had quietly bet with Hoss when Mitch's patience would wear thin and he'd punch Finn. "I would like to go on but the nice Mister Sanders stands in my way." 

Mitch leaned forward. "Then go past me, you cockalorum." 

"No. You have behaved rudely towards us, by simply standing in our way and just because you insult me, I'm not going to be afraid of you." 

"Finn, ..."

Discreetly Finn pushed Adam's hand aside. "No, Adam, just because Mr. Sanders thinks with his appearance, similar to that of a gorilla, I would be afraid of him? Well, he is mistaken. Would you please step aside now, Mr. Sanders? I do not want to stand out on my first day here because I had to give your nose a new shape." 

His face full of questions and his eyes very small, Mitch looked from Finn to Adam. "Cartwright, what's he talking about?" 

"Mitch, just let us pass."

With his flat hand Mitch now bumped into the chest of Finn. "I don't know where you stuck-up pig came from but here guys like you are fed to the cattle before breakfast." 

The moment Mitch tried to hit Finn's chest again, Finn grabbed Mitch's wrist with his left hand and twisted it. With his right hand he slapped him hard on the nose. Gasping, Mitch knelt on the ground in front of Adam and Finn. "Mr. Sanders, I am a very polite person and I usually try to avoid such situations. But if you do not take me seriously, just because I pronounce some words differently and do not look like a little boy who just played in the yard in the dirt, that doesn't mean that you should underestimate me. Have a nice day." 

Finn passed Mitch and opened the saloon door for Adam. Grinning Adam looked first to Mitch and then to Tom, who just waved off. Still grinning, Adam followed Finn.

XXX

With a deep breath and closed eyes Bridget stood at the door of Doc Martin. "Bridget, ... so nice to see you back here in town." 

She opened her eyes and with a beaming smile she greeted Sybil. "You can't imagine how glad I am to finally be able to be up for more than three hours a day."

"But don't overdo it again. When we visited you last week, we clearly saw how exhausting everything is for you. Do you have to go now, or do you still have time for a little chat?" 

Bridget looked around. "Since Adam it seems, isn't finished with his errands yet, I still have time."

The women went to the buggy, which stood in front of the doctor's office. Bridget handed Cholette to Sybil to better get in the carriage. Then she took the child from her again and her friend sat down next to her. "What did Doc Martin say? He should have been satisfied with both of you?" 

"You know Paul. He would have liked to see me go to Boston for the rest of the year to recover properly."

Happily she stroked Cholette's head. "But you're right. Just today he admitted that he didn't really believe that we would see her through it and that, in his eyes, I recovered quite quickly. Sybil, you cannot imagine how grateful I am to Koko and Pelipa. They were with us day and night during the first weeks after birth. Without them …" 

Bridget could only shake her head and Sybil smiled at her. "Koko's something special. She was already like that in school."

"I always have to smile at the thought, Sybil. I find it hard to imagine how Tom, Koko, Adam and you were in school. Especially when I look at our children, what they're up to."

Sybil raised her head and looked down the street, thinking. An amused glint appeared in her eyes. "Koko and I were friends at school but we weren't close friends. I think besides Adam, there wasn't much room for another friend. Koko had quite some problems back then when Adam was starting to be on tour with Tom in the afternoon. But not only her. Of course I was never mad at Tom but always blamed Adam for Tom not having any time for me. During that time, those two have quite often skipped school and noone had bet a dime that Tom would become Sheriff one day."

Sybil paused and put her hand on Bridget's arm. "But before I forget, what are Dianne and her baby doing?" 

"Do you really want to know?" 

Tom's wife started laughing. "Still that bad?" 

"I try to put it nicely, Adam gives his dad till the roundup. By then he will probably throw them out of the house at the latest." 

"I thought it had gotten better after the birth of Mary-Beth."

"Just as Emillia and Adam told, it started already before Christmas. Dianne has stopped all the activities in the house and Little Joe has complied with her every wish which he probably only does so that he can go to town without feeling guilty. Emillia didn't say anything because Dianne's still very young and didn't have to do so much at home. But now Mary-Beth is almost two months old and Dianne still isn't involved in the household. Ben's said to have been almost about to burst last weekend when Joe brought Mary-Beth downstairs to have Hop Sing serve breakfast in their room for himself and Dianne."

"Those two were made for each other but both should learn pretty quickly what it means to grow up." 

"Dianne, I think, would understand very quickly if Little Joe was a little different. She just enjoys being so cared for and Joe's just Joe. She thinks the work will be done by someone. I'm curious to see what happens when Ben joins the roundup again this year."

"Ben joins them? I figured now that Adam has again someone for the site, he wouldn't need Ben any longer. Bridget, I cannot imagine Ben doing what Adam tells him to do."

Bridget sighed loudly. "Yeah, what should I say? My dear husband thought his father would notice when he didn't need him that much any longer. But Ben has plunged back into work with such eagerness that Adam still doesn't really know how to stop him now without a dispute. At the moment it's not that bad for Adam, because Finn has to settle down a bit. It's not running quite smoothly on the construction site. Not because Finn lacks experience but because the workers have some problems with his way of communicating. Of course Adam will help me a lot with the children but if the cattle drives start again soon, then I think that it will result in one of the special conversations between Ben and Adam."

"Oh yes, I've heard that Mr. O'Sullivan is very British. I'm actually surprised that he gets along so well with Adam." 

"I got the feeling that Finn isn't that British at all but he loves this reputation and tries to find his place here. But he immediately fell in love with Koko and her teas. He's always asking Adam for supplies because he doesn't dare to get close to the village yet but Adam said after the roundup he'll show him the way to Koko and won't bring a single pot of tea for him. The two will be just fine. The humor between the two is sometimes very similar."

"Then I'm curious if he will also become a member of the new tribe." 

Amazed, Bridget looked at her friend. "New tribe?" 

"Didn't Adam tell you? I scolded Tom so much because at first I thought Cholette was born so early because you saw what the three of them were up to and that's what got you so excited." 

"I don't follow your drift right now."

"The night your daughter was born, our guys were with Simon and if I could, I'd forbid Tom any contact with our teacher. Tom and Adam have always been special but with Simon together, they've surpassed anything they've ever done."

"Sybil, don't be so strict. It's true that when Adam's on tour with Simon, he doesn't feel too well after. But I'm glad that he has such good friends in both of them and sometimes comes out of his shell and has fun and the evening wasn't quite that wild. I've already experienced Adam differently when he came home from Simon." 

Sybil looked at her in horror. "You're watching that pretty easily. And I thought, you didn't like that too. And that evening shouldn't have been too bad? Well, Tom didn't come home until the next afternoon and I've seen him several times when he drank a bit too much. Especially before he accepted the job as Sheriff. But what was standing in my living room wasn't my husband. I just sent him to bed and it wasn't until Monday that he was able to return to his office. After digesting this shock, the next one followed a few days later and what I saw at Christmas left me speechless."

She raised her hand and blew out loud. "I'm getting too excited about it again." 

"You're so upset with him because he drank a bit too much and, I'm assuming, smoked as well?" 

Shaking her head, Sybil leaned back. "I think you really don't know what I'm talking about? Since I cannot imagine that Tom lies to me, Adam should look just like that." 

Bridget tilted her head questioningly, signaling Sybil that she still couldn't follow her. "My dear Bridget, when did you last take a closer look at your husband? Starting with his arms, his hands and the rest of his body?" 

Bridget blushed slightly. "Sybil, what are we talking about?" 

Sybil cleared her throat. "I start harmless. His hands?" 

"I see them every day. There's nothing unusual." 

"Palms?" 

Bridget shrugged again. 

"Arms?" 

"Sybil, just say what you mean. In the last few months, I have looked at everything else but not my husband's body."

"Don't tell me he has no feather on his left arm." 

"Feather?" Bridget thought of the last months and of Adam. "I haven't seen his arms lately. He wears his shirt and always comes to bed very late and gets up before me." 

Now Sybil shook her head. "Bridget, since I met Adam, he rolled up his sleeves after two minutes at the first ray of sunshine and even in the house. Now don't you tell me that he has stopped doing that all of a sudden."

It took a while for Bridget to answer as she pondered when she last saw Adam like that. Very slowly her eyes wandered to Tom's wife. "What feather?"

"Our dear men got a red feather tattooed on their arm because they were wounded in the fight against Curt and I'm not talking about a small feather you barely could see. it goes from here to here." She pointed her finger along the arm. "In the palm of his hand Tom has a nice 'S' standing. I'm assuming Adam got a 'B' but I'm not sure. That evening, the three must have left their brains in the cloakroom."

Dumbfounded, Bridget looked at her friend. When she found her voice again, it wasn't very loud. "Tell me immediately, that's a joke. Adam knows exactly what I think about that." 

"Unfortunately, it's no joke. They want to show how successful they were in the fight." 

Bridget took a deep breath. "What else did they do? Because you think their minds were completely switched off? What can be worse than that?"

Sybil sat up straight and tried to stay calm. "When Tom was at least half human again, I was surprised that in the days that followed, he stopped taking the meals with us and seldom came home at night. At first I thought it was his guilty conscience about the feather but then ..." It could be seen how much Tom's wife had to control herself. "We were invited to Tom's parents for Christmas and he was just about getting ready when I took a look at his ..." She faltered. "... In any case, the feather wasn't the only tattoo that was done that night."

Very slowly, Bridget spoke and it was almost a whisper. "What else?" 

"Simon got the opinion that since Tom cannot live without his badge he should always have it with him and now my husband has for eternity a big badge on his ..." 

She didn't say it but pointed with her hand to her extended back. Horrified, Bridget put her hand to her mouth. "And since the men didn't seem to know what they are doing, I give Simon credit that he persuaded Adam to have Koko immortalized along with his feather, because they have one soul, as Adam always says. Simon's a very good teacher but in his spare time he has only stupid ideas." 

With a hand over her mouth, Bridget shook her head very quickly. "No, he wouldn't do that."

"I don't know what they did all this evening but I give them credit for almost everything."

"Hello, ladies."

Adam had come to the carriage and smiled at them. "Then I don't have to have a bad conscience that I needed a little longer at Finn's office. I hope you had a good time?"

Bridget took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Yes, it was nice to talk to Sybil undisturbed for so long. I have learned a lot of new gossip from town."

Adam reached out for Sybil to help her as she descended the buggy. "I'm glad but it couldn't have been that much. The only topic is just Finn and his style at the moment."  
Sybil grabbed Adam by the arm. "I'm sure Bridget will tell you all the news and Adam, ..." She smiled but in a way that made Adam a little suspicious. ".. Tom's got no time tonight. 

"I actually didn't intend to go out tonight."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." She looked at Bridget. "I'm just at Tom's parents at the ranch tomorrow. Should I drop by after?" 

"I think that's a good idea. We can have one of Koko's teas." 

She nodded to Adam and he got a little surprised in the buggy. "Did I miss something?"

Bridget hooked up with him and leaned against his shoulder. "I'll tell you about it. This evening. I'm really glad that you are at home. We haven't had much time for ourselves for a long time." 

Quite skeptical Adam looked at Bridget aside and drove off.


	101. Chapter 101

"Até, the food is ready. Ma told me to come and get you." 

Adam looked up from his desk to Aiyana, who was standing in the door of the office. He knew for sure that the food had been ready for ten minutes. He had heard how Bridget had called for the children but since she was so strange since her return, he didn't feel like being around her. That it was something about what Doc Martin had told her, he didn't believe. Then she would be different. She gave the impression of a cougar creeping around its prey. She was very friendly to him. Too friendly actually. And the reason certainly wasn't that she was really looking forward to undisturbed hours with him tonight. So he pushed the chair back, stepped into the lion's den and kept thinking about what he might have done.

His first thought was 'a hangman's meal' as he sat down at the table. Bridget had prepared one of his favorite dishes, one that was otherwise far down on her diet because she didn't like it so much. With a loving smile, she filled his plate and handed it over.

"Were you involved in your work that you didn't realize that food was ready, mon chéri?" 

Keeping his eyes on Bridget, he took the plate from her. "I was a little lost in my thoughts."  
"Are there any problems at the construction site?"

His head slightly tilted as he looked at her. She continued to smile at him with love. And then it hit him like lightning. The first thing that flashed through his mind was Sybil. The second was Tom. Sybil must have told Bridget about the tattoo. Adam resisted the temptation to grab his arm. But his gaze had apparently been enough to make Bridget know that he knew what it was all about. She lifted her glass and her smile turned into a grin. "A toast to our cozy evening."

Everything worked against him that day. With a deep sigh he sat down next to Bridget on the settee. Bernardo had done his tasks in the barn so quickly like no other evening before. Chesmu helped Bridget with the dishes and Aiyana had brought the little ones to bed with him. Even Claire and George, who usually took an eternity until they fell asleep, had been out very quickly. So it wasn't even nine o'clock and the house was in silence. He certainly could forget about Bridget using this opportunity to go to bed a little earlier. So he sat down next to her and squinted over.

"And?" 

She sat down so that she could look at him from the side. He still couldn't think of anything he might say. It was especially hard for him that she didn't scold him or look angry at him. He couldn't sit next to her any longer this way. He got up and stood in front of the fireplace. Bridget followed him with her eyes and chuckled when she realized that her plan had worked out the way she had imagined. At first, after hearing the story from Sybil, she wanted to yell at him and just ask what had brought him to do a thing like that but that would only have played into his hands. He would then have assured her in his overbearing manner that there were good reasons for it that she just didn't understand. But he didn't know what to say now, because he had never expected such a reaction from her and wasn't prepared for it.

"Are you going to show it or are you planning to wear your shirt day and night in Summer?" 

Silently, he rolled up his left sleeve and then showed his forearm. She still didn't say what she was thinking, which made Adam increasingly insecure. "And is there another one besides this one?" 

"Another one?" 

His left eyebrow rose in amazement. "Yes, another one. As with your friend Tom."

Thoughtfully, he scratched with the finger under his nose and reflected about the evening. But he hadn't been so out of things that he could have had another done. Besides, he wouldn't only have seen it the next day but also noticed. He shook his head. Several times she blinked her eyes. "Can I believe you?" 

"Of course. I don't think I've ever lied to you but alright, if you don't trust me ..."

He began to unbutton his shirt. ".. where does my friend have his other tattoo? On the back?" 

Now Bridget shook her head and watched Adam as he took off his shirt and threw it on the chair. He was about to turn around to show his back to her when his eyes grew big as he noticed her showing where Tom's tattoo was. "No, he didn't …" 

"Yes, he did .."

Now it was Adam who had to grin. Then he looked at Bridget and very slowly he opened the belt of his pants. Laughing, Bridget raised her hand. "Adam, stop it. You don't want to undress completely here in the living room. If one of the children ... " 

"I think you want to see the evidence."

He opened the button and pretended to take off his pants as well but stopped when he saw Bridget's face, which was a mixture of horror and laughter. Since he didn't get the impression that she was really really angry with him, he sat down beside her. "Bridget, I know you always told me I shouldn't think about getting a tattoo. And if I hadn't had a glass too much that night, I would have said no but ... "

When he saw her looking at him, he took her hand. ".. I won't use it as an excuse that I didn't restrain myself as I once intended."  
He turned his forearm so that they both could see the feather. "The first weeks I was angry that I did it but as time went by I shared the opinion of Jenks."

He ran his hand over the drawing and opened his hand so that Bridget could see the "B" as well. "The feather reminds me of a time that wasn't easy for both of us. Not only did Curt kill a lot of people but our love for each other was put to the test and if we weren't so familiar with each other, I don't know how it all might have turned out."

Now he stroked the B. "That I was wounded in the fight against the enemy isn't the only meaning of the feather it's much more for me. It also reminds me of what's most important in my life."

His eyes were full of love when he looked at her. "Namely you and the children. I won't forget even one single stitch that Jenks has set to pierce the feather and not this difficult time either. The last two years have kept reminding me how fast I could lose you and how quickly I, too, can get off track in my anger. The feather is like the chain, from now on my constant companion and it'll support me to never lose sight of the essentials. The B also has an important meaning for me. It holds tight to the feather. It's with it and doesn't let go of it, even if the fight is difficult and takes its toll. Bridget, because of me, it wasn't for the first time you have been in danger and almost paid for your love for me with your life. Because of me, you also had to make many sacrifices. You've lost your entire family but despite everything, you're still with me. You know how much I love you. I could tell you more than once a day but with the B in my hand, I'll show you that you will always be part of me and I will surround you with my love to protect you from everything and everyone."

He carefully closed his left hand. Bridget put her hand on his cheek. Then she leaned over and kissed him. "For anyone else, I would have said they made those words up quickly but with you, I know they come from deep from your heart." 

She took his left hand and now stroked gently with two fingers over the tattoo. "It looks so beautiful and I never thought I would say that. But Adam, don't ask for anything else, let alone the place where Tom has his second."

Adam chuckled and wondered what had happened to his friend the next day. Tom was already all at sea while he was still at Jenks but gradually he had an idea of what his two friends had done during the night. "Did he really get another feather?" 

Bridget closed her eyes and tried not to laugh too much. "No feather. As it seems, Tom was afraid to leave the house without his badge. Now he always has it with him and can't lose it anymore." 

"He didn't really do that?"

"That's what Sybil told me. That's why I was a bit worried that you, too, didn't just come home with a feather. And since you do the wildest things when you're out with Simon, it could have been quite well that in future I'd have to share the bedroom with Koko, or even Yvette." 

His smile became a grin and he kissed her neck tenderly. He softly whispered in her ear. "You can go see if I haven't missed anything." 

Laughing, she tried to push him away as he pushed her slowly down with his body. "Adam, the children." 

"They sleep." 

Before long, she no longer resisted his kisses.

XXXXX

Unbelieving and shaking his head, Adam stood at the desk at the Ponderosa. Several times he took the letter and scanned the lines. But still there was nothing else to read but ten minutes ago. Again and again he tried to find his inner peace and to tell himself that nothing had happened yet. He had to calm down before his father was back, otherwise the conversation would get out of hand quite quickly. But already he heard the door open.

"What a weather outside! We can only hope that it'll get better next week when the work starts at the camp."  
Ben shook out his hat and hung the rain cape on the hook. "And what about you? Did you get everything up to date?"

Still with his back to the door, Adam put his left hand on the chain and thought of his mountain. Only when his breathing became a little calmer, he turned around. "Everything's ready so we can start working on Monday without any problems."  
With the letter in his hand he approached his father. Before he spoke, he scratched his forehead with his thumb and looked down. "Pa, when we talked about you giving me a hand, didn't we agree, that I'll take care of the office?"

Meanwhile, Ben had taken a cloth out of the closet and dried his hands and face. "That's exactly what we did. I only looked after the mail when Bridget went so bad after the birth. Why do you ask? Are there any problems?"

As always, when he wanted to calm down, he put two fingers to the bridge of his nose before answering his father. But still he wasn't able to give him a quiet answer nor to shoot no thoughtless arrows. So he just handed him the letter. First surprised but then pleased with the lines, Ben looked friendly to his son. "It's wonderful that they want to do business with us."

It was clearly audible how deeply Adam inhaled. "It's wonderful? You think it's wonderful that we make money at the expense of human lives?" 

Ben's features immediately changed. "What's that supposed to mean, Adam? Of course I don't like it too much, what happens in our country right now. But if I get such a request, I wouldn't be a good businessman if I didn't accept." 

Adam's voice grew louder. "You know how I feel about the army."

Ben's voice became sharper. "This isn't about the Indians." 

"I don't care. I already told you back then that I would never deliver our timber or our horses to them." 

Angrily, Ben threw the cloth on the table. "Have you looked at what they're willing to pay? You also have to think about the future of our ranch, because we don't know how the war will affect our business." 

Adam pointed to the letter. "I don't need the army."

Both began yelling to point out their position. "Yes, not yet but do you know if we can sell our cattle in Summer? Whether it's possible for us to deliver our timber to all parts of the country?"

"You should help me out there and not here in the office. Even though some things may change as a result of the war, I'll be able to keep the Ponderosa running without the army. You're getting involved in things, even though you have no idea what our books look like." 

"I signed over the ranch to you but you seem to have forgotten that I still have all the power and therefore I can have some say. I don't want to see everything I built up getting destroyed just because you're so stubborn."

"I was wondering how long it would take you to get involved again." 

"Can't you argue more quietly or just elsewhere? Dianne and Mary-Beth are resting."

Immediately, Ben and Adam's heads shot in the direction of Little Joe, who stood on the bottom of the stairs, glaring at them both. Very slowly, Ben went to his youngest son. His voice wasn't very loud but it was clear to hear that he seethed. "My dear son, have you even looked at the clock? Not assuming Dianne or you are sick, I wonder what you two are upstairs doing in the room." 

"I help Dianne."

"With what? Watching Mary-Beth sleep? Why aren't you outside bringing the wagon up to the camp, what's your job?" 

Indignantly, Joe looked at his father. "Dianne needs me here. Mary-Beth slept very restlessly tonight and I haven't brought the wagon to the camp because it's raining." 

"Oh my gosh!" 

Little Joe looked at his brother, who turned away visibly annoyed. For a moment Ben was dumbfounded about Joe's impertinence. Ben's voice was still a whisper but anyone who knew Ben knew it wouldn't be long before his patience wore thin.

"Joseph, are you telling me you aren't on your way to the camp because you don't want to get wet?" 

Now Joe pointed to Adam. "He's also in the house and not outside." 

Even Adam, who wasn't in the focus of Ben, now flinched. It had been a long time since he had heard his father yelling so loud. If Mary-Beth didn't wake up now Dianne and Joe didn't have to worry about their daughter being a light sleeper.

"JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT, ... YOU WILL GET YOUR THINGS RIGHT AWAY AND DO YOUR TASKS AND YOU WILL TELL YOUR WIFE IF YOU THREE WANT TO TAKE ANY OTHER MEAL IN THIS HOUSE THAT SHE SHALL IMMEDIATELY GO TO HER MOTHER-IN-LAW HELPING HER DOING THE HOUSEWORK!"

Little Joe had backed away, almost stumbling over the steps. "I, ... Well .." 

"JOSEPH!"

Joe turned on his heel and ran upstairs. A short time later he came back down the stairs with Dianne by the hand. "Joseph, Dianne can walk by herself." 

"Yes, Sir." 

For a moment, Joe looked at Dianne, who was running down the stairs, her head down. When she stood beside Ben, she was barely audible because she spoke so softly. "I left the door open if Mary-Beth wakes up ..."

With hands akimbo Ben looked at his daughter-in-law as well as he had looked at his son just before. "We will hear her. Just like all the other kids who have slept in this house." 

Dianne nodded quickly and disappeared into the kitchen. Joe had hardly slammed the door behind him when Ben turned to his eldest. "Tell me what to do with him."

Adam sat down on the edge of the small table beside the stairs and crossed his arms. Then he raised his right hand and shrugged. "I admit, I was just hoping he'd understand as soon as he got married but it looks like he just found another excuse why he cannot give us all of his manpower." 

Stunned, Ben looked at the front door. "Because it rains. ... Adam, it cannot go on like this. Now I not only have Joe to drive but now I have a daughter-in-law who thinks working on a ranch is done by itself."

"And how do you imagine that? Should Emillia and I pack our bags and move to you?" 

Adam got up and went to his father so he was standing next to him. "You should pack your bags but you won't go down with me. But maybe you'll think about this year." 

Meanwhile, Adam had his arm around the shoulders of Ben, who immediately shook him off again. "I'm not in the mood for your guessing games." 

"I can tell you for sure, if you will forget this day, you're going to get your bags packed."

"ADAM!" 

"Then think about what you did in the Summer ten years ago." 

Only a few seconds later, Ben looked at him with wide eyes. "Was that ten years ago?" 

Smirking, Adam nodded. "It would be a nice gift for your wedding anniversary. Only you two going on a nice long journey." 

Now Ben crossed his arms and looked skeptically at his son. "Could it be, among other things, that you want me off of the ranch?" 

"A pleasant side effect. No Pa, this way we'll get Joe to take responsibility quite quickly, or I'll stand here every morning shouting the house down. And nobody will notice that it was planned this way." 

Ben wandered through the living room, thinking about the proposal. "Adam, what about Sophie and Sarah? I don't feel good about leaving them both with Joe." 

"Them two know to care for themselves and if not, I'm still there." 

Ben shook his head. "That won't do. You also have to think about Bridget. She has enough to do with your seven children and ... " 

".. so two more don't even matter and if so, we still have the orphanage."

Again, Ben looked at his son with a slightly grim look as he seldom found his jokes for laughing. "I'll think about it and discuss it with Emillia." 

"You may think about it but it should be a surprise for her. I know you, Pa. You're just looking for excuses to why you cannot leave Joe alone but in the end you have to let go."

Ben grunted and continued his walk through the living room. Then his eyes fell on his hand. He still held the letter from the army. It was, however, quite affected by his outburst. Carefully, he unfolded it and handed it back to Adam. "What are we going to do with it?" 

"The Ponderosa won't do business with the army. No way."

Ben took a deep breath. "Pa, you don't have to worry about the future of the ranch. Yes, it's true that we have lost some partners and customers due to the war but we are absorbing the loss because the business here in the West is increasing more and more. Alone the contract you've signed last year in Sacramento gave us five more jobs. Even if we don't get any new orders in the next few months, we have enough in our hands to keep the ranch running for several months. Pa, ... ", he placidly looked at his father now. "... if there will always be someone in the family who shares the love of Ponderosa and this land, the ranch will still exist in a hundred years." 

Now Ben had to laugh. "Dear son, though you can always predict very well how this or that business will turn out to see one hundred years into the future, not even you can do."

"Then we clarified everything. I'll go back to check the mail and you ..." Adam took his father's jacket. "... go out and look after your little baby." 

With a jerk Ben took the jacket from Adam's hands. "I think it would be good if we both can have another nice talk in front of the fireplace soon, son." 

With a grin, Adam went to the desk. On his way he threw the letter from the army into the trash.

XXXX

"Little Joe. Can you help me, please?" 

Riccardo had approached Adam's brother when he was just getting off his horse. But as soon as he noticed Riccardo, Joe rolled his eyes. "What's the matter?" 

"I'm bringing the horses, which may be sold this afternoon, to the paddock. I noticed one stallion had something wrong with the front left shoe."

"It's loose?" 

Riccardo shrugged. "Well, not really but I ..." 

"What now? It's loose or not?" 

Riccardo put his hands in his pocket and tried to hold back his rising anger at Joe. Once again he realized very clearly that Joe didn't take him seriously. "Can't you just look at it?"  
"I'll do it after lunch."  
Joe went to go to the house when Riccardo grabbed him by the arm. "No Joe, you have to do it now. The rancher will come after dinner."

Angrily, Joe pulled his arm away. "I don't have to do anything and you shouldn't always act like the boss." 

Now Giovanna's son couldn't hold back any longer and snapped at Joe as well. "I'm just doing my job and you can just look at the horse. It's not even five yards away from you. So you don't even have to move much."

Roughly Joe pushed Riccardo's shoulder with his hand. "Kid, you're pretty naughty. You have no idea what proper work is about. Just because my brother lets you play here doesn't mean you're a cowboy. Well, I'm going in now. Because I have to take care of my wife and my child while you're still playing with wooden ponies."

Without paying any more attention to Riccardo, Joe went into the house. Angrily, Adam's nephew looked after him. Then he looked back at the horse. "Then I'll do it on my own." 

Confident, he went to the barn to get everything he needed to shod the horse. After lighting the fire, he began removing the old shoe. With an intense look and focused on work, Riccardo tried to loosen the horse shoe. "Can you tell me what you're doing here?"

Without raising his head Riccardo answered. "The horse needs a new shoe." 

"And why are you doing this? Joe was on his way home half an hour ago. Didn't you ask him?" 

"I did. But he didn't even have the time to look to see if it was really necessary and since Uncle Adam is on site and you're all busy preparing for the roundup, I had to do it. The horses will be sold today after all."

Tico put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Then let me see." 

Riccardo straightened up a bit so that the foreman could take a look at the shoe. "I brought the horses to the other paddock, as Uncle Adam had told me. And then I checked them all again, because I know that the man buys from us for the first time. If he'll be satisfied, he could become a good customer. I had the feeling that the shoe doesn't sit properly and could break."

The whole time Tico had looked at the horse shoe and now let go of the horse's hoof. "And why do you want to change it now? Don't you think it would last until tomorrow?" 

Immediately Riccardo shook his head. "I've seen Uncle Adam and you always check on the horses you want to take to work on the ranch. If that's what the rancher does this afternoon, the horse should be in great shape. What if he's in full gallop or wants to see how it acts, if it's to separate cattle from the herd and then the shoe breaks? Not only the rider can get hurt, on the ground we currently have the horse can also fall. And this is the best of all that we want to sell."

"Have you ever made a horse shoe?" 

"No." 

"And then you just assume you can do that?" 

"What should I do? I know how important the appointment this afternoon is and that's why I wanted to start. I can't just go home and hope that everything will go well." 

Tico rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. "Then go on, cowboy. Because we all want to eat on time."

Again Riccardo grabbed the hoof and tried again to loosen the shoe. Meanwhile, Tico set about forging a new one. The sweat ran down the boy's forehead as he removed one nail after the other. When he finally had the shoe off, not only his arms but his legs as well were trembling. "There's another canteen on my horse. Take a sip and then come back to me." 

Completely done, Riccardo took a long sip and then walked to the foreman with shaky legs. The foreman thrusted the hammer into his hand. "Then let's see how strong you can hit."

Without complaining, the boy took the hammer in his right hand and with his left he took the horse shoe out of the fire. Already after the second strike he had no strength left to do another. As he reached out, he felt Tico grab his right wrist. He put his other hand on Riccardo's left hand so that they could hold the shoe together. Then they hit the horse shoe together. "You work too much with the entire arm. That costs too much power."

Several times they hit the iron together until Tico put it on for testing purpose. "I'll do the rest, you can prepare the hoof." 

With the file in his hand, Riccardo prepared the hoof. His shirt was soaking wet when Tico came to see if he could put the shoe on. "There you have to work a little bit more." 

The tongue halfway between the lips, Riccardo did what he was told. He then watched as Tico attached the shoe to the hoof. "Today we well deserve our meal, son."

Tico patted the horse as he passed it and dropped the things on the anvil. "But before you go home, I'd like to know what you're doing here already? School can't be out again that early." 

Embarrassed, Riccardo looked down. "I skipped after break." 

"Why?" 

Shrugging, the boy looked up. "What am I supposed to do in school? Only here I learn what I need to know as a cowboy. I finally want to go to the camp and break horses."

Now he looked right at the foreman. "Tico, I'll be eleven this year. Back then uncle Adam worked a lot more here." 

"He didn't skip school. Besides, you are already doing a lot. Riccardo, you have to be patient, even if you already know exactly what you need to do to break a horse, you still need something important."

The boy looked questioningly at him. The foreman tapped his finger against Riccardo's chest. "You already have everything a good cowboy needs. With your heart and with all your zeal you are on your way. You have in your blood what makes a real cowboy. You already have an amazing strength in your arms and also in your legs but that's not enough to bring a wild horse to a halt." 

"Not?"

"All the strength's no use to you because your legs just aren't long enough. You can't put the pressure in the right places. Maybe you'll stay on the horse longer than your first try but you won't be able to work properly with the horse. So be patient until you become a young man. Furthermore, I assume that your uncle will bring you to the camp for a few days this year as well. I think I've heard that if you can catch a calf on your own and bring it to the ground, you'll be allowed to burn it yourself but ..." He raised his finger. "... you didn't learn that from me ..." Riccardo's entire face spread a joyous radiance. ".. but you can forget all about that if you keep skipping school. Simon and Adam are good friends, so your uncle will know very soon what you are doing."

Embarrassed, Riccardo looked down. "But everything I learn at school, I can not use here on the ranch." 

"I told you, you have the heart and strength a cowboy needs but to become a good foreman, you need something more. Especially ..." Now he tapped the boy's forehead. "... brains." 

Tico smiled as Riccardo looked at him in surprise. "A ranch is only as good as the foreman." 

"I thought the boss is the most important."

"Of course, the boss also has an important part in this. Riccardo, you have to imagine a ranch is like an apple. The owner can polish and care for the apple. It will look wonderful from the outside, although at the same time a maggot makes it inedible from the inside and when you notice it, it's already too late. It's the same with the ranch. The boss may still be as good but if there's only a maggot among the cowboys, it can have a bad influence on all the work.

So it's important to have someone who will take care that no maggot sneaks into the apple, as the boss can't possibly be everywhere. And that's the job of a foreman. He makes sure that the work is done as the boss expects. The cowboys should trust their foreman but also have respect for him. A good foreman should always think three steps ahead, like the boss. And believe me, that's not always easy and certainly not with your uncle."

Now he put his arm around Riccardo's shoulders and pointed to the horse. "Son, since you live here on the Ponderosa your only desire is to become a cowboy and if that doesn't change, I assume that you will take over my job later. Because you know more than an ordinary cowboy. You already know what it takes to run a ranch. You didn't just do the job and put the horses in the paddock. No, even though you're only ten, you have realized that the appointment your uncle has this afternoon is very important. So you didn't only look at the horses from the point of view of the seller but also from the point of view of the buyer. You have realized how important the first impression is. Just as you realized back then that the black stallion is better suited for breeding than for the work on the ranch. And not only do I see your talent and love for work. Even your uncle sees it and you'll go your way here, if you show patience and especially go to school. You tell me you don't learn anything in school you're going to need here. That's not right, Riccardo. If your uncle later sends you to buy cattle and tells you, you can pay up to twenty percent above market value, you need to know what he means. When he says to you, you should shed a third of the cattle, you must understand him. That's the way he will talk to you and if you're going to do my job he will put very high demands on you. Your uncle isn't easy. He doesn't talk much about what he expects. He assumes that I know it as his foreman. You are fortunate as I have been to know him for a very long time if you take over the job later. Therefore, you won't find it difficult to understand him. Knowledge and experience will help you later to deal with the boss, the cowboys and the business partners of a ranch. You have to be able to speak the languages of all three. They are similar but not the same. You cannot talk to a cowboy like you talk to a business man and you shouldn't talk to your boss like you talk to one of your guys. It's up to you what you want. Is it enough for you to be an ordinary cowboy, or do you want to be a good foreman? Of course, you can leave school in two years but then somebody else will take over my job later." 

Now Riccardo shoulders dropped and exhaled done. "I have to go to school for another six years?"

Tico had to laugh when he noticed Riccardo's face. "Cheer up, son. Even your uncle was already on his first trail when he went to school. So if the girls are getting more interesting to you than the cattle, you too will come with us. I'm firmly convinced of that." 

Sighing, Riccardo nodded. "Then take the horse back to the others and son, .." Now the foreman stared at him sternly. "..If I only learn one more time that you skip school, you won't set foot in the camp this year. Understood?" 

Riccardo took the reins of the horse. "Yes, Sir." 

"Fine, then we'll meet again after dinner." 

"Yes, Sir." 

With mixed feelings Riccardo took the horse back to the paddock.

XXXXXX

"Left or right hand?" 

"Adam ….!" 

The heads of Craig and Amy shot up. Both children sat in the buggy and were happy to see him. Amy immediately jumped down from the buggy into his arms. Adam had to be quick so he could grab hold of the little girl. "Candy cane." 

Expectantly, Craig looked at Adam's hands. In each of these Adam had a little candy cane. Smiling, he gave one to Amy and one to Craig. "I thought that waiting would be a little more pleasant for you. Who's here with you? Rose or Giovanna?"

"Giovanna. She's still at the post office. " 

Adam looked down the street and saw Giovanna coming in their direction carrying a box. He immediately rushed towards her to help her carry. "Did you make a bulk purchase?" 

Giovanna laughed. "No, these are all donations made to us at the church." 

Slowly they went to the buggy and Adam put the box down onto the seat. "And you were worried that you wouldn't make ends meet." 

Shaking her head, she looked at Amy and Craig. "From whom did you get that?"

With relish, Amy licked the candy cane and pointed at Adam, who grinned cheekily at Giovanna. "Adam, you shouldn't always spoil the children like that." 

His answer was that his grin grew even bigger. "You are impossible. You've already done so much for us but I can't invite you as often to dinner as I'd like to thank you for everything." 

"You don't have to. I'm just glad we found a solution for Rose and you."

It could be clearly seen how well Giovanna was feeling and how relieved she was. "When Frederic disappeared, I really didn't know how to go on and now I'm feeling better than I've been in a while." 

She had barely finished the sentence when she realized what she had just said. "Adam, please don't get me wrong. Of course I miss Fabio and I want nothing more than to hold him in my arms again but .. "

She didn't speak further. Adam sensed what she might mean. He hugged her to talk to her so that only she could hear. "It's fine, Giovanna. I won't judge you for these thoughts. I can even understand them a bit. " 

"I loved Frederic, Adam. But for two years it wasn't quite easy with him. I felt like we live in two different worlds. He was getting more and more dissatisfied and for me Nevada became more and more my home. I feel now ..." Her voice became even quieter. "... as free as not in a long time."

Adam let go of his sister-in-law and nodded encouragingly. "You'll see, everything has a reason why it had to happen like that and as I heard from Pietro Fabio should be fine." 

While it was obvious how sad Giovanna was when she thought of her son, she also smiled a little. "I also received a letter from Pietro. I'm so relieved that Frederic doesn't seem to have heard that his nanny is the wife of a cousin of ours. So I can be sure that Fabio's in good hands. And Pietro also wrote that she talks to Fabio about me and Riccardo, so he won't forget us."

Although she smiled at her words, she had to swallow. The memory of Fabio still caused too much pain. "But you're right. Everything is and will be fine. Rose and I are so happy in the house and the kids are happy, too. Not only are we getting donations from our new pastor and the church but we also receive two large amounts each month. Mr. Forster from the bank can't tell us by whom the money is transferred, because it's always paid in cash at the bank in Reno but Rose and I are happy about this donation." 

"Well, then you can house more children without any problems."

"If they come, we will house them but actually I'm very happy that we are alone for now. Riccardo's already struggling with the changes. Adam ...," she put her hand on his arm. ".. can't you talk to him? He only comes home for supper, because he's with you half of the day and I've also heard he's skipping school more often or just leaves early." 

"Riccardo will recover himself and be more at home again and that's already settled with the school. Tico has already taken him to task."

Adam's expression became serious. "Giovanna, I will always be there for you and Riccardo and help you wherever I can but I'm very glad that Tico has taken over talking to your son. I won't and I can't take on the role of a father for him. Remember all the rumors about Riccardo and me. If I go to school now because of him or interfere in his education, some could feel confirmed again. You know, I don't care anything about the people's talk but here I think of Rose and the orphanage as well and it looks like Riccardo listens to what Tico tells him. Jenks told me that Riccardo hasn't skipped school since the talk."

"Of course I think it's good that so many take care of Riccardo. I was thinking only of Ben, who's been talking to him every now and then. That Tico does it as well would never have occurred to me." 

"Well, I think that's very good, because Tico will be more and more in charge of our cowboy in the near future. Riccardo's supposed to be on my payroll in a few years." 

Laughing Giovanna got into the buggy. "As it stands, not only is my son impatient to finally become a real cowboy but his uncle can't wait him to finish school either."

Grinning, Adam tipped his hat and watched the buggy leaving as Giovanna drove off.  
"Aren't you supposed to be in the camp looking for cattle and not looking after pretty women who are still married?" 

Adam tilted his head slightly. "And don't you have to take care that the children go to school and don't skip?" 

The friends laughed at each other and Adam hit Tom against the arm. "My horse is near your office." 

"And, everything's fine in the camp?" 

"Can't complain."

"Even with your father and Joe? I have expected to be called, because you're probably slightly annoyed." 

"I'm looking for a quiet corner every now and then. Like now." 

Tom laughed loudly. They hadn't reached the office yet when Sue came running. "Tom ... Tom, please come quickly, we're in trouble." 

A quick glance was enough and Tom knew that Adam would come along. "Sue, Steve should be in the office. Let him know too."

The Sheriff went off without waiting for an answer. If Yvette sent someone to fetch him, it had to be a stormy affair. Tom plunged into the bar and got a punch in the face right away. He staggered back with a lot of momentum and bumped into Adam, who in turn bounced with his head against the door edge. Tom shook himself briefly and grabbed the guy who had given him the fist punch. With the help of Adam they pushed the man onto a table. Slowly, the guy calmed down and no longer resisted. At that moment Steve joined in and together with his boss they put the man back on his feet. With quite an angry look, Yvette stood in front of the Sheriff.

"What happened, Yvette?" 

"Not here, Tom. Come with me. " 

Yvette went ahead and Steve and Tom followed her with the delinquent in tow. Adam touched his forehead and grimaced slightly. Then he placed a chair back right which had been lying on the floor. He looked to the stage, where the program went on again. Grinning, he looked in the direction the Sheriff had disappeared. If he was already here, he could drink a beer until Tom was ready. Not two minutes later, he leaned against a pillar with a beer in his hand watching the girls on the stage. His eyebrows raised when suddenly two hands lay on his chest and someone pressed herself against his back. The hands moved further down and he knew to whom they belonged. "Yvette, ... take your hands off." 

She came around him, smiling. She ran her finger on his arm along on to his chest. There she painted small circles with her finger. "So I see you're here again."

"I'm just waiting for Tom." 

"He's taking the guy out the back door." 

Yvette stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Carefully, Adam tried to push her away but she put her hand to the back of his head and held him close. Smiling, she whispered softly to him. "Play along with me, Adam. I need to talk to you. It's important."

Even though Yvette was doing a job the pastor wouldn't approve of, Adam knew she wouldn't lie to him for something she wouldn't get otherwise. So he got involved into this not so unpleasant game. The grin she now had on her face showed clearly that she realized that Adam had some fun in him as well. She took his hand and walked with him to her office. There she let go of him, poured him a whiskey and handed him the glass. "We would make a great team."

Adam's eyes laughed as he took a sip. "I wouldn't stay alive for long if Bridget learned of our partnership." 

"I've seen her in town with your baby lately. I'm glad for you, that she's well again." 

"Thanks. These weren't easy months." 

Yvette set her glass down on the table. "Adam, I have to thank you. Not only did you treat me with the utmost respect from day one since we first met but also that I had the opportunity to open this bar with your help."

"You have achieved this all by yourself. With my help maybe just a year or two earlier. But that's not why we're here, are we?"  
Astonished, Adam looked at Yvette as her features changed and she looked rather seriously at her hands. "Yes, I'm very proud that I could open a bar here that stands out from an ordinary saloon. Luckily, a guy like that only rarely gets lost here. Our customers place great value on the quietness and discretion they have here and privacy is one of the most important rules in this house." Again she hesitated a bit before continuing. "We have regular customers who aren't just from Virginia City. This includes some senators. And your father-in-law."

Now Adam's posture changed as well. Since Clement had given him the keys to the house back then, he hadn't heard from him. Only from the newspaper he knew that he was appointed Senator, after Nevada had separated from Utah. "I assume that's not all you want to tell me."

"Before the senators retire with the ladies, they sit together and have a good drink. They talk a lot about how they want to shape the state. Especially since they have a lot of support because of our large silver deposits from Washington. Adam, I didn't understand everything but what I understood is that they want to put the few tribes that still exist around here in a reservation. The Gosiute should also be among them. They want to get your land even if they can only acquire it through a new law."

Adam took a deep breath and his jaw jerked briefly. Apparently, Clement had changed his mind about what the Indians wanted and that he wanted to fight for their concerns. Then he realized what a risk Yvette took in telling him about it. "Yvette, thank you as well for trusting me, but please be careful. Not only can't I judge Clement properly anymore, the other gentlemen will surely cause to vanish unpleasant people who get in their way and are too nosy."

"Don't worry about me. I have been dealing with such characters for many years. You have to be careful. Your father-in-law is on the outs with you." 

Adam just nodded and put his hand on the doorknob. "You're a great woman, Yvette and I'd like you to be more respected here in town."

She gratefully smiled at him as they both left the office. He kissed her again outside the door when he was grabbed by Tom's arm, who pulled him away from her with a grin. "Goodbye, Yvette. I'll take away your favorite client right now and Yvette, ... finally get yourself a new bouncer. " 

"I'll do that. You should always listen to a Sheriff. See you next time, Adam." 

Tom couldn't make out the grin as they both stood outside the door and he saw Adam close his shirt down to the last two buttons. "Now I know why you were ready to go with me immediately, Buddy." 

"It's not the way it looks."

"No, of course not. I'd like to be there when you explain to Bridget your black eye." 

Now Adam grinned. "I don't need to because I'm not going home until next week and surely nobody will ask me about it at the camp." 

They both laughed and the Sheriff slapped him in the chest. "And now I want to know right away what you did with Yvette in the back room." 

"Let's go to your office. There, I'll tell you everything."

"Everything?" 

"Everything." 

Grinning, Tom rubbed his hands. "I'm looking forward to that already." 

Laughing, they went to Tom's office. They didn't notice that the pastor's wife was across the street, watching with horror, which building Adam and Tom had just left.

XXXXX

Still, Yvette had to chuckle when she remembered Tom's face in her mind's eye and what he had surely thought when she came with Adam out of the room. She stood at the bar and looked around. There were already quite a few customers for this time of the day. Even if not everyone went upstairs, they would leave enough money for the drinks.  
"What should that be? I think you only care about the books?" 

A man stepped out of the shadows and joined Yvette at the bar. "And I thought we clarified that you shouldn't ask about my clients. I don't want any scenes caused by jealousy." 

"I didn't ask. I saw it and you assured me that you would never go to the back room with another man." 

"You're really pretty jealous." 

At first the man just looked at her. Then he took another step closer. "I can live with what you did before we met but now I won't just watch it and certainly not if you disappear with HIM."

Soothingly she laid her hand on his. "You should learn to trust me. Otherwise you can quickly forget all about us. And one thing you can believe, if I ever again have the pleasure that Adam forgets for a moment that he's happily married now, I'd stay longer in the room with him. I wouldn't let him go that fast." 

Skeptically, the man looked at Yvette. Little by little he understood her words. "Are you telling me you already know Adam as well as I was allowed to get to know you?"

"I've known Adam for a long time, even before he was married. I won't say more about that." 

Yvette winced as the man picked up the glass on the counter and threw it on the floor at full tilt. Then he hit the counter with his flat hand. "Is there really anything the guy didn't have his fingers on?" 

Again, Yvette went to reach for the man's hand. He, however, withdrew instantly. "Leave me alone." 

She watched him amused as he left the bar through the back door. It pleased her that he was so jealous. This showed her that he really had feelings for her and wasn't just playing with her.

XXXX

The pastor shook his head when he saw that Adam and his family arrived for the Easter picnic. Of course, he hadn't attended the service before. Only his wife had been there with her parents-in-law. Even more Billinghurst had to pull himself together, when behind the buggy Adam's brother appeared with his wife, this Indian. Fine! He was also here to show the right way to those who were otherwise deaf to his words. Even Indians could be converted. "Did you see? Mr. Cartwright drove up with his kids. You're going to talk to him and the Sheriff, too?"

"I will. Both are important people in Virginia City. They should know how to behave and I'm going to talk to Ben Cartwright. We have to think about another teacher. It isn't possible to teach children for someone who doesn't believe in the Holy Bible." 

"With God's help, we'll get things done here." 

With his back straightened up, the pastor made his way to Adam.


	102. Chapter 102

With vigorous stride and straightened back, the pastor went to the buggy of Adam and Hoss. As always, his wife had recognized the essence of the problem. That's why he wanted to marry Eleonora after her husband died. She had always been in church first before the other parishioners to help him prepare for Mass and as far as he could remember, she hadn't missed a single Sunday. Eleonora's husband was a victim of the horrible flu that had descended upon the small town, as well as upon half of the other inhabitants. After the worst was over, gradually more and more left the place, so that in the end only a handful of inhabitants were left. Among them was Eleonora with her son Jeremiah. Not knowing what to do next and foreseeing that even the sorry remnant would leave town, he asked Eleonora if she would accompany him to Virginia City as his wife. Of course she was a bit unsure at first. She was worried about the talk that would inevitably come about as she was more than ten years older than him. Marcus had reassured her that people would first and foremost see that she was a good Christian, supporting him in his difficult task here in the West. It was good for him that he had a wife at his side whom he didn't have to bring up, which he would have to do if he had been looking for a woman of his age. Such a young girl wouldn't have even realized the implications of what it meant when the Sheriff of a town and one of the main ranchers stumbled out from an establishment of this kind in the early morning. And as Eleonora had said, both had been overly tipsy and had to get their clothes back in order.

The fact that both behaved like that was due to the great influence of the Indians. Just as he almost never saw Adam Cartwright at a church service, the Sheriff was rarely present. Marcus had no idea what his predecessor had done, but apparently, he had watched for years as the town deteriorated more and more. The mere fact that a man like Jenkins had been able to take on the job of a teacher was an impertinence for him as a pastor. The school was, like church, the pride of a city. He would later suggest to Ben Cartwright that they would look for a place outside the town where the Indians could be taught. They had no place in the normal school because they only distracted the other children with their wild behavior. Gladly Jenkins could try there to teach them to read and write. Here in town they needed a teacher who would align his teachings according to the Bible.

Marcus Billinghurst took a deep breath as he stood with Adam and his family. "Good day, Mr. Cartwright. I'm glad that you too came to our picnic today. But I would have also been pleased to see you at the service today."

Every year, Adam was looking forward to the Easter picnic. It was one of the few ways to meet again with all the friends and acquaintances from town and the surrounding farms and ranches but this year he would have been glad to be able to do without it. He had told Bridget a few days ago that it wouldn't be long before Billinghurst might had one of his 'special' conversations. Each time he saw Adam, he tried to tell him how important it was for him and his children to go to church on Sundays. Adam however, had hoped that he could get out in peace before the pastor would talk to him again. "Hello, Mr. Billinghurst. Due to this nice weather, there was no question that we, as in recent years, would come by." 

Adam took the sleeping Cholette from Aiyana and gave her a friendly look. „Wakȟáŋyeža kiŋ lená awáŋwičhablakiŋ kte. Lá yačhíŋ he?"

She pointed to a group of trees where the rest of the small tribe was already standing and waving to her. "Háu mníŋ kte." 

Adam nodded to her and didn't even have to look at the pastor to know what he thought about the fact that Adam was talking to his children like this. But if Adam had hoped that the pastor would leave offended, he was disappointed. He waited persistently until Adam had allowed Chesmu to go to his friends. Hoss and Adam exchanged glances to see if Adam's brother and his family would stay with him or go to Ben and Emillia. "Claire, George, please go with your uncle. I'll be right there." 

Right away Travis took Claire by the hand and went on with her. George took Koko's hand and followed his sister. "Mr. Billinghurst, you don't want to talk to me again about why I'm not joining your church service?" 

Before the pastor could say anything, Adam raised his left hand. "We can shorten the whole matter. It's nothing personal, as I have told you several times. I haven't been to church for a few years now and if you were to study the faith of the Gosiute, you would see that there are many parallels. If you'll excuse me now, I'd like to join my family."

"Mr. Cartwright ..." 

The pitch of Billinghurst's voice caused Adam not to move on. They had already talked about his faith a few times but Billinghurst had never spoken to him as vigorously as he had just done now. "Today I have another concern and you cannot talk yourself out of this because of your beliefs. On the contrary, if you were more concerned with what family means, you wouldn't need to go to such a place."

Confused, Adam looked at the pastor standing in front of him. He could hardly suppress a groan before he answered the young man. "Mr. Billinghurst, I'm a very patient person and have never shied away from you when you were in the mood and looking for a talk with me but today I ask you to just leave me alone and please grace someone else with your presence."

The pastor put his fingertips together and looked at Adam with pity. "Of course I can understand that you feel very uncomfortable at the moment, Mr. Cartwright, but you and the Sheriff should have thought about that in advance." 

"What? What are we talking about?" 

Several times the pastor looked to the right and the left. "My wife saw you come out of the house at the end of town. Obviously tipsy and not properly dressed."

First, Adam opened his mouth to say something. Then he laughed softly for a moment and left Billinghurst to go to Bridget. He didn't even stop when the pastor called his name. Slightly at a loss as to what he should do, Marcus gazed after Adam. "And, what did he say? Does he realize he's going the wrong way?" 

Eleonora had come next to her husband. "He didn't say anything. He just left. How can someone, for whom morality and decency obviously mean nothing, have such a good reputation?"

"I wonder more about how his wife can live with that. Surely she knows what her husband is up to." 

"Can we be so sure?" 

With wide eyes, Eleonora put her hand on her husband's arm. "Of course, you're right. The poor woman doesn't even know what her husband is up to all day long." 

She glanced around to see where Bridget was. "As soon as I can talk to her alone, I will tell her everything and offer her my help. As I've heard, she lost her mother last year and her brother left town because his son is the result of carnal desires between his wife and his brother-in-law. And since her father could no longer bear what his daughter had to endure, he also left town. Now she has no one left to help her. You just have to look at her to see how bad she must feel. A healthy, happy woman doesn't look the worse for wear."

The pastor nodded in agreement. "Yes, we can be lucky that at least Giovanna has found the right way back and stands up for the poor souls who were left too early by their parents. But now let's go to the others. For I have seen that this Indian wife of our teacher has brought something to eat. We should make sure that it's edible." 

Billinghurst and his wife went to the tables with the food and drinks.

XXX

"Come on, come on." 

Aiyana looked at the other five, nodding toward the small lake. There sat Jeremiah looking at the water. Completely dumbfounded, Tyler looked at Aiyana. "What do we want to do about him?" 

"Talk to him and ask if he wants to play with us." 

"WHAT?"

Now it was Aiyana who raised her eyebrows in astonishment, as all five looked at her in disbelieve and announced their displeasure. "Do I have to remind my tribe what we are up to? We wanted to give everyone a chance who is new in our school."

Riccardo crossed his arms and looked skeptically at Jeremiah. "But not the son of the pastor. Take a look at him. His mother probably gets up an hour earlier each morning to fix his hair like that. And what should we play with him? He'll run immediately to his dad telling tales about everything."

Adam's daughter couldn't believe it. Everyone agreed with Riccardo. Even Bernardo did. "Tyler, Sally, may I just remind you both that we also gave you a chance? He doesn't have to become a member of our tribe but we should be nice to him because to date he hasn't found a single friend in school."

"And why is that?" Sally shook her head at her words. "He's always eager to please my father. 'Mr. Jenkins, should I hand out the sheets?' ... 'Mr. Jenkins, shall I wipe the board?' ... 'Mr. Jenkins, shall I ...?'" 

Angrily, Aiyana glared at her friend. "Stop that, Sally. It's never easy to be new in town and have such parents." 

She tilted her head slightly and looked at Sarah. "What do you say?"

Ben's daughter took a deep breath. "We can talk to him but if he's still so stupid, then he just might have bad luck." 

Aiyana didn't wait to see if the others followed her. With fast steps she went to the lake. "Hello, Jerry." 

Frightened, Billinghurst's son lifted his head and looked anxiously at Aiyana.  
"He..ll..o."

The boy was sitting in the middle, as the small tribe had formed a circle around him. Still, only Adam's daughter talked to Jeremiah. "How are you today?" 

Frantically, the boy's eyes wandered from one to the other. "Fine." 

"Would you like to get some of the cake and then eat it here together with us?"

Jeremiah's shoulders jerked up. He still didn't understand why Aiyana had approached him with her friends. After all, when his father had overtaken the lessons back then, they had shown that they didn't like him. Furthermore, they had hardly ever talked to him. So he wondered what they wanted from him today. His stepfather had warned him several times about Aiyana and her friends. Especially Aiyana who would be a savage who didn't know how to behave among other decent people. He was even more astonished when Aiyana reached out for his hand to help him up. Hesitantly and without taking his eyes off of her, he allowed himself to be pulled up.

Not ten minutes later, they were all sitting on the lawn, eating the previously purchased cake. "Tell us Jerry, why do you have to go to school every day as if you're going to church? Don't you have normal clothes?" 

Intimidated Jeremiah looked at Tyler. He especially had respect before him and Riccardo. He had seen more than once how they had fought with the other boys. "My mother puts the clothes out for me."

"Is that why you only stand in the corner during the break and don't play with us because you aren't allowed to spoil your fine clothes?" 

"What do you want from me, Riccardo? Do you just want to make fun of me?" 

Sarah smiled at Jeremiah. "No, we want to spend our time with you to get to know you better. You haven't found any real friends yet." 

Laughing but sad, he looked down. "Who wants to be friends with me?"

"When you talk to the others, you'll also find amigos." 

"Bernardo, noone wants to be friends with a child whose father is a pastor and certainly not one like my stepfather." 

The six children looked at each other. They always thought Jeremiah was the son of the pastor but as it looked Jeremiah didn't like his mother's husband. Sally was the first to regain her voice. "But you don't make it easy for us all when we want to get to know you."

"I don't need no friends. Once I'm fourteen, I'll be off anyway." 

Tyler laughed out loud. "It'll take a while. You just turned eight. It's a hell of a long time without a friend." 

"I doubt that you just want to be my friends. You are much older than me." 

"You don't have to spend your time with us but look, there near the water play my brother, Craig and Travis. Chesmu's your age and Craig comes to school after the holidays."

As Jeremiah looked to Chesmu and the others, he shrugged again. "My stepfather has forbidden me to play with Indians and certainly not with the children who have anything to do with your father." 

Getting up, Aiyana pulled up Jeremiah. "That's nonsense. We are no different than any other child." 

They went to Chesmu and the others near the water. "I brought you someone who would like to play with you." 

Chesmu opened his mouth and looked questioningly at his sister and then at Jeremiah. "Jerry, do you have your marbles with you?" 

"I have no marbles." 

"What?"

Craig picked up some marbles and handed them to Jeremiah. "You can play with mine for now then. We want to let them roll down from the sand hill and are about to build a small bridge with some sticks. Who evers marbles falls into the water has lost." 

Jeremiah looked skeptically at the sand-hill and the small moat that the other boys had built around it. Then he gave the marbles back to Craig. "I cannot play. I'm not allowed to lie on the ground and certainly not put my hands in mud."

Right away, Travis raised his hands, all being black from the mud. He proudly showed the other an earthworm. "I found one again. Why can't you do that? It's fun and only with really wet sand we can build a big marble track." 

Sadly, Jeremiah looked at the small track. "When my real father was still alive, he often used to go fishing with me and I was always allowed to search for the worms but now I can't even laugh or talk while eating."

Sarah looked at the pastor who was standing by her father. "Since when is he your dad and what happened to your real dad?" 

"My mother married the pastor last summer after many of the town died. Like my dad. I think my mother has always liked the pastor better than my dad. She used to scold him if he came home late, or if he was out for a drink with his friends in the saloon."

Now Jeremiah smiled as he thought of his father. "When fishing, he always told me that he will show me later how beautiful and funny life can be and that God would never have created a saloon, if you shouldn't have fun there."  
Once again the boy let his shoulders sink. "But now he can't show it to me anymore."

Riccardo exhaled loudly. "Well, I have to go to church with my mother on Sundays as well but I can still have fun and come home all covered with dirt." He pushed Jeremiah by the shoulder. "You'll play with Chesmu and the others now. What's your mother supposed to do besides bathing you afterwards?" 

Crouching on the ground, the boy looked at Riccardo. "I have to copy and recite bible verses as punishment."

"So what? Then you do that. My uncle always says, 'To win, you sometimes have to endure some pain'." 

Several times Jeremiah looked at the marbles in his hand. Then he lay on his belly and helped Chesmu and the others finish the track.  
Aiyana proudly looked at her tribe. "Once again we were able to bring a fight to a successful end. Now let's look for Paul and his friends. I think they also have to realize that they shouldn't mess up with the tribe." 

Immediately Bernardo held his sister by the arm. "Not good idea. Paul already fourteen and very tall."

Without paying any further attention to her brother, Adam's daughter went off. "Yes he is but he stole and tore up Tyler's homework last week, causing him to get punished and then he also ambushed Riccardo to beat him up. We have to restore the honor of the tribe." 

With his head bowed, Bernardo followed the others. With each passing day he knew he didn't want to spend the Summer with the others. In the next few days he would talk to his father about the Summer holidays but for now he was still a member of the tribe, so he had to follow the five.

XXX

With a big grin, Simon went to Tom and Adam, who were a bit off from the others. "What spoiled your good mood?"

Tom just nodded to the pastor, who was talking to Tyler's father. Jenkins' grin grew even bigger. "You don't take this baby-face seriously? Did he scold you for not being at church today?" 

"Just wait, Jenks, you'll get your come-uppance, too."

Laughing, he looked at Adam. "You mean, his idea to have me replaced by another teacher?"  
Astonished, his two friends looked at him. "Your father just told me that the pastor mentioned that to him. But right now I don't have to worry about that. Mr. Billinghurst's still not very popular and your father has nicely explained that he hasn't heard any complaints because of his grandchildren."

"No, not yet. But he already knows what people he needs to talk to in order to get them on his side." 

Tom pointed his head towards Marc, who still talked very excited with the pastor. But even that didn't impress Jenkins, who kept on smiling to himself. 

"Tell me Jenks, how can you see it so calmly? Did you smoke this morning? There was a time when you would have already gone off on him with drawn gun."

"The last time I smoked is two months ago and I see this whole matter so calmly, because I have experienced quite different situations. Billinghurst isn't a man who can pull a whole town on his side. Yes, he can make some mood here and there, but not so bad that I have to pack my things because of it. But now tell me why you seem to have received your private Sunday sermon." 

The Sheriff and Adam exchanged glances. Then Tom took a deep breath. "Our pastor's nice wife said she needed to talk to Sybil and Bridget about our immoral behavior."

"Uhhh! What did you do? Drink a beer in the saloon?" 

Again, Adam and Tom looked at each other. "She saw us a few weeks ago when we left the Sweet Bravour together." 

Chuckling Jenkins looked at Tom and Adam. "Well, I have enough sleeping space at home, if you need it." 

A little annoyed, Adam leaned against the tree.

"We don't need accommodation. There was a fight and Adam has only helped me. I told Sybil that the very same evening. I always do that when I come home with a shiner and Sybil knows I have to go to Yvette every now and then."

Now Jenkins cocked his head and grinned at Adam. "And you? What about you? I heard you and Yvette share a very special relationship and Bridget doesn't watch it as relaxed as Sybil does." 

"But Jenks, she does, since I wasn't there with you." Smiling, Jenkins raised his eyebrows. "Of course, she approached me immediately after talking to the pastor's wife, because she had already thought that the story had taken a different turn and because Tom had been there. She said that if you had been there, she wouldn't be so sure because it could have been one of your wild ideas again."

Confused, Simon put his hand on his chest. "She once had such a good opinion of me." 

"The emphasis is on 'had'. After the thing with the "special Sheriff badge", she sees you a bit differently." 

Adam peered at Tom, who immediately turned his eyes to the sky but then they both looked back at Simon, who laughed again loudly. "Tom, you can show the pastor how important your job is to you and that you can and will ensure law and order at all times. No matter where you are. The badge is always at your side. Or your back?" 

"Can we change the subject, Simon?" 

"When do I get to see Jenks' artwork?"

"Never, Buddy." 

Now Tom and Adam had to smile, too. "You two aren't really worrying about Billinghurst? I mean, we've successfully fought Curt and Mara, so we'll cope with such a guy." 

Adam scratched his ear. "Jenks, I'm actually talking about the gossip the two are spreading. It's not just that they tried to explain to Bridget what an immoral husband I am, Mrs. Billinghurst also wanted to start again with the talk about Riccardo and who is his real father. I had hoped that in this respect, there will be peace at last. I'm just lucky that with Bridget I have a wife who trusts me."

Thoughtfully, Jenkins looked in the direction of Billinghurst. "Maybe we should make sure Mrs. Billinghurst worries about her husband's morality." 

For a moment, Adam didn't know whether to look at his friend in shock or amusement. "Jenks, there are days, when it's not easy for me to imagine that my children can learn something sensible from you at school." 

"They should learn something sensible? My goodness, you would have had to explain that to a savage like me."

Now Tom looked Simon in the face. "You're sure you haven't smoked anything today? 

Another grin spread across Jenkins' face. He pulled his tobacco pouch out of his pocket. "Not yet but if you feel like it? I have enough with me." 

Wide-eyed Tom and Adam looked at the bag.

XXX

From a distance, Hoss had to smile when he saw how done Adam was as he leaned against the post. As Tico had told him, Adam had ridden out to the little bridge just after breakfast and now, just after noon, it was very hot. Tico had also said that Adam didn't want any help, because so much had to be prepared for the trail. Hoss left his horse in the shade and strolled to the edge of the creek. "Are you taking a break, big brother?"

Adam cocked his head and looked at his brother. "If you hadn't rammed the stake so deeply into the ground then, I wouldn't have to struggle with it now." 

"Then step aside and let a man do that." 

Hoss came into the water but Adam didn't step aside. So Hoss hit him against the arm but that only meant that Adam growled at him. Somewhat confused, Hoss looked at him. "What's wrong?" 

It was easy to see how angry Adam was. "My back." 

"Damn, why didn't you say that right away. Since when have you been standing here?" 

"Not for long."

Hoss looked at Adam's back and then looked him in the face. "Not for long? Sure, that's why your back is so red from the sun and the sweat runs down your face. Can you straighten up a bit?" 

Adam nodded. "But I still have no real feeling in my leg."

Hoss grabbed Adam by the arm and brought him into the shadows. Then he got his canteen and handed it to him. "Have you overdone it lately?" 

Visibly done by the heat, Adam lay on his back after he had finished the whole canteen. "Not really but this stake has brought me to my knees."

His brother lay down next to him and looked into the sky as he did. "You said to me then, I should ram it so firmly that it'll still be there for the next fifty years." 

"Did I say that?" 

"You did."

Silently they lay side by side for a while. "You know, Adam, when I'm lying here like this, you almost can forget that we're grown up. It reminds me of past days, when we lay with Koko by the creek and looked into the clouds." 

"May I remind you that you never stayed long with us. Most of the time, you went off and searching for some bugs." 

"Nevertheless, many things were easier." 

"Well, ..." 

"Koko and Pelipa had an encounter with Mrs. Billinghurst yesterday." 

"Oh, what's going on with her now?"

"First, she wanted to help Pelipa and Koko with shopping, if they couldn't understand or read everything that was written on the product. Then she'd asked that Travis shouldn't play with Jeremiah anymore. She then gave the order to Koko - that's what she really said - that I should talk to you, that Chesmu shouldn't play with him during the school break. Since then Jeremiah would only come home with torn and dirty clothes." 

"This man and his wife are getting a bit tiring."

"I can't deny that I miss our old pastor. He accepted us just as we are. Do you know that Billinghurst was also in the village and wanted to tell Amarok something about the Bible?" 

Now Adam looked at him. "And he's still alive?" 

Hoss laughed out loud. "As fast as he was in the village, he disappeared again, as the shaman ran to him, talking loudly. I think he won't be going back to Amarok anytime soon."

"I really hope he will calm down soon and focus on his real job." 

"I don't think he will become as popular as his predecessor. What about the leg?" 

Carefully, Adam pulled on his left leg. "Works again." 

But both made no move to get up to work on the bridge. "Adam, can I ask you something?" 

"Mhhh .." 

"Wasn't there a moment when you wanted to marry Koko? Somehow I find it still hard to understand your relationship. Especially after what happened with the cougar."

Again Adam looked into the sky for a while before answering. "Koko means a lot to me and yes, there were times when I thought I would marry her. And yes, I still like to sit arm in arm with her on "our" bench, even though I know that you don't like it that much. But those are completely different feelings, than holding Bridget in my arms. Hoss, Koko and I would never have been as happy as you are with her. I always need some challenge and Koko needs peace and harmony around her. You know how many times I argued with her and most of the time it was either about the farm, or because I really wanted to achieve something and she didn't understand why I was so stubborn. I love Koko but not like Bridget, Sarah or Sophie. She's a part of me and after my encounter with the cougar, I really believe that we have one soul. That we are one. Otherwise, I don't know how to explain that Koko found me."

"Sometimes I'm a bit jealous of the relationship you two have. I tell myself that's childish, because she's with me and not with you." 

As before, Adam turned his head to his brother. "Please Hoss, believe me, Koko loves you the way I love Bridget. Maybe you should spend a nice evening with her again, so you can see how much she loves you." 

Hoss struck hard against Adam's arm. "And of course you'll pick up Travis and Nick and I'll have to listen to your little backhanded remarks for weeks."

Only a cheeky grin was on Adam's face. "You'd better take care of Bridget. She still looks pretty done. YOU should spend some nice hours with her again." 

Arms crossed behind his head, Adam turned his eyes back to the sky. "Emillia comes in the morning to help her but you can tell that Giovanna and Rose aren't living with us anymore." 

"When are Pa and Ma leaving?" 

"Coming week." 

"Shall I talk to Koko, that she should help Bridget?"

"No, Koko has helped us so many times. We have to get used to the fact that we have to get along on our own. We've just been too spoiled in recent years. There was always someone there." 

Thoughtfully Hoss looked at his brother from the side. "Uh, Adam, you're going on the cattle drive soon. Then she'll be all alone." 

Now Adam turned his head to the side. "She won't be alone. The big ones are there and can help her and during the holidays the little tribe is just out and about." 

"Does Bridget see it that way?" 

"Of course, wh ..."

"CAN YOU TWO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?" 

Coincidently, Hoss and Adam raised their heads and looked into Ben's angry face. Next to him stood Little Joe, grinning. "Pa, I don't work at the Ponderosa anymore."  
The angry eyes looked at Hoss so penetrating that he slipped back a bit. "Then don't keep your brother from work!" 

When Hoss wanted to reply, Adam put his hand on his chest and held him back. "There's nothing wrong with a little break."

Ben pointed to the bridge. "You've been here for hours. But there's nothing to see yet. We have enough to do with the preparation for the trail." 

Adam nodded to Hoss, who got up and reached out for Adam's hand to help him up. "We'll have finished it soon, Pa, then I'll come to the ranch."

Once again Ben looked at his two sons grimly and then went to his horse. Grinning, Joe stood in front of Adam. "You getting lazy in your old days, big brother?" 

Head tilted and with a haughty smile Adam nodded slightly. "Dear Joe, we'll talk next week when Pa and Emillia have left." 

"JOSEPH, YOU COMING?" 

Somewhat insecure, Joe looked at his brother. Then he hurried to get to his horse. 

"What's wrong with Pa?"

Adam's eyes were still focused on his father, who was riding off with Joe. "He's pretty nervous because he's leaving Sophie and Winona alone with Joe." 

"He's not alone. You're here." 

"You know Pa and his fear that something might go wrong with Joe." He slapped Hoss at the arm. "Well, come on. Pull out this pole, so I'll finish here at last." 

Both got into the water and got to work.

XXX

Giovanna no longer knew where to look. Bernardo had told her that Riccardo wanted to go to the Ponderosa. So she stood in front of the barn and searched the environment with her eyes. 

"Hello." 

Giovanna turned to Tico, who was just dismounting from his horse. "Hello Tico." 

"Are you looking for our cowboy?" 

"I can't laugh anymore, Tico. He wasn't home after school but just rode right back here. He should have looked after firewood today."

"Did he know he should do that today?" 

Desperately, Giovanna shook her head. "Rose had breakfast with him this morning. I took care of our new arrival. She's seven and was crying half the night." 

Tico looked past her and into the void, thinking about where Riccardo might be. Then he looked back to Giovanna, who was gazing worriedly into space. "You worry too much about him."

Without looking at the foreman, she shook her head. "I think it was a mistake to open the orphanage. Riccardo has more to fight with the disappearance of Frederic and Fabio than I thought." 

"He was always with us before that. This has nothing to do with his father. Riccardo just thinks he's the man in your house now and keeps forgetting that he's only eleven."

"I don't know if I can see it that easy. I get the feeling he just does what he wants to. Adam should talk to him because I don't know what to do anymore." 

Tico briefly touched Giovanna's arm. "I'll look for him and talk to him and if he still won't go home for lunch at least then Adam can still talk to him."

"Thanks, Tico but I still have to talk to Adam anyway. The last storm caused a branch to fall on our roof and it looks like it broke more than we thought. It was raining right through the day before yesterday." 

"Adam is coming back late today. He has a lot to do with Mr. O'Sullivan at the construction site. If I find Riccardo, I'll take him home to take care of the firewood and I'll take a look at the roof." 

Although Giovanna still looked desperate, she tried to smile at Tico. "Thank you."

XXX

"Good Morning." 

In a good mood Adam sat down at the table and went to reach for the coffee pot. But in vain he looked for it on the table. At that moment, Bridget sat down and took the bread-tray to finish the school sandwiches for the children. "You forgot the coffee in the kitchen." 

Adam's eyebrows raised slightly as he noticed the angry glare of his wife. "It's not ready yet." 

"But you've been up before me."

Now he finally knew why the kids today were so quiet at the table. Apparently they had already felt Bridget's bad mood. "I got up because Cholette was crying and not because I wanted to fix your coffee." 

"Did I do something wrong?" 

It still could be heard from her voice that she had been angry about something.  
"No, you didn't do NOTHING but maybe you can tell me today whether we can expect you for lunch or not."

Adam had no idea what could be the cause of Bridget's bad mood. "That depends on whether I have to search for Joe for half the day." 

"Then we'll take pot luck." 

Silently, they continued the meal. "Did you wash my shirt that I gave you the day before yesterday?" 

"No." 

"I need it tomorrow, though." 

"Then take another. You've got enough."

He looked skeptically at Bridget. She didn't only look very angry but also very tired. He gently took her hand. "You should go to bed a little earlier tonight. You look very tired." 

She pulled her hand away and looked at him slightly annoyed but said nothing. Adam leaned back and looked in the direction of the kitchen. "Do you think the coffee's ready?" 

Swiftly Bridget pushed the chair back and went to the kitchen. Sternly Adam looked at his children. "You should always do what your mother says right now. She seems to have slept a bit badly last night." 

They nodded to him and Adam smiled at Bridget, who came out of the kitchen with the pot and poured him a coffee.

XXX

Not even three days after the start of the holidays, the thing Adam had exactly expected to happen happened. Sarah and Sophie had packed their bags and fled to Koko. He had then agreed with Hoss that Sophie could stay with them the last days until their father was back from the trip and that Winona was allowed to go to the village to the shaman. Adam was glad it had been so easy to accommodate his sisters. The day after tomorrow the trail would start and he would have reluctantly left the two with Bridget. Her mood had improved a little but for the first time he had the impression that she was glad that he would finally not be home for several weeks.  
If she was still in such a bad mood after the trail, he'd ask Koko if she knew what was going on with her. But now he would first look for his brother. As it turned out, he hadn't realized yet that he had lost two children.

XXX

Joe cheerfully opened the door, threw his hat on the settee and dropped into the cushions lying there. He grabbed an apple and put his feet on the table. He had spent the afternoon with Daniel and they had made an appointment in town for the evening. "Oh, hello my sweetie. What you got to eat?" 

"What you fix yourself."

Dianne had come out of the kitchen. Her hair was messed up and her face was slightly red. Joe got up and looked at her with his typical innocent look. "You're not going to let me starve? So, what kind of fancy food did you cook?"  
Panting, Dianne went back to the kitchen and returned shortly afterwards with a plate on which were a piece of dry bread and a cup. Both she put quite unceremoniously onto the table. "Honey, who annoyed you so much today?" 

"You." 

"Me ...? What have I done?" 

"I've been waiting with lunch for you. Where have you been?" 

"Me ...? I was busy outside." 

"Oh really? And why did your brother look for you everywhere?" 

Embarrassed, Joe scratched his neck. He could hardly admit that he spent the afternoon with Daniel and had eaten there, too. "We must have missed each other. Sweetie, you fixed something to eat, didn't you? Sarah and Sophie are also hungry."

Dianne's eyes widened. Due to all the work in the house and Mary-Beth, who had been grumpy half the day, she had completely forgotten the two girls. "I'm sure they're with your brother. I haven't seen them since breakfast." 

With an amorous smile he approached Dianne. "That's probably why Adam was looking for me. To tell me that the two are with them and eat supper there, too. Then we have some time for us."

He wanted to hug her but she pulled away from his embrace. "You're not really angry with me, Honey? We should use the time as long as Mary-Beth sleeps and Sarah and Sophie aren't back. I can eat later in town." 

Dianne couldn't look at him more astonished as in this very moment. "You still want to go to town today?" 

"The boys and I want to have a drink before the trail." 

"The trail starts in two days and you're going to spend the last few evenings with the boys?"

Again he wanted to hug her but she took a few steps back. "That's why I want to spend time with you NOW." 

His eyes went to the clock. "And we should hurry. Then you can still iron my shirt before." 

"WHAT?" 

"Sugarplum ..." 

More he couldn't say, because at this moment Dianne grabbed the cup and threw it at him. Quickly Joe ducked, putting his hands protecting over his head and the cup flew over him. But instead of hearing the splintering of the cup, he first heard the front door open and then a loud rumble.

XXX

He had been looking for his brother all afternoon and now Joe's horse was standing in front of the Ponderosa. The anger he felt at that moment could only defuse if Joe told him that he had been looking for Sophie and Sarah all that time. Adam opened the front door and wondered why his brother was ducking. When he realized what was just flying towards him, it was already too late to dodge. The cup hit him right between the nose and his left eye. His head snapped to the side and his forehead slammed against the half-open door. Adam couldn't stand on his feet any longer. He went to his knees and closed his eye with one hand and with the other he touched his forehead. 

"Adam, ... Adam ... you got hit?" 

"No, Joe. I'm kneeling on the floor to see if you've cleaned up."

"Adam, ..." 

Now Dianne was beside him and touched his shoulder gently. "Adam, ... I'm sorry. I didn't want that."

Almost growling, Adam got up and looked at his hands. There was blood on both. He left Joe and Dianne standing and went to the sideboard to get a cloth. Immediately, Joe started running and wanted to get there first to help Adam. He didn't manage to be at the corner of the dining room before Adam. He bumped into Adam's shoulder and pushed him hard against the corner of the wall. Even Joe grimaced in pain as he saw Adam bang his head again. Very slowly but with fast breathing, Adam turned his head to his brother. Joe tried to look at him as guiltily as possible. Meanwhile, Dianne had taken a cloth out of the sideboard and hesitantly held it out to Adam. Without saying a word, Adam dabbed at the affected areas. "Joe, where are your sisters?" 

Frantically, Joe looked at Dianne. Angrily Adam threw the cloth on the table. "You have no idea where they might be!" 

"Well, ... I ... I wasn't even here and Dianne, ..."

"Joe, damn it. When will you finally grow up? They've been with Koko since early this morning and don't you even try to blame Dianne. She's been taking care of your child and the household all day while you've been with Daniel, rather than helping us with the last preparations for the trail."

Adam took the cloth again because blood was still running down his face. "How are you both going to live in your own house someday, if you now don't even get along for a few weeks, Joe? I have to correct myself, how do you want to get along? For I have the feeling that Dianne has realized in recent weeks, what it means to have a family. While she takes more and more responsibility, you are taking less and less."

"That's not true. Even you're not home all day helping Bridget. Finally, we work outside. Then I should expect that my food is on the table and she also takes care of everything else that comes up in the house." 

Adam nodded slightly and wiped off the blood that ran down his nose. "So why are you constantly telling Tico you have to leave because Dianne needs your help?"

Joe puffed his cheeks and didn't know what to say.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll be waiting for you outside at Tico's, be on time, so that we can talk it through and if you're not there, you won't be with us on the trail and not on the trail next year either. Understood, Joe?" 

"You talked loud enough." 

Adam took a step toward Joe but then he threw the cloth on the table and left the house. 

"That has definitely hurt."

Just thinking about how Adam had gotten hurt in the last few minutes, Joe grimaced again. "That will certainly hurt for a few more days." 

He took the bloody cloth from the table and looked at Dianne. "I'll fix something to eat for us and steep the cloth first." 

"And I'll iron your shirt." 

Joe shook his head. "You don't need to be doing that. I'm going to stay at home. The boys will still be there after the trail." 

Before he went to the kitchen, he gave her a kiss.

XXX

Bernardo was in his father's and Finn's office in town. He looked at the plans Finn had laid out on a table. He really couldn't believe that his father had allowed him to work here three days a week during the holidays. Aiyana hadn't understood why he didn't want to spend the holidays with the tribe again but he knew that there would certainly be trouble again if they were all out and about. He knew his sister and Winona too well and he didn't want to be a part of it again when a barn burned down or something got blown up. He enjoyed reading the books they had at home or working in the office. His father had also offered him to work with Riccardo on the ranch but that too wasn't what he wanted. He liked how quiet it was here and how patiently Finn tried to explain everything.

At the end of the holidays, they should finally have managed that they had worked through the first mountain and could now lay the tracks. Today they wanted to ride out to the construction site to check once more that the calculations for the wood were all correct.  
Bernardo raised his head as the office door opened and an unknown man looked around. Since Finn wasn't back yet, he addressed him. "Can I help you, Señor?"

Somewhat confused, the man looked Bernardo up and down. "I'm looking for a Mr. Cartwright." 

"My name is Cartwright." 

Now the man was even more confused. "You are Adam Cartwright?" 

"No, Señor. I am Bernardo Cartwright. Adam Cartwright is my father." 

"And where can I find your father?" 

"He's currently on the cattle drive and won't be back for four to six weeks." 

A small smile crossed the man's face. "In the meantime you run the office here and control the work on the construction site?" 

"No, Señor. That's what Mr. O`Sullivan does. He should be right back."

Just at that moment Finn entered the office. Appraisingly, he looked at the man standing next to Bernardo. "Hello, Mr. ...?" 

The man put his bag down on the table and held his hand out to Finn. "Johnson. Mike Johnson and you are ...?" 

"My name is O'Sullivan and I am the partner of Mr. Cartwright. How can I help you?"

The man briefly shook Finn's hand, then opened his bag and pulled out some documents. "I am a lawyer and currently represent the affairs of Nevada. Your company bought land several years ago to build a rail connection between Carson City, Virginia City and Reno. Is this correct, Mr. Sullivan?" 

After only a few sentences, Finn knew that there would be trouble with this man. "O`Sullivan, not Sullivan." 

"Excuse me please."

It was noticeable that Johnson mispronounced Finn's name on purpose. "You're right, the company has bought a lot of land for the construction. It would be of advantage if you could define more precisely which part you would like to talk about." 

Bernardo was fascinated by the conversation between the two men. He loved the way Finn talked to other people and he liked his accent as well. Even though he always knew exactly that Finn was derided every now and then. Mr. Johnson picked a document from the file and handed it to Finn. "It's about this piece of land. It was at that time bought by a certain Frederic Francois. As far as I know, he's also a partner of Mr. Cartwright." 

Finn looked at the document for a long time but not to read it several times but to play with Johnson as he played with him. Finn didn't doubt for a second that Johnson already knew that Mr. Francois was no longer Adam's partner. So after a certain time, keeping a straight face, he returned the letter to the lawyer. "Mr. Francois ended the partnership late last year."

With pretended horror, Mr. Johnson put his hand to his forehead. "I was afraid of that. Now we have a problem. " 

"Do we, Mr. Johnson?" 

"If you looked closely at the letter, you would have noticed that the land wasn't bought on behalf of the company but on behalf of Mr. Francois himself. So I have to ask you to stop the construction immediately because you don't have permission to build on the private property of Mr. Francois."

Once again, Johnson pulled out a document and handed it to Finn. It was an official document signed by a judge in Carson City. "You said you work for the Nevada Territory? How can you know then that Mr. Francois doesn't agree that we build on his land?" 

"We assume that because the father, Senator Francois, told us that his son bought this land for his wife and children and never wanted a train to drive past his future home."

Knowing why the relationship between Adam and Mr. Francois ended, Finn didn't believe a word. Although he wondered why the land wasn't bought on behalf of the company, Adam was such a thorough and accurate man that he would never start such a project if he hadn't thought everything through beforehand. So there had to be a reason why the land didn't belong to the company. "Then we will clarify that." 

"I would hurry, however, as the state of Nevada has already made a bid to Mr. Francois."

Finn had to choke a smile when he saw how confused and nervous Johnson looked at him. Finn still hadn't indicated what he thought about the whole matter. The piece of land was one of the important sections. They weren't there yet but it would be more difficult for them if they lost this part. "Of course, as long as the exact ownership isn't clarified, we won't build there but because of our own interest and not because we are told so. Besides, you unfortunately made a mistake." 

"A mistake?"

"In your order, you made the request that there should be a construction freeze for the entire construction site but without specifically highlighting the piece of land of Mr. Francois. You indicate the reason of unsettled ownership. Since this is not correct, because I can show you immediately that the remaining areas of the construction site are definitely the land of our company, the judge would declare this order to be unjustified."

For a short while, Johnson bit his lower lip. He'd probably thought he would confuse, frighten and impress Finn with his appearance and papers but Finn had worked for too long in his father's company and knew the lawyers' tricks. So he took the papers with a smile. "Of course, I will definitely go to our lawyer right away, who will take care of this matter, even if it is needless. But we want everything to be done correctly. We do not want to mess with Nevada territory." 

Gritting his teeth, Mr. Johnson shook Finn's hand and left the office with a hissed "goodbye."

Finn thought quickly about what to do now. As it turned out, some senators didn't want the railway line to be built. In any case, he would go straight to their lawyer. Actually, he would also have to contact Adam but he was in the middle of nowhere and until he read the telegram at the destination, it would be too late. "Bernardo, we have to change our plans. Pack your things. It is a happy chance that you are here today because we need to ride out to see your aunt. I wouldn't find the way alone."

"We have to go to Koko?" 

"No, your other aunt. The one with the orphanage. We have to ask her if she knows anything about the land and where her husband is currently." 

Finn grabbed his hat and left the office with Bernardo.

XXX

Relieved and at the same time quite done, Adam threw the saddlebag over his shoulder and tucked the sleeping roll under his arm. The last two weeks on the trail had been hell once again. The sun had burned so that you didn't even have to move to sweat. What Adam was pleased about despite the hot weather was that Joe had worked hard like he had never done before. Apparently Adam's little outburst just before the trail had made a difference.

If that was going to happen on the ranch as well, then the headaches that had accompanied him for more than a week had paid off. Now he could only hope that Bridget was happy that he was back and would welcome him a little happier than she had said goodbye to him.

Smiling, he opened the door and patted Rusty extensively, who came running up to him immediately, exuberantly rejoiced. Also this year the dog had joined the trail just a short distance and then returned to the ranch on the same day. When Adam heard a creaking on the stairs, he straightened up hoping that Bridget had just come downstairs. His movements slowed and his eyes grew larger.

"Bonjour, Monsieur. May I take Monsieur's things off? I'll get Monsieur into a warm bath immediately." 

The man had meanwhile come down the stairs and picked up the saddlebag and sleeping roll from the floor where Adam had dropped it when Rusty had greeted him. Adam still tried to understand what was going on. Not only was the man completely unknown to him, he had also spoken French to him all the time. "Does Monsieur need help shaving, or should I only put the things in the bathroom for Monsieur?" 

Open-mouthed Adam looked to Bridget, who was just coming out of the kitchen.


	103. Chapter 103

With a smile, Bridget walked up to Adam, who, however, gave her a very subdued hug and welcomed her. All the while, his eyes were fixed on the man holding his things in his hands. As he was about to walk on, Adam quickly grabbed his saddlebag and gently pulled it out of the man's hand. "I'll put that away myself." 

"Mais oui, Monsieur. If Monsieur like to do that."

"Henri, before bringing the blanket to the laundry room, shake it out. Every now and then an animal decides that's a warm place." 

She smiled at Adam. "A little snake for example." 

"Bien sûr, Madame."

Henri went outside and Adam took a step away from Bridget. Not only his facial expressions reflected what he thought of Henri, even the sound of his voice clearly showed that he didn't look upon him as a friend. "Who's that?" 

Still, Bridget smiled and took his hand again. "Come with me to the kitchen." 

Angrily, Adam pulled his hand away. "I don't want to go to the kitchen." 

"Since you want to know, who Henri is, you have to come along. We don't want to have burnt food."

She left him to go to the kitchen. With one last look in the direction Henri had disappeared, he followed her.  
He threw his saddlebag on the kitchen table. "So what's going on? I'm listening." 

Bridget put a pot on the stove and didn't seem to be disturbed by her husband. "We didn't expect you until after the weekend. Everything went well?" 

"Who's that man?"

Adam was standing next to her and pointing with his hand outside.  
"That's Henri and he works here." 

His cheeks twitching, he glared at Bridget. "And why? Can't you do without servants after all?"

Bridget still tried not to be infected by Adam's bad mood. "Yes, I know, we can do it all here on our own. WE take care of the household of our SMALL home. WE take care of the children, especially the four little ones. WE take care of the laundry and WE also make sure that the food is always on the table in time."

She took a quick breath in order not to speak in rage. "Adam, I know you help more than other men here in the house and with the children but you're out and about most of the day, so the main work is up to me." Now she shook her head. "You know, I'm the last one to be served, because I'm fine doing the work but it's hard to do without. Either the laundry, the food or the household. And then you go and tell Emillia she doesn't need to help us after her holiday, as does Pelipa and Koko."

"May I say something?" 

His mood hadn't improved yet. "You know my attitude that I don't like when someone in my private area has to work for me. Koko and Pelipa manage on their own. Just like Sybil." 

For a moment, Bridget took care of the food but not because it was necessary but to keep the conversation from going the wrong direction. Then she turned to him again. "Do you really think I'm fine to do it all?" 

She knew that was the only way she would make him think about everything and then he would realize that getting help with seven children wasn't a bad thing. Already she could see how it had worked on him.

"No." 

With his hands in his pockets, he went to the door that led out into the garden and looked at the mountains. Bridget put the spoon aside and stood behind him, putting her hands on his belly. He didn't lay his hands on hers, as he always did but pulled her close and took her in his arms. "Do I become more and more like my father, too blind to see certain things?"

She leaned closer to him and smiled at how well she knew him and his way of thinking. If she had been provoked by him, they would have shouted at each other in the end and then uttered no words about it the following days. In his stubbornness he would probably have grabbed Henri's things and have thrown him out. But now they could talk in peace about the "problem" of having servants.

"I'll see to it that this won't happen. Adam, Koko has her mother and half the village that supports her when she needs help. And remember that Pelipa even stayed with her for a while. Koko and Pelipa are still helping each other and Sybil has her parents in town. Her mother was with her every day when Denise and Dean were small. And remember, when Mr. Conner left us and I took the lessons, you got support every day from Emillia or my mother and there was only Neisha and Chesmu at home in the morning."

She pushed away from him to look him in the eye. "And apparently you forgot one thing, you also grew up with a servant. I'm just saying Hop Sing." 

He looked at her in amazement. "Hop Sing? He's part of the family. He's not a butler or a servant." 

With a loving smile, she tilted her head. "Why did your father hire him then? And remember, at this point, there was only your father, Hoss and you on the Ponderosa. And you've already taken a lot from your father."

Embarrassed, he lightly tugged his ear and tried to look at her good-naturedly. "But where did you get this Henri from? Did you let him come from Boston?" 

Laughing, she leaned back against him. "Ben and Emilia brought him to me."  
Gently he pushed her away again. "What?"

"They met him on their journey. He came from France with a family four years ago. However, the family hasn't managed to gain a foothold here and has gone back with their last savings but the money wasn't enough to take Henri with them. He himself couldn't afford to pay for the passage on the ship. Since Emillia knew that I needed help here, they asked him if he could imagine living in Nevada. We have agreed to a trial period until the end of the year to see if we get along."

"Does he have to rant and then in French all the time?" 

"Hop Sing has often spoken to you in his own language." 

She snuggled up to him and stroked his chest lightly. "I think it's good that he talks like that. Neisha can already speak French very well because of my mother. It would be a pity if she forgot it again and the others get on very well with him. If they don't understand him at all, then he forgets his origin and explains calmly in both languages what he wants them to do." 

She could still feel how hard it was to get along with the idea that Henri was working here for now. „He's only here during the day. Your father gave him one of the cowboy's sheds to live in. Just as it was immediately clear to me, Emillia knew that you won't want to have him around for twenty-four hours a day. He's too much a butler for that." 

"Until Christmas?" 

"Until Christmas and then we'll see how it works. Please give him a chance. He's a very nice man behind his butler image."

She grinned when he looked at her with a small pout. "Did you miss me at least a little? Even though I'm such a bad husband?" 

"I was looking for a replacement." 

"Oh yes? He has been able to replace me in all things? Even in this?" 

With a smile, he approached her lips and gave her a very restrained kiss, which became longer and more sensual. In Bridget's eyes anyone could see how happy she was that Adam was with her again.

"Mmm ..., I seem to remember this man who can kiss so wonderfully but I think I have to repeat that once or twice until I can be absolutely sure." 

When Adam heard a slight harrumphing, he couldn't stop his gaze from starring at the ceiling. "Monsieur, ... Monsieur's bath is ready." 

"Thank you ..., Henri." 

"If Monsieur will need my help, Monsieur will find me in the living room."

Adam just nodded. Henri left the kitchen and Adam exhaled loudly. "If he doesn't stop that, we won't have to wait until Christmas to talk about a permanent job. Because I strangle him before." 

Laughing, Bridget returned to the stove. "You both will find a way. Please treat him with respect." 

Irritated, Adam looked at his wife. "I do with everyone." 

"You didn't look at him when you were talking to him."

With a playfully scowl, Adam took his saddlebag off the table when he stopped. He stood behind Bridget and spoke softly in her ear. "Can't you swap with Henri? He takes over the cooking and you take over the razor?" 

"Adam, ...!" She elbowed him in the side. ".. not only that Henri can surely think why we do that but Emillia will soon come back with the kids."

He still held her tight and covered her neck with lots of little kisses. "Usually you always helped me unpack my saddlebag after the trail. And it didn't bother you, who else was in the house." 

He had to smile when he saw her blushing slightly. His kisses wandered around her neck along to her earlobe, where he nibbled gently. At the same time, his hand moved slightly further up from her belly. "You're impossible, Adam." 

He let go of her with a big grin. With one hand he reached for his saddlebag, with the other he pulled Bridget out of the kitchen. "Henri ..."

XXXX

Giovanna was about to reach for the saddlecloth when she heard a noise behind her. Startled, she looked at the man standing there. "What are you doing here?" 

The man crossed his arms and looked a little concerned. "And I thought you'd be glad to see me again after such a long time." 

She looked at him blankly. "That's why you have to frighten me here in the barn?"

He took a step toward her. "It's better if not everyone sees that I'm back right away." 

Giovanna took a step back. "You just left without saying goodbye." 

He shrugged. "Yes, it all happened very fast and you weren't home." 

He approached her again carefully. "How is Riccardo?" 

"Fine. He missed you. "

Now he stood very close to her. With a cheeky grin he kissed her on the mouth. His head flicked to the side as she gave him a slap in the face. "I think you forgot something important." 

First he looked at her with wide eyes but then he pushed her slowly against the barn wall as she kissed him the way he knew so well from her and he had missed all the time.

XX

Jenkins stood in front of the store and looked at the small list in his hand. He was slightly annoyed when Pelipa had given him the list this morning. It wasn't that he didn't want to go shopping for her but when she told him the reason why she didn't want to go to town herself today. Pelipa had told him that she would only ride with Koko to Virginia City, otherwise she would scratch out the nice pastor's eyes. Every time she went shopping, it didn't take long for him or his wife to turn up. In the beginning, Mrs. Billinghurst always wanted to help her with her shopping and "language difficulties". Then both started talking to her about having Tiponi baptized and that Sally had to go to Sunday school. After failing, they tried to convince her that she could live a better live on a reservation. Not only Pelipa was annoyed by the two, he also had to pull himself together more and more often with each meeting. Simon hadn't felt the bad wolf so strong in a long time.

Several times the pastor had visited him at school and asked him to teach a Bible lesson once a week. So even those who weren't sent to church by their parents on Sunday could get to know the word of God. In the beginning Simon had told him very nicely that he didn't want to do that, for the simple reason that he had so many children of different religions in school that he would have to give up an hour of actual instruction for each belief. As a result, he wouldn't have the time to teach the actual subject. After the third visit, he had pushed the pastor very energetically out of the door, clarifying that he only wanted to see him at school if it concerned Jeremiah. Otherwise not.  
He raised his head, looked down the street and groaned inwardly. Then, however, he cocked his head as he noticed Billinghurst marching from one resident of the town to the next with a list. His instinct told him that it was certainly something against him or against the Indians. Without averting his eyes, he put his shopping list into his pocket and went to meet the pastor.  
"Mr. Silver, take your time and think about it but for peace in town it would be much better." 

"Who disturbes your peace, Billinghurst?" 

The pastor turned to the teacher and looked at him seriously. "MR. Billinghurst, Mr. Jenkins, use courtesy in addressing me." 

"You talk of courtesy? You're likely to forget that, if someone doesn't join your faith."

"We will never speak the same language in that matter. I have come to realize that, after almost a year. That's why we have to change tune." 

"Change tune?" 

Silently but with a sublime look, Billinghurst handed Jenkins the list. More and more people gathered around them and watched the spectacle. Most of them already knew what other ways the pastor wanted to go. Slightly smiling, Jenkins returned the list to the pastor. "And you think the petition is a success?"

"Of course. We've already seen that it's better if the Indians all live on reservations. So everyone can live undisturbed without affecting the life of the other." 

"Have you ever been to a reservation?" 

"You know perfectly well that we Whites aren't allowed to go there." 

Simon got close to Billinghurst and spoke to him so quietly that only the pastor could understand his words. "Then you should really just take care of things that you know about. You should be busy enough and you should think twice about whether you want to mess with me. You only can lose."

Marcus spoke just as softly as the teacher did before. "This way and no different, I know the savages. If you don't know how to go on, you threaten us Whites." 

Simon's hand was already clenched into a fist when Tom suddenly stood beside them. "Is there a problem?" 

Tom didn't need to look closely at his friend. Simon's entire posture made clear that he was about to lose his temper. Billinghurst put on his Sunday smile and took a few steps back. "No, Sheriff. Mr. Jenkins and I only talked once again about our way of life."

Tom's eyes fell on the list in the pastor's hand. "Didn't I tell you to stop that? I don't want to have any trouble in my town." 

"But we cannot close our eyes to the problems." 

"We haven't had any problems here yet." 

"And what about the horses that have been stolen from the Norten Ranch? Again those Indians were behind it."

With his shoulder Tom stopped his friend, who went to go instantly after the pastor at his words. "Mr. Billinghurst, if you don't stop that grubby crusade right away, you can spend a night in one of my cells thinking about how I deal with troublemakers in this town." 

"Me, a troublemaker? I think you'll find them elsewhere, Sheriff." 

Now it was Tom who took a step towards the pastor. "Don't challenge me, Mr. Billinghurst."

Gradually, the pastor also realized that he shouldn't go out on a limb if he didn't really want to spend a night at the Sheriff's. "Understood, Sheriff. But the mayor shouldn't just worry about the teacher's job if even the Sheriff and his friends run around like savages."

He pointed with his hand to Tom's arm. The red feather was clearly visible there. But before the Sheriff could reply, the pastor said goodbye and left. "You can go on. The show's over. " 

Tom glanced again at the people around, then grabbed Simon by the arm and pulled him away. After a few yards, Simon shook Tom's hand off. "Are you blaming me for what just happened?"

"No, I don't but I felt it myself when the wrong wolf is set loose in you. And don't tell me you weren't about to give him a whipping." 

Simon took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "Then tell me what to do. For a year, we have had to listen to his gossip and it gets worse and worse. Now he wants to put all tribes and anyone who carries only a drop of Indian blood on a reservation. How am I supposed to stay calm?"

"But if you blow up at him, you don't win anything except that he feels confirmed. We have to beat him at his own game but just don't ask how. I don't want to worry about that right now. I've got enough to do with the horse thieves, who just paint the town red." 

Simon looked thoughtfully down the street and slowly a smile returned to his face.

"Simon, …? Don't even think about it." 

"You don't know what I'm thinking of." 

"No, luckily I don't. But I know your gaze when you're up to something that won't get everyone excited." 

In a friendly way Jenkins struck his friend on the back. "I have to go. Pelipa's surely waiting for me with lunch." 

Grinning, Simon left a clueless Sheriff behind.

XXX

After a long sip, Adam hung his canteen back on the saddle. Before he mounted, he looked around again but there was no sign of the horses. He also didn't believe in finding them again. Now they too had become victims of horse thieves. He would ride to Hoss tomorrow to tell him that he should be careful and not leave Koko and the kids alone. Of course, Koko wouldn't see it that way but at the moment the farm had the best horses and the thieves wouldn't be satisfied with just three or four of them. To get them all, they needed time. Thus, the danger increased that they would be discovered. They could only avoid this risk if they would track down any witnesses beforehand. Maybe he should also send Tico to the farm for a few days, just to be on the safe side. Although ..., that might not be such a good idea, since Tico was very quiet at the moment and he had caught him daydreaming several times. Probably the new girl in the saloon had turned his head, as the heads of half of the other cowboys. Matthew from the saloon had recently told him his sales had doubled since Kathy worked for him. Grinning, he swung himself into the saddle when he saw her in his mind's eye. She looked damned good, he had to admit. Still grinning, he turned Sport down to the lake. There he would look for the horses as well but then he'd ride back to the ranch.

Amazed, Adam looked to the shore of the lake. He had expected everything but not that. His astonishment turned into surprise, then he was just worried. Something must have happened, he couldn't explain it another way. Slowly he got out of the saddle without taking his eyes off the shore. Then he sat next to his sister but didn't address her. Silently, they both just watched the water for a while.  
"Will you tell Pa?"

"Is it the first time you skip school today?" 

She lowered her head and looked into the sand. "It's the second day?" 

"And Sophie is lying for you?" 

"I gave her three dollars to say I'm sick." 

Her brother cocked his head and looked at her from aside. "What happened? Otherwise you don't lie and don't skip school and certainly you don't instigate others to lie."

"I don't need to go to school anymore. Everything I need to know when I'm grown up, I already know." 

"Sunshine, you're just nine. You'll learn a lot in the years to come." 

The stone, which Sarah had just held in her hand, was thrown angrily into the water. "I don't need to know more for cooking and laundry. For that it's enough what I already know." 

Surprised by the outburst of rage, Adam looked at the stone, then looked back at his sister, who had tears in her eyes. "I can't imagine that you won't do anything else later."

With the palm of her hand, Sarah wiped her face and laughed bitterly. "Yes of course. If I want to work, then I can work at the tailor. I'm looking forward to it but I don't need to go to school because I won't be allowed to manage my money on my own." 

Gradually, Adam wondered what Jenks told the kids at school but on the other hand, he couldn't imagine that his friend wouldn't encourage girls in class to learn more. He hadn't got the impression that Jenks wouldn't let Sally do later what she wanted to do. "Whatever Jenkins told you at school, you can do whatever you like after school, as far as it's possible."

Adam's head and eyebrows raised as Sarah jumped up and yelled at him. "I can't do that. Pa told me that later I'll take good care of my family and nothing else. This is my task. Everything else I should leave to my husband, if I should ever find one at all who wants me with all my crazy ideas. Otherwise, my dear brothers will take care of me when Pa's no longer there. So now tell me for what reason I'm supposed to go to school at all, if I'm not allowed to decide on my own life."

Adam let out a soft breath. Whatever had happened between his sister and their father, it had surely found its end in the barn. If Sarah was so upset with him now, she wouldn't have been much calmer with their father. "First you try to calm down the storm that's in you, otherwise we both won't be able to have reasonable conversation."

Muttering to herself, Sarah sat down next to her brother. He gave her time to breathe several times to calm down a bit. "Would you like to tell me what exactly is going on and why Pa said something like that to you?" 

Angrily, she looked at him. "Pa's so mean and so ... so ..." She took her hands up and ran her fingers through her hair. "... he only sees the Ponderosa and there's nothing else for him. Sometimes I think he doesn't even know that there's anything else than cattle."

Adam tried not to laugh. How many times had he thought just the same way about his father. He took Sarah's hand and looked at her. And he spoke to her calmly. "Try to organize your thoughts so that you can recognize the way ahead of you." 

Not a mite less upset, she growled at Adam. "But I can't do that when I'm angry. And when I think about it, I get even more angry."

"But then we won't see the solution, even if it should be right in front of us." 

Panting, she put her elbows on her knees and leaned on her fists. She snorted loudly. "I was back in the village with the shaman two weeks ago on the weekend. We talked about what I have learned from him so far and if I want to know more about the secrets of nature. He said he would teach me more but only if I'm sure that my knowledge acquired will accompany me in the years to come."

She clenched her hand into a fist. "Yes, I know that I'm only nine years old but why mustn't I know what the shaman wants to teach me? Riccardo's allowed to say that he wants to be a cowboy all the time and everybody believes him. Just because I'm a girl, why can't I think that far?" 

"Pa didn't let you go to the shaman anymore?" 

"No. I'm allowed to go on playing with him, as he said so nicely."

Adam was sure, just as his sister was looking at him, every kid in school would avoid her. "Wynono, this isn't a game for me. Why doesn't he understand that? These are important things that I learn there. Thus the shaman helps those who are sick or injured. Ma also uses the herbs of Koko if one of us doesn't feel so well. He doesn't laugh about it either." 

"And what has upset you so much? Surely not that Pa said that? You know him and that didn't bother you that much before."

She squinted at him for a moment before continuing. "I have also talked to the shaman what I want to do when I'm done with school. At first, I did not know exactly. Then I told him that I wanted to share what he taught me with others, just as Koko wants to help others with it. Wynono, he smiled at me, which he rarely does. Otherwise he is always very serious when he explains or shows me something. Then he took my hand and said I should use what's inside me. The love for the Indians and their culture and that the blood of the Whites flows in my veins. I didn't understand what he meant and then he looked me in the eye. Very deep and as serious as I know it from him. He asked me if I know what war Amarok and you are up to and what purpose you are pursuing. I know that you want to achieve that both worlds become one without forgetting the other."

She took a deep breath and looked at her hands. "The shaman said I'm like you. Curious about everything new and without fear of the unknown. When I finish school and continue to listen to his words over the coming years, I know everything a good shaman should know. But then I should learn what a good white doctor should know in order to unite both worlds in the end. That's how I can show that we are one."

She sat done cross-legged and took a stone in her hand. It was obvious that she thought about her own words before continuing. Adam didn't ask questions because he guessed that she was far from having finished. "I've spent a lot of time thinking about what the shaman meant and what I should do. Then I just went to Doc Martin after school and asked him if women could go to university to become a doctor."

She turned to Adam and there was that fire in her eyes again, when she was excited about something and wanted to know more about it. "Wynono, do you know Elizabeth Blackwell? Doctor Elizabeth Blackwell?" 

Smiling, Adam shook his head. "The name doesn't mean anything to me."

"Doc Martin told me about her. She was the first woman to study medicine at a university here. She had applied to many other universities before but everyone rejected her. In New York, she was only accepted because the other students were asked if they agreed that a woman should study medicine and they did. Doctor Blackwell then finished valedictorian."

The more his sister talked about Doc Blackwell, the happier she became. Her cheeks blushed with excitement. "After completing her studies, she still didn't find a job easily because nobody wanted to hire her, so she went to Europe for a short time but returned quickly. Doc Martin isn't quite sure but he says he heard that she's set up a university hospital in New York, where only women can study medicine."

By now Sarah had gotten up and paced up and down in front of Adam. "Wynono, I could do it. I could really go to New York and study medicine. I could bring both worlds together."  
Then she stopped and her features changed. "If Pa would let me." 

Visibly disappointed she sat down next to her brother. "You talked to him about it?"

"I should have given it a miss but I was so excited after talking to Doc Martin. Ma wasn't at home and so I told him."

Her whole posture showed how sad she was. "He just laughed when I told him what I plan to do after school. A woman as a doctor, that would be the last thing he could imagine. He also said that if a woman did something so absurd, she wouldn't have much chance. I should take a look at Ma and Bridget. Both don't work anymore. A woman would have to fulfill other tasks. And when I asked him what he means, he explained that with cooking and doing the laundry."

Sarah stopped talking and just looked at her hands.

"I'm assuming that wasn't the end of the conversation between you two." 

Slowly his sister moved her head. Her voice wasn't as self-confident as it had been before. "I told him I wouldn't do that. I won't get married and only cook and do the laundry. I'll go to New York, whether he'll let me or not." She nibbled on her lip. "He laughed first and then looked at me with his typical look. How do I imagine that? Completely without money! He said I should realize what it costs to study and that he certainly wouldn't send me to New York on my own. I wouldn't even pass the entrance exam. He didn't intend to support my wild ideas in any way and if I continue to bother him, I'm not allowed go to the shaman anymore."

"And ….?" 

Sarah squinted over at him. "I stamped my foot, said how stupid he is and stuck out my tongue." 

"Correct me if I'm wrong but it ended the way it always ends when you deliver the big show to Pa?" 

"Only that I didn't have to go ahead. He grabbed me right on the collar." 

The moment Adam wanted to say something, she looked at him. "I know that I was naughty and it was wrong what I did but I was so angry. I didn't say or do anything bad. I only said what I would like to do after school."

Now she shrugged. "I asked Simon how much money you need to study. So why should I still go to school, because I can't save enough of my pocket money."

Adam looked at the water and couldn't believe it. How could his father just laugh at the dreams and wishes of a child? He would never understand him in that respect. Adam had hoped that his father would finally understand that Sarah saw and thought many things differently, too. He finally had to realize that she was very different from Sophie. He tried to suppress his increasing rage. Images of his own childhood reappeared as his father often laughed at his thoughts. He kept looking at the water, wondering what he could say to her. "Sunshine, is it still your wish to go to New York?" 

"I'm through with it. Pa told and showed me very clearly what he thinks about it." 

Adam took out his necklace and closed his hand around the snake. "Do you still remember what I gave you for your birthday on the mountain?"

With a sidelong glance at her brother she also took out her necklace. "How can I forget that. I wear it day and night." 

"Then you will surely remember what I told you." 

"That the road of my life isn't always straight and that there are many winding ways. It may take a while to discover my own personal path or style."

"And do you remember what you can do when you are in front of an obstacle?" 

Now Sarah pulled a small pout and looked at him a bit stubborn. "Pa's a damn big obstacle. You can't just walk around it." 

Adam had to laugh but rather quickly he spoke to her in a calm, gentle tone. "But you give up before you even started fighting. Do you know what the future holds for you? If you give up now and don't go to school anymore, you might skip the opportunity to reach your goal once you have found a solution for getting past the obstacle."

"But it was enough for me what happened in the barn the day before yesterday." 

"Sunshine, why was Pa in the barn with you? Because of your desire to go to New York, or because you've been naughty?" 

Still a little growling could be heard when Sarah talked. "I understand."

Now Adam's voice became very serious. "Sunshine. What you're about to do isn't an easy path and you're going to encounter many obstacles. Especially with your wish, you have to learn not always to blow your top. You have to control your emotions and not let the storm in you become a hurricane. Your first step is that you go back to school tomorrow and the second is to knuckle down to get grades that will allow you to pass the exam. If you've overcome all the obstacles and really get a matriculation at the university, then I'll pay your studies if Pa's still that stubborn. But if you continue to be so naughty to Pa and skip school, I won't."

At first she looked at him with narrowed eyes. But then she fell around his neck and squeezed him. "I'm so glad you're my brother." 

Adam said nothing but just thought how glad he was that he had returned home back then and didn't stay in Boston because of his anger at his father.

XXX

In the eyes of Adam, Kathy was slowly becoming a problem. Not only was there no other topic among the cowboys, even Tico wasn't focused as usual. Slowly he dismounted from Sport and stood next to his foreman, who leaned against the tree and read a letter. First he scratched his fingers under his nose, then cleared his throat softly, because Tico still hadn't noticed him.  
Startled, Tico's head whirled around. "Adam, ..."

Adam pointed to the letter. "Did you receive an inheritance and you're leaving soon?" 

Confused, Tico looked at him. "Inheritance?" 

"I can only imagine two reasons why you are standing here and you aren't interested in the fact that the ten cattle that we've sorted out this morning are on their way back to the pasture. One is an inheritance and you're no longer depending on your pay, or you're just considering how to propose to Kathy." 

"Kathy?" 

"Jesus, Tico!"

Adam's voice grew louder. He pointed to the paddock, which was empty. "Someone didn't close the gate properly and since you were the last to be with the cattle, it must have been you. Tico, I know that she's a very pretty girl and that you can talk to her about more than the weather but I've been watching the whole thing for several weeks. Either you can settle things now, or Riccardo will take over your job, because he's certainly not interested in Kathy yet." 

"Kathy?"

Adam's voice became even louder. He pointed to the paddock, which was empty. Adam had to close his eyes to find his inner peace. He had never experienced Tico like that before. Every now and then a girl had turned his head before but Kathy must have stroken him right in the middle. So he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. "Tico, if you're so in love with her, that you're already writing letters - because it's not the first one you've gotten from her - then ask her at last. Now we have time to build you a small house, or you can move into one of ours but please do something. I need a foreman, who's at the ranch with his thoughts and not with his girl."

Tico looked at the letter and then put it in his pocket. "Sorry, Adam. Won't happen again." 

Now it was Adam who looked a bit confused. Tico now didn't look like a man who was head over heels in love but rather as if a very heavy burden was on his shoulders. "No good news in your letter?" 

Tico looked at the paddock and avoided looking at Adam. "It's just a bit more complicated." 

"Can I help you?"

Now the foreman looked at him and laughed a little. "No. I need to get that settled without your help." 

He looked again at the empty paddock. "I'll catch them critters again." 

"All right but you know, I'm here if you need me." 

Tico just nodded, went to his horse and Adam took the reins of Sport. "I'm just going to see my father, then I'll come to help you." 

Tico sat on his horse and pulled his hat down a bit lower. "Thank you, Adam." 

Shaking his head, Adam went on to the house. His father was just coming down the stairs when Adam entered the house.

"Hello Adam. Nice that you dropped by. Then we can talk about what we have to do before Winter." 

Adam put a hand over his eyes. He still hadn't talked to his father about the fact that he didn't really need him any longer but until today it hadn't been the right time. Besides, today he was here for another reason. "Hello, Pa. We can do that too but I wanted to talk to you first about something else." 

"Hello Adam." 

Adam turned and smiled at Emillia, who was just coming out of the kitchen. "Are you staying for coffee?"

"That's not possible. I have to get out and help Tico. I just wanted to discuss something with Pa." 

"But on Friday you all come for supper?" 

"I won't forget my mother's birthday." 

Emillia briefly raised her hand and laughed. "You are impossible, ... son." 

Meanwhile, Ben had strapped his belt and looked at Adam waiting. "Shall we discuss outside what you want to talk about?" 

"I'd like to stay here because the kids are playing outside."

"Fine. What's it about? " 

Adam put his hands on his belt and looked down. "I talked to Winona yesterday. She told me about your conversation." 

Now it was Ben who took a deep breath. "I don't think it's necessary that we talk about it." 

"I see it somehow different. How could you talk to her like that?" 

"Of course you support her absurd idea." 

Both were no longer able to talk in a quiet tone. "Of course. Why not? If Winona really wants something, she'll do everything she can to achieve it."

Ben was standing very close to Adam and glared at him. "Her name is Sarah and again you seem to forget that you are only her brother and not her father." 

"I haven't forgotten that but you seem to forget that Winona hasn't been interested in the healing power of the Indians only since yesterday." 

Ben tapped his forehead with his finger. "You're not really taking her playing with the shaman seriously." 

To avoid giving the wrong wolf the upper hand, Adam once turned away from his father and took several deep breaths. "I can't believe it. You're doing it again."

With akimbo hands Ben stood in the middle of the room. "What am I doing again?" 

Slowly, Adam turned back to his father. "You don't see what the Indians mean to Winona. As you did with me." 

"SARAH, ... HER NAME IS SARAH!" 

"That's irrelevant at the moment. How can you tell her she mustn't go to New York and she's supposed to take care of more important things? What's important to her at the moment is what the shaman teaches her to do and if you ever listen to what she's telling you, you'd see how much she already knows about the shaman's work."

"Dalliances, ... just dalliances. She should …." 

"Can you two stop immediately?" 

Emillia had placed herself between father and son, looking at both annoyed. "You two should listen to each other. Sarah's nine years old but when someone hears you talking, one would think she wants to pack her bags tomorrow." 

It was hard for Ben to calm down. "Emillia, you don't support Sarah in this crazy idea, do you? Though ..." angrily he looked at Adam. "... I should have realized that you're back on his side."

"I'm not on any side but you should really listen better to your daughter and see what she does after school. She takes it, as Adam said, very seriously with what she learns from the shaman."

Ben rolled his eyes and a small smile crossed Adam's face. Immediately, however, Emillia turned to him, because she had just noticed. "And you don't have to grin like that. Your father's right that you are only her brother and not her father. You don't always have to burst in here if you think your little sunshine's being treated unfairly. You both talk about something that won't take place but in seven years and when time comes, Ben and I will talk about it again in peace."

"Emillia but Pa can ..." 

Emillia raised her hand and her eyes said very clearly that he shouldn't continue. "Yes, your father should have talked to Sarah in a different way and could have explained it to her a bit different. But your little sunshine isn't always innocent in that the conversation between her and Ben turns out this way." 

Almost frustrated with the conversation, Adam took his hat and walked to the door.

"I know that Winona doesn't always have her emotions under control but I'll never understand how anyone can ride roughshod over a child's dreams like this." 

Adam opened the door but before he pulled it shut, he could still hear his father. 

"Sarah! Her name is Sarah!"

XXXX

Joe was standing in front of the saloon, grinning gleefully. "One beer, that's all." 

"Yes I know. You've already told me that for the fifth time, Adam." 

"That doesn't mean that it has arrived with you." 

With his flat hand, Joe slapped his brother against the belly. "Trust me." 

Adam laughed. "I've been trying for twenty years ... .. I'm going to the post office first. Joe, please don't screw it up. It's Emillia's birthday today and we all want to spend a nice evening with her. I don't want to tell her that you have to spend the night with Tom."

"I won't screw it up. Take care that you don't end up with Tom." 

Adam cocked his head and looked at his brother with a humorless look. "I'm going to the post office and then pick you up here afterwards. What should happen to me that Tom has a reason to lock me up? My name isn't Joe Cartwright."

"Mostly I'm completely innocent when something like this happens." 

"Of course. And why doesn't something like that happen to Hoss and me all the time?" 

Embarrassed, Joe scratched his temple and shrugged. 

"It's better if you say nothing at all. Order me a beer. I'll be right with you."

Adam walked across the street to the post office. He hoped that a letter or a telegram from Frederic had finally arrived. He still didn't understand why Bridget's brother had bought the piece of land in his own name and not for the company. He had had all authority. He would never have thought that it would have been better to reconsider Frederic's work. He had blindly relied on his friend to make all the decisions in the company's sense. Now he could only hope that there wouldn't be more unpleasant surprises.  
Five minutes later, he stood in front of the post office and was annoyed. As it seemed, he had to settle the matter through the lawyers. Frederic even hadn't responded to his second telegram. So he would quickly drink his beer with Joe and then ride home. In two hours, the entire family wanted to meet at Ponderosa to celebrate Emillia's birthday. With her, he had talked about their small argument at the beginning of the week and apologized that it had become so loud between him and his father. Ben and he had agreed that if Winona still wanted to study at fifteen, they would talk about it again.

He was about to go to the saloon when he saw Jenkins walking down the street. But that wasn't what drew his attention but who walked next to him. And then his eyes widened as he saw where they were going. Immediately he made his way to his friend.  
Adam entered the Sweet Bravour and looked around. Then he saw Jenkins standing at the counter. With quick steps he was with him. "Where is he?" 

"Adam?"

Simon stood straight and looked at his friend in amazement. "What are you doing here?" 

"I try to save you from stupidity. So where is he?" 

Simon started to grin and pointed his head to a table near the stage. "He's not here voluntarily." 

"Yes." 

"Jenks ..." 

Sally's father turned around so that he stood with his back to the stage. "I had coffee with him today and cake. And I've found that he can relax a lot, if you talk calmly with him."

Adam spoke very softly now. "Jenks, don't you tell me YOU brought the cake." 

His Friend grinned naughtily and Adam looked over his shoulder at the table near the stage. "Are you crazy, Jenks? He's just looking for a reason to get rid of you and now you're sitting ducks." 

"Adam, do you mean he wants his wife to know about this, or anyone else in the community? He'll shut up nicely and as long as he keeps his mouth shut on other things too, I'll shut up as well." 

"That will go wrong. You have to take him out of here." 

"I won't do that."

Adam hit the counter with his fist. "Jenks, how far do you want to go? Until he disappears with a girl? " 

Jenk's grin widened as he looked over his shoulder. "We don't need to wait for that anymore. Our nice pastor will be able to let himself go in a few minutes." 

Immediately, Adam turned around and his eyes ran frantically over the room but nowhere could he see Billinghurst. "We have to look for him." 

"Why? Let him have fun." 

Adam rolled his eyes and pulled Jenkins with him. "We don't have to go to extremes. It's enough if he was here. That will be unpleasant enough for him. You take the rooms on the left and I on the right."

Reluctantly, Jenkins opened the door of the first room. It didn't take long before there was a hell of a noise in the upper floor. In that room Adam found the pastor and was relieved that he had found him in time. "Sorry, lady. Unfortunately, we have to end it before it starts." 

He was about to grab Billinghurst's arm when he was yanked back. Adam tried to stay on his feet when the first punch hit face. He staggered back and hit the pastor, who in turn fell backwards. There he sat on the floor and laughed out loud. "Cartwright, I knew I would meet you here."

Adam, however, didn't come to say anything because he was already being grabbed by the collar. Amazed, he looked into Mitch's face, who was just about to take another punch as he stumbled forward and fell to the ground with Adam. Jenkins had jumped into Mitch's back and was beating him. Mitch, however, immediately punched Adam who was lying beneath him with his fists. When Jenkins grabbed Mitch by the neck to turn him sideways, he suffocated. The girl who had gone to the room with the pastor had hit him on the back with one of the chairs. So Mitch was able to get on his feet again. He pulled Adam up with him. Mitch rammed his shoulder against Adam's chest. The brawl between the two now shifted to the hallway. Jenkins grabbed the laughing pastor and followed Mitch and Adam outside. But the laughter stopped immediately when the girl just wanted to help Mitch again and hit Adam with another chair. However, Adam just turned away and the chair hit Billinghurst's face. Groaning, he fell to the ground again. Simon hesitated and didn't know if he should laugh now or not. The girl now clung to Adam's back and yelled at him to leave Mitch alone. In vain, Adam tried to shake off the girl while avoiding Mitch's punches. Again Simon took the pastor by the hand and with him he ran against Mitch. He had to cling to Adam so as not to fall. In the end, however, they had so much momentum that they all rolled down the stairs. Crying and screaming, the girl sat on the first landing while Adam and Mitch fell down. Slightly dazed, Adam tried to be faster back on his feet again than Mitch. 

"Jenkins, you were right. Here you can really have fun." 

With a loud cry, the pastor jumped down the last steps and yanked Mitch and Adam, who were standing in front of the stairs. All three crashed into one of the tables and then lay on the floor.

"Touché!"

Jenkins was about to pull Mitch down from Adam when he felt something cold on his temple. "If you touch him, I'll pull the trigger." 

One of the girls was standing in front of him with a rifle in her hand, aiming at his chest. Slowly Simon took up his hands. At the same time, Tom and Steve arrived.  
"What's going on?" 

"They took the Bravour apart." 

Only then did Tom recognize his friend and when his eyes fell on Mitch and Adam, who were still lying on the ground, he was completely stunned. When he recognized the pastor, he didn't know what to say or think. "We take them all." 

"No."

The girl pointed to Mitch. "Not him. He belongs to us. He's innocent of what happened." 

"Sweetie, in a brawl between the two ..." He pointed to Adam and Mitch. "... Mitch is never innocent." 

He pushed Jenkins in the back. "You know the way." 

Then he grabbed Mitch and Steve took care of Adam and the pastor.

XXX

Adam was standing against the wall of the cell, looking rather darkly at Jenkins, who was lying on the cot, not giving the impression that he had a guilty conscience about what had happened. Mitch sat in the neighboring cell and looked just as dark. Their heads went to the door when it was unlocked and Tom and Yvette came in. Angry, she looked at the men. When Tom unlocked Mitch's cell, he was already at the door.

"Well finally. What took you so long?" 

Yvette's angry eyes wandered from Jenkins to Adam and then to Mitch. "I first had to look at what you did." 

"We? Blame them two idiots." 

"Stop Mitch. I know for a fact that you were just waiting for an opportunity to start an argument with Adam but I warned you never to do it in my bar." 

"Oh, should I just watch them disturb your girls at work?" 

"Did you ask Adam what that was about? Of course not. You'll have punched him right away." 

Adam went to the cell door. "What do you have to do with HIM?"

Not only was Mitch's look arrogant, his grin also showed that he felt being head and shoulders above Adam. "She's my girl now. She wants to have a man by her side and no wimp, so keep that in mind for the future. Hands off." 

"Yvette ...?" 

In disbelief Adam looked at her. "... not Mitch." 

Yvette closed her eyes. Then she stood very close to Mitch. "Mark my words. I don't belong to anyone and if you don't stop your jealousy right away, I'll tell Tom that you can spend the night here."

With a last angry look, Yvette left the cell area. Grinning and pointing the thumb at himself, he whispered to Adam, "MINE!" After that he followed Yvette. 

With an incredible rage, Adam hit the bars when Tom closed the door without saying a word. "Relax, Adam." 

"I'm supposed to relax? Do you realize how you screwed things up?" 

"Screwed up?" 

Jenkins straightened and sat at the edge of the cot. "I didn't screw things up. I've caused a stir but achieved exactly what I wanted." 

"Oh, what? That you can pack your things?"

Now Simon pointed to the still smiling pastor who was lying in the other cell on the cot. "I assume that his wife will be here soon and do you really think one of them wants to see what he did at Yvette's? He won't remember that he has eaten cake with me and if so, he won't associate it with that. They will eat out of our hands so we won't say anything." 

Adam was still angry with his friend. "So what's the big idea, Jenks? Why do you have to resort to such unfair means?" 

"Why?"

Even Adam's friend got a little angry. He got up slowly and walked to the bars. "Adam, such guys as Billingshurst are the ones who cause problems. They try to belittle us. They say that we are the savages. That we don't know how to behave. That we cause trouble and all of that because we believe in another God. And such people as Tyler's father believe these words. But did you only once experience the shaman or another of the Gosiute was here in town to tell something about the Great Spirit? That we try to impose our faith on others?"

"You're not telling me anything new, Jenks but that doesn't justify what you did." 

"Not? Yes! Because he wouldn't rest and it was the only way to ensure peace without anyone being hurt. He will certainly have no other opinion about the Indians when he's feeling better but he will leave us alone. Yes, I blackmail him. But to ensure peace, you sometimes have to dig up the hatchet when ... "

Adam raised his hand. "You wouldn't have pushed it through to the end?" 

"Why not. Surely he wouldn't have that fun with his wife, as he would have had with the girl at Yvette's and if you hadn't been the moralizer again, we wouldn't be sitting here right now." 

Adam opened his mouth. "Now I'm to blame for that?" 

Jenkins dropped back onto the cot and closed his eyes. "You had to interfere again."

Speechless and pretty exhausted by the events, Adam sat on the other cot. A short time later the door opened again and this time Tom came in with Joe in tow. It didn't take a minute and Adam's little brother started to laugh. "Please Adam, you must tell me how you slipped into this." 

"I won't tell you anything." 

Tom unlocked the cell and nudged the cot on which Jenkins lay. "You can leave, Simon. Little Joe has paid your fine."

With momentum Jenkins stood up and slapped Joe on the arm. "Thanks a lot." 

Adam wanted to follow his friend but Tom stood in the way of Adam and pushed him back. "Not you." 

"What?" 

Tom locked the door again. He was still far from being enthusiastic about what had happened. "You'll stay with me overnight." 

"Why?"

"Very simple. The punishment that Mitch and Jenkins have to pay is very high and it tears quite a hole in both household budgets. And now tell me how high your punishment should be, so that it really is a punishment for you? No buddy, you won't learn anything from paying a fine but if I keep you with me today, you'll remember how to behave." 

"I can't stay here. It's Emillia's birthday today." 

"Even better."

Again, Joe laughed loudly. "This will be a fun evening, when I tell them why you can't come." 

"Joe, just shut up." 

"No. Why should I? Do you know how nice that'll be that I'm not the topic of the conversation at home? And I'd really like to be there when you explain to Bridget how you got the black eye but how did you get the scratches on your face." 

For a long time Adam didn't look at his brother anymore. "Tom get him out, or I'll have to stay with you longer because I killed him." 

Angry, Adam kicked the cot when he heard Joe laugh again outside the door.

XXX

Hoss reached out for Koko's hand as she climbed over the log. "We should have stayed on the way." 

Koko smiled lovingly at him. "Hoss, how do I get along when I'm alone in the forest?" 

Hoss looked at her in surprise. "Ain't you always on the way?" 

Gently, she looked at her husband. "The leaves I seek rarely grow on the way. And you know that for sure." 

"I don't want to think about it." 

"Don't you always worry about me like that."

Hoss took Koko's hand and they both moved on through the forest. "Why did you want to take the long way to the village today?" 

Embarrassed Hoss grinned. "Because I wanted to be alone with you." 

"But for that we needn't take that way. We were alone for the last hours. You just had to come in a little earlier. Then we could have had time for ourselves before we had to pick up the children." 

"When are we ever alone when we're at home? Unless Pelipa or someone from the village is with us, it won't be long before Adam's at the door."

"Hoss ..." Koko couldn't help it. She laughed when she saw Hoss' face. "... that's not quite true and Adam won't show up in the next few days after his special visit to Yvette. He'll be busy reading every wish in Bridget's eyes in the near future." 

Hoss looked at her from the side. "Even more than usual?"

Both had to smile slightly. As Koko headed left for the village, Hoss pulled her in the other direction. "We have to go down there, or do you want to go even more far?"  
"I thought we could still go to the little well." 

Amazement was written on Koko's face. "But we could have gone there earlier. Now we're heading back again." 

Hoss just shrugged. "We still got time." 

"Is everything alright with you?"

"Mmmm..." 

Koko didn't ask any further but looked at him again in surprise. Just before the well they stopped. "Oh ... Oh ... that will cause trouble." 

Now Hoss was a bit confused. "Why?" 

"Why? I think we both just saw the same thing." 

"Yes and? They just said goodbye." 

"So ..." Koko looked into his eyes in amusement. ".. if you take that as a normal goodbye, then I can say goodbye to Adam this way."

"It was just a kiss among friends." 

"You mean, that was a harmless kiss?" 

Hoss looked after the two, who were riding in different directions. "For me it looked like that." 

Koko stood on her tip toes and gave Hoss a quick kiss on the cheek. "So for me that's a harmless kiss and I'd say harmless too ..." She kissed him briefly on the mouth. Then she pulled closer to him and gave him a very long kiss, which showed him very clearly how much she loved him. Smiling, she looked into his blue eyes. "... and are you still of the opinion that this is a harmless kiss among friends?"

"I'm not so sure yet, if they kissed each other just that way." 

Koko kissed him again just like before. "Well, I wouldn't like to say goodbye to you now." 

Hoss had put his arms around Koko and pulled her close. "Koko, you know very well that I had problems at school to always understand everything right away. I think I should try it again and you'll tell me if it's right. But it may be that we have to repeat it a few times, until I really know the difference between a harmless kiss and a real kiss." 

Their lips met and pretty soon, Hoss and Koko didn't think about the two who were at the well before them. Nick and Travis didn't get picked up until the next morning.


End file.
